Roots crew. Questlove 544 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, hey enjoy yourself. Welcome. Welcome. Please, have a seat. Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone to the tonight show. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show. This is the one to be at tonight. Hot show tonight. Hot show [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness. Well get to the show. First, heres what everyone is talking about. Of course, it is still the election. And i saw that Hillary Clinton actually went to her granddaughters Second Birthday Party instead of preparing for the first debate against trump. Yeah. I guess she figured being around a bunch of screaming toddlers might help her even more. [ laughter and applause ] thats right, hillary went to her granddaughters Second Birthday Party. Apparently she played her Favorite Party games duck, duck, question and pin the blame on the i. T. Guy. [ laughter and applause ] i never heard those while speaking to the students at the university of New Hampshire yesterday, Hillary Clinton said, quote, isnt this one of the strangest elections youve ever seen . And then college kids were like, uh, were 18. [ laughter and applause ] it is the only election weve ever seen. Havent seen that many. And get this. Hillary said that when she was a young woman going to law school, she had to take out loans, because her dad couldnt help her pay for it. Because hed already gone broke donating to her future president ial campaign. [ laughter and applause ] another fundraising letter . Ugh, all right. I read that just this past week, Hillary Clinton spent 12 million on campaign ads compared to donald trump who only spent 600,000. And you can really tell donald trump is doing campaign ads as cheaply as possible. Take a look at this recent ad. Our children watch everything we do. And the person we elect as president has the power to shape their lives for years to come. Hillary has spent her entire career bringing folks together on behalf of our kids. Wrong. Hillary will be a president our kids can look up to. Wrong. A president who believes in our kids and will fight for them every day. Wrong. Thats why i believe in donald trump i hope youll join me. Im donald trump and i approved this message. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i guess it gets the point across. Steve wrong. Jimmy actually, Michelle Obama is campaigning quite a bit for Hillary Clinton. And yesterday she said hillary is the only person in this race who has any idea what being president is like. Then trump said, i heard that on thanksgiving, you get to fire a turkey. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] thats what im hearing. And Bernie Sanders is also campaigning with hillary. Yesterday he asked a crowd at one of her rallies, is everybody here ready to transform america . Followed by his next question, does anybody here remember where i parked . [ laughter and applause ] its a 94 taurus. With the left blinker on. And get this, donald trump is reportedly angry that his advisers are saying that he struggled during the first debate. Then his advisors were like, oh, so you can hear us. [ laughter ] it was as if there were a wall between us. Check this out, you guys. Esports has been getting really big lately and a lot of professional video game players are actually getting pretty famous. Heres a guy who goes by the name of seagull finishing up an interview at a competition this week. And check out his cool handshake at the end. Watch. Excellent, man. Thank you very much for your time. And were gonna send it back to the desk right now. Oh [ laughter ] im not gonna leave you hanging. Im not gonna leave you hanging. [ light laughter ] jimmy in case you missed it, lets get a closer look at that handshake. [ laughter ] [ laughter and applause ] i guess video games help with the handeye coordination, but not handhand coordination. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, heres a crazy story. This week, a woman in tennessee walked into her home and found two burglars having sex on her couch. When they tried to run away, she yelled, at least steal the couch [ laughter and applause ] who needs it . We have a great show tonight, you guys. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have a giant show tonight. This saturday, she is hosting the season premier of saturday night live with musical guest, the weeknd. Margot robbie is stopping by [ cheers and applause ] jimmy plus, he is the current Vice President of the United States. We are delighted to have him here. Vice President Joe Biden is on the show tonight steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] good show. Jimmy amazing. And then, im so excited for this. For the First Time Ever on the tonight show, we have music from metallica [ cheers and applause ] oh hardwired. To selfdestruct metallica. I mean get ready. I mean, this is they dont do they dont do this type of stuff. They dont do tv. They dont do they always do travel with joe biden. Steve thats true. [ laughter ] thats one thing they do. Jimmy thats one thing, you know. But so a good. Im just so happy theyre here. What a great, giant show. Thank you guys so much for being here tonight and watching. [ cheers and applause ] very exciting. First for you guys right now, it is time for tonight show hashtags. Here we go. [ applause ] Hashtags Hashtags jimmy here we go. You guys are on twitter, right . Are you on twitter . [ cheers ] we use twitter on our show every single week. So if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. So since the first president ial debate was this week, and both candidates received plenty of advice from their campaign staff, i went on twitter and sent out a hashtag called badvice. Do you get it . Steve got it. [ light laughter ] i dont get it. Jimmy i dont have to describe yeah. We asked you guys to tweet out some funny, weird, or just plain bad advice that youve gotten. We got thousands of tweets. Within 30 minutes it was a a trending topic in the u. S. [ cheers and applause ] so thank you so much for those tweets. Now i thought id share some of my badvice tweets from you guys. This ones from micahwilliams24. He says, guy at work tried to give me marriage advice and finished with, trust me, ive been married three times. [ laughter and applause ] well, then thats three times the experience. [ light laughter ] this ones from 2omarsc1. Sounds like hes a robot or something. [ light laughter ] he says, when someone had a a cold, my grandma used to tell them to drink tequila because, either youll lose the cold or youll forget about it. [ laughter and applause ] steve thats good advice. Jimmy good idea. This is good. This is from shawnget. He says, my grandpa once told me not to use my blinker when driving, because its no ones business where youre going. [ laughter and applause ] hey, mind your own business. This ones from britbroadhouse. She says, i was told to sprinkle baby powder on my sheets the freshen them up. I woke up looking like a a powdered doughnut. [ laughter and applause ] slept like a baby, literally. This ones from chelseybunbun. [ light laughter ] thats a good one. She says, my dad told me if you have a bad cough, take a a laxative then youll be afraid to cough. [ laughter and applause ] steve what . Jimmy what is he talking about . Steve thats why they call her bun bun. [ laughter ] jimmy i dont know. This last ones from kellygator. She says, bought a car that smelled like cigarettes, was told vinegar would fix it. Now my car just smells like pickled cigarettes. [ laughter and applause ] there you have it. Those are our tonight show hashtags. To check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow. Com hashtags. Stick around, well be back with Margot Robbie, everybody [ cheers and applause ] foot steps crickets chirping jet engine heart beat water splashing rain drops engine revving tires on wet road lease the exhilarating 2017 lincoln mkz for 349 a month only at your lincoln dealer. Oh with a little bit of uh uh, and a little bit of i said, its getting hot in herre new limited edition cherry from limearita. The bold margarita. You never believed in fairytales. Knights in shining armor or happily ever after. But you believed when the right one came along, youd be ready. Time to shine. Orbit. Im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. to dog give it. Sure its free for everyone. Oh well thats nice and checking your score wont hurt your credit. Oh to dog im so proud of you. Well thank you. Get your free credit scorecard at discover. Com. Even if youre not a customer. And so when i saw that, that was completely disqualifying. Im a republican, but this election is so much bigger than party. My son max cant live in trump world. So im crossing party lines and voting for hillary. I dont always agree with her, but shes reasonable. And shes smart. She can work with people to solve problems. I want to be able to tell my kids that i did the right thing when it really mattered. Im Hillary Clinton and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy she stole the show this summer playing harley quinn in suicide squad, and a few days from now shes hosting the 42nd season premiere of saturday night live with musical guest, the weeknd. Please give a warm welcome to one of our favorites. Heres Margot Robbie [ cheers and applause ] jimmy margot hi. They love you. Come on, they love you. Are you so excited . I love coming here. It is such an ego boost. Jimmy it is . No, we love having you here. Please, please, please. Im psyched to have you here, im psyched to have Vice President joe biden and im psyched to have metallica all in one show. I know that is like jimmy im very excited. Im nervous. Thats mind blowing. Metallica. Jimmy isnt that great . I mean and the Vice President , but like metallica. Thats insane. Jimmy have you ever seen the Vice President in concert . [ laughter ] metallica . Have you seen those guys . I havent seen them in concert. But i meant, i love them. Jimmy did you have like a a metal phase, did you ever get into . I did. I had a real, like, heavy metal phase. When i was like 14. And i dyed my hair black and i literally cut with it a razor blade. And i would only wear band shirts and like, only listen to like the heaviest of heavy metal. Jimmy and who were you into . I was a really weird phase. Like silverstein and like, bullet for my valentine. Jimmy really. Slipknot. I went to a slipknot concert. It was actually to this day, probably the best concert ive ever gone to. Jimmy is that right . It was amazing. Jimmy slipknot. Its just an amazing performance. Even if you dont like metal, i think you would appreciate a a slipknot concert. Because its just like incredible to watch. I was on a soap at the time in australia called neighbors. And, as you can imagine, the people that would generally watch neighbors, youd imagine it would be like families at dinner time or like young people. But at the slipknot concert, i got more recognized at the slipknot concert than anywhere else id ever been whilst on neighbors. It was so weird. And i was like well, this is one place no one is ever going to come up to me here. And like, these huge guys with like, tattoos and like, piercings everywhere, would be like, is bridgets baby really dead . And ill be like [ laughter ] jimmy at the slipknot concert . Yeah. And i was like you watch neighbors . Are you serious . Jimmy i love it. You would never know. You never know anyones story. They loved everyone. It was so random. Jimmy thats the coolest thing ever. I love hearing that. Saturday night live, im hearing the best things from everybody. They loved having you there all week. Oh my god. Its so like its an intense week. Its really fun, right . Yeah. Ive been upstairs all week. Its really fun. But its like jimmy whats weirding you out. Whats making you whats your experience . It its just like not i dont know if im going to be able to pull it off. And like so many times, we did the table read yesterday. And was just about to go to lornes office and like just be like, you got the wrong girl for the job. Im so sorry, but i shouldnt do this. You should get someone else to come in and do it. And i hope its not too late, but im going to like not do it. Jimmy what do you mean . Have you met with the writers and everything . They have great writers. Yes, no. They are amazing. Jimmy theyll make it work. You have the weekend performing as well. Yeah. Jimmy you get to see him rehearse at all . I havent seen him rehearse. We shot like, one quick promo. I didnt want to be like i didnt want to like stand out. It is so weird meeting people that you idolize. You dont want to be uncool. Like, i met kate mckinnon. We did a promo. And im like, such a huge fan of hers. I met her. And i was just like, i didnt know what to say. It was so embarrassing. She came over here. She was like, a big fan. Big fan. [ laughter ] and i was like no, im your fan. Jimmy that is a great impression of kate mckinnon. Thats unbelievable. She was just like, big fan. I was like, no, im your you never say what you think you want to say when you meet someone like that. You just sound uncool. Jimmy did you give any tattoos to anyone this week . I havent given a tattoo this week. Jimmy the last time we talked about this, and this is something you end up doing on the set is you actually, illegally, i should add is there a law against it . Jimmy im sure you have to be licensed to do that. You cant just do that to people, yeah. Ive always wondered if it is like okay to do that. Jimmy you give tattoos to people on the set and they let you do it because youre so charming and nice. They make it seem like fun. Then afterwards, why did i do it . Jimmy well you did this one, i said give me a drawing of what you would tattoo. Yeah, last time i was here. Jimmy and you drew this. A little girl with a balloon. [ light laughter ] thats my specialty. Like stick figurey. Jimmy i love that so much. Seriously, i think thats one of the cutest drawings ever, and im not ready to get a a tattoo. Maybe next time. Jimmy but i was thinking, i had a rubber stamp made of the drawing. I thought maybe if you would like, you can give me my first tattoo. It is just its kind of temporary. It will last the weekend. Yeah. Oh, my god jimmy im going to do it. That is so thoughtful, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] all right. On your bum cheek . Jimmy no, no. I think here is cool, right . Well play it safe. Jimmy i do play it safe, yeah. Next time well get it for real though. Jimmy i dont know. Alright girl, here we go. Oh, not bad. [ cheers and applause ] can i have one too . Jimmy yeah. You have the show. You have the show. You said that. Jimmy are you sure . Ill wash it off. These arent permanent so it should be easy. Jimmy ok, ready pal. Im so psyched to get it. Oh my god, i love it [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that means youre going to have good luck. You guys, do not miss Margot Robbie hosting the season premier of saturday night live this weekend we love you Vice President joe biden joins us after the break. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] i like my turkey carved thick it isnt just grandmas who are passionate about turkey, so is subway. The allwhite meat in our new, thickcut autumn carved turkey sandwich has no artificial preservatives or flavors, and is topped with cheddar and cranberry mustard sauce. Only at subway. [ rear alert sounds ], [ music stops ]on ] on the road again just cant wait to get on the road again [ front assist sounds ] [ music stops ] [ girl laughs ] on the road again like a band of gypsies we go down the highway [ beetle horn honks ] no matter which passat you choose, you get more standard features, for less than you expected. Hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just 199 a month. I got it, dad. Ow we love to keep them safe. So we made the Nest Protect Smoke and Carbon Monoxide alarm. It speaks up and can alert your phone if theres a problem. Or let you know if everything is just fine. Because, ya know, we worry. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we are very honored to welcome our next guest to the tonight show. Hes the 47th Vice President of the United States. Everyone, please welcome Vice President joe biden [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the show. And thank you for being here. Its good to be here. Jimmy oh, please, its my pleasure. Just before we begin, im a a fan so go easy on me. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, thank you. Me, too. I actually met you once before. We were at a time 100 event. Thats right. Jimmy it was a beautiful event. I went up to you and i apologized for making all the jokes that weve made about you i said, but thats my job. [ light laughter ] and i didnt get a cut. [ laughter ] jimmy didnt even get one little cut. But, we actually did some research. Ive probably done 347 jokes about you while you were in office. [ light laughter ] shouldnt i get some royalty for that or something . Jimmy yeah, we can probably get you want some water . Got a mug of water we can offer you that. Ive not been gainfully employed since ive been 26. You know, i mean, im gonna need help when i get out of this job. Jimmy i remember when we were talking that night and i said, im sorry, you know, but i have to do these jokes. And you were a great sport about it. You said, well, imagine if i ran for president. Well, hell, your ratings would go way up. [ laughter ] jimmy i was bowing to you. I said please make that happen. Yeah. I got to see you speak that night and i have to say i was so impressed. You were just such an amazing uh oh. Jimmy no, im serious. It was a moving speech. And it was great. It was right after the Boston Marathon attack. And, you spoke so eloquently and beautifully about america and how, you know, we stand up to, you know, to these attacks and we dont let terror stop us. It just, it was fantastic. I mean, people were crying. When i say people, i was crying. [ light laughter ] you quoted an irish poem. And i think it was heaney or something. Seamus heaney, yeah. Jimmy Seamus Heaney . The cure of troy. Theres a stanza in this poem that i think describes where we are now, if were smart. He says, history teaches us not to hope on this side of the grave, but then once in a a lifetime, that longedfor tidal wave of justice rises up and hope and history rhyme. I really think were at that place in american history. If we just have the nerve to seize the moment. I the American People never bend, they never break, theyre generous. And i wish we would stop talking about how, what trouble were in. We are in a better position than any country in the world to own the 21st century. We really are. Jimmy thats right. We really are. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy anyway, i love that. Now that i have you here we should talk to you about the debate. Did you watch it . [ laughter and applause ] bless me father, for im about to sin. [ laughter ] jimmy what did you what did you think . What did you think of the debate . Where were you watching it . Did you have a debate party . Well, actually [ laughter ] and i was watching by myself. And for a while, i thought, ive never quite seen anything like that. [ light laughter ] jimmy you havent, right . Youve never seen no, no, i havent. And ive done, you know, ive done a couple debates. 71 people 71 Million People watched me debate sarah palin, or sarah palin debate me. And then i had a second debate, but you know i jimmy have you ever seen that many Fact Checking . It seemed like Fact Checking was a big thing. Well, i can tell you what, ive never seen anybody who knew as few facts. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] its not a joke its like, whoa. Jimmy the whole night was a a joke. Were you going, oh, that was good for hillary or that was bad or well you know what you tend to do is when youve had to do it yourself and you know every word you say is being flyspecked by everybody else. Jimmy yeah. Its a lot harder than when youre sitting on your couch going, i would have said that. I would have done that. Jimmy yeah. You know . Jimmy its like when you play jeopardy at home. Thats right. Jimmy yeah, you go, oh come on. You dont know final jeopardy . Well, ill tell you, this is real jeopardy. [ laughter ] we are in real jeopardy. Jimmy yeah, yeah. Anything surprise you at all . Well, you know what surprised me . And ill be serious for just a a second here. Maybe thats dangerous to do on this show. Jimmy no, please. Have you seen my monologue . Your monologues are good. Jimmy thank you. But, you know, what amazes me about donald trump, and its not hes probably a decent guy. But its his lack of sensibilities. I mean, the way he talks about, you know, well, you know, i was rooting for the Housing Market to fail because thats business. Thats not business. Thats callous. I mean, thats not business. Or i paid no taxes and that makes me smart. What does it make, the rest us suckers . I mean no, i really mean it. Think about it. Can you think of any president , any president youve studied, read about or knew who would say anything like that . Name me one president who would do that. It angers me quite frankly. Jimmy i didnt know you could choose to not pay your taxes. [ laughter ] well, you know jimmy cause im like, ive seen people like Willie Nelson and Wesley Snipes get busted and you go, why is it those guys . And this guy just doesnt have to do it . You know look jimmy is it a loophole . Its one of the things the American People really resent. The American People dont like being played for suckers. And you know, youve got somebody working the Assembly Line making 51,000 and his wife making 50,000 working as, you know, in another factory. And theyre paying 15 of their income, theyre trying to raise two kids. I mean, i just dont i cant imagine why somebody would say that. Like that makes me smart. You know, my dad had an expression, for real. When someone says, you know, joe, i pay too much in taxes. He said, look, its a small price to pay to live in this country. I mean, just pay your fair share, for gods sake. Jimmy yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i do. I know you do. Jimmy and i live in new york. Its like wow i know you live in new york and jimmy wow, yeah, yeah, yeah. Boy, oh, boy do i, yeah. Are you are you are you shocked that the polls are this close or are they this close or theyre just fake numbers . Well, i dont know. I yield to the audience on this. But the truth of the matter is, every election, president ial election, the last four, people are taking longer and longer to make up their minds. And i think but it has surprised me, i must tell you, it has surprised me, that he did as well as he did in the republican primaries. And it surprised me that hes sort of still in the game. And again, im not talking about his character. Im not attacking it. It just he just seems so ive never known of a candidate who knows as little about the world as this man does. [ light laughter ] no, no, really. [ applause ] look, look. I was in australia with the prime minister. Not had to, i went down there because he wanted to talk about china and southeast asia. And i got a call from the president of latvia. Would i come and speak to the baltic state president. I flew all the way there just to assure them that we, that republicans and democrats, thought the commitment in nato was a sacred commitment. We would defend them. Because trump is saying, im not sure, man. Have you paid up your dues, man . I mean, this guy i dont even think he understands how much damage he does, by what hes already said. I mean, because europe, especially central and Eastern Europe is scared to death about what putin may or may not do. And this guy i mean, look, but there is hope. He found out crimea is part of ukraine. I mean, you know, maybe hell [ laughter ] maybe hell find out it almost like the guy didnt really intend to do this. He thought that maybe this was a lark and it will go somewhere and my god, here we go, guys. Jimmy but have you seen gary johnson at all in any interview . He couldnt name a world leader yesterday. He couldnt name a world leader. Not one. It was very interesting. What do you say to people that are thinking about he thought aleppo was a dog food or something. I dont know. Jimmy he did, yeah. He didnt know. Yeah. Now, look, it just is, you know, ive traveled over a a million, 100,000 miles as Vice President , for the president. And a lot of the audience may have traveled to a lot of other countries. And the rest of the worlds, like, going, whats going on . But, look. I just think hillary, youd expect me to say this, okay . But hillary is one of the brightest people ive ever known. Has an incredible amount of experience. And i feel and i think shes going to win and i think well be in good hands. Look, nobody nobodys perfect. Everybody, you know, wants the ideal candidate. By the way, i learned how to become the ideal candidate. Announce youre not running for president. [ laughter and applause ] oh oh thats amazing jimmy thats what im saying more with the Vice President after the break. Stick around. [ cheers and applause ] e ] mom, i have to tell you something. Dad, one second i was driving and then the next. They just didnt stop and then. Im really sorry. I wrecked the subaru. I wrecked it. Youre ok. Thats all that matters. vo a lifetime commitment to getting them home safely. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Should be shared with friends and family. Except dennys allnew holiday pancakes. You wont want to share those with anybody. Dennys new fluffier, tastier, better pancakes now in holiday flavors. Was mr. Bonejanglesny expecting the perfect toy at an amazing price . Of course not. Hes a dog. But thats the beauty of a store full of surprises. You never know what youre gonna find, but you know youre gonna love it. For four years. You named it brad. You loved brad. And then you totaled him. You two had been through everything together. Two boyfriends, three jobs. Youre like nothing can replace brad. Then Liberty Mutual calls. And you break into your happy dance. If you sign up for better car replacement™, well pay for a car thats a model year newer with 15,000 fewer miles than your old one. Liberty stands with you™. Liberty mutual insurance. How do we measure greatness in america . Its measured by what we do for our children. Its why as president ill invest in our schools. In college that leads to opportunities. Not debt. And an economy where every Young American can find a job that lets them start a family of their own. Ive spent my life fighting for kids and families. I want our success to be measured by theirs. Im Hillary Clinton and i approve this message. Pat toomey and donald trump theyre just wrong for the women of pennsylvania. New fallout for donald trump. Should a woman be punshied for having an abortion . There has to be some form of punishment. For the woman . Yeah, there has to be some form. I would support legislation in pennsylvania that would ban abortion and i would suggest that we have penalties for doctors who perform them. Pat toomey and donald trump theyre not for you. Senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising. With simply right checking from santander bank, just make one deposit, payment, withdrawal, or transfer each month to waive the monthly fee. And theres no minimum balance. Youre alright with simply right checking from santander bank. Are you feeling alright, baby . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. Were here with the Vice President of the United States, joe biden, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you again for being here. I want to show everybody this thing that kind of went around. It was a memo that you sent to your staff and it kind of made the rounds. I dont know how it got public. But its unbelievable. It says, to my wonderful staff, i want to take a moment and make something clear to everyone. I dont expect nor do i want any of you to you miss or sacrifice important family obligations for work. Family obligations include but are not limited to family birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, and religious ceremonies such as first communions, bar mitzvahs, graduations, times of needs such as illness or loss of a a family. This is very important to me. In fact, i would go so far to say if i find out that you are working with me while missing important family responsibilities, it will disappoint me greatly. This has been an unwritten rule since my days in the senate. Thank you all for your hard work. Sincerely, joe. [ cheers and applause ] best thing i have ever read. And i loved it. Well, you know, when i first got to the senate, i got elected when i was 29. Before i turned 30, or just after i turned 30, i was down hiring staff. My wife and daughter were killed in an automobile accident. And my two boys were really badly injured. And i thought i was a decent father before then. But you realize that, you know, in my generation, it was about quality time instead of quantity time. There is no such thing as quality time. Every important thing your child will say to you will be off script, as they say. Will be at a time when you dont expect it. And kids can hold an idea for maybe 12, 14 hours. But after that, its gone, man. You lose it. And this idea of the way we all rationalize. You know . I had to take red eye to get home for a birthday. But you know, it really doesnt matter that much to my wife, her birthday. Or if i just make this business trip, ill miss his last Football Game but hell understand. A bunch of malarkey. Its just not true. Its not true. And i dont want anybody in my staff feeling an obligation to do something for me when there is something that matters in the family. And there is nothing noble about it. I do it. When i ran a second time, i was, i had missed 14 of the votes the first time. And i ran against a good guy. And he had a very effective ad. He said, would you hire someone who missed 14 days out of every hundred days . He wont work for you. And i never missed a vote, they were decisive procedural