Im in no condition physically to be hosting anything other than a virus right now. Last night i hosted the emmys. And its weird [ cheers and applause ] weird to come back and do a regular show after doing a big thing like that. And nothing against you guys. But the audience last night was dressed much, much better. [ laughter ] there were no crocs. I didnt see anyones toes we went to bed very late last night. Last night i went to bed, also at the time it happened to be babe ruths career batting average, 3 42 was the time i went to bed. There was a party after the show so we stayed at a hotel but it had to be at work in the morning. Before bed i called down and i ask the for a wakeup call which is terrible, you have to find the phone, theres no snooze button. The phone rings, i pick it up. A chipper woman says, good morning, this is your wakeup call for 8 00. As im hanging up the phone im thinking, if it really is her pleasure to wake people up over and over again every day . Kind of a sick woman, right . [ laughter ] that said, if i was the person who made the wakeup calls at the hotel, id tape record every one of them. [ laughter ] guillermo, you might have to take over tonight. How late were you up last night . Guillermo 2 00 in the morning. Jimmy 2 00 in the morning. You left the party at what time . I left maybe like 1 45. [ laughter ] no, i mean 2 something. Jimmy okay. Guillermo im still drunk. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have to get our own mugs by the way. I still have the view mug, i mean really. I wanted to do something to get the crowd warmed up before the show so i invited three of the kids from the show Stranger Things, the netflix show, to onstage and sing to get things going. Somebody had to introduce them so i asked guillermo, go onstage, get everybody to quiet down, say here are the kids from Stranger Things doing the song uptown funk. This is behind the scenes video of how that went. How everybody, how you guys doing . Are you guys ready for the show . All right, guys. So shh keep it quiet. Stay in your seat, all right . Come on everybody. Get in your seat. Hi, eric. Hi, how you doing . All right. Shh, keep it quiet, everybody. Please get in your seat, please. Okay. Shh, everybody. Please. Get in your seat, everybody. As soon as possible. The show is about to start. Please. Please, everybody. All right. All right, the show is about to start. But before it start, here are funk. Uptown funk. Lets watch and enjoy the show, kids [ cheers and applause ] jimmy he really knows how to clean out a room. Your wife came, did your wife have fun . Guillermo a lot of fun. Jimmy everybody had fun. It was much less stressful. This is my second time hosting the emmys. First time i was so nervous and excited, it went by like that. Last night i wore two condoms d [ laughter ] heres whats fun about the emmys. Last night i walked into this dinner after the show. The first thing i see is mr. Belding talking to charo. If you dont know who those people are, google them, you wont be disappointed. If you didnt watch the show, watching the football game, reliving the jonbenet case, the big winner was o. J. O. J. Had his best season [ cheers and applause ] took home nine emmy awards. Best actor, actress, supporting actor, writing, best limited series. Even the ford bronco won best midsized Sport Utility vehicle. [ cheers and applause ] game of thrones had a good night. Won best drama, set the record for most emmys won by a series ever, 38 emmys. A bunch of the actors from game of thrones came to our party last night. I have to admit i got a little nervous. On game of thrones, when they have a party, people have a tendency to die violently. [ laughter ] nobody died. The most fun moment of the emmys for me was, this was something ive been planning for a couple of weeks. We were in a commercial break. We came back from commercial. I thought it would be funny to say, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome fourtime Emmy Award Winner dr. Bill cosby. Just to see what would happen. Well, heres what happened. Announcer ladies and gentlemen, fourtime emmy award jimmy thats what i was thinking might happen. [ cheers and applause ] you know, these award shows are long. With traffic it can take i think it took an hour and a half for a lot of the people to get there, an hour to get in with the red carpet, the show is three hours long and theres no food. You dont eat for five or six hours. I had my mom make Peanut Butter and jelly sandwiches for everyone, not as a joke, for sustenance, i knew people would be psyched. We give out the peanut br during the commercial break you hear an announcement that says, we are about to serve Peanut Butter sandwiches. If you have an allergy to peanuts please avoid the sandwiches. Right. If youre allergic to peanuts, do not have peanuts. I dont know, im all for safety first, but if you cant figure that out for yourself . You might have bigger problems than being allergic to Peanut Butter. You remember the naked supermodel who danced around in the blurred lines video . She apparently did not appreciate my mothers cooking. Do you want to try any of the Peanut Butter and jelly sandwiches . I had one too many bites. You did . I had two which i poorly made . Yeah. Jimmy how dare you attack my mothers cooking. [ audience booing ] its called food, maybe you should try some sometime. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] now im in a food feud with emily ratatouille or whatever her name is. Im currently in a number of feuds. Matt damon, who tried to ruin the show last night. Maggie smith, who is on the show downton abbey. She wins the emmy almost every year, she never shows up to get it. I called her out. I told her if she wanted it, id leave it in the lost and found at the theater. She responded today on twitter. She wrote, i was very astonished and pleased to win the award. I feel the emmys have been overly generous to me. Office i will try to be on the next flight. Love old maggie, she wrote. Well, i guess we can send it to her. [ cheers and applause ] we have a couple of real live emmy winners here on the program tonight. From the great new show designated survivor, Kiefer Sutherland is here. [ cheers and applause ] from last week tonight on hbo, john won the emmy for best talk show last night. In a way john and i both won the emmy for best talk show last night. In another more specific way only john won the emmy. Well find out what john and kiefer and everybody did after, no detail will be held back, dont worry. The iphone 7 came out friday which is a big deal and not just here in the United States. In fact, there was quite a bit of pomp and circumstance in [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy well, more circumstance than pomp but you understand. I have some sad news to report. If youre hoping to pick up one of those olive garden neverending pasta passes, theyre all sold out. All 21,000 passes priced at 100 apiece sold out in one second. And theyre now being resold on ebay for as much as 4,500 each. You know, if you buy this, you really should be kicked off your Company Health care plan. [ laughter ] the deal, if you dont know, you can eat all the pasta you want for a period of seven weeks. If you dont last the full seven weeks theyll dump the remainder of the pasta into your coffin and seal you up. By the way, if olive garden really treated people like family, they wouldnt charge them for food at all. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Hey, donald trump is still running for president. Even after all the jokes last night, Donald Trumps still running. Slow donald down to half speed to really be able to savor his message. Weve done it again in tonights zika virus edition of drunk donald trump. [ tape playing very slowly ] i see a mosquito. Right now i dont like mosquitos too much. Get out of here, you mosquito. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy back t because im very selfabsorbed. We made a video that aired at start of the emmys involving actors from a number of nominated shows and also former republican candidate for president jeb bush made he was great, very high energy by the way. And of course when youre acting you dont always get it right on the first take. Here now are some of the many times we didnt get it right. I hate to call them bloopers because i think dick clark owns that word. Here are the boners and booboos from last nights open at the were so pleased that youre hosting tonights academy awards. The emmys. The emmys, oh. Jimmy thats for the blooper reel. Let me out right here. Pull over. Okay, juice. My button just popped. My stomach is out. [ bleep ]. Sorry. Hey, jimmy, im joking. Get out of this car. Youre supposed to leave. Arent you . Its jimmy kimmel. I think were about to make out. Huh . Got a smoke . Oh didnt go off. Dont do it again oh shave that wig. Shave that wig off your face, you godless, shameless, stinking hippie . Wake me up before you gogo . . Dont want to listen . I forgot to sing. . Want to hear that high . . Yeah, yeah . I need to go to the hospital. Jeb exclamation point want to do it again . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey, look at this. John popper is here with us, everybody. When we come back, guillermo has all the emmy winners so come back, well be right back. Hahaha umhmmm hey nikki what are you doing here . You tell me, stephen. What . Im snapping. Youve been streaming my videos all morning. Now youre with this thing . Limit my data. I had to choose. Come on, girl. Lets get us a man with unlimited data. Why pay verizon more for data limits . Introducing tmobile one. One price. Unlimited data for everyone. Hold onto your forks. Endless shrimp is back at red lobster. That means you get to try as much as you want. Of whatever flavors are calling your name. Seriously. A little sizzle. And a lot just right. And try new parmesan peppercorn shrimp. Helloooo crispy goodness. And the classic. Handcrafted shrimp scampi. You cant get enough of . Still gonna floor you. It may be called endless. But that doesnt mean itll last. vo maybe it was here, when you hit 300,000 miles. Or here, when you walked away without a scratch. Maybe it was the day your baby came home. Every subaru is built to earn your trust. Because we know what youre trusting us with. Subaru. Kelley blue books most trusted brand. And best overall brand. Love. Just like mom, you have dinner on the table at 6 00 every night. Hey guys, im home of course no one said it had to be cooked. Campbells one dish recipes, designed around one pan and your schedule. Made for real, real life. We are a military family. They travel a lot. Every four years when we got restationed you think its going to be the biggest change in your life but theres always more changes to come. 