Dd assemblage art. Now, does anybody here have any idea what the authors trying to say . Yeah. Stay off the freeway. Ladies and gentlemen, that concludes our tour for the day. Thank you very much and please come again. Youre free to browse. Browse. Im gettin out of here. Wait a minute. Get over here. Hey, that was a real nice lecture, sandra. You really know your work. Well, thank you, lamont. Im glad you and your father could make it. Mr. Sanford, so nice to meet you. Thank you. Say listen, how much is this pile of art . 40,000. Mr. Sanford, art cant be measured in terms of dollars and cents. You see, art is a legacy. Somethin left behind by its creators. Well, i got a legacy. What . Mr. Sanford. The artists whole life is in this art. Each piece here represents a part of him. What you see here before you is. Well, whats inside of the artist. Hmm. Maybe he needed a physic. Hey pop. Huh . Dont tell me that that was you out here hammerin and bangin all last night. What . [louder] i said dont tell me that that was you out here hammerin and bangin all night long. Speak right up, son. I cant hear. Mymy ears are numb. See, ive been out here hammerin and bangin all night. Hey, man. What are you doing . A legacy. When people see this, theyll remember me. That will make me immoral. Thats immortal. Have you forgotten, pop . We borrowed 400 from the bank, man. And the sale is only 2 days away. If its not 100 successful, were gonna be in hock up to our ears. Well be ready. Ok. I gotta go make some pick ups with the truck. Now, when i get backim gonna be gone all day. And when i get back here tonight, i expect this thing to be finished. A time limit on creativity. Did mrs. Bell say, hurry up, man, and invent the telephone, i gotta call my mother . Did mrs. Edison say, hurry up, man, will you get that light bulb finished cause it gettin dark in here . How you doin . Hi, lamont. Im tired, man. I must have put over 200 miles on that truck today. Stop, bargain, make a deal, load the truck. Stop, bargain, make a deal, load the truck. Yeah. I know the feeling. Im tired, too. I must have played over 200 games of solitaire. Shuffle, make a deal, cheat myself. Shuffle, deal, cheat. Its almost 6 00, man. Wheres my pop . Im starvin. Who . Fred sanford. Lamont, dont ever mention my exbest friends name in this house again. What are you talking about, grady . If a certain party, who shall remain nameless, wants to treat his exbest friend the way that this nameless person is doing, then his exbest friend shall refrain dy . Lamont, your father can take his art and shove it up his nose. Grady, what are you trying to say . Who needs nameless . I dont need nameless. Im swinging grady. Gregarious grady. Groovy graceful grady. Would you please tell me what youre trying to say . Lamont, im lonely. Im so lonely. Your fatherhe wont talk to me. Hes all wrapped up in his art. You mean to tell me he hasnt finished that monstrosity yet . No. All right. Well, im put a stop to this right now. The sale is 2 days away and hes out here foolin around. I dont know why hes doing that. Ill tell you i. What is it . Damn if i know, but all the dogs hey, pop. Would you come down here . Comment allezvous . I thought i told you when i left here this morning that i wanted you to get this thing out of here. Listen, im gonna try and forget that you called this a thing. And im gonna try and forget that you look like the fruit section of the supermarket. Thats all right. Go on, insult me. See if i care. Great artists all down through the ages have always been insulted. So, if you wanna call it a thing, go on and call it a thing. Its a thing. If you wanna call it junk, call it junk. Its junk. If you wanna call it ugly, call it ugly. Its ugly. If you wanna callcall the hospital and get a room ready, now is your time. cause im tired of you talkin to me. Ill seesee ya, lamont. Now, son, im gettin on back to work. Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Now, we got over 200 worth of inventory out there on the truck, pop, and i cant even bring it in here because of this tower. Tower . Thats right. They got the watch tower, and the eiffel tower, and now, the fred g. Sanford Memorial Tower and private park and historic landmark and forest. Youre really serious about this, arent you . Thats right. Well, im gonna level with you, pop. In my opinion, youve created a shapeless, formless, meaningless piece of nothing. Son, dont be so hard on yourself. Im expressin my true feelings about your tower. And im expressin my true feelings. This is more than a tower. Its part of my life. Everything here means something in my life. Look at it. I mean, just look around. Pick out something. It has something to do with my life. All right. A water pistol with a flower stickin out of it. What is that . That means somethin in my life. That reminds me of the first job i had in los angeles. A water pistol with a flower stickin out of it. Well, you were too young to remember when i was a night watchmen at the carnation milk company. Look, pop, i realize that youre serious but you gonna have to tear it down. The Clearance Sale