President obama pardoned two turkeys for thanksgiving yesterday which is scary because one of those turkeys told the parole board that he would kill again. [ laughter ] according to a report from the calorie control council, the average american will eat upwards of 3,000 calories during thanksgiving dinner. Of course, the next day its back to the usual 2,900. [ laughter ] the 90th annual macys thanksgiving day parade was today. And performers included tony bennett and the muppets. Its nice to meet you, mr. Bennett, said a fan to someone that wasnt tony bennett. [ laughter ] jeweler, helzberg diamonds is running a promotion where youll get a free xbox if you spend over 1,000. Or you can spend less than 1,000 and youll just get a free ex. [ laughter ] [ audience groans ] nasa engineers are reportedly working on a fuelless engine that could theoretically take astronauts to mars in less than 70 days. In other words, less time than it took you to get home for thanksgiving. [ laughter ] apple has announced that it will be offering surprise black friday deals this year. While samsung announced surprise fire sales. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ive never been more confident that a joke is going to work. [ laughter ] than the joke im about to do right now. [ light laughter ] Justin Bieber punched a fan in the face this week in barcelona. [ light laughter ] authorities there have charged him with athault. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] sometimes sometimes you just know you got a good one. [ light laughter ] and finally, the president of south korea is facing public outrage after it was discovered that she used government money to buy over 350 viagra tablets. Her staff could face stiff penalties. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. A continuing thanksgiving tradition here on the show, my family is here. The guests tonight are hilary meyers, my mother, larry meyers, my father, and my brother, josh meyers. We will also be playing another edition of our hit game show how well do you know your meyers . So youre here on a fantastic night. Also this year the thing i am most thankful for is my beautiful wife gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. And, well im the father for a first time. And its fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] this time of year. It is fantastic to have family. And a lot of people have said, will you have your baby, ashe, on the show for thanksgiving . About the same amount of people always ask, will you have your dog, frisbee, on the show for thanksgiving . And, the reality is it is past ashes bedtime. So he cant be here. And frisbee is scared of everyone and all things. [ light laughter ] but i did not want to deny everyone our awesome baby and our awesome dog. So here is ten seconds of my baby dressed as a turkey and my dog dressed as a pilgrim. [ audience aws ] [ cheers and applause ] seth i think if you watched that, you could tell if my baby could talk, he would be saying this is great, i love this. And my dog would be saying i will murder you in your sleep. [ light laughter ] anyways, that brings me to this. I am 42 years old. Im married now. I have a baby, but nothing, nothing makes me feel older than when i dont know the new slang terms teenagers are using. And this day these days, it seems like teen slang terms are evolving so fast that it is impossible to keep up and there are some new terms that are actually, these are new teen slang terms that are actually inspired by thanksgiving. So we here at late night decided to give you a little primer on these new teen slang terms in a segment we call seth explains teen slang thanksgiving edition. [ cheers and applause ] lets start with this one. Cornucopia. This is a popular new teen slang term, lets see what it means. The array of drugs you brought with you to survive holidays with the family. [ light laughter ] here it is in a sentence, i have xanax, and weed but if grandpa starts talking trump, im gonna have to break out the vitamin k. Corncucopia. [ scattered applause ] moving on, our next thanksgiving teen slang term is touch football. Heres the definition, when you bring your Girlfriend Home for thanksgiving, but youre scared of your parents walking in so you just do over the shirt stuff. [ light laughter ] lets see it in a sentence, mom kept kicking in the door asking if we were hungry while me and melissa were inside. Luckily we were just playing some two handed touch football. [ light laughter ] moving on, our next slang term is cranberry sauced. Lets see what it is, its when your aunt gets drunk before the turkey is even out of the oven. [ laughter ] lets see it in a sentence, the whole family hadnt even arrived yet and aunt linda was already stripped down to her bra singing i will survive. cranberry sauced. Next up, some of you may have heard of a turducken which is a chicken, stuffed