And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 563, iowa steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon . . . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh [ cheers and applause ] that is a crowd that is a great crowd right there. Welcome looking good. Looking good, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] this is it. Youre here, you made it you made it. Youre here. Weve got a fun show for you. A new poll finds that donald trump and Hillary Clinton are in a a statistical tie just a week from election day. But on the bright side, at least trumps finally in a tie that was made in america. [ laughter and applause ] so thats steve oh [ applause ] jimmy but the big story right now is the world series. Tonight was game seven between the chicago cubs and the cleveland indians. [ cheers and applause ] the cubs actually came back from being down three games to one, to force a seventh game. Thats right, cleveland had a bi disappeared. Or as Hillary Clinton put it, fbi. [ laughter and applause ] and get this, i saw that a pair of tickets to tonights game seven sold on stubhub, for almost 40,000. [ audience ohs ] and the couple still left in the seventh inning to beat traffic. I mean thats just [ laughter and applause ] get your purse, linda. [ laughter ] well catch the end on the radio. [ laughter ] i saw that both Hillary Clinton National Commercials during the world series games. Marking the only time cubs and indians fans were booing at the same time. [ laughter ] its like, were watching this to get away from you. [ applause ] actually, did you see this . On monday, the white house announced plans to give the president s official twitter account to the next president. Hillary was like, forget the nuclear codes. We can not trust donald trump with our nations twitter handle. [ laughter and applause ] the twitter handle . Just as we said before, theres a week until the election, a the polls just keep coming. In fact, a new poll finds that 73 of tinder users support Hillary Clinton over donald trump. [ laughter ] which makes sense, because people on tinder are used to looking at their options and going, i guess. [ laughter and applause ] yeah, do it. What do i know . I dont know. [ applause ] actually, theres probably no one more ready for the election to be over than the people who work in the news. So we reached out to see what the people who have been covering this thing for almost its all said and done. And check out what they said. Megyn kelly from fox news, said, im going to spend time with my family. Msnbcs rachel maddow, said, im looking forward to catching up on sleep. [ light laughter ] next, cnns wolf blitzer, said, im going to a day spa in chinatown, and getting a long massage. [ laughter and applause ] . . Then, Nbcs Lester Holt said, im taking a vacation with my wife. Next, wolf blitzer, said, theyll drip piping hot wax the pain is exhilarating, and i love it. [ laughter and applause ] then, Abcs George Stephanopoulos said, ill just relax at home and read. Next, wolf blitzer said, after the wax, i hang upside down like a bat, for five hours while the masseuse tickles my feet with a giant boa feather. My safe word is, dont stop. [ laughter and applause ] then Chris Wallace from fox news said, ill go to the movies. And finally, wolf blitzer said, then ill grab as many free bathrobes i can carry. Sprint out of there while steve wow. Jimmy check this out, apples new update, they just updated their ios in the phone, there. It actually changed the peach emoji so that it no longer looks like a cartoon butt. [ laughter ] yeah. It used to look like this. And now it looks like this. [ laughter and applause ] so thats much better. Thats much better. Steve thats better. Looks like its cracked. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah. And finally, this was kind of crazy. W balloon to drop an iphone from the edge of space, at 100,000 feet in the air to see what would happen. And still, somehow the phone landed in the guys toilet. [ laughter and applause ] i screwed that joke up. I screwed it up a little bit. Can i just read it again . [ laughter ] ill read it again from here. Maybe i need to be closer. That was the problem. I like it dark. [ laughter ] mysterious. Mysterious. So that if it bombs again, you wont remember it was me. [ laughter ] and finally [ laughter ] can i talk to you guys for a a second . This is kind of crazy. . . I saw that in a tech blogger in california [ laughter ] an iphone from the edge of space, 100,000 feet in the air to see what would happen. [ light laughter ] and somehow, the phone still landed right in the guys toilet. [ laughter and applause ] get the rice get the rice we have a great show tonight give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, guys thank you very much. We have a great show tonight. But before we get started, were doing this fun new show for snapchat. And the first one goes live tomorrow morning. We had this idea called instant song challenge. Basically, we had people snap us