I said, no. [ light laughter ] this brings us to a new segment called i cant. [ light laughter ] seth i mean [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] i cant. [ light laughter ] announcer this has been i cant. [ cheers and applause ] seth president trump, last night, hosted the first fundraiser for his 2020 reelection campaign. The event was black tie, but white guests. [ light laughter ] president trump, today, met with the newlyelected president of south korea. Do you speak english . , asked the president of south korea. [ laughter and applause ] this weekend is the july 4th holiday weekend, or as your dog calls it, ptsd day. [ light laughter ] according to a new study, the bestreceived smiles are those that have a pleasing balance of teeth, which is incidentally the worstreceived compliment. [ light laughter ] has anyone ever told you how your balance of teeth is pleasing to the eye . Is this seat taken . [ light laughter ] a company in new york city has opened what some are calling a nonalcoholic cocktail bar that creates drinks using lemons and herbal ingredients instead of alcohol. And, this is cool. Theyre using empty chairs instead of customers. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, a new poll found that 10 of people post vacation photos on social media to make others jealous. And 100 of people click on them to see coworkers in a bathing suit. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause ] hes the creator of the hit broadway musical, hamilton. Linmanuel miranda is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] how about that . Very exciting. From the very funny film starring amy poehler and will ferrell, the house, my friend Jason Mantzoukas is back. [ cheers and applause ] and shes one of our alltime favorites. She has a new cookbook, a new way to bake. Its on stands now, and shell be cooking up some brunch favorites for us. The one, the only, Martha Stewart, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] so youre here on a very, very good night. Before we get to all of that, republicans are frantically working behind closed doors to win over enough votes for their healthcare bill in the senate, giving themselves a deadline of tomorrow to get a deal done. But theres at least one big thing making that difficult, the fact that the president doesnt seem to know anything about healthcare. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth Donald Trumps first five months in office has been mostly a series of setbacks. From record low approval ratings, to rapidly escalating special counsel investigations, to the unraveling of his Signature Healthcare bill. But, that hasnt stopped him from already looking forward to 2020 and benefitting himself financially in the process. President donald trump is kicking off his 2020 reelection fundraising. Last night, he held an event at his Trump International hotel in washington, d. C. Its a conflict of interest in terms of, you know, the money going to his company. He has not yet hit the sixmonth mark of his presidency, and now the first big Hotel Ballroom kind of fundraiser to, as our jeff zeleny was reporting to, according to republican sources, to ward off a potential primary challenger. At least say, hey, im not going anywhere. Seth you know things are bad when five months into your presidency, you have to tell people, hey, im not going anywhere. [ light laughter ] thats like hearing a couple is renewing their vows a month after the wedding. Its like, ooh, who cheated on who . [ light laughter ] also, how much more obvious can trump be about the fact that hes scamming us . Hes holding a highdollar fundraiser at his own hotel. When he does leave office, hes definitely stealing stuff from the white house. [ light laughter ] what, this . No, i brought this with me. This is my bust of abraham lincoln. [ light laughter ] but, trump has already focused on 2020. And, i guess in a way it makes sense because he loves running for president , but he hates being president. And the reason he hates it, is its hard. As evidenced by the fact that the signature legislation of his presidency so far, the gop healthcare bill, is one of the most unpopular pieces of legislation in recent history. In fact, multiple polls have come out this week on the senate bill, and each one somehow manages to be even worse than the last. Npr pbs news hour marist poll, overall 17 of americans support the Senate Republican plan. The polling out today on the bill is absolutely terrible for republicans. 16 of americans, according to quinnipiac. A u. S. A. Today poll 12 approval of this bill from the senate. Seth 12 . His healthcare bill is an iphone in a horror movie. [ light laughter ] its going to hit zero, and everyone is going to die. [ cheers and applause ] seth in fact, the bill is so unpopular, that trump is now at the point where hes promising a twist ending. Trump met with the World Series Champions cubs at the white house, yesterday. And for some reason, he felt the need to interrupt those festivities and make a vague announcement about the healthcare bill. And just to do a little official business, healthcare is working along very well. We could have a big surprise with a great healthcare package. So, now theyre happy. What do you mean by big surprise, sir . [ talking over each other ] i think youre gonna have a great, great surprise. Its gonna be great. Seth because thats what you want when it comes to healthcare, surprises. [ light laughter ] surprise thats not your xray this is your xray [ light laughter ] and yes, thats the sponge i left in there. Double surprise but if the cubs found themselves in the unenviable position of standing awkwardly next to trump while he rambled on about healthcare, they maybe should have taken their cues from pitcher carl edwards jr. , who skipped the meeting. Asked what he would do instead of meeting the president , edwards says, im trying to go see, like, the dinosaur museum. [ light laughter ] so, apparently, he went to the senate. Woo [ audience ohs ] oh [ scattered applause ] its a grumpasaurus. Now, you may be asking how did the gop healthcare bill get so unpopular . Well, aside from the realworld