nobody gets past this area. >> rickey: that's right. [ laughter ] >> jay: well, folks, it's that time of the year when the jolly man with the big belly stops by for his once a year visit. that's right, charles barkley on the show tonight, ladies and gentlemen! [ rim shot ] [ cheers and applause ] charles barkley, here tonight. tonight, of course, the first night of hanukkah. someone just wished me happy hanukkah. [ cheers and applause ] which, as you know, celebrates the miracle when a few drops of oil kept a lamp burning for eight days. doesn't that sound like some kind of product made by the shamwow people? [ laughter ] it's the miracle lamp extender, just $9.95 extends oil for eight days. order now. burning bush sold separately. [ light laughter ] see, i gotta admit i miss my christmases in new england because it's -- i mean, it's nice here. [ cheers and applause ] >> rickey: you got a point. >> jay: 'cause it's different in beverly hills. like, kids out here, they don't write letters to santa. they add santa's name to the easter bunny, and the tooth fairy in their contact lists, you see? [ light laughter ] then they hit "reply all" so the three can coordinate their gifts. it's just -- it -- it seems a little structured. [ applause ] well -- a survey released today found that men spend twice as much on their mistresses for christmas as they do on their wives. [ audience oohs ] on the other hand, men spend half their income on the wives when the wife finds out about the mistress. so it all -- it all balances out. [ laughter and applause ] the post office said today they expect to handle 60 billion packages this year. they'll deliver about 8 billion of them, but they'll handle close to -- that's -- that's almost as many packages as the tsa handles. do you know that? [ audience ohs ] >> rickey: that's a lot of packages. >> jay: oh, and as they do every year, al qaeda has threatened to disrupt and ruin christmas. ooh, i'm scared. [ audience oohs ] you know, we already have a a group that disrupts and ruins christmas every year. they're called relatives, okay? and they come -- and they stay in your house, so i'm not frightened. ♪ but -- it's time for something we call "the most wonderful time of the year." ♪ it's the most wonderful time of the year ♪ [ revving engine ] [ audience ohs ] ♪ of the year ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: see this in the paper today? a saudi prince -- a prince from saudi arabia, i guess that would be the same thing -- is investing $300 million in twitter. $300 million. i guess with bin laden dead, the saudis suddenly have a lot more cash lying around. [ laughter ] "ooh." [ light laughter ] as you know, korean dictator kim jong-il died on saturday. well, that's -- well, that -- [ scattered applause ] hey, that -- that's pretty rare. one of america's greatest enemies dies and obama had nothing to do with it? that's rare -- wow! [ laughter ] hey, this one's not me. this one's not me! [ applause ] well, leadership -- leadership in north korea will now transfer over to kim jong-il's son, 28-year-old kim jung-un and his wife, snooki jung-un. [ laughter ] well, i tell ya, i can't wait for the reading of the il will. the il will -- they're gonna read it this week. and i thought this was nice -- in his il will, he left all his clothes to jeff dunham's puppet, walter. [ light laughter ] i thought that was -- see, they're the same size. [ light laughter ] i don't wanna say kim jong-il was a little guy, but at his funeral, they just had one pallbearer. just one guy. [ laughter ] and he'll be buried -- [ applause ] i believe he'll be buried in a a gold shoebox. that's probably how they do it -- about three feet under and the whole thing. well, it's time for a segment we call "too old to high five," featuring senate minority leader mitch mcconnell. ♪ too old to high five ♪ >> jay: here he is -- look at -- "hey, everybody -- how you doin'? uh, anybody? hello, anyone? [ laughter ] oh, there! there you go!" ♪ too old to high five ♪ [ applause ] i like that woman. "yeah, right. that's gonna happen." [ laughter ] well, this year the social security system spent $46 billion more than it took in. thus establishing itself as the federal government's most successful program. [ light laughter ] isn't that something? yeah. it's fantastic. [ applause ] hey! president obama's approval rating actually went up last month to 49%. now, let me ask you something. is it me or does it seem like his ratings go up every time there's a republican debate? do you notice that? [ laughter ] you know, it's like -- [ applause ] it's like voters are going, "hey, maybe this guy doesn't suck so bad after all!" yeah. [ laughter ] well, during the republican debate the other night, rick perry compared himself to tim tebow. [ laughter ] he said he's the tim tebow of iowa. yeah, that's what he hopes to be. see, here's the big difference. see, when perry gets down on one knee, he's trying to remember how to tie his shoe. "i can't remember --" [ laughter ] well, folks, it has happened again. a receipt showed that the mayor of southaven mississippi -- a man named greg davis, a a republican what ran on a a family values platform -- got busted after it was revealed that he charged the city $67 for items he purchased at a a gay sex shop in canada. >> rickey: wow! >> jay: well, how despicable is that, huh? our american gay sex shops aren't good enough for this guy? [ laughter ] what's so great? what's so great about those canadian gay -- exactly! yes! [ applause ] let me tell you something. i have been to those canadian gay sex shops and they're nothing! [ laughter ] ours are twice as good! and believe me, you don't want to even