Im in no condition physically to be hosting anything other than a virus right now. Last night i hosted the emmys. And its weird [ cheers and applause ] weird to come back and do a regular show after doing a big thing like that. And nothing against you guys. But the audience last night was dressed much, much better. [ laughter ] there were no crocs. I didnt see anyones toes or anything. We went to bed very late last night. Last night i went to bed, also at the time it happened to be babe ruths career batting average, 3 42 was the time i went to bed. There was a party after the show so we stayed at a hotel but it happened to be a work morning. I ask the for a wakeup call which is terrible, you have to find the phone, theres no snooze button. The phone rings, i pick it up. A chipper woman says, good call for 8 00. I said, thank you. She said, its my pleasure. As im hanging up the phone im thinking, if it really is her pleasure to wake people up over and over again every day . Kind of a sick woman, right . [ laughter ] that said, if i was the person who made the wakeup calls at the hotel, id tape record every one of them. [ laughter ] guillermo, you might have to take over tonight. How late were you up last night . Guillermo 2 00 in the morning. Jimmy 2 00 in the morning. You left the party at what . I left maybe like 1 45. [ laughter ] no, i mean 2 something. Jimmy okay. Guillermo im still drunk. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have to get our own mugs by the way. I still have the view mug, i mean really. I wanted to do something to get the crowd warmed up before the show so i invited three of the things, the netflix show, to sing. I figured id have them go onstage and sing to get things going. Somebody had to introduce them so i asked guillermo, go onstage, get everybody to quiet down, say here are the kids from Stranger Things doing the song uptown fuchk. This is behind the scenes video of how that went. How everybody, how you guys doing . Are you guys ready for the show . All right, guys. Keep it quiet. Stay in your seat, get in your seat. Hi, eric. Hi, how you doing . All right. Shh, keep it quiet, everybody. Please get in your seat, please. Okay. Shh, everybody. Please. Get in your seat, everybody. As soon as possible. The show is about to start. Please. Please, everybody. All right. Start. But before it start, here are the kids from the Stranger Things. Theyre going to sing, theyre going to perform for us the funk. Uptown funk. Lets watch and enjoy the show, kids [ cheers and applause ] jimmy he really knows how to clean up a room. Your wife came, did your wife have fun . Guillermo a lot of fun. Jimmy everybody had fun. It was much less stressful. This is my second time hosting the excited, it went by like that. Last night i wore two condoms and it worked like a charm. [ laughter ] heres whats fun about the emmys. Last night i walked into this dinner after the show. The first thing i see is mr. Belding talking to charo. If you dont know who those people are, google them, you wont be disappointed. If you didnt watch the show, reliving the jonbenet case, the [ cheers and applause ] its weird for people to clap. The people versus o. J. Simpson took home nine emmy awards. Actor, supporting actor, writing, even the ford bronco won best midsized Sport Utility vehicle. [ cheers and applause ] game of thrones had a good night. Won best drama, set the record for most emmys won by a series ever, 38 emmys. A bunch of the actors from game of thrones came to our party nervous. On game of thrones, when they have a party, people have a tendency to die violently. Nobody died. The most fun moment of the emmys for me was, this was something ive been planning for a couple of weeks. We were in a commercial break. We came back from commercial. I thought it would be funny to say, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome fourtime Emmy Award Winner dr. Bill cosby. Just to see what would happen. Well, heres what happened. Jimmy thats what i was thinking might happen. [ cheers and applause ] you know, these award shows are long. With traffic it can take i think it took an hour and a half for a lot of the people to get there, an hour to get in with the red carpet, the show is three hours long and theres no food. You dont eat for five or six and jelly sandwiches for everyone, not as a joke, for sustenance, i knew people would be psyched. We give out the Peanut Butter and jelly. During the commercial break you hear an announcement that says, we are about to serve Peanut Butter sandwiches. If you have an allergy to peanuts please avoid the sandwiches. Right. If youre allergic to peanuts, do not have peanuts. I dont know, im all for safety first, but if you cant figure that out for yourself . Than being allergic to Peanut Butter. The sandwiches were a big hit. Everybody loved the sandwiches with one exception. You remember the naked supermodel who danced around in the blurred lines video . She apparently did not appreciate my mothers cooking. Do you want to try any of the Peanut Butter and jelly sandwiches . I had one too many bites. You did . Jimmy how dare you attack my mothers cooking. Its called food, maybe you should try some sometime. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats unacceptable. Now im in a food feud with emily ratatouille or whatever her name is. Im currently in a number of feuds. Matt damon, who tried to ruin the show last night. Maggie smith, who is on the show downton abbey. She wins the emmy almost every year, she never shows up to get it. I called her out. I tolder if she wanted it id she responded today on twitter. She wrote, i was very astonished and pleased to win the award. I feel the emmys have been overly generous to me. If mr. Kimmel could please direct me to the lost and found office i will try to be on the next flight. Love old maggie, she wrote. Well, i guess we can send it to her. [ cheers and applause ] we have a couple of real live emmy winners here on the program tonight. From the great new show designated survivor, Kiefer Sutherland is here. [ cheers and applause ] from last night on hbo, john olive is with us. John won the emmy for best talk show last night. In a way john and i both won the emmy for best talk show last night. In another more specific way only john won the emmy. Well find out what john and keefer and everybody did, no detail will be held back, dont worry. The iphone 7 came out friday which is a big deal and not just in fact, there was quite a bit of pomp and circumstance in denmark too. [ applause ] jimmy well, more circumstance than pomp but you understand. I have some sad news to report. If youre hoping to pick up one of those olive garden neverending pasta passes, theyre all sold out. All 21,000 passes priced at apiece sold out in one second. And theyre now being resold on ebay for as much as 4,500 each. You know, if you buy this, you really should be kicked off your Company Health care plan. [ laughter ] the deal, if you dont know, you can eat all the pasta you want for a period of seven weeks. If you dont last the full seven weeks theyll dump the remainder of the pasta into your coffin and seal you up. By the way, if olive garden really treated people like family, they wouldnt charge thank you. Hey, donald trump is still running for president. Even after all the jokes last night, Donald Trumps still running. From time to time we like to slow donald down to half speed to really be able to savor his message. Weve done it again in tonights zika virus edition of drunk donald trump. [ tape playing very slowly ] i see a mosquito. Right now i dont like mosquitos too much. Get out of here, you mosquito. Jimmy back to the emmys. Because im very soeflabsorbed. We made a video that aired at start of the emmys involving actors from a number of nominated shows and also former republican candidate for president jeb bush made he was great, very high energy by the way. And of course when youre acting here now are some of the many times we didnt get it right. I hate to call them bloopers because i think dick clark owns that word. Here are the boners and booboos from last nights open at the 68th emmys. Were so pleased that youre hosting tonights academy awards. The emmys. The emmys, oh. Jimmy thats for the blooper reel. Let me out okay us,. My button just popped. My stomach is out. [ bleep ]. Sorry. Hey, jimmy, im joking. Get out of this car. Youre supposed to leave. Arent you . Its jimmy kimmel. I think were about to make out. Huh . Oh didnt go off. Dont do it again oh this is when we die. Shave that what am i shaving . Shave that mug off your face shave that wig. Shave that wig off your face, you godless, shameless, stinking hippie . Wake me up before you gogo . I forgot to sing. . Want to hear that high . . Yeah, yeah . I need to go to the hospital. Jeb exclamation point want to do it again . [ cheers and applause ] everybody. When we come back, guillermo has all the emmy winners so come back, well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] . Stress, girl . . I got the discounts that you need . . Safe driver . . Accidentfree . . Everybody put your flaps in the air for me . . Go paperless, dont stress, girl . . I got the discounts that you need . . Safe driver . . Accidentfree . . Everybody put your flaps in the air for me . I cant lipsynch in these conditions. . Savings . . Oh, yeah . Who know it wasnt a day at the beach. Unless someone got buried. To the fullbacks. Gearheads. And those with green thumbs. To the sticky. The stinky. Even those who get a little icky. To all the beautiful mess makers, keep it up. With delta in2ition plus h2okinetic, you can. Y, i do say that, you see. Well, fantastic a lot. I study psychobiology. Im a fine arts major. Nobody really believes that i take notes this way, but they actually make sense to me. I try to balance my studying with the typical college experience. This windows pc is a life saver being able to pull up different articles to different parts of the screen is so convenient. We are one nation under god. That black and white, we are one nation indivisible. That republican and democrat, we are all americans. Id like to punch him in the face. You know what they