Ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey good to see ya cheers and applause have a seat thank you so much oh ladies and gentlemen, welcome cheering welcome to the late show. Welcome to the late show. Im la la land im sorry, i read that wrong. Im Stephen Colbert. laughter dear lordie. Did you guys see that last night . Did you watch that . cheers and applause did you see that last night . That was the craziest ending to the oscars since it turned out helen mirren was kaiser soze. laughter now, for those of you out there who only watched the first three hours and 29 minutes of the ceremony, spoiler alert moonlight won best picture. Okay . cheers and applause beautiful, right . End of the show. Jon thats right. Stephen beautiful. But heres how Warren Beatty and faye dunaway announced the category. And the academy award. For best picture. Youre impossible. Come on la la land. cheers and applause audience reacts stephenthmfortable to watch u know whats coming. Its like watching titanic, except titanic actually won best picture. cheers and applause i feel so bad, i feel so bad piano riff , i feel bad for everybody in la la land. And the poor moonlight people. I mean, it shoulveor african americans, but theres always a catch, you know . laughter heres your oscar, but some white folks get to touch it first. laughter and groans come on, you know you want it. cheers and applause no . Ill just dropped it . Okay. laughter to make matters worse, while they were up on stage, ryan gosling explained jazz to them. laughter did you see that, did you see that movie . See that la la land movie . Jon yeah, i saw it. I saw it. Stephen do you understand jazz now . Jon i get it now. Stephen you get it now. Okay. laughter now it wasnt Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaways fault. The accountants in the wings gave them an envelope showing the winner of the previous category best actress, emma stone for la la land. You had one job, Price Waterhouse coopers one job cheers and applause thank god one thats it thats all they had to do jon yeah. Stephen thank god they dont run an s. T. D. Clinic. laughter all right, mr. Johnson. Got your lab results here, youre all clean, sir. Have a nice day. No, im sorry emma stone is clean, you have chlamydia. laughter legally, i can say Emile Ouamouno is all clean. I can legally say that. Speaking of heartbreaking mistakes, donald trump. cheers and applause the president cheers and applause right . Jon yeah, i think thats about right. Stephen donald trump will address a joint session of Congress Tomorrow night, and well be doing a live show afterwards, because live shows are the only thing that slow down my drinking. Now laughter that joke is based on a true story; that joke is based on a true story. laughter now, we dont exactly know what the president is going to say, but the word is, he will finally reveal his plan to replace obamacare, which he teased this morning. Were going to repeal and replace obamacare. And we have come up with a solution thats really, really i think, very good. laughter now, i have to tell you, its an unbelievably complex subject. Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated. audience reacts laughter stephen some people knew. A few people knew. laughter and applause one or two. cheers and applause i could think of one. I could, i could think of one guy tall, big smile, used to sit in your chair. laughter its just that you didnt know. Okay, thats like if i performed open heart surgery tomorrow and said, wow, nobody said it would be so wet in here laughter now, to warm up for tomorrow night, trump also gave a big speech on friday at cpac, the conservative Political Action conference, and went after anonymous leaks. Im against the people that make up stories and make up sources. They shouldnt be allowed to use sources unless they use somebodys name. Let their name be put out there. Let their name be put out. A source says that donald trump is a horrible, horrible human being. Let them say it to my face. Stephen sir . cheers and applause audience chants stephen cheers and applause it would be it would be my honor to say it to your face. Just walk a little closer to your tv screen, please . Just a little closer to your tv screen and let me just get right up here and go, you, donald trump, are a horrible, horrible human being. All right, then. cheers and applause piano riff come closer. Come closer. Oh, there you are. cheers and applause cheers and applause well clean this later. laughter meanwhile, White House Press secretary and bleached minion, sean spicer, launched his own war against leakers by holding random phone checks of white house