Hey, i dont believe it, man. This houseive never seen it this clean before. Thats because its never been a honeymoon cottage before. Honeymoon cottage . Yeah. Come over here. I got this telegram this morning. Here, look at it. Hey, what do you know about that . Aunt frances finally got married. Mrs. Rodney victor. Its a beautiful, isnt it . Mrs. It sure is. Yeah, see theyher and her husband are moving to los angeles. Have they found a place to stay yet . No, theyll stay with us till they find something. Hey, thats good, pop, because i like aunt frances. Yeah, son. Im telling you, shes the greatest. , isnt she . Oh, yeah, son. Shes joan of arc, madame curie, shirley chisholm, and lena horne all rolled up into one. You roll all them into one and you get totie fields. Thats funny. Yeah, i thought youd like that one. Look here, son. Ill just show you something here in the album book. Look here. Aw. Theres my baby sister right there. Yeah, see that. You know, you were more like a father to her than a brother. Passed when she was 2 years old so i raised her like she was my own. Hey, hey, what is this guy that shes marrying, Rodney Victor . What does he do for a living. Son, i dont know what he does for a living, but it must be something good because frances is too great to settle for anything less than mr. Right. [groans] ill sure be glad when they get here. Be like one big happy family. Thats good. My house is their house. Hey, thats nice of you to say that, pop. My food is their food. Hey, thats the way i like to hear my old man talk. Welcome sis and broth. Thats not broth. Thats bruth. You know, like in brother. Well, it looks like broth to me. Well, only a real dummy would think that was broth. [car engine] ey for the cab. All right. Ill let you have some. You excited, huh . Yeah. You ready . Yeah. Hurry up. You ready . Go ahead. Come on. Im comin. You look terrific. You really do. Nownow, are you sure your brother wont be upset about me being white . No, i dont think so, but just to be safe, um, turn black. Oh, honey. Youre so wonderful. I love you. 3. 00 oughta cover it. All right. Here you go. [knock on door] get the door, son. Hurry up and get the door. Hi there she is oh, frances. In, rodney. Oh, fred. Oh. Oh, fred. It so good to see you. Hello, lamont darling. Hello, aunt frances. Nice to see you again. Hey, rodney hey, rodney, stop Kiddin Around rodney hey, just put put the bags right down there, driver. From the airport and the tip, too. Thank you. Hey, rodney. Hey, rodney. Hey, frances. Hey, what happened . Your husbands missing. And hey, buddy, your cab is missing, too. Listen, frances, rodney wouldnt be the kind of guy that would steal a cab, would he . Uhuh. Fredfred, this is not the cab driver. Id like you to meet Rodney Victor, my husband. My brotherinlaw [screaming] oh, elizabeth. Oh, elizabeth, honey, i got to come to you. Oh, oh uh, ifif you all would excuse me. See, the situation has completely overwhelmed my father and i must calm him down. Surprise. Oh, shut up. Look, dont drink it, pop. I aint gonna drink it. Im gonna pour it over my body and strike a match to it. Man, thats some shock there, isnt it . Holy mackerel. Will you look at this, frances . Look at this money. Your brother must have hit a daily double or perfecta. Put that back. Put it back. Come on over here. Hey, wheres my racing form . Rodney, nobodys talking about racing. Hey, pop, you look frozen. Sure im frozen. I just got hugged and kissed by snow whitey. Ill be right down. All right, darling. Take your time. Ahh caught you, didnt i . What . Caught you trying to steal the money we was saving for a stereo. I wasnt stealing it, fred. I was just puttin it back. See there. See, you was trapped by your own words. The question is, mr. Intermarried, how could you possibly be putting it back in there if you didnt take it . Ahh. See . Case closed. And thats grounds for divorce. And im gonna divorce you from my sister by the power vested in these. I gotta tell you something. Fred, i gotta tell you, frances said you were funny, but youre hysterical. Sis and broth. Um, i like the way you see the humor in my fathers stuff, but just for the fun of it, id like for you to tell me how you could be puttin the money back if you didnt take it out of there cause i like to laugh, too, you know . Ha ha ha. You know those 3. 