random song titles. And then me and a surprise guest made songs out of them on the spot. We did one with our good friend justin timberlake, who is in the movie trolls out this weekend. Itll be on snapchat starting tomorrow at 8 00 a. M. 48 hours. Steve ooh. Jimmy so tomorrow at 8 00 a. M. , go to snapchat, look for fallon on the discover tab, and check out what we did. It was a lot of fun. Thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] its been a great week so far. Theres more ahead. Tomorrow night, Emmy Awardwinner Benedict Cumberbatch will be here [ cheers and applause ] who doesnt love Benedict Cumberbatch . Steve hes a delight jimmy hes hosting saturday night live. Steve yep. Jimmy hes hosting saturday night live with solange, right . The musical guest. Thats gonna be great. We have music from jim james. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats a good show. And then on friday, my man dana carvey will be here. Steve come on, yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy one of our favorites, alicia keys will be joining us steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy but first, its always a pleasure to have this guy come through. Hes not only a good actor, but also a great guy thats super funny. Oh, my gosh. He stars in a big new world war ii drama out this friday called hacksaw ridge. Mr. Vince vaughn is t [ cheers and applause ] getting rave reviews. Steve come on. Jimmy a. O. Scott, New York Times, justin chang, l. A. Times, david edelstein, new york magazine. Vince vaughn getting rave reviews for this new film. Yeah, and he deserves it. Hes awesome. Vince and i are going to talk about the movie. Then things are gonna get very intense with an emotional interview. Steve ooh. [ light laughter ] jimmy so, stick around for that. Plus, we love this guy. Hes a very talented, talented comedian. He just won an emmy award for steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy love him. Steve love him, too. Jimmy and we have great, great standup from my man, Nate Bargatze is here tonight [ cheers and applause ] steve i love this show jimmy the whole show is going to be fun. Hey, guys, we are in week nine of the nfl season, and the big sunday night football matchup is between the Denver Broncos and the Oakland Raiders right here on nbc. Now, as you know, at the end of every season they give out awards, like most valuable player. But they also give out awards during the season, sort of like the ones in high school yearbooks. Ke class clown. Stuff like that. So with that in mind, its time for tonight show superlatives. Here we go. . Tonight show superlatives . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first player is jordan taylor. Hes a wide receiver for the Denver Broncos. He was voted, most athletic hanson brother. Steve wow. [ laughter and applause ] he was voted most likely to kiss the tips of his fingers like a french chef after a a touchdown. [ laughter and applause ] magnifique heres adam gotsis. He was voted most likely to grab the clippers out of his barbers hands and say, now i try. [ laughter and applause ] interesting. Steve very specific award. Jimmy next up from the Oakland Raiders is jon condo. Steve wow. [ laughter ] jimmy he was voted most likely to be Bradley Cooper with a shovel. [ laughter and applause ] steve wow. Jimmy what . [ squeaky voice ] steve hi jimmy i didnt know they gave that award out. [ laughter ] next we have jordan norwood. He was voted most likely to show up three hours early to your dinner party. [ laughter and applause ] need help with anything . Cutting vegetables . Setting the table . Anything . [ laughter ] next we have darius kilgo. He was voted most likely to steve wow. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy and finally from the raiders, we have darren bates. He was voted football coolio. [ laughter ] there you go everybody, those are your nfl superlatives. Well be right back with vince vaughn [ cheers and applause ] . . . . . . . . . . Warning this commercial contains brief moments of product nudity. Stripped of chocolate, its peanuts exposed around a soft caramel center. A payday bar will get you through your day. Expose yourself to payday. Also in bites. Its your tv, take it with you. On your devices, datafree. Switch to directv and lock in your price for 2 years. Offers starting at 50 month. Sir . You give me that salad and i will pay for your movie and one snack box. Can i keep the walnuts . Yes. But i get to pick your movie. Can i pick the genre . Nope. With the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Backed by the service and security of american express. You get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Its time to snap out of it. Hello moto. 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Congressman blums only out for himself. . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we are joined by a a very funny man. Hes also a very talented actor. Starting nationwis friday, you can see him on the big screen starring opposite Andrew Garfield in the critically acclaimed world war ii drama called hacksaw ridge. Say hello to a friend of the show. Here is vince vaughn, ladies and gentlemen [ cheers and applause ] . . Very nice. Jimmy that is vince vaughn right there. Thats what they do. Jimmy youre a stud. They heat it up. Unbelievable. Jimmy what was that . Is it we are doing the turtles original sample. The sample to the dnight song. Jimmy who does that song . The turtles. Jimmy the turtles . Flo eddie. The term delicious is what that was. Jimmy thank you. Always. Always. Jimmy ive got to say, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. J exciting day. Because right now people watching at home, they probably know, we dont yet. Thats right. Jimmy whos going to win the world series. But i know youre a lifelong cubs fan. So this must be so exciting. Its an exciting time. Its unbelievable that were with game seven. Jimmy yes. So im very excited. And im excited to watch the game. Its a little bit surreal. Youve been with this with the red sox. You guys had a long drought. Jimmy i played [ applause ] im not holding anything. Jimmy no, you got to hold it back a little bit. Gotta take it down a little. Let me tell you something. Some forces cant be contained and this is one of them. [ laughter ] one more time for fever pitch. [ cheers ] jimmy and honestly that was 86 years. You know . Weirdly, theo epstein, who was running the red sox then. Hes now with the cubs. It was surreal when you see fans that havent seen their team win in that long. Talking about it. cuz it was like the response in boston when they did win, was jimmy it wasnt screaming like it was like weeping, crying. People on the phone like, dad, we did it. Seriously, im getting choked up just thinking about it. They really did. And you would drive down these awesome streets in boston and you would see great sports town. Jimmy yeah. In the cemeteries they would the grave stones because people didnt live to see their teams win, and yeah. Yeah. Powerful. Jimmy tonight is powerful, whether it be cleveland or chicago im on the other side. I respected cleveland. Theyve had a long drought as well. It would be easier if it was another team that has always won. It is interesting that its two. But being a chicago fan, as you can understand, im only on one side of this argument. [ laughter ] i hope theres tears and graveyard stuff going on in chicago. Jimmy thats not what dont want to hope for that. Well i hopehe [ talking over each other ] jimmy im emotional i dont even have a dog in the fight. Im rooting either way, i think people are just going to be so happy. Thats true. Jimmy the world is going to be watching, and enjoying themselves. And thats what its all about, good sportsmanship. Thats right. Jimmy how are the kids . The kids are fantastic. Jimmy how was trickortreating . Trickortreating was an exciting time. Theyre still. Theyre young enough so theyre still not really in charge of their costumes and that, but they enjoy it. Jimmy how old my daughter is almost six. And my son is three. Jimmy yeah, they have no idea. But theyre getting candy. Its a nice day. Theyre putting on a costume. Theyre excited. Jimmy they came to the office and the little ones just yelling treat, treat, treat and just grabbing candy. I have no idea what the candy was. I loved to trickortreat like nobodys business. Jimmy even as a child you liked it . I liked it as a kid cuz that was nice. You maybe have a parent they walk you around and you get hopped up on the sugar. Although, in the 70s, it was different. It was just a baseline of sugar. I mean you were having sugar cereals every day. You would drink tang. Tang had sugar in it probably. Jimmy oh yeah. So there would be a small spike you know . [ light laughter ] today, these kids when they have sugar its like theyre all eating kale all day. Theyre going out of their minds. Right . [ laughter and applause ] no, its a bigger swing. Jimmy its a spike. Its a spike. We had that big league chew. Sucking down big league chew. Its crazy, right . Jimmy i used to have sugar all day long. You thought you were chewing tabacco, with big league chew, a wad of gum in your mouth. That was just a normal day. Its very different. Jimmy yeah. But once you get to be older and you go out by yourself, like once you get to be nine or ten, and youre kind of on your own moving around in the other nine or tenyearolds, it becomes an exciting time. Jimmy oh yeah. Did you do that . Jimmy not really. I mean, a little bit. What does that mean . How do you a little bit do that . [ light laughter ] jimmy i remember the idea of doing it. I was very overprotective my parents were very overprotective. They were . Jimmy i never got to leave well you turned out great. But overprotective in what way . Jimmy i never really got to leave my backyard at all. [ laughter ] who are you . Were you in the Amish Country of pennsylvania . Jimmy no, i was not. I was in upsew socrates, new york. Yep. Respect. Jimmy yeah. Respect. It was like a chain link fence from me and