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Priorities usa action is responsible for the content of this advertising. Narrator over and over its been their agenda anything to defund planned parenthood. Kelly ayotte and Washington Republicans theyre on a crusade to Block ServicesNew Hampshire women and families depend on cancer screenings, birth control, basic womens healthcare. Kelly ayotte and Washington Republicans have put Defunding Planned Parenthood at the top of their agenda. And its time for that to change. Im Maggie Hassan and i approve this message. . Jimmy thats john popper. Still to come, Kiefer Sutherland, john oliver, music from die antwoord. I hope you watched the emmys. Most of tvs big stars were on hand and guillermo was back stage to get to know the nights winners the way no one else does. Not face to face. Back to back. How are you . Im great, how are you doing . Congratulations on your emmy. The real question. Just pull the red thing. Right there. Then you spin the wheel. Then you tell me where it landed and thats the question im going to ask you. Helmets. How many helmets do you have . I have one helmet. No, i have two helmets. I just bought a new helmet. Oh, okay. Are you wearing high heels . I am. Unfortunately, yes. Do your feet hurt . Do i fit who . Your feet. My feet hurt, yeah. Oh my god. I have something for you. So they can match your emmys. Oh, yes, thank you. In my size as well. Mens 8. Womens 10, perfect. I cant wait to put them on currently right now. Fits like a glove. I hear you do a lot of voices. I do. Yeah, can you do one impression of me . A good voice of guillermo . A voice of guillermo . Like this . Its kind of good, right . It sounds kind of like you. You think people would know the thanks a lot. Yeah. You want to play a game with me . Sure. I have the wheel of questions. Just pull the red thing right there. And spin the wheel. Okay. Then when you land, thats the question im going to ask you. Okay. Its landed on money. On money . Do you like money . I love money. How much money do you have . Not a lot. Not a lot . Ha ha ha me neither, ha ha ha you like margarita . We do like a margarita. Whos going to go first . Jordan . Do you want me to go first . Are you sure theres margarita inside of this . Its margarita, i swear, drink it. All right, ready . Do you want me to do it . I want you to do it. Its grossing me out. Mm, mm thats a cadillac. Thats a cadillac margarita. Grand marnier, thats good. Now let him do it. Hes doing it. Hes got it, hes doing it. No, suck it, i dont feel it. I made something just for you. Just for your mom. Okay . For my mom . For your mouth. For my mouth . Your mouth only. Only for my mouth . Hold on. Hold on . Bring it. Its the longest ive ever waited for something to come into my mouth. Ready . Yeah. Now, ready, suck it. Are you going to spit in this . Suck it . I mean drink it, sorry. Uc im going to suck it. More. Mm no, look, its not moving. More i havent sucked this hard in a long time. You know what, i think me and you can do this all night. Yeah. We really could. I dont have anywhere else to be. Me neither. Okay, great. How strong are you . Not strong at all. Like how im an english person, i dont have much in the way of a if you open this pickle jar, this jar of pickles youre giving me the Hillary Clinton test . Yeah. Yeah . Uhhuh. Can i open it . Ill see. Youve got to my hands are very greasy. Oh my god. Oh no. I cant open it. You won tonight . Its not strength based, is it, comedy. Its almost the opposite of that. It rewards the weak. Can i give you some emmy juice . Whats emmy juice . Tequila. Oh, yeah, yeah. All right, here. Emmy juice. Mr. Robert. Thank you. Hey, remember when i was on jimmys show and you said, you whispered in my ear, i think youre going to win the emmy . Yeah. Then it happened. It happened. Cheers, guillermo. Cheers. I love you too. Can i give you a head massage . Yeah. Its cool, youre going to like it. Oh my god, you left. You want to play the wheel of questions . Yeah, lets do it. Pull the red thing over there. Okay. All right. Then spin it and it land and you tell me and i ask you that question. Hair. No, soup. Do you like soup . I love soup. Whats your favorite soup . Chicken soup with rice. Mine is clam chowder. Red or white . White. Eww. Cant do it. Thank you very much. Nothing . Nothing. What a cheapass. Did you say cheapass . No, i said congratulations on your emmy. [ laughter ] jimmy weve all had too much to drink. Thank you, guillermo. Tonight on the show, music from die antwoord, i john oliver is here, john popper is here, be right back [ cheers and applause ] . At mercedesbenz, we make every vehicle to be eyecatchingly beautiful. We make them to be exhilaratingly agile. And for the cla we also made it. For this. . The 2017 cla. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. [ . Diggy . By spencer ludwig] scalpel. I have no idea what im doing. Im just a tv doctor. I never went to college. scream i dont do blood. But now, thanks to cigna, is that a foot . We are the tv doctors of america. And were partnering with cigna to help save lives. By getting you to a real doctor for an annual checkup. So go, know, and take control of your health. Doctor poses. Cigna. Together, all the way. [ . Diggy . By spencer ludwig] Colin Van Ostern i know from my own life the difference a College Education can make. Narrator Colin Van Ostern. The son of a single mom, he went to college on student loans, red Million Dollars in revenue. Then, a Top Executive at southern New Hampshire universitys college for america. Colin van ostern most of our students graduate debt free. Cutting student debt should be our goal for all state colleges to create good jobs, and keep our young families here. Vo kelly ayotte says shes on our side, but on our rights, shes squarely with Donald Trump Trump planned parenthood should absolutely be defunded. And both oppose our right to safe and legal abortion. Ayotte i certainly think that roe should be overturned. Trump . There has to be some form of punishment. Matthews for the woman . Trump yeah, there has to be some form. Vo ayotte and trump wrong for New Hampshire women. Senate majority pac is responsible for the . Jimmy great, john popper sitting in with the cletones. He wrote a book called suck and blow and other stories im thought supposed to tell. Salesmanship. Jimmy its the story where you came to my house to watch football and rowdy rob piper put my friend in the sleeper hole i believe thats in there, a really good story. Yes, ive never seen a live show. Jimmy later on this evening, hes the host of last week tonight for which he won an emmy, the very funny john oliver is here. [ cheers and applause ] then all the way from johannesburg. These guys are something to see. Their new album is die antwoord from the samsung stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, Denzel Washington will be here. Music from usher. Later this week lupita new wong go, bill oreilly, music from jake owen, please join us for all of that. Emmy and golden globe winning actor, jack barr striking fear into tv terrorists, he played president tom kirkman in the new show designated survivor. Mr. President . Excuse me but i believe you have we have moved no such destroyers into the strait of hormuz. My Defense Department has war gamed this out. Theyre waiting for me to give them the green light which i assure you i will do unless you pull your destroyers back within the next three hours. Mr. President mr. Ambassador, you may not know much about me. What you should know is im about as straight a shooter as youre going to find in washington. You should believe me when i tell you that i do not want, as my first act as commander in jimmy designated survivor premieres wednesday night at 10 00 on abc. Please welcome Kiefer Sutherland [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy very president ial. We have hoodies. This is my bid to become your new sidekick. I dont want to take anything away from guillermo. Jimmy i can become your tv Vice President , maybe thats my only option here. [ cheers and applause ] you make the grade. Jimmy i saw your pilot its great. The show is really, really great. Thank you so much. Jimmy are you happy with it . Did you enjoy it . Im happy with it to the degree that i know what i did. But i dont normally watch the stuff i film. Jimmy you dont like to watch yourself . No, ive managed to make 216 episodes of 24 and i dont think ive watched a single one of them. Jimmy they were really good, you would like them. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thanks. Thank you. Jimmy wow. I dont watch them for two reasons. Theres not much i can do after the fact. Jimmy right. And when i was very young, i went to a cast and crew screening of a film i did called stand by me. Jimmy right, yes. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very, very much. Great movie. And my girlfriend at the time and i was absolutely horrified by what i had done in the movie. And i remember leaning over to her saying, if i dont get a job before this comes out, its over. And she said, no, no, i think it was really good. And i remember snapping, dont patronize me jimmy wow. Then it was the biggest hit of the summer and it changed my life. So i figured maybe i shouldnt watch the stuff i do. Jimmy youre very critical of yourself. Do you watch other people and think, that guy was good, this woman was good . I write people off left, right and center. Jimmy i see. [ laughter ] explain the premise of the show. It is a great premise. Designated survivor. In the constitution there is an article that each party has to set someone aside at any state of the union or gathering of the full government in case of a catastrophe, whether it be a natural disaster, a fire. And that the line of succession for the presidency would be