How we got, here and how were heading. It was manufactured t divide our communities how many of you i want to make everybody proud but we dont take a lot of tim to make ourselves proud. And to see you, how are you are you comfortable carryin the burden absolutely i am quintessential places in the american experiments as the saying goes, everything is better in texas, includin the Aapi Community one of the biggest in th country, and its diversity i something to behold. I grew up in another gulf state, florida my korean American Family throughout my journey, iv been a lawyer, illegal analyst and now an anchor on msnbc this is the katie phang show. For my dinner with Seve Incredible Aapi women, i wante to honor those cultures. I went in search of two chef to collaborate on on spectacular meal im a chef here in houston. Born and raised in burma als known as myanmar im a trained home cook. I grew up in my grandmother kitchen. My mom, it was a vietnames refugee, cooked a lot of great home cooked meals. It was not until she passe away when i was a teenager tha i started feeling nostalgic fo her food i decided that i wanted to teach myself a lot of th dishes that i grew up eating for the first course, i wil be making a noodle dish, a coconut noodle soup. It will have seared scallops boiled eggs, crispy noodles, and all of the beautiful garnishes on top its actually m grandmothers recipe my grandmother is my greates idol she always says the cookin with love is never overrated for tonights dinner, im goin to be doing vietnamese fis dish, is this to you satisfaction it is marinated with some yogurt, shrimp paste, turmeric and deal its a tribute to my father, because a lot of the goo cooking than i do was an homag to my mom, but i actually lost my dad last year he told me that this is one of his favorite dishes. Its been my mission to Pu Burmese Food on the map, something that my grandmothe will be proud of my dad is a man of few words i think that he would sa quietly that he is proud of me i asked several incredible women to join us i am the author of the best selling memoir, a life of many worlds, producer, public servant, activist, and mothe to 11yearold jordan, the lov of my life its great to meet you. Im a writer, and the autho of free food for millionaires. I am julia cho, a proud korean american, and writer fo cedar, television, and film. Most recently, turning red im amanda when, and in 2019, it was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Im a stop asian hate activist im an chow, and im Business Executive lead director on the board, an former ceo of im a fashion designer, entrepreneur, and my main goal in life is to help women divin their own beauty possibly in the new queen o comedy, and here to disappoint my mom welcome, everyone its so good to have you al hear, cheers to all of you look how beautiful the table, is right i want to welcome all of yo to the culture of aapi women tonight, i welcome you to shed your cultural inhibitions, which we were raised to embrac and think of really as part of our dna, and you have conversation about the important things, the things that matter to us, because not only are we going to b surprised about how common these things are amongst thi table, but the people that are going to be tuning in an listening, they will say, do you know what . Ive had that experience the first question for the table is this. To prepare for tonight, it was very easy to go on the interne and google each and every on of you some of you have impeccabl kept wikipedia pages, and applaud you for that what about you is not commonly known on the internet . I dont have a husband. Its a big thing on Google People Type in my husband al the time do you think is because the think you need to husband . I think so. I think its my mom. And, what about you was not out there are the failures, whats not out there are the stumbles, whats not out there are the doubts, an the fact that i believe that s many of leadership is actually leading with vulnerability and empathy. That doesnt come through, i dont think in what succes looks like especially in the corporat world. Dig in, by the way. Dig in part of what we talked abou is this idea that there is a very curated forward facin public consumption of who we are. Ill speak for myself, i gre up where it was not okay to le all of it hang out it was not okay to let the world see it do you guys feel like there is this pressure, even now in the 21st century, where we fin ourselves, and i guess i wil ask you, because you are 31, right . God bless you for being 31 but do you still feel like a 31, you have grown up in a different generation that we have do you still feel like there i pressure being Asian American, and especially female, to kind of still have this identit that has been crafted very carefully, to be a certain way absolutely. When we talk about culture when we talk about children of immigrants, there is this idea if i dont recognize the sacrifices that my parents hav gone through, then my worthy for so long, i really struggle with that, and especially with the activism im a rape survivor, that what i talk about, from my own experiences. This was before me too when i told my parents that i going to tell my story about