On you. You probably done stole everything, right . You aint snuck up on nothing, old man. I heard your little loud shirt coming down the driveway. Tanyas here to help will since everybodys busy, mr. Brown. Cora, them kids would be safer running through a crack house with a money suit on. She aint going to help nobody. Hey, morning, everybody. Wow. Something smells good. Will, be careful. Thats crack soup. Nephew, be careful. Back away. Its crack. It is not. I taught tanya how to make chicken and dumplings. Yeah, and i hope it tastes as good as yours, miss cora. Here, taste it, will. Taste it. Its real good. Dont get addicted. You high . What you think . Thats good. Ooh who ever knew that girl could burn like that, huh . Half the prison population in georgia know she can burn like that. Shes making Grilled Cheese sandwiches on an ironing board in prison. Mr. Brown r. Brown, hush up. I got your mail for you, too. Arent you the happy little home wrecker. Its homemaker. Cora, its home wrecker. I know what im trying to say. She aint fooling me. She probably got this laced with some amtraks. Amtrak . What the what . What is it . They done sent me a picture ticket. Theyre trying to say i ran through a red light, nephew. How are they gonna even tell if thats me . How they know if thats me . Uncle brown, you have on the same outfit you got on right now. [cora laughs] that aint nothing. Thatsomebody can be out there improstituting me. You know how many people dress like this . Nobody haters. Oh, yall are just haters. Mr. Brown, id just ignore that ticket. Thats cause you used to being on the wrong side of the law. Mr. Brown, all you have to do is just go to traffic school, and theyll wipe that ticket right out. Traffic school, miss cora . No, youre doing too much. What you mean . No, i got a cop friend. Hell wipe that ticket out. All you need is a blond wig, a bustier, and a cando attitude. Oh, god. Settle down, settle down. Welcome to defensive driving class. You all have one thing in common. Yalls driving sucks mr. Brown. You can see me . Thank you for joining us. How did you know it was me . We have a large photo of you downtown at the station. Most people think that youre a figment of our imagination, like the easter bunny or the loch ness monster or a faithful man. Sit down, mr. Brown. Speaking of nets, i like your hair. Derek, what you doing here . Improper use of hand signals. Apparently, you cant do this to a cop. Dont i know you from somewhere . Uhthat depends. If it gets me out of this class, then, yes, you do. Oh. [chuckles] girl, how have you been . Oh, im wonderful. How are you . Can i leave . I got bras older than you. Sit down. Scary. Psst, derek. I want to move over there. He mean. Theres no room. There is room over here stay over there. He gonna kill me. The teacher will see you. Move silence peace. Psst. Hey, sexy. You cant even see this far. Look, you im hattie. I bet you sing bass in the choir. I drive a mustang. You mean a horse or a car . Oh [mr. Brown imitates horse neighing] attention yes . What is the first thing you do when your brakes go out . You just start screamingoh, lord oh, lord oh, lord were going to die [imitates tires screeching] hes just having a seizure. Then you check and make sure you got on clean underwear. Why is that important, mr. Brown . Well, cause my mama always told me, boy, you done had them drawers on 3 days. You Better Change them before you have an accident and you have to go to the house pillar. Human sexuality . Thats disgusting. Hey, uh, renee, can you do me arenee . Whats up . Can you do me a favor . I know. You want to kiss meto get back at sasha. But that aint gonna work. Good. No, we should have sex. Thatll fix her. Come on. Undo uhor, you could get mr. Days chart for me. All right, just trying to take one for the team, but, okay. Thanks. Good afternoon, dr. Brown. Oh, hey. Renee, could you pull me mr. Wrights chart, please . Why are you all treating me like one of you alls little foster kids . I see that your shirts ironed today. Cora do that for you . No, coras been too busy. Oh, well, i know you didnt do it. Nope. Will, did you hire help . Ha ha. No, i didnt hire any help. Will. Hi. Oh, my gosh. You left in such a rush this morning that you forgot the lunch i prepared for you. Tanya . [ man ] every corner, every week let me just say something. We all got a choice to make. And we can keep focusing on the bad. Dwell on the bad, talk about the bad. Or, or. We can focus in on the good. I want to give it up for good. Give it up for what is good. What can be good. What will be good in our communities. Now whos with me . Perfectly bitesized