staffers. Hes got to do something. He knows for a fact, theres one guy in the white house who keeps sending out unhinged tweets at 3 00 a. M. Its nuts. Hes got to find him. applause so, with all this going on, it is no surprise that on saturday, trump tweeted, i will not be attending the White House Correspondents Association dinner this year. Please wish everyone well and have a great evening thats disappointing. Its disappointing, ive got to say, thats disappointing, but its not his fault. That night, hes already scheduled to be at the kremlin Correspondents Dinner. laughter applause hes doublebooked. Hes doublebooked. Nothing he can do. Darn it poor planning. But trump spokesperson and 35yearold who still hangs around the sorority house, sarah huckabee, offered up a convincing analogy to explain why trump would skip the event. I think its kind of naive of us to think that we can all walk into a room for a couple of hours and pretend that some of that tension isnt there. You know, one of the things we say in the south, if a girl scout egged your house, would you buy cookies from her . laughter stephen yeah. Though, im from the south, and that is definitely an expression we use all the time. laughter jon right, right. Stephen down south, the girl scouts are horrible, horrible people. They will murder you. But i do love the thin mints. laughter its too bad trumps not going to go because, im sure he would have given a hilarious speech. I mean, can you imagine . Well, you dont have to. Jim . And now, delivering his 2017 white house Correspondents Dinner address, please welcome to the podium, President Donald Trump single clap shh thank you, thank you. Great crowd. If you like enemies of the American People rim shot nothing, huh . Okay. Hey, any latinos in the audience tonight . Well, give it a minute, youre being arrested. Ice, ice, baby heh, heh. You know, because i like getting rid of latinos. You suck i dont suck you know what that is . Thats knock, knock. Whos there . Fake. Fake who . Fake news this guy knows what im talking about. laughs look hes not wearing any pants laughter okay, its happening again nooo its okay, donny. Its just a dream. Youre not even going to the white house Correspondents Dinner this year. They cant hurt you here. Hey, look he wet the bed huh . What . Noooooo laughter and applause stephen we have a great show for your tonight Connie Britton is here. But first, ill be over there talking fake news with an old friend. cheers and applause so tasty. An unlimited data plan is only as good as the network its on. And verizon has been ranked number one for the 7th time in a row by rootmetrics. man hey, uh, whats rootmetrics . Its the nations largest independent study and it ranked verizon 1 in call, text, data, speed and reliability. woman do they get a trophy . Not that i know of. But you get unlimited done right. man 2 why dont they get a trophy . man 3 they should get something. woman 2 how about a plaque . I have to drop this. My arms getting really tired. Unlimited on verizon. 4 lines, just 45 per line. Not just the automobile, f tomorrow will transform but mobility itself. An autonomousthinking vehicle protecting those inside and out. And its the mercedesbenz of today that will help us get there. The 2017 eclass, with innovations no car has offered before. And that will change driving forever after. Lease the e300 for 549 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. School lunch can be difficult. Cafeteria chaos. One little struggle. Can lead to one monumental mishap. Not with ziploc easy open tabs. Because life needs ziploc. Sc johnson. cheers and applause stephen hey welcome back, everybody say hi to jon batiste and stay human cheers and applause best band on television jon ahh stephen come on jon singing stephen you know, folks were doing it over here . All right. You know, ladies and gentlemen, a little earlier in the show, standing over there, i was talking to you about Donald Trumps hostile relationship with the media. And it really hit a new low on friday when, at an informing press briefing, sean spicer banned reporters from cnn, the new york times, politico, the Los Angeles Times and buzzfeed. Of course, buzzfeed audience boos i understand. No, its upsetting, but youve got to understand, buzzfeed was excluded because spicer didnt like the answer he got for which gilmore girl are you . laughter such a lorelei and this came only a few hours after donald trump said this i love the first amendment. Nobody knows loves it better than me. laughter stephen yeah. Its like they say, if you love the first amendment, set it free. laughter if it comes back, dont let it in the press