consequences, which would be devastating for millions of people. Theres also the fact that the president , himself, the most visible supporter of the bill, has never been able to articulate a convincing case for it. Now, hes very clear on how he feels about obamacare. Its a disaster. We need to repeal it. But, every time trump talks about his bill, he uses the vaguest terms possible, and seems at a loss to describe what any of it actually means. Heres trump yesterday at a round table event at the white house. Listen to the utter lack of actual details. Were talking about a great, great, form of healthcare. We are looking at a healthcare that would be a fantastic tribute to our country, a healthcare that will take care of people, finally, for the right reasons and also at the right cost. And what also came out is the fact that this healthcare would be so good, it would be far better than obamacare and would be much less expensive for the people, and actually much less expensive, also, for the country. So those are a lot of good factors. I think this has a chance to be a great healthcare. Seth he sounds like a High School Student who didnt read the book, or have the book, or know how to read. [ cheers and applause ] in fact, trump ally trump ally newt gingrich, the former speaker of the house admitted yesterday that trump is incapable of grasping the policy details, saying someone else should come up with an argument in favor of the gop healthcare bill, and then explain it to trump. Gingrich told the a. P. , trump will be able to repeat it with enormous effectiveness once somebody translates it. [ light laughter ] great. You know, just make sure that if you let him out of his cage, all the windows are closed. [ light laughter ] in fact, as trump has started to get more involved in the healthcare negotiations, more reports have started to leak about just how little trump understands about the issue of healthcare and the specifics of the gop bill. According to the weekly standard, several senators who have spoken with the president about the legislation describe an executive with little apparent understanding of the basic principles of the reforms and virtually no understanding of the details. The Washington Post reports that in private conversations on capitol hill, the president is often not taken seriously. Seth oh, really . [ light laughter ] congress doesnt take trump seriously . I wonder why . Our president , can you believe it . Seth no. [ light laughter ] no. They cant. [ laughter and applause ] they cant. Just take one basic detail of the bill, which is that it repeals most of obamacares taxes, resulting in more than 600 billion in tax breaks, mostly for wealthy families. Senators apparently raised that issue during a white house meeting with trump this week. But according to the senators present at the meeting, trump seemed to have no idea what they were talking about. A senator who supports the bill left the meeting at the white house with a sense that the president did not have a grasp of some basic elements of the senate plan. Seth watching this president try to negotiate a complex piece of legislation is like playing call of duty with your grandmother. [ light laughter ] which one is me . Why cant i go that way . Oh, no theyre shooting at us [ light laughter ] trump apparently did not like that story because he lashed out at the times on twitter, writing, some of the Fake News Media likes to say that im not totally engaged in healthcare. Wrong i know the subject well, and want victory for u. S. If you knows the subject well, you would know the goal isnt victory. Its good healthcare. [ light laughter ] i know baseball very well, and want many touchdowns for our team. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] also, any time any time trump shouts or says, wrong, its a classic tell that what hes being accused of is accurate. Remember donald supported the invasion of iraq. Wrong. That is absolutely wrong. Proved over and over again. Wrong. Seth he leaned into the mic like he was calling someones number at kfc. [ light laughter ] number 52, 12piece. Extra crispy. Oh, wait. Thats mine. I ordered that. In fact, trump is so in the dark about the actual details of the healthcare bill, that when he meets his gop senators, hes apparently adopted the tact of just agreeing with everyone, even if they want drastically different things. For example, there are conservatives like rand paul, who want the bill to go further enrolling back obamacare and moderates like Susan Collins who want it to be more generous. And yet, as politico reports, both left this weeks Obamacare Repeal meetings with trump, thinking hes on their side. Trump spoke for only about ten minutes, and when he talked, he seemed to agree with everyone there. One source told politico, he runs a good meeting, but he doesnt know anything. It was like, a ceo with his subordinates. No, it wasnt. Hes less like a ceo and more like a mall santa. A bike . Sure. A train set . No problem. Im not real . You guessed it. [ laughter and applause ] but, it isnt the fact that trump doesnt know anything that has made the bill so unpopular. Theres also fact that it betrays virtually everything he campaigned on. Its quite literally a massive tax cut for the wealthy, paid for by taking healthcare away from millions of people. Just to put in real terms how backwards this bill is, households with incomes above 1 million a year, would get annual tax cuts averaging more than 50,000 apiece, worth more than the cost of continuing Medicaid Expansion coverage for eight people. Just think about hat. Just to give one household a 50,000 tax cut, you have to kick eight people off medicaid. Thats just, um well, whats the word . Wrong. [ light laughter ] seth this healthcare bill is cruel and vicious, which shouldnt be surprising because it is coming from a president who is cruel and vicious as evidenced by his tweets today attacking, morning joes mika brzezinski. Trump, an oldschool misogynist, tweeted that, joe and mika came to maralago three nights in a row around new years eve and insisted on joining me. She was bleeding badly from a face lift, and i said, no. said no to