is only 2 days away. Tear this down . Id ratherid rather spend 3 nights and 2 days in las vegas with your aunt esther. Inin a cheap room. With the door locked. From the outside. I realize youre serious about it, but this is, uh this is a ugly mess that youve made here, man. You dont know nothin about judging art. All right. Im gonna tell you what im gonna do. Im gonna call the museum and im gonna ask sandra to fall by here and well let her decide if this is art or not. Is that fair enough . Thats fair enough. Thats fair. Now, listen here. Now, you get out of my way cause you standing in the light. What light . Its 7 00 at night. Sure is. Well . You want the truth . Truth. ] lamont, its incredible. Its shocking. Its. Its worthless. I mean, its no unity. Theres no theme. Its just a conglomeration of items without any social significance. Yeah. I kinda figured that, too. Look, i wouldnt have even bothered you to come over here exceptsee, im desperate, man. If my father doesnt get this out of the way, im gonna have to call the sale off. I understand and im sorry, but i gotta go. All right. Ill tell my pop what you said ee you friday night. Sure will. Hey, pop. Pop. Fred im coming, son. Look here, son. I got this book over here yeah, i got it from the library. Yeah, but see, i and its all about famous people who left legacies. And its called, whos who. Yeah. Right. I know that, but see that i wanted and your father, fred g. Sanford, is goin right here with the gynecologists and the biologists and all them dermatologists. Right here in the capital js. For junkologist. Yeah. Look. See, i got something to tell you, pop and its you know, son, i just dont remember when i been this happy. Oh, yeah . Yeah. And see, workin on my art has given my life a new meaning. You know, something to look forward to. You know, because when i leave this work of art, i leave something people will remember. When i go and have that big one, the real big one, i leave part of my life here. Something people will know and remember. Yeah, pop, but see, i you know, son, i feel 10. No, 15. No, 20 years younger. You wanna play some stickball . Uh, pop, see, sandra said she was over here oh, yeah. Sandra, sandra. She loved it, didnt she . Well. She ws impressed. She said it was shocking and incredible. Son, i could cry. You givegive me some of those handy wipes, will ya . What else did she say . Well, she mentioned things like unity and theme and social significance. Social significance. [sniffs] now i know im gonna cry, son. Social significance. [fred blowing nose] yeah. I think im gonna cry, too. Hes going into whos who fred sanford, you a heathen. The first time you been on your knees in the history of your miserable life and you kneel to a pagan item. Listen, esther, this aint no pagan item. Its a legacy. Thats what it is, a legacy. And i wasnti wasnt kneeling down prayin. I was workin. Ha ha ha work. Dont make me laugh. Let me tell you something, esther. Every time i see you, you make me wish that Birth Control was retroactive. Now. Whatd youwhatd you come here for to bug me anyway . I didnt wanna see your old weasel face. Whats this ugly mess . Ugly mess . Ugly mess. Whats the name of this ugly mess . I call it. Esther. Watch it, sucker. Listen, esther, i dont wanna make you mad. Because when you get mad your bottom your bottom lip look like you wearin a brown turtleneck sweater. Listen, now, let me tell you this, esther. Now, you can look at this and you can look at that, but if you look at my tower, youre gonna put 50 cents in the hat. You aint gettin no money out of me, fred sanford. Oh, no . Oh, no. Yes, i will. Oh, no, you wont. Well, then throw your hands up. Throw em up. Thats it. Throw your hands up and ill show you i get my money. You go ahead. Go ahead. Would you stop it . I give you some more if you want. Nock you out. Would you stop it . I cant leave you alone for 2 minutes without you starting trouble. Well, ill upper cut her to death. Lamont. This old heathen want me to pay him for comin in here. You oughta tip me just to look at you. Now, thats enough. Thats enough now. Lamont, will you drive me over to pastor stackhouses church . Id love to, aunt esther, but i dont have the truck. Does that mean you tellin me you loaned the truck to somebody else . No, i didnt loan the truck to somebody else. And it got towed away. Why you let the truck get towed away . Because there was no place to park it in here. Now, do you have 25 so i can go get the truck . Do mice bark . I have some money at the house i can loan you. Thanks a lot, aunt esther. I was saving to buy me a new spring outfit. Esther, dont get no spring outfit. Just get a mattress and cover your face with it. No, he makes me sick no, its all right. Aunt esther, no. No, aunt esther. Knock on the door. Smitty. Hoppy. Fred smitty. Hey, fred. We heard youre having that big sale tomorrow and we thought wed come by early and see if you had any bargains. Yeah. Yeah. Wewe thought wed kinda get the pick of the litter. Youyou get it . Junk. Litter. Now, thats funny, isnt it . You have to admit. Well, uh, well, maybe it