drops of rich and creamy chocolate happiness. When the chocolate is hersheys, life is delicious. Oh, hey, boo. Will, take this. Take this. I did not slave over that stove last night for you for nothing, all right . Come on. Last night . You know, tanyas been helping out at the house. Mmhmm. Anyway, you got that chart . Mmhmm. Here you go, dr. Player. Can you do something with this, please . Thank you. See you later. Okay. Okay. This is getting messy. So, i see that you are ironing now. Oh, well, you know, somebody had to do it. Oh, thats so funny, because i never saw you as the domestic type. Oh, really . Oh, my gosh, cause i never saw you as the hoeing type. Nurses stationcall you back. Well, i certainly hope youre enjoying playing house with my husband. Sasha, its not even like that. All right, sasha, you know what . Listen, will is helping me out, and im helping him out. Oh, ill bet. Mmhmm, ill bet, too. Who is this chicken head . Well, hold up, shawshank. I got acrylics. I aint afraid to use them. Renee, stay out of this yeah, nene, dont make me have to jump across this desk and punch a little mud hole up in your flat butt. Oh, yeah. Well, sorry. Everybody cant be half amazon and half donkey. Heehaw, heehaw. All right, smurfette jones, im telling you, ill take that little press and curl, and ill sling you all over this hospital tanya you dont know who youre dealing with tanya how are you gonna do all that with my size 8 up in your mouth . All right, all right, you better be glad im on parole. Im telling you tanya, renee hmm . I got this. You got what . What you gonna do, bougie . You know what . Thats okay. Just call me. cause im a rideordie nurse. She better be glad im still on parole. Well, ill be back home soon, tanya, so dont get too comfortable in my life. Ooh, you mean the one that you kissed goodbye . Mwah. Ill see what i can do. Oh, skip, skip skip to my lou okay, listen up. These 4 chairs represent an automobile. I need two volunteers, please, from the class. Ill do it. Illill do it. Pleaseplease, anybody else. I got both hands up. Im two people. Okay, fine. Mr. Brown, come on. Okay. Do not touch anything. Oh, itll be just like i dont even have hands. Girl, i dont know why you dont have a license, cause you are driving me crazy. Lover boy, youre up. Huh . Up. Now i know where i know you from. You took out my baby sister, dejah, and you never called her again. Dejah . Oh. Oh oh oh after you dumped her, she cut all her hair off. She finally started shaving . Dang. Sit down. All right. Youre driving, mr. Brown. Ms. Hattie, get in the backseat, please. Ow you cant ride with us. We gonna drop her off at the animal shelter. Hey, can we put the other girl in the car so we can balance out the ugly . Yes, baby. Come on, girl. God, i cant look at her in this mirror likelook at that what the what . Start the car, mr. Brown. Okay. [imitates car engine noises] its the starter. [both make revving noises] listen to it. Were only going to the store, mr. Brown, not the indy 500. Okay, okay. Mmhmm. You pull to a stop sign. What happens . Oh, yeah, baby. Make it bounce. Make it bounce. Yeah bounce it high oh yeah whatwhat are you doing . All right, make it bounce, baby what are you doing . Im flipping switch, baby. Bam oh, yeah. Look at that3 wheels. Ah [mr. Brown laughs] stop it now, a Police Cruiser comes slowly up behind you. What do you do . Its the popo throw the stuff out throw the stuff out im not going down by myself weve been caught up in a low speed chase oh, man the ghetto bird we on tv hey, cora, shes not with me shes not with me plato. Plato. Whos plato . Oh, son, thats easy. Plato was that dude that kicked it with mickey and goofy. Oh. He is not. Plato is a greek philosopher, sweetheart. A greek philosopher . Yes. Why would a greek philosopher want to hang out with mickey and goofy . I mean, that doesnt make any sense. What are you all teaching these kids . What . What are you talking about . Joaquin, come on, lets go upstairs so i can help you with your homework. Mmhmm. Come on, sweetie. Well, i hope he dont get a f. What . Huh. What are you doing . Writing a letter. What you writing . This chick in my daggone anger management class tried to steal my sunflower seeds, and i got to write a letter to make amends. We all know how you feel about your sunflower seeds. Okay. Wait, so you actually walked away from a fight . No, i didnt say all that. I mean, she ran. I tried to catch her. Huh, i got to get in better shape. Wow, i hadnt made you laugh in a long time. Yeah. Its good to see you trying. Thanks, thanks. Hey, you better go up there and help your brother with his