what . Your [ bleep ] meds . [ light laughter ] trumps twitter rants have gone from confusing [ cheers and applause ] so confusing now his twitter rants have gone from confusing to, mommy, why is the man on the subway yelling so loud . And where are his underpants . [ light laughter ] yet the Republican Leadership continues to put up with it because if they do, they could trade your healthcare for tax cuts. To the likes of paul ryan and mitch mcconnell, Donald Trumps presidency is a filet mignon steak with a little piece of [ bleep ] on it. [ light laughter ] and theyre willing to ignore that [ bleep ] to get the steak. But its become clear that its actually a giant piece of [ bleep ] with a little bit of steak on it. [ light laughter ] and their attitude seems to be, well, were already at the restaurant. This has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with Linmanuel Miranda, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] so thats the idea. What do you think . Hate to play devils advocate but. I kind of feel like its a game changer. I wouldnt go that far. Are you there . Hes probably on mute. Yeah. Gary wont like it. Why . Because hes gary. phone ringing what . Keep going yeah. laughs voice on phone its not millennial enough. There are a lot of ways to say no. Thank you so much. Thank you so were doing it. Yes start saying yes to your companys best ideas. Let us help with money and knowhow, so you can get business done. American express open. Work. So you can gschool. Ness done. 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Look at us. Look at us. Its so nice to get out of the city. Its so. Quiet. Is it, too quiet . Its awful. Yeah. Feel at home, pretty much wherever you are. Tmobile is americas best unlimited network. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Give it up for the 8g band over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, this week has been so great. Hes the drummer from one of my favorite bands, interpol. Theyre going to be performing the entirety of their classic album, turn on the bright lights, for two shows here in nyc and as well in los angeles this september, sam fogarino, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, seth. Seth it was an absolute pleasure having you here. Its been great. Seth thank you. Can i come back . Seth yeah, yeah. You can definitely come back. Wed love to have you back. Our first guest is an emmy, grammy and tonywinning composer, playwright, and the creator of the hit broadway musical, hamilton, which opens in los angeles at the pantages theatre this august. Please welcome to the show, the very talented Linmanuel Miranda, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Im great. Thats my favorite interpol song you just played coming in. That was really seth its fantastic and im such a fan of the band. Yeah, me too. Seth when i first moved to new york, that was the album that i listen to all the time that made me feel like i was a cool guy who lived in a cool place. Its a great walking down the street in new york song. Seth it really is. And the nice thing about new york is its still, like even though new yorks changed a lot since 2001, a lot of it is kind of the same. Yeah. Seth yeah. Absolutely. Seth so, i want to [ light laughter ] first of all, this must be a very surreal time for you because you wrote a play i did. Seth about a very long time ago. So long ago. [ light laughter ] seth and yet, it feels it feels very current. [ light laughter ] why wont it stop being current . [ light laughter ] seth yeah you see lyrics on protest signs, at rallies. Yeah seth i think of it constantly. I think of the line, you dont have the votes, which seems to be something thats happening a lot. Right, the aclu tweeted that yesterday. Seth yeah. Youre going to need congressional approval and you dont have the votes. Seth yeah. Its true. [ cheers and applause ] i think its because i stumbled, on sort, of the origin story of the United States. Seth yeah. Which is, you know, the United States was bitten by a radioactive spider, and this is how we became who we are. And the fights that hamilton and jefferson had, you know, when are we a state . When are we one nation . When do we get involved with other countries . When is it you know, when do we mind our own business . Those are the fights were going to have as long as were republica, and so seth yeah. Yeah. Seth its really interesting because its such a fantastic show about this guy with this incredible vision, but you realized its the best he could do was convince half the people, which is ultimately what it seems like is the cycle were in. Right. Yes, totally yeah and there are competing visions of what this country should be. Seth yeah. He was very big government. He was fighting with jefferson, who was like, leave us alone with our farms and is slaves. Were fine. [ light laughter ] and they were just they were they were competing visions for this country. And and that it will always sort of be that. Seth now, a lot of politicians have come and seen the show over the years. And it sort of began one of the early performances of it was at the white house for the obamas. Is that correct . Yeah, thats right. I had written, not even one song, i had written 16 hot bars about hamilton. And when the white house sort of invited us, they were doing an evening of poetry and spoken word. And they said, wed love for to you do something from in the heights, which was my first show, but if you have anything on the american experience. Seth oh, thats great. And i was like, i do, i do have something. [ light laughter ] seth i cant i just i want to commend your confidence in saying, you know where ill workshop this . The white house. [ laughter and applause ] yeah. I figure if it doesnt work here [ cheers and applause ] seth yeah, if it thats true. Yeah. Seth it was your audience. If it doesnt play seth yeah. To the treasury secretary [ light laughter ] then its not going to play. Seth yeah. So yeah, that was a that was a very strange early lab we did at the white house. And and so i always knew and then you know that that went online. And it sort of went viral online for a little while. And