briefing. And the root of all this conflict is that donald trump calls any story he doesnt like, fake news. cheers and applause i mean, the whole thing is just its just cheers and applause its its upsetting. cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen hey its jon stewart, everybody cheers and applause piano riffs hey, jon our band over there. Hey, jon, its nice to see you. Hey jon, ive got to say, its always great to see you. But, ive got to nice to see you as well. Stephen how did you get under my desk . I had a tunnel stephen a tunnel . A tunnel that ive built, straight from my farm. I dug a tunnel, right from stephen you came here straight from the farm . Right from the farm. Stephen you do your farming in makeup and a tie . laughter i like to look nice. laughter stephen jon. Hmm . Stephen you miss it, dont you . Yes, i miss it cheers and applause stephen, i spend the whole day cheers and applause i spend the whole day yelling about trump to the animals. laughter we have a barn spider. Stephen yes . Dont know the name, wove please get a job into a web. Into a web stephen now, jon, if you need to get away from the farm, youre always welcome here, obviously. Well, thats very kind. Thank you so much. Stephen i mean, we have a chair right here. Why dont you there you go. There you go. Stephen there you go. Oh, this is nice cheers and applause this is nice, i like this. Stephen so its a little tight. Stephen yes, it is. Yes, it is. Now, so, so, jon jon, what do you think about trump banning the Mainstream Media from that briefing, and him, and him not going to the Correspondents Dinner . I cant believe the guys got the balls let me say this. I cant believe the guys got the balls to get away with that. Trump lies more in one press conference than cnn does in a year, and this is coming from a guy who, as you know, hates cnn. laughter look at this. Look at this clip look, look. Got 306 Electoral College votes. I guess it was the biggest Electoral College win since ronald reagan. You guess wrong laughter it was smaller than both of Barack Obamas wins and bill clintons win and george h. W. Bushs win. Its the biggest win since reagan, if you dont count everyone since reagan. But what about this . What about this . The murder rate in our country is the highest its been in 47 years. Right . Did you know that . 47 years. Id say that in a speech and everybody was surprised, because the press doesnt tell it like it is. No, they were surprised because its not true its near the lowest its been in 45 years. cheers and applause and then, this one stephen huh, what . I love you so much. This is my favorite youve got to see this one. Bomb threats have been made against Jewish Centers all across the country in the last couple of weeks. There are people who are committing antisemitic acts, or threatening to you see, he said he was going to ask a very simple, easy question. And hes not. Its not. Not a simple question, not a fair question. Okay, sit down. I understand the rest of your question. So heres the story, folks. Number one, i am the least anti semitic person that youve ever seen in your entire life. laughter i dont think thats true laughter applause you know, hes not hes not he said that to a guy wearing a yarmulke donald, youre not even the least antisemitic person in the clip we showed stephen okay, jon, jon, okay, the president exaggerates, thats true. But you cant possibly know yes. Stephen if hes lying on purpose. You can stephen, you can hes lying on purpose you know how we know . Stephen how . Because he constantly says the phrase, believe me. Nobody says believe me unless they are lying. cheers and applause oh, honey ask me for examples. Stephen hold on. Jon, could you give me an example . I will give you an example hey, honey, i was just helping stacy test out her perfect sleep number, believe me. What . No, its just a giant wooden horse, believe me. What . Democrats in disarray . No, they have a plan. Believe me. cheers and applause stephen okay, but come on, jon, he doesnt i did it in three stephen look, he doesnt say believe me that often, jon. Really, he doesnt . Roll 212. Believe me. Believe me. Believe me. Believe me. Believe me. Believe me. Believe me. Believe me. Believe me. Believe me. Okay, believe me. Believe me. Believe me, folks. Believe me. Believe me. Believe me, believe me. Buhlieve me. Buhbull bleep . laughter applause buhbull bleep . Buhbull bleep . Buhbull bleep . Stephen so you agree with me that trump banning any members of the press is unamerican . Aw, its unamerican not to like the press, oooh you know what i say . I say, stop your whining, press. I say, stop can i talk to the media for