Captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause stephen whats going on . Its purple night. Hey, everybody. Thank you so much. Yeah. Very nice. Welcome to the show, everybody. Thank you so much. Welcome welcome, everybody cheers and applause feels good. Thats very nice. You guys feel good . Welcome. Thank you so much. Well, that is that is you you know what you call that . You know what you call those people . That is a friday night audience right there. cheers and applause no doubt about it. Jon yeah stephen yeah. Which it definitely is. This is definitely friday and ill prove it because look right here. Ive got thursdays paper. And i bought it yesterday. You do the math, okay. Hey, have you seen this, speaking of headlines. Burger king unveiled a new menu item. Its called mac n cheetos. And its mac and cheese covered in cheeto dust and deep fried. cheers and applause yeah. I would give anything for that not to sound fantastic to me. Because its good. The fry at the end there gets you. That fry just pulls you in at the last minute. This. Food . Is the result of such advanced you listen carefully you can hear individual macaronis whispering kill me. Kill me. But remember, the mac n cheetos are available for a limited time only. And if you eat them, so are you. laughter applause theyll last forever. Theyll be here. A single serving of that will be here long after were all gone. Speaking of things that last forever, theres big news in researchers have just found that the Great Pyramid of giza is slightly lopsided, with the west side measuring about 5. 5 inches longer than the east side. Now, for thousands of years, we have marveled at the ability of ancient people to build an incredible monument with such precision. So i just want to say. In your face, ancient egypt your socalled Great Pyramid is 61 onethousandths of 1 off i guess its true what they say about ancient hebrew slave labor you get what you pay for jon oh, oh stephen sorry, no. Shoddy workmanship. Meanwhile, here in new york, its pride weekend. applause thats the pride. Thats the pride. It kicked off tonight with a huge rally, which according to the website, featured a performance by bob the drag queen. Some fans here. Im so glad bob the builder is finally living his truth. Bob the drag queen. Can we work it . Of course, the main event is the pride parade. Its a special day where the l. G. B. T. Q. Community takes to the streets to show the doubters that they can snarl traffic just as well as straight people. Local hero, a queens resident, named Nelson Hidalgo. Last saturday, hidalgo was arrested for a disturbance. And not the kind you usually hear about in queens a pigeon fighting over an old lady with a calzone. Im sorry that should have been a pigeon fighting over a calzone with an old lady. Jon reverse reverse reverse no, Nelson Hidalgo was arrested for blasting music from his van, which has 80 speakers in it. Which explains his bumper sticker, if this vans a rockin, dont come a knockin. Because no one will be able to hear you over the speakers. Now, hidalgo evidently cranked it up and ripped off the knob, or the knob just rattled off from all the vibrations, because complaints including one that came from the bullpen at citi field where the mets were taking on the braves. The coach was even overheard saying, whos on first . No, really, who . I cant hear you over the damn music even more impressive, when hidalgo was arrested, he was sitting in the passenger seat with a coors light. cheers and applause what seems to be the ob is there some kind of law against having a good time . There is . Its called an open container law . Ill drink to that. laughter then put that down over there. Then he told the arresting officer, i know its illegal, but its the weekend. cheers and applause thats nice. You know, the weekend. Out of jail and say, see you monday now, i really would liked to have met hidalgo in person. And i used all of the cbs resources at my disposal to try and get Nelson Hidalgo on the show tonight, and im not kidding. We cannot locate the guy. We even tried stepping outside and just listening. Nothing. So let me address him directly right over the television. Nelson, dont let johnny law push you around, my friend. Because no matter how many speakers are on your party van, youre still not the loudest person from queens. cheers and applause yeah hey now, say hello to our friend jon batiste and stay human, everybody. . . . cheers and applause stephen before we go any further, there is something i need to address. Like most shows, we here at the late show use closed captioning. Hearing impaired viewers, or our viewers at the gym, or anyone who has to watch the show on mute because my voice is too damn seductive. Come with me to the chamber of pleasure. cheers and applause lets go down. And, apparently, there was a slight mistake in the closed with our friend Michael Ian Black last week. He had just bought a hot tub and i was asking him about it. Jim . Stephen the other big news on you, and tell me if this is true, you bough