and i wrote a book about that experience. about searching for my birth family. i was a bit shocked by the way that my grief for them and their illness and in their deaths just brought up a lot of feelings relating to that original adoption loss, it wasn't something unexpected. i use that term, an adopted, it was the depths of my grief. today, out probably not use the term. at the time, it was emotionally honest expression of how i felt. the feeling of an rootedness, given the fact that i had been adopted into was essentially gone. >> that is something that'll be a lot of people can identify. with part of what so resident about this, book it's a study of class, and wealth inequality, as much as it is about grief. you're right, it is still hard for me not to think of my father's death as a kind of negligent homicide.