Theres a fuzzy bunny rabbit on the train theres a fuzzy bunny rabbit on the train and hes wiggling his nose and his little bunny toes theres a fuzzy bunny rabbit on the train. Okay, what else we got on that train . A kitty cat. A doggy. Kevin smith cause hes too fat to ride a plane okay, i heard kitty cat. Oh. Theres a kitty cat ariding on the train god, you know, i dont know why this guys wife isnt here watching this stuff. If i were her, id be here every show. Theres a kitty cat ariding on the train. Thanks, everybody. See you next week. Yay hes a good singer. Yeah, ive been catching his Library Shows since there were only, like, three or four kids here. You should have been here, man. Those were the shows. Oh, looks like somebody made a friend. I know. Arent they cute together . Adorable. Im lois. Hi, im hope. Any relation to bob hope . laughs im kidding im kind of known for having a twisted sense of humor. Oh, dont worry, i watch regis and kelly. I can handle it. Oh, so, you know. This is my husband ben. Hi, glad to know you. Gosh, you know, our little scotty seems to be having such a good time with your son. Would you be interested in getting them together for a playdate . Oh, that sounds like a wonderful idea. Look at them. Theyre getting along like Billy Bob Thornton and his cat. Woman billy bob . Leave me alone im taking a bath stewie, do you want to be the autobots or the decepticons . Whats with all these labels, man . Autobots, decepticons, gay, straight just pick a few robots, and lets party. Hey, whats going on in here . Oh, hello, brian. Were playing transformers. Oh, cool. Whos this little guy . Its my new friend, scotty. Do you mind . Were busy. Oh. Hi, doggie. You want to play with us . Scotty, scotty, its fine. Its fine. You dont have to. He doesnt know transformers. Yeah, actually, iid love to play. Whwho should i be . Should i be one of these guys . Iill be this guy. Whos this guy, huh . Whats this guys story . Thats optimus prime. You cant be him. Scottys optimus prime. Oh, all right. Well, ill be, ill be this guy. How about this guy . growls what was that . Did you just growl . What robot growls . Thats starscream. Hes a decepticon. Im the decepticons. Look, why dont you just beat it . All right, all right, relax. Illill just, ill be this guy over here. Thats heman. Were playing transformers. Well, maybe this is the one where heman visits. Brian, how is heman supposed to get to cybertron . Hey, up, up, and away, right . Heman doesnt fly. Look, why are you being such a dick about this . Im just trying to join in. Yeah, you dont know what youre talking about, okay . You sound like. Thats not fair. I think im doing pretty well. No, you dont know the characters, brian. You dont know the characters. If you could hear yourself right now, you would not stop throwing up. You cant just put heman in transformers world, all right . He wouldnt be able to get to cybertron because he lives in eternia, and eternia is in an entirely different dimension. He can just take his rocket ship. Get. Get out of here. Oh, im getting some steam. Picking up steam here, scotty. Youd better look out. I dont feel so well. Uh, kind of bad timing, but gin. Hey, lois, that notstewie kid fell over oh, my god, hes unconscious peter, what happened . eh, you know me, lois, i dont pry. Peter, hes not moving we gotta get him to the hospital you got it, lois to the peterrang laughter fades out laughter fades back in crashing just for the record, i was at the hospital for a brief moment. Mrs. Griffin, its a good thing you brought this child in. Why . Is he okay . Im afraid hes very sick. In fact, his labwork shows he is suffering from hodgkins lymphoma. Oh, my god are you saying scotty has cancer . i dont know, i didnt read the whole wikipedia entry, but the good news is that what he has is highly treatable with radiation first, and if necessary, chemotherapy. coughs, clears throat oh, for gods sake. Look, do you have any idea how expensive medical school is . No, i dont. Well, its probably pretty expensive. Lois we came as soon as we got your call. Oh, hope, ben, im so sorry to have to tell you this, but scotty has. Cancer. We know. You do . Yes, were aware of his condition. But you shouldnt have brought him to the hospital without talking to us first. Why wouldnt we bring him . He was unconscious. He clearly needed treatment. Oh, no, he doesnt receive treatment. What . were christian scientists. We dont accept medical care for ourselves, and we dont permit it for our children. But your son has cancer wait a minute. Christian science. Is that, is that that thing all them gaybo hollywood actors do to keep their stuff away from other guys butts . Dont you understand . Scotty needs help. And hell get it. Through faith. Thats right. We will heal him with the power of prayer. Yyou cant just let them just walk out of here oh, i think theyll be back. Are those their keys . No, theyre my keys. And they said because of their faith, they dont believe in medicine. Mom, i think theres a lot of religions that do that. Well, that may be, meg, but that poor little baby has cancer, and theyre just gonna take him home and pray over him . well, thats what they do. They believe that disease is just an illusion. And the only way to fight it is to make your faith stronger. Illusions . you want to talk about illusions . if you die tomorrow, you think were gonna be devastated but you know what . were just gonna go out and buy another dog and maybe this dog will fetch a stick and bring me my slippers instead of prattling on about the pros and cons of various religions chris, i think youve had too much sugar cereal. I think i havent had enough peter, i have to go talk to the jennings and ask them to reconsider getting treatment for scotty. Im going with you, lois. Yeah, ill go, too. All right, but try to keep your mouth shut, okay . You have a habit of saying the wrong