a hot tub. Hell, yeah, i bought a hot tub stephen okay, seems like a simple conversation, no problem there. But this is what cbs broadcast on closed caption. I bought a hot Harriet Tubman. laughter applause this is problematic for so many reasons. I mean, for one, hot Harriet Tubman . Thats laughter applause thats redundant. Lets go down. laughter but id like to assure everyone Harriet Tubman. And also as it was captioned just moments later he does not spend most of his time in the hot Harriet Tubman. laughter applause by the way. Not true. Its not true he didnt say it. It was closed captioned. By the way, im officially turning down michaels invitation to join him in his hot Harriet Tubman. Im flattered. Its just not my scene. So, now that thats all fi would like to apologize to my hearing impaired viewers. Im sorry that the closed caption during my interview with Michael Ian Black were mistranscribed. I also want to apologize to Harriet Tubman, who helped free over 300 people, truly a great emancipator. And i hope we can put this unfortunate incident behind us. Now, stick around, weve got kevin hart after the break. Well be right back. Nexium 24 hour introduces new, easytoswallow tablets. So now, there are more ways, for more people. To experience. Complete protection from frequent heartburn. Nexium 24hr. The easytoswallow tablet is here. Spend 30 at target on everything they need for back to school. For a Little Something extra. Breyers Peanut Butter gelato, rich chocolate sauce. Peanut butter cups. Tonight is perfect. Can someone read me another story . Daddd . Mmm coming breyers gelato indulgences its way beyond ice cream. . Our longest lasting energizer max ever. Why be in the kitchen when you can be in the moment . Olive garden now offers catering delivery. We make the food and deliver it to your door. So you can enjoy whats important. . Feel warm inside. Feel our big beautiful candle. Feel glade. Sc johnson. What i love most about tempurpedic mattresses is that they contour to your body. It keeps us comfortable and asleep at night. Change your sleep, change your life, change to tempurpedic. Learn how you can change your sleep by requesting a free sample of tempur material. Call or click today. I am sebastian artois. Brewmaster. Risktaker. You might have heard its name. . . . applause stephen welcome back, everybody. But one of the biggest stars in the world. His latest project is the secret life of pets. Derek, you idiot. Did they all get away . Uhhh. That was a close one oh, nuts yes we got one oh, good for you guys. Yay oh, yes, tiny dog. We got your friend. Uhoh. Just ignore what just happened. Okay . Ahaha. Yes stephen please welcome, kevin hart . . . applause hello hello hello its amazing, isnt it . Good for you. Stephen people very excited about kevin hart. Oh, stop it stop that stephen wait a second. Thats an amazing response, but you must be used to that because youre one of the few comedians in the world, you sell out huge arenas. Like the o2 arena in london, Madison Square garden. And whats the big arena down in philly . From. We did 53,000 people. Im what do you call it, a big deal. Yeah. cheers and applause stephen thats nice. How do you play how do you play a joke to 53,000 people . How do you, like, hold a room like that, man . Well, i think i pride myself on making those rooms intimate rooms. Im a storyteller, so when you tell a story the beauty of doing it with an amazing audience is captivating the audience with every word until the punchline comes. I paint pictures but theyre realistic pictures. At the end of the day, you can put yourself in my shoes and you can see yourself in my stories because my stories are relatable. I dont separate myself. Stephen its good to know why people love you. I wouldnt want it to be a mystery. No, you have to make sure you never lose sight of reality, and regardless of any success that you have you have to maintain stephen you really think you can hold on to reality . Youre so huge. You hit 30 Million People on twitter today. I did everybody danced around the world. I tweeted, dance. I just hit 30 million. I want everybody to dance. And i really believe everybody danced. Stephen all right, all right. Youve got so many other things going. You have two movies out right now at the same time. You have the secret life of pets. Youve got Central Intelligence with dwayne johnson. Yes, thank you, thank you, man. Stephen secret life of pets you play kind of a militant white bunny. Stephen white bunny. Okay. I do not think of you as a militant white bunny. First of all, i took it because i wanted to play somebody white. laughter applause you know, i jumped at the opportunity. Stephen uhhuh. I said im not going to get this opportunity a lot. I said ill take it. Its a bunny. It dont matter. Hes white. I want to do it. The bunny is he is starting a revolution. This guy is in charge of taking this group of pets and turning them against humans. And i was like, thats me. I do that all the time. I brought my characteristic traits to the bunny. And they loved it. They allowed me to improv and play around as much as possible. It came out good. Stephen do you have pets of your own . I do have pets. I have two dogs. Stephen do you think when youre not around theyre doing the kinds of things these animals are doing . They have a secret life . 