something that is very taboo they did not take that well. Eventually, they saw that this is my truth, this is m authentic truth, and i have to do it for me did you struggle . Was it hard for you to tel your parents that you had been raped . It was not my consent, th hospital had accidentall called them and told them. When they called me, they said that the hospital told us that you had been admitted for rape kit oh, my gosh my father asked me, were yo drinking what were you wearing . That was his first question were you drinking and wha were you wearing is what h asked you . Yes and it hurts so bad. At that moment, it took an immense amount of grace for me to understand thats this is somebody who grew up in different world. I know that he loves me. Do you think that it took the outpouring of public support for you, speaking your truth, and having that voice t validate you, to almost justif your parents supporting you in the end . Yes, no doubt at least, i will speak from my own experiences, this kind o face that you have to put on the honor of your family, what does that mean let me tell, you having a daughter that has been raved and talking about it everywher did not contribute to that formula. A Nobel Peace Prize nomination really did it. This concept of honor is no exclusive to the aap communities, but i feel like i is so ingrained in our dna sometimes trumps love in an asian family thats really, really hard what do you think . I keep thinking about this, its really important. Ive been obsessed with milos hierarchy of needs, and its actually the study of Huma Motivation the very bottoms survival, an right about that is safety right in the middle is love. Right above that is a stink, and above that is Self Actualization. Immigrants, and especially wit economic reasons, they have to try and survive. If they do a great job, thei kids are focused on love esteem, and Self Actualization when you talk about honor, where does honor fit in . It is sort of right around steam. Honor is actually supplanted something. And away, when you say honor beats love, in the maslow hierarchy of needs, it literally is above love. Im a lot smarter than thought i was. We were talking about honor and as an immigrant, pakistani muslim woman, honor is at th forefront, and it comes abov everything as a woman, as a muslim woman, it comes above everything. It was such a big deal tha when i moved here, my uncles called my parents up before moved here, and they were like dont let her go to america. My parents were like, why . He said, they are going to dishonor you and he goes t america. That was an actual conversation, and thank god for my parents thank god for their strength they were like, no, this is ou kid. We want to give her the same opportunities that we gave t our sons my brothers did not have tha pressure, but i did. I had to keep the honor of the family and by honor, were talking about virginity. Thats exactly what were talking about. And lets talk about Th Commodification of your sexual ad thats exactly what were talking about. It has to be blessed by you parents, and you can give it away to the person that means marriage, you hav to be married off. The moment i turned 18, i wa out. The moment i left, it was, lik you had dishonored the family. You left, you decided th family i was like, lets just dishono it onstage, and let me do it i style. Did you have a simila experiments, or not . You are born in the United States, and then you moved t saudi arabia i was actually one of the things that i live in this country until university, i wa born in michigan, and i move to saudi arabia when i was too in part because my parents, an mona and i had this very similar connection, i had an india father, pakistani mother that partition that Split Th Result of basicall colonialism. My grandmother grew up in india, at a time where to this point, it was about shame to me, shame is a word that ha really kind of carried through my life since a little girl an throughout my adulthood. Im familiar with a lot of public shame, private shame. A lot of public shame. I carried that badge, and dont shirk away from it i remember when i was a little girl, i would run around, i be on the swings, and i woul hear, one of the aunties say shame, shame shame, shame was just showin your leg so you did have the sense o needing to be proper, needin to be a certain way. But i feel like we have little bit of Inexperience O Parents that were academics, that really felt like as lon as we nurtured your mind Everything Else was going to B Fine My Dad was always a huge clansmen people always like plants, and the plant is only as good as its roots. If you take care of the routes you can take care of tha anywhere, it would be okay its so important, this concept of him talking about your roots, but isnt it justice Pressure Generationall that the roots have to be take in a way that needs to b nearer through each generation even as youre saying, Th Importance of routes, i wa thinking about how it is s difficult being an immigrant because your roots got severed when i think about how i would grow up, the people who knew the genealogy, i was like, min was cut off by integration, an then also by war i think there is a kind of sense of, what kind of