a moment . Stephen sure, go ahead. May i which one of these cameras goes out to the media . Stephen that one goes straight to the media. laughter this one right here . Here i go. laughter hey, guys, hey, media. So, i heard donald trump broke up with you. Stings a little, doesnt it . You finally thought youd met your match a blabbermouth whos as thinskinned and narcissistic as you are. audience reacts laughter well, now its over well, good riddance, i say kick him to the curb. cheers and applause piano riff thank you. It is time for you to get your groove back, media. Because, lets face facts, you kind of let yourself go a little bit over these past few years. Put on a few pundits. Obsessing, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, about this one guy. Whats donny up to . Did he say anything about us . You think hes gonna come on our show . Do you think he likes us . He doesnt even have to come on, he can just call us oh, donny, please just let us know youre okay laughter and the whole time youre all chasing after donny, the rest of us are thinking, cant you see hes an bleep . laughter no, you try to defend him oh, no, no, no, thats just primaries donald. Thats just election donald. Youll see. We can change him hell get president ial yeah, howd that work out . It didnt. And do you know why . Because 70yearold men dont get less cranky or racist as time goes by laughter and applause unless there is one instance. Stephen theres one, really . There is . Yes, if i remember once correctly, unless they are visited at night by three spirits. But, i dont that doesnt laughter look, media, im not saying the breakup is going to be easy. Youre going to see your ex swiping far right with every tom, drudge, and breitbart. And, from what i heard, they do anal. audience reacts laughter and applause stephen jon, you are aware were on cbs right now, yes . In my defense, they do anal stephen ill write that down, all right. Did did i get us canceled . Stephen us . laughter cheers and applause heres my point, media heres my point. This breakup with donald trump has given you, the media, an amazing opportunity for self reflection and improvement. Instead of worrying about whether trump is unamerican or if he thinks youre the enemy or if hes being mean to you or if hes going to let you back into the briefings, do something for yourself. Selfimprovement. Take up a hobby i recommend journalism. laughter cheers and applause you know, i think this breakup is going to be the best thing that ever happened to you. Stephen so you really think the media is going to take this opportunity for selfreflection and get better at their jobs . I really do. Believe me. laughter stephen jon stewart, everybody well be right back with Connie Britton. Get back in the hole you back, back ar predictable, theres no other way to say this. Its over. Ive found a permanent escape from monotony. Together, we are perfectly balanced, our senses awake, our hearts racing as one. I know this is sudden, but they say if you love something. Set it free. See you around, giulia save on musthave trends. s pair pleats with a feminine top find your perfect Bomber Jacket and pick up an offtheshoulder dress. Plus, get 10 off when you spend 75 or more and get kohls cash too. Kohls. Hey allergy muddlers are you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool . Try zyrtec® zyrtec® starts working hard at hour one and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. Stick with zyrtec®. Muddle no more®. Try rhinocort® allergy spray for powerful nasal allergy relief. So tasty. Just turned on us. Thanks to dom you all made interpols top 10 most wanted list. Not you, roman. Youre number 11, [ chuckles ] left me . Your big forehead didnt fit on the poster. Did you ever think youd betray your family the way you did today . Holy it dont matter. Lets play. Dont feel much. Whoo ive had enough of this number 11, thats crazy rated pg13. Theres work to be done. Its not going to be easy but theres grit inside of you. And if you need extra motivation the grad fund at Strayer University can help push you forward. Because up to your last year of classes could be on us. Thats right. On us. Today is the day. Strayer university. Lets get it, america. band playing cheers and applause stephen yes, yes, my friends welcome back ladies and gentlemen, my first guest is an emmynominated actress you know from friday night lights, and from nashville, where she died in last weeks episode spoiler alert please welcome the very lovely, lively Connie Britton. band playing cheers and applause its so cold in here its so cold in here, my fingers have already shrunk two sizes. Stephen and your