used to do to guys like that . Theyd be carried out in a stretcher, folks. I could stand in the middle of 5th avenue and shoot for the content of this advertising. Im Hillary Clinton and i approve this message. I know more about isis then the generals do. John mccain, a war hero. Hes not a war hero, hes a war hero because he was captured. I like people that werent captured ok. Donald trump compared his sacrifices to the sacrifices of two parents who lost their son in war. How would you answer that father . What sacrifice have you made for your country . I think ive made a lot of sacrifices, built great structures. Ive had tremendous success, i think. . Jimmy still to come, kieferer sutherland, john olive, music from die antwoord. I hope you watched the emmys. Stage to get to know the nights winners the way no one else does. Not face to face. Back to back. How are you . Im grat. Congratulations on your emmy. Thank you, thats so nice. Do you want to play a game . The real question. Just pull the red thing. Right there. Then you spin the wheel. Then you tell me where it landed and thats the question im going to ask you. This. I have one helmet. No, i have two helmets. I just bought a new helmet. Oh, okay. Are you wearing high heels . I am. Unfortunately, yes. Do your feet hurt . Do i fit who . Your feet. My feet hurt, yeah. Let me see your shoes. Oh my god. I have something for you. Oh, yes, thank you. In my size as well. Mens 8. Womens 10, perfect. I cant wait to put them on i hear you do a lot of voices. I do. Yeah, can you do one impression of me . A good voice of guillermo . A voice of guillermo . Like this . Its kind of good, right . It sounds kind of like you. You think people would know the difference . Wow, youre doing such a great job. Thanks a lot. Yeah. You want to play a game with me . Sure. I have the wheel of questions. Just pull the red thing right there. And spin the then when you land, thats the question im going to ask you. Okay. Its landed on money. On money . Do you like money . I love money. How much money do you have . Not a lot. Not a lot . Ha ha ha me neither, ha ha ha you like margarita . We do like a margarita. Whos going to go first . Jordan . Are you sure theres margarita inside of this . Its margarita, i swear, its grossing me out. Mm, mm thats a cadillac. Thats a cadillac margarita. Grand marnier, thats good. Now let him do it. Hes doing it. You feel that . No, i dont feel it. You feel the suction . No, suck it, i dont feel it. I made something just for you. Just for your mom. Okay . For my mom . For your mouth. For my mouth . Your mou hold on. Hold on . Bring it. Its the longest ive ever waited for something to come into my mouth. Ready . Yeah. Now, ready, suck it. Are you going to spit in this . Suck it . I mean drink it, sorry. Suck its better. Im going to suck it. More. Mm no, look, its not moving. More you know what, i think me and you can do this all night. Yeah. I dont have anywhere else to be. Me neither. Okay, great. How strong are you . Not strong at all. Like how im an english person, i dont have much in the way of a muscle mass. I have a concave chest. Im going to give you a test. If you open this pickle jar, this jar of pickles youre giving me the Hillary Clinton test . Yeah. Yeah . Uhhuh. Can i ill see. Youve got to my hands are very greasy. Oh my god. Oh no. I cant open it. You won tonight . Its not strength based, is it, comedy. Its almost the opposite of that. It rewards the weak. Congratulations on your emmy. Thank you, baby. Can i give you some emmy juice . Whats emmy juice . Tequila. Oh, yeah, yeah. All right, here. Emmy juice. Hey, remember when i was on jimmys show and you said you whispered in my ear, i think youre going to win the emmy . Yeah. Then it happened. It happened. Cheers, guillermo. Cheers. Felicidadas. Love you, my man. I love you too. Can i give you a head massage . Yeah. Its cool, youre going to like it. Oh my god, you left. Yot questions . Yeah, lets do it. Pull the red thing over there. Okay. All right. Then spin it and it land and you tell me and i ask you that question. Hair. No, soup. Do you like soup . I love soup. Whats your favorite soup . Chicken soup with rice. Mine is clam chowder. Red or white . White. Eww. Cant do it. Thank you very much. Nothing . What a cheapass. Did you say cheapass . No, i said congratulations on your emmy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy weve all had too much to drink. Thank you, guillermo. Tonight on the show, music from die antwoord, john popper [ cheers and applause ] . Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live brought to you by pedigree. Feed the good. Oh, whoa. Oh that is amazing. crying . Your own backyard . yelling with excitement whoa, what the. laughing laughing . foot steps . crickets chirping . jet engine . heart beat . rain drops engine revving tires on wet road . Discover card. Im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. to dog give it. Sure its free for everyone. Oh well thats nice and checking your score wont hurt your credit. Oh to dog im so proud of you. Well thank you. Get your free credit scorecard at discover. Com. Vo kelly ayotte says shes on our side, but on our rights, shes squarely with Donald Trump Trump planned parenthood should absolutely be defunded. Vo ayotte agrees, voting six times to do just that defund planned parenthood. Trump . There has to be some form of punishment. Matthews for the woman . Trump yeah, there has to be some form. Vo ayotte and trump wrong for New Hampshire women. Senate majority pac is responsible for the oil wells in New Hampshire . Youd think so the way kelly ayotte voted. Ninety percent with the big oil koch brothers. She voted to give big oil more than 20 billion in tax breaks. Interests are spending millions supporting her campaign. Like the koch brothers. Kelly ayotte paid for by big oil; voting for big oil. Not working for us. Dscc is responsible for . Jimmy great, john popper sitting in with the cletones. He wrote a book called suck and blow and other stories im thought supposed to tell. Salesmanship. Jimmy its the story where you came to my house to watch football and rowdy rob piper i believe thats in there, you never know. Jimmy get this book, thats show. Jimmy later on this evening, hes the host of last week tonight for which he won an emmy, the very funny john oliver is here. All wait from johannesburg. These guys are something to see. Their new album is die antwoord from the samsung stage. Tomorrow night, Denzel Washington will be here. Minnie driver will join us. This week lupita new wong go, bill oreilly, music from jake owen, please join us for all this. Emmy and golden globe winning actor, jack barr striking fear into tv terrorists, he played president tom kirkman in the new show designated survivor. Mr. President . Excuse me but i believe you have been misinformed. Is that a fact . Into the strait of history muse. My Defense Department has war gamed this out. Theyre waiting for me to give them the green light which i assure you i will do unless you pull your destroyers back within the next three hours. Mr. President mr. Ambassador, you may not know much about me. What you should know is im about as straight a shooter as youre going to find in washington. You should believe me when i tell you that i do not want, as my first act as commander in chief, to attack iran. Jimmy designated survivor premieres wednesday night at 10 00 on abc. Please welcome Kiefer Sutherland [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy very president ial. This is my new favorite thing. Jimmy we dont have mugs but new sidekick. I dont want to take anything away from guillermo. Jimmy i can become your tv Vice President , maybe thats my only option here. [ cheers and applause ] you make the grade. Jimmy i say your pilot and its great. The show is really, really great. Thank you so much. Jimmy are you happy with it . Did you enjoy it . Im happy with it to the degree that i know what i did. But i dont normally watch the stuff i film. Jimmy you dont like to watch yourself . No, ive episodes of 24 and i dont think ive watched a single one of them. Jimmy they were really good, you would like them. [ laughter ] thanks. Thank you. Jimmy wow. I dont watch them for two reasons. Theres not much i can do after the fact. Jimmy right. And when i was very young, i went to a cast and crew screening of a film i did called stand by me. Jimmy right, yes. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very, very much. Great movie. And my girlfriend at the time and i was absolutely horrified by what i had done in the movie. And i remember leaning over to her saying, if i dont get a job before this comes out, its over. And she said, no, no, i think it was really good. And i remember snapping, dont patronize me jimmy wow. Then it was the biggest hit of the summer and the changed my life. So i figured maybe i shouldnt watch the stuff i do. Jimmy youre very critical of yourself. Do you watch other people and think, that guy was good, this woman was good . I write people off left, right and center. Jimmy i see. Explain the premise of th designated survivor. In the constitution there is an article that each party has to set someone aside at any state of the union or gathering of the full government in case of a catastrophe, whether it be a natural disaster, a fire. And that the line of succession for the presidency would be protected. Jimmy that person sits in a room . Surrounded by the fbi. Jimmy right. And secret service. And its viewed i think today as if the acting president doesnt want you in the room or something, they make you do that. Jimmy timeout for politicians. Kind of a timeout for a politician. And my character was about to be fired. And was kind of sent away to this room. And a terrorist attack happens and everybody in the Capitol Building was killed. And he becomes president overnight. Jimmy hes so excited when he comes out and everybodys dead, like yes i finally did it no, hes probably the most reluctant president youll see. But i think he has a real belief in his service to the country. Jimmy its a great character. Its really good. And your daughter, which is i love the show veep on hbo. Me