tree is out there that doesnt hav deep roots, but is still strong . That you can still stand, yo can still grow the other thing about th threat of this pressure, there was a time in history where if you got the best mark on the exam, you survived it was literally survival to b smart, to do well in school. Now i am a mom, and talkin generationally, is talking about breaking those patterns. Whether youre teaching people whom entering women, or raisin them how do you make sure that this thing that we were given, it stops with us . Chloe, you are saying, yo are one of eight girls number six. I think my mom for coming here a, girls mom and, dad and so she had had a lot of jobs, kfc and so her goal was just to go to school. Did you feel more freak, as you werent getting pressure t come home with Straight Days and typically, we are pretty poor, we ha support, that was never he goal i think thats the only thin that they know, that i successful, and they dont realize that you can be an artist and be successful by all substandards in metrics, youve been a trail blazer is that always something you wanted to do it was not at all my parents immigrated from taiwan in the 60s. From my parents, that same tenant of education wa everything i grew up in a classic eights average, b is bad, c i catastrophic, ds disowned, bu the underlying thing that we talked about if you get educated, it something that Nobody Will B able to take away from you for me, all i wanted to do growing up was make them proud what i think unifies us, and asian women in general, is tha we dont want anybody to b ashamed of us. We dont want to be ashamed of ourselves, and we want to make everybody proud. We carry the weight of eac other. We dont take enough time to make ourselves proud all of us belong to thi bizarre we need more diversity. You smell like curry, curry is delicious im not even korean, i actually chinese did you go home and say, mom, dad, this is really, of what happened one dose of ubrelvy quickly stops migraine in its tracks within 2 hours. Do not take with strong cyp3a4 inhibitors. Most common side effects were nausea and tiredness. Ask about ubrelvy, the anytime, anywhere migraine medicine. You could manufacture a whole new way of manufacturing. Ask about ubrelvy, disrupt Buying Habits before they disrupt your business. And fuel the search for what comes next. So. What are you waiting for . Hey, man. You could save hundreds for safe driving with Liberty Mutual. They customize your Car Insurance. So you only pay for what you need whoo we gotta go again. Only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. We really dont want people to think of feeding food like ours is spoiling their dogs. 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I remember when i was growing up, i grew up in florida, so i was tan, i would put son in my hair, but when i went to college, the other korean American Girls were beautiful white alabaster skin straight jet black hair, and i not only did not look like them, but i didnt feel like i fit in part of that was because the were very comfortable in their korean skin, and i was not i didnt speak the language, i didnt need the food, because had been raised in a home wher it was almost pushed that bein super assimilated an integrated as an America Matthew eight burger king, w had hamburgers before you ha kimchi there is also pressure when i was growing up to look a certain way. There is the pressure to go to korea, and to have eyeli surgery done two Have Cartilag put into my nose so that i would have a bridge, so they wouldnt have a flat nose, and i would have more americanize. Did anybody have that pressure growing up to loo more american, or to sound mor american anything like that oh, my god, yes i would get bullied in school, kids would pick on me, they sa you smell like, korean, like terry is delicious you should try it sometime you still have to blend in, he still have to be american, and still be western make sure your accent doesn come out, its like, where do belong you go to pakistan, you don belong in pakistan you come to america, you get pointed out as an immigrant. Where do i belong . One of the things that wanted to say as a macro idea, all of this belong to this bizarre content that is fake called asian america its got so many kinds o people, totally differen histories, and totally different generations. When i went to yale, Havin Grown Up in queens, new york, met white people i was, like i didnt even know what a white person was, because everybody was italian, jewish, polish, there was just something, because they weren just this idea of whiteness. I didnt really understand White Supremacy until i went t yale, because everybody had an ethnicity, and an immigran history, which includes ne york to her point about how this is a buzzword to say Asian American, or asia america, but when you say, im from pakistan, or im pakistani and indian, d you think that peopl necessarily think that is th right kind of diversity, or th right kind of minority in term of how we referred to th bigger diaspora of Asian American when i was applying t universities in the United States, i did find i interesting that all of th applications, there was no box for me there is no box that said