Because the quarterback for the new england patriots, tom brady, declared it a holiday. [ cheers and applause ] which i did not know he had the power to do that. He gave everyone the day off today. I dont think the mayors even allowed to give people has an athlete ever overthrown a City Government before . Because it could be dangerous. What if he decides to use his powers for evil . You know, tom brady is gluten free, what if he makes everyone go gluten free . You order a lobster roll, you get a handful of seafood, you know in the patriots had their big super bowl victory parade today. It was very cold but that didnt stop the diehards from having a good time. Most of them were too drunk to feel anything anyway. Even the patriots players got loaded on the duck boats. Look at that, drinking beers. Chris long, defensive end, draining a beer. Wait until st. Patricks day to get publicly intoxicated before noon. But this parade really hit the spot. Watch this. Thats rob ninkovich. Youll see what he has in his hand, hes drinking vodka straight from the bottle. [ cheers and applause ] no mixers. And of course even though he didnt play in the game, no celebration in boston would be complete without some words of wisdom from the man monkey known as gronk. The parade is handsdown my favorite event ive been to twice now in my life. Thats just motive motivating me more to keep getting parades. Its the best time ever. What are you going to tell all those kids out there . All the kids tell you the truth, i wasnt even planning on partying coming out in this. But the faness were asking for it and im giving the fans what they wanted to get. So i partied for the fans. Jimmy oh, thats thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, gronk, for your sacrifice. Thank you for your service i should say. So congratulations to patriots. I also want to Say Something to falcons fans. Anyone here from atlanta toni t tonight . Well, dont be sad. You had a great season. Second place. Look at katherine mcphee, okay . Remember that. Meanwhile, in washington today, there was no victory parade for President Trumps pick to run the department of education. The democrats pulled an allnighter on the senate to try to get one more republican to vote against her. They could not do that and betsy devos squeaked in 5150, which is terrible news for democrats and even worse news for grizzly bears. [ laughter ] you have to give her a chance. She already had an Innovative New loon plan for our public schools, which are now brought to you by mountain dew code red. [ laughter ] trumps press Secretary Sean Spicer addressed the confirmation during his Daily Press Briefing where he slowed him down for ni [ tape playing very slowly ] the Vice President had a big day on capitol hill where he cast a historic deciding vote for secretary of ed ed education. Betsy devos. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats how he gets through the day. So while all this is going on in washington, this is what president obama has been up to. Kite surfing. [ cheers and applause ] with richard branson. Look at him, hes getting all the obamacare in the world. [ cheers and applause ] that is a smile of a man who had no idea he might not be allowed back in the country. [ laughter ] meanwhile, President Trump is mad as a hornet. He tweeted this morning, i dont know putin, i have no deals in russia, and the haters are going iran, number one in terror, no problem. You know, there actually was a time in our history when this a president used the phrase haters are going crazy we might be alarmed. We might even be told to remain in our homes if the haters were going crazy. [ laughter ] can we show the photo of obama again . Er never coming back. [ cheers and applause ] trump says he doesnt know Vladimir Putin. They did match up on tinder, they went on one date. He says he has no deals in russia. If you cant take his word for it, take his other word for it. What exactly is your relationship with Vladimir Putin . I have no relationship with putin. I have no relationship with putin. Do you have a relationship with Vladimir Putin . I do have a relationship. I have nothing to do with putin, never spoken to him, i dont know anything about him other than he will respect me. I got to know him very well. We were both on 60 mi we did 60 minutes together. By the way, not together, together. He was in moscow, i was in new york. I was in moscow, Miss Universe pageant. They treated me so great. Putin sent me a present, beautiful present with a beautiful note. I spoke to all of his people. I spoke indirectly and directly with president putin, when could not have been nicer. I dont know putin. I have no idea im not asking you that. Have you met Vladimir Putin . Yes. Jimmy oh, okay, thanks for clearing that up. [ cheers and applause ] hell meet him. President trump has been lashing out wildly at the media lately. Yesterday