Roots crew. Questlove three steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, everybody. Hey. Welcome welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] heres what people are talking about. Guys, monday is president s day, which means most people are getting a threeday weekend. [ cheers ] steve yeah jimmy get this. A new survey of historians just ranked James Buchanan as the worst president ever. [ light laughter ] then after yesterday, buchanan said, i think you guys need to click your refresh button. [ laughter and applause ] steve heyoh jimmy a new challenger has emerged. Yeah. People are still talking about President Trumps Wild Press Conference yesterday. In fact, the New York Times called it 77 chaotic minutes. [ light laughter ] its not good when your First Press Conference gets the same review as john wick 2. [ laughter and applause ] 77 chaotic minutes. But this morning, trumps chief of staff, reince priebus, did an interview on fox and friends, where he said trump did amazing in the press conference. [ light laughter ] then from off camera, someone shouted, and tell them how sexy i looked. [ laughter and applause ] and he looked really sexy. But you knew it wouldnt be long before there was another big trump story that got people talking. Take a look at this. Theres a lot going on with President Trump today. Hes going to florida to spend his Third Straight weekend there. Now, his plans include a rally on saturday that is officially a 2020 Reelection Campaign event. [ light laughter ] jimmy when they heard the 2020 campaign was already beginning, americans started deporting themselves. [ laughter and applause ] what what are you whats going on . Reelection . Steve what . Why . Jimmy another big story is that trump asked vice admiral Robert Harward to replace mike flynn as National Security advisor. But he turned him down. Steve ooh. [ audience oohs ] jimmy he said hell to the naw naw. [ laughter ] hell to the naw naw yeah. He said no to the job. The rest of trumps cabinet was furious. They were like, you can do that . [ laughter and applause ] you can say no . And four generals are now being considered to replace Michael Flynn as President Trumps National Security advisor. When asked about it, the first candidate said, i would be honored to serve President Trump. The next candidate said, i would be proud to serve my country. Next candidate said, i am willing to help this nation however i can. And finally, this last candidate said, for the last time, im a cartoon on a cereal box. [ laughter and applause ] stop asking me to do stuff. Im not even real. Im not even a general. Im a capn. Im not even a captain, im a steve is he General Mills . [ laughter ] jimmy he wanted to ask General Mills. No, he couldnt steve capn crunch, thats ridiculous. Jimmy hes not even captain crunch. Steve hes just capn. Jimmy capn crunch. [ light laughter ] yeah, its like a nickname. Steve yeah. Its more of an informal thing. Jimmy its his nickname, yeah. Steve whats up, capn . Jimmy yeah. Steve mind puttin some more air in my tires . [ light laughter ] sure thing. Jimmy yeah, exactly. I read that the trump winery in virginia is requesting permission from the Labor Department to hire workers from overseas. Yeah. [ audience oohs ] they just released a new commercial. And i think trump really knows what hes talking about when hes talking about wine. Steve really . Jimmy yeah, i think so. Watch. Dont cant believe the fake news. Trump winery is the bigliest, bestliest winery in the world. Weve got all the best wines, like blankety blank. Penut grass. Cabinet. Zootopia. Reeses pieces. Charlie brown the pope. And, of course, my absolute favorite, gerber baby terminator. [ laughter ] trump wineries. Make america grape again. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy grape again . Steve wow. Jimmy Charlie Brown the pope . [ light laughter ] this is nice. Today, Hillary Clinton went to sesame street live at Madison Square garden with her two grandchildren. Hillary was having so much fun she even stayed after the show to have the count go over all the votes from ohio, florida, and pennsylvania. [ laughter and applause ] one, two. Two i saw that a woman in florida had to call 911 after being locked inside a cvs pharmacy. The woman said she survived by eating several heartshaped boxes of chocolates left over from valentines day. Then police were like, maam, youve only been here for ten minutes. [ laughter and applause ] what are you doing . Eating chocolates . Well, you guys, its the end of another crazy week. And since theres too much to talk about, instead of giving you a full week in review, we decided to put together a a little montage that just focuses on the key words used this week. Its something we call this week in words. [ cheers and applause ] crazy week. For the press. Awkward handshake. Its a mess. Grammys. Dog show. Michael flynn. My vagine. Please start it again. White house leaks. Trump. Frustration. Michael flynn. Resignation. Russian contact. Get too close. Russian spy ship off our coast. Cabinet. Road block. Whos to blame . Andy puzder. Withdrew his name. Turmoil. Chaos. Disarray. But heres what President Trump had to say. Fake, fake, fake. Fakefakefake fake fake. Fake, fake. Fake. Fake. Fake. Fake, fake. The news is fake. I talked about it. Get to work and stop whining about it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey thanks, everybody. Thank you, everybody. Come back again next week. Will forte will be here. Ariana grande will be here. [ cheers and applause ] Susan Sarandon will be here. And hugh jackman will be here. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy big week. Plus performances from future, little big town, and chronixx steve oh. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy chronixx is coming back but first, we have great show tonight. He is the star of the new Comedy Series the Great Indoors. Joel mchale is here. Steve oh. [ cheers and applause ] what a gentleman. Jimmy hes a funny dude. Steve funny dude. Jimmy hes a really funny dude. Love that guy. Plus, from the new Hbo Limited Series Big Little Lies, the beautiful, the talented zoe kravitz is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and we have great, great, great music tonight. I am so happy hes here. Ryan adams is here, you guys. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy his new album his new album, prisoner. Prisoner is the record. And everyone says its gotten great reviews, this album. But also, if you get this box set version of prisoner which is thats what i did. Steve yeah. Jimmy i bought this one. Right . So you get this thing . You open the top. And you open it up. [ audience oohs ] steve fancy. Oh [ audience ohs ] jimmy youre going to freak out. Look at this. So you hear the crowd goes nuts. Then it comes with a bunch of fun things you can put like, heres ryan, like, being [ laughter ] kind of cool there. You can you can stick a cat up there. [ laughter ] ryan, watch out, theres a theres a tiger. [ laughter ] and then you can just do crowd, like people going nuts. [ cheers and applause ] ah, and then then we add tiny drake. [ laughter ] [ applause ] tiny drakes in there. Steve whenever tiny drake shows up, good times follow. Jimmy tiny drake went, he loves ryan adams. So he just figured hed hang out. And theyll steve theyll ride a tiger. Jimmy get on the hes riding the tiger, dude. Thats the new song. Steve riding the tiger . Jimmy is he going to do that tonight . Riding the tiger . He wont, no. [ light laughter ] steve hes not gonna do that one. Jimmy hes singing do you still love me. Steve ooh. Jimmy but anyways, look at this thing. Steve thats fun. Jimmy thats fun. This is what youre supposed to do, man. I love it. Anyways, ryan adams is here and hes awesome. [ cheers and applause ] guys, todays friday. Thats usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. I check my inbox, i return some emails, and of course, i send out thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] now i was just running a bit behind. Do you mind if i write out my weekly thank you notes right now . Is that cool . [ cheers ] i appreciate it. Thank you very much. Thanks, everybody. Hey, james, can i get some thank you note writing music, please . [ light laughter ] steve wow. Jimmy seems upset about something. Steve hes very upset. [ light laughter ] you can see the anger in his face. Jimmy mad. Steve super mad. Oh, now hes happy. Oh, good. Jimmy no, hes still mad. [ laughter ] do you have big plans this week, james . [ laughter ] thank you, president s day. Its nice to finally have a day this year where we can take our minds off of everything and think about the president. [ laughter and applause ] steve think about me. Big weekend. Jimmy say how sexy i am. [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, american girl, for introducing your firstever boy doll and looking like the doll version of the bachelor. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] im an entrepreneur. Im an aspiring dolphin trainer. [ laughter ] thank you, vice admiral Robert Harward, for turning down President Trumps offer to be National Security advisor and for looking like the six flags guy without his glasses. [ laughter and applause ] steve whoa [ cheers and applause ] whoa whoa no, no, no no caping no caping [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, man. Had to cape it up, man. Steve got to cape it, man. Jimmy sometimes the cape just has to come out. Steve turns into pure class. Jimmy thanks, i appreciate it. [ trump impression ] steve love your cape. [ laughter ] glass. [ light laughter ] jimmy thank you, side tables, for sounding like a a piece of furniture youre cheating with. [ laughter and applause ] side table. Thank you, heavy winter gloves, for making me feel like im always ready to hold a live hawk. [ laughter ] [ hawk screech ] [ laughter ] [ hawk screech ] jim got real weird, man. Third year of the tonight show, he started wearing capes, he owns a hawk. [ laughter ] real weird, man. Steve super weird. Jimmy thank you, allinone shampoo conditioners, for being the spork of shower products. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] steve leave it in . Take it out . Jimmy thank you, seeing my breath in the cold during winter, for making me look like im constantly vaping. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] thank you, long underwear, or as i like to call you, secret pants. [ light laughter ] there you go, everybody. Those are my thank you notes. Well be right back with popular math, everybody. Come on back. [ cheers and applause ] it is one of the most powerful tools our species has created. And now we unleash it on your taxes. Hello my name is watson. Yep. H r block and ibm watson together. Creating a future of more money going back into the pockets of more families. Welcome to taxes won. H r block with watson. Come see us and get your taxes won. vo have to happen . Idnt i didnt see it. vo what if we could go back . What if our car. Could stop itself . In iihs frontend crash prevention testing, nobody beats the subaru impreza. Not toyota. Not honda. Not ford. The allnew subaru impreza. More than a car, its a subaru. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. [ laughter ] that song sounded awfully familiar, but steve sorry. Jimmy but then again, also ive never heard it before. [ light laughter ] welcome back. You know, i read something that really disturbed me. Steve whats that . Jimmy American Kids are ranked 30th in the world in terms of math skills. Steve ugh jimmy nobody seems to know how to turn this around. I think the problem is that todays kids just cant relate to Old Fashioned things like numbers. [ light laughter ] so, weve updated math to make the equations more about stuff modern kids can relate to in a a segment we call popular mathematics. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] popular mathematics mathematics jimmy i love that. So do you understand the bit, higgins . Steve no. [ laughter ] jimmy ill give you an example. Steve okay. Jimmy look at the first equation here. If you take magic mike steve yeah. Jimmy plus a mop steve right. Jimmy it equals the new sexy mr. Clean. [ laughter and applause ] see what im saying . Steve no. Give me another one. Give me another one. Jimmy ill give you another example. If you take mens warehouse steve sure. Jimmy all right, plus a a panic attack steve right. Jimmy it equals sean spicer. [ laughter and applause ] you see what im saying . Do you understand . Steve almost. Theyre not numbers. Jimmy ill give you another example. Ill give you another example. Steve because im very confused. Jimmy larry bird. Steve yes, i know him. Jimmy times two. Steve okay. Jimmy plus emma stone equals two birds with one stone. [ laughter and applause ] you know what im saying . You get it . Steve oh, ye no. Jimmy are you getting it . Steve no. Jimmy are you getting it now . Steve i dont get it. Give me another one. Jimmy if you take mike pence steve mike pence, yes. Jimmy plus Donald Trumps spray tan steve yes. Jimmy it equals an oscar statue. [ laughter and applause ] you get it . Steve no. One more. Give me one more. Jimmy let me give you another example. Steve because im not getting it. Jimmy i understand. Here you go. This one youll get it. Heres candy land plus capitalism times ruined friendships equal monopoly. [ laughter and applause ] steve give me one more. Jimmy let me give you an example. Steve yeah, it must be me. Jimmy heres another one. Its tom brady plus Gisele Bundchen steve right. Jimmy plus kids, equals the brady bundchen. [ laughter and applause ] do you understand now . Steve ah yes. Jimmy youre lying. I can tell youre lying. Steve no, i understand it. Jimmy ill give you one last example. Steve give me one last one. Im sure i will comprehend it after this. Jimmy if you take two plus two it equals five which equals betsy devos. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats all the time we have for popular mathematics. Well be right back with joel mchale, everybody [ cheers and applause ] to err is human. To anticipate. Is the lexus rx. With pedestrian detection, auto braking, and lane departure alert standard. Experience another step closer to a safer world. Experience amazing. At planters, we put fresh roawhich has its drawbacks. An, guys, know anything about this missing inventory . Wasnt me the cheeks dont lie, chet. Irresistibly planters. They are ridiculous when they first wake up. Daddy walks into the walls like hes a bumper car. Your dunkin doesnt make you, you. But it helps. Delicious Dunkin Donuts coffee. Pick some up where you buy groceries. You may be muddling