sout asian, which is how identified myself. Somebody said, whats your ethnicity . I remember going to my dad and saying, what are we . I remembered when i worked for hillary clinton, when she ra for president in 2008, our Campaign Manager when they wer having a conversation, she says, you know, we need more diversity on the plane i look around, and im like, im the traveling Chief Of Staff on this president ial campaign for the first woman president , and without batting an eyelash, not even hesitating, she said, you dont count. Wow but she was right i did not count, because i 2008, the right Kind O Diversity was not Asia American diversity, because al of our communities, and i sa that about everybody at this table, were not voting in large enough numbers to be abl to make a difference in an state. Thats why for me, to find thi incredible amount of pride i 2020, how south Asian American communities, east Asia American communities, arab american communities, actually voted in large enough numbers, and in certain states carried. Georgia george is a perfect example. So my mom always had this concept that being in american meant but being able to fight. Thats what america is pure white. That was the thinking. When i became a citizen, i was like, mom, you have to vote. She said, my vote doesnt count. Who told you that . Your u. S. Citizen, of course your vote counts for the longest time, older people felt that their voice did not count, even though the u. S. Citizens, so they dont count. Are we being heard . When senator warnock had a runoff, i dropped everything i dropped absolutely everything, and i went to georgia, i sai if i can get 500 korea americans to come and vote right . I can make a difference. This idea that whiteness equal america, its a construction we can actively dismantle that with our presence, and also ou speech that is something thats important to say, because no everybody in our Community Wants to talk. I would rather not talk, im perfectly happy just to admire people we are thrilled that youre talking. What a minority meant was manufactured to divide our communities. When it happened, it wa 4000 years of culture down the drain. Are you comfortable carryin the burden of the words icon absolutely, because i am vo businesses nationwide are switching to Verizon Business internet. woman its a perfect fit for my small business. vo verizon has Business Internet solutions nationwide. man for our notsosmall business too. vo get internet that keeps your business ready for anything. From verizon. Liberty mutual customizes your Car Insurance so you only pay for what you need. With the money we saved, we tried electric unicycles. I think ive got it doggypaddle only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Need relief for tired, achy feet . Or the energy to keep working . Theres a dr. Scholls for that. Dr. Scholls Massaging Gel Insoles have patented gel waves that absorb shock to hardworking muscles and joints, for allday energy. 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Ask your gastroenterologist how you can take control of your crohns with skyrizi. Control is everything to me. Learn how abbvie could help you save. vo businesses nationwide are switching to Verizon Business internet. woman its a perfect fit for my small business. vo verizon has Business Internet solutions nationwide. man for our notsosmall business too. vo get internet that keeps your business ready for anything. From verizon. Hollywood hasnt always gotten Asian Representatio right. How we see ourselves, and how others see us, and onstage can change lives s have been writin those wrongs for years the multi comedy icon. Ive a friend whos eve more asian and a dog mom so nice to see you, how are you . Im great we are joined now is that me . Wow, look at this one, margaret look at you it looks like its from the 70s, but its really about ten year old. This is the green room, thats where a lot of communities hav signed the wall. Are you ready to be a bit o a delinquent ive got a sharpie for you. This is history in th making i got stage fright. Did you feel any pressure growing up to speak korean between food hang out with korean kids . Date koreans my generation wasnt allowe to speak korean because ou parents really wanted American Kids now ive got a real desire t speak more fluently than i do. I speak pretty well, but i wan to understand more ive always gated koreans, o probably dated more korean women than men, which is not necessarily the favorite thing how about now, though theyre supportive, if stuck with one, but the Idea O Sexuality To Them Doesn exist. Were both of your parent born in north korea . We also have relatives in north korea. They were separated in 1960 or whatever courtesy of the 38t parallel the idea of this very mysterious, ominou dictatorshipstil underneath, and theyre quit terrifying were you born in the United States or korea . I was born in the unite states, but ive a north korea korean in. My korean name is a very popular north korean name. Did your parents give you margaret we had agreed on maggie, an then at some point in school it was really hard to be your parents, they owned an operated a gay bookstore conservative koreans, not bore in the United States, owning