he accused the very, very Dishonest Press of intentionally not reporting terrorist attacks. Which hes right, why dont we ever hear about terrorist attacks on the news . Why dont they make cute animal videos on youtube anymore . His theory i guess is the media deliberately ignores terrorism becaus muslims or something. Which of all his conspiracy theories this might be the nuttiest, or maybe eighth nuttiest, there are a lot to keep track of. The one thing that is clear is the president does not like the media, with one notable exception, a new network that bathes our president in the warm glow of admiration he deserves, and that network is called trump tv. This is trump tv. Number one news that feels right. For top stories, america finally gets tough down under. Whats really in those pouchs . Mexicans . Kangaroo . The Gorsuch Nomination ran and an exciting new way for white people to shake hands. First President Trumps immigration vacation. Most everyone loves the president s new executive order. In fact, out of 3,294 federal judges, only one totally blocked in other news, press Secretary Sean Spicer had something very sexy to report. I dont think the president owns a bathrobe. Definitely doesnt wear one. Mm, hello president daddy and finally the winners win again in super bowl triumph for trump. Putins a killer. A lot of killers, we got a lot of killers, what you think our countrys so innocent . Its kill or be killed. Even crooked hillary agrees. I agree with you. Thanks, evil email lady. Coming up next, why mexico loves trump more than ever. The womens march. Was it just pms . And which religions are the worst . Well rank them. Next on trump tv. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right, its time for a game, a guessing game that puts my knowledge of myself to the test. Its time to play blast from the past. Here we go. The wall of america. We are now joined by eight individuals, seven of these people are complete strangers to me. Theyre people ive never met. One of them, though, is a figure from my past. My job is to try to figure out which person i know. Again, i have no idea who it is. My staff and family members have found this person to stump me. But i will not be stumped. I refuse to be stumped. Let me just take a good look at everyone for a second, give me a second. I recognize all of your faces is the weird thing. Okay, im going to start with number 7. Number 7 am i not allowed to ask what their name is . Yeah, number 7, are you the person from my past . Hi, jimmy. No, we have never met. Jimmy all right, where do you live . Alameda, the bay area. Jimmy tell everyone i said hi, maybe well get together soon. Come on up. Jimmy all right, lets go back to the ball and see okay, i got one wrong. Lets go with number 4. Number 4, you seem like maybe youre about my age. Are you the person from my past . Jimmy, we dont know each other, sorry. Jimmy oh my god, all right, okay. Thank you very much. You are not from my past. Next we will go to lets see. Number 6. Are you the person from my past . Yes, jimmy, i am the person from your past. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yes, all right, okay. Oh, wow. All right, i see you have a sectional. I dont think thats a clue. But i can look around your living room. Okay. Were we friends . Uh somewhat. Jimmy were we in class together . No. Jimmy okay. Have you ever been to my house . No, i have not. Jimmy huh. Do you know my parents . No, i do not. Jimmy hm. Did we ever Work Together . Yes, we did. Jimmy oh okay. Was i in high school . Yes, you were. Jimmy i was. Cleto, you must know who this is, right . Cleto yes, i do. Jimmy did we work at a Clothing Store together . We sure did. Jimmy okay, millers outpost, the fashion answer, where i worked in high school. We worked okay, we worked at millers outpost together. Were you my boss . Yes, i was. Jimmy oh [ laughter ] wow okay. And i have a question. I think this is going to really the answer to this question is yes, i know exactly who you are. Did i lose my virginity to you . No. Jimmy oh. Oh, oh oh, do were my oh, okay. Did cleto once call you the beermeister and you got very, very angry at him at work . Yes, i guess thats possible. Jimmy deb is your name. Deb, you were my boss yes, deb is my name. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats right. So deb, you now know that i lost my virginity to one of the women that worked for you. I do, i tricked you. Jimmy yes. Thats good information for everybody. How are you doing, deb . Everything all right . Yep, everythings good. I sent in jimmy you have a picture or something . I have a picture, yes. Jimmy oh, very good. Can you hold it up . I think thats you. Jimmy oh, thats me . Thats the paparazzi chasing me around back then. Cash register. I dont think we ever sold any of those necklaces. Are you still working in the Retail Industry . No, i am not. Im retired. Jimmy youre retired. Yeah. Jimmy why the hell am i not retired already . [ laughter ] you are, very good. Do you miss me . I do have something of yours, jimmy. Jimmy what do you have . I have your e. T. Vhs tape. [ laughter ] jimmy really . For real . Yes. Jimmy you borrowed it . Yep. Jimmy do you have it i never gave it back to you. I think you quit or something. Jimmy oh, really . Oh, okay. Well, yes. I moved, actually. I didnt really quit. In fact yeah. Okay. Jimmy yeah, yeah. You kept my e. T. Tape . I did. Jimmy so youre a thief also, how about that. Also. A beermeister and a thief. Jimmy on a scale of 1 to 10, how good an employee was i . In your recollection. Be honest, no joking around here. You were jimmy an 8 thats pretty good. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, deb. Thank you for taking part in this. Thats deb, my former manager at millers outpost. [ cheers and applause ] one of the nice things about doing a Television Show is occasionally you can do things that are only interesting to you. [ laughter ] lets never do that again, all right . All right. Tonight on the show we have music from charlie xcx, Gabrielle Union is here, Dweezil Zappa is sitting in with the cletones and well be right be back with will arnett ill have that goat cheese garden salad. Ast one. Sir, you give me that salad and i will pay for your movie and one snack box. Can i keep the walnuts . Sold. But i get to pick your movie. Can i pick the genre . Yes, but it has to be a comedy. A little cash back on the side. With the blue cash everyday card from american express, you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Throw. Its more than cash back. Its backed by the service and security of american express. Its more than cash back. Remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Its time to snap out of it. Hello moto. Snap on a jbl speaker. Put a 70 screen on a wall. Get a 10x optical zoom. Get excited world. Hello moto. Moto is here. The moto z with motomods. Get 50 off on moto z droid. . [zombie] an advance on my tax refund. [john] doesnt take brains to see the value in that. [zombie] ha [john] arghh. [vo] you can get a refund advance of up to 1250 no interest at block. [john] get you taxes won. Adam driver, here to apologize f bluuuuurgh to apologize for the snickers® live Super Bowl Ad bluuuurgh never in my wildest dreams bluuuuuuurghhhhhh oh, come on bluuuuuuuurghhhh bluuuuuurgh i bet you a buck hek catches this salt shaker. U. Youre on. Hey chuck you owe me a buck. You cant always see whats coming. But when you choose unitedhealthcare, finding an innetwork ctor is easy. Unitedhealthcare awards than any otherived more car brand. Initial quality and they received more last year too. And the year before that. Oh wow and the year before that. Im just impressed that it keeps going. In fact, chevy has received more j. D. Power initial quality impressive current qualified lessees can sign and drive this chevy equinox for around 232 a month. Find new roads at your local chevy dealer. That tasty special sauce, that iconic big mac you know and love is now in a perfectly portable, smaller size. Thats huge. Juicy, cheesy, iconic big mac. Now in three sizes, for a limited time only. Jimmy thats Dweezil Zappa, sitting in with the cletones. His album is called via zammata. And you can see dweezil live at the fonda theater here in la may 6th as part of the 50 years of frank tour. When people come to the 50 years of frank tour, does anyone mistakenly think its sinatra . That rarely happens . Its not frank sinatra, frank zappa is the frank youre looking for. Thank you for being here. [ cheers and applause ] tonight, from the show being mary jane, Gabrielle Union is here. Then, this is her latest single called, after the afterparty, music from charli xcx. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, we have a show. Sean hayes will join us and Zach Galifianakis will be here, well have music from norah jones. And thursday, Kerry Washington and alicia keys. Back in the old days when canadians were welcome to enter this country, we received a gift for which we will always be grateful. He is an emmynominated actor who can be heard as tiny plastic billionaire bruce wayne in the Lego Batman Movie. It opens in theaters friday. Please welcome will arnett. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . Sorry, you caught me in a moment. I was having a deep moment. Jimmy yeah, i saw that. I hate to interrupt like that. Thats cool, im kind of crazy deep. Jimmy what were you thinking about . Oh, just stuff and to do . People talk about a thousandyard stare. I think thats cool if you want to keep it shallow, i prefer a 10,000yard stare. Jimmy you always go 10 times farther than necessary. Than everybody else, yeah. Thats how how much deeper that willian people. Jimmy anyone from your past youd like me to conjure up for you . That was kind of cool that it was almost the person that you lost your virginity too. Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] it would be fun if. You conjured up the people i lost my virginity i dont know what that dudes up to, but [ laughter ] hes probably fine. Jimmy im sure. Probably tells everybody. Wonder if hes still a man of the cloth. Anyway. [ audience moans ] oh, please. Thats my past. Jimmy youve been where have you been the last couple of months . I just got back from wales, in technically part of england, its its own country, and its delightful. Its like, how do you describe it, like the rain olympics. Jimmy really . Yeah, yeah. Like the rain is coming up from the ground. Jimmy why did they choose wales as the place to shoot this movie . Thats a great question, i should have asked. Jimmy did it sound like it was a good idea . It sounded so romantic. Jimmy right, yeah. I thought it was going to be like a dylan thomas poem. Not one person. [ laughter ] one guy. Sure. So i did that. It took me about three weeks to get back into the country. [ laughter ] jimmy you had some trouble at the border . A little bit. Jimmy good, good. Good . Jimmy who knows what youre up to. I know. Jimmy that 10,000yard stare. I know. Jimmy you were also, this is interesting to me, you are the executive producer of show, a new game show thats coming to abc. [ cheers and applause ] you remember the gong show. Jimmy of course. For those who dont know what it is, back in the 70s and 80s, before i was born [ laughter ] because im so crazy young. Im quoting you. Jimmy right, right, yeah. The gong show was kind of like a talent show for people who had a bizarre talent. And what theyd do is have a panel on, and theyd have a panel of comedians, really famous at the time comedians, people like steve martin were on the panel. Sometimes if an act was so bad or grating, a member of the panel had the right to get up and grab this huge hammer and hit the gong. Disqualify the person from the competition. Jimmy right. We decided in this age of competition, we have all these shows celebrating mediocre talent, that we should [ laughter ] that we should have a show that is that. Jimmy a showcase for the mentally ill, if you will. Let get down to whats really going on in this country, you know . Let them have more of a voice. Jimmy yeah, wow, yeah. Its going to be really fun. Jimmy where are you going to get the people . How do you get people who might be gonged . Were going to go through a casting process. We actually were going to have an open casting session this saturday. February 11th. Jimmy this is true . Is this a joke . This is true. Its going to be gongshowcasting. Com. Jimmy thats the website . Thats quite a domain name. Gongshowcasting. Com. You realize most of the people you want for the show cant type that in. I know. We had to buy it from a dude in nebraska. Jimmy right. That must have cost you hundreds yeah. Jimmy the squatters get ahold of that, forget about it. So go there, check out the in info, come aboard. Were going to have great panels of comedians. Casting sessions . I cant defoconfirm or deny. Jimmy i see, no. But maybe. [ laughter ] and my lawyer told me i can say this. I might shake your hand if youre there. [ laughter ] jimmy thats quite a treat. So good. Going to be fun. Youre doing it, youre going to be on the panel. Jimmy am i going to be a gongee . You can be a goner. Jimmy if i do it, and i would do it. I want to be the guy who like wrestles the gong. No playing coy, doing that whole thing . Jimmy like dave kaplan would be and steve garvey would grab him, no, no, dont do the thing nobody saw it . [ laughter ] right. Thats another one in addition to 10,000yard stare, i like playing coy too. Jimmy i watched this, the Lego Batman Movie. You are lego batman. [ cheers and applause ] this is, and im not this is one of the greatest movies ive ever seen. Wow. Jimmy this is a fantastic movie. Thank you. Jimmy i am thinking about adopting a little boy just so i dont look weird going to the theater to see you again. I think adoptions may spike as a result of this. Ill rent you one of mine. Jimmy have your sons seen the movie . My sons have seen the film, i took them last week. They came to the premiere which was fun. Jimmy thats fun. They really got into it. My little guy got quite moved at the end. Really sweet. Jimmy oh, really. Its quite moving at the end. I had to assure him that everything was going to work out. Eventually i said, but maybe it wont. I wanted to letter the boy, you know . The boy needs to learn about life, he needs some learning. Jimmy the boys, are they impressed . Not enough. Jimmy not enough, its never enough. Actually, whats funny, theyre both in the movie. Their voices are in the movie. Jimmy oh, thats fun. Yeah. So one day we have to record on they werent in school, they came with me to record. We needed some voices for these or fans. And