Attorney general Jeff Sessions held a press Conference Today and recused himself from any department of justice investigations into the Trump Campaign ties to russia. Says trump, may i also be recused . [ laughter ] i dont like it here and i want to go do other stuff. Newly appointed interior secretary ryan zinke arrived for his first day of work today on horseback. Hey, dude. Maybe, not right now . Read the room. [ applause ] the senate today confirmed former Texas Governor rick perry to lead the energy department. That poor son of a bitch, said rick perry before he realized he was rick perry. [ laughter ] the senate today also confirmed ben carson as secretary of housing and urban development. The news came as a surprise to carson who thought he dreamed it. [ laughter ] Vice President mike pence announced today that he will give the commencement address this year at the university of notre dame. While steve bannon announced that he will be notre dames honorary hunchback. [ laughter and applause ] according to politico during a recent White House Communications staff meeting, press Secretary Sean Spicer made a deputy communication director cry. To be fair, all he said was, want to hang out later . [ laughter ] taco bell has announced its creating a hybrid of its quesalupas and dorito locos tacos called the dorito quesalupa crunch. Of course, if you can say that, youre probably not drunk enough to eat it. [ laughter ] i want that one. According to a new study, couples who choose mexico as their first vacation destination together were more likely to break up. Upon hearing this, melania sprinted to kayak. Com. Two for cancun, we leave today [ laughter ] and finally, the makers of twinkies are close to rolling out a twinkie flavored cappuccino at Convenience Stores around the country. Also, rolling out, people who drink twinkie cappuccinos. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. Shes one of our favorites. She stars in nbcs shades of blue. The wonderful Jennifer Lopez is back on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] the one and only. Also, theyre two of my favorite guys. Incredible comedians. They have a fantastic new show on Comedy Central called detroiters. Sam richardson and tim robinson are here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] cannot wait to talk to all of them. But before we do, this was supposed to have been the week donald trump got a fresh start as president. But now hes facing major new questions about his campaigns alleged contacts with russia. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth obviously donald trump got off to a rough start as president , but he finally had what many pundits considered a good day on tuesday with his first address to congress. The speech got glowing reviews from the media and trump was finally able to reset the narrative of his presidency. And you know what . I have been hard on him, but i think its only fair that we take a minute to celebrate. In fact, i got some balloons right here. And im going to start blowing them up to celebrate the fact that trump finally has everything under control. Were back now with our breaking news. Attorney general Jeff Sessions when he was still a senator and an advisor to the Trump Campaign had meetings with russias ambassador to the u. S. But did not disclose them during his conformation hearings. Leading democrats, including House Minority leader nancy pelosi and senator Elizabeth Warren are calling for sessions to resign. [ balloon squeaking ] [ laughter ] [ laughter and applause ] [ laughter ] seth we had [ bleep ] fireworks too [ laughter ] so obviously the timing of this latest bombshell was not good for the white house as they were trying to enjoy the success of trumps speech on tuesday. In fact, team trump was so happy that the staffs postspeech euphoria drove the decision to put off on unveiling the new executive order on migrant travel. For once we have the wind at our sails. A top aide said. We decided not to [ bleep ] on ourselves. [ laughter ] well, it turns out, when you eat kfc and taco bowls, that decision isnt always up to you. [ laughter and applause ] today trump went to virginia to speak aboard a new Aircraft Carrier named after former president gerald ford. And if he was hoping the appearance would shift the narrative away from the sessions story, im not sure he succeeded. In fact, as usual trump seemed just slightly out of his element aboard the ship. The soon to be commissioned gerald r. Ford uss, what a what a place. [ laughter ] its almost it really feels like a place. You stand on that deck and you feel like youre standing on a very big piece of land. But this is better than land. [ laughter ] now, that may have sounded asinine, but those are actually the words to the navy fight song. What a what a place it almost it really feels like a place you stand on the deck and you feel like youre standing on a very big piece of land but this is better than land go navy [ cheers and applause ] seth so turns out trumps attorney general, who is also a former adviser to his campaign, as well as, the first person in the senate to declare support for trump met with the