100 . I have a dobermanc and a minpin. Stephen whats a minpin . A minpin is a small version of what the big dog is. Stephen oh, minipincher. I did it as a joke. I bought it as a joke. When people come to my house, they say, oh wow, look at the big doberman hes got a little one, too stephen do people do that . No. Nobody has done it, and it has pissed me off. Its made me feel like the little one was a waste of money. Nobody gets it. Youre there for a punchline. Thats the only reason youre stephen i hope that dog is not watching right now. It would be really depressing to find out you were just there for a punchline. That dog was doing stuff when i was gone. That dog cooked potato salad one day, i know he did. Listen, i dont know how to make potato salad, and my lady cant cook. I came home, potato salad was on the table. Who cooked the potato salad . Had to be the dog. Stephen thats logical. 100 pure logic. Thats my dogs though, i love them. I have become a dog guy. My fiance has turned me into a dog guy. I wasnt, i can admit it. I was against pets. But see, thats what women do. Stephen were you against all pets . I was against bleep that could mess my house up. I didnt want nothing that could mess my house up. Stephen how did she turn you into a dog person . Its what women do, man. They make you do what you dont want to do. Thats what women do. cheers and applause thats a talent that women have. They beat you down. I dont know how she did it. I think she asked me for two years straight. And one day i might have been drunk and i was like, all and the next thing i know, we get these dogs. And now the dogs sleep in the bed. I have no sayso in it. My doberman, i woke up, this dogs respect level is so low. Her face is on my face. And im like, what are you doing . And shes going growling . Stephen youre talking about the dogs still, right . You crossed over between making you do things you dont want to do. My lady lets it happen. I dont even have control over my bed any. I come there, and the dogs are in the bed. I have to find a position to sleep in. And he looks for the comfort spot. And im like, thats me. Excuse me i dont want to wake anybody up. Stephen how about i sleep across the bottom of the bed right here . I take this nook version of the bed thats left for me. I dont explain about it. Stephen you also have other projects going at the same time. I dont know how you even have time to be here right now because youve also got a Digital Partnership called laugh out loud with lionsgate. Im going to be honest with you. I dont even know what day it is. Right now, im sleeping. This is how i sleep. Stephen its friday, its friday. Its friday here but i got to be someplace else tomorrow. I dont know what day its going to be there. I have to be out of the country. Honestly, im working a lot, man. I love the load that i have. You know, it is a lot, and i put a lot on my plate but at the end of the day god doesnt give you anything you cant handle. And im a Firm Believer that im not ly im doing it at the highest of my potential. Im not only handling it but im in love with it. Im in love with my craft. Im in love with the fact that im succeeding. cheers and applause stephen thats fantastic. Im happy, im happy. Stephen thats a great feeling. Thats an amazing feeling. Stephen can you hang on, and well talk a little bit more . What if i said no . Stephen you know what i would do . We would come back and i would weep into the camera for about five minutes. In that case i can hang on. Stephen well be right back with more kevin hart. When you can take your hands off the wheel to get out of a tight spot. When you can relax with your foot off the brake and stay put. 400 horsepower thats both smooth and controlled. Thats the more human side of engineering. This is the lincoln summer invitation, hurry in now to your dealer for limited time offers lease an mkc for 289 a month or get 0 apr for 60 months and Just Announced 1,000 dollars summer invitation bonus. America thought our pancakes were pretty special. But we knew we could do better. So we did. We made dennys new pancakes 50 fluffier with thats the dennys loveem or theyre free guarantee. Tmobiles coverage is unstoppable. And with extended range lte it reaches farther than ever. From the powder to the pavement, skylines, coastlines, out in the country, deep in the city. We got you covered. 