homework, because miss cora thinks that plato is some greek philosopher. And shes supposed to be a schoolteacher. Ha ha. Please. Wow well, isnt this a role reversal. Would you like to come into my home . Before you start, i didnt come here to fight. Good, cause im already writing one letter. Is will around . Yes, he is. Would you like for me to get him for you . Yes. Willie . Willie baby you think he heard me . The neighbors heard you, tanya. Hmm. What . Whats going on . You have a visitor. Is that how you guys announce it up in lockdown . Hey, will. Hey. [tanya whistles] okay. Well, you know what . I hate to miss a tender moment, but im gonna go have some drinks with my friends from a. A. Well, if you need me, call me, willie. And can you give the kids a kiss for me, all right . Bye, cutie patootie booty. Hmm. Why couldnt she just use her key . Why would she have a key . I mean, like, if youre fishing, you can stop. No, will, i didnt come to fish, i came to talk. Talk about what . How are the kids . Theyre fine. Yeah . Well, joaquin told me about briannas tiny shirt incident. Yeah, and it was handled. I know. Yeah, it seems like youve been handling everything around here pretty well. I dont have a choice. Yes, you do, will. But dont you think i have been punished for long enough . I made a stupid, stupid mistake, and thats all it was. To me, it was betrayal. I give you that, will, but how do we get past it . Sasha, i needed you. I needed you and you werent there. You wouldnt let me be there will, from the time you got suspended, you shut me out. And then when you wanted to talk, you called your mama and your exfiancee. I didnt call my mother or my fiancee. You talked to everybody but me. I was there the whole time, will, but you didnt see me. So you got with troy . For the last time, i was simply talking to that man, and he got the wrong idea. Whatever. Whose fault was that . Look, its getting late. Youyou want to see the kids, or what . Go to hell, will. Psst, derek, whats the answer to number 1 . Give me the answer to number 1. Hurry up. C. C . Okay. Whats the answer to number 2 . Give me number 2. I got to go number 2. A. A . As in apple . A. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, and 15. Whos talking . Youre talking. Whyd you what is this . Its paper. These are my answers shut up let me see number 1. Where did this come from . Where did this come from . From the paper factory. See, they cut down trees and then they make mr. Brown derek threw the paper at me and i said, derek, dont touch derek . You threw that paper. Butbut out of my class. What . Now. I cant believe this. Out of my class. Imyou ought to be shame call me. Youre shaming yourself. Thank you. The shamethese kids nowadays will steal if you mr. Brown, why was he sending you the answers . cause hes jealous of me. I think its that dark skinned light skinned thing. Thathes just jealous. Mr. Brown, i dont know what im going to do with you. I really dont. I can think of something to do with you. [mr. Brown coughs] i still cant believe you sold me out in drivers class like that well, you dont get to be my age without having a few tricks up your sleeve, young whippersnapper. Hmm. Well, howd you pass the test . Oh, that was easy. I made a deal with the instructor. A deal . Yeah, a deal. I told her if she gave me a passing grade, id give her a Little Something on the side. What did you have to give her . You. [doorbell rings] get the door. Me . Yes, you. Dejah . Oh surprise take one for the team. Be careful. Ooh, ooh. Uhoh. Uhoh she bit him, she bit him. Bit him right in the face. Whoa im not afraid to ask older girls for they phone numbers, unlike somebody else i know. I just walk up to em. I just be like, yo, baby. Yo, yo, yo, baby. Baby, you gonna give me your digits, or what . You know . Thats just how i do. Yeah yeah, they walk away. Look, but, see, they walk away smiling. Yeah. All right, let me go ask him. Hey, dad, can kevin spend the night . Yeah. No. I believe he was talking to me. He couldnt have been talking to you. You a visitor. I dont see your name on the mortgage, on the light bill, on the gas. I dont see your name anywhere on these bills. Now, you a longterm visitor, but a visitor, nonetheless. Curtis, stop it. Baby, im serious. I keep telling him the house is over capacity. Now the last time you had a friend come over here, you stole the motorcycle. And i said no. Malik, its fine. Kevin can spend the night. Thank you, auntie ella. Does my word mean anything, ella . No, not when it does not agree with me. Put these towels over there. Good morning, family. Dont you mean good afternoon . I was tired, pops. I