into a duck, stuffed into a turkey. Well this new slang term is turduncle. And its a relative who gained so much weight since last thanksgiving, it looked like they swallowed a person who swallowed another person. [ light laughter ] for example, uncle pete sat down to thanksgiving dinner looking like he ate uncle jeff and uncle dave. [ light laughter ] turduncle. Our next term is mayflower. Heres the definition, a car full of white people driving to an indian restaurant. [ laughter ] for example, hey, josh, tyler and brad, i could really crush some saag paneer right now, fire up the mayflower. [ scattered applause ] next up we have, pumpkin pious. It means the person at the dinner table who insists you say a prayer. For example, moms weird friend crystal wouldnt let anyone start eating dinner until i said grace. Somebody tell that bitch, we jewish. [ light laughter ] pumpkin pious mezuzah on the door [ laughter and applause ] our next teen slang term is, leftovers. Heres the definition, the kids from your hometown who never left. [ laughter ] for example, dont go to the diner on first street when youre home for thanksgiving, everyone there is a leftover and they want to catch up. [ light laughter ] next up, we have pardoning your turkey. What does it mean . Well its when you were planning to masturbate but then decide to not to at the last minute. Lets see it in a sentence, i locked myself in the bathroom but when i closed my eyes all i could see was my topless aunt linda singing i will survive. decided to go ahead and pardon my turkey. [ applause ] our last teen slang term is macys parade. Its when your cousins go outside and smoke weed and then float back into the house. For example, sean and patrick disappeared for, like, two hours during thanksgiving, then they hovered into the house and ate the full turkey before dinner. That was seth explains teen slang thanksgiving edition. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] hi, were the hulford quads. laughter were in 8th grade. Technology is the only thing that really entertains us. Im gonna use this picture on sketchbook, and im going to draw mustaches on you all. Using the pen instead of fingers, it just feels more comfortable for me. Be like, boop its gone. I like that only i can get into it and that it recognizes my fingerprint. Our old tablet couldnt do that. It kind of makes you feel like youre your own person, which is a rare opportunity in my family. laughter kohlso shop anytime forours the best gifts ever and earn kohls cash. Pick up a bb8 and get 20 kohls cash the fitbit blaze and get 30 kohls cash or a ps4 and get 50 kohls cash. 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And so would everyone else. Robitussin 12 hour delivers fast, powerful cough relief that lasts up to 12 hours. Robitussin 12 hour cough relief, because its never just a cough. Zero really can be a hero. Ds get zero down, zero deposit, zero due at signing, and zero first months payment on select volkswagen models. Right now at the volkswagen sign then drive event. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody, give it up to the 8g band and fred armisen on the drums. [ cheers and applause ] you know what, its thanksgiving. Lets look at that video one more time. Awws seth heres my impression of ashe getting into his turkey suit. [ light laughter ] and heres my impression of frisbee getting in her pilgrim suit. [ growling ] [ laughter ] now, if i may before we continue, theres something i have been meaning to get off my chest for a while now, and, well, you know, i usually dont air my personal opinions on the show and this one has actually gotten me in trouble in the past. But im sorry, i have to say this, thanksgiving is too close to christmas. At this point in the broadcast, seth launched into a 60 second obscenity laden tirade about thanksgiving and his opinions about its proximity to christmas. Network policy prevents us from broadcasting his comments, but due to a technical issue, we were unable to edit this portion of the show. In summay, seth believes having two turkeyeating holidays within a month of each other is totally wack. [ light laughter ] he suggested the Fitness Industry was in bed with the holiday industry, just trying to fatten people up to sell gym memberships in january. [ light laughter ] he paused to wonder who benefits most from this arrangement saying i bet santa gets all the free equinox classes he wants, which probably isnt a lot. Lets face it, dude is a chunker. [ laughter ] seth then turned his aggression towards thanksgiving food, claiming you cant spell stuffing without fu. [ light laughter ] which is accurate, however, he also claimed you cant spell oboe without boobie which is inaccurate and also irrelevant. [ light laughter ] seth then began listing things hed rather do than go shopping on black friday. A list that included fistfighting a gorilla, sticking his junk inside a nutribullet and drinking an entire bottle of window cleaner. [ laughter ] then sensing the audience didnt believe him, he lifted up a bottle of window cleaner, unscrewed the top and drank nearly all of the bottle. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers ] he quickly followed this by saying, and yes, mr. Demille, i am ready for my closeup. [ light laughter ] seth then turned to the closeup camera and smiled the worst smile you ever did see. [ laughter ] seth then complained that having to see your family twice in two months was just too exhausting, claiming theyre always up in my grill. At which point seths brother, josh, came out from backstage and said you invited us here, buttmunch. [ light laughter ] to which seth replied dont call me buttmunch, douchenozzle. [ light laughter ] to which josh replied, dont tell me what to do, fartknocker. [ light laughter ] to which seth replied, try and stop me, chodesmoker. [ light laughter ] to which josh replied, make me, turdburglar. To which seth replied, eat my farts, dillweed. To which josh replied, ooh, dillweed . Thats quite the insult coming from a dillhole. [ light laughter ] dillhole was apparently a step too far and seths feelings were so hurt that josh felt immediate guilt. [ audience aws ] realizing he had crossed the line, josh began apologizing profusely. Things seemed to calm down as they went in to hug, but then josh kneed seth in the dick. [ laughter and applause ] at this point, seths mother said, larry, we have to do something about this. To which seths father replied, im going to give my love to the winner. [ laughter ] nbc would like viewers to disregard seths opinions about thanksgiving, as they do not reflect the Networks Position and do not make any sense. We now resume our broadcast. Seth and you can take the heat and keep your turkey out of my kitchen. Woo that felt good to get off my chest. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] psh psh lunch is ready campbells spiderman soups. Made for real, real life. Thanks mom vo its the holidays at verizon, and the best deals are on the best no twrpris, you can use your data worry free and even carry over the data you dont use. And right now get four lines and 20 gigs for only 40 per line. And, just for the holidays, get the iphone 7 free. Hurry, these offers end soon. We really need to work on our hiding places. vo get the best deals and the best network, only on verizon. Be a park ranger, i got really excited. Gabes obviously really sick. 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For 100 years, america has trusted kay jewelers for the perfect holiday gift. And right now, you can save up to 30 storewide on the perfect gift. So hurry in to kay today anyone ever have occasional constipation, diarrhea, gas or bloating . She does. Help defend against those digestive issues. Take Phillips Colon Health probiotic caps daily. With three types of good bacteria. 400 likes . Wow phillips. Be good to your gut. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Our guests tonight are three of my favorite people in the world. Please welcome back to the show, my mother, my father and my brother, josh. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] seth there they are. Third year, we start letting you guys be in sketches. [ light laughter ] so i want to start by saying, were going to obviously talk about our family a lot. Everything we will say tonight is honest and truthful. And i feel like we need to say that. Because as youve pointed out in the past, there was a time where i took some liberties with our Family History. Yes, its true. In seventh grade you had to write a Family History, which all the kids said it was a big yearend project. Other kids are interviewing their grandmothers and grandfathers and so we kept saying to you, hows it coming . You say, yeah its coming, its good. Its good. Want to call grandma . Yeah, ill call. Want to look at family albums . Yeah. [ light laughter ] and so, and hilary was a teacher in the same school that he went to, so if he didnt do a good job, she was going to take hear about it. Seth yeah. And, but anyway, the night before, hows the Family History coming . Im all set. We go to bed, we wake up, we could hear the printer in the morning printing. [ light laughter ] so like really good parents, we completely forgot about it and the school year was over and hilarys cleaning out the backpack and i come home from work and she said, heres the Family History. So i start, i read the first page. At the bottom it says i cant wait to turn the page. The teacher wrote this. So we flip it, read the second page. At the bottom, it says what an interesting family. Now, the highlight of the second page was that my grandmother who emigrated from lithuania with about two kopeks to her name, according to his history, she was an olympic equestrian. [ laughter ] and, anyway, yeah its seventh grade. Its four, five pages. He comes home that night and i remember saying to you, i said, well, i read your Family History. You said, dad, i got an a, it was really good. [ light laughter ] and i said, yeah, but its not our family. [ laughter ] and he said, what were they going to do, fact check it . [ laughter ] seth i took advantage. He took advantage. Seth i took advantage of a hole in the system. Thats right. [ light laughter ] seth i should mention, by the way, you have a cocktail right there, mom. I have a cocktail here. Do you guys have your cocktails there . Yeah ill get you one, here you go. Seth theres yours. I kind of seth oh youre nervous. You dont want to have a drink yet . Im too nervous. Last year we did this in the daytime. And it was much easier for me. But now, what time is it at night . I mean ive seth well the fact that you dont know is troubling. [ laughter ] also backstage [ inaudible ] yeah, but she has asked me what time it is three times. In the last half hour. Seth i think the more problematic thing was her saying, its so much easier to have a drink in the daytime. [ laughter ] i didnt say that. Seth all right, now i want to ask her this, because i think a lot of people are at home right now might be going to High School Reunions. Thats something that happens over thanksgiving weekend. But both of you have your fifty year reunion this year. 50th high school, yes. Seth and you both went to each others High School Reunion and josh, dad called you called me from moms phone, so, at hers. Yes. So we call my mother, hurry. Its a nickname. And so my phone rings, and it says hurry. I answer, i say hurry. Because thats what you do. [ light laughter ] but it was my father, it was yarry. Hes like, hey, im at this reunion, its awful. [ light laughter ] i dont know anyone. These people are so old. Im like, theyre exactly as old as you are. [ laughter ] hes like, i dont know, man, they look old. [ light laughter ] and i was driving, i was going to a friends house to watch the College Football game and hes like, like, can you do you want to talk . I was like, well, i mean, ill talk for the rest of this drive. And hes like, ill do anything to not i dont want to go back in hes like, i can see how much i remember of green eggs and ham, like ill do anything right now. Seth there you go. Yeah. Seth now, but you, you found out about a guy you had a crush on. Yes. Seth he wasnt at the reunion, right . No i havent seen him since high school. Seth this was your high school crush. Yes. Seth and nothing ever happened with him. No, he would come to my house all the time. Seth dont sound so disappointed. [ light laughter ] so he had in high school, he had one of those 5 oclock shadows. Nobody had that. Seth uhhuh. Crazy, swarthy, big, tall, greek guy. Seth okay. Like a greek god. [ light laughter ] so, anyhow, i always he never asked me out. I thought, never, to a prom or anything. Seth uhhuh. So im at the reunion, im sitting there, and his best friend sits down next to me, he says, oh my gosh, mark was crazy in love with you. I said, no way. I said, why didnt he ever ask me out . He was too shy. Said, why wouldnt you ask him out . I said, in the sixties nobody did that. [ light laughter ] right . Seth yeah. I was a good girl. Seth yeah. So then the next night i go to my book group. [ laughter ] seth okay. [ applause ] i shudder to think what hes doing. Seth so you go to your book group. So the next night i go to my book group,and theres eight women there, my friends, and i relayed this story. Seth sure. And they said, well, do you know what he looks like . And i said no, i just have his High School Reunion picture. Seth sure. They said, you know you can google people. Seth oh, right. I said, really . Seth yeah, you had no idea. No cause i dont its in all the papers. Google. But i didnt know that you could get a picture of somebody. Seth right. So the next thing i know, they showed me the picture. Seth a current picture. Current picture. Guess who he looks like . Seth who . A dead ringer. [ laughter and applause ] a dead ringer. Seth you got a type. I do. Seth so in the end it was well, he was swarthy and greek. I dont know what happened to him. [ light laughter ] i dont have my phone on me. I dont exactly have a beard. Like, i havent shaved since last thursday. So, i dont know. Seth there you go. Well it all worked out, i think. cause, i mean, you could have ended up with him. He looks the same but then you wouldnt have poshy and i. Thats right. It all worked out perfect. Seth all right, well be right back with more late night with the meyers. [ cheers and applause ] these as well. Luke . Amy. Its been years oh, you smell the same. Meet my wife and my kids. Oh you guys are so goodlooking. And impeccably dressed. Thanks. Its all old navy. You sending off some last minute gifts . I miss us. You know . You should go to old navy. The entire store is up to 75 off right now. Amazing idea. Okay, i think ill go there. Get out of here. I dont know what that is. Im just scratching my eyes. Lines . An develop fine lines what lines . The chapstick total hydration collection. Our advanced skin care formulas instantly smooth and transform your lips. Chapstick. Put your lips first. 