311 million americans and counting. And we wont stop. Were going to prove just how wet and sticky your current gel antiperspirant is. Now, were going to show you how degree dry spray is different. Degree dry spray. Degree. It wont let you down. . . You got an earlymorningdad side, . . A how do i retire at 50 side. . Hang in there, dan. . Sure, you can keep the kitty side. . . Thats why theres nationwide, . . Helping to grow and protect your many sides. . No way, thats jacob degrom. Lets get his autograph. Jacob. Can we get your auto. Haha, yeah i get that a lot. Jacob and i could be identical twins. I dont think so. Well, maybe just related, haha. No way. Her like jacob degrom. But anyone could save money with geico. Geico, proud partner of the new york mets. . . . cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody welcome back. Were here with our friend kevin hart. Kevin, as we were saying before the break, 2016 has been an enormous year for you. Yes. Stephen four big movies this year. Two out at the same time right secret life of pets, right . So like, do you even know what youre here promoting right now . I have a pretty good idea. Stephen its a kevin hart project. Its a kevin hart project, i know im in it. The toughest thing when going to the movies is making a choice of which movie of myself that i want to watch. Go to the movies and im like i want to see me but which version of me . Do i want to me as the white guy . Thats what i call the bunny. Or do i want to see me in Central Intelligence . And sometimes i say forget it and i see both, repeating myself over and over again. Stephen well, i want to make sure that 2017 is just as big for kevin hart as 2016 was. That you have a full roster of blockbusters coming, so, wed like to do something right now. Were going to try to lock down your schedule for 2017. I like. Right here, right now. Stephen this is the late shows maybe coming soon. I like it. Stephen so i want to be clear, we have a series of projects id like to pitch to you right now. That i think would be great are you. They dont exist yet but we already made the poster for the movie because they say when you think of the movie, think of the poster first. It has to be visual. One, okay hollywood, i hope youre listening because these projects already have kevin hart attached to them. Are you on board . Im on board. I like it, i like the way you think. Stephen okay, im very excited about this new movie of yours, this first one coming up its called ultrasound, tag line is nap time is over. You play a rock n roll baby. Tell me whats exciting you about this project. First of all, the fact that guitar at that age. Thats exciting. Another thing, im big on being a sex symbol, as a baby, exposing your chest and having females following you. Stephen leaves very little to the imagination here. Youre a child prodigy, it turns out in this movie, who is actually already playing the guitar in the womb. Wow. Stephen thats the opening scene and an extremely painful birth because you bring the stratocaster with you. This ones gold. Stephen youre on board. Stephen this next one is exciting. This ones slightly more dramatic. Youre going to play the lead in a new period epic i hope, if we can get this going its called dog titanic, the tag line is the titanic this time with dogs. Youre playing the leo part right here, and its mutts who fall in love with purebreds in why do i look like im scared bleep of the dogs . Stephen because there is no place to take them for a walk. Theyre all down in steerage. I like that. Stephen you like this one . Stephen they just pee on the iceberg and it melts and it doesnt go down. cheers and applause you like this . I like it. Stephen this one im this one is called kevins heart. Its the heart wants what it wants. Its about a man whose heart leaves it because hes gotten too many broken hearts, and then he chases the heart for the rest of the movie until he finds out at the end that his heart was in his chest the whole time. Wait a minute, so this is a drama . Stephen oh, yeah, this is a relationship movie. First of all, this is the demographic im looking for. Any movie that i can do to show what im like without a heart is a strong movie to me. My question is when my heart leaves my body and i find out that my heart is almost like a little person, does that affect me, knowing i was an alien this whole time, or am i okay with this . Thats the thing with my character. Where do i go from here . Because im heartless. Which means this is a villain side to this and i get to bleep people up at some point in time. A perfect project for you. You see where i go, man. Stephen this is where you get to use your acting chops. Its you and keira knightley. Its called the embers of autumn. And look at the chemistry. Look at the chemistry between the two of you. You know what . Being that im engaged any time you get to work with a beautiful woman thats called legal cheating so ill take it. Ill take it right there. Stephen that is actually thats the sequel to embers of autumn. Legal cheating. This time embers of autumn, two, legal cheating. This time they do it. And it, this one im very excited about. This is and you me together. I hope we can do a project together because im such a fan. This is secret agent teacher friends. Assignment world cup and i dont have to tell you, you and i already know what this one is about. Its in the title. Look at the tattoos. Its a heart. Stephen one says