Russian Ambassador while russia was also allegedly engaged in a campaign of Cyber Attacks to interfere in the election. Now, this is problematic for a number of reasons. For one thing, sessions was asked about this very topic under oath during his Senate Confirmation hearing and gave an answer that now looks like it was false. If there is any evidence that anyone affiliated with the Trump Campaign communicated with the russian government in the course of this campaign, what will you do . Senator franken, im not aware of any of those activities. I have been called a surrogate at a time or two in that campaign and i did not have communication with the russians. Seth of course at the time it seemed believable enough. Certainly a senator from alabama named Jefferson Beauregard sessions would remember meeting some russians. [ laughter ] now, we dont get a lot of ruskies down to this neck of the woods. Can you get you some lemonade . You must be awfully hot underneath that big old furry hat. [ laughter ] now today sessions announced that he will recuse himself from any investigation into contacts with Trump Campaign aides and russian officials. But when the news broke last night, sessions office in the white house issued a series of contradictory statements that in classic trump fashion did absolutely nothing to clear things up. First sessions spokeswoman confirmed that he met with the Russian Ambassador but claimed he did it not as a Trump Campaign adviser but as a senator. This is what a Spokes Person for the attorney general put out as a statement just a short time ago. And ill read it here. There was absolutely nothing misleading about his answer. He was asked during the hearing about communications between russia and the Trump Campaign. Not about meetings he took as a senator and as a member of the Armed Services committee. Seth you see, honey, i slept with that other woman as accountant mike. Not as your husband mike. [ laughter ] its totally different. Also it should be noted that franken asked sessions if he knew of anyone in the Trump Campaign speaking with russians. And sessions went out of his way to mention he worked for Trumps Campaign and he didnt talk to the russians. Thats like your wife asking do you think our son has a drug problem . You say, no, and i dont either its suspicious. [ laughter ] so, that was the first statement sessions office issued. Then a white house official told cnbc the meeting involved only superficial comments about electionrelated news. That was then followed by a third statement from sessions himself which said, i never met with any russian officials to discuss issues of the campaign. I have no idea what this allegation is about. It is false. I met with him, but i dont know what youre talking about. We discussed the election but we didnt. It was normal for me to meet with him but everything youre saying is false. I guess we shouldnt be surprised since leprechauns always talk in riddles. [ laughter ] whats like a piece that moves like land but its bigger than land . [ laughter ] now today sessions said, he did not recall discussing the election with the Russian Ambassador. But one of their meetings occurred on september 8th, the day after a nationally televised Candidate Forum on nbc where trump made headlines by saying this about putin. Well, he does have an 82 Approval Rating according to the different pollsters do you wanna be complimented by that former kgb officer . Well, i think when he calls me brilliant, ill take the compliment, okay . If he says great things about me im going to say great things about him. Ive already said he is really, very much of a leader. I mean, you can say, oh, isnt that a terrible thing. Seth okay. I will. Oh, isnt that a terrible thing. [ laughter ] now look, there could certainly be legitimate reasons for sessions to meet with the Russian Ambassador. Its the fact that he withheld that information from congress thats the problem. And it comes after a series of incidents in which trump officials, like former National Security adviser michael flynn, have been cagey about their contacts with russians. Just take trumps former campaign manager, Paul Manafort as an example. During the campaign, manafort was asked directly if trump had any financial relationship with russian businessmen. And he was so uncomfortable he couldnt even mumble his way through a convincing answer. So to be clear, mr. Trump has no Financial Relationships with any russian oligarchs . If thats what he said i dont thats what i said thats obviously what the our position is. [ laughter ] seth i think the words youre looking for are hummanahummanahummana. [ laughter ] look at him. Thats the face you make when your wife snatches away your newspaper and screams, whose earrings are these . Umm uh, theyre mine. Im in a play and im a pirate. [ laughter ] of course part of the problem here is that we know very little about trumps possible ties to russia. A debate he could settle immediately by releasing his tax returns. Instead, trump has been just as cagey as the people around him, contradicting himself repeatedly when asked whether he knows or has any relationship with Vladimir Putin. What