the number one comment on youtube was always like, my history teacher showed us this. So i knew wed, like social studies teachers, were going to love this show. Seth yeah. I knew we would be okay with schools. Seth you thought that would be the ceiling. I was like, thats it seth yeah. I was like, we got school groups. We got at least a year of this thing. [ light laughter ] and then everyone else, the politicians, i mean, thats been a total surprise seth yeah. How how much theyve the room where it happens has become sort of, like, shorthand for being in the decisionmaking seth yeah. Play. You know, its really crazy. Seth and we were talking so now is all right, is it four places . How many places has no there so the san francis the cast in San Francisco right now seth okay. Is coming down to l. A. Seth got it. To the pantages theatre seth chicago, or do you yeah, chicago stays in chicago. Seth got it. Theyre kicking ass. Seth and is it is it strange for you now to have this thing that you have so much control over and were living every day, and now to know that it sort of satellites of it are popping out everywhere. Is that exciting . It it its really its the sensation of going from being a parent to a grandparent. Seth yeah. Its from, like, is the baby okay . Whats going to happen . Well, you know, what are we going to do today . To like, oh, theyre all so pret do whatever you want. [ applause ] youre all so beautiful and talented. Its fine seth yeah, and then you say to their parents like, give them space yeah, exactly. [ light laughter ] im the overly permissive grandparent. Seth yeah, youre just and im like, thats fantastic seth bringing sugar to the set. Totally. Seth and now you have a you have a charity youre doing. Yeah seth i guess, what would you call this . A stunt what are you what is the word for it . Its a stunt. Its a lark. Its a gape. [ light laughter ] seth hamforall. Hamforall. We, um we basically were raising money for this super group of immigrant advocacy organizations. And its really sort of on every front. And its called the immigrants we get the job done coalition. And, basically, what the carrot were dangling is tickets to 10 gets you a raffle ticket to win tickets to Opening Night in l. A. And afterparty with me and the insane people that are going to be at Opening Night of hamilton in l. A. But we we also have sort of the social media part, which is sing 16 bars from hamilton challenge to people. Seth and a lot a lot of people have done it, ben stiller, kristen bell. I think i saw rainn wilson doing it. Yeah, its the Harlem Globetrotters. Seth the Harlem Globetrotters doing, like, [ bleep ]. Seth yeah, they i was i was like, what is the Harlem Globetrotters doing . Then you realize, oh, yeah. The shot, of course. They did that. Seth yeah. Better them than the washington generals. They never win. Seth they never win. So is there a song that feels turns up the most . Is there one that yeah, dear theodosia seth yeah. Happens a lot. Youll be back, happen as lot. Seth easy ones. Theyre doing the easy ones. Easy ones. I mean ben stiller did a deep cut seth what did he do . He was like he did he and his daughter did hamilton versus burr, like, writing the federalist papers, like deep in like seth see, thats i like that. Like four minutes into a sevenminute song. Like it was like the deepest bside. I so that was seth it was of much respect, yeah. Yeah, much respect. Seth and then, i want i have one i want to show, megan amram, who is a really funny writer the greatest. Seth and she kind of tied it together with another one of these. Yeah. Seth so lets take a look real quick. Yeah, she threaded the needle nicely. I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love oh, [ bleep ] [ light laughter ] i i didnt know if this was a nice thing, but i figured just might as well in case [ light laughter ] seth it was nice because shes the best. Seth youre like, why why in the bath tub . [ cheers and applause ] exactly. Seth yeah. [ cheers and applause ] shes amazing. Seth congratulations on this as well. You found out you were getting youre getting a star on the hollywood walk of fame. Im getting [ cheers and applause ] seth but you would think you would think thats as good as it can get. But theres theres an extra element to the story that is beyond comprehension. Beyond comprehension seth because well you tell it. Well, i was having lunch with weird al yankovic at the time. [ laughter ] like you do. [ laughter ] seth yeah. Yeah, i was in l. A. Because i shot one of these ham for all videos with steph curry, and i went out to l. A. To do that. And i was having lunch with al, who has become a friend, which is one of the greatest sentences i ever get to say. [ light laughter ] and and someone approached us and said, you know youre both you should watch this. And they had the live stream of the announcement of the hollywood walk of fame, and we were both in it. Which is actually not the weirdest thing that has happened to me while hanging out with weird al yankovic. [ laughter ] one of which was, we were driving to Amoeba Records in l. A. , and at a stop light, because hes a very conscientious driver, weird al looked at his phone and went, oh, cool. And i went, what happened . And he said, tony hawk just named a move after me. [ laughter ] put his phone in his pocket, kind of driving [ laughter and applause ] seth congratulations on everything. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Seth its really great to have you here. Yeah, im a huge fan seth give it up for Linmanuel Miranda, everybody [ cheers and applause ] hamilton opens at the pantages theatre in los angeles on august 16th. For more information about the ham for all challenge, and to donate, please prizo. Com hamilton. Well be right back with Jason Mantzoukas, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] deartheres no other way to say this. Its over. Ive found a permanent escape from monotony. Together, we are perfectly balanced. Our senses awake. Our hearts racing as one. I know this is sudden, but they say. If you love something set it free. See you around, giulia agent broughton. Shes our best inte[ grunting ]ert. We have a mission for you. Shall we begin . Critics declare the first female 007 is here. Theres a double agent hunting our operatives. Find out who did this. And trust noone. [ suspenseful music playing ] someone set me up. Someone from the inside. They took everything from me. Mi6, cia. [ grunting ] everyones involved. [ gasp ] she made it out. Shes coming for us. Atomic blonde. Ah rated r. You feel the need to take. A smellfie. Hanes wants to end the smellfie. Those quick selfsniffs. To check the ol smell levels. But this thing weve all done doesnt need to be a thing. Theres a smart way to stay fresh. Hanes with freshiq advanced odorprotection technology. Get your free trial pack at hanes. Com. In new herbal essences its bio renew a blend of sea kelp, aloe and antioxidants that help bring your hair back to life. New herbal essences. Let life in. Its about time they gave left and right twix® their own packs. They got about as much in common as you, a mortician, and me, an undertaker. chuckling or you, a janitor, and me, a custodian. laughing or you, a ghost, and me, a spirit. laughing new left and right twix® packs. Its time to deside. This is how many people were born here. This many are fifth generation. This is how many are named hiawatha kitty mcgee. He keeps the town dry. Theyd prefer it a little wet. This many are proud of what we make here. This is how many will go around bragging about it. This is our town. If you cant get here, just look for one of our postcards. We send them all over. They look like this. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is a very funny comedian and actor you know from such films as neighbors, and dirty grandpa, and the shows transparent, and the league. He star alongside will ferrell and amy poehler in the house, which is in theatres tomorrow. Lets take a look. What do you guys think . I mean, am i in the bellagio right now, or am i three blocks from my house . I genuinely dont know. This is the best day of my entire life. Pretty good. [ laughter ] and we can gamble here for real money . I mean, this isnt like one of those charity things where you think youre winning, but then you have to give it to Cancer Research . You win it, you keep it. Let the games of chance begin [ cheers ] seth please welcome back to the show, Jason Mantzoukas, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you, my friend . Well, i did not get introduced with any of the awards that ive won. Seth oh, i see. [ light laughter ] Linmanuel Miranda comes out list of awards that hes won. Seth thats true. You said nothing about any of my awards. Seth what were the awards that we overlooked the most . Best beards in the biz [ light laughter ] seth thats an official award. By gentleman beards magazine. Seth okay, gotcha, that is best beard in the biz by gentleman beards. Thats great. Yeah, thats one of them. Seth was that have you only won that once, or . Yes. [ light laughter ] seth okay. Galifianakis wins every other year. Seth oh, right. [ light laughter ] oh, he took himself out of the running one year. He did just to cut me some slack because i was very melancholy about it. [ light laughter ] seth how much beard maintenance are you doing these days . Quite a bit. Seth yeah. Quite a bit, no, not much. I put a little bit of stuff in it, a little bit of oil in it. You know, and you got to run a comb through it to get the mites out. [ laughter ] you guys get beard mites, right . [ laughter ] seth yeah, yeah. And you have to and its true. You do have to you have like a letter you have to give the airlines when you fly oh yeah. Seth to show that your mites are like those dogs you bring that put you in a good mood. Yes. Yeah, you know how seth your support mice. They ask you, have you been on a farm or anything like that . I have to say, ive got my beard mites, but i came to this country with them, and im leaving with them. [ laughter ] seth gotcha. Im not trying to smuggle beard mites into your country. Seth what i come with, im leaving with. I have had this is true. I have had a guy come up when i was getting searched at the airport once, and surprise, surprise. I get searched randomly quite frequently. [ laughter ] the guy was giving me the fullblown touch my dick patdown, and this other guy comes up to him and goes, make sure you check the beard. [ light laughter ] so the guy has to be like, im so sorry. Im so sorry. Seth i think he was talking to himself. Yeah, yeah. He was like, what life choices have i made that make me have to finger this guys beard . [ light laughter ] and before you guys get weird about fingering a beard, its totally cool and done all the time. [ laughter and applause ] seth so you are tell us, you play frank in this movie. Yes, i do. Seth and tell as you little bit about frank. Frank is so will and amy are a suburban couple who have lost their Daughters College fund, cant put her through school, and if you can believe a world in which i am their degenerate gamblingaddicted friend . Seth yeah. I am that guy. [ light laughter ] seth thats the world. You talked last time youre here, that youve played a lot of scumbag characters. Yeah, we went through my imdb and ranked all of my characters seth yeah. On the scumbag spectrum. Seth where does frank fall . He falls kind of in the middle. Seth yeah. You know, because hes not theres no malice to him. Seth yeah. Like many of the characters i play, rafi, from the league have, like, a [ applause ] have, like, a real madness or malice to them. There is something crazy, and awful about them. Frank is, like, devastated, and heartbroken. Seth yeah. But there is, like, some joy, and there is, like, something nice about him. So you are rooting for him, even though he is kind of a scumbag. [ light laughter ] seth and you one of the its all improvisers. Oh yeah. Seth its all some of the funniest people you and i both know. The bench is deep. Seth the bench is deep. Theres one sort of outlier of somebody you dont know as much for comedy. Jeremy renner is in the film. Oh, yeah. Seth and how did Jeremy Renner hang . Oh, he was great. He came in he came in he comes in, in the third act as, like, the bad guy, the villain, like, the