thing. During his 22year reign, this french monarch known as the spider king had an ongoing feud with charles the bold, duke of burgundy. Peter . Who was king louis xii . Ooh, im sorry, peter, we were looking for king louis xi. Ah, damn it, i knew that ah, well, bleep me in the bleep with a big, black bleep . King louis xi. Tim, select. doorbell rings oh, lois, peter, come on in. We were just praying for scottys recovery. If youd like, you can join us. Well, thats what we wanted to talk to you about. Youd better not just have church toys. Look, i dont mean to question your religious beliefs, but as a mother, i just cant bear the thought of little scotty not getting the help he needs. You really neednt worry, lois. Scotty will get all the help he needs. From where . From here. Science and health with key to the scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy . Let me see that. This is your god . a woman . well, shes the founder of our faith. Oh, really . So with this book from the 1800s, you can pray away paralysis or terminal illness . Yes, we would pray for anyone whos afflicted. Well, then ill tell you who you should really be praying for. Outofwork clowns. I need 40. Ben, hope, please, i just want to do anything i can to help your son. Well, you can, lois. Stay and pray with us. I think youll find that with gods love and a true belief, all manner of miracles are possible. Look, im a churchgoer, too, but sometimes prayer isnt enough. He needs professional medical care. You know, lois, this couch would be perfect for one of your red wine passouts. Look, we appreciate your concern, lois, but scotty is our son, and we have to tend to him as we see fit. But your son is sick he needs help um, does your god also not believe in putting out snacks for the guests . Come on, lois. I think were wasting our time here. Theyre obviously very committed to their beliefs. But their beliefs are crazy, brian. I dont know whos crazier these people or those seventhday adventists. Im a methodist. We believe that the lord is our savior, and we remember him by going to church and praising him every sunday. Im a seventhday adventist. We believe all the same things that you believe, but we go to church on saturdays. What. . laughing crazily gagagagagahh whoohoohoohoo hoohoo hoohoo hoohoo hoohoo i know its frustrating, lois, but the fact is, there are no laws that say those people have to take their child to the doctor. How can that be . Children are citizens, too. They should have rights. Well, its a tricky area, lois. You could file a suit, but that could take months, and even then, theres no guarantee the court wouldnt support the parents right to practice their religion. How could we live in a country that would allow a sick child to die . Look, this country was founded by people who came here to escape religious persecution. They made sure we all had a right to religious freedom, and its my job to protect that. So theres nothing we can do . You could contribute to the policemans ball. What . what does that have to do with a sick child . Look, its a nice night out, youre eating at a fancy buffet, the captain does his al pacino. Joe, were really more of a firemans ball family. Oh, yeah . Are the firemen gonna come and put out the rape . sighs peter, we cant let this happen. Ii mean, were parents. What if this was one of our kids . Its too bad were not the ateam. cause then we could just go in there and steal that kid. I dont know about that, peter. Kidnapping is against the law. Then i could dip my head in brown paint and galumph around europe looking for my hot daughter. Although is it any worse than what theyre doing . Theyre letting a kid die. Its too bad were not dragonheart. Then we could just fly around on a dragon and forget about all this. You know what . Thats exactly what we should do. What . What the hell are you talking about . Im talking about us going in there and taking that kid and getting him some help. I mean, i know its wrong, but its better than just letting him die. Hey, thats not a bad idea. Its like were doing a public service. Like those idiots who get together to paint a school. This underachieving, crimeridden school is now fawn beige, thanks to guilty white people with no weekend plans others yay peter, what the hell . Wheres your ski mask . Its kind of hard to breathe in those things, so i just dressed up like harry potter. sighs all right, lets go. Lois, if anything should happen to us, i want you to know, i havent been happy for a long time. Yes, peter, youve told me that, like, ten times. All right, all the lights are out. They must be asleep. Its go time. Peter, what the hell was that . Thats what you do, lois. Okay, now, take this walkietalkie and confirm that im at the various checkpoints. Oh. Okay. Peter up on a telephone pole . Check. Peter cutting the wires to the alarm . Check. Van full of peters who all have stern faces because theyre about to pull off a heist . Check. Upsidedown peter who isnt revealed to be upsidedown until the camera spins around and shows that he is . Check. Peter in an open airplane door slapping other peters on the back as they parachute out . Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go check super gymnastic asian peter contorted into a box that will be delivered into the house . Hai peter who hasnt answered because something has gone terribly wrong . Peter . Peter, are you there . Now, lets go get that kid. Okay, hes in the left upstairs bedroom. All right, you keep the car going in case theres trouble. All right, i got him, lois. quietly peter, what the thats not scotty thats ben oh. Well, you know, we aint known this family that long. Im still learning everybodys names. Damn it, put him back and go get scotty, the baby okay, so ill go get the baby, and while im doing that, maybe you do something about that snatchy tone. Lois, is this the right one . shh peter yes. Now, come on. Hope what was that . Ben i dont know. It came from scottys room. tires screech all right, we did it yes we got the kid and the treasure. Peter, theres no treasure. Oh, well, never mind, then. Peter stay tuned for more. Tv announcer we now return to onehour crime show where the murderer is the most famous person in the credits. I think youre gonna want to take a look at this. What do we got . Looks like somebody had a rough night out. Boy, you can say that again. Better get the coroner down here. Hes still got his watch and his wallet. Guess that rules out robbery. Stabbed 17 times in the chest; id say the murderer knew the victim intimately. Good evening, im tom tucker with some breaking news. A local kidnapping has rocked quahog tonight. Rocked quahog . Really . The whole town is r the family maybe. Is rocked. But the whole all right, well, in any event, we now go live to asian reporter tricia takanawa. Lets see how much shes rocked by all this. Tricia . Tom, im standing here with mayor adam west, with the latest information about the disappearance of young Scotty Jennings. What can you tell us, mr. Mayor . Please, mr. Mayor is my father. Call me john mayor. Your body is a wonderland, by the way. What is the city doing to help rescue the missing boy . Well, were looking for this child using all the latest technology, including the newest, most advancedd multimedia milk caons. Help me im missing help why are you still eating breakfast . im kidnapped why are you turning me the other way . im still here Scotty Jennings . Oh, my god i know she was upset, but do you think lois wouldve gone so far as to kidnap him . Of course she did. Shell do anything for attention. I know. Shes like the boy who cried wolf. sheep bleating wolf, wolf did you hear that . Somebody needs help lets go screams oh, my god, charles oh, my god, ill run and get help. No, no, weve got to carry him we cant leave him here; theres a wolf um, theres not really a wolf. What . tell my kids i love em. Charlie charlie this was so funny in my head when i planned it. Dont you worry, scotty. Were gonna get you to the hospital and get you the medical attention you need. Yeah, hang in there, buddy. When this is over, we can get some ice cream. Me and lois can get some ice cream, not you. Theyre gonna be sticking needles in you everywhere. You know, peter, you were right, this is actually kind of a rush. I mean, look at us, were like thelma and louise. Yeah, but we all know that didnt end well for them. sirens wailing you know what . Lets just turn ourselves in. I got a great lawyer. And he says, worst case, eight to 12 years. And when we get out, well still have the rest of our lives ahead of us. women screaming crash goodbye, terrible women. Oh, my god this is tricia takanawa. I am standing outside quahog hospital, where accused kidnappers lois and Peter Griffin have just arrived. Also arriving is my overprotective boyfriend, who is suspicious whenever i am called into work at night, even though ive been a reporter for years, tyrone. I thought i told you to mention my painting business. Lois, peter, stop right there. Youre under arrest for kidnapping. Im gonna have to ask you to hand over the baby and surrender. Joe, please get out of our way. I promise, when this is over, ill gladly go to prison for the rest of my life, but not until i bring this defenseless child into the hospital to get him the treatment he deserves. Uh, joe, we would like two tickets to the policemans ball. Too late tires screech there they are lois, please stop what youre doing and give scotty back to us i cant do that, hope. But weve entrusted our son into the lords hands. I know. And maybe thats why he ended up in my hands. The lord cant do everything, you know. Blasphemy heresy sodomy chuckles sorry, i dont even know whats going on. How you doin . Ben, hope, i know you dont believe in modern medicine, but you do believe in the power of prayer. Thats right. And through the years, when there was disease or infection, people of good faith would pray to god for a cure. Yes. Its what we do. Well, then isnt it possible that penicillin, vaccines and antibiotics are all actually answered prayers . And isnt it possible that the amazing men and women of medicine who brought about these miracles could be the instruments of gods answers to our prayers . Its good so far, lois. Try to work a few laughs in there if you can. Look, i believe life is sacred. And i know you want scotty to live a full life. laughs and if thats true, then i think its wrong for you to ignore what very well could be the lords will. I mean, whats the point in praying to god if youre just going to wipe your butt with his answers . Hope, ben, please let god answer your prayers. Please let your son get help. Well, i guess through the lords will, anything is possible. All right, lois. Scotty can have his treatment. Oh, thank you thank you, and god bless you both hey, everybody were all gonna get laid wild cheering tv announcer we now return to dracula in san francisco. Ooh. Well, thats why we have the lab. Well, i just got off the phone with hope, and it sounds like scottys gonna make a full recovery. You hear that, stewie . Looks like your Little Friends gonna be okay. Eh, i dont care about him. Ive got a new friend whos got leprosy. chuckles see, hes funny. Peter, are you actually reading that Christian Science book . Yeah, you know, i figured id give it a shot. I mean, wouldnt it be cool if you could pray really hard for something, and it actually happened . I am so happy for me. I deserve this. When do you think the queens gonna die . Brian closed captioning for family guy is brought to you in part whats that . Kfc go cup. [ female dispatcher ] we have a 1031 in progress. You take this one kid. [ car door opens, closes ] [ crunches ] [ male announcer ] try crispy tenders and wedges. 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