a operating a gay bookstore, tha is a mindblowing concept. They give us a lot of experience in the Quee Community to grow up everybody that raised me was gay. The best part of it wa politics, because it was all people there were earl supporters, who were ver active in Local San Francisc politics where your parents active i those kinds of politics . My parents have never voted to date, they havent to date, they have not. They still dont believe tha this is their country. Do you think your parents have a fear that theyre going to lose the connection to kore if they were to become mor integrated into politics her in the United States yes, but i also just thin its generalized anxiety aroun what happens when we wer involved in politics its a very Chaotic Politica Landscape in korea the korea that they left behind tragically, and sadly, ther has been so muchanti aapi hate youve really picked up th banner, taking on the awarenes that is out there. But personally, i find that if its up in the news cycle, tha we talk about it i use that as the classi example, horrific, if i were t ask Somebody Nobody would know what is goin on with those cases, wha happened to him. Its a matter of outrag fatigue, how can we fit thes into those narratives that served a larger purpose . Like with the monterey par shootings, which were just horrible, but they wer committed by another asian person that pulled out this thing of, well, if its not a hate crime is it newsworthy it takes a lot of mental gymnastics to understand why w are not as outraged when thi happens, within our ow community, but also is a hug problem. Its a cultural appropriatio of white hatred. You dedicated a huge season of your podcast, focusing on tracing back the historica implications of anti asian violence you said something that really stuck with me, you said im foreigner because im born in america, im also a foreigner im always a foreigner its an existential question where do you belong . Maybe on the, margins there is a kind of safety numbers, so many people feel that. Do you think it feels that, this idea of, because we dont belong in korea, we dont feel like we belong here, that we want to belong, and so we will just kind of keep quiet an allow the oppression to happen we will tell you who you are, with a backhanded compliment itll keep you there, its a wedge against you uniting with other people i remember being completely obsessed with your tv show, al American Girl. Margaret, do you know why i encourage your brother t become a cardiologist . No. Because i knew that someday you would give me a hear attack, what are you wearing it was so novel to see at 8 pm prime time on abc, a show about an asian family. Then i read, you had zer Creative Control over that would you have demande Creative Control if youre abl to do the show again i wouldve loved to hav Creative Control i just didnt know to empowe myself to do that. Was it grounded in bein young . Was a female was it asian was it all of that it was being Asian American and there were no Asia Americans. Who are the allies for yo back then . I didnt have anybody also, gay, also not sure what was doing, also female, not lot of women in comedy at th time i noticed at the time tha on the show, your family is korean family on the show. The actors were not all korean im not even korean im actually chinese you did a dna thing, right . I was on the finding th roots thing, and theyre actually, youre 100 chinese. Did you go home and say mom dad, what happened they said, no are you comfortable caring, carrying the burden of i country blazer has an Asia American are you comfortable . Absolutely, because i am its really true i think thats my greatest achievement, because i inspire a entire generation of Asian Americans to pursue thei dreams to massive success, not just Asian Americans, but a lo of queer people, a lot o different people that look t me as their inspiration. You, in large part, hav given us to safety, and spac to say, you can be different you can act different, you hav helped us feel more comfortabl in who i am, i appreciate yo very much. Thank you very much being asian is a liabilit when it comes to physica safety the stereotype that asian are quiet. How many of you dated white guys [ cat purrs ] [ Phone Vibrates ] introducing astepro allergy. Steroidfree Allergy Relief that starts working in 30 minutes, while other Allergy Sprays take hours. Now with astepro fast Allergy Relief, [ spray, spray ] you can astepro and go. Staaaaacccceeeyyy im the sizzle in this promposal. And tonight, sparks are gonna fly. Kyle . And while romeo over here is trying to look cool, things are about to heat up. Uhoh. Darn it, kyle and if you dont have the right Home Insurance coverage, you could end up paying for this yourself. Sorry mr. Sanchez get allstate, and be better protected from mayhem, like me. Thats a hard no. vo businesses nationwide are switching to Verizon Business internet. woman its a perfect fit for my small business. vo verizon has Business Internet solutions nationwide. man for our notsosmall business too. vo get internet that keeps your business ready for anything. From verizon. Need relief for tired, achy feet . Or the energy to keep working . Theres a dr. Scholls for