best, and the other one says friends. Because we were separated as children. We were best friends as kids growing up next to each other, put we got separated and sent to different countries. Each became secret agents, diui local communities, who meet when were sent to the world cup and we realize weve always known each other. laughter so youre on board. Youre in. Youre in. I love it. I love it. Stephen and the tag lines the best, friendship is their only gooooal. Kevin, im so excited were going to be doing these together. Youre hurting me. Stephen the secret life of kevin hart, everybody well be right back with taylor schilling. cheers and applause . . . Clarence hey, youre yes, sir. You know, at the model year end clarence event, you can get a great deal on this 2016 passat. Steve. Yeah . Clarence is on a roll. Yeah. I wish theyd name an event after me. Same here. But the model year end becky event . Thats no good. Whatever you want to call it, dont miss the volkswagen model year end event. Hurry in for a onethousand dollar volkswagen reward card and 0 apr on a new 2016 passat. And here we have 1893, from the makers of pepsi cola. Im gonna swirl it. Im gonna smell it. Ahhh refined. 1893. Made with kola nut extract and real sugar. Boldly blended colas. [ school bell ringing] we were learning about how talented the ancient greeks were, and suddenly i traveled back in time i thought, . I could have been a writer. . Or an athlete i could have even been an architect i dont have to go back in time to do amazing things. I can start today. Lets feed him to the sharks squuuuack, lets feed him to the sharks yay and take all of his gold and take all of his gold ya and hide it from the crew ya. . Squuuuack, theyre all morons anyway i never said that. They all smell bad too. No you all smell wonderful i smell bad if youre a parrot, you repeat things. Its what you do. If you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. Its what you do. Squuuuack, its what you do. Crabfest is on at red lobster with sweet crab from the icy waters of alaska. Or try crab lovers dream with tender snow and king crab legs. Love crab . . . . cheers and applause stephen hey welcome back, everybody. Welcome back. My next guest tonight my next guest is americas favorite uppermiddleclass white prison inmate in orange is the new black. Please welcome taylor schilling, everybody. cheers and applause hello. Hello again. Its so nice to be here. Stephen im never not going to hold the hand of a pretty woman. I never know whether to help the ladies up the stairs sometimes. I actually needed a second to think if i needed help or not, and i looked down and thought im going to hold his hand. Stephen yeah, yeah. I was thinking that before i saw the shoes. I was thinking that from back out there. I thought we were going to do the interview from the alleyway. Stephen that would be fun. From a distance. I could just shout the questions from back there. A Certain Energy and freshness. A Certain Energy and freshness. It does have a certain freshness. It would be a nice angle, a nice angle. Stephen exactly. Did you see that interview where they were shouting last night . Congratulations on the new season of orange is the new black. cheers and applause stephen like, this show is like a cultural milestone in many ways, not only the content, not only its successful, but also because this is the show, like, that started all the Binge Watching. It did start all the Binge Watching. And what i think is so funny hearing about Binge Watching is, when i started this show, i thought i wasnt sure if it was, like, a web series. Thats what we were kind of like on nobody had and idea what it stephen it kind of is. It kind of is a web series, because its only internet stephen they said, hey, its not going to be on tv. Youre going to do it on the internet. Stephen its like local theater but more people see it. When we first did it in the first round, you do Media Training when you start when you watch something and people tell you sort of what to say really . I dont usually listen. Stephen you dont listen to the Media Trainers . I dont listen to them very much. Stephen they anticipated no, that was absolutely inappropriate, and totally verboten. What youre supposed to say is the show is dropping. Now its a part of the lexicon that, were all binging on tv. Stephen sure. Initially when i was making a web series laughter black box for more people. We werent allowed to use that word. S and now youre using it. Stephen everybody uses the word. Even things on broadcast, you let them stack up and binge them at the end of the week. There was one party where netflix gave out tupperware so people could take more food home and binge on food while they were binging on tv. They really switched. They did a 180. Stephen why shouldnt why shouldnt we consume everything the way we do food . Exactly. Stephen have you seen the fried macaroni and cheese at and cheese earlier. Stephen i would eat that in a minute. Would you . Stephen yeah, yeah. All of it . Stephen maybe last meal. Hey, have