00 he gave me when i was coming in . Wellwell, i just put it back in the drawer. Sure you did. Lamont and fred ahh. Were you shocked . Oh, no, darlin. Nothin could ever be wrong as long as im alive. Everything gonna be all right. So, dont you worry about a thing. Youyou just go on upstairs and unpack your suitcase. Yes, put i dont want to put you out. You couldnt put me out. You mean all the world to me. Now, go on upstairs and take the first bedroom to the left. Ill go get the bags. Yeah. And you come on back down and take the first couch to the left. What are you talking about . Im talkin about a place for my sister shell sleep in your bed, youll sleep with me, and the couch goes to the man from glad. Oh, oh, not to put you out. You two sleep in your own beds and well just cuddle up nice and tight right here on this couch. No, no, no. Wait a minute. Now, its been all decided, now. Look here. Now, heres what it is. Ok. Now, this is all straight, aint it . This is straight. Now, lamont takes the couch. Thats fine with me. Sounds like a good plan. Andand you and rodney, frances, take my bed. Whatever you say, brother. And, uh, rodney, you got the first watch. And from 12 00 midnight till 6 00 in the morning rodney will take the first watch out in the yard. And then ill come and relieve him with the second watch. You got it clear now . See, and when he comes off his watch, he can sleep here on the couch to keep from waking up frances. U please tell me what youre talkin about . Im talking about the watch. Im talking about the ghetto. The ghetto. Wherewhere people have to watch their loved ones. You cant close your eyes for one solitary moment and let your loved ones lay there unguarded. Im gonna have my loved one committed. Youre going bananas. You know that, pop. Goin bananas goin bananas wow thats the horse thats running. Oh, i love you, nephew. Hey, man. , rodney. Not horse racing again. Please, honey. No. Honey, he cant miss. Now, listen, honey. Hes gonna be a long shot because of the field, but i know the trainer and he swore the horse couldnt lose. What is he talkin about . Uh, fred, my husband has only one problem. Yeah. Hes color blind. No, hes a horse player. Was, frances. Was. But ive quit, havent i . Oh, well, you have eased off. You really have. But why are you bringing it up now . Theres a horse running at santa anita today named goin bananas. Now, hes gonna go off at 10 to one. 100 will get us 1,000. Now, i know hes gonna win. I know the trainer, i know the horse, and by sheer coincidence, my dear nephew just said the name. Going bananas honey, its a sure thing. Id be willing to bet all their money on it. No, rodney. No. Not our money. You aint gonna put up part of my money on that. Come on, brother. Nephew. Hey, man. Say you agree with me. Do you . Listen, rodney, im gonna tell you what frances should have told you a long time ago. Uhoh. Whats that . This. I disagree with gambling, i disagree with you marrying my sister, and you disagree with my stomach. Dney rodney let him go. Let him go. But, fred, hes my husband. Would you shut up . Will you shut up . Fred, how could you . How could i what . You were cruel to him. I dont blame him for leaving this house. Im almost tempted to do it myself. Oh, honey, dont talk like that. My house is your house. My husbands house is my house wherever it is. Oh, i dont know. How could you marry him anyhow . Oh, fred. Would you try to understand . I love him. Heshes kind, warm, generous, goodnatured, and he loves me. Oh, be serious. Oh, fred. Stop it. You really mean, how could i marry a white man, dont you . Well, aint there no kind, warm, generous black men . Yeah. There are many. Me. Well, maybe if i had waited, i might have found another black man just as wonderful, but, uh, rodney came along first and he just happened to be white. Well, im sorry, frances. Maybe he didnt go away mad. Maybe he just went down to the corner for a paper. Of course. He went to buy a racing form. Where would that be . Down on the corner. Let me go. No, ill go. Ill be right back. Hi, aunt frances. Hello, lamont. s her rush . Shes rushing to try to catch the white tornado. I guess by that you mean her husband. Yeah. What you doin home anyway . Well, i forgot to take money with me this morning. I couldnt buy no lunch. Oh. You know, son, maybe i was a little too hard on him. I think so, too. Hes not such a bad guy. Nah. Yeah. I guess you can learn to like somebody like that. Hey, pop, its gone. All the money is gone. Whwhwhwh i knew it. I knew it, son. I knew he was a crook. Ked. Weve been had by the kissing bandit. I knew it, son. I knew it. I knew it. You just cant trust em. Bring em into your home and they rob you blind. Ok, pop. Thats enough already. Its is all my fault though, son. I know better. Youre not supposed to tempt them. Theres 2 things got to always do. Thats hide all your money and lock up all of your liquor. Look, lets not go accusing the man on the spot yeah. Youre right, son. We have to consider the evidence. Now, lets see. The cash is gone and hes gone. Guilty. Death by hanging. Case closed. [knock on door] who could that be . Could be the police. The police . Dont tell me you called the police. Thats right. Pop, we dont even know if rodney did it or not. Man, look. When they come in here, all right . No names. No names. Hey, what do you say, lamont . Hey, hoppy and smitty. How you doin, sir . Whats goin on . I sure am glad they sent you two over as opposed to 2 other policemen. Well, thank you very much. You know, theres very few victims of social injustice who give Us Police Officers a warm welcome. Whats the problem, fred . Well well, see, its kinda of a delicate situation now, wait just a minute. Let me explain to the man. Please. Ames. Ok. Well, listen. Heres