exactly is your relationship with Vladimir Putin . I have no relationship with Vladimir Putin. Do you have a relationship with Vladimir Putin . A conversational relationship . I do have a relationship. I have nothing to do with putin. Ive never spoken to him. I spoke indirectly and directly with president putin, who could not have been nicer. I have nothing to do with russia. I told you. I have no deals there. I was in moscow a couple of months ago. I own the Miss Universe pageant. I dont know putin. I have no idea im not asking that. Im asking do you i never met putin. This is not my best friend. They treated me so great. [ laughter ] putin even sent me a present. Beautiful present with a beautiful note. Seth and he put so much thought into the note. He even cut all the letters out from different magazines. [ laughter and applause ] so touching. So touching. Slid underneath my hotel room door. So, now with the questions swirling about the Trumps Campaigns contacts with russia and the involvement of the attorney general in that investigation. Even some republicans are beginning to call for an independent investigation. Find a very smart independent person, put them in charge of the whole project and say, you know, there are questions here. The country has questions, the media has questions. There may be nothing there but if theres something there that the fbi believes is criminal in nature, then for sure you need a special prosecutor. Seth thats how crazy things are right now. Were not even six weeks into the Trump Presidency and people in his own party are already talking about a special prosecutor. Its like youre on the third date with someone and youre already introducing them to your divorce lawyer. [ laughter ] and yet on the other hand, some of the republicans in congress who are supposed to be looking into this matter have already been siding with the white house before the facts are even in. Take House Intelligence Committee chairman devin nunez. Trump administration recruited him to talk to reporters and debunk the russia allegations before his committee had even completed that investigation. And earlier this week when reporters asked him if that was appropriate, his answers were not super convincing. Why would you agree to be to talk to reporters at the behest of the white house knowing that youre still looking into this matter . Yeah, so thats that story was a little odd, i thought. Because if you ask me to contact the white house and said, hey, could you set me up with somebody at d. O. D. Or the intelligence agencies, i would say sure. If the white house asked me to talk to you, would you think that would be okay or not okay . Whats your response to that . Well, whats your response to it . [ laughter ] seth whats your response to that . Whats your response to that . Youre the congressman. No, youre the congressman [ laughter ] what . Youre fake news youre all fake news look, we need a full and independent investigation to get to the bottom of this. And its clear that Jeff Sessions cannot provide that. Congress needs to get the American People concrete answers, because so far all weve heard are answers like these. Thats what i said thats obviously what the our position is. [ laughter ] seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with Jennifer Lopez, everybody. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. No, this is double espresso. Hodor hodor ehhh, hodor. You guys watch game of thrones, right . Inconceivable surely, you cant be serious. I am serious. And dont call me shirley . Stream all your entertainment. Introducing at ts new unlimited data plans. Plus, get the amazing new iphone 7 on us. Delicious, freshly brewed coffee cits one dollar. Go to mcdonalds and get 1 any size coffee or 2 small specialty beverage. And, every 6th mccafe beverage is free with our app. Wake up and win the day. Classic hersheys outside. With a new creamy, crunchy inside. New hersheys cookie layer crunch. Classic reimagined. Hey, bud. You need some help . No, im good. Come on, moe. I have to go. vo we always trusted our Subaru Impreza would be there for him someday. Ok. Thats it. vo we just didnt think someday would come so fast. See ya later, moe. vo introducing the allnew Subaru Impreza. The longestlasting vehicle in its class. More than a car, its a subaru. I. Prilosec otc 7 years ago,my doctor recommended. 5 years ago, last week. Just 1 pill each morning, 24 hours and zero heartburn. Its been the number 1 doctor recommended brand for 10. Straight years, and its still recommended today. Use as directed. Seth welcome back, everybody. Please give it up for the 8g band, right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, all this week, weve had a legendary drummer sitting in with us whos played with world renowned artists like Herbie Hancock and sting. And has a new streaming site for oneofakind music performances launching in april called live muse tv. Vinnie colaiuta, everybody thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you seth seth been a fantastic week. Great having you. Our first guest tonight is an actor, singer, and all around superstar. The Second Season of her hit nbc show