protected. Jimmy that person sits in a room . Surrounded by the fbi. Jimmy right. And secret service. And its viewed i think today as punishment. If the acting president doesnt want you in the room or something, they make you do that. Jimmy timeout for politicians. Kind of a timeout for a politician. And my character was about to be fired. And was kind of sent away to this room. And a terrorist attack happens and everybody in the Capitol Building was killed. And he becomes president overnight. Jimmy hes so excited when hees i finally did it no, hes probably the most reluctant president youll see. But i think he has a real belief in his service to the country. Jimmy its a great character. Its really good. And your daughter, which is i love the show veep on hbo. Me too. Jimmy which was a winner last night. Your daughter plays the daughter of Julia Louisdreyfus character on that show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy any possibility of a crossover familywise there . Jimmy that might be fun. Maybe it will be a christmas special. Jimmy the show is set in washington, d. C. , you shoot in toronto. You were born in toronto . No, i was born in england but grew up in toronto, with my mom, and i have a twin sister. Jimmy does your twin still live in toronto . She does. Jimmy you guys have that bond where you know if one of you stubbed your toe no, we dont, no. We dont have the telepathic thing. Jimmy you dont have that . No. Jimmy thats a bummer, why even have a twin . [ laughter ] ill tell her you said that. Shes not going to like you. Jimmy she already knows. [ laughter ] im looking forward to the show. I think its going to be a big hit. Designated survivor. It premieres wednesday night. Kiefer sutherland, everybody n right whack with john oliver [ cheers and applause ] . The microsoft cloud helps us stay connected. The microsoft cloud offers customers get up and running, anywhere in the planet. 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Kelly ayotte voted to block consumers from buying safe medicines from canada. And voted against lower cost generic drugs. Kelly ayotte gets all that money from the big drug industry. Hundreds of thousands of dollars in campaign contributions. Dscc is responsible for the content of this advertising. When i first found out that carl had been using heroin on and off for a year. I immediately thought not my son. I found him in his bathroom with a syringe still in his hand and that was the worst day of my life. Annie kuster is leading the fight regarding this opioid epidemic. Shes trying to do everything she can to get laws changed. So this doesnt happen again. Shes definitely a leader. Im annie kuster and i approved this message. . Jimmy our next guest is a very bright and funny man who came to this country to explain how it works. He won an emmy for last week tonight which returns sunday to hbo. Please welcome john oliver [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you seem so far away. Its likco it. So shiny, so near and yet so practically very, very far. Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] not just practically either. Congratulations. It pains me to say it but you definitely deserve it. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you. Ive got to say your show was absolutely excellent too. It really is. You do a great job. Jimmy thank you very much. I appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] very fine of you to say. Im just so happy to be thats the honor. Jimmy can i just say that i dont think you really mean that. [ laughter ] i feel like you dont. Yes, i do. Jimmy no, you dont. You dont. Why do you say that . Jimmy well, i just because youre reading it from cue cards. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy youre reading off of cue cards which makes it feel less, i dont know, spontaneous. No, im not. Jimmy you see, you are. It says no, im not right there on the card. No, jimmy. Im serious, i would not be where i am today without the pioneering efforts of shows like yours. [ cheers and applause ] right . Jimmy its still, also from the card. I dont know whats happening, i have never been more sincere in my entire life. Jimmy i feel like you probably have, though. Okay, okay, okay, ill prove i will cover my eyes. Okay . Jimmy okay. I watch Jimmy Kimmel Live every night and i think its terrific. There. Jimmy all right. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy whats on your hand there . Nothing. Jimmy wait a minute, this is written on your hand [ cheers and applause ] youre reading that off your hand. Yes, it is written on my hand. But it is a permanent tattoo. That is how much i love you, jimmy jimmy wow. Ive inked my truth on my palm jimmy why dont we take a break and really express our love. Sure. [ cheers and applause ] . This is the story of falls biggest fan. Autumn was born on the first day of fall. And from an early age she learned to love the season. Was she expecting to find the perfect designer boots at such an amazing price . 