i said, you might be or fans one day. Laugh laugh once the tears dried we got them in the booth. No, but they came, they recorded some stuff, it was pretty bad. Jimmy oh, wow, exciting. Yes. Jimmy thats big for a kid. It was really big. Actually, my sons school, my son is in class with one of his buddies, Idina Menzels son. This is california. Jimmy from frozen. Beautiful voice, amazing, shes incredible. The next week after my son had been lent his voice to a batman movie he was showing off to his buddies at school. Hes 6. And then he was showing off to adinas son. They were going, wow, oh my god, youre in lego batman. She turned to me and said, thanks, frozens not good enough now with my kids. Jimmy with boys batman jimmy, this is real, so you have something to remember me by. Jimmy what is it . Its this. Its my business card. Jimmy oh, it is. Oh, look at that, yeah. I dont know if you can see. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy it looks just like you. Bowls over just as easily as i do. Jimmy i have a challenge for you when we come back. Its not just this challenge is not just because youre lego batman but also, this is my challenge to you as a father. Would you be willing to walk over a bed, not of coals, but of legos, in your bare feet . [ cheers and applause ] think about it, well be right back with will arnett dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by intuit turbotax with live, ondemand help when you need it. Relax, theres turbotax. When i was too busy with the kids to get a repair estimate. Liberty did what . 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The Lego Batman Movie. It opens friday. Its excellent. Who are some of the other youre obviously the star. So i dont want to take any of the spotlight away from you. Thank you. Jimmy who are some of the other voices in the film . We have a great cast. Michael cera plays robin. Rosario dawson. Ralph fiennes. Everybodys great. We have Zach Galifianakis. [ cheers and applause ] its a great we have Zach Galifianakis as the joker whos amazing. Funny. Hes really, really good. Jimmy are you ready . This is an experience i think every parent has had, stepping on a lego. [ cheers and applause ] its like the number 11 cause of death around the world. Nightmare before by the way. Jimmy which side should we begin from . This side here . Okay, if you would be so kind, take off your shoes. Right. Jimmy you cant have shoes on or else theres no point. Are your pants loose enough . Yeah, yeah. Jimmy are you okay . These just wash right off, these pants. Pants in a can. Jimmy you wear those thin dressy socks. Yes, and im wearing lifts. Everybody in hollywoods short. Oh, man. Jimmy this is the part where you need me to hold you up. Nice feet. Here we go. Jimmy no, no [ cheers and applause ] hold on, ladies and gentlemen. This is real legos, a distance of 12 feet, maybe. Maybe 10. Mind over matter. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hes almost there he made it [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. Wow. There you go. Will arnett, everybody. The Lego Batman Movie opens friday. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] how do you become americas bestselling brand . You make it detect what they dont. Stop, stop, stop sorry. You make it sense whats coming. Watch, watch, watch mom. Relax im relaxed. You make it for 16year olds. Whoawhoawhoa and the parents who worry about them. You saw him, right . Going further to help make drivers, better drivers. Dont freak out on me. Thats ford. And thats how you become americas bestselling brand. 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But first, if you watched the commercials during the big game on sunday you are well aware that the folks at turbo tax have made it so easy to do your taxes you can now file them on your phone. You can also get help with tax questions by videochatting with a live expert. It sounds like a fairy tale and in a way it is, but more importantly its an opportunity to make our amigo guillermo, wear an egg. Guillermo oh, no, those kings horses and kings men did a very bad job putting me back together again. Hello, my name is marney. Do you have a tax question i can help you with . Guillermo i just had a great fall, now my moustache is on my head. Im so sorry about hear about your fall. Were you on a wall . Guillermo yeah, i was on a wall. Anyway. Will i be able to write off my medical expenses on my taxes . In your case, yes, you will. Guillermo wow, thank you, marie, will you marry me so i can claim you as a dependant . Only, i was just yolking. Dicky intuit turbo tax has live, ondemand help when you need it. Relax, theres turbo tax. Jimmy well be right back with Gabrielle Union kingsmaturbotax agent try and hello mr. Dumpty,ether. Do you have a tax question . Humpty dumpty ive recently had some unforeseen medical expenses. Turbotax agent oh, i hope its not too bad. Humpty dumpty uh. Its pretty bad. Humpty dumpty anyway, can i get a Tax Deduction for the hospital bills . Turbotax agent in your case, yes Humpty Dumpty ooh arent you helpful. Its so difficult to find good help these days. When youre close to the people you love, does psoriasis ever get in the way of a touching moment . If you have moderate to severe psoriasis, you can embrace the chance of completely clear skin with taltz. Taltz is proven to give you a chance at completely clear skin. With taltz, up to 90 of patients had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. In fact, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin. 