3,2,1. Lumiere, action you never believed in fairytales. Knights in shining armor or happily ever after. But you believed when the right one came along, youd be ready. Time to shine. Orbit. Whoa, papa run, run, run, run, running run, run, run, run, running theres nothing in this life thats ever bringing me down she said dont you ever ever, ever run, run, run, run, running whoa, papa, run okay, over here, rambo. Say fromage. Yeah no expression whatsoever. Good choice. Okay. Little sis, step on up. Hey, out of my shot, special ed. Hey be nice. Theyre just kids. They drew first blood, not me. Guess now isnt a good time to tell you im pregnant. Youre preggers . Im kidding. Im kidding. Its not really bad time to talk about how many rugrats were going to have. I used to think six, but after today, im not so sure. Seth welcome back to the late night, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] that was my brother, josh. And a clip from the Second Season of his show, red oaks on amazon prime. Check it out. Its a fantastic show. And so now were back, very exciting. One of the things thats happened this year obviously, is youre grandparents for the first time with baby ashe. And has it been as exciting as you thought it would be . Its pretty exciting. Yeah its great. Yeah. Seth we post photos every day, videos every day so you guys can keep in touch. Yes. Seth you were very excited he started crawling. Yes. Very excited. And i didnt know you could do that. Videos and pictures every day can come to people. [ light laughter ] who knew . Seth google and video in the same week, this must be a real you know, they also have watches that tell you what time it is. [ light laughter ] i just have a bracelet. You should see her expression when she opens the mailbox and sees the mail. [ light laughter ] wow. Seth how does it happen . I will say on the video front, like, im so happy that hes crawling now. There was a video last week. And he was sort of tricked with a ball and he came forward and its great. Because it was like, i love him and hes adorable, like, its undeniable, but there was to me, there was a really dark period of just when he first started eating solid food. Seth yeah. It was like 45second videos, like, he really loves this salmon and asparagus. [ light laughter ] and he was just, like, be mashing the food against his face and its like, hes so cute and hes so great. Seth so you were happy with the crawling video. Happy that thats happening. Absolutely. Yeah. It was, yeah. Because i was also waiting for something to happen at the end of those videos. [ light laughter ] that he would eventually get the food in his mouth. Yeah. Theres never a turn. Seth well look, im going to give him all these notes. [ light laughter ] please, please. Seth and i think this is actually a nice segue because the Meyers Family is obviously very honest about how they feel about things. Giving notes is something that certainly you two have never been loathe to do. Josh, theres youve been watching every episode of the show. Yeah. Seth anything you feel like ive improved upon . Well, i love you sitting at the desk to start, but when you used to come out and do the standing monologue, you would say, hows everybody doing, are we well . Is everybody well . Which is grammatically correct, but you sound pricky. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] you dont do that anymore. [ laughter ] seth well, um. [ laughter ] and now, dad, recently you got on the phone with me, and this isnt really a note for me, you have a note for some guests. Yeah, most of the guests, if you watch other talk shows, which you shouldnt really do. [ laughter ] but if you watch other talk shows, you see they cut to commercial, everybody sitting there, theyre having conversation, maybe its real, maybe its put on, but on this show every now and then, just as they get ready to go to the commercial before they do it, a guest starts to leave and it drives me crazy, like they cant wait to leave. Seth yeah. And he called me and said, you got to do something about that. [ light laughter ] and i said, well, we tell them not to do that. He said, you got to tell them again. [ light laughter ] so this is it. This is the message. Velcro, something. Seth one of the other things about having a baby that my wife is most afraid of is we, as a Meyers Family, have a vocabulary that was created when we were babies. Right. Seth so we as adults already have baby talk as part of our life. Yeah. Seth my wife is afraid we are going to teach him baby