been living someplace all, she would've died. i'm sure of that. >> so then you start going back in your head, replaying all the times he brought you food, made you food. was there an instance that stands out in your mind? >> he had made a breakfast sandwich and taken into the bedroom for me, and my son climbed up and wanted a piece. and immediately, his reaction is, no, don't give him any of it. i think about that all the time. >> the moment that could've easily gone a different way. it haunts her. >> emotionally, how are you doing? >> it's rough. it's still hard to stop and think about what happened. the amount of deception, i can't really trust people. what have discovered is trusting myself is difficult to do. >> before they were married,