that. Dr. Scholls Massaging Gel Insoles have patented gel waves that absorb shock to hardworking muscles and joints, for allday energy. You could see nothing here. To hardworking muscles anor here. , or you could see, everything that could be. Go. Baker tilly. This is an asian woma cooking, its chicken wings, weve got the way on world o our backs. You really get to know culture through the things tha we ate growing up, a culture where i love, use thankyous, im sorry, are very sacred it serves as a Love Language for us this whole language of food is really what spoke to me, and brings people from all different walks of lif together you want to talk about bein super hyper visible . Its become painfully violentl in our face, that being asia is a liability when it comes t physical safety. Its literally being the victi of senseless crimes because yo have a look, you have slan eyes, you are all of these words that are hurtful and harmful, and it used to be jus words. Now the words have bee translated into physical harm. Do you think this antiaapi, the attempts to combat it ha gotten any better . Talking about it is the first step i turn on my camera, commented on asian hate, and it went viral. We matter, and its killing us im asking everybody that sees this, share this anderson cooper, Rachel Maddow cover our stories. Cover this mans story our community is being attacked, and were dying to be heard i also want to acknowledg the feelings that your mothe has when she felt invisible. That was actually constructe by institutional forces. By propaganda. It was manufactured to divid our communities, and in term of the movement in general, feel that what i saw was thi outburst of recognition that our stories really do matter the perhaps in this Mode Minority myth, where we ever going to win a game that was designed for us to lose . Is it because of the model minority myth, and because w have become so assimilated integrated into the whit culture of america, that it only a critical situation, a Tipping Point when people ar murdered or in this shooting for example, in atlanta, when an 18 year ol girl on a bus is stabbed repeatedly in the head by woman who said, i want one les chinese person in this country shes not even chinese or shoved off of the Subwa Platform is it only becoming critical i the status, when this happens, because i have to be hones with, you i dont see th continuing dialogue after that happens. There is outrage, people are talking about stop aapi hate and then it just goes away im a very strong opinion about this i actually dont believe in th stereotype that asian women ar quiet. My grandma wasnt quiet, she was a freedom fighter, she fought against the Frenc Colonists in vietnam i think that the reason wh during the pandemic, we turned to social media. Instead of gatekeepers mainstream media, hollywood, the education system, ou government, and the reason why we are seeing more and more of it is because there is thi outpouring on social media there were Aapi Celebritie that rose up to the occasion and spoke up julia, turning red was very important movie, put ou by pixar to have as a main character, a Asian American girl, i wear what i want to, sa what i want, 24 7, three 65. Do you think that that was way for you, as a korean american, to say, im going to create and develop these characters, and im going to put that out there because i want there to be in america fo american consumption, and asia American Girl who is going t be the main character of thi movie . In doing that prague project, absolutely it is about representation, it was about having a young Asian American at the forefront. And somebody who is really messy, and kind of dorky, an not just what you woul normally expect. I do think that probably, what it meant to me was that it was for this generation and into the future working on that movie, it wa very healing being able to tell that story, it just fulfilled me in a wa that i didnt even know that i needed im going to take a poll of the table, by a raise of hands how many of you dated whit guys [laughter how many of you have marrie white guys race traitor. Totally you just said something ver interesting, what did you say . Race traitor. Race trader really its very commonly said, by the way. I dont need to be so edgy, bu it is in fact its historically for lik 50 years in many ways, my mother t this day will look back and say, man, she messed up, because sh had us assimilate too much i we married a white person. Both my brother and i ar married to caucasian people. When love happened, it was 400 years of culture down th drain. Beautiful this is so pretty i want to take a photo. This is so cute is that plastic [laughter] taking One For The Team right now. This is unbelievable. Chloe, you kind of sounde shocked. You are one of eight girls, is there a pressure on you an your sisters to date a certain way, or anything like that i kept my Dating Life S Secret from my parents you didnt tell your parent who you are dating no, i was living in new yor for eight years. When i came home, i neve talked about it. I never dated in High School College i dated one or two vietnamese guys, but that pretty much it when i moved back to open my business, i was just working i my 30s, and so