the outside world. How big was the yard . Suburban yard . How much acreage . Jimmy half an acre maybe. Thats not bad. Jimmy yeah, not bad. But its a small confined area for a young irish falcon to be contained like that. [ light laughter ] jimmy for a young irish falcon. Yeah. They saw the beauty in this irish falcon and they put him in a guilded cage. I dont know why. Why were they so selfish to keep your wings for them. I think my parents i think they kind of crate trained me. Uhhuh. [ light laughter ] jimmy its a new thing. In the 70s, they didnt know what was happening. Crate training. Jimmy they crate trained for children. So when you were 11, did you go out on your own to get some candy . Jimmy i remember i did once. It was more about like, like vandalism. Thats right. [ light laughter ] thats right. Thats what i would expect from a young falcon. Not a good thing to do, but youre learning, youre pushing boundaries. Did you ever go to a house and they would have the candy out that would say please just take one . Jimmy yeah. What would happen . Jimmy id take one. You would . Jimmy probably, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] thats why we love the falcon. Jimmy yeah. Thats why we love the irish falcon. Jimmy the irish falcon. I would go by the rules. [ talking over each other] i remember like shaving cream me and my friends there would be no more candy. Jimmy youd take the whole thing . We did. Hey, this is great. Theres a whole thing of reeses. Those are good ones to get. Jimmy yeah, if you just take the whole thing. If it was just an apple, there would be a trick played it is trickortreat. Jimmy that is true. I thought that was an option. I thought it was their choice. They were gonna trick you . Jimmy i said look i love magic. Okay. Jimmy im a fan. I go trickortreat, ill take either one. Please levitate. Jimmy i dont know. You could be david blaine. I dont know whos going to ring the bell. The guy is a professional magician. And hes like, you came to the right place, ive got a trick for you. Its unbelievable. I dont have to go to vegas. I dont have to do anything. In upstate new york of all places. Im gonna get a trick. It was an odd conversation. Youre laying in bed at night, youre scared pe and your mom would be sitting there with you. And say, how was halloween, falcon . You would say, well, it was okay. [ light laughter ] what do you mean it was okay . You got lots of candy . Yeah, lots of candy. What could have made it better . No one did a trick. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy not one, yeah. When you saw the boy in the bubble, what did you think . [ laughter ] were you like finally someone gets me . Do you feel like that your life everyone is in the bubble. Jimmy the young john travolta. The young john travolta. Jimmy no, but i remembered i had a trickortreat bag that was purchased, like a plastic bag. A plastic bag. Thats nice. A pillowcase is a sturdier for candy. But heres what i want to say to you. Theres no judgment. Its a fantastic childhood is what you had. You had very caring parents i bet theyre great grandparents. Jimmy yeah. They are. I have no complaints. No complaints about it at all . I think its just like everyones got a unique way to the waterfall, but were all drinking. Were all drinking. Jimmy let me write that one down. Thats a good thats my yearbook quote. That was my yearbook quote. Lets talk about hacksaw ridge, please. Because, manoman this is why i love you. Youre funny, but youre also youre a great actor. And in this movie you get to be both. Youre kind of sarcastic when you have to be, and youre a a bad ass, youre a hard ass in war ii veteran named desmond doss who wanted to go and serve and be a medic but refused to carry a gun. Then went to okinawa, which is one of the roughest battles that was in the pacific. And one night dragged 75 men completely unarmed, would go out by himself, into the battle, and bring wounded people back in. When i first read this, i thought, this is crazy. Id never heard of this story. Theres documentaries and stuff on it. Its completely true. So it was a powerful story about a guy with conviction, to himself. Andrew garfield is unbelievable. Jimmy great isnt he great in it . Hes a terrific actor. Jimmy i know andrew and when he comes on the show, hes like, [ imitating Andrew Garfield ] hello, how are you . He doesnt really talk like that, but hes british. Pretty good. Jimmy but man he does a a great accent in this and you have no idea that hes english. I thought the girl was fantasic too. Theresa palmer is fantastic. Jimmy theresa palmer. The love story in the beginning is really terrific. Young innocent love is very, very powerful. Jimmy you also forget how young these soldiers were in world war ii. Here we are talking about our trickortreating night. Jimmy yeah. These gentlemen were going on and fighting. Jimmy its intense but its great. And youre getting great reviews. Congrats on everything. Thank you. Jimmy everything i read, including me. I give you good reviews. I have a clip. Heres vince vaughn and Andrew Garfield in the big new movie called hacksaw ridge in theaters this friday. Check this out. Gentlemen i want you to meet private desmond doss. Apparently private doss does not believe in violence. He does not practice violence. He will not even deign to touch a weapon. You see, private doss is a a conscientious objector. So i plead with you, do not look to him to save you on the battlefield. Because he will undoubtedly be too busy wrestling with his conscience to assist sarge, thats not true. Private, as you were about this. It is what we meant fight for. To defend our rights, and to protect our women and children. Even if private doss beliefs it might cause women and children to die. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well done. Thank you. Jimmy come back, everybody. Vince vaughn and i are going to play a fun new game after the break. Stick around, everybody . . . You got your mom side. . . A just be calm side. . . You got a, i never thought id get married at 65 side. . . Hey im just looking side. . . Man, you better buy that ride, whooo . . Thats why theres nationwide. . . Yeeeahhh . . Nationwide is on your side. . Hanes wants to end the smellfie. This thing weve all done doesnt need to be a thing. Theres a smart way to stay fresh. Hanes with freshiq advanced odorprotection technology. 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The easiest decision youll make all week is to shop kohls this weekend your purchase of 25 dollars or more everyone gets kohls cash too kohls. So whats your news . I got a job ill be programming at ge. Oh i got a job too, at zazzies. friends gasp the app where you put fruit hats on animals . I love that guys, ill be writing code that helps machines communicate. interrupting i just zazzied you. phone vibrates look at it friends giggle i can do dogs, hamsters, guinea pigs. You name it. Im going to transform the way the world works. proudly i programmed that hat. Ing turbines power cities. I put a turbine on a cat. friends ooh and ahh i can make hospitals run more efficiently. . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome, welcome, welcome back everyone were hanging out with the long answer is yes. The long answer is yes. Jimmy the wrong answer is yes. The long the long. Jimmy oh, the long. The long answer for this [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats right. And we love the roots. Were hanging out with vince vaughn, everybody, right here. [ cheers and applause ] now, vince, you are in the new world war ii drama hacksaw ridge but youve also acted in many comedies like wedding crashers and anchor man. [ cheers and applause ] to be able to do both comedy and drama that must mean youre in touch with many emotions. Would you say thats true . I dont shy away from them. [ light laughter ] jimmy lets see how emotional an interview. . . . Emotional interview . Now, heres how it works. Were going to have a normal conversation with each other. Every so often were going to hear this ding sound. [ ding ] my emotions just came flooding to me. Thats crazy. Jimmy when we hear that, well be given an emotional situation that we have to act out as we keep talking. Once i turn on this faucet, i dont know if ill be able to turn it off. [ light laughter ] jimmy alright, here we go. Here we go. We are entering the holiday season. Thats weird. Youd asked me if i have plans or not . I dont know it just feels like youre assuming i wouldnt have plans. That is weird. [ light laughter ] jimmy i mean i have plans. You do . Jimmy yeah, you think i dont have plans . I have plans. I just think its weird that you would even i mean like jimmy im just saying, i obviously have plans. Do i look like a person im a person who has plans. Jimmy no, no, no, no, no, no. You can have plans. I can do stuff, too. Its the holidays. Whatever i dont care what holiday were celebrating. People like, you know, some plans, you know. [ ding ] jimmy what you consider plans. I guess theyre i guess theyre plans, yeah. Sure. Sure good for you. Good for you. I think if, you know, if your soul is real empty, its probably nice to feel good about other people not having stuff to do. [ laughter ] that might make you feel like a a big, strong man. If someone else doesnt have running there. Jimmy yeah, yeah. [ ding ] yeah. I just, i just, gosh. Can we get positive for a a second . [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah. Lets get what is out there . I mean i mean, im like, what notch in orions belt are we up to these days . I mean, its probably getting bigger, you know . You seen orions belt, i see his whole closet. Its amazing. [ laughter ] its like i cant even eat because i feel like its just amazing. Jimmy im looking at two big planets right now. [ laughter ] im looking at the whole solar system. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy yeah. This is great. I love space. Space is real fun to talk about. Its just it just compared to what im doing now, space bores me. Whats wrong . You feeling a little feeling something took a a turn . Are you okay . [ laughter ] jimmy its good. Its all good. Sometimes if youre feeling a little down, sometimes you just give a big smile, it kind of warms up your, warms up your spirit. Externally if you do something confident, it can make the internals confident. Why dont you start with a big, big smile. [ laughter and applause ] let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Jimmy whoa, whoa, you want to Say Something . I dont want to get on a a soapbox. People know that about me. Im not a big jimmy you want to Say Something . Let me tell you something. Youre talking about talent, looks, charm, great interviewer, lots of fun, jimby is your man, am i right . . . Jimmy thats what im talking about right there. Vince vaughn, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] stick around, well be right [ cheers and applause ] . . Simulation initiated. . Take on any galaxy with a car that could stop for you. Simulation complete. The new nissan rogue. Rogue one a star wars story. In theaters december 16th. Discover card. Im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. Give it. Sure its free for everyone. Oh well thats nice and checking your score wont hurt your credit. Oh im so proud of you. Well thank you. Free at at discover. Com creditscorecard, if you could see your cough, its just a cough. Sfx woman coughing youd see how often you cough all day. And so would everyone else. Robitussin 12 hour delivers fast, powerful cough relief that lasts up to 12 hours. Darien why have the latest smartphone if you cant use it wherever you go . Switch to u. S. Cellular for our best plan yet 7 gigs of data per line for only 49. To share more photos at your cabin or video chat at your secret fishing spot. All for just 49. The best part . We put towers in places the other guys dont. Because u. S. Cellular thinks you deserve a signal that works wherever you are. Switch to u. S. Cellular and get a whopping 7 gigs of data per line . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is an Emmy Award Winning comedian and New York Times bestselling author. You can see him performing as a a part of the new york comedy festival at the Beacon Theater thursday night here in new york city. Everyone, please welco [ cheers and applause ] . . Wow. Jimmy its always its always a good part of the show. Jimmy thanks for coming back. I appreciate it. I know you had a great halloween. Yes. Jimmy with your daughter. Yeah, well, we both equally love halloween. Jimmy yeah, yeah. Were both like equal fans of it. Jimmy me and you, you mean . Or you and your daughter . You know what, ill take it either way. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, i enjoy it. However you want to do it, jimby. So the [ laughter ] jimmy kind of hoping the irish falcon would pick up. [ laughter ] somebody irishfalcon and get it trending, please . Jimmy no, dont do that please. You went all out the thing was, she wanted to be raven from teen titans go. Because she loves that cartoon. And then she goes, youve got to be ravens dad, who is this demon named trigon, so jimmy i mean this is not how cool is your dad. [ applause ] you did this last year, too. Well, i did this a couple of years ago and it kind of backfired, because she said, i want to be spidergirl, and you have to be dr. Octopus. She was three. Jimmy dr. Octopus. Octopus. And theres no dr. Octopus costumes. But luckily, she said it to me on october 1st. And then i ran into the next day i ran into adam savage from mythbusters. And were talking about halloween and i told him like, i dont know how to make an and he goes, ill make you a a dr. Octopus costume. Dont worry about it. Im like are you sure . He goes i totally and he made me this amazing costume. Jimmy ive got to show this. Which he sends to me. Jimmy look at this thing. Holy moly. [ applause ] jimmy that is the best costume ive ever seen. Well, okay. Yes, it was a great costume, but the minute it arrived, i go, hey, ive got my dr. Octopus costume. Dorothy from wizard of oz and you have to be the lion. She totally changed her mind. So, i made her take this picture. And the minute we were done, she took her spidergirl outfit off and goes i want to be dorothy. I had to run out and get a lion costume which i couldnt find. But i found one, i think it was kind of like an adult one. cause it was a lion costume but there were no arms. It was this weird sleeveless and my arms, like my bare arms, it looks like two big tuof vanilla cookie dough. Like it did not look it looked like it looked like a lion, and a weird scientist was like wouldnt it be nice, a world if lions had cookie dough arms . [ laughter ] so then i was like walking and the other adults were like what are you dressed it was the creepiest yeah, and i was just like skeeving everyone out on the block. Jimmy and like i have the best costume at home right now, im dr. Octopus. Exactly. Yeah but no, im weird pudding armed lion. That was my jimmy pudding arms. Yeah. Jimmy lets talk about this. Congratulations