you actually because you play a prisoner, have you gone to prison to see what the experience is like. Because its opened the eyes for a lot of people of what a prison experience is like, especially for women. It absolutely has. Stephen have you done whatever the equivalent of a ridealong is for a prison . Before the Second Season of the show, i spent some time at rikers stephen thats a prison. It is. Piper chapman is based on piper kerrman, was really instrumental in teaching me about the prison system and teaching me about her experience. What that sort of moved from is being in the prison, spending time with the womens prison association, the w. P. A. , that and they do incredible work. Stephen would you want to hang out with your character . Is she the sort of person you would want to spend time with . Would i want to hang out with piper . Audience yeah i think piper i would. The thing, i think piper has a hard time hanging out with herself, you know what i mean . Stephen yeah. Is she getting any better with herself this season . She has a lot of work to do, you know. I think she has a lot of work to wants to hang out with anybody. Stephen season four is available for download right now. You can stream it right now. As soon as you want. Stephen ill do it right now. Go watch it right now and eat some food while youre watching. You know what i mean . Binge stephen congratulations on season four. Thank you. Stephen it was really lovely to meet you. It was nice to meet you, too. Stephen orange is the new black is streaming now. Taylor schilling, everybody. Well be back with rupaul breyers Peanut Butter gelato, rich chocolate sauce. Peanut butter cups. Tonight is perfect. Can someone read me another story . Daddd . Mmm coming breyers gelato indulgences its way beyond ice cream. The new chicken mcnuggets look fantastic made with 100 white meat chicken, no artificial preservatives, flavors and colors, it just might convince the judges here today. crowd cheers and theyve done it this is the best day whats up schumer . Okay, i got roped into spending the day with my sisters kids makes farting noise and they like keep talking about back to School Shopping . Back to school is like our red carpet. Just go to old navy. They have like the coolest back to School Clothes up to 60 off. Its what we all wear. And they have jeans starting at like 10 bucks. Noice dont say noice. Sounds stank no. Stop. Okay. Um. Guess what were going to old navy. Whos excited . Who wants to go shopping . Tired of redosing antacids . Try duo fusion new, two in one heartburn relief. The antacid goes to work in seconds. And the acid reducer lasts up to 12 hours in one chewable tablet. Try new duo fusion. From the makers of zantac. . . . . . . O school. And get a free 5 gift card for a Little Something extra. . . . . . . Only those who dare drive the world forward. Introducing the firstever cadillac ct6. . Never underestimate the power of energizer. Our longest lasting energizer max ever. Were going to prove just how wet and sticky your current gel antiperspirant is. Now, were going to show you how degree dry spray it wont let you down. Fact. People spend less time lying awake with aches and pains with advil pm than with tylenol pm. Advil pm combines the number one pain reliever with the number one sleep aid. Gentle, nonhabit forming advil pm. . . . cheers and applause my next guest is an actor, drag queen, model, author, and recording artist. Please welcome rupaul charles. . . . applause Stephen Lovely to meet you. Thank you so much for being here. applause youre playing im coming jon yeah stephen well, thank you for being here. Its a great, great honor to meet you. I love you. Stephen i love you, too. Listen, i dont need any coffee with that suit on. You got me wide awake right now. This old thing. I was going to throw this away before you called, and i thought Stephen Colbert, yes. Stephen solar flare plaid. Yes stephen let me show the at your most fabulous right now. Look at that beautiful applause right there. Thats extraordinary. Now, ive got a question to ask you. When i introduced you, i said among your other things youre known for i said drag queen. Can i, as a white, straight male who lives in the suburbs and drives his volvo to pick up his khakis from the dry cleaner, is that okar it is okay. You can call me you can call me regis and kathy lee. I dont care. Honestly. Stephen i just want to make sure. Im not that kind of a queen. The thing about drag queens is drag queens dont take life too seriously. The idea you can call me anything. Its just a name. But you said you said drag queen. Im not just a drag queen. I am the drag queen. cheers and applause its true its true, though, you know stephen well, thank you for being here, your majesty. How did you as i was saying before, this is pride week. This is gay pride weekend. The pride parade is this weekend. What was your experience like when you were younger . How did you come out to your family . Do you mind sharing that story with us . I never came out. I was never in. In, you