words as adults and hes going to think those are the real words. Like just some quick examples. Ill say the word and you guys can in unison say what the Meyers Family calls them. Banana. Bini. [ light laughter ] seth elephant. Hensent. Seth dinner. Dinwars. Seth yeah, yeah. And so alexi has voiced her concern about this, to you. Yeah well she like, we all you all call me posh. Seth yeah. And like alexi slipped at one point and called me posh. And that was sort of the first dipping her toe in the water. Seth she didnt want to call you posh. Not at all. Seth yeah. And she also has said to us, like, oh, dinwars is ready. And its a slip, but we just use these words so often. Seth we juse wear people down. [ light laughter ] because were not going to change. Seth yeah. No. Seth as we mentioned, our nicknames, hurry, yarry, poshy, soofie. Ashe, youve been saying ashe is a tricky name to make a nickname. Yeah, because its like your names are one syllable but you can make them longer but cant really i cant figure out what to put on ashe. Seth yeah, ashey just is not as much fun. Ashey, no, its not good. Seth but you actually, years ago came up with what you wanted to call the first grandson. Poncho. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and you want to explain that real quick . Yeah, when i was a kid, there used to be a tv show called the cisco kid. And the cisco kid was sort of the hero and his sidekick who was kind of comic relief was poncho. And so, not only do i want to call him poncho, but i dont want to be called grandpa, i want to be called cisco. [ laughter ] and if you saw the pictures earlier, hes comic relief. Lets be honest, you know. Seth yeah. Well i think the days cause obviously, well see him this weekend and when i say to ashe, heres grandma hurry and heres the cisco kid. [ light laughter ] alexis eyes roll out of her head. Yeah. Seth all right. So thats a little bit of the background of the meyers. But when we come back, well play our favorite game show, how well do you know your meyers . Right after this. [ cheers and applause ] you got it what do you think . If youre going to wish, wish big at the lexus december to remember sales event get up to 2500 customer cash on select 2016 and 2017 models for these terms. See your lexus dealer. Therthere is nothing typical about making movies. Im victoria alonso and im an executive producer. At marvel studios. We are very much handson producers. If my office. Becomes a plane or an airport the surface pros perfect. Fast and portable but also light. You dont do this 14 hours a day, 7 days a week for. Decades if you dont feel it in your heart. Listen, i know my super power is to not ever sleep. Thats it. Thats the only super power i have. Can i have a 2017 leyeah x 570. Wish big. At the lexus december to remember sales event. Get up to 2,500 customer cash on select 2016 and 2017 models for these terms. See your lexus dealer. Come on why doesnt verizon offer unlimited data like tmobile . Is it because their lte network was built six years ago . Six years ago . Thats like a hundred. In phone years. Their lte network is older, slower, and they limit you. Switch to tmobile. The newer, faster, and unlimited network. We cover 99 of the americans verizon covers. Get 4 lines, just 40 a month. Rrowl. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. Its thanksgiving, which means its a great time for families to find out how much they know about each other. And were the Meyers Family, so its time to play how well do you know your meyers . [ cheers and applause ] seth the game is simple. I will ask my family trivia questions about the Meyers Family. Now, if youve watched in the past, youll remember my beautiful assistant, cassandra. Unfortunately, shes in the hospital so we are joined by her sister, classandra. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] hi. Seth i was so sorry to hear cassandra was in the hospital. Shes not in the hospital anymore. Seth oh, thats good to hear. She died. Seth oh. [ light laughter ] classandra, is that true . [ laughter ] all right. Ill take the cards now. No, i we need them. I need that. [ laughter ] give it up for classandra, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] josh, the first question is for you. Where was the worst vacation we ever took as a family . Busch gardens . Seth classandra, show me the answer. Molasses pond. [ laughter ] that was the answer we were looking for. Why didnt i get a chance . Seth what . Why didnt i get a chance . Seth thats not how it works this year. Oh, my gosh, i already would have been 10. [ laughter ] seth all right. Which you also claim you love that you loved that trip. Seth did you like Molasses Pond . I loved Molasses Pond. Seth well then, you dont deserve a point. [ light laughter ] mom . Yes . Seth you ready for your question . Yeah, i hope i know it. Seth were going to show you a video on this