know how he smuggled the stuff over the border. i'm not even gonna go there. [ audience groans ] [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] [ applause ] hey, have you seen -- you seen this popular video of the bear waving to the lady in her car? have you seen that? here, show it. here, this is real. take a look. look at this, now watch what the bear -- >> hi! >> jay: look at the bear. [ laughter ] you know, i was so impressed by that -- i was so enchanted by that, i wanted to go down there and get the bear to wave at me. here, take a look. [ laughter and applause ] i didn't know -- bear fur could do that. [ laughter ] well, folks, there is a new day in los angeles. last night, a preseason game. the clippers wiped out the lakers 114-95. [ cheers and applause ] that's like rick perry beating alex trebek in jeopardy, isn't it? oh my god! well, a lot of big basketball news happening right now. chris paul moved to the clippers. lamar odom has moved to the mavericks. kobe bryant moving into a a studio apartment. it's everywhere! [ laughter ] there's so much happening! [ applause ] oh -- i'm sure you know that story. kobe -- kobe bryant's wife, vanessa, has filed for divorce. she says he has been cheating too much. [ laughter ] don't you love that? is there such a thing as just enough? you know? [ laughter ] guys, ask your wife how much is just enough because you don't want to go over that line. you'd hate to damage the relationship by cheating too much. and the power went out at candlestick park last night during the steelers-49ers game. did you see that? you know what? somebody overloaded the system. yeah, i think i know who. take a look. watch. can you go down, go down. there's polamalu, watch, he turns on the hairdryer. watch. now, you see, look? you see? yeah, that -- that was it! [ cheers and applause ] did you hear about this? there was a false rumor on the internet that jon bon jovi had died. did you hear that? it was all over the place. well, bon jovi had to go on facebook to prove that he's still alive. [ light laughter ] same reason lindsay lohan did that "playboy" shoot -- just to prove that she's still alive. [ light laughter ] [ audience ohs ] oh, what happened? oh, justin bieber -- [ applause ] justin bieber got pulled over by the cops again. this is -- what? the second time the lapd has pulled him over and this time, it was caught on tape. here's the news story. >> so we heard justin bieber is just not a really good driver or the lapd has a bad case of bieber fever. the biebs pulled over again in l.a. this week. [ laughter ] it's the third time in five months. [ applause ] folks, we'll be right back with "what's trending tomorrow?" and charles barkley. say hello to rickey minor and "the tonight show" band! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ vo: hurry! old navy funnovations inc. is in sweater overdrive. just look at all that sweater! there are sweater purses sweater boots, sweater hats, sweater scarves and sweater hot dogs... sweater what?! who's behind all this? meet grandmabot! grandmabot: hello there dearie. give grandmabot some sugar. vo: she's our patented yarn loving senior knitizen and she's got a gift for everyone. all sweaters are $15 and under, but not for long... old navy. come fun, come all! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: welcome back, everybody. happy holidays. we have a great show for you tonight. the one, the only, charles barkley is here. and there's a new - new movie out called "the artist." it's a silent film. it's gotten six golden globe nominations. this is one of the most charming films i've seen in a a long time. it's really, really good. one of the stars, french actress, berenice bejo -- isn't that a great name? berenice bejo. [ cheers and applause ] she will be here. she has never seen our show. i walked in. [ french accent ] "who are you?" "i am jay." [ laughter ] a beautiful woman. and she's just wonderful in this movie. it's really, really a charming film. and -- oh, another special christmas performance tonight from "glee"'s amber riley. what a job she does on this song tonight. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, really good. really good, so -- tomorrow night, we have thomas haden church. also this week, jonah hill, terry bradshaw and the newest member of the los angeles clippers, chris paul. chris paul is here. [ cheers and applause ] and as you know, his -- his father ron paul running for president. [ laughter ] >> rickey: wow. >> which is fascinating. so we're going to find out all about -- >> rickey: i didn't know that. >> jay: now, folks, internet search engines like google and yahoo!, they present lists of popular topics under the heading, "what's trending now." now, that's a great -- wait. [ light laughter ] as i was saying -- [ light laughter ] you know what he was like on the wedding night. all right. [ laughter ] as i was saying, it's a great way to stay on top of the big news stories of the day. now, thanks to the vast resources of the nbc empire, we can bring you something even better in a bit we call "what's trending tomorrow?" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> all righty. here's how it works. first, we'll tell you about what's trending right now and then, using our advanced technology, we'll show you the stories that people will be following in the future. it's amazing we have this ability. for example, let's take a look at what's trending about the holidays. trending now, "new year's resolutions," okay? [ light laughter ] now, right now, people everywhere resolving to lose those extra pounds next year. trending in 2012, "we're even fatter." [ laughter ] we're even fatter. even fatter. [ applause ] let's see what's trending in movies. trending now, "young adults." charlize theron's new movie. getting some serious oscar buzz. what's trending in the new year? the new rick perry biopic -- [ laughter ] "dumb adult." [ applause ] yeah, "dumb adult." what else trending in the world of film? i am so excited to see this movie when it comes out. it was my favorite play this year. "war horse." steven spielberg's new drama -- [ cheers ] about a young boy's horse being sold into the calvary during world war i. this hits theaters christmas day. very anxious. what's trending tomorrow? the worst product tie-in ever. [ laughter ] yeah. [ audience ohs ] yeah. in every happy meal. let's see what's trending in pop culture. trending now, "vampires." [ cheers ] whether you're a fan of "twilight" -- look at that. see, or "true blood," no denying vampires are more popular than they've ever been. what's trending tomorrow? mitt romney changes from the mormon look to the vampire look. [ applause ] there you go. and let's face it, he -- you know -- he was halfway there with the hair. let's see what's happening in politics. trending now, rod blagojevich. a jury has sentenced rod blagojevich to 14 years behind bars, making him the fourth illinois governor to go to prison. trending tomorrow, blagojevich becomes the bitch of governors two and three. there you are. two and three. [ cheers and applause ] let's see what's trending in the world of sports. trending now, "kobe bryant." the lakers star said to be a a bachelor once again now that his wife, vanessa, has filed for divorce. what's trending tomorrow? "kim kardashian-bryant." [ laughter ] "kim kardashian-bryant." [ applause ] >> jay: let's see if anything's trending about our show tonight. trending right now, "charles barkley." charles barkley. [ cheers and applause ] apparently our good friend charles is asking for a new set of golf clubs for christmas. what's trending in the future? umm -- [ laughter ] yeah. [ cheers and applause ] and finally, there's no use knowing what the future brings if you haven't learned the lessons of the past. with that in mind, our good friends over at jibjab bring you this "2011 year in review." >> jibjab! ♪ 2011 was hairy a year unlike any we've seen there were schweddy balls from ben & jerry ♪ ♪ and a warlock assassin named sheen ♪ >> winning! ♪ ♪ lohan strauss-khan mitt romney, rick perry and cain ♪ ♪ big trials love childs 2011 bye bye ♪ ♪ the s&p blew up our rating the job market stayed in a slump a slump ♪ ♪ the debt ceiling kept us debating while weiner just tweeted his junk ♪ [ camera shutter ] >> class war! class war! >> i nearly got hit with a pie! ♪ health threats greek debts ♪ >> 2011, buh bye! ♪ the whole arab world was rebelling so long, muammar gaddafi♪ ♪ while soldiers were asking and telling we told the whole world we're not gay ♪ ♪ got hitched got ditched got knocked up went bankrupt ♪ ♪ we aren't surprised ♪ ♪ hairspray "friday" 2011, bye bye ♪ ♪ quick crimes new signs with lions and tigers and bears >> oh my! ♪ let's cheer the new year 2011 you're ending thank heaven ♪ ♪ 2011, bye bye ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: hey, if you'd like to see more of jibjab's "year in review," go to their website at jibjab.com. be right back with charles barkley, right after this! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ jennifer ] no matter where you're from... ♪ ♪ ...elegance... ♪ ♪ ...is hard work. ♪ ♪ it's taking style... ♪ whatever you want me to ♪ ...performance... ♪ i'm gonna see you through ♪ ...and originality and making them look easy. ♪ i can breathe, i can feel ♪ ♪ i believe ♪ ♪ and there ain't no doubt about it ♪ i'd race down that hill without a helmet. i took some steep risks in my teens. i'd never ride without one now. and since my doctor prescribed lipitor i won't go without it for my high cholesterol and my risk of heart attack. why kid myself? diet and exercise weren't lowering my cholesterol enough. now i'm eating healthier exercising more, taking lipitor. numbers don't lie. my cholesterol's stayed down. lipitor is fda approved to reduce the risk of heart attack and stroke in patients who have heart disease or risk factors for heart disease. it's backed by over 19 years of research. [ female announcer ] lipitor is not for everyone including people with liver problems and women who are nursing pregnant or may become pregnant. you need simple blood tests to check for liver problems. tell your doctor if you are taking other medications, or if you have any muscle pain or weakness. this may be a sign of a rare but serious side effect. [ man ] still love that wind in my face! talk to your doctor. don't kid yourself about the risk of heart attack and stroke. if lipitor's been working for you, stay with it. lipitor may be available for as little as $4 a month with the lipitor co-pay card. terms and conditions apply. learn more at lipitorforyou.com. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] holiday party. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] making spirits bright! [ female announcer ] cheers to you, mr. kangaroo. go-to... [ male announcer ] unsilent night. [ female announcer ] never the wrong time for the right wine. [ male announcer ] yellow tail. the go-to. it's so nice to spend time, just you and me. i know. this is great. you know, i feel like... did you just check the game on your phone? what? no! what am i, like some kind of summoner who can just summon footage to his phone like that? come on. i guess i'm just a little... [ grunts ] oversensitive. it's just that you and i -- yes! [ male announcer ] only at&t's network lets your iphone download 3x faster. at&t.