with every question anvelteli ad remove obstacles to economic empowerment one conversation at >> and by contributions to your pbs station from viewers like you. thank you. [captioning made possible by kcet public television] >> always pleased to welcome our friend, george wallace. the talented comedian continues his successful run at the flamingo hotel in las vegas. the show runs tuesday through saturday. i cannot believe you are still in las vegas du. >> first of all, i am so blessed. i went there for 30 days, 60 days, 90 days. i am in my eighth year, and i have to thank the people for letting me be part of that community. i do not have a job and love doing what i do, and they pay me to make people happy, which makes me happier. nature you enjoy your life. -- make sure you enjoy your life. just because you have a degree in marketing does not mean you just need to do analysis. you might enjoy painting houses or fixing cars, but if it is what you love to do, you do not worry about money. i am the most successful comedian. being successful has nothing to do with how much money you make. being successful is enjoying her what you do and loving life. >> by that definition, i may be doing what you are doing in the next couple years. >> you tried to participate in the show, and you get laughs. look at you. why are you laughing for no reason at all. that is why they call me dr. wallace. don't you feel better now that you are talking to me. i guarantee you feel better when you are finished talking to me than wn you leave the doctor's office. laughter is the best medicine in the world. tavis: the recall the first time you got a good laugh on stage? when did you know when you got on stage that i can do this them of >> i have been knowing that since i was a kid. i have wanting to be a comedian since i was 6 years old. i talked about wanting to be a canadian since before i came out of the want -- to be a comedian since before i came out of the womb. five minutes. i have been telling jokes since i was in grade school because of red skelton, all people of color, and that is what i have been doing a. that was supposed to be a joke. milton berle and the canadian who created the phrase (-- a comedian who created the phrase "here comes the judge." i was a comedian. i was never the class clown. >> people think the guy they call mr. vegas was wayne newton, but prioro wane, sammy. >> i respect mr. wayne newton as mr. las vegas. you get a title every generation. if changes. c.m.e. was the first, and he is still the greatest profession -- sammy was the first, and he is still the greatest performer. i thank god for them paving the way for myself. they had to go through the kitchen to come out and work on that stage, and every time i think about it, if they were lying to me, they would be surprised. everybody has to go through the kitchen. >> how is las vegas doing these days, because i keep reading about a recession and now? >> there was a big hit. they call them the cooler crown. richard -- cooler crowd. they bring their own sodas and years. we had to bring people in, so we had to cut the rates. you can get a room in the best hotel for our rate like $159. i did not know what to do now, because people are coming back in. i am so blessed, because i have got the most diversified crowd. i have young people, old people, he paupers. what i like about working in las vegas, last week we had a lady named denise williams. remember her? tavis: indiana, where i'm from. >> sorry about that. you do not know what is going to happen in that room. tom jones, aretha franklin. let me tell you about that. you never know what is going to happen. for the first time in 25 years, it is making news all over the world, answer they would not -- and they would not show up. i got prius. prince came to the show a couple times and -- i got prince. prince came to the show a couple times. we break rules. what do i care? we have a good time every night to carry guns -- every night. tavis: i was on line and type in your name. i was amazed at all the youtube video is going way back. have you ever done this before? you are all over youtube. >> i have twitter and facebook. this social media is working. tavis: you like it? >> i should know how to do it, but i do not. i was on a show with a series seinfeld, my best friend, and i've not -- with a series seinfeld, my best friend, and i put it on facebook now, so it is everywhere. this is going to be 1 million hits after i leave tonight. this is pbs. i talk about it every night. it has gotten everyone in trouble. arnold schwarzenegger, we thought he was the terminator. he turned out to be the inseminator. he said, i will be back. i do not think so. we have clinton, lawrence taylor. you go down the line. the man in iowa. the men in the bathroom. lawrence craig. tavis: since you are on stage almost every night, when you have time to write material? >> i do not have to write. i just watched television. all you have to do is what set. it is right there. anthony casey, she is mad as hell. she is not happy unless someone has been kidnapped and killed. someone is going to kidnap her and stuff like that. i am talking about these the phone and who need to be in jail. the lady on "the deal." she is going to go to jail she is going to get your butt kicked, and it is going to be joy. would be would go to jail for a long time. -- woopie would go to jail for a long time. "shut up, do old fool." i love o'brieprah. she did something different. what a black person is going to give a two year notice about trade-in third job? one of those nine weeks is going to be vacation. -- a black person is going to give two weeks, and one of those weeks is going to be vacation. when you have money, you can do anything you want. i learned something from you. some weeks ago you gave me of books "from the hard left." i am finishing up of both -- a book. it is going to be called "and don't touch my bread or "/it off -- laugh it off." you hear the old people who say, when i turned 65, i am going to retire and travel all around the world. you are too old. old people have to be asleep. i see old people looking out of the eiffel tower. i tell young people to make sure you travel and turn heads, because when you are young, get on an airplane. old people like to start wars. old, rich people. that is the only reason we have wars. you give me 10 kids from china, africa, brazil, cleveland, a boom box, a keg of beer, and leave them there for an hour, and what happens? of party. young people do not like now wars. that is why you need a leader like me in charge. i have got billboards. the secondng to be black president. there will be changes. is there going to be foreign aid? for two years, they are not going to get nothing. if we cannot renounce your name, you are not getting anything. i am going to save some money. we are going to have a three-day government. monday, wednesday, friday. that is when the mail is going to come. i am combining these jobs. do we care if we get mail tuesday, thursday, saturday. tavis: mine does not have to come out of democrats that is when hospitals -- in mind is not have to come out of your good arsons and that is when hospitals are going