through allergies. Oned with. Offee. Try zyrtec® for powerful allergy relief. And zyrtec® is different than claritin®. Because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. Try zyrtec®. Muddle no more®. Adios, honey, hasta la vista, baby. singsongy fat guy in a little coat. That rug really tied the room together. Any questions . Bueller . Bueller . Thats the unlimited effect. Stream your entertainment and more with unlimited data when you switch to at t wireless and have directv. Plus, get the amazing new iphone 7 on us. Our powerful relief now in pill form. Its the one and only cold flu caplet that has a maximum strength formula with a unique warming sensation you instantly feel. Power through with Theraflu Expressmax caplets. So this year, theyre getting a whole lot more. Box 365, the calendar. Everyone knows my paperless, safe driver, and multicar discounts, but theyre about to see a whole new side of me. Heck, i can get you over 600 in savings. Chop, chop. Do i look like ive been hurt before . Because ive been hurt before. Um, actually your session is up. Hang on. I call this next one junior year abroad. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you know our first guest from his terrific work on the Television Show community. He now stars on the brand new Comedy Series the Great Indoors, which airs thursdays at 8 30pm on cbs. Please welcome the very funny, the very talented joel mchale [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i feel, like, ooh, this is fantastic. I feel like i should have a a cigarette with a holder on it. Jimmy with plastic dude everyones casing it. Yeah, no, and jimmy case it and vape it dude. Kids, dont smoke pens. Jimmy no, dont smoke pens. You shouldnt. Im a little too warm and sometimes youre probably sick. Jimmy yeah. I might be sick. But, either way, if you put the case you feel like i feel like a dignitary. I feel like im in a a shakespeare play thats been updated. [ light laughter ] its do you know what today is . It is the tenth anniversary of the beginning of the tonight show with jimmy fallon. [ cheers and applause ] the tenth anniversary the tenth anniversary. [ cheers and applause ] oh, im sorry. It is the third anniversary. [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, though. Thank you. I got excited. Its not as big of a deal. Johnny carson did it for 30 years. So, 27 to go, dude [ laughter ] after 27, you will be tied. So jimmy yeah. Oh, my gosh. Most of these people, youll youll be dead. [ laughter ] jimmy all right, now, joel, you cant say that. Youre right. Youre right. Half of you. Jimmy no, joel, please. But youre in town. Youre at carolines. Yes. Im doing some standup comedy there. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] yes. Jimmy i love caroline. Thats a great club. Its a great club. Tickets available. And no. I dont know how you are, because your audience likes you. [ laughter ] and i try to be awful to them. So usually if im in new york i walk out, and im like, hamilton sucks [ light laughter ] and they get upset. Im like, whos worse . The yankees or the mets . And they i try to get to the point where they attempt to murder me and then i jimmy then you build it back up . I just build it back up. Its not smart and you lose them real quick. Jimmy its a good challenge though. And thats probably how you stay sharp. Yeah not really oh, yeah. Hey, look. This works out perfectly. Jimmy this is how its called joel mchale thanks for the money. Yes, i wrote a book. Jimmy you wrote a book. Its an actual book. Yeah, look. People dont [ cheers and applause ] jimmy really . Youre in this book. Jimmy i am . Nope. Jimmy oh. [ laughter ] im going to read you aloud im gonna show you the page that, i dont know i cant show that page. Ill do the page with my parents having sex. And [ laughter ] jimmy i cant believe i had to just see that. Im sorry that you had to see that. Jimmy i cant unsee that now. I didnt take photos. I drew them. Jimmy i know its even weirder. So my i have a brother. Jimmy i thought they were real heads on there thought. Im so sorry. Jimmy real faces on there. We put their faces from a from a wedding shower they had, and jimmy oh, my god so jimmy are they angry . Very. And then they were worried and then their entire christmas letter was like, well, page 17 will make you blush. And i put that in there because my brother is a priest and my other brother is an electrician. I, of course, am a european dignitary. [ light laughter ] and so the, the premise was that the only way we, why we are so definite that my parents must have had sex in very different positions to for us to turn out the way we did. And my logic is sound. And im sorry that zoe kravitz is not out here yet. [ laughter ] jimmy no, come on its called thanks for the money. How to use my life story to become the best joel mchale you can be. You get, well, because i think its part memoir