so i really didn't know, what's critical man. probably not gonna make. it and the nurse it immediately, her face, she looked at me -- i knew. >> but it was weird, said carol. when she saw rory lying there, unconscious. >> and he actually looks perfect. i was very shocked. except for the pleat, that the police over his head where the bullet went in. i just remember him looking like he was asleep. >> that's probably an image you can't get out of your head. >> every day i think of that. i think of that every single day. >> rory's father, carole's ex husband dave maguire, came to trial, not successfully, to hold back his soaring rage, a soldier did this? >> i put myself in that same scenario. and if i needed to, i would defend myself. but, once it's over it's my