too. Jimmy which was a winner last night. Your daughter plays the daughter of Julia Louisdreyfus character on that show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy any possibility of a crossover familywise there. Maybe it will be a christmas special. Jimmy the show is set in washington, d. C. , you shoot in toronto. You were born in toronto . No, i was born in england but grew up in toronto, with my mom, and i have a twin sister. Jimmy does your twin still live in toronto . She does. Jimmy you guys have that bond where you know if one of you stubbed your toe no, we dont, no. We dont have the telepathic thing. Jimmy you dont have that . No. Jimmy thats a bummer, why even have a twin . [ laughter ] ill tell her you said that. Shes not going to like you. Jimmy she already knows. [ laughter ] im looking forward to the show. I think its going to be a big hit. Designated survivor. It premieres wednesday night. Kiefer sutherland, everybody [ cheers and applause ] going to the skate park today . Maybe. You can make it grrreat kelloggs frosted flakes gives you the sweet spark to go all in and let your great out. Theyre grrreat scalpel. I have no idea what im doing. Im just a tv doctor. I never went to college. scream i dont do blood. But now, thanks to cigna, i can do more than just look the part. Is that a foot . We are the tv doctors of america. And were partnering with cigna to help save lives. So go, know, and take control of your health. Doctor poses. Cigna. Together, all the way. [ . Diggy . By spencer ludwig] [ on the road again, by Willie Nelson ] . On the road again . [ rear alert sounds ] [ music stops ] [ front assist sounds ] [ music stops ] [ girl laughs ] . On the road again . . Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway . [ beetle horn honks ] no matter which passat you choose, you get more standard features, for less than you expected. Hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just 199 a month. When it comes to healthcare, time is life. We have 18,000 people around the world. The microsoft cloud helps our entire staff stay connected and Work Together in real time to help those that need it. The ability to collaborate changes how we work. What we do together changes how we live. Music suspenseful . Artburn medications not doing its job. The food you eat during the day. Music loud mariachi band can also haunt you at night. So try nexium 24hr. Just one pill each day. Shuts down your stomachs active. Acid pumps to stop the burn of frequent heartburn. All day and night. Have we seen them before . . Narrator over and over its been their agenda anything to defund planned parenthood. Kelly ayotte and Washington Republicans voted 6 different times to defund planned parenthood. Theyre on a crusade to Block ServicesNew Hampshire women and families depend on cancer screenings, birth control, basic womens healthcare. At the top of their agenda. And its time for that to change. Im Maggie Hassan and i approve this message. . Jimmy our next guest is a very bright and funny man who came to this country to explain how it works. Tonight which returns sunday to hbo. Please welcome john oliver [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy you seem so far away. Its like i could almost touch it. So shiny, so near and yet so practically very, very far. Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] not just practically either. Congratulations. It pains me to say it but you definitely deserve it. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you. Ive got to say your show was absolutely excellent too. It really is. You do a great job. Jimmy thank you very much. I appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] nominated with so many other great shows. Thats the honor. Jimmy can i just say that i dont think you really mean that. [ laughter ] i feel like you dont. Yes, i do. Jimmy no, you dont. You dont. Why do you say that . Jimmy well, i just because youre reading it from cue cards. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy youredi less, i dont know, spontaneous. No, im not. Jimmy you see, you are. It says no, im not right there on the card. No, jimmy. Im serious, i would not be where i am today without the pioneering efforts of shows like yours. [ cheers and applause ] right . Jimmy its still, also from the card. I dont know whats happening, i have never been jimmy i feel like you probably have, though. Okay, okay, okay, ill prove it to you. I will cover my eyes. Okay . Jimmy okay. I watch Jimmy Kimmel Live every night and i think its terrific. There. Jimmy all right. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy whats on your hand there . Nothing. Jimmy wait a minute, this is written on your hand [ cheers and applause ] youre reading that off your hand. Yes, it is written on my ha that is how much i love you, jimmy jimmy wow. Ive inked my truth on my palm jimmy why dont we take a break and really express our love. Sure. [ cheers and applause ] . . I live in a nameless town . . Underneath the ugly halogen lamps . . Oh, it all went away so fast . . In a black out . . Scalpel. I have no idea what im doing. Im just a tv doctor. I never went to college. scream i can do more than just look the part. Is that a foot . We are the tv doctors of america. And were partnering with cigna to help save lives. By getting you to a real doctor for an annual checkup. So go, know, and take control of your health. Doctor poses. Cigna. Together, all the way. Woah youre not taking these. Hey, hey, hey youre not taking those. Woah, woah come with me. Youre not taking that. Youre not taking that. Youre not taking that. Mom, im taking the subaru. Dont be late. Even when were not there to keep them safe, our Subaru Outback will be. Theres only two left, you should masterpass that, now. Hey dude. I masterpassed it. She sounds cranky. She wants her fruit chews. Masterpassed. Oh jane, youre getting a ticket. Nope, its been masterpassed. Whats with this one . I masterpassed it. That was fast. Because i masterpass. I was out here smoking instead of being there for my sons winning shot. That was it for me. Thats why im quitting with nicorette. Ng formula. It starts to relieve sudden cravings fast. Every great why needs a great how. First theres sharp blades. Every great why then shielding lubrication. And cooling. Brrr. With lubrication before and after the blades. Shields and cools while you shave. Brenda willis when washington bureaucrats threatened access to mammograms, kelly ayotte stopped them. David goethel and when red tape threatened to crush New Hampshires fishing communities, kelly fought to save us. Cheryl colettilawson kellys legislation on the heroin epidemic will help save lives. Jamey french kelly reaches across the aisle to conserve our environment. Becky Stafford Kelly is so committed to our veterans and cares about our needs. At the shipyard. Kelly is one of us. Veteran shes not forgotten where shes come from. Brenda willis she cares. Dean kamen thats kelly an independent leader, fighting for New Hampshire. Kelly im kelly ayotte and i approved this message. . Jimmy were back. John oliver who won an emmy last night. I knew you were going to win, did you know you were going to win . Of course not, im british. I anticipate disaster every day. No, shull also, all the they were doing the reading of the nom knees. All the cameras left where i was to go to the middle. So i thought, its someone in the middle. Jimmy you did . I didnt get to do my loser face or happy face. I didnt get to do it, i was invisible. Jimmy did you practice it . Yeah, i just kind of what the [ bleep ] . [ laughter ] but either way. That was my reaction, good or bad. Jimmy when you made your speech, instead of talking and talking and thanking everyone youve ever met, you actually asked the band to play you off, which i dont think ive ever seen anyone do. Yeah, you see when youre a little kid at awards shows, all i wanted was to be played off. That seems like the fun bit. Its when things get tense. I just wanted that to come as say hit it and they hit it. Jimmy its bad to forget people, its even worse when you not only forget them, you intentionally ran out of time. I thanked everyone i should have thanked and two people i shouldnt have done. Jimmy oh, really. Yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy at the show or afterwards was there anybody you were particularly excited to meet . Hugh laurie. Jimmy really . I know to americans hes house. Ive not seen house. In ela pioneering comedy skr dy sketch and laurie. Jimmy you never met him before . No, ive never met anyone. [ laughter ] jimmy thats true, youre in new york. I live in new york, i meet people on the street and horses. Sad horses. Thats it. Jimmy and do the i would imagine that when youre in an environment like that you get a lot of praise from celebrities and for your work. Your show not only is funny, it because you teach us about things we should know about. Its embarrassing in a way to have someone come over here and explain how things Like Health Care work. Its less than ideal. Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] the only disappointing thing last night, other than the fact that you were amazing [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you. You were so good. Very funny. Heres the thing. I was under the understanding beyonce was going to be there. Jimmy she was supposed to be there. Not just supposed to be right there, two seats in front of me. All i was looking forward to is staring at the back of her head. Four hours, watching her interact with her immediate environment. Jimmy i was thinking about when i was going to do, what i was going to say. With beyonce you have to talk to her, acknowledge her presence. The queen. You curtsy. Jimmy its better than the queen, dont compare beyonce to your little queen. [ laughter ] youre right. Technically i should be offended in every measuring way, she is better than the queen. Looks better, sounds better, wears jewelry better. Shes better. Jimmy the queen is not booty licious at all. Well, there is junk in the trunk. [ laughter ] jimmy in england is the emmys a big thing . Are your family and friends excited . No, no one knows who i am. I failed in england, no one knows who i am there. Jimmy is that true . Im guessing the coverage is going isnt that the guy we all agreed was bad . Whats wrong with the United States . Its going to be mystifying. Jimmy wow, thats something else. They know james corden, because he had a successful career. I failed my way to america. [ laughter ] jimmy wow. So the show comes back on sunday. Sunday. Jimmy you have a new show. You have to start working. Have you started working on it yet . No, we have some ideas. We flew our entire staff. Jimmy i noticed your staff like a soccer hooligan group. Most of them hadnt been to california before so they went at it hard. They were shut up away at the top of the theater. When the nominations came out they were cheering when our show was mentioned. A guy said, wow, your shows really popular. I said, its not, we employ all of them. Thats my entire staff. Jimmy wow. Will you consider the olive garden neverending pasta bowl your alley. Does it end, though . Lets take this to its logical conclusion, human death. Jimmy youre right, it says neverending but its only seven weeks long. Technically you could sue them probably. It takes a Morgan Spurlock with the courage of his convictions to say, im going to eat this till i die to prove a point. One of us is going to blink. Jimmy its very good to have you here. Congratulations on the emmy. On hbo. Be right back with die antwoord [ cheers and applause ] . Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is . I want to thank Kiefer Sutherland, john popper, john oliver, apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. Nightline is next but first they are not breaking up, song banana brain, die antwoord . . . . . . . Im having the best time . . Of my life made by god baby girl you so fine so so fine you blow my mind . . Look at you coochiekoo juicy tooshie gooshiegoo boobie one boobie two . . Bouncing like a looney toon booty booming cookie juice gushing out your gucci boo . . You so cute like peekachoo there noone so sweet like you i was sad then you . . Sneaked into my lonely heart like peekaboo now every time i think of you not by my side i dry my eye . . I just want to sing lullabies to my little butterfly banana brains . . You the apple of my eye stay with me tonight . Banana brains you the apple of my eye stay with me tonight cus im having the . . Best time of my life banana brains you the apple of my eye stay with me tonight . . Cus im having the best time of my life . Baby boy you so cool how can i stay mad at you . . I love you and thats the truth you so silly you so stoopid you the best . . I never want you to stress everything gunna be cool wait and see just hold my hand and stay with me . . Baby girl you been there for me through thick and thin with cool energy . . You care for me life is weird . . It keeps testing me no other girl in the world impressing me like you do your . . Voodoo fresh to me i just wanna be giving you the best of me everything is meant to be . . You were sent to me you and me got wild destiny you like a lil angel never pressure me . . Everything you do is so zef to me i love it thats you best friends with me . . I just wanna treat your heart carefully cus everyday i feel blessed to be . . The one with you chilling right next to me banana brains you the apple of my eye . . Stay with me tonight cus im having the best time of my life banana brains . . You the apple of my eye stay with me tonight cus im having the best time of my life . . Stay with me tonight stay with me tonight stay with me tonight cus im having . . The best time of my life i love it that you there for me . . Everything is meant to be baby you were sent me . . [ cheers and applause ] . . . sexy boyz fancy boyz play boyz bad boyz . . i fink u freeky and i like u a lot i fink u freeky and i like u a lot . . i fink u freeky and i like u a lot i fink u freeky and i like u a lot . . i fink u freeky and i like u a lot i fink u freeky i fink u freeky and i like u a lot . . . Left home locked in my zef zone ready 4 da test yo what da heck i guess so hit da overseas everybodyz headz get blown get everyfing 4 free like dr dre beats headphones . . When i get home i lounge on my zef throne make my mummy happy coz i get so paid making my money rapping over techno rave i can take u round da world lets go babe . . When i step up and do my thing i put u in a trance my zefside click got it going on i dont care what u think i do what i want little jump . . Jump jump jump l. A. Jump . This is nightline. Tonight, after a dramatic shootout with police, the alleged serial bomber captured alive. Just 48 hours after a string of bombs terrorized new york and new jersey. Now authorities investigating. Did he act alon finding more deadly devices. New details on the alleged terrorist and the bloody showdown with law enforcement. Plus strutting their stuff. These transgender models have gone from hiding in the shadows to embracing the spotlight. Weve always been here. And now you know. Welcome. Whoopi goldberg is on the front lines in the battle for trans acceptance