shades of blue premieres this sunday at 10 p. M. On nbc. Lets take a look. Say goodbye to christina. I sent her to my sisters. I was turning myself in. You know that, right . What did stoltz say when you brought up the prostitute . That was a great tip, harlee. He rolled right over. Then whyd they let you go . Who said they let me go . Seth please welcome back to the show Jennifer Lopez, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] seth im so happy to have you back. Hi seth you look wonderful. Thank you. Seth and im glad to see how wonderful youre looking, because i saw on instagram that i guess while you were shooting an episode of your show, you got a black eye. [ laughter ] you did, right . Im not making this up. Yes, i did get a black eye. But that was actually this is its an unusual story, but i sometimes when i record records, i lie down on the floor and they put the mike above me. Seth okay. Okay. And i never really realized how heavy those mikes were because theyre always like, sitting in front of me. And so i was never afraid of them. Now im afraid of them because, it fell. The engineer was like switching the microphone. And it fell and it was like literally a 50 pound weight fell on my face. Seth oh my goodness. And i was like and i started bleeding. I was like am i bleeding . Whats happening. Seth i so assumed this happened while you shot your cop show. Yeah, no. [ laughter ] seth where youre running around. What was funny i know and its funny because i had done a scene with the character stahl, whos played by warren kole, and we had a very physical scene. And he wrote me when i posted that and was like, did i do that to you . I was like no, baby. Seth no. No baby, it was me. Seth its because, again i did it to myself. Seth so and, just in the laziest way possible. Just lying down. Mike over your head. Okay, lets do another take. Im just going to go to bed. Yeah. [ laughter ] i just find that when i lay down, i relax more when i sing. Seth that makes sense. I dont know. Its like a different tone. I just like it. Seth i am a terrible singer, but im going to try that. Maybe mayber i have maybe ive been in the wrong maybe itll help. Seth ive been in the wrong position. Yeah. Seth so season two of the show. Its a great show. Fantastic cast. Thank you, yes. Seth ray liotta in the clip. So what season two, what are we looking forward to . I mean, you know, i dont know if anybody saw the first season, but we ended on a very intense note. I have a dead body, i have just snapped someones neck and theyre lying on my kitchen floor. Seth okay, thats pretty good. You know, another day at the office. And rays character has found out that i was the informant. Which was kind of the whole arc of the first season. Seth yeah. And hes about to be picked up by the fbi because he took the rap. So where we pick up, we pick up right where we left off. And it just goes crazy from there. Seth fantastic. I mean, it was crazy the first season. And then like every time we got a script this season, i was like, okay. Seth well thats a thing. When you have a crazy show, you cant do you want me to take a chisel and do what . Okay, okay. [ laughter ] im not mentally prepared for this part. Okay. Seth but thats great. No, thanks. Seth congratulations on the show. Yeah, thank you. Seth congratulations on this as well because i think it speaks to the breadth of your talents that youre doing a show like this and youre also doing a residency in las vegas right now. I am. Seth youre back on stage doing your show in vegas. Hows that been . Its been amazing. You know, i was actually really scared when i took it on. Because its such a long its a long commitment. Seth yeah. The first year was 40 shows plus doing this show. And i was like, how am i going to do this. But its been amazing. We put together a really beautiful show. People are loving it. You guys should all come and see the show in vegas. Its a lot of fun. Seth and i heard your shades of blue cast came and saw it. They did. They came to the opening last january, so ive been doing it a year. Im in my second year already. Seth thats great. And its just its a very highenergy show. I do all my songs and its awesome. Seth it must be exhausting. Its exhausting. Seth yeah. But i did that to myself. Again, like this i did it to myself because i created the show. Seth right, exactly, yeah. I, you know, everything was my idea. And i just i wanted every section to be so, like, tada you know, like at the end of it everybodys like yeah. And im dying. Im dying through the whole show [ laughter ] because everything is like that. Every single section. And then i like have a, you know, 40 seconds to change for the next section or a minute and a half. You know, i, like, do a video or whatever. And i have to get right back. So for two hours, its like a marathon. Seth and you have to have respect for the fact that every night the people are seeing you its probably one of the biggest things theyre doing all year. Yeah. They might see it just one time and, you know, they dont want no. The show is called, all i have, and literally its all i have every night. Seth i now want to take it back. You