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It cools on contact, and also keeps you 100 flake free. Try head shoulders instant relief. Mm, devour, say my name im talking to you, creamy white cheddar mac cheese with bacon. Can you feel it . You like that dont you . You taste so creamy. Did you just spank your lunch . Yes. Nice. Food you want to fork. Narrator over and over its been their agenda anything to defund planned parenthood. Kelly ayotte and Washington Republicans voted 6 different times to defund planned parenthood. Theyre on a crusade to Block ServicesNew Hampshire women and families depend on cancer screenings, birth control, basic womens healthcare. Kelly ayotte and Washington Republicans have put Defunding Planned Parenthood and its time for that to change. Im Maggie Hassan and i approve this message. . Jimmy were back. John oliver who won an emmy last night. You think guillermo wont snatch that . Youre very, very wrong. I knew you were going to win, did you know you were going to win . I anticipate disaster every day. No, absolutely also, they were doing the reading of the nominees. All the cameras left where i was to go to the middle. So i thought, its someone in the middle has won. Jimmy you did . I didnt get to do my loser face or happy face. I didnt get to do it, i was invisible. Jimmy did you practice it . Yeah, i just kind of what the [ bleep ] . [ laughter ] but either way. That was my reaction, good or bad. Speech, instead of talking and talking and thanking everyone youve ever met, you actually asked the band to play you off, which i dont think ive ever seen anyone do. Yeah, you see when youre a little kid at awards shows, all i wanted was to be played off. That seems like the fun bit. Its when things get tense. I just wanted that to come as quickly as possible. Eventually i have to say say hit it and they hit it. Jimmy its bad to forget people, its even worse when you i thanked everyone i should have thanked and two people i shouldnt have done. Jimmy oh, really. Yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy at the show or afterwards was there anybody you were particularly excited to meet . Hugh laurie. Jimmy really . I know to americans hes house. Ive not seen house. In england he was part of pioneering comedy sketch frey and laurie. Stephen fry. A key part of my childhood. Meeting him was my dream. Jimmy you never met him before . No, ive never met anyone. [ laughter ] jimmy thats true, youre in new york. I live in new york, i meet people on the street and horses. Sad horses. Thats it. Jimmy and do the i would imagine that when youre in an environment like that you get a lot of praise from celebrities and for your work. Your show not only is funny, it really is an educational show, because you teach us about things we should know about. Its embarrassing in a way to have someone come over here and explain how things like health [ laughter ] the only disappointing thing last night, other than the fact that you were amazing [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you. You were so good. Very funny. Heres the thing. I was under the understanding beyonce was going to be there. Jimmy she was supposed to be there. Not just there, i was supposed to be right there, two seats in front of me. . Jimmy youre right, right there in front of you. Head. Four hours, watching her interact with her immediate environment. Jimmy i was thinking about when i was going to do, what i was going to say. With beyonce you have to talk to her, acknowledge her presence. The queen. You curtsy. Jimmy its better than the queen, dont compare beyonce to your little queen. [ laughter ] youre right. Technically i should be offended but its biological fact. In every measuring way, she is better than the queen. Looks better, sounds better, wears jewelry better. Well, there is junk in the trunk. [ laughter ] jimmy in england is the emmys a big thing . Are your family and friends excited . No, no one knows who i am. I failed in england, no one knows who i am there. Jimmy is that true . Im guessing the coverage is going to be, whos that . Isnt that the guy we all agreed was bad . Whats wrong with the United States . Its going to be mystifying. Jimmy wow, thats something else. They know james corden, i failed my way to america. [ laughter ] jimmy wow. So the show comes back on sunday. Sunday. Jimmy you have a new show. You have to start working. Have you started working on it yet . No, we have some ideas. We flew our entire staff. Jimmy i noticed your staff was the loudest, drunkest group of people at the emmys. Like a soccer hooligan group. Most of them hadnt been to california before so they went at it hard. When the nominations came out they were cheering when our show was mentioned. The guy next to me said, wow, your shows really popular. I said, its not, we employ all of them. Thats my entire staff. Jimmy wow. Will you consider the olive garden neverending pasta bowl as a subject . It seems like thats right up your alley. Does it end, though . Lets take this to its logical conclusion, human death. Jimmy youre right, it says neverending but its only seven technically you could sue them probably. It takes a Morgan Spurlock with the courage of his convictions to say, im going to eat this till i die to prove a point. One of us is going to blink. Jimmy