had a hot date with miranda last night that went into overtime. If your overtime doesnt include a check and benefits, i dont want to hear about it. Well, it didnt come with a check, but it definitely came with benefits. [ laughs ] okay, you know what, calvin . Now, im serious. You gotta do something, brother, because im not here to support a grown man, okay . So you are gonna have to get a job. Calvin, your father is right. Since you did not graduate, play time is over. Hold on. Its bad enough i have to move back home. Now i got to get a job, too . And a real one. Im not talking about one of those quick get rich hustles. Thats right. Its time to man up, brother. Be a man. You right. You right, c. J. Im gonna look for a job today, right after i get my nap. Curtis. Hmm . Okay, baby, what you doing . Dont worry. I got this. Curtis, wait now. Hes trying to get some rest. You gonna wake him up. Hes trying to rest. Thank you, pop. Youre welcome. And after i give him this concussion, he gonna rest real good. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. Dont run. Now, dont run. Come on. Pop. Curtis when you realize you need to switch to verizon, its a reality check. I had my reality check when id be sitting there with my friends who had their verizon phones and id be sitting there like mines still loading i couldnt get email. I couldnt stream movies. I couldnt upload any of our music. Thats when i decided to switch. Now that im on verizon, everything moves fast. With verizon, i have that reliability. Im completely happy with verizon. Verizons 4g lte is the most reliable and in more places than any other 4g network. Period. Thats powerful. Verizon. Get the nokia lumia 928 for free. People have been daring them to clean up tough messes. My fans think a paper towel cant handle this. That is tough when wet. [ peggy ] grab viva and break the rules on all your tough messes. [ peggy ] grab viva and break the rules all the goodness of milk, all the deliciousness of hersheys syrup. Man, come on, kevin. You dont want none of this. I keep telling you, dont bring that star stuff in here. Ill smack it all the way to karetha house. Man, your defense so weak, the only d you get is on your report card, man. See, keep talking out of that mouth. Show me something. All right, im gonna show you something. Oh look at that. I let you do that. You let me just break your ankles . You want to see that again in slow. Motion . Thats why i wont even play with you anymore. Malik . Yeah. There is no maid around here. You and kevin left two plates on the table. Go move them. Actually, its three plates. Uncle curtis, i gotta clean your plate, too . Watch it, watch it, watch it. Uhoh ah uhoh calvin look at him where you going, boy . Guess whos got not one, not two, but three job interviews lined up for today . Wait, wait. Im talking about real jobs, right . Im talking places that validate. Yeah. Thank you aw, praise him, baby curtis. Thank you i went ahead and took you and moms advice, sent a bunch of resumes out online, and boom boom boom boom, boom, baby. Boom, boom, boom, baby. Boom boom thats wonderful i got a few job interviews. Oh, show me. Show me, show me, show me. Curtis. Dont play. Now, you going too far. Show me, show me, show me. How far do you have to go, baby . Well, ones downtown, and the other two are in buckhead. Oh, well, then, you need to go before youre late. Wait, wait, wait. Do you have your resumes . Theyre right here. You got directions . Yeah. Pencils, pens, and paper . Baby, baby. He going to a job interview, not Elementary School. Okay, okay. Baby, listen, before you get on the freeway, potty. Oh, yeah. Good looking out. Be breezy. Curtis. I dont know about this, but somebody has been trampling all in my plants. Oh, baby them kids. Them kids. Ill get em. Ill get em. Good. Whew do not tell me that none of your interviews went well. Well, the first two went okay, but the last one, the one i really wanted, it was tough. Baby, what happened . Well, the guy interviewed me for over an hour, and, man, after all that, you know what he said to me . I dont even want to know what he said. He looked me in my eyes and said, when can you start . That means you got the job. That means you got the job . Yep, pops, i got the job. He got the job. Baby, he got the ah he got the. Curtis. Are you crying . No, im not crying. You are crying okay, well, hell yeah, im crying, okay . So, where will you be working . Youre looking at the newest employee for l. F. Johnson and associates. [ crying ] l. F. Johnson and associates. [ babbling ] its an Investment Firm downtown. Its an Investment Firm downtown. Curtis. [ babbling ] baby, stop playing. Baby, this makes me feel so good. Its a good day. You know what this means . That means he can save money. He can save money. I can save money. No more college bills. No more of his car insurance. No more manis, no more pedis. Whoo no more facials. No more facials . Mmhmm. When do you start . Tomorrow. All right. Well, we have got to give you the dos and donts for the first day. Oh, yeah. Good idea. Have a seat. Good idea, baby. Okay, on your first day, you need to be the first one there and the last one to leave. Thats a good one. Matter of fact, you need to go on over there. Go park in the parking lot and just sleep overnight. You should be there. No, no, dont smile. Some people think smiling is a form of weakness. Oh, thats true. You got to be hard. Hard. You gotta be hard. Here. Like this. Look like you in pain. Im hard. Hold your head up. Im here to work and im hard. You gotta look like that on your first day. All day. And, look, do not flirt with the coworkers, okay . cause they can get you with sexual harassment. Oh, hold up. Its okay if they flirt with me first, right . No, its never okay if you want to keep your little job. Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Maybe i shouldnt take this job, then. Curtis you be hard. Be hard. Thank you. Be hard. Im gonna be hard. You be hard. Put your mouth over your teeth. How you gonna walk, babe . Walk hard. Im walkin in. Hey, you. How you gonna walk, babe . Show em how to walk, babe. Im here. You here. Youre walking too fast. Come up slow. This the plan. The girls said we need to meet them 30 minutes before the movie starts, okay . So we really need to leave sooner. Hold on, hold on. Are you sure your dad will let us go by ourselves . Because we cannot let the girls see your dad dropping us off. Youre right about that one. You know what, when he comes in, lets be nice to him. Compliment him. He likes that. I can do that. Hey, whats up, fellas . Hey, mr. Payne. Hey. You know, i like your shirt. Its a nice color for you. You know, it really brings out your eyes. Kevin, its a uniform shirt. I know. I just like how it matches your pants. Like i said, kevin, its a uniform. Its a nice uniform. Okay, kevin, calm down. Whats going on with you . What you guys want . Oh, we dont want nothing. We just want to go for a walk, get some fresh air, you know . Might even just stop by the movies. So yall want to meet some girls, and you dont want the girls to see me dropping you off at the movies. Come on, dad. Why would we do that to you, huh . Come on, man we gotta stick together, man. I aint even gonna play you like that, man. Yeah. Man, why would i even do yeah, you right. Thats what we want to do. Yeah, okay. Here you go. Heres a couple of extra dollars. Bring me back some candy. Okay, wait a minute, dad. This is 30. You cant go to the movies with 30 bucks . No. In my day, we went to the movies with 50 cents. Okay, no sound and no color. Thats right, and make sure you come back right after the movies, too. All right. But you know, mr. Payne, i really do like your shirt. Okay, kevin, youre starting to scare me. All right, fellas. [ cellphone rings ] hey, tanya, i was just about to call you. Yeah, jazmine and janine went to do the girl scout thing, and the boys just left to go to the movies. I was thinking we could get together. You cool with that . Im gonna jump in the shower. Ill meet you right there [ tires screeching ] kevin malik malik license and registration please. Whats this . Uhh, its my Geico Insurance id card, sir. Its digital, uh, pretty cool right . Maybe. You know why i pulled you over today . Because im a pig driving a convertible . Tail lights out. Fix it. Digital insurance id cards. Just a click away with the geico mobile app. But if your skin feels tight and dry it could be a sign of damage. [ female announcer ] get a healthier clean with neutrogena® ultra gentle cleanser. Unlike ordinary cleansers that can overpenetrate and damage skins healthy barrier our breakthrough formula cleans gently without the damage, yet removes dirt, oil, even eye makeup. So clean really is healthy. [ female announcer ] ultra gentle cleanser. Neutrogena®. 