and i think most celebrities are not interesting enough to have a a whole book. And for real. Except for you. Youve been hosting this for 11 years so [ laughter ] and then the other is a a selfhelp book kind of because when you get somewhat famous, people start giving you things, like, for just being guest on your show, you get a a jar of cookies, and some chocolate. James corden gives you a water bottle. And [ laughter ] sustainable jimmy he just started. He just started. Youre right, yeah. [ laughter ] he is trying really hard. So, yeah, thats kind of the premise and youre all going home with a copy tonight. [ cheers ] no. Jimmy thats not true. Why do you keep doing this to the audience . I dont know. Theyve already hate i hate me. I dont like me at all. Jimmy no one is going home with a book tonight. Maybe one of you yeah. Thats not yours. This is going right to questlove. Right there. [ applause ] jimmy do you want to give it to give it to someone in the audience . Yeah. Jimmy here you go. Who [ cheers and applause ] no, no, dont throw it no jimmy hand it, hand it, hand it, its a book no, no. In the audience. The audience. The audience . [ cheers and applause ] whos gonna . Who . Thank you. Jimmy i worked hard to give it to that guy. You see, jimmy is jimmy he looks a little similar to you. Doesnt he . Yeah is the show still on . Jimmy whats that . We are still on . Jimmy oh, yeah. Its a 25minute segment. [ laughter ] they really are disappointed. Im sorry. Jimmy no, theyre not. They love dont you guys love joel mchale . [ cheers and applause ] see i want to talk about your show the Great Indoors. Yes. Jimmy i also want to talk about this happened to you, and i want to get into the story when we come back from a a commercial. I want to tell a story that you can relate to, though. [ laughter ] jimmy more with joel mchale when we come right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] lease a 2017 lincoln mkx for 369 a month. Only at your lincoln dealer. I believe in me too. I am the unicorn of your confidence sir . You give me that salad and i will pay for your movie and one snack box. Can i keep the walnuts . Yes. But i get to pick your movie. Can i pick the genre . Nope. With the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Backed by the service and security of american express. Choose your favorite pasta,ores piadina or sandwich. It all comes with our neverending soup or salad. And all the breadsticks you want. Starting at just 6. 99 get neverending value for lunch, today at olive garden. Remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Its time to snap out of it. Hello moto. Snap on a jbl speaker. Put a 70 screen on a wall. Get a 10x optical zoom. Get excited world. Hello moto. Moto is here. The moto z with moto mods. Get a moto z play droid for only 5 mo. No tradein required. That has more ski mountains to choose from than any other in the country. And thats not the only thing you can only find in new york state. You can find it all, only in new york. New york. Its all here. Its only here. Plan your winter getaway at iloveny. Com [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. Were hanging out with our pal joel mchale, right here. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] zoe kravitz will be out here soon. All right. Jimmy very soon. I want to know. What what what happened here . What is this . I hate my index finger. [ light laughter ] jimmy this is your finger . Yeah, i again, as i said, you cannot relate to this at all. But, when i was shooting the Great Indoors, on after the Big Bang Theory on cbs. [ cheers ] im sorry. I was supposed to puncture a a blowup air mattress and the prop guys, very smartly said, would you like the dull knife or the sharp knife . And i said, give me the sharp knife, you jerk. What do you think im going to cut my finger off with it . [ light laughter ] and so for whatever reason, as i was getting ready, i reached in my pocket, opened knife up in my pocket and ran my index finger we there is tape of it, and they their entire staff saw it and vomited. Jimmy yeah, i know. And i cut the tip of my finger off, and during jimmy it was sharp. Yes. It was a cold steel knife which is one of the they are so sharp. And it was during whats called the network run through. Which is where youre kind of showing the network what youre actually going to tape and i started bleeding all over my script and two of the a. D. S have that thing where if they see blood they faint. So i was doing this, im like, dont be alarmed and then i would bring out this bloody script. [ laughter ] like, but ive murdered stephen fry, and [ laughter ] so i they jimmy what did it look like this . Do you remember . They s you cant really see whats going they did an amazing job of sewing it back on. Jimmy do you have can you feel anything . You can see it from there. Im going to stop holding my finger up in the air on a a weird jimmy theyre like, what happened to joel mchale . He thinks hes number one. Its awesome. [ laughter ] jimmy were in a cave, like what is going on with show . This guy is so arrogant. His show is his show is in its first season. What does he think . So they sewed it back on and they put they pulled the stitches up through the top of the nail, and jimmy yeah. Again you were like, i cannot wait for zoe kravitz to get out here. Jimmy no, no, no. I want to talk about your show. You excited about it . You mean the Great Indoors . Jimmy the Great Indoors. Joel mchale. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Yes. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for promoting it. Jimmy explain explain what who what character do you play . Okay. So i play, like, a, its an american submarine captain, and we jimmy thats not true at all. Commandeer a german submarine captain. Jimmy no, no, no. A submarine and theyre all all the controls are in german. No jimmy you changed you changed that was the pilot, but you changed the script. We changed it at the bar. Im an exbaseball player, and theres these two old fat guys who make fun of me and jimmy thats cheers. Thats cheers. [ laughter ] jimmy that is not your show. Shoot. I jimmy your show, the Great Indoors. Its a sponge. Hes got arms. Ye ha. Jimmy thats spongebob squarepants. [ laughter ] you. Ive seen jimmy ive seen the show. Ill tell you what its about. You play a, a guy an adventure journalist. Jimmy yeah. Oh. [ laughter ] jimmy now youre getting there. No, and i the magazine dissolved and now i run this website and i have to work with young people for the first time ever. Millennials and stephen fry, the Great British actor. Jimmy amazing. Stepehen fry. He is im the thing about stephen fry, though, hes stupid. No. [ laughter ] not smart. Not smart. Everyone knows it. Everyone talks about it. Jimmy oh my god. Hes one of the smartest guys ever. Its like its a a workplace comedy where, yeah. I get made a fool of a lot. Jimmy and its on after Big Bang Theory. Which is a minor hit on cbs. [ laughter ] jimmy we have a clip of the show. Heres joel mchale in the Great Indoors. Yes. This is my favorite. [ laughter ] he did it. [ siren ] my green card a little sketchy, so, i got to go. [ laughter ] yeah, yeah. Jimmy yeah. Yeah. [ applause ] jimmy i thought it was funny. That was really funny, but that was that was kevin james. That was kevin can wait. Oh, yeah, that was kevin can wait. I love that show. [ laughter ] that kevin james is amazing. Hes back on tv and he can do no wrong. Have you seen it . Jimmy yeah. That was a great clip. We dont have anything that good from the Great Indoors. No. Jimmy you came on our show to promote kevin james show . Hes [ laughter ] yeah. Thats how much we love each other at cbs. Jimmy wow. No. We you should watch kevin can wait. Jimmy okay. Joel mchale, everybody from the Great Indoors. Thursdays at 8 30 p. M. On cbs. Well be right back with zoe kravitz. Zoe kravitz. Jimmy stick around everybody and then ryan adams ryan adams. [ cheers and applause ] im not the type to smushy garbages. You know what . Im going for it. You are completely and utterly. Awesome. Im glad you showed up. In my life i think im about to cry. You better not. Every single time i. Get down you always have. My back my back its really hard to describe. Its like. All these tiny little. Things . Yes. Yes. Things are actually. Friendship. Something bigger. Here. And something. Smaller. Juicy. Lettucey. Oniony. Cheesy. Iconic big mac®. Now in three sizes, for a limited time only. Ba da ba ba ba this president s day, get to nissan now. And save on a lineup with intelligent safety features. And americas best truck warranty. Take on the everyday, with six 2017 iihs top safety picks. Its clear why were americas Fastest Growing auto brand. Now, get president s day offers like 0 financing for up to 72 months on 11 models. Or save up to 4550 on select models. C every dunk is wonderfilled so bring your milk and cookie skills let the oreo dunk challenge begin show your dunk for a chance to win. Show us your dunk with hashtag oreo dunk sweepstakes. Your little sounds of crispy bacon mix drives me crazy. You naughty little smack did you just spank your lunch . Yes. Nice. Food you want to fork. Devour. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest stars opposite Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman in the new Hbo Limited Series Big Little Lies which premieres sunday night at 9 00 p. M. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome zoe kravitz [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my pal. Hello jimmy welcome back to the show. Thank you very much. Happy third anniversary. Jimmy it is, its three years for us. Its a very big night. [ cheers and applause ] im very excited. Yes. So exciting. Jimmy its exciting and you know whats even more exciting, were not playing a game tonight. You and i. I know. I felt like you didnt want to play a game with me, because i usually win. [ audience ohs ] but i thought jimmy this is funny. Because we have a guest book back stage which hopefully did you sign it joel . Joel you wouldnt let me. Jimmy okay. [ laughter ] we usually we have the people who come on the show sign the book, and you very nicely signed it and it said, i won again. Thanks for having me. Love zoe. P. S. , i won. [ laughter ] so you really rubbed it in there, because you beat me at well, yeah. I beat you at a few drinking games. Jimmy yeah. Beer pong and flip cup. Yes. But i thought, it would be nice for us to have a drink that didnt result in me winning anything. And its your third anniversary, so i had last time we talked about the darknstormy, hes my dad. Jimmy true. It was the best story ever [ cheers and applause ] come on thats what im talking about. Awe. Zoe kravitz do you want me on your show after this . Jimmy Lenny Kravitz you know how to do it man. Thats my jimmy you know how to do it. I jimmy youre the best. Youre the best. Good to see you, man. Jimmy thats darknstormy. Thats how you do it right there. Lenny kravitz [ cheers and applause ] courtesy of joe. Jimmy oh, yes. Joe. Courtesy of joe. Jimmy give him my love. [ inaudible ] jimmy give him my love. Bye. Byebye. Jimmy Lenny Kravitz right there, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thanks dad. Jimmy how cool . Hes the coolest of alltime. Hes a good guy. Jimmy Lenny Kravitz just came out with darknstormy. Theyre delicious. Jimmy this is the best tonight show weve ever had. Ever. Im so happy [ cheers and applause ] im so happy to have you. And have you here. This is joel zoe, do you know that guy . [ laughter ] never seen him before in my life. Jimmy i want to talk to you about the first of all, that was just so cool. That just has happened. I want to talk about your big show on hbo. Yeah. Big little lies. Jimmy Big Little Lies. [ cheers ] yeah, people that havent read the book, but this is Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman. Yes. Jimmy and its a big deal. Are you excited . Yeah. I think its going to be great and nicole is amazing and reese is amazing. They both produced the show as well. So they were super involved. Jimmy i dont really know them that well. You [ laughter ] you know nicole. You went on a date with nicole once. [ laughter ] ive seen that episode. Good job, bro. [ laughter ] jimmy i didnt know i didnt know i was on a date with her. I know. It was jimmy i didnt know it was really awkward. It was really bad. Ive had bad dates, too. Its fine. Jimmy what was the worst date youve ever had . The worst date . Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] you dont have to say names. Of course not. I went on a date joel say a name. [ laughter ] jimmy joel no, no. Hes right. Bad influence. Joel Jake Gyllenhaal everybody. [ laughter ] it was a horrible time. Jimmy you dont have to say who it was, but what was it . Okay. Not Jake Gyllenhaal. No. Not Jake Gyllenhaal. I went on a date with this guy. The date itself was actually fun. You know, we talked about movies and music and he told me he just got a new turtle and the date was fine. [ laughter ] the next day i went home and he calls me. My phone rang. And i i assumed and i was like, i killed it last night. Hes going to ask me out on a a second date. I pick up the phone. And he says, remember i was telling you about little gary, my turtle . So i said, yeah. And he says, can you watch him for a few days . [ laughter ] and i was i was a little confused. And i said, i dont thats a a great idea. And like, my roommate doesnt, i dont think she would be cool with that. And my roommate who loves animals overheard me. Was like, yes lets take the turtle. [ laughter ] so you know, i said, all right. When are you leaving . He said, tonight. Im going to bring him over right now on my way to the airport. So he comes over and drops off a duffel bag, says thanks and leaves. And the bag starts moving. And im like, all right. Little garys in here, i guess. So i open the duffel bag and inside is a 30pound african tortoise. [ laughter ] with a bag of half like almost finished dry dog food. Jimmy yeah. That what he eats. Thats obviously what tortoises eat. So it you know, at least bring a full bag. You can show a picture of him if you want. Joel that Jake Gyllenhaal is weird. [ laughter ] so i have this turtle for about a week. And i call the guy. And im like, dude, when are you coming back into town . Jimmy got to pick up gary. Hes got to come pick up little gary. Jimmy little gary. And he says, you know my trip got extended. And so we keep little gary for like another week and hes become like, he becomes like the neighborhood mascot. Like, people come over. We have barbecues. We love gary. So then its been maybe a month since weve had him and my phone rings