isnt. Uh, now, whats on your mind . Say, uh, what is that . Well, itssome people might say its junk and some might say itsits art. Some might say its a legacy. Well, put me down for the one that might say its junk. Listen, what can i do for you fellows . Well, uh, mr. Sanford, youve been chosen mr. Swinging single . Well, it was close between me and sergeant cominsky, but then, you know, he had to step down because he moved in with his mom. Anyway, i was looking for a few knickknacks, you know, a few objects de chitchat to decorate my new apartment and, uh, price is no object. Oh, well, maybe youd like to pick a few things from over here in this stack. I got some nice stuff here. Say, thats interesting, that old brass boiler. No, no. I said pick some stuff from over here. Not from over there. Hey, that boiler is great. I could make a planter out of that. The perfect thing to artistically set off my connect the dots painting of police chief davis. Ok. Now, ill give you 25 bucks for it. No. 35. Not for sale. Ill go 45. Absolutely not. I gotta have that boiler. Uh, 50 bucks. Ill go 50 bucks. Lamont sold to the man in the blue uniform for 50. No. It is not for sale. But we bought this stuff for the sale. Son, this is not stuff. This is. Dont give me that labor of love stuff. I got thisthis hey, wait a minute, lamont. The sale is 2 days away. Hold it. Hold it. Hey. And now you try to tell me this stuff. You dont scream at me. Im your father. Fred, lamont, look, why dont we come back when you get this all settled, man . Yeah. You get together and, you know, knock to each other and no, hold thats rap to each other. Yeah. Rap to each other. Justjust be honest, you know, let it all hang off. Hang out. Hang out. Hang out. Right. And, uh, so long. Is so long right . Just get in the car. Get in the car hey, look. Look at it, son. So stately. So majestic. Get off of there, pigeon get off of there all of you. Shoo wait a minute. Wait a minute, pop. Now, this. Tower of yours is costing us a fortune, man. [telephone rings] all right. Ill be right back, now. Ok, son. Ill be up here. Hello, mr. Sanford. Oh, hi, honey. I was in the neighborhood, so i thought id drop by. Is lamont home . Yeah. Hes inside. Say, listen. What you think of it now . Well, frankly, mr. Sanford, my opinion hasnt changed very much. Really . Really. I thought youd taken it down by now. Taken it down . Why should i take down something shocking and incredible and a piece of socially significant theme art . Nt said that you said. And because you said that, thats why im not gonna charge you a regular admission. This ones on me. Mr. Sanford, im afraid theres been some mistake. Yes, it is because it turned out a lot better than you thought it was, didnt it . Now, listen, tell me everything that you told lamont word for word. Mr. Sanford, i believe you better sit down. I know i owe you, rollo. I owe the bank, i owe you, i owe aunt esther. I dont print the money, you know. I know you do. [crash] hey. Hey, rollo, im gonna have to call you back. All right . Ok. Hey, pop. Yeah. Whatwhat happened, man . Whatd you do . I threw it down cause sandra was by here and told me everything. Hey, im sorry, man. Yeah, im sorry, too, son. No, im really sorry. I mean about your legacy and all. Oh, that aint nothin. Listen, son. After talking with sandra, then i realized that i already got a legacy. The best in the world. You. Me . Yeah. I got a son that loves me so much, hes even afraid of hurtin my feelings by telling me my art is junk. Hey, man. And get their brass boiler if you want to. And tell them your father has been a fool. Youre not a fool. Youre my pop. I love you, man. Youre a groovy old dude. Yeah. From now on ill leave all the artwork to you. You know what . I just might do something artistic. As a matter of fact, i might paint a portrait, if you would pose for me. You want me to pose for you . Would you . Sure. Ill pose for you if we could pose right out here in front of mymy my tower. Sure. Here. Give me a hand with this. [car pulling up] hey, pop. Hi, son. Hey, man. That sale turned out great, didnt it . We made enough money to pay the bank off and plus we made 300. How about that . Le present i bought you to show you how much i love you. For me . Uhhuh. Go ahead take the cover off of it. Oh, wow. Pop, thats beautiful man. How can i think you . Well, you can thank me by start paintin my portrait right now. All right. I tell you what. You go out in the yard and get ready and ill bring the paint and the easel out there and ill paint you. All right . Ok. Ill be ready in a minute. Now, come on out. All right. Ill be right out here in the front. Captioning made possible by Sony Pictures television . Good times . . Anytime you need a payment . . Good times . . Anytime you need a friend . . Good times . . Anytime youre out from under . . Not getting hassled, not getting hustled . . Keeping your head above water . . Making a wave when you can . . Temporary layoffs . . Good times . . Easy credit ripoffs . . Scratching and surviving . . Good times . . Hanging in a chow line . . Good times . . Aint we lucky we got em .