were not lazy when you were lying down before. You just needed a break. I was taking a break. Seth you just needed a break. Exactly. Seth true story that i heard two of your dancers got engaged on stage. Or one of them proposed to the other. This is true. This is true. Its funny, one of my dancers tara who has been with me for so many years, maybe ten years shes been dancing with me. She even started as an assistant to a choreographer. And then became a dancer. So ive known her for so many years. And her boyfriend who went on tour with me, one of the dancers who went on tour with me back in 2012 when we did that, we were all on tour together for a year. They were boyfriend and girlfriend. And he came to me at the beginning of this run in february and he goes, i want to propose to tara. And i kind of got like, mom. Like im like, so youre not going to mess this up, right . Like, if you guys get married i dont want you to get married on my stage and then, like, you wind up being an idiot or something. Seth you also have to say, how sure are you shes going to say yes . Right. Seth because thats a hard thing to recover from in your show. [ laughter ] well, its funny because we did it at the end. And for a second, you know she was the minute he came out, she started crying. But you know, she didnt answer. And i was like, yes or no . Yes or no . [ laughter ] like, im looking at her going yes or no. She was like yes. I think she said yes. I was not going to let it i was not going to let it like go bad. Seth and then thats when you hope youre not steve harveying it. Like she said no and you tell everybody, like, she said yes actually, she said no. Yeah. But it was actually a really beautiful moment. Seth thats great. He said all the right things. Seth oh thats fantastic. I was like good job. Seth and talk about another thing being in vegas. Thats what you want to see. I feel like people get proposed and get engaged. Get weddings. Seth yeah exactly. Your mom i know this is true, your mom once in Atlantic City won 2. 4 million. She did on the slot. Seth on the slot machine. On the slot machine. Seth that is a true story. Yes. Seth thats crazy. How long ago was that . This was years ago. This was like oh, god seth but like youre a kid or youre already you already have a career . No. I was an adult. It was 2004. Yeah. 2004. Seth oh wow. Her friends must have been so mad. I mean seth like already she has Jennifer Lopez as a daughter and then guess what this crazy thing happened. Yeah exactly. Its funny. My moms the type of gambler who rolls solo. Seth okay, oh gotcha. You know what i mean . Shes one of those crazy ladies that walk really fast in the casino. Seth gotcha. Goes to a machine and gets three machines going and does this all the time. Im like, mom, what are you doing. She says thats how you have to play. Thats how you have to play. Thats the only way you win. I mean she has a whole, like, method seth and now, you probably after the 2. 4 million you probably cant criticize the method. No im like, okay. I guess thats how you do it. Yeah. [ laughter ] seth so im assuming she comes to vegas see your show. Oh my god. Seth does she still gamble . Cant keep her away. Yeah, no, she loves it. Shes a gambler. Thats what she loves to do. Shes like thats what i like to do, i dont like to do anything else. I just like to play my slots. I was like, okay. Knock yourself out. Seth it worked out. You have twins. Boy and a girl. I do. Seth just turned 9 . Just turned 9. Seth congratulations. I feel like they were born yesterday. Seth thats what everybody says. Im coming up on 1 year old and it moves so fast. Its so fast. Seth and what do they do for their birthday . Whats their we just had a party at the house. A little party at the house with the whole family. Their dad was there. Their, you know, their grandma. Everybody. Just the whole family was there. Seth great. We just had a nice little regular puerto rican house party. Seth thats great. [ laughter ] i bet nothing about that would be regular to me. Yeah. [ laughter ] yeah, youre right. Youre right. Start cooking and everybody was like were hungry. I was like, the hot dogs werent enough . Okay. Seth and then, i know your daughter is into fashion. Is that accurate. She is. Actually she made me a dress for christmas. Seth really . Shes really into sewing. And its funny because my grandmother, my moms mom was a seamstress her whole life and she passed away just as i was pregnant. And i feel like her spirit or her soul is with emmy. And she since about two years ago when she was 6 became obsessed with sewing. And she sews on a sewing machine. I cant sew on a sewing machine. You know, and she sews on a sewing machine and she comes home with pillows and stuffed animals and dresses and her halloween costume. Seth its so cool because thats one of the few things that from when we were growing up to now, theres not an app for it. No. I love that. Seth you have to know how to use the machine to do it. Yeah. She loves fashion. But she made me a dress for christmas. Shes like, mom, whats your favorite color . Im like, emerald green. She was like, okay. And she goes out and she like shows me