1 dermatologist recommended skincare. [ female announcer ] now your most dazzling accessory can be your smile. With new colgate optic white dual action toothpaste. Its dual action formula shines and whitens over two shades more than a leading whitening toothpaste. So with new colgate optic white dual action the only accessory you need to shine is your smile. Colgate optic white dual action. Whiter teeth in one week. Try optic white mouthwash. To whiten more, use the whole line from colgate optic white. Hi. Hey, how you doing . I just spoke to kevins parents. They said they were on their way. Right. Its all like a bad dream. Yeah, well, you know kevin. Hes a tough guy, so hell pull through. I dont understand why someone just do that, just keep going on. Kevins parents said that the police got the guy. He was drunk. Dad, can i have a minute alone with him . Yeah, sure, but dont take too long. You know, hes about to go into surgery soon, all right . Yes, sir. All right, ill be right outside. You made us miss the movie. Its all right, though. It didnt get good reviews anyway. This your way of getting girls . Its not the its not the way. Girls usually dont like guys thats in nightgowns. Look. I dont know if you can hear me or not. Please, dont die on me, okay . Youre my best friend. Who else will i hang out with . Who else will i dunk on . Youre like a brother to me. Just please dont die on me, okay . Just please dont die on me. Okay . Hey, hey, calvin boy, you sharp. Boy, you lookin mighty clean. Mmhmm. Lookin so fine, you should be on the cover of a magazine. Whats up, calvin . You on your lunch break . No. Im on permanent break. I got fired. What . I say we march. Floyd, shut up. Calvin, what happened . Man the guy in the office kept bossing me around, so i got hard, and i told him off. Telling me to do this and do that. Stack the papers here. Dont stack the papers there. File the papers. Go get me some coffee. I aint gettin you no coffee thats right, son. I mean, i cant stand when people come all up in your spot telling you what to do, how to do it, where to do it, when to do it. Please kiki huh . Clean them clippers. Yes, sir. So did you tell your boss . He was my boss. What . Calvin. Stupid. So what are you gonna do now . I say we march. Shut up i want to march. Im gonna hide out here. If i tell my dad, hell kick me out. You know what you gotta do now, youngster. You gotta go out and get another job. I know, but i dont know what i want to do. Yo, you should go to the post office. My cousin just got put on there. He is getting paid i mean, he keep getting mauled by dogs, too, but thats what benefits is for, okay . You know, you could be a male escort. I did it for a couple years, and i was pimping these old broads out they Social Security checks. Hey. [ snaps fingers ] maybe i could get a job here cutting hair. Can you cut hair . To make money like that, ill cut anything you want. Ill cut hair, grass. Ill even cut the lights on and off. Boy, you got to study for years and years and years before you can be as professional as myself and earn money just like that. I mean, look what you could have if you owned a place like this right here . Boy, i am paid for real, though. And you know what . Once you cut that one customer right, hell keep coming back again and again. The next thing you know, your business is growing, cause its a growth industry. Get it . Ha growth industry. Hair grow never mind. Im down. When do i start . Oh, you can start right now. [ laughter ] malik, baby, youve been out here for hours. Are you okay . Im fine. I really miss kevin, though. Well, baby, dont worry about him. He he will pull through. Auntie ella, what if he doesnt . Dont think like that. Dont say that. Kevin is a strong young man, and you have to be strong for him. Yeah, i know. I mean, hes my best friend, though. I dont know what id do without him. Lets just keep praying for him. [ door opens ] great news. I just talked to kevins parents, and his surgery went well. Hes gonna be all right. Ah thats great can we go see him . Well, lets let him rest for a little while, and well go see him later, all right . Thanks, dad. All right, boy. See . That boys going places going right out to take the trash. [ laughs ] whoa hey, mr. Payne hey, mr. Payne. Hey, curtis payne is in the house [ laughs ] whoo what you doing here, curtis payne . why are you yelling, floyd . im just happy to see you, my brother curtis payne came to get a haircut. Oh, no, no. We all backed up right now. Come back next week. I dont see anybody here, delante. But sometimes you can feel the customers coming, and they on their way. [ knocking on door ] excuse me. Okay, now i done took out the trash. I done cleaned the bathroom. Whats next . [ gasps ] what you doing here . Uh. Getting a haircut. Yeah, kiki. Take a little off the top and taper it in the back. Keep the waves. Yeah, dont calvin, arent you supposed to be at work . Wheres your suit . Uh, its casual friday. Today is tuesday. But you know what, mr. Payne . Its wednesday in china. Curtis. Dont mess with that. What the hell is going on . Okay, look, pops. I got laid off. Laid off you got fired. Kiki ooh why you didnt just tell me that . Because i knew you would kill me. Calvin, i wouldnt have killed you. [ laughter ] yeah, he would okay, okay. But you still should have told me. Look at the bright side. You dont have a bright side. I know what i want to do now. Whats that . Im gonna be a barber. What the hell . A barber . After i done spent all that money on college, you tellin me i wasted my money on college, and you want to be a barber . For you to do something you could have done out of Elementary School . Oh, come on wait a minute. Should we be offended . See . Well, pop, i really want to cut hair. And i really want to whup your ass. But you were shouting earlier, remember . Ooh remember . I was warming up. For what . Come on, i want to talk to you. Okay, lets talk. Come on. Im gonna stay right here. We can talk right here. I dont want to stay right here. Come on, curtis. Come on, curtis. Curtis. Come on, come on. Calm down, mr. Payne. Run, calvin, run run aah oh yes, 911 . Theres a big violent black man chasing after this little old bitty white woman. Shes a little damsel. Say you right out front . Look out the window . Wow where were yall when my store got broke in . Itand were talking tome gloria, talking about the walmart low price guarantee backed by ad match. Oj . They had a better price. Walmart will match it at the register. Really . Really cool ready . Wow thats the walmart low price guarantee backed by ad match. Bring in ads from your local stores and see for yourself and you said girls dont like guys in nightgowns. Man, you heard that . Yeah. Just to let you know, youre like a brother to me, too, man. Thanks, man. Thanks. So, yeah, ladies, did kevin tell you that i was in this accident, as well . Ah, i remember it so vividly. cause it was yesterday. It was raining that night. I was glistening as i walked outside. Morning, dad. Morning. Whered you get the wall street journal . Huh . Oh, from the. What do you call it . The neighbors porch . Right. You stole their newspaper . I did not steal it. It is a wellknown principle of common law that any newspaper not taken inside by 7 30 a. M. Is free game. Its, um, 7 15. Ah, theyre dead asleep. I checked. Captioning made possible by Sony Pictures television imagine a new level refined, perfected. At pixel level. Breathtaking. New loreal texture perfector. Advanced skincare with two powerful ingredients that work with skin. Refine texture reduce pores diminish lines for every skin type. Even close up, skin looks remarkable. New youth code texture perfector. Only from loreal paris. Texture perfected. Were worth it. Oh, man, where is sara . Were going to be so late. Where you guys, uh, headed tonight . Rhonda levines Bachelorette Party. I thought you went to that a couple of weeks ago. No, no, that was her engagement party, and then next week, im throwing her a bridal shower, and then a week from saturdays the rehearsal dinner, and then im a bridesmaid in her wedding, and then, with any luck at all, ill never have to see her again. So what kind of Bachelorette Party is this gonna be tonight . Rowdy . Lot of drinking . Well, i certainly hope so. A stripper . God willing. Hey, do yourself a favor and dont judge his body based on mine, cause. Its not fair to him. Right. By the way, honey, do you have a few singles . Thats very funny, yeah. Hi. Oh, no, no, no. Carrie, carrie, dont get him worked up. Youre gonna make us late. Me . You know how late we are because of you . Ok, so you had the bigger room growing up. Get over it. All right, lets just go. Come on. Im parked out front. What are you going to do tonight . Im, uh, just going to coopers with the guys. Shoot some pool. Ok, well, have fun. Sara ok, byebye. Hoo thank god its friday i thought the weekend would never get here. So where we off to tonight, kids . Jazz at the cotton club . Prizefight at the Yankee Stadium . It is friday, right . Yeah, just not in the year that you think. Oh, well, whatever you kids are into is fine, just as long as we have some fun. So how bout it lets 23 skidoo actually, dad, sara and i are going to a Bachelorette Party, and dougs going to hang out with some of his friends. Oh. Uhhuh. We didnt know you were expecting to go out tonight. Well, just a lifetime of habit, i suppose. Friday night, big night. Well, anyway, you kids have fun. Im going to head back down and see if i cant get that heater to stop leaking. Methane gas once and for all. Oh, god, you guys, i feel so bad. Hes been so lonely since tessie died. I know. And he put on canoe and everything. Sara im going to go wait in the car