what happened. Now, my sister, who we call madam x. Madam x. Yeah. Sent me a telegram saying that she was married to a gentlemen who we will refer to now as. Thievin honky. Yes. Yep. How do you spell that that honky . Yt. Y. Yt . Yeah. Say it again. Yt. Yt. Yt. Yt. Whitey. Whitey, oh. Will you stop it with that . Whats the matter with you, fool . I meant it. Man, you dont treat people away ill handle this. Now, ill handle this. Look, we had a lot of money here in the house its missin. Yeah. And we had a brotherinlaw in the house and hes missin. I think i understand what youre gettin at. Now, did either of you actually see this person take the money . Well, no. We didnt actually see. Well, then, fred, you could be jumping to conclusions. Yeah. Ill jump in his chest if i find him. Not only that, ill play ring around the rosey and shove it up his nosey. Calm down. Calm down. The police will handle it. I dont know why she ever married him in the first place. What are you talkin about . Well, i dont wanna be an alarmist, you know, but after 2 years in the bunco division, well, i well what . Well, theres such a things as a gang of unscrupulous men who go around marrying unsuspecting women and once they spuriously interject themselves into the family unit, they purloin everything they can through a series of sophisticated larcenous machinations. The guy could be a con man tryin to rip you off. Oh, no. Now, this is only guesswork, however, in facts. Only the facts. Never in guesswork. Come on, hoppy. Lets go. Right. See ya later. Oh, and remember, gentlemen, the man is innocent until proven guilty. Poor fred. Hes got a brotherinlaw whos guilty. He said that my sister married that guy and all he wanted to do is get his hands on my bunco. Thislets just conduct our lives as if nothin at all happened. And sooner or later rodney and aunt frances will show up. Yeah. Mr. Right not white. Hi. Hello. Hi there. Hi. Hello. Hi and hello. Thats all you say when you walk into a house is hi and hello . Pop, would you calm yourself down now . Everybody says that when they walk into a house. Well, shame on em. Would somebody please tell me whats going on here . Frances, it kills me to tell you this, but rodney married you so he can get his hands on my bunco. Your what . Le my 200 out the drawer we was savin for a stereo. Oh, i see. Oh, fred. Rodney didnt take that money, i did. Here it is. Oh, no. No, no, no. I saw that. I saw that in the movie night before last. Where the wife made up for the evil her husband did. What movie . It was called rodney goes to jail. Thats not what happened, man. No, you see, when rodney mentioned how excited he was about that horse, i took your money to remove it as a temptation. Oh, you took the money uh, where yall been . I went out to the track to watch the race just to see if my hunch was right. Was it . It sure was. Goin bananas came in and paid 10 to one just like i thought. Now, if id bet 200, wedve had 2,000 smackaroos right now. You dummy you big dummy why didnt you steal my money . [knock on door] ugh. What . what . hi. Who ordered for the stereo, maam . Wn there. Thank you. Youre sure welcome. I sure hope yall enjoy it, now. Hey, whwhwhat is that . Thats a stereo set. I know its a stereo set. I can see its a stereo set. Yeah. I aint blind. I know what a stereo set like whatwhat is it . Sometimes its best to give my father a glass of warm milk and a twinkie and leave him alone. Listen. Now, whats it doin here . Its a present for you from rodney and me. Told me rodney bought a racing form and went out to the track. So, i went out there to find him. Isnt she wonderful . Is that love . Do you see what we have, fred . I dont know what she got, but you got chronic hugitis. So, howd you ever find him at the race track . Well, naturally i couldnt. Then i felt badly for not trustin him and so i did what i thought he would do if i had trusted him. I bet 20 of my own money on going bananas. And you won 2,000 . And so, rodney and i bought this stereo with it. You a tribute to the man that raised you. I raised you perfect, honey. Didnt it . No, fred. Im not proud of myself. Um, i did take your money without tellin you. Yeah. Well, dont even mention that. Whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine. Fred. Fred, i gotta tell you something. Huh . Youre the best. Youre the best broth in the whole world. Let me go. Get this polar bear off of me. Get him off. 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Well, you know, i look at it like this, ever since frances was 2, i wanted to see to it that she was happy. So, if shes happy married to pale face, . Good times . . Anytime you need a payment . . Good times . . Anytime you need a friend . . Good times . . Anytime youre out from under . . Not getting hassled, not getting hustled . . Keeping your head above water . . Making a wave when you can . . Temporary layoffs . . Good times . . Easy credit ripoffs . . Good times . . Scratching and surviving . . Good times . . Hanging in a chow line . . Good times . . Aint we lucky we got em .