rings are falling off . Yes. Hi stephen well, nice to see you again. Last time we saw each other, we were at a very fun party. We were at the president s 55th birthday party. And not trump. Stephen not trump. Different president , yall. Just to clarify. Stephen might be a few years before i get invited back to that place. I know, i think the same. Stephen now nice house. Nice house. Beautiful house stephen yeah. I wonder what hes done with it . Stephen just, just photos of himself and gold leaf, everywhere. Just gold leaf everywhere. Just, so much gold leaf. Stephen now, listen, this is yeah. Stephen this is a big interview for me, because this is your first public appearance since your character, rena james, died last week. audience awws all right, now yes, yes, i know. audience awws its, its my first public appearance since then, too, so its a bit and, its my first time on your show cheers and applause so, its weird for me. Stephen its weird for all of us. Well, its weird for me because im dead, but im here. Do you see what im saying . Stephen right. How long did you play rena . Five years. Stephen five years, and your fans are ardent, passionate fans. Our fans are, literally stephen they kept that show on the air. Yeah, our fans are as amazing as this crowd. This is an amazing crowd, by the way. cheers and applause stephen theyre lovely people. Im impressed. You are, yall are impressive. cheers and applause but nashville fans, nashville fans are of this caliber. Stephen do you have any comforting news for your fans . Lets try to make the morning papers. Is your character really dead or does she come back as, like, her evil twin with a goatee, or. Zombies are hot right now. Well. Stephen zombie rena . I think these are great ideas, actually. Stephen thank you very much. Youre so smart. Stephen is she really dead . Shes really dead. Stephen oh, gosh. Im sorry im, im just, you know i gotta, i gotta, like, tell it like it is. Stephen yeah. Shes really dead, but i think the twin sister idea is not bad. Stephen mmhmm. What if. You know, its nashville. Anything could happen. What if the long lost twin sister comes back . Oh, and shes such a devil laughter oh, shes such a devil shell come back and be horrible stephen do you have any words of comfort for your fans out there . I would just say to my fans, first of all, that i love you so much. This show loves you so much. And that, you know, rena will live on forever. We, you know, i feel so fortunate that i was able to play that character, truly, with all my heart, i love that character so much. And just like when we lose somebody in our lives, the spirit lives on. Stephen mmmhmm, and reruns. And reruns. applause and theres always reruns. Theres reruns and the dvr. Stephen now, i did not know this, i was pretty excited to find out about this. Can i show this photo right here . This is incredible. When you were a younger woman, you were how dare you. How dare you. Stephen you were roommates with senator Kirstin Gillibrand, right there. Thats the two of you. applause looks like a couple of fun girls to run into when youre backpacking around. We werent only backpacking around, we were in beijing, china. Stephen okay, what year are we talking about here . How dare you. laughter that is rude stephen 2007. 2007. 2007, yeah, that was it. Stephen i just found out, you were an Asian Studies major . Yes. Stephen with a focus in chinese . Yes. small applause thank you thank you, one person. Thank you, thank you. cheers and applause stephen yeah, did that come in handy . Did the Asian Studies with a focus in chinese come in handy while playing rena . Yeah, i have, ive played laughs especially when playing rena. No, but i liked studying chinese because i and studying in china because i felt like it allowed me to learn about the world, and about the people. And thats, you know, thats part of what being an actor is. Stephen do you still have any mandarin . Do you have any. laughter ni hao. laughs thats it. Thats all ive got. But actually, but the thing thats so sad, is that i was going to try i was going to say no, and i was like, well, i can say one thing ni hao, ni shan jihaoma. And then you just said the thing that i could say. And i studied it for four years. laughter and i went there with the senator from new york. And you just said the thing that i can say. Stephen how did you guys get to know each other . Were you roommates . Yeah, we were roommates we were in college together, we were studying chinese together, and then we were roommates in beijing. Stephen now, what was, what was it like . Were you just by yourself, like, traipsing around . No, no, no, we were there with a college