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[car driving upon the water] cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good and it feels so good oh yeah and it feels so good modern life deserves a and well end up in venice. Oh. Venice. Lets get the check. Nope i got it. You can use it online and whats with this one . And on your phone. Taking care of the check. Its all masterpassed. First impressions. Priceless thank you so where to now . Well were thinking shoe shopping. I was hoping you were going to say shoe shopping. Masterpass, the secure way to pay from your bank i will nevi wnevereverair again. Wash my hair again now, i fuel it new pantene doesnt just wash your hair, it fuels it. With the first prov nutrient blend, making every. Strand stronger dont just wash your hair fuel it fuel your hair. Because strong is beautiful. Jimmy hi, there, were back. Zappa is with the band. Over the course of her movie and tv career, our next guest has played a zoey, a nancy, a perri, a kitty, a kirsten twice and now, finally, a mary jane. She stars on being mary jane tuesday nights on b. E. T. Please say hello to Gabrielle Union. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy good to see you, you look fantastic. Nice to see you. [ cheers and applause ] my mom called ahead, toed them to do it. Jimmy bordering on inappropriate by wait. We were talking about the patriots victory parade. Your husbands dwyane wade. [ cheers and applause ] those parades . I went to one. Its weird. Its august award. Theyre like, yeah, the family gets up on the parade. What do we do . We werent out this. I was just like, wave they want to see lebron, they dont want to [ laughter ] jimmy they were probably excited to see you. I mean, every so often. Its fun, its fun. I was basically gronking it out up there, you know. Jimmy dwyane wade is now on the bulls in chicago. Did you watch all his games . I lost my mind last night. Jimmy he scored 31 points last night. He got off last night, it was nice. Jimmy is his mood affected . Last night it was. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i was thinking about this too. We had a player last night. Dann patriots. He was born a month after i graduated high school. Thats called the whole bulls roster. For me. Jimmy right. Dwyane is in his 14th season or something. His coworkers are 12, yes. Jimmy kids. Theyre like a couple years older than the kids were raising at home. Its bizarre. D. Had his 35th birthday party, everybody is like, you did this party for him. I had nothing to do with that party except writing the check. Jimmy who did it . His team, the people that work with him. They did amigos themed party. Honey, if i planned that it would have been an earth, wind and fire, spinners, what and oats, sarah smiles. Theres a clear age difference. Jimmy what is a bad embouji party . My husband. He is bad and so bouji, god bless him. He had his own face on money made up for this party. [ laughter ] jimmy that was his idea . Wow. Wow. Is that bad or bouji . Both. Jimmy probably more bouji than bad. Your face on money bad. Its more on the bouji side. Jimmy thats nice they like him so much, they planned the party for him. If it was up for me i was do you want to do something . He was like, no. So he wasnt going to get anything. Jimmy i see. Because i go with what he says. Use your words, baby. The last time i planned a party for him, he had made a passing mention that he loved john b. , he loved singing. I had john b. Come out and serenade him, which sounded better inside. [ laughter ] than the execution. Jimmy its uncomfortable. Yeah. When theres a man singing to you. [ laughter ] its uncomfortable anyone singing to you, really. Sair ma serenading its a word that sounds better than in practice. Have the teammates, the young guys on the team, like jimmy butl is this something that will come up in the locker room . I hope not. Or i hope so. Jimmy congratulations on best bust ever, by the way. [ cheers and applause ] is there a trophy . Theres a plaque. No, its funny. I had my own deflategate situation. Because everyones like, what happened to your ass . I was like, that is months of squats. Jimmy oh, i see, you were accused of letting the air out . I dont know. Jimmy