find people more virtuous than you, who have qualities that you wish you had, and who admire them openly. that turns into virtue, and that will bring happiness. >> why do new year's resolutions? phil >> they fail, because we realize they were the wrong resolutions, and they cost it not -- we think about things that really improve our lives. >> hold on, it's fair to say that if i was in better shape, if i had more money, if i had a better job, those are not bad ideas. >> if i lost 20 pounds, i'll be happier. you probably won't be happier. you'll be healthier for sure. but when you get there, to find a are not as happy as he thought you. we're weight loss is a perfect example of this. they get all the pressure that comes from seeing the skill validated day today. you know what your reward is