biggest bad guy we face, and for a dude who is, like, walking onto a set full of, like, murderers, comedy murderers, he was, like, so game, and so ready to hang, and we straightup lit that dude on fire. [ laughter ] in my mind i was like, well yeah, and then a stunt man is going to come in. And he was like you know, in that way he was like, yeah. Man. Lets do it. Lets do it. And i was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Seth yeah. This isnt what were doing. Seth because comedians only come up with ideas like lighting somebody on fire. Then they, like, get out of there. Yeah, and then we sat there, and watched him take after take, be straight up lit on fire. [ light laughter ] i was like, we are melting jeremy were going to melt hawkeye like a candle. [ light laughter ] this is not a good look. There was one its in the outtakes, too, at the end of the movie. Theres one take where theyre like, they pour, like, whatever the flammable fluid is all over him. Theyre like, okay, okay everybody get out of here get out of here they light it on fire, and they go, action and hes supposed to, like, wave it around, and its getting bigger and bigger. This dude is such a badass, he goes, oh no puts it out. [ laughter and applause ] i was like, are you [ bleep ] kidding me . This dudes such a badass, just waving that flames were like, were okay. Were cool. Seth hes the flame whisperer. Yeah. Seth you mentioned rafi. Thats his new movie, the flame whisperer. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. Yeah. Seth you have there are a certain kind of fan thats very excited to see rafi. Those dudes up there. Seth yeah. [ cheers and applause ] and rafi is so, such a degenerate guy yeah. Seth those fans maybe approach you in a different way. Those people genuinely think when they are meeting me that they are meeting a monster. Seth right. No matter where we are, like, in any envi if i was in the public library, like, looking through books, people would be like, oh, [ bleep ] what . Rafi . Rafi, stop looking at books you cant read [ light laughter ] but, i was in a mens room, in a public mens room recently i hang out in mens room. Its cool. Dont worry about it. Im in a public mens room, washing my hands, and a guy walks in, clocks me in the mirror, and he goes, oh, boy this guys here . I guess were all about to see his dick [ laughter and applause ] i was like, i guess so. [ laughter ] i dont know if they like me. He was a fan. Seth i remain a fan as well, but you dont have to. Thank you you know you can look at it any time you want. [ laughter ] seth thank you. But once youve seen it, you cant unsee it, and it is gross. [ laughter ] seth thank you for being here, buddy. Thank you, buddy. Seth i dont think we can top that. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Seth always good to see you. Jason mantzoukas, everybody the house is in theatres tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with Martha Stewart. [ cheers and applause ] hi, america rush in to old navy to celebrate july 4th in starspangled style get up to 60 off the entire store plus amazing summer styles from just two, four, six, and eight bucks come fly your flag at old navy and oldnavy. Com bill assumed his mayo was the best choice. Assume nothing. Just like the leading brand, kraft real mayo is made with high Quality Ingredients at a price you can feel good about no wonder kraft is so good. 60 of women are wearing the w. Experience leaks. Introducing always my fit. Find the number thats right for your flow and panty size on the top of any always pack. The better the fit, the better it protects. Always. The toothpaste that helps new parodontax. Prevent bleeding gums. If you spit blood when you brush or floss you may have gum problems and could be on the journey to much worse. Help stop the journey of gum disease. Try new parodontax toothpaste. More people are choosing nissan. Its americas best sales event at nissan the fastestgrowing auto brand in the u. S. A. Take on every day get 0 for up to 72 months on 13 models. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to late night, everybody. Were here with one of my favorite people on earth, Martha Stewart, everybody [ cheers and applause ] hello. Seth were so happy to have her, and were going to talk about her latest cookbook, a new way to bake. After all this time, you can still find a new way to bake . You certainly can. Seth thats great. Its all about alternatives. Seth alternatives . Yes, different kinds of flours, healthier, healthier alternatives. Seth now youre making the healthier choices . Oh yes. Seth oh really . Okay, thats exciting. Absolutely, because you can take half the white flour, and discard it, and add gram flour, or spelt flour, or whole wheat flour, or farro flour. Theres all kinds of seth i need three more flours from you. [ laughter ] okay. Seth so, what do we have here . Ive been drinking backstage. Seth oh, yeah. This is i might just not remember. Seth you knew there would be [ cheers and applause ] seth im a little concerned because you knew there would be two of us, and there are 12 glasses of wine. Yeah. Well, i thought maybe the band would have five. Seth yeah, well, im sure. You know, everybody theyre rock and rollers. They drink rose. So, pick up the box. [ laughter ] that tells the story. The box tells the story. Seth this is the thats it. Seth it tells the story . Yes look, Martha Stewart wine company. Seth its a very short story. [ cheers and applause ] there we go. But everybody wants convenience. Seth uhhuh. Everybody wants to be able to pour the right wine. Thats my motto. Pour the right wine. Seth uhhuh. And im making it easy by i will send you this. Seth uhhuh. You can buy six bottles, four bottles, twelve bottles. Seth i need three more numbers. Okay. [ laughter ] and you can get it every month or every two weeks. Whatever you need, we will send it to you. Seth okay, and do i tell what you kind of wine i want, or do i select . We can. You can order. We have, like, 69 different wines at present. Seth how many . 