the material. Im like, what are you doing . Christmas i opened the thing and she made me this dress that was short in the front and long in the back. And it fit me perfect. She got my measurements. She was 8. You know . Im proud of her. Seth she set way too high a bar. [ laughter ] whats she going to give you when shes 17 . Shes already blown it. Couture. Seth couture, exactly. [ laughter ] thanks so much for being back. Always so great to see you. Thank you. Seth Jennifer Lopez everybody, shades of blue premieres this sunday on nbc. Well be right back with more late night. vo do not go gentle into that good night, old age should burn and rave at close of day; rage, rage against the dying of the light. Do not go gentle into that good night. School lunch can be difficult. Cafeteria chaos. One little struggle. Can lead to one monumental mishap. Not with ziploc easy open tabs. Because life needs ziploc. Sc johnson. That ride share . You actually rode here on the cloud. Did not feel like a cloud. That driverless car . I have seen it all. Intels driving. The future traffic lights, street lamps. Business runs on the cloud. And the cloud runs on intel. I wonder what the other 2 runs on. car horn its lunchtime. Stop what youre doing and head to subway. Because right now you can get the subway footlong sub of the day for just six dollars. Its the six dollar footlong sub of the day. A great value from a better subway. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. Give it up one more time for Jennifer Lopez, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] such a fan of hers. So great to have her on. But while i was going through the show this morning with my writers, we realized there actually might be a problem. Take a look. All right, everybody. Lets go through the rundown. Act one tonight, monologue. Act two, were going to do a closer look and then after commercial we come back in act three and we have Jennifer Lopez on the show tonight, which is pretty exciting. Mike, is there a problem . Its just, we used to date. So seth who dated . Me and Jennifer Lopez. Seth no. No, you didnt. Yeah, yeah, we did. Were in the same level of attractive so it just kind of made sense. [ laughter ] seth that is objectively untrue. No, seriously. Take another look at her. Shes super pretty. Seth not what i was disagreeing with. [ laughter ] im going to go on record here and say i dont even a little bit believe that you dated Jennifer Lopez. But in the interest of not having to go back to this meeting, sorry, when were you two a couple . I think like 2002. So when you were in high school . Yeah. That sounds about right. Seth no. It sounds really wrong that Jennifer Lopez would date a high schooler. Also, im pretty sure Jennifer Lopez was famously engaged in 2002. If so, thats on her. Its not on me. [ laughter ] im on her Wikipedia Page and it says that Jennifer Lopez was engaged to ben affleck. Well, there you go. People always say im like a handsome ben affleck. [ laughter ] seth who says that . I think i heard amber and jenny say it once. [ laughter ] bitch, i try not to even look at you. [ laughter and applause ] i said you looked like a melted ed norton. [ laughter ] oh. I see it. Oh, yeah. Seth like at the end of 25th hour, face all busted up. Mike, no one in this room believes that you dated. I know my man jermaine does we dont have a friendship. [ laughter ] all right. Well, im a gentleman so im not going to tell you guys what base we got to, but first. Seth mike, i need you to admit to all of us that youre lying. And then we can get on with it. Wait shut up for a second. Who is that . You know, i guess i dont know where id go. Somewhere hot, somewhere warm. Seth what the hell are you talking about . Oh, come on. I know youre a family man, but that woman on the today show is insanely hot. Seth mike, thats Jennifer Lopez. Thats Jennifer Lopez . Seth i thought you said you two dated. I didnt date that Jennifer Lopez. That woman is so smoking hot i just crapped me and jermaines pants. Oh, my god. He did. Seth im sorry. Which Jennifer Lopez were you dating . Clearly not that one. I look like a melted ed norton. [ laughter ] then, which Jennifer Lopez . Cooks meth. Just got fired from dave and busters. Which kind of makes sense cause she does not play games. Where did jermaine go . Remember you just crapped his pants . Oh. Seth mike, how do you nope, im sorry actually i want to start with this, why would you ever think your Jennifer Lopez would be a guest on our show . I dont know. Meth cooking segment . Honestly, i think you made the right choice on booking that one. Seth this was never a choice. Can we move on now . Yes, please. Im sorry. I believe we were on act three. Seth yes. Famous Jennifer Lopez in act three. Celebrity foreskin in act four. In act five how come you and jermaine both crapped your pants but only he left . Shh. Seths talking. Seth well be right back with Sam Richardson and tim robinson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] i will never wash my hair again. New pantene doesnt just wash your hair, it fuels it. Making every strand stronger. So tangles dont stand a chance. Because strong is beautiful. The lis here, where perfothe adventure,vent capability and versatility will last. But the offers. Will not. Experience our most elevated suvs ever with the lx, gx, rx and nx at the lexus command performance sales event. But dont wait. This event ends march 31st. Experience amazing. Because when it comes to great tasting water. Fill quickly and pour immediately, for great tasting water. Fast. New brita stream. Im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. Give it. Sure its free for everyone. 