program. Stephen okay. And, you know, we were getting into a lot of trouble. We were there, actually, we were there in a summer term. We went to dartmouth college. We were there in a summer term. And so, it was the fourth of july, and while we were there stephen and did they celebrate the fourth of july there . Nope, no, no, but there is an American Embassy there, and so they, of course, had a big fourth of july party, like you do when youre in beijing. And so, we stephen all the fireworks you could possibly want. laughter but, but what we found out about thats actually true. But what we discovered was that they were having, at their fourth of july party, a lip sync contest. So, Kirstin Gillibrand and the two others girls and i were all, like, hanging out together in beijing, we prepared our lip sync performance which was singing to madonnas holiday. And we went stephen okay. Yeah. Stephen and, was this a hit at the time . laughter im going to 20 questions this thing. I see what you did there, and i dont like it. Okay . laughter and im mad at you, but, really, i did it to myself. Stephen all right. Anyway, the end of my story is, we won the lip sync contest at the American Embassy on the fourth of july. Yes. cheers and applause stephen in beijing with kristin gillibrand. In beijing, china, with Kirstin Gillibrand, the senator from new york city. I mean, new york state. Stephen i believe you deserve to be saluted. Now, what did you win . laughter just, honor . Maybe, like, Little American flags on a stick. Stephen how long were you over there . For three months, like, three or four months. Stephen did your family worry about you at all, sending you off . Probably. Stephen yeah . Yeah. Stephen like, what if you got sick or Something Like that . Oh, yeah, we did get sick. Oh, we got so sick. We got so sick we went to this beach town, we ate who knows what. We got so sick we had to go to this, like, chinese doctor and he gave us, like, toad venom. To make us stephen like, seriously . Yeah, im not even kidding. Literally, it was chinese medicine stephen yes . Which is a little different, and im telling you, it was made of toad ven well, actually, kirsten says that, too. She might be making that up. But i think it was toad venom. Stephen but you were there, too. I had to take it. We were, we were all violently ill. Stephen the guy said it was toad venom . Yeah, yes. Stephen that is actually Donald Trumps replacement for obamacare. laughter and applause just a little cheers and applause it worked, right, though . It worked . It worked it worked, everybody hey, theres hope, everybody, it worked stephen the best. Absolutely the best. Fantastic great news stephen well, congratulations. Now, also, youre also a u. N. Ambassador, right . Yes, yes. Stephen a good will ambassador. What does that mean . What is it you does that mean . applause how do you, how do you spread good will . How do i spread good will . I just, you know, i smile a lot. laughter stephen but, is your job i say, whats up . Stephen whats happened, whats happening in this photo here . This is you at the airport in nashville, right . That was in nashville. We recently greeted a new kurdish family who came in. They were turned away. applause because of trumps ban, they were turned away, but then they ended up being able to come into the country, and so we went to the International Airport and greeted them. Wonderful kurdish family. Stephen lovely. Well, thank you so much for being here yeah. Stephen it was lovely to see you. Thank you. Stephen i hope you do come back as your own evil twin. I know stephen whether its on nashville or this show. Either way, im happy with it. Either way, yes. Stephen nashville airs thursday on cmt. Connie britton, everybody well be back with zoey deutch. Stick around thank you so much cheers and applause straight talk. So you can take and share pictures any time of day. With a network that helps you save the day. Bunny . For half the cost. Bunny wants to go one more time here we go alright, im coming home get an iphone7. Unlimited plans with 5gb of highspeed data start at just 45 a month. On americas largest, most dependable 4glte networks. Find out more at straighttalk. Com yeah, i just saved a whole lot of money by swhuh. Ing to geico. We should take a closer look at geico. You know, geico insures way more than cars. Boats, motorcycles. Even rvs geico insures rvs . Whats an rv . Uh, the thing weve been stuck on for five years wait, im not a real moose . . Weve been over this, jeff. Were stickers im not a real moose . Give him some space. Deep breaths, jeff. Whats a sticker . . 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To see how much you could save now. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey welcome back, everybody folks, my next guest tonight is an actress who starred in dirty grandpa, and why him . You can now see her in before i fall. Please welcome zoey deutch cheers and applause band playing nice to meet you hi cheers and applause stephen nice to meet you. Im sorry i didnt get a chance to say hi before the show. I usually like to say hi before we come out here, but i was busy because there was a guy under my desk. I know, what was that about . Stephen check it out, yeah. Well, hi stephen well, but this must be kind of old hat for you, to be on camera, and have you done a lot of talk shows, and stuff like that . Well, this is my favorite. My familys favorite talk show. cheers and applause stephen oh, thats awfully nice. I wasnt fishing. No, i know, i know. Stephen but it took you almost 20 seconds to say that. Yeah, to suck up to you. Yeah, my grandma just sent me a text right before i walked on the stage that said, hes my favorite, dont screw it up. Stephen wow. Well, please say hi to grandma for me. Hi, pam. Stephen hi, pam. Shes doing great. Now, the reason i ask about, like, that you must be blase about this is that your mom is leah thompson, who we know from back to the future; cheers and applause and your father directed pretty in pink, howard deutch. Yes. Stephen and so, are you impressed at all, like, with celebrities, or anything like that . Is there anybody or are you just sort of blase about all that at this point . Again, are you asking if im impressed with you, because i already told you. laughter like, how many times do i need to tell you that i love you . Stephen i mean, im talking about, like, a real like, a real actor. But, like, an actor, or somebody like that. Is there some movie star . Ah, well, this story i, one time, i looked at helen mirren in the eyes, and put my hands like this, and threw up in them. But what was stephen im sorry. laughter no stephen please do go back. Yeah. Stephen why was that . Well, its sort of the beginning, middle and end of the story, theres not much else. Because, i guess, i mean, thats a telltale sign that i really love helen mirren. Stephen you were just so nervous . Like, to see her . My body knew before my mind. Stephen wow. I met her for the first time recently. She came on the show and she walked right up to me, and she kissed me on the mouth. I heard stephen yeah, i heard, too from my wife. laughter yeah, shes quite an attractive lady, that helen mirren is quite an attractive lady. Yeah. Stephen well, you worked with brian cranston. Hes a fantastic actor. He is. cheers and applause stephen yeah. And why him . Hes tremendous. Is he but hes so approachable and cool, right . I call him americas sweetheart. Hes the greatest man in the world. He really im going to say, clap for that for sure. applause stephen im in, im all in on that. Sure, yeah. Yeah, he was amazing. Actually the first day i met him was the morning he was nominated for an oscar. Stephen oh, for trumbo . Yeah, yeah. But i was on my way to meet him, and i wanted to give him something, and i didnt know what to do. And i stopped in to cvs and was like, a balloon and i got the balloon and i handed it to him and i was like, hi, im zoey and he was like and i looked at it and it said, its a boy. laughter blink. Like, i guess cvs was out of the congrats on your oscar nomination balloons, but. Stephen well, now, your new movie is called is it, its before i fall . Yeah. Stephen so whats the movie about . Its about a young girl that relives the last day of her life over and over again until she learns how to right her wrong. The thing i love about this movie is that, in what feels like a time of unparalleled meanness, this is a film about learning how to be kind to yourself, and learning how to be kind to others, and im really proud of the movie. Stephen oh, thats a very sweet thought. Thats a sweet thought. The director is here stephen the director is here tonight . Yeah applause ry russoyoung. Stephen now, this the film premiered at sundance this year, right . Yeah. Stephen okay, did you like it there . Because i have been out there once. Its like, did you enjoy, like, the festival atmosphere . It was my first time, and i was i get sick always, i think ive already now told you guys that. Stephen sure, sure. Only when youre your happiest. Yeah, right. I get sick all the time, so i was asking what if about altitude sickness and people are like, zoey, let me tell you, altitude sickness isnt real. Its just fear of bad reviews at sundance. And i was like, okay then the movie got good reviews and i was