its very good to have you here. Congratulations on the emmy. John oliver, last week tonight on hbo. Be right back with die antwoord [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by samsung. Pam griffin our daughter courtney got caught in a web of opiate and heroin addiction. Doug griffin our Insurance Company indicated that courtneys problem wasnt a matter of life and death pam griffin she told me that she didnt want to live like this anymore. She begged. She begged for help, saying mom please help me. Doug griffin our familys tragedy could happen to any family. Pam griffin we knew we had to save other families from losing their children. Kelly reached out to us. Doug griffin she came to my family to learn more. Pam griffin she listened to what we had to say, who we were she cared about us. She didnt know us. Doug Griffin Kelly coauthored the comprehensive addiction and recovery act this act will save kids lives. And enable families to get the help they need. Doug griffin we dont want courtney to be remembered for her substance abuse, but rather for her struggle to achieve recovery. Pam Griffin Kelly believes recovery is possible. Kelly im kelly ayotte and i approved this message. Colin van ostern i know from my own life the difference a College Education can make. Narrator Colin Van Ostern. The son of a single mom, he went to college on student loans, a hundred Million Dollars in revenue. Then, a Top Executive at southern New Hampshire universitys college for america. Colin van ostern most of our students graduate debt free. Cutting student debt should be our goal for all state colleges to create good jobs, and keep our young families here. Presented by samsung. I want to thank Kiefer Sutherland, john popper, john oliver, apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. Nightline is next but first they are not breaking up, this is their album, here with the song banana brain, die antwoord . . . . . . . . . . Baby girl you so fine . . So so fine you blow my mind . . Look at you coochiekoo juicy tooshie gooshiegoo boobie one boobie two . . Bouncing like a looney toon booty booming cookie juice . You so cute like peekachoo like peekaboo now every time i think of you not by my side i dry my eye . . I just want to sing lullabies to my little butterfly banana brains . . You the apple of my eye stay with me tonight cus im having the best time of my life turn it up . . Banana brains you the apple of my eye stay with me tonight cus . Best time of my life banana brains you the apple of my eye stay with me tonight . . Cus im having the best time of my life . . Baby boy you so cool how can i stay mad at you . . I love you and thats the truth you so silly you so stoopid you the best . . I never want you to stress everything gunna be cool wait and see just hold my hand and stay with me . . Baby girl you been there for me through thick and thin with cool energy . . You care for me and defended me help me defeat my enemies life is weird . . It keeps testing me no other girl in the world impressing me like you do your . . Voodoo fresh to me i just wanna be giving you the best of me everything is meant to be . . You were sent to me you and me got wild destiny you like a lil angel never pressure me . . Everything you do is so zef to friends with me . . I just wanna treat your heart carefully cus everyday i feel blessed to be . . The one with you chilling right next to me banana brains you the apple of my eye . . Stay with me tonight cus im having the best time of my life banana brains . . You the apple of my eye stay with me tonight cus im having the best time of my life . . Stay with me tonight stay with me tonight stay with me tonight cus im having . . The best time of my life i love your energy i love it that you there for me . . Everything is meant to be baby . . . sexy boyz fancy boyz play boyz bad boyz . . i fink u freeky and i like u a lot i fink u freeky and i like u a lot . . i fink u freeky and i like u a lot i fink u freeky and i like u a lot . . . . i fink u freeky and i like fink u freeky and i like u a lot . . . Left home locked in my zef zone ready 4 da test yo what da heck i guess so hit da overseas everybodyz headz get blown get everyfing 4 free like dr dre beats headphones . . When i get home i lounge on my zef throne make my mummy happy coz i get so paid making my money rapping over techno rave i can take u round da world lets go babe . . When i step up and do my thing i put u in a trance my zefside click got it going on i dont care what u think i do what i want i can make a million little jump . . Jump jump jump l. A. Jump . . Jump jump jump l. A. Jump . . i fink u freeky and i like u a lot . This is nightline. Tonight dont shoot him the dramatic cell phone video from showing the moments before and after police in charlotte, north carolina, fatally shot her husband. What these graphic images t dividing a community and striking a nerve across america. Plus secret rituals. Welcome to hell week the new movie that takes a brutal look at fraternity hazing. Drink we sit down with the star nick jonas. In real life hazing can and does kill. Can this film be used to put an end to it . Make me scared