And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 726, san antonio. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much for being here. Welcome, everybody. Welcome. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, very much. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. Heres what people are talking about. Well, President Trump arrived in new york last night, and actually slept in trump tower. When trump asked for a wakeup call, they just showed him his poll numbers. Steve heyoh [ cheers and applause ] ho hey jimmy im wide awake. Im wide awake. A lot of Business Owners have been speaking out against the president. Today, the ceo of walmart wrote a strongly worded letter criticizing trump. Ceo of target wrote one, too, and people thought it was just a little bit classier. [ laughter and applause ] a little bit. [ cheers ] and after this weekend, growing number of cities have decided to remove their statues of confederate generals. And in their place, theyre going to put up statues of people that everyone can get behind. Ill show you what i mean. For example, theyre making one statue that honors the uber driver who doesnt talk. [ cheers and applause ] everyone likes then theyre making one for the friend who cancels dinner plans that you were about to cancel yourself. [ cheers and applause ] too bad, looking forward to it. Yes theyre also making one for the baby on the airplane that sleeps the entire flight. [ cheers and applause ] thats a great baby. Can i kiss that baby . And finally, theyre making a a statue for the coworker who runs a marathon without posting about it on facebook. [ cheers and applause ] i know. Youre so healthy. Heres some good news, kim jongun said he decided not to fire missiles at guam. [ applause ] and trump said, you mean i learned where guam was for nothing . This is insane. [ laughter and applause ] im awake. Im awake. I saw that theres some nasty weather moving up the east coast right now known as Tropical Storm gert. When we heard that, people named gert were like, oh, come on, my life is bad enough. My name is gert. Come on. [ laughter and applause ] this isnt good here, you guys, costco has to pay tiffanys 19 million for selling 2,500 fake tiffany rings. [ audience oohs ] husbands dont know whats worse, having to tell their wife the ring isnt from tiffanys or it is from costco. It came with 40 pounds of sausages. So, i just figured youre getting [ light laughter ] steve gert. Jimmy gert, will you marry me . [ laughter ] heres a three gallon jug of ketchup. Heinz ketchup. And a ring from tiffanys. [ laughter ] oh, man. Cant cut corners. This is pretty interesting here, i read that only 3 of russians say that theyd ever used a dating app. Its not that surprising when you see the apps that they use over there. Ill show you what i mean. For example, theres putinder. Steve wow. [ laughter ] jimmy just pictures of him. Steve you just cant swipe. Jimmy left or right. Yeah. Then theres match. Communist. And you go [ laughter ] steve okay. Jimmy and finally, theres sugarvladi. Com. [ laughter and applause ] steve heyoh. Jimmy i could see them making that. This is sweet, i read about a a 98yearold woman and a a 94yearold man here in new york who just got married. [ cheers and applause ] and if you want to get them a a gift, hurry. [ laughter and applause ] just saying. Finally, this is pretty weird. A man in the uk saved his pet tortoise by giving it mouthtomouth resuscitation. [ light laughter ] at least thats what he told his wife when she walked in on him making out with a turtle. You guys, we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, guys, very much. Thank you, roots. Welcome, everyone. We have a fun show tonight. This guy can do it all. Hes one of the stars of the current Netflix Series, friends from college. Hes also starring opposite oscar isaac in hamlet at the Public Theater. Hes getting great reviews. Keeganmichael key is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] incredible. Plus, we love this woman. Shes emmy nominated for her work on saturday night live. The hilarious leslie jones is dropping by. Come on. [ cheers and applause ] leslie shes great. Steve shes the best. Jimmy shes great. Shes already on fire backstage. Steve yeah. Jimmy keegan, leslie and i are going to play a game of true confessions. Steve ooh. [ cheers ] jimmy you wanna know whos lying, whos telling the truth, whats happening. You dont know. Steve its nuts. Jimmy its a fun game. You want to stick around for that. Plus we have great music. I love these guys. A ap mob is here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] a ap mob, theres a ap rocky. Its called cozy tapes vol. 2, too cozy. [ light laughter ] steve finally too cozy. Jimmy cozy tapes vol. 2. This ones too cozy. Steve yeah. Thats how good. Jimmy its so good. I love that. But every time they come, they always put on an unbelievable show. Last time it was almost in like a 3d, remember it was all dayglo and steve oh, yeah. Jimmy today theyre doing Something Special as well. They always go above and beyond. And we love those guys. Im glad theyre here. Guys, its time to take a look at stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. Its time for pros and cons. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] pros and cons and pros and cons and pros jimmy that was fast. That faster than normal . That wasnt even the right words. [ light laughter ] before, it was like pros and cons and pros and cons. This is more like pros and cons and pros, like pro and cons and pros and cons and pros [ cheers and applause ] i dont know. What do i know . I dont know what im talking about. Tonight well be taking a look at the pros and cons thank you [ laughter ] steve of what . Jimmy the pros and cons the pros and cons thats the final little dig you gave me. Were going to take a look at pros and cons of watching the Solar Eclipse. Steve ooh. Jimmy it is happening next week. The first time in 26 years that the moon will be completely it will completely block out the sun. Steve ooh. Jimmy so lets take a look at the pros and cons of watching the Solar Eclipse. Here we go. Pro, the eclipse will happen on august 21st. Con, hbo hackers have already leaked the eclipse online. [ laughter and applause ] steve come on. Jimmy thats unfortunate. Steve thats not good. Jimmy thats unfortunate. Steve come on. Jimmy pro, you can see what its like when the sun disappears. Con, or as thats also known, nighttime. [ applause ] its dark. Really dark out. Can see the stars. Steve i cant find my car. Jimmy pro, staring at it too long could cause permanent damage. Con, so does staring at this. Oh, boy. [ laughter ] steve whoa. Close to the moon. [ light laughter ] jimmy oh, man. Pro, buying special eclipse glasses. Con, between that and your shake weight, youre officially bad at spending money. [ laughter and applause ] dont let him do it. I wonder. Pro, the moon passing between the sun and the earth. Con, its the space version of a third wheel. [ applause ] hey, you guys want to like look at some stars together or something . [ laughter ] thanks for having me here, you guys. Steve youre gonna love it here, gert. Jimmy im scared. This movie scares me. Im scared of clowns. Thats why i was scared to come in this movie to see it with you guys. But i was scared of clowns, too. Steve by the way, happy anniversary to you, too. Jimmy and gert, may i say youre looking beautiful tonight . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] steve hotdog in the movie theater. Jimmy pro, seeing the moon cover the sun. Con, until republicans try to repeal it so it doesnt cover anything. [ cheers and applause ] good luck with that. Steve heyo. Jimmy and finally, pro, once upon a time, i was falling in love. Con, but now im only falling apart. [ cheers and applause ] nothing i can do a Solar Eclipse of the sun [ cheers and applause ] a Solar Eclipse of the sun a Solar Eclipse of the sun once upon a time i was falling in love now im only falling apart nothing i can do a Solar Eclipse of the sun jimmy thats the pros and cons. Well be right back with keeganmichael key. [ cheers and applause ] hey, is this our turn . Honey. Our turn . Yeah, we go left right here. woman vo Great Adventures are still out there. Well find them in our Subaru Outback. avo love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Get 0 apr financing for 63 months on all new 2017 Subaru Outback models. Now through august 31. You have. Bug eyes [intern] i have some terrible news. Theyre destroying the whole town except for every ladies night. Vegetarian. Only glad has forceflex to prevent rips, leaks, and punctures. So whatever you throw in the bag. Stays in the bag. 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Therein herbal essences its bio renew a blend of sea kelp, aloe and antioxidants that help bring your hair back to life. Herbal essences. Let life in. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. We are joined right now by an emmy and Peabody Award Winning writer and performer whos one of the stars of the new Netflix Series, friends from college. Hes also starring opposite oscar isaac in the Public Theater production of hamlet right here in new york city. Please welcome a good friend of the show, keeganmichael key. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that is what im talking about right there. Thats a lot of love. Jimmy that is a lot. [ cheers and applause ] thats incredible. Love. Oh, my god. Jimmy lot of deserved love. Total eclipse of the heart jimmy oh my god. I really i milked that one. Oh my. That was fantastic, man. Jimmy i know. That brought me back. Thats high school. Thats clearasil days. Absolutely. [ light laughter ] jimmy thats bonnie tyler type of stuff. Yeah. Thank you for coming to the show, and coming back so soon because you were just with us last week. Yeah. Jimmy we were in camp winnipesaukee. Yes, we were. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy with justin timberlake, and billy crystal. And can i say this really quick . I would just like to thank you for your words yesterday. Thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] i want to say that. Just want to say that. Jimmy thank you. [ indiscernible ] we had so much fun doing that sketch. Yes, we did. Jimmy we just called, and said, hey, would you want to come and play mr. Fletcher, the Camp Counselor . Im like yeah. Sure, yeah, mr. Fletcher. Yeah, no, i can do that. I mean jimmy youre like, fletcher . Im like, who is mr. Fletcher . [ laughter ] jimmy yeah exactly. You came in, and it was the most fun, i mean just rehearsing. We were crying laughing during rehearsal, just going like we didnt know what anyone was doing. You didnt do the same take twice. Right, right, right. Jimmy so everything was always different. So between you and billy, and justin, everyone was like making up lines, and improvising. I was like, you came in and you started, like, you kicked your legs out. You have to kick from the heel. [ indiscernible ] [ cheers and applause ] youve got to give them the old one two. Jimmy youve got to im sitting there with a wig on and braces, and im like trying not to laugh. Im like, what is going on . Its so fun, and then when you got right in my face with the whistle hitting me in the face. Oh, the whistle hitting you in the face which was his idea. Which was his idea. It was a very fun idea. Jimmy no. I think the rules i was taught a long time ago, dont the only other thing you have to do other than learn lines is just try to make everybody else laugh. Just try to make everybody else laugh, but then it keeps it free. It keeps everybody feeling free, and everybody on their toes, and it makes everything feel alive. You know . Jimmy it was so fun doing that. It was so much fun. So much fun. Jimmy but, the problem with being too fun is now youre always going to have to be mr. Fletcher. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we have to call you every time. Is it cool . All right. All right. Quest says jimmy quest says yeah, he said okay. Yeah, lets do it. Yeah. Jimmy hes doing his de niro impression. Its pretty good. Its pretty good. Jimmy questlove does the worst Robert De Niro impression. Can we zoom in on questloves face . Just do it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you and jordan peele of key peele, you guys are really living your dreams right now, because you were talking to me last time you were here backstage, jordan always wanted to direct. Right . Yes. Always wanted to be he always wanted to be an auteur, if you will. You know, like a filmmaker, like a serious filmmaker. That was always his dream. Yeah. Jimmy and boy did he do it with get out. I mean that was the oh my gosh. Yeah. Jimmy over the top success, and now hes like off directing the next film. It was like a i dont even know what genre you call that genre. Yeah, well like, he his favorite jordan. Jordans jimmy like comedyhorror . Comedyhorror, suspensethriller, romance with a soupcon of tragedy. [ light laughter ] i mean. Its like hes got himself [ cheers and applause ] [ light laughter ] a soupcon. A soupcon. Jimmy a soupcon. Of tragedy. Jimmy yeah. His favorite movies growing up were rosemarys baby, and the stepford wives. Jimmy oh my goodness. No, no, no. Like any young black man from the upper west side. [ laughter ] who doesnt love those movies . Those were his favorite movies. So he wanted his whole life hes been yearning to make a movie like that, and get out was get out is that its his version of that kind of film. Jimmy and then, you always dreamt of being on broadway. I did. Jimmy being a real theater actor. Yeah, i went to school for acting. And i thought, you know, this is something that my parents were kind enough to let me do. Jimmy where did you go to school . I went to the university of detroit mercy, is where i did my undergrad. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy theyre being nice. Theyre being nice. Jimmy theyre being nice. Theyre being nice. Jimmy theyre being nice. Theyre being nice. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. Theyve never heard of that school. Jimmy yeah, he just made that school up. [ laughter ] no, it is a real school. Its a real school. Its a real school. Jimmy its a great school, yeah. Its a real school. Yes. Jimmy this audience has no idea where that school is. [ light laughter ] theyve never head of it theyre like, oh detroit mercy. There are schools in detroit . There are schools in detroit. Trust me. [ light laughter ] then i yeah, and i got jimmy most polite audience ever, yeah. Then i got a masters degree at penn state. Penn state university. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy guys. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah [ laughter ] jimmy thats a school we know absolutely. [ light laughter ] at least fifty of us went to that school. [ laughter ] so, yeah. So i always [ laughter ] i always wanted to be i always wanted to be a a serious, dramatic actor. That was my plan, and then i ended up taking this 19year detour into sketch comedy. Jimmy boy, what a great job you did. It worked out okay. It worked out all right. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy absolutely. Oh, its the best. So, yeah, that was my dream, and then now to be able to do hamlet, and to play and to play horatio. Jimmy horatio. The character im playing, which is a character ive wanted to play its a very specific thing to want to do is be in theater, and play horatio. Im like, did the devil roofie me, and then i sold my soul to the devil . [ light laughter ] jimmy did the devil roofie me . How did i get all how did my dream come jimmy your real dream. Like, my real dream came true, yeah. Jimmy its fantastic, and this is [ cheers and applause ] and also i want to say it was Just Announced last time you were on the show, we didnt mention it, it was Just Announced that youre going to be on broadway in the new steve martin play. The new steve martin play called meteor shower. Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy meteor shower. Meteor shower yeah. Jimmy steve martin. Steve martin. Jimmy and amy schumer as well . Its me and amy schumer. Its our broadway debut. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy are you kidding me . Yeah, yeah. Jimmy how fun is that going to be . Yeah. Its going to be amazing as well. Amy is, of course, is fantastic. The amazing Laura Benanti is in it. Alan tudyk is in it. Its just a fourhander. Its going to be a really fantastic its like, i didnt these are dreams that you kind of think, oh, im never going to ill live a life, ill be okay, ill be happy, and then this happens. I had no idea it was going to happen this soon. Jimmy the director is fantastic, too. Jerry zaks. Jimmy jerry zaks. Who directed hello dolly. Jimmy hello dolly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy i mean come on. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, crazy. Jimmy thats going to be great. I will be there. Ill be there. Hamlet is a, kind of an intimate setting. Its smaller. Like an intimate yes. Yes. Jimmy an intimate theater setting. Youre right in the mix. If you go see this, youre right there. Yeah, yeah. Theres only like 200 a a little over 250 seats in the theater. Were dressed very regular, kind of, person garb. Its very, kind of, stripped down, very real. Theres not a lot of theres no pumpkin pants and hose and all this kind of stuff. [ light laughter ] jimmy no, i love that. Theres a point in the play where oscar, whos playing hamlet, has to sit down in a a seat next to an audience member. He moves an audience member out of the way, and sits in their seat. There was a little old lady in the front row one day, who was really enjoying herself, and letting us know, and at one point in time, oscar sits right next to her, she just leans over and she goes, are they going to carry you out . [ light laughter ] and hes like, were in the play, maam, were in the play. [ light laughter ] no, no, and shes like, oh, theres the skull. Thats yorick. Thats the fool. [ light laughter ] im like, just straightup, howard cosell, just doing the playby play on the whole play. It was fantastic. Jimmy there was some lady the other day. Oh, yeah, a woman got up during the intermission, walked up on stage, and plugged her phone in to charge it. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy new york city, baby yep. So then, they said to the lady, maam, you cannot plug your phone in, and charge it on the stage. So she went, oh, im sorry. So she gets up, and walks over to every member in the front row, and goes is there an outlet under your chair . [ laughter ] sir is there an outlet under your chair . Im like, who are you . Are you james bond . Wait, what are you doing . Jimmy yeah, she needs to charge her phone. Who do you need to call . [ light laughter ] jimmy im so happy for you on both things. I cant wait to go check out hamlet, and go check him on broadway, meteor shower, too. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. Jimmy keeganmichael key. Were playing true confessions after the break. Stick around, everybody. Its going to be good. [ cheers and applause ] vo unlimited is only as good as the network its on. And only one network can be the best. Verizon. Just named number one in the nation by rootmetrics, the largest independent study. In call, data, speed, and reliability. And awarded number one Overall Network for the eighth time in a row. Because only verizon has the best network and the best unlimited. How was your vacation . Hey, guys, whats this tomato doing at randys desk . [all coworkers laugh] hahahahaha. You know, that actually reminds me, steve. I got you something. Aloha mangoes can get sunburned. Put some flavor in your break with new snapple mango tea make time for snapple. We come into this world needi others. Then we are told its braver to go it alone. But there is another way to live. A way that sees the only path to fulfillment is through others. It starts up very quickly. Its instant, in fact. Powerful. Takes you by surprise, because it breaks from the norm. My name is brodie neill, and im a furniture designer. Whatits up to you, like with tampax pearl. Od . You get ultimate protection on your heaviest days, and smooth removal for your lightest. Tampax pearl. And pocket pearl, for on the go. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. I am here with keeganmichael key. [ cheers and applause ] you can see him in the new Netflix Series friends from college, which is currently streaming. Keegan and i are about to play a game of deception called true confessions. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy but first, were going to need another player and we found a great one from saturday night live. Emmy nominated leslie jones [ cheers and applause ] coming in hot. Coming in hot on that one. Coming in hot. Zero to 60 in two seconds. Jimmy there we go. Thank you for joining us, leslie. Now, heres how the game works. In front of each of us are two envelopes containing confessions. One of the envelopes is something that actually happened to us in real life. The other envelope is a lie. Once you read your confessions, the two other players have 60 seconds to interrogate you and then they each have to guess whether youve been lying or telling the truth. [ light laughter ] i dont know if youll be i think that youll be bad at lying because i think youre a a very honest person. Youre very yes, i am. Jimmy yeah. But i lie a lot, too. [ laughter ] jimmy i dont if i i dont know if i believe it. Not sure if i believe that. Im not sure if thats a a lie. Jimmy i know, exactly. [ talking over each other ] jimmy keegan, youll go first. Leslie, which envelope should keegan open . I want him to open envelope two. Jimmy aha, number two. Number two. Oh, here we are. Jimmy what is the truth or lie . Lets see. Okay. Oh, uhhuh. [ light laughter ] jimmy okay. This could all be part of the the ruse. I got paid jimmy uhhuh. To dress as a caveman for a a singing telegram company. [ laughter ] jimmy what year was this . I was just going to say that. Jimmy thats not real coffee, yeah, yeah, sorry, yeah. What is that . Jimmy i dont know what that is. Its colored water. [ laughter and applause ] its colored water. Its all prop. All prop. Dont drink. And thats not a real cigarette. What year was this . Im sorry, jimmy, what . Jimmy this is drano, this is liquid drano. Yeah, dont drink dont use the props. Are you okay . Im okay. Im all right. Im back. Jimmy start the clock lets restart the clock at 60 if we could. Okay. Jimmy what what year was this . 19 jimmy what do you mean 19 . Like its going to be what, 1900 . 19 jimmy i knew it was 19something 19 what . 1993 . Jimmy okay, 93, are you in high school at this point . [ light laughter ] no. Yeah, so jimmy were were you at mercy [ laughter ] what are youre over here from detroit . [ laughter ] jimmy were you in detroit . Yes, yes, i was, yes i was i was in detroit. I was in detroit. Was you was you doing comedy at the time . [ light laughter ] i was not doing comedy at the time, ms. Jones, detective jones. Jimmy no, did your caveman have a name . The mookgook. [ laughter ] that sounds so racist. Yeah, yeah, i know, now hey jimmy now what did you did you have to sing [ buzzer ] aw i didnt get to ask no question. I would have guessed it. You would have guessed it right on. I think hes telling the truth. Jimmy struggling actor . Exactly. Jimmy you take any gig you can . I think youre telling the truth. Yeah. Well, the both of you are absolutely correct. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we did it. I did. Jimmy you got to take a a gig, leslie youre right. You got it. You didnt even have to ask a a question. Jimmy i know she has a a couple of them i had to say racist stuff and everything and we still [ light laughter ] i know, i know whats up. Jimmy have to do that. I love that you did that, i wish the all right. I wish this was a joint. Jimmy its my turn. Its not. Its all prop. [ light laughter ] this would be so much funner with a joint. Jimmy all right [ cheers and applause ] but youd have to put 60 minutes on the clock. [ laughter ] jimmy which envelope should i open . One or two . Jimmy, you will open envelope number one. Jimmy number one. [ laughter ] i once rode on the back of a a jet ski with madonna. [ laughter ] what year was this . Uhhuh. Jimmy 2011. I know thats a lie because madonnas like 75. [ laughter and applause ] thats a lie. Madonna not gonna to get on no ski. She not about to get on no ski jet at 75. Jimmy ski jets, jet skis. Jet ski. [ light laughter ] ski jet, jet ski, shes not getting on it. Not getting on it, either way. Shes 75. Jimmy all right. Let me ask, theres no insurance for that. Yeah, exactly. All right. Let me ask you a question, what body of water exactly. Were you on this jet ski with madonna . Jimmy we were in the hamptons, it was the ocean. Okay. Thats another lie because madonna dont go to the hamptons. [ laughter ] jimmy she does. I know this for sure. Because shes a material girl. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy whats that mean . They dont go to the hamptons. They dont go to the hamptons. Jimmy okay. Now, listen, im the good cop. You dont want anymore of this. Jimmy seven seconds. [ light laughter ] seven seconds. Did you hurt yourself during the trip . Jimmy no, but we didnt talk at the whole [ buzzer ] oh. They didnt talk. They didnt talk. They didnt talk . That might be a that might be the true thing because madonna dont like white people. She does not like white people. [ laughter ] i mean, she wont even she wont even talk to half of me. [ laughter ] so, you know. [ cheers and applause ] i think he i think he lying. I think its a lie, too. Im going to go with her gut. Im going to say its a lie. Jimmy of course, its a a lie. [ cheers and applause ] how would you guess that . Madonna, i dont think madonna would ever jet ski. No, no. I said, shes 75 jimmy no, not because that, i just think shes too cool to jet ski. Shes like, i dont do that, you do it. Nope. Jimmy yeah, all right i thought i thought i was going to need longer to get in the whole fake story and then you bust me right off the top. Nope. Thats because i know liars. Jimmy okay. All right. Here we go, all right. Especially if you are male. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] jimmy never nobody ever lies about jet skiing with madonna. Okay, here we go, leslie, its your turn. Ill choose the envelope. I pick number one okay. Lets see whats in number one. Okay. Oh. Okay. During the 2016 olympics, i got lost in rio and got a ride home from a man on a horse. [ laughter ] now let me ask a question. Yes, baby. Did you get a ride home all the way to new york city . [ light laughter ] and did the horse die halfway through and the man had to drive up and piggyback you the rest of the way . [ light laughter ] jimmy oh, no theres no way this is a real question. Thats a dumb [ bleep ] question. Jimmy all right, no, no, no, now look, do you was the man a cop was he a police was he a Police Officer . Nope. Jimmy random guy where was the olympics again . First of all, were in rio, dude. Okay, so jimmy yeah, youre in brazil, theres a dude on a a horse. Was he e theres dudes on mopeds, horses, all kinds of stuff there. Jimmy and how why would you even think in your life to get on a horse on the way home . You couldnt get a ride somewhere . If you would have seen this dude. Jimmy was it fabio or something . He was fabioish. [ light laughter ] [ cheers ] was he was he an athlete at the games . No, but he was an athlete at the games. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ buzzer ] that came out that came out too confidently. Jimmy yep, i agree. That came off too confidently. Jimmy too confidently. Thats true. That is truth. That is a true statement. This is absolutely a lie, fellas. Jimmy my god, what . What . [ cheers and applause ] thats not whay . Jimmy the best of playing the game, leslie jones [ cheers and applause ] keeganmichael key were talking to leslie after the break. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] newscaster with so many projects in the works, it seems like Dwayne Johnson cant possibly take on any more. The rock oh, that sounds like a challenge. [crash] hey siri, get me a lyft ride to lax. [siri tone] [crash] [tires squeal] [jet engine] [siri tone[ painting, painting, painting. Siri mr. Nakamura can discuss your fashion line. 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More and more tax money tosends trenton, but gets less and less back thanks to Steve Sweeney and chris christie. Heres the sweeneychristie record eight years of underfunded schools. Huge tax breaks for themselves and their rich friends while we pay more. And homestead rebate funding for seniors cut in half next year. Dont believe the fake news from his wealthy donors. Steve sweeney stands with chris christie, not with south jersey. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is emmy nominated for her incredibly funny work on saturday night live which premieres its 43rd season this fall right here on nbc. [ cheers and applause ] please welcome the very talented, the very lovely leslie jones, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back. [ cheers and applause ] you look fantastic. Thank you. Jimmy you look gorgeous. Thank you for playing that game with me. Thank you. That was fun. [ cheers ] jimmy you are good. Well, men dont know how to lie right. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy man, oh man. You got me good. I dont know how you just guessed that. Sussed that out in one sentence. Im telling you, first of all, black women know how to tell when men are lying. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy god. Im so sorry i missed you. You were across the street at radio city, at Dave Chapelles yes. Jimmy residency that hes doing for the whole almost the whole month of august. Thats pretty cool, huh . Jimmy yeah. Its insanity. Jimmy i mean, who gets a a residency at radio city music hall . Dave chapelle. Jimmy yeah. Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] then how was it have you played there before . I played there with Katt Williams back in 2008. Jimmy no. And the same stage manager was there, she remembered me. She remembered me because i was telling them that i needed stairs so i can go up the stage because i like to go into the audience, and the guy was like, no, you cant do that. I was like, dude, its happening. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] jimmy either way. Either you putting stairs in, or i dont kno0w whats happening. Go with the flow. Dont be the one that didnt do what you needed to do. [ laughter ] jimmy cause theres a a story i heard that you once opened for jamie foxx. Yes. Jimmy and bombed. That was the second time i ever performed comedy ever. I performed 1987 at Colorado State for the funniest person on campus, and then i was like, oh im going to be the next eddie murphy. Im the next eddie murphy. Jimmy yeah. And then i left college, left the scholarship, everything. And my friend vaneesa got me a a gig opening up for jamie foxx. I dont know how she did it, but we know how she did it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey, hey, hey, hey. [ cheers ] so you go on. I went on, and oh god, i bombed. I bombed so bad that i think, like, joke angels was coming out and was just like, stop. [ laughter ] jimmy it was just i mean, do you remember the jokes, just no . They were bad jokes. Jimmy they were bad jokes. I think i was talking about my uncle, and i think i was talking about churches, and then the dj started scratching in the middle. He was like sika, sika, sika, stop lying. Jimmy really . But then you said jamie gave you words of advice. Jamie came on stage, and the first thing he did was tell the audience to stop booing her because she had more guts to get up here, and try it and you all didnt. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hes a great guy. Yeah. Jimmy when he comes here, too, he loves comedians. Yeah, and i knew that his friend likes big women so, again, i send vaneesa [ laughter ] to you know, butter up the friends so we can go to fatburgers afterwards. Yeah, then i just got jamie in the corner, and was just like, yo, how do i do this, how do i be like you . How do i get the and he was, you like 19. You have nothing. You have no stories. You have no life. Hes like, go live, go have some bad jobs, go have some good jobs, go get your heart broken, go break some hearts. Hes like, because you have no material right now. Jimmy wow. And thats what i did. Jimmy thats interesting. Sounds like great advice. Yup. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and look at now. And i got a gang of material now. [ laughter ] i lived [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah, yeah. Look at you now, youre emmy nominated for saturday night live. I know. Can you believe it . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah, i can believe it. I can believe it. You did great. That is so crazy jimmy only one of you. Theres only one of leslie jones. Theres only one me. Theres only one me. Jimmy you deserve that, man. Oh, god, thats so crazy. Jimmy but i think you now become now youre like a big celebrity now. Now has it kind of calmed down when you meet a celebrity, like, tell the story when you met al pacino. You oh no, nothing ever calms down, and im still stupid as hell. [ light laughter ] i call al jimmy this is my favorite, i love this story so much. This is where no, i met Dustin Hoffman and i called him al pacino. [ laughter ] jimmy i know that. I know that. But i want you to get to that later. I didnt know i had made a a mistake. You know, i thought i had gave such a oh i just love your work, and youre just so awesome. Mr. Pacino, i think i just watched you for years, i think you are just the epitome of what acting is. [ light laughter ] jimmy i love you in scarface. And he was just looking at me, like Queen Latifah be tripping. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy gosh, hes the coolest guy, Dustin Hoffman. Hes cool. Jimmy no, hes rad. Yeah, hes cool. Jimmy so here you are, you got nominated for an emmy. Where were you when you got the news . Oh man, first of all, Everybody Knows not to call my house before 10 00. Jimmy okay. cause i am a vampire. Jimmy oh yeah, exactly. You got to sleep. Okay, so i got to sleep. So, my phone kept ringing. I was like, why is my phone ringing . And i looked at the phone, it was laura roseman, you know our publicist. Jimmy our publicist, yeah. So i was like, laura, they found some more naked pictures. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy what . Found more naked pictures . No, thats not going to happen. Damn. It could happen jimmy. It could happen. Jimmy naked pictures. This was like, damn. I dont feel like taking this call. I was like, whats up, laura . Whats going on . She was like, you got nominated for an emmy and then, i jumped out of bed, ran to the living room. Jimmy naked. I was like how did you know i was naked . [ cheers and applause ] [ light laughter ] jimmy im so excited for you. Were rooting for you, and ill see you at the emmys. Yes yes jimmy go for it, pal. You deserve it. Leslie jones. [ cheers and applause ] watch the new season of saturday night live premiering this fall on nbc. Well be right back with music from asap mob. [ cheers and applause ] stick around leslie jones. [ cheers and applause ] [intern] hey bradley, do you remember when i took your photo this morning . [boy] yea [intern] im afraid i have some terrible news. You have. Bug eyes here come the bugs ahh bugs everywhere uh oh, this little buggy got a lasagna. saved money on motorcycle insurance with geico. Goin up the country. Later, gary i have a motorcycle wonderful. Im goin up the country, baby dont you wanna go . Im goin up the country, baby dont you wanna go . Geico motorcycle, great rates for great rides. No splashing wait so you got rid of verizon, just like that . Uhhuh. I switched to tmobile, kept my phoneeverything on it oh, they even paid it off wow yeah. Its nice that every bad decision doesnt have to be permenant ditch verizon. Keep your phone. Well even pay it off when you switch to americas best unlimited network. I kept looking for ways to manage my symptoms. I thought i was doing okay. Then it hit me. Managing was all i was doing. When i told my doctor, i learned humira is for people who still have symptoms of moderate to severe Crohns Disease even after trying other medications. In clinical studies, the majority of people on humira saw significant symptom relief and many achieved remission. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Just managing your symptoms . Ask your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, remission is possible. Modern life deserves a mits sold out. Ay. Dont fret, my friend. 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[ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guests are a a new york city rap collective whose new album, cozy tapes volume 2, too cozy is out august 25th. Performing feels so good, give it up for asap mob [ cheers and applause ] i cant relate to none of you rappers are actors i swear these be fake get out my face way too much food on my plate for her to be actin all stank diamonds on bling blaow blaow i swear that my so bad i had to go buy her a mink what you think what you think cause me and the money in love i think im going to buy you the ring my diamonds shiny yellows cloudy diamonds ice play hockey lean got me feeling drowsy stripper she work at fouleys meet me at the hotel lobby amex running to the money you aint taking nothing from me and im going to die for it focus from demons distractions and all the reactions and fame she probably collapse in a heart attack from blowing a kiss on the Wave Production big cant fit on the stage too many fans to fit in the crowd too many fans to get em on stage his crew and band is with him on stage i said in advance so pay in advance im way too advance to figure him out i set the bar dont give em a break the bar too high to give it a raise the flow like god so give him a praise the songs i got i get them appraised throw out my glock and get them erased slow you got i give it a wave i cant relate to none of you rappers are actors i swear these be fake get out my face way too much food on my plate for her to be actin all stank achi new versacsi sippin sake with my posse eat that like hibachi leave it wet like that dasani Salvador Dali her body its a work of art you copy make it hard she do pilates i go hard you rappers copy cause it feels so good when its you and it feels so good when its new cause it feels so good when its new why you actin like you aint know achi new versacsi i be mobbin with my posse stretch that like pilates imma eat it like hibachi play no games no time i got you finger froze like liberachi that i make her nut me while i rep trilluminatti [ cheers and applause ] pelle pel butter soft we were in those lobbys holla holla steady mobbin only god can stop me dolla signs alotta diamonds im about to sign me cop a tommy and a tommy thousand bands like fauny all in the forest looking for porage ricky in storage verse with a chorus dress like a terrorist thats with the bomber up some commas glock with the drama do what i want when i wanna cause it feels so good when its you and it feels so good when its new cause it feels so good when its new why you actin like you aint know i cant relate to none of you rappers are actors i swear these be fake get out my face way too much food on my plate for her to be actin all stank diamonds on bling blaow blaow i swear that my so bad i had to go buy her a mink what you think cause me and the money in love i think im going to buy her the ring [ cheers and applause ] jimmy asap mob catch them on the too cozy tour starting next month. Well be right back, everybody [ cheers and applause ] i make it easy to save 600 on car insurance, so being cool comes naturally. Hmm. I cant decide if this place is swag or bling. Its pretzels. Word. Ladies, you know when you switch, you get my bombdiggity discounts automatically. No duh, right . [ chuckles ] sir, you forgot keep it. Youre gonna need it when i make it precipitate. What, what . What . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to keeganmichael key leslie jones a ap mob [ cheers and applause ] too cozy. And the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. Stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight adam driver. Star of marlon, actor marlon wayans. From the presdent show, comedian anthony atamanuik. Featuring the 8g band with roy mayorga. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening, im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] thats great to hear. Before we get to the news, donald trump gave a press conference right before we started taping, which means its time for breaking crazy. Seth President Trump this afternoon gave a press conference that can only be sc