be surprised to know i'm listening. i don't debate. i don't tell them i'm wrong. that pushes them further away. i did listening to potholes, the things that happened in his life that 14 years old detoured him down the path like i had been detoured at 14 years old and i started to fill the potholes in trying to build resilience and showed him compassion when he's a man who wasn't getting a lot of compassion from anybody rightfully so, he didn't deserve it for the hate that he was putting out into the world but i used that as an opportunity to pour out his soul to me. there was a broken child inside that 45-year-old body. >> what does change look like to somebody like that? if you're 45 years old, how old were you when you changed your outlook? how does that happen? we're grown developed fully baked beings and set someone not just on a course that's neutral,