69. Seth okay. [ laughter ] i taste all the wines personally. [ laughter ] seth okay. And that is, that is a racine provence rose, which seth thats great. For summertime you can order just a box of roses to try. Seth okay, whats this . That is a moscato. Taste that. Seth okay, great. Thats more desserty. Its sparkling seth and is this do you chug it . [ laughter ] you can you do whatever you want. Awe, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] seth thats great. And that one is just a light rose. Seth okay. Its so beautiful. [ cheers and applause ] okay, he is ready and so, in addition to the wine [ light laughter ] seth yeah. We are also going to show you how to make some of these things from the book. Seth these are beautiful things from the book. Sausage, swiss chard strata. Seth that looks the best. That looks really good. That is a beautiful cake, a cake, a tart. That is a seth yeah, when you said cake i was like, what is wrong with her . [ laughter ] that is a tart. Well, its like seth i cant believe Martha Stewart called that tart a cake. Im sorry. [ light laughter ] im sorry. Seth honey, rewind the dvr. She did, right . I apologize. I apologize. So that is a blueberry ricotta tart in a wonderful crust. Seth okay. This oh, these are so good, these crackers, eat those with cheese. Seth okay, did you bring cheese . Those are wholegrain seeded. Seth did you bring cheese . No, i did not. [ laughter ] seth okay, well maybe next time. Oh, actually theres some cheese over there you can grab. Seth oh, great. Ill be right back. Yeah. [ light laughter ] see the cream cheese . Yeah, you can have some cream cheese. Seth great. [ laughter ] okay. And then we also have this wonderful this is so fun. You know pop tarts, right . Seth yeah, i know pop tarts. Okay, so these are homemade pop tarts. Seth these are homemade pop tarts . These are filled with raspberry, and theyre gram flour crust. It is so good. Seth thats great. What do you think . Is that good . Seth its great. Yeah, those are like hard tack. Seth hard tack . Yeah they are. [ laughter ] hard tack is not the most appetizing way to describe things. I like hard tack. I think its great. It lasts seth so, which one are you going to teach us how to make . Well, lets make the strata first, really fast because i dont want to run out of time. Now, you can be the tearer seth okay. Or i call them tearerists. [ light laughter ] seth okay. You tear the swiss chard leaves into, into the shallots. Seth how much do you tear them . Okay, you tear them into little pieces. No, you dont have to do the whole thing at once. You can take a few leaves and tear. Tear. [ laughter and applause ] two inch pieces, like seth two inch . Like this. Like this. Seth okay. Big. You throw this in here like that. Seth okay. Youve already done the stems, and theyre seth uhhuh. The stems are all so you do that, and you get this. [ cheers and applause ] then we have some sweet Italian Sausage. Seth thats exciting. Look how pretty the sweet Italian Sausage is. Seth thats great. So half that goes in the bottom. Seth uhhuh. Then a he has become a true tearerist. [ light laughter ] you know people who tear pages out of magazines . Seth people that tear pages out of magazines . Does that bother you . No, we call them tearerists also. Seth but if somebody went to your house, and you had a magazine out and somebody teared a page out, would you be angry . If its my magazine, yes, but its seth well its your house. Whose else would it be . If its somebody elses magazine, no. A little salt. A little pepper. Seth okay. Then this bread goes on here. Look at this. Seth oh, alright. Its so odd. Seth its so odd . Its such an odd thing. But you put this bread in here like this, and youll taste it, its so delicious. Seth i cant wait. Now, this is your supper. Seth okay, great. Is your wife cooking for you tonight . Seth no. No, okay. Seth no. [ light laughter ] i figured. Seth my wife gets very jealous when youre here. I figured i better i better cook for you. Then you put some more sausage on top. Seth great. And then you put oh, pour the egg, yeah. Seth is it all these eggs . All those eggs. Wait let me get this on here. Seth this is seven eggs . This is seven eggs. Seth okay. And some creams. Seth is it going to fit in there, or is it going to spill out . Its so funny, all of this stuff fits. Its crazy. Seth do you pour it, just yeah, pour it. Seth yeah. And it will go all through the whole thing. Seth oh yeah. Look at this. Look at that, see . Seth yeah. And then seth okay. [ cheers and applause ] some gruyere cheese. And get that into a 375degree oven for about 35 minutes. Seth okay. And then you want to see how to make the pop tart . Seth please. Because your child must be coming of age. Seth yes, he is coming of age. [ laughter ] pop tarts, pop tarts are probably going to be allowed one of these days. Seth pop tarts, drivers license, college. [ laughter ] so heres your raspberry jam. You roll these out seth do you make your own jam . Oh, of course. Seth okay. I guess if you make your own pop tarts. Yeah, if you make that, you better use your own jam. Seth uhhuh. Do you make your own do you make your own everything . Like, would you make your own, like, cocoa puffs . You came to my farm once. Seth i did come to your farm once. You saw i grow everything. Seth it was amazing. It was amazing. Yeah, i grow everything. Seth do you have are all the chickens that were there when i came . Are they all still alive . More, oh more. No, no. Those have been made into coq au vin. Seth okay. [ laughter and applause ] because there was one who was giving me a look like he was better than me just because he was your chicken. Oh, well. Who knows . Seth do you think your chickens are stuck up . No, i think theyre protective. Seth okay, of whom . Of me. Of me. Seth what do they think theyre going to do . You keep them in a coop. Theyre free range. Now, see pick that up, and you roll you put that seth its on something. See . Seth somethings on it. Now, your roll that. Seth oh, oh. So thats the easy way to move pastry. Seth im just going to okay. I thought you knew how to do this. [ laughter ] seth no, why would i know how to do this . I dont know, youre so seth heres how i make pop tarts. Youre so good at everything. [ laughter ] so, then [ cheers and applause ] press the edges. What are you doing . Seth meh. So press the edges down. Seth uhhuh. And then i want to you cut that into a perfect rectangle with this. Seth it already is a perfect rectangle. I know, but just straighten it. [ laughter ] you want it to look like that when its baked. Seth this does look like this. No, make the what are you talking about . Oh, cut the edges off . Yeah. Make the edges nice. Seth okay, alright, gotcha. Dont really seth hey, i want to ask you about this. You did your Second Season of a show with a show of snoop dogg. I did 20 more episodes. Seth 2o more episodes . Whats the name of the show . [ cheers and applause ] its called martha and snoops pot luck dinner party. Seth thats great. And its truly a pot luck. [ light laughter ] seth and what does snoops dressing room smell like . Its very heavily scented with herbs and greenery. [ laughter ] seth okay thats nice. Do you think he grows his own herbs . [ laughter ] thats his big business. Hes a billionaire from all that stuff. Seth really . Yeah, he took advantage of proposition 6 seth oh, okay. You know, and hes doing all that. I dont know though, because i have vowed never to go into snoops trailer. Seth why . I dont know why. I know seth thats the show i want to watch. Thats what i youre wasting too much of the pastry, but im not going to say that. Seth hmm. Im not going to say that out loud. Seth well i have other plans for it. Yes, what are you going to do, make another pop tart . Seth yes. Okay. [ light laughter ] so thats a nice gram crust. It has cream cheese, and butter. And what are you going to do with that . [ light laughter ] make that into something . [ scattered applause ] you can make it into a little jelly tart. Seth thats really great. See . Seth thats a nice one, i think. And then score this a little like this. Seth score it . Yeah, like that. Seth oh, thats great. So the steam can exhale. Seth okay. And then you brush it with an egg wash. And then bake this, id say 35 minutes in a 375degree oven. Seth oh, thats helpful. So you can put them both in together. Exactly. Seth yeah, see. I remembered that it was 375 for the other one. I know you did. Seth you probably didnt think i remembered because i been chugging rose. But guess what, i have a very high tolerance. [ cheers and applause ] so, and then seth every time, every time i come home after youre on the show, my wife says i smell like rose. [ light laughter ] she goes, have you seen martha . Uh, uh. Seth you smell like rose. Uh. Seth what are you putting on it now . Now this is just a little bit of a glaze. You just do your little art work here. Seth okay. You know your little Jackson Pollock thing. Seth thats beautiful. And this is confectionary sugar and lemon juice. Seth what happened to eating healthy . [ laughter ] well this is still healthy. Seth what . How much sugar, look seth that has a lot of sugar. This is hardly any. [ laughter ] seth what are you talking about . Im not going to use all of that on that. Im just using a little. Seth i think were you going to, but then i made you feel bad and shamed you out of it. [ laughter and applause ] if you look at the picture, the picture in the book, it does not have a lot. Seth i cant believe youre tricking me into looking at the book. Yes. Seth this is fantastic. When can i eat my stata . And you take that book home. Seth whats it called . A strata. Seth strata. Strata. Seth okay. Can i come over and have a bite of strata. Oh, i want to you taste it. Its so good. Seth okay, great. Here, help yourself. Seth thank you. Put it on the plate there. [ laughter and applause ] of course. What do you think . Seth mmm isnt that good . [ cheers and applause ] seth Martha Stewart, everybody a new wake to bake is available where books are sold. Everyone in the audience is getting a book tonight [ cheers and applause ] well be right back [ cheers and applause ] i dont think thats how theyre made. Klondike hooks up with tasty flavors. The best ice cream bars ever conceived. Hes got a condo. Hes got a car. Hes got a career. But that still doesnt mean he gets you. Time to shine. Orbit. Guyscause this is my jam. N. Showtime tell it to my heart tell me im the only one. Nailed it tim, nailed it. Thank you so much. Thank you so were a go . Yes we got a yes what does that mean for purchasing . Purchase. Lets do this. Got it. Book the flights hai si si ya ya ya what does that mean for us . We can get stuff. Whats it mean for shipping . Ship the goods. Youre a go you got the green light. That means go oh, yeah. Start saying yes to your companys best ideas. Were gonna hit our launch date scream thank you goodbye let us help with money and knowhow, so you can get business done. American express open. Allure best of beauty and marie so yclaires most wanted. One. Eyes show emotion, not your age. Olay eyes. Ageless. Tand, our adulte children are here. So, we save by using tide. Which means we use less. Three generations of clothes cleaned in one wash. Those are moms. Anybody seen my pants . Nothing cleans better. Put those on dad its got to be tide. Announcer for more late night, go to latenightseth. Com. Follow us on instagram and twitter latenightseth and be sure to check us out on youtube and facebook. Head over to itunes to subscribe to the late night with seth meyers podcast. Youll get a closer look and more downloaded right to your phone. Its time that we bring addiction out of the darkness and into the light. To everyone struggling in silence addicts, family, friends you are not alone. Its time we lift each other up, reach out, say something. Addiction is a disease. Dont suffer. Dont wait. Help is within reach. Call 844 reach nj or go to reachnj. Gov the road to recovery starts now. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to Linmanuel Miranda, Jason Mantzoukas, the one, the only, Martha Stewart, everybody. Sam fogarino, thank you for a great week. The 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] carson well, hello there. It is time for last call with me, carson daly. Thanks so much for being here. A good one tonight. Tennis system is gonna be the music. Well do that from the troubadour