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Oh, i know. You dont have to tell me. Youre fiddling with your balls. Whats wrong . Hes nervous about his speech. Oh, hey, molly. Oink oink i thought i smelled bacon. Thought this was a birthday party, not a pig roast. So good to see you too. Yeah, you too. Wheres your box of doughnuts . Careful or ill bust you for that crack in your pocket . What crack in my how in the hell did you do that . [ laughter ] seth please welcome to the show Sam Richardson and tim robinson. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome, guys. Thank you. Seth so happy to have you here. Tim this is a return though, to the set. It is a return, yes. Seth because you were actually it was a different set you were on the show so early. You were on the fifth episode of late night where you played my emergency sidekick, dale. Yep. Seth and there you are. And like everybody go ahead. That was back when you had the show completely figured out. [ laughter ] seth right out of the gate. I dont know what youre doing now. Seth you dont like it as much . Dont like it as much. [ laughter ] seth its like everybody who ever left snl, you look so much better now. Everybody leaves snl and life gets back together. Absolutely. Eating healthier. Eating healthier, for sure. That is a swollen boy. Thats a swollen, swollen man. [ laughter ] a lot of salt. Seth you got to salt your way through snl. So detroiters, congratulations, guys. The shows so funny. Youre both from detroit. Im from the suburbs. Seth and yet [ laughter ] i have to say that. Seth you have to say it . Because you cant show your face in detroit if you said you were from detroit . Yes. I want to be completely honest. Seth got ya. Thats authenticity is very important in detroit. Very important. They fact check. [ laughter ] seth and the show is very authentic to detroit. What inspired it and tell us about the guys you play on the show. We play like ad men who make local commercials. And its basically inspired by the commercials that sam and i watched growing up. Were like, who makes these crazy commercials . Like, we should play the guys that make those. Seth what are some of the crazy commercials that inspired you from your youth in detroit . There are commercials like the suburbs. [ laughter ] seth this is detroit. The greater detroit area. Thank you. Say metro detroit. It is true. All encompassing. They were commercials like d. O. C. Sexy specs. With richard golden. Seth yeah. Theyd like kind of dance around. Seth but their wearing sunglasses . They have sunglasses but also mostly regular glasses. And he would just go like he called them sexy specs. And so in every commercial hed be like, so i guess ill do like a little sexy dance. And so in every commercial, hell be like, check out my sexy specs. Maybe like one shot of the glasses and then rest is him like just him like [ laughter ] seth and it obviously moved a lot of glasses. It did. It worked. It worked. Seth you guys met at second city, detroit. And you were originally sams teacher, tim . Thats right, yeah. Seth did you immediately see talent in sam that made you think this guy was going to make it . Definitely. Definitely. I very much favored him. It was unfair, in fact. It was very unfair. Seth do you think its likely there are some other people who are in that class watching right now saying, i knew it. I knew it. I knew he had a hard on for that other guy. [ laughter ] had to do all the exercises twice and stuff. Seth sam, why dont you show them how to do it. I sure will, tim. [ laughter ] seth and obviously go ahead. Like, we became fast friends pretty quick. I was like 18. I was 21 and sam was like 18. I would, like, sneak him into the bar too. I would just walk in and be like were both old guys. Were both adults, here we go then wed go and like theyd be like, you know, you get in the bar and then you just get comfortable you start to make friends with the bouncers and stuff. Then sam started going without me. Yeah. Seth yeah, yeah. Youd just like be sitting by your phone in the suburbs. [ laughter ] your beautiful princess like suburbs. I guess sams found new friends. You, in detroit worked at an outback steak house . I did. My dad opened an Outback Steakhouse just outside of detroit in southfield. Southfield outback. I worked there for you know, in high school and just like right out of high school. And my favorite thing was you know, people would eat the steaks, you know, theyd finish the meal and then the last bite, theyd be like, you know what . Let me talk to the manager, this was not good. Im like, huhuh. You ate the whole thing. That means everybody would