know what i mean . I was always ru. Stephen is that your real name rupaul . That is my real name. My mother was from louisiana. Making gumbo, rue is the base. She wanted to pay homage to her background, her heritage. Its my real name. I always tell kids, any young public records. So if youre starting in show business, change your name because if youre sitting at the gynecologists office and all of a sudden, you know, they call your name out, and everybody goes, shes up here getting her bleep cleaned. You know, rupaul . Rupaul laughter applause what did i say . I Say Something wrong . Stephen not at all. Not at all. Not at all. Not in the least. So change your name. Change your name. Stephen so is it a mistake for me to be Stephen Colbert . Does your gynecologist know . Stephen i do not know nearly enough, my friend. I can ill show you. I took a stab at drag once. Tell me how i did. What do we think . What do we think . Look at all that ass stephen yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is by the pound, my friend, by the pound. You know, you look like selma blair in that picture. Stephen what . Gorgeous. Stephen thats quite a compliment. Do you see selma blair in that picture . Stephen i totally see selma blair in that picture. I can tell you a quick story about this. I had this p a tommy. And he goes, tommy, check this out. And my brother tommy goes, how do we know her . How do we know her . And my brother jay points at me, and tommy looks at this and looks at me and goes, all right, how does stephen know her . I was quite complimented. I do pass muster. What is her name . Does she have a drag name . Shes gorgeous. How differently did it make you feel it made me feel beautiful. I think everybody should do drag. Honestly. Everybody its not just because im, you know, for the you know, sort of twisted reasons. Its an important its important to know your yin from your yang. Stephen and then occasionally have your yin cleaned out. cheers and applause its him. Not me. I think i got that right. You can tell me about this young man. Tell me about this young man right here. This is you at what age . 19. I was 19 here. Just starting out my career. And, you know, i wanted to do it took another 11 years for anything to happen. But i had a good time here in new york, you know, sleeping in the you know, in the central park under the piers and, you know, trying to make something and i struggled, struggled, and here i am today on the Stephen Colbert show. cheers and applause stephen tell me about youve got another show called skin wars fresh paint. Where Artists Paint on peoples naked bodies. Yes. Stephen and transform their bodies. I didnt realize there is a whole culture out this of people who did this in competition . Skin wars, the first show is about professional body painters and they compete for skin wars fresh paint, a spinoff im hosting, is other artists from different mediums learn body painting through a bootcamp and compete for 10,000. Stephen have you ever had your body painted . I have lived in body paint for the last 30 years. If you have ever seen me in drag, its crazy. Its so much paint. Its an Intricate System of pulleys and weights. Stephen things are strapped in, singed in. Its like nassau. Its crazy. When you were raven, did you tuck . Stephen i tucked. I taped. I squeezed. I had three different pairs of pants on, one for shaping, and two more for smoothing. Yes. Now, was that all of your own butt or were you padded . Stephen baby, i bring it. Okay. applause stephen do you have any plans, do you have any plans for pride weekend, coming up . You know, pride is for young people who are just coming into the life and just understanding what it is to be themselves. I have lived pride for the past 55 years. cheers and applause so i dont you know, i live pride every single day. I go out and i love myself. I make sure that i am lovin ru, stephen well, thank you for being here, your majesty. Rupaul hosts skin wars fresh paint, wednesdays on gsn. Rupaul charles, everybody as proud as he can be. Well be right back. . . . cheers and applause Olay Regenerist renews from within. Plumping surface cells for a dramatic transformation. Without the need for fillers. With olay, you age less. So you can be ageless. Olive gardens buy one take one is back. Choose one delicious entr . E at our place, like our new pepperoni fettuccine alfredo, and another one for yours for free. Starting at 12. 99. . Slow, building africanstyle m . Its the little moments that make the biggest waves. Kalahari resorts conventis the worlds coolest indoor wate. Learn how to make their summer unforgettable at kalahariresorts. Com cheers and applause stephen thats it for the late show. Good night captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org . Are you ready to have some fun . And feel the love tonight . Do you worry about how much you drank last . Night its gonna be okay . Its the late, late show. Reggie ladies and gentlemen, all the way from pina cosca rocha, peru, give it up for your host, the one, the only, the