and its garys father calling. [ laughter ] well call him garys dad. And so now, i say, okay, this guys obviously calling me to talk about the giant 30pound african tortoise that he left at my house. Jimmy yeah. No. He was calling me to ask me on a second date. He said hes back in town and he wants to know if i want to go to see a movie. And so im thinking, this guy who you dont really know, calls you, and after he leaves his giant african tortoise at your house, doesnt saying anything, asks you on a second date. This is insane. So obviously i say, yeah what time do you want to go . [ laughter ] jimmy what time what time are you picking me up . So, what time should i be there . Jimmy yeah. So i go on a second date with this guy i know, i know. Jimmy i feel like hes a a super cool dude. Im starting to think he really is Jake Gyllenhaal. No i [ laughter ] and i just and its insane that we didnt only talk about the fact he left a giant african tortoise at my house. So just had like a second date. That was fine. Jimmy are you still dating him now . No. Jimmy is gary around . Yes. So, im almost finished. I swear. So, we go back we go back to his house for a night cap and i see he lives. And i see that there is, like, stuff on the ground. Theres no outdoor space. And all im thinking is, gary cant live here. [ laughter ] this cant be garys home. Jimmy youre looking out for garys best interests. Yeah. Jimmy yeah. And so i i also remember that i hadnt fed gary. Because i didnt expect to be out so late. So i say to the guy, im like, you know what. I got to go home. And hes like, why . I got to go home and feed my turtle gary. [ laughter ] jimmy thats right. Yeah. My turtle gary. [ applause ] loser and i kept him for the entire summer and then we donated him to a turtle sanctuary and hes very happy now. So jimmy you did that. Im cheering for gary. Cheers to gary. To gary [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. Hes yeah heres zoe kravitz and Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman in Big Little Lies. Your exgirlfriend. Jimmy on hbo. Take a look at this. [ laughter ] homemade. Its not. How amazing is that crap . Hi, guys. Hi. Nathan. Yoga. Wow. Yeah. Tonya got me into it. Well, well, you know. Lets set out all those i drank like a bottle of wine last night and say i was like, youre going. You know . You know, i got [ inaudible ]. Thats fantastic. Oh. Im going to call again about that decision today. I mean, its ridiculous. Oh, you dont need to worry about it. Basically to take my name off of anything. Nothings going to stop us. Jimmy zoe kravitz, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] Big Little Lies premieres sunday night at 9 00 p. M. On hbo. Ryan adams performs for us next. Stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] with simply right checking from santander bank, just make one deposit, withdrawal, transfer, or payment each month to waive the monthly fee. And theres no minimum balance. Youre alright with simply right checking from santander bank. Are you feeling alright, baby . From santander bank. Are they fighting here . Whatever it is. Its hunting. The great wall. Rated pg13. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy he is a grammynominated musician whose new album, prisoner, is out today. Its got crazy good reviews. It is so good. Buy it, stream it, download it. Whatever you can do with albums, records now steal it [ laughter ] jimmy no, dont steal it performing do you still love me, give it up for ryan adams, everybody [ cheers and applause ] i been thinking about you, baby been on my mind why cant i feel your love heart must be blind what can i say i didnt want it to change but in my mind its all so strange do you still love me, babe do you still love me, babe do you still love me another year will pass and i will count the days another sun goes down but well never see the rays what can i say i didnt want it to change is my heart blind and our love so strange do you still love me, babe do you still love me, babe do you still love me do you still love me, babe do you still love me, babe do you still love me [ cheers and applause ] jimmy whoa thank you, thank you, thank you. Ryan adams prisoner is out now my thanks to joel mchale, zoe kravitz [ cheers and applause ] ryan adams, once again [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great weekend. I hope to see you next week. Byebye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight Tracee Ellis Ross star of legion, actor dan stevens music from electric guest featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers ] seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. Hows everybody doing tonight . [ cheers ] fantastic, fantastic to hear. Before we get started, i want to say congratulations to the new england patriots. [ audience boos ] [ cheers ] thats about how i feel. [ light laughter ] lets get to the news