votes. I went on the air and i said, look, elect me again. And i have a choice between a a procedural vote or going on a a parentteacher meeting, im going to the parentteacher meeting. And if i can hold myself to that [ applause ] by the way, it is a lot easier for me because i have a million employers. No, i really mean it. It is harder when you have a a boss. So i felt, if could i do that, i should not hold my staff to any different standard. And by the way, i get more productivity out my staff than people get who are you know demanding. Jimmy i said to my staff, i love this idea if it doesnt interfere with work. [ laughter ] figure it out. We can talk. We can talk. Dont even think about it. The cue card guys are already leaving. Hey roman, nothing is happening this late at night. Okay, no ballgames are on right now. Anyway, jimmy i want to tell you. I thought it was a great thing, a great message. I have 2 daughters and i think about it all the time. I go, i just wish hold them tight, man. It goes. It goes very quickly. Jimmy i want to talk about its on us campaign. You have to be proud of this. Well, i am. My dad, my dad was a graceful gentle man. He used to say that the greatest sin is the abuse of power, and the cardinal sin of all is for a man to raise his hand to a woman or a child. We can change the culture here. We can change the culture. And no means no. If a woman cant respond because shes inebriated or under the influence, then its rape. Its real simple proposition. And im confident the vast majority you know, i had my staff, constantly survey when the effect has been, Violent Crime against women is down by over 60 . But one thing i found out. That women between the ages of 18 and 24, nothing had changed. They were being as brutalized as they were before. And thats when we started this notion of, we asked, we went on one of these town Hall Meetings with thousands of people in colleges. And we said what can we do . And they said get men involved get men involved in this process. Any man who takes a drunk woman up the stairs in a Fraternity House is a damn coward, man. There is nothing manly about this. They should get knocked on their ass. And we have to change the way we think about this. And im convinced, im convinced the vast majority of men understand and its about time we speak up and we intervene when we see it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats just amazing. Its not amazing. Im just too passionate about it. Jimmy i love all these things that you do and i want to get on a lighter note. Another thing i enjoyed was this photo of you eating ice cream with sunglasses on. [ light laughter ] and its just something, youre holding money. I dont know whats going on. [ light laughter ] i dont understand what this is about. But it really it was a payoff. Jimmy it made me laugh and i had to take this opportunity, since youre Vice President of the United States and you only have a few more weeks left. I was wondering if you would like to share an ice cream cone. Im in, man. Jimmy you are . This is the tonight dough ice cream. Ben and jerrys. And all the proceeds to go serious fund, which is paul newmans hole in the wall. It is. Good have you had it before . Youre forgetting the best part. You know, for my whole career, ive been listed as the poorest man in the senate. [ light laughter ] ive been wearing these since i was 16. Theyre coming back. Jimmy they are coming back. [ cheers and applause ] a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for being here, mr. Vice president. Well be right back with the performance of metallica, everybody. Stick around. [ cheers and applause ] not to be focusingo finaon my moderatepe. To severe chronic plaque psoriasis. So i made a decision to talk to my dermatologist about humira. Humira works inside my body to target and help block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to my symptoms. In clinical trials, most adults taking humira were clear or almost clear, and many saw 75 and even 90 clearance in just 4 months. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Ask about humira, the 1 prescribed biologic by dermatologists. Clearer skin is possible. But you dont lovereakfast. That you cant get all your favorites. But now you can get more of what you love. So you can find Something Else to not love. Like hearing the sound of your own voice. softly like hearing the sound of your own voice. Get more choices you love, now with all day breakfast. When you ache and havent youre not you. Tylenol® pm relieves pain and helps you fall fast asleep and stay asleep. We give you a better night. Youre a better you all day. Tylenol®. How do they make starburst taste so juicy . They use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] its about to get juicy. Whoo i feel so aliii. It takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. Unexplainably juicy. One pan, less than 30 minutes. Because if they arent going to eat it, at least you didnt spend too much time making it. Campbells one dish recipes. Made for real, real life. Redid you say 97 . 