my mom, when bring someone home, it will be fine can i say, its funny because for my generation, i feel like the expectation wa that i would date and marry white guy. I grew up in arizona, and so thats pretty much all i was around my parents oddly did not see to care either way in, fact if anything, i thin that my mom might have leane more towards assuming outdate white guy. There were things about status even just feeling like i might have an easier path if i married that guy i feel like its been a gift for me to find him, because we go into the kitchen, and w have conversations, and we break it down. I want to add this thin about marrying up, for pakistanis my brothers were encouraged to marry outside of the race. I was not. I had to marry a good, musli pakistani man. Did you ask why you werent allowed to as questions. Its very clear why its very clear im a woman, i have to have, honorary the tradition, an also in our tradition, its th patriarchal child taking the fate of the father and so in muslim communities i particular, south asian, i didnt matter, a man could marry whoever he wanted. The woman, she had to marry muslim in, that was the way to keep it going. And guess what . Both my brothers married no pakistani, nonmuslim women. Wow are we ever going to be american are we going to stay korean . 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I had to ask this questio of the your father used to encourag you to drink milk, why so, in south asia communities, being fair skinne is a very big deal so, we also have this Craz Belief System in south asia. Definitely in pakistan if you drink milk it makes you skin white im lactose intolerant, yo guys you dont understand i been sitting at the breakfas table, my mom looked she has to drink the milk. If she doesnt drink the milk, no ones going to marry her. Shes so dark. Its your story its not limited to jus this culture if you look at the standard of beauty, especially this curr and brady, for example its all very vietnamese to its whites. The skin has to be way its like an alabaster white i remember when i was growing, up if you had dark skin it meant that you worked outsid in the rice patties. If you are white and fai skinned, and met you are a elevated status. And we have to thank our chefs thank you the male tonight was spectacular. Thank you so much. Its our Honor Asian Food is all about gathering together at th table. The chefs are very honored i hope it fostered really good conversation a good time in a Goo Experience with the food and drinks you put our names on. It was truly spectacular. Thank you so much. I had the pleasure of comin here tonight to join you a this table im going to go back to My Little Girl whose eight year old. When im going to take back to her or call it a Pearl O Wisdom whats the best way of looking at the future for aapi women i always say to young women i certainly say this to my son not be afraid of doing the thing that scares you the most it might actually be worth it. Especially for young girls its okay to not be okay i want, you julia i was thinking abou something my son said. When i was driving him t school in day, he was five a the time he just asked me for the backseat, like, mom are we eve going to be american someday are we going to stay korean . I think what i would take away from this conversation is just met all these women who are Working Toward Tha Complete Belief that of course you are. Just because i. And it resonates it impacts people in a way tha you dont realize. It changes people giving the respect. Dont be afraid to be you own person your parents dreams are no your dreams. Dont be afraid to stand u even if its against you parents. Im going to carry that a little bit shes a. Show her this at 17 when i would say is we ar each given we won live your life is your life the persons view of success thats most important is yours your lifes journey is reall about more than just survival. Its about what it means for you to thrive. Amanda, My Little Girl want to be an astronaut or th president of the United States maybe she wants to be amanda i think she probably woul be inclined to agree with va that she would be i dont have kids if i were to tell my fiveyearold self a message i would say you are enough you are beautiful. For my tenyearold self, would say that you dont nee for the entire journey, just for the next step. For the next step. For my 20yearold self, where the survivor self, i would say that joy is the most radical form bring us home i always tell young people, what would happen if you are a friend to yourself when youre Feeling Table and ashamed, when you feel disgraced and humiliated o angry or rejected or excluded. When you dont feel like you belong, well, is it possible that you could be your bes friend all of a sudden, its possible he might have a shot. If this is the future for m girl, its a really good future ive used this phrase. You are all icons an trailblazers you are all still forging ahead. You are all making a difference and i would like to say than you for joining me tonight a post this Incredible Locatio and houston. I had a little gift its very dear to my heart i made this representing the diversity. This when eight different ethnicities. This has got to be