still throwing up, all through the womens march and straight to my premiere. And i was like, this isnt i dont know whats wrong with me. Stephen oh, so because i went to one of the womens marches down in d. C. , and they had one at sundance, too . Yeah cheers and applause stephen did you wear the hat and all the other stuff . I did, i did. Stephen thats nice. I did, i did. Stephen i wish id had one of those. Was that fun . Was there a lot of people out on the street for that . It was amazing. There was a giant snowstorm, though, so it was less of a march and more of a slide. Stephen just down the main street, there. Yeah. Stephen right, yeah . Now, youre also, youre going to be playing oona oneill, right . In the salinger biopic. Yeah. Stephen did you have you read a lot of salinger . Do you like his stuff . I have read a lot of his work, but whats interesting is that, i was sort of delving into a lot of his short stories that he didnt want to be published, that he had kept more hidden, like young folks and but oona oneill is Eugene Oneills daughter, the prolific and slightly depressing, depending on your opinion of him writer. So, that was really exciting. Stephen did you have you read some of the uncollected stuff, like girl in 1941 with no waist at all and girl i knew in the inverted forest and stuff like that . All right, now youre just bragging. Hes like youre a huge salinger fan this is this is a whole other territory i didnt play salinger, all right . Stephen but, young folks is pretty good. You got young folks. Yeah, i threw that one in there. I was like, i knew that this was that you were going to yeah. Stephen yeah, because you know why . Im an bleep . laughter but im happy about it. Lovely to meet you. Thank you so much. cheers and applause before i fall opens this friday. Zoey deutch, everybody well be right back with a performance by lori mckenna. cheers and applause its time for buy one take one starting at 12. 99, at olive garden. Come for an irresistible meal here, and leave with a great meal too. So you can enjoy family time one more time. Buy one take one, only for a limited time. At olive garden. Because when it comes to great tasting water. Fill quickly and pour immediately, for great tasting water. Fast. New brita stream. School lunch can be difficult. Cafeteria chaos. One little struggle. Can lead to one monumental mishap. Not with ziploc easy open tabs. Because life needs ziploc. Sc johnson. So this year, theyre getting a whole lot more. Box 365, the calendar. Everyone knows my paperless, safe driver, and multicar discounts, but theyre about to see a whole new side of me. Heck, i can get you over 600 in savings. Chop, chop. Do i look like ive been hurt before . Because ive been hurt before. Um, actually your session is up. Hang on. 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Nominee lori mckenna cheers and applause you know theres a light that glows by the front door dont forget the key is under the mat where childhood stars shine always stay humble and kind well, go to church cause your mama says to visit grandpa every chance that you can it wont be wasted time always stay humble and kind hold the door say please say thank you dont steal dont cheat and dont lie i know you got mountains to climb, but always stay humble and kind when the dreams youre dreaming come to you when the work you put in is realized let yourself feel the pride and always stay humble and kind dont expect a free ride from no one dont hold a grudge or a chip and heres why bitterness keeps you from flying always stay humble and kind know the difference between sleeping with someone and sleeping with someone you love i love you aint no pick up line always stay humble and kind well, hold the door say please say thank you dont steal dont cheat and dont lie i know you got mountains to climb, but always stay humble and kind when those dreams that youre dreaming come to you when the work you put in is realized let yourself feel the pride but always stay humble and kind so, when its hot eat a root beer popsicle shut off the a. c. And roll the windows down let the summer sun shine always stay humble and kind dont take for granted the love this life gives you when you get where youre going turn right back around then help the next one in line always stay humble and kind cheers and applause stephen her album, the bird and the rifle, is available now lori mckenna, everybody well be right back. cheers and applause stephen thats it for the late show, everybody. Good night captioning funded by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont worry bout where you come from its gonna turn out right its the late, late show