97 yes. You know, that reminds me of geicos 97 Customer Satisfaction rating. 97 . Helped by geicos fast and friendly claims service. Huh. Oh yeah, baby. Geicos as fast and friendly as it gets. Woo geico. Expect great savings and a whole lot more. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tonights musical guest is one of the most influential rock bands in music history. [ cheers and applause ] and has sold 120 million albums worldwide [ cheers and applause ] performing moth into flame off their upcoming album hard wired to selfdestruct, give it up for metallica [ cheers and applause ] blacked out pop queen amphetamine the screams crashed into silence tapped out doused in the gasoline the high times going timeless decadence death of the innocence the pathway starts to spiral infamy all for publicity destruction going viral light it up ah light it up another hit erases all the pain bulletproof ah kill the truth youre falling but you think youre flying high high again sold your soul built a higher wall yesterday now youre thrown away same rise and fall who cares at all seduced by fame a moth into the flame twisted backstabbing wicked the delusion absolution perjurer fame is the murderer seduce you into ruin light it up ah light it up another hit erases all the pain bulletproof ah tell the truth youre falling but you think youre flying high high again sold your soul built a higher wall yesterday now youre thrown away same rise and fall who cares at all seduced by fame a moth into the flame burn guarantee your name you go and kill yourself the vultures feast around you still overdose on shame and insecurity if one wont do that fistful will death scene black hearse the limousine a grave filled with seduction vaccine fame does the murdering she builds up for destruction so light it up ah light it up another hit erases all the pain bulletproof ah no excuse youre falling but you think youre flying high high again sold your soul built a higher wall yesterday now youre thrown away same rise and fall who cares at all seduced by fame a moth into the flame [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats how you do it. Come on thats it right there. Metallica there you go hard wired hard wired to selfdestruct is out november 18th. Well be right back, ladies and gentlemen oh, my goodness [ cheers and applause ] most people owe the bank. S and] but pat toomey actually owned a bank. And when he went to washington, he voted to change the laws. To benefit wall street and banks like his. Voting to gut Consumer Protections that crack down. On predatory lending and fraud. To take money from you and. Line the pockets of wall street millionaires like. Himself. Pat toomey out for himself, all in for wall street. Dscc is responsible for the content of this advertising. Republican party bosses looked to find Brian Fitzpatrick. Nearly three thousand miles thats how far away they handpicked him to run for his brothers seat. But all mike and Brian Fitzpatrick share is a name. Brian fitzpatrick supports a radical republican agenda, including defunding planned parenthood, just like donald trump. A hundred and sixty miles down the road in dc, Brian Fitzpatrick will put his party first, not pennsylvania families. House majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising. Vo donald trump and pat toomey anhave plenty in common. Theyre both putting pennsylvania women at risk. Even after trump bragged about sexually assaulting women, toomey stood by him. On Womens Health both trump and toomey would defund planned parenthood. On abortion trump there has to be some form of punishment toomey i would suggest that we have penalties for doctors who perform them. Pat toomey and donald trump too dangerous for pennsylvania women. Pat toomey and donald trump theyre just wrong for the women of pennsylvania. New fallout for donald trump. Should a woman be punshied for having an abortion . There has to be some form of punishment. For the woman . Yeah, there has to be some form. I would support legislation in pennsylvania that would ban abortion and i would suggest that we have penalties for doctors who perform them. Pat toomey and donald trump theyre not for you. Senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to Margot Robbie, Vice President joe biden, metallica, once again [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody [ cheers and applause ] e ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight ashton kutcher, mlb Network Analysts kevin millar and sean casey, cartoonist chris eliopoulios, featuring the 8g band with stanton moore. [ cheers and appuse ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening, everybody. Im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] that is wonderful to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. The second president ial debate will take place this weekend, and not as hillary requested, now. Now lets do it right now [ laughter ] the second president ial debate is this weekend in st. Louis, missouri