tv screen. Okay. Seth mom, tell uses what this is. [ indistinct chatter ] i dont know. Its you two somewhere. But what seth lets try looking at it one more time. All right. Are you on a are you on a subway . I dont know what it [ laughter ] seth classandra, show us what it is. It was a face swap video. Oh come on videos, you know my history on videos. [ laughter ] no fair. Seth but subway was a good guess. [ light laughter ] yeah. There was also a tornado when we went to busch gardens. Seth thats true. There was a tornado. It was still better than [ bleep ] molasses pie. [ laughter ] dad, when josh and i were little, what would you call us when it was time for us to take a bath . Dirt ball one and dirt ball two. [ light laughter ] seth classandra . Thats right. [ cheers and applause ] classandra, give my dad his first point. And of course, points here in the Meyers Family are sheep dogs because weve only had sheep dogs for our entire life. And what have been the five sheep dogs names, dad . The first one was albert. Then there was albert. [ light laughter ] albert. Albert. Albert. And albert. Seth yeah, there you go. Thats right. [ applause ] all right. Moving on to round two. Josh . In high school, you ran for Student Council president. On one of your posters, you put your head on the body of a male model. The text on that poster read its a good day for the women of west when josh does what . Now, before we continue with round two, i want to remind you in round two of our game, you can ask a baze. In this case, baze is our head writer, alex baze. [ cheers and applause ] so if you need help with a question, much like phone a friend on who wants to be a billionaire, baze is here for josh. Here for you. Josh, the question is for you. In high school, you ran for Student Council president , on one of your posters you put your body on the head of a male model. The text on that poster read, its a good day for the women of west when josh does what . Im going to ask a baze. Seth all right. Baze. In high school, josh ran for Student Council president. On one of his posters he put his head on the body of a male model. The text on that poster read its a good day for the women of west when josh does what . I dont know. [ laughter ] you know why i dont know . I didnt grow up with you. And when you talk about growing up, i dont listen. [ light laughter ] you know why . Im busy writing a monologue every single night. And dont take this the wrong way, but the rest of the world doesnt breathlessly follow the exploits of the Meyers Family. [ laughter ] oh, thats cold. Youre not ill be right with you, miss. [ laughter ] youre not the house of windsor. Also, youre too close with your family and its weird. [ laughter ] you know what, next year we should do how well do you know baze . The first question is for you, seth. Where am i from . Seth what . [ laughter ] weve known each other 15 years. Where am i from . Seth the states . [ light laughter ] youre lucky your family is here, bro. [ light laughter ] seth well, that backfired. [ light laughter ] all right. Back to you, josh. High school, you ran for Student Council president. One of your posters you put your head on the body of a male model. The text on that poster read, its a good day for the women of west when josh does what . Forgets to wear clothes. Seth classandra . Forgets to wear clothes is correct. [ cheers and applause ] and we actually have a photo of that poster. [ laughter ] cant believe they didnt take it down. [ light laughter ] seth moving on, mom. The question is for you. Oh, gosh. Seth when josh and i came home from school, what was our most requested snack . All your meats and cheeses . Seth all your meats and cheeses. Classandra . Thats correct. [ cheers and applause ] wait, wait, wait. Where did you grow up, on a cruise ship . [ light laughter ] want to know was a snack was at the baze household . Some hard tack and a pack of cigarettes. [ laughter ] seth do you have anything else to add, baze . Yeah, happy thanksgiving. Im going to go write some jokes. [ cheers and applause ] seth definitely definitely the last year for ask a baze. Moving on to you, dad. [ turkey gobbling ] oh, and that sound means its time for a video question. And tonights video question comes from actor comedian extraordinaire, retta. Retta, fire away. The question is, who was hilary hitting on at the afterparty the year seth hosted the emmys . Seth dad, who was mom hitting on at the afterparty, when i hosted the emmys . I have a twopart answer to that. [ light laughter ] seth okay. The first part is idris elba. Seth okay. And the second part is, im going to miss baze. Seth oh, yeah. Im going to miss baze too. Im going to miss baze. Seth the answer is idris elba. Retta, what did you have to say . The answer, idris elba. I see you hillary and i feel you. [ laughter ] seth all right. Give another point to my father, classandra. [ cheers and applause ] all right. We go to round two, what do we got, we have two for my dad, one for josh and one for my mom. It is the final round. Classandra, how are you doing . Sad. Ne . No, because baze left. I agreed with a lot of what he said. [ light laughter ] seth okay. [ light laughter ] so you also think my family is weird . [ light laughter ] okay. Here we go. Final round. [ bells jingling ] oh, and that sound means were switching it up and its time for how well do you know your ashes . Okay. In this round the questions will be about my wifes family, the ashes. My inlaws who are not here because they are currently getting dinner ready for us. So the first question about my inlaws is for you, josh. Tonight after dinner we will watch our beloved Pittsburgh Steelers play the colts on nbc. How many members of the ashe family will join us . Zero. Seth classandra . Zero is correct. [ cheers and applause ] my wifes family thinks sports are dumb and a waste of time, and yet they are cool with karaoke. [ light laughter ] mom, the next question is for you. [ party horn plays ] and that sound means its time for another video question. This time coming directly from my fatherinlaw, tom. Take it away, tom. What band inspired me to move to new mexico . Seth what band inspired tom to move to new mexico . The grateful dead . Seth the grateful dead. Tom, give us your answer. The eagles. [ audience groans ] seth im sorry. How was i supposed to know that . Seth well, you got to listen to tom. I know its hard. [ laughter ] also, interesting fact, the eagles also inspired tom to marry a witchy woman. Im just kidding, joanne. [ laughter ] oh, man. Theres going to be a heartache tonight. [ light laughter ] dad, are you ready for your question about the ashe family. Im ready. Im ready. Seth dad, the ashe family is making thanksgiving dinner as we speak. When the ashe family prepares a meal, what is the ingredient you are least likely to find . Gluten. Seth classandra . Gluten is correct. [ cheers and applause ] and dad has a bonus question. What do you think of a thanksgiving without gluten . It sucks. [ laughter ] seth classandra . Its [ bleep ]. L and if youre watching, ashe family, id like to quote the eagles and say, take it easy. I think that means you win, dad. This has been how well do you know your meyers . Well see you next year. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. We want to thank you all for joining our family tonight, as we do this show, were so happy, and excited to do this show every year. I also want to take a minute here to thank our incredible crew that does this with us every year and every single day. Our incredible writing staff, our incredible producers. I want to thank the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] so thankful for you guys. Fred, always so thankful to have you here. And we actually, this is the first year where we taped this show on wednesday. I know youre watching on thanksgiving and you probably thought this whole time we were doing it on thanksgiving. But thats the magic of television. We knew the whole time it was wednesday. And so did the whole audience. [ laughter ] but we did want to make sure that our entire staff had a chance to go home to their families for thanksgiving which is why we changed it and taped on wednesday, and next year when they come back and say, please, please, do it on thanksgiving, well shift back. [ light laughter ] but also i want to thank my family who have been so incredible every time ive had them on the show. So a round of applause for my mother, hilary. [ cheers and applause ] give it up for my father, larry, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] give it up for my brother, josh, down on the end. [ cheers and applause ] and i also sincerely want to say im so thankful for my incredible inlaws, joanne, tom, ariel, and tolya. But mostly im thankful for my incredible wife, alexi, our dog, frisbee, and our son, ashe. And i its been such an incredible year. I owe it all to my beautiful wife, alexi. So i want to say im thankful for you, my love. And hopefully youre watching but you most often, more nights than often, you dont. [ laughter ] and, yeah, so that pretty much wraps it up. So once again, stay tuned for carson wait, no were not done. [ laughter and applause ] thats like the thing. [ applause ] thats like the thing you you should have told me. Seth no, we told you. [ light laughter ] should have told me more than once. Seth all right. And also, i want to thank retta for playing along and giving us one of the questions for how well do you know your meyers . Stay tuned for carson daly, everybody, have a happy thanksgiving. [ cheers and applause ] carson hey, folks. How are you . Welcome to last call. It is the middle of the night on nbc. Thats exactly where you are. Im carson daly. Thanks for being here. Tonight our show is awesome