to be open. and who -- mine does not have to come at all. >> that is when hospitals are going to be open. if you have a heart attack on a tuesday. i went there, and they just looked at me. he gave me a prescription and said, i want you to use this twice a day and come back and see me. i said, not today. you are touching me. you are going to get that k y jelly and you are going to make me feel good. i just take simple, everyday things. that is what my comedy is, things you can relate to. if you are driving to las vegas, you have seen a store called world market. on the marquee today, it says, if it is in stock, we have it. every store should put that up. i should vote, if you pay for it, it is free -- i should put, if you pay for it, it is free. there are a lot of things that are funny, and i am going to get in trouble about this. i am not apologizing. i just say i am going to get in trouble. i saw an ethiopian restaurant. now i am thinking, i did not even know they have food in ethiopia. i am thinking what little food they have got, they are bringing it over here. take that to people who need it. they do it really good. they say, we are out. there is no food at the ethiopian restaurant. i mentioned jokes about people are nosey. have you ever been washing your car and the neighbors poll in and say, when you finish yours, .ou can do mine now i am walking in on my neighbor and his wife after sex next week. you can do it. they aresuperior -- are nosy. a lot of people have seen me on tv, and a lady on the tram said, mr. wallace, it is ok to smile. i am minding my own business. now am i supposed to walk around like they just took leave viagra? it is ok to smile. you know what i told her? my mother died. my mama is dead. she died. i told her five times. i have her crying. i followed her and said, she is dead. i did not tell her when she died. she died 30 years ago, but that is none of her business. my mommy and daddy died. i shot both of the month the same time. >> i saw you talking about your. >> this is what happened when the people live in las vegas. he walked onto my stage three months ago, and everybody is going to build a house. he is going to build it from the ground up. i had to say, that is probably the best way to start building a house. with the rules and a chimney, there is a possibility you will run into some trouble. chaperoned on to stage, and -- shaq walked onstage and said, he wanted to be a cop. can you imagine him, 6 ft. 12 in? a policeman of all things. you know what i have been talking about lately? fire men. tavis: wire you messing with firemen? >> what happened to the dog and used to be on the truck. those dogs got tipped off and formed a union. they said, we are going to california to make movies. why can they build a fire house with a back garage door and a front garage door? because they are backing an of. the firemen are gittins and not on my nerves. if the house burns up, get in the tub, fill it with water. that should help. if you cannot get out, you fill the bathtub with water, you might as well get some onions, leaves.y cream of but head soup. let me tell you about what else happens in las vegas. no kid left behind. i remember going to college. we have a little money, but not a lot of money. i thought about college kids. it is expensive. i have made enough to make a sacrifice and give back to the community. all the kids around las vegas, two forms of id, i am going to let them in for free. i am making the announcement now on your show. tavis: you got that? >> i do not want all the people from university of phoenix and now. 23 and under. tavis: why 23? it is my lucky number. i went to the university, and a lady said, you are crazy. i had to take a dna case, and when i walked out, maury was sitting there. that cannot be good for me. i tried to give the kid money for 21 years. he would not take it. he is doing pretty good. he went down to miami. now what is that boy? >> lebron. >> i am going to sue him for fathers' support. working at the flamingo. if you come, is vegas like it used to be. you never know what i am going to do. i have given away a car, diamonds, cruises, and i love going to work. do not ever touch me. you always wanted to be a boxer. tavis: i was going to ask you a serious question. you talk about your show. are you ready belmont and -- are you ready? your deal is different from anybody else in vegas. you do not actually work in the hotel and. now how is it different? >> i do all the marketing and advertising. >> so when i see your face? >> i am glad to have a multimillion dollar campaign. it cost of money in -- a lot of money in it las vegas. i was vice president of the company years ago. tavis: you were in marketing before u.n. to comedy in -- before you went into comedy? >> yes. tavis: how does the buyer from help you as a comedian? >> being a comedian, it is business. >> show business. >> how many football players ?obro c'mon -- to go broke you have to do all this planning in your head. there is no reason why any rich person should be broke. i do not like it. when they are making millions of dollars, they have season and $35 million homes. of that money is coming in now, but maybe five years ago there will not be coming in, but the bills will not be coming in late. tavis: so we will not read that you are filing for bankruptcy? >> i have lived a good life. i do not think it is going to happen to me. when i die, there is going to be some money somewhere. tavis: tell me where it is going to be. >> and the death tax. that is another thing. if you win the lottery, $100 million, that is something you are going to get. that money has already been taxed. i told you a long time ago to balance the budget, we can sell a lot of things. there are a lot of things we can do. the you know who has the best health care in the world? congress. i just want to get what prisoners get. prisoners get free health care. >> and three meals a day. >> they get sick and do not have to leave the house. next week i am going to costco to get a pap smear, a hysterectomy, and if they let me, i am going to get an abortion. i am seeing right now. -- peeing right now. there is something wrong with me. i do not know what it is. tavis: i am out of time, and it is just as well. >> iant to thank you so much. it has been a pleasure. when you come to las vegas, bring your entire staff. i love you, and there is nothing you can do about it. tavis: used all mines. >> -- you stole my line. >> it is under my name, and use it again, i am going to sue you. tavis: i love you. good night. >> you are going to jail. i swear, you are going to jail. >> for more information on the show, visit pbs.org. >> join me next time for rose byrne. that is next time. we will see you then. >> every community has martin luther king boulevard. it is the cornerstone we all know. it is not just a street or a place where wal- mart comes together with your community to make everyday better. >> nationwide insurance supports tavis smiley. nationwide is proud to join in working to remove p obstacles to economic empowerment and one at a time. nationwide is on your side. >> and by contributions to your pbs stations from viewers like you. thank you.