thats the best. They were very disappointed it was so small and flat. Jimmy oh, i dont think anyones disappointed. [ laughter ] you have stepsons too. I do. Jimmy did they see this . If they have, they havent mentioned it, thank god. Jimmy yeah, right. Youd have mixed emotions about Something Like this. Their friends might bring that they are mortified with that kind of stuff. I just hear compliments. From a 14yearold, its Mary Kay Letourneau in that kind of way. Jimmy it doesnt matter, youll take it. The children give me compliments. Jimmy with the children are you strict with them . Do you have to be we dont want to be. We are those parents that are like, listen to us, were going to tell you how to beat the system. But they think its reverse psychology. Jimmy what do you mean . We tell you how to get away with stuff. My parents are just now finding out about stuff i did in 91. Im like, help me help you. Jimmy what are the secrets . Get your stories together. Jimmy thats number one. Theres two of you, he doesnt move without you, you stick to it together till the day you die. If there is no video evidence, it didnt happen. Its fake news. [ laughter ] just ride it. Work it out. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy this is starting to sound familiar. Your show being mary jane, Second Season of that show . The fourth season. Jimmy the fourth season, wow. [ ch explain the basic idea of the show. Its about mary jane paul, who is a journalist. You see her life at work, you see her love life, you see her life with her family, her friends. You basically get a 365degree viewpoint of her life. Jimmy theres an extra 5 degrees in her life . Yes. Thats her on the toilet. [ laughter ] jimmy thats the bonus . Like a modernday mary tyler moore. Im like, oh, yeah, if shes dropping a deuce and masturbating. Jimmy that would look great on a billboard. Heres your extra 5 , de diddling yourself. Jimmy see it all on being mary jane, tuesday nights at 10 00 on b. E. T. Tell your husband i said hello. And we shall return with music from charli xcx. [ cheers and applause ] latches onto youry finger so hard, its like shes saying i love you. Thats why aveenos oat formula is designed for your babys sensitive skin. Aveeno®. Naturally beautiful babies. You may be muddling through allergies. Oned with. Try zyrtec® for powerful allergy relief. And zyrtec® is different than claritin®. Because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. Try zyrtec®. Muddle no more®. Jimmy id like to thank will arnett, Gabrielle Union, Dweezil Zappa and apologize to matt damon. We ran out of time. Here with the song after the afterparty, charli xcx after the after the party were gonna keep it going were gonna rip it up the neighbours might complain i think its almost 4 00 am but baby im still feeling just fine ice all up in a plastic cup and ima keep on sipping all night yeah i mightve kissed a thousand lips but maybe thats just all in my mind some people never understand the way we live but were living life uh huh hey uh huh monday to sunday its never too late so everyone say we dont wanna stop cause after the afterparty were gonna keep it going were gonna rip it up the neighbors might complain were gonna stay til morning then when the time is up well do it all again yup yup yup yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah were all in love were all in love im hanging on my best friends couch and my clothes are all on the floor i got glitter in my underwear like it was studio 54 yeah i cant remember why i love it but i need it baby clap bring on the encore lets pour another drink the glasses go yeah were always up for one more uh huh hey uh huh monday to sunday its never too late so everyone say we dont wanna stop cause after the afterparty were gonna keep it going were gonna rip it up the neighbors might complain cause after the afterparty were gonna stay til morning then when the time is up well do it again yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah were all in love were all in love monday to sunday doing it our way riri on replay were all in were all in love yeah drop drop drop drop drop and we do it like ice cream for dinner bucket of liqueur were getting sicker dont need ibiza were all in were all in love yeah drop drop drop drop drop and we do it like monday to sunday doing it our way riri on replay cheers to the weekday were all in were all in love yeah cause after the afterparty were gonna keep it going were gonna rip it up the neighbours might complain |m cause after the afterparty were gonna stay til morning then when the time is up well do it all again yup yup yup yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah were all in love were all in love monday to sunday doing it our way riri on replay cheers to the weekday were all in were all in love yeah this is nightline. 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