be like nah, still not good. [ laughter ] just one more bite, uhuh. And so like, they would come to me like i would come to work sometimes and thered be like, squad cars like all over in front of outback. Id be like, oh no, whats going on . My dad they would do that, my dad would call the cops on them. Seth really . Yeah. Defrauding an innkeeper. Seth is that the law . That is the law. Seth defrauding an innkeeper. What i perceive of detroit, i dont think of many innkeepers. Oh, yeah. Theyd have like this lantern hed come out with [ laughter ] seth did they know when a defrauding whatever that is, a 491 . [ laughter ] i think my dad we got a 491 at outback steak house thats such an early crime, its like a two. [ laughter ] we got a two a two . Get on horses. Well, a one is a stolen horse. [ laughter ] whats two let me check my scroll. Seth an innkeeper is being defrauded oh, no not on my watch [ laughter ] seth you obviously guys so obviously, youve been friends, you know, teenagers, 21. Were there things from your friendship outside obviously, you were inspired by the detroit commercials you saw, are there things from your relationship woven into the show . No. [ laughter ] theyre all from scratch. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, i think on the show we play, you know, two guys who are very loving towards each other. I feel like that is true of sam and i. Were not afraid to tell each other we love each other and stuff. We put that in the show too. Yeah, we sure did. We hang out all the time. Like in an episode where tim is a real bad wingman. And thats from real life. Seth okay. [ laughter ] cause were at second city, we worked at second city together, wed perform every night together. And i was single. Tims been married since a kid. Since a child hes been married. Seth thats right. As a kid, yeah. Arranged. Seth thats a three. Thats a three, thats a three. [ laughter ] but, you know, wed go hang out. So after, you know, i was a single guy. Like after wed finish a show, id go across the street and sometimes women would come up to the table. Saw your show. And id be like, oh, awesome. Like what better advantage do you have than performing like three hours of comedy . Seth of course and tim would be like, thank you very much but im talking to my friend here [ laughter ] i only saw it as an interruption. Seth looking back, are you willing to accept that you were the worst . No. You dont interrupt people. [ laughter ] tim. Seth youre standing your ground . You dont interrupt people nothings changed. I was in the middle of a story its the same story youd told before. Seth its getting better. Im refining it i want to talk about tim you were one of my favorite writers in the time we overlapped at snl. We do this here at late night, weve only done it i think three times. Second chance theater. I would love you had a sketch about a lawyer and his roommate and the roommate was a was a crack head, yeah. Seth was a crack head, yeah. You wrote it for zach galifinakis. Pitch it real quick. Or just tell us exactly ill tell you what yeah. So i wrote it with Michael Brian and it was does anybody know what a white castle crave case is . Yeah. Its like a briefcase full of little teeny burgers. [ laughter ] but its shaped like a briefcase. Has like a little handle, comes down. Its just the only difference is it has white castle all over it and stuff. And stinks a little. So it was a lawyer and a crack head who were roommates and best friends. And it opened on the lawyer in court pleading his case and hes like, well, i have all the information to get my client off. All the evidence right here in my briefcase. And he pulls up the crave case. Hes like, oh, no. Oh, crap. I accidentally grabbed by crack head roommates white castle crave case instead of my briefcase. And then it would cut to galifinakis who was around crackheads and he says well, gentlement, that was some great crack we just did. I brought something for all of us. We can all enjoy these white castle oh, no. I grabbed my lawyers briefcase. Seth i think the world would love to see that on its feet. Because it was robbed it was robbed from the world. It was robbed. I was robbed. Yeah. Seth so next time youre back, were going to mount it . I would love that. Seth all right, great. Guys, thank you so much for being here. Congrats on the show. Sam richardson and tim robinson, everybody. Detroiters aires tuesday nights on Comedy Central. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] an unlimited data plan is only as good as the network its on. And verizon has been ranked number one for the 7th time in a row by rootmetrics. man hey, uh, whats rootmetrics . Its the nations largest independent study and it ranked verizon 1 in call, text, data, speed and reliability. woman do they get a trophy . Not that i know of. But you get unlimited done right. man 2 why dont they get a trophy . man 3 they should get something. woman 2 how about a plaque . I have to drop this. My arms getting really tired. Unlimited on verizon. 4 lines, just 45 per line. Chevy ireally. T awarded car Company Three years in a row. 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