for this. Oh, thank you. Which i think is so fun. I love this is so for me. All of my first comedy albums were on vinyl. Yours were on vinyl, right . Jimmy of course. What were the what were the ones what were your what were your big ones . Jimmy i had smothers brothers were big. Rodney dangerfield, no respect. You had no see, no respect, and the flip side was son of no respect. Remember the two sides of the album . Jimmy oh, right. Thats righ jimmy i would memorize rodney dangerfield. I use to have a record player in my room. But my parents, as i was saying earlier, they were very overprotective. My dad would actually take a a key and he would scratch out the curse words. Hang on jimmy so that meant he had to sit and listen to the album and figure out where the curse words came jimmy yeah. And stop and then back it up scratch out. Jimmy yeah. Thats horrible, yet screwed up all the jokes. Oh, really . My doctor and all of a a sudden it goes and a pause. And you go doctor . Thats not a joke. Youre thinking, comedy is a a cinch. Jimmy its so easy to do. But folks, my shoes [ laughter and applause ] . . Jimmy it works. It still works. It still works. Jimmy im happy that youre doing that. Because any person out there that loves standup, youll love this talking for clapping. Thank you. Jimmy and when you won everyone was so happy for you. I was in there. We watched you get up there. It was very emotional, because i know that this years been tough. This year has not been fun. That was a moment where, i mean, i went into the emmys very relaxed and happy with, oh tig, or amy will win. And im totally cool with that. And when they call my name, you see it i have no speech. I dont know what im going to say. I almost break down in the middle of it because i realize im not going to get to hang out with my wife, michelle, afterward, because she passed then ive got to kind of recompose myself and thank more people. Then i thank her at the end. Now im its 6 months and 12 days on. And man, grief is the thing about grief is, it likes its surprises. So, a couple of months ago if i started to cry or have a moment where i missed her, it was for a reason like, oh, she loved this wilco song, or, oh you know, that i remem now grief will make me cry at i have no idea why im doing it. Because it so knows all the triggers. But it wants to surprise me so ill be like waiting i was waiting for an app to update. And i dont know why, but then i started crying thinking, theres apps on her phone that will never update again. Like, it was the dumbest thing. So now im like, im like the going to hulk out crying, and it will be for nothing. Jimmy when is it going to happen . Yeah, when will it happen . Like ill get some dim sum. And then you go dim sum my life is actually dim. [ light laughter ] im just eating so its just sucks. Jimmy i just want to say we love you here. And all of our fans. Its tough out there to deal with this grief. But also to continue to go out and making people laugh. Because people need a laugh. Thank you. Jimmy we love you, buddy. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Jimmy youre a tough dude. Youre a good dad, too. I know. Jimmy Patton Oswalt. Go see him at the Beacon Theater well be right back with comedian Nate Bargatze, everybody [ cheers and applause ] . . This is my body of proof. This is my body of proof that i can fight Psoriatic Arthritis with humira. Humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. Its proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. Humira is the number 1 prescribed biologic for Psoriatic Arthritis. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. 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American cars now burn more fuel made from corn than they do from Saudi Arabian oil. But, thats just the start. Grassleys legislation has encouraged a new fuel made from cobs, not kernels. Yep, corncobs made into fuel. Right here in iowa. Grassley works. Im Chuck Grassley, and i approve this message. . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is one of my absolute favorite comedians, and a regular here on the tonight show. You can see him this week festival as well as the stand this saturday. Everybody, please welcome, the very funny Nate Bargatze [ cheers and applause ] . . Thank you. Thank you, everybody. That was it was unbelievable. Alright. Ive done comedy for a while, ive done a lot of different shows. Theyre not, you know, theyre not as like, in it. Like, all the way in it. Like, we went to them. Like, we didnt meet em out, you know . So we go in. Lets say you guys are the inmates. So im sitting here, im like doing my dumb jokes. None of it works. Every joke i have involves being outside in the past 30 years. Like, just im like, traffics crazy. You guys remember. Who remembers . People remember traffic here, right . And then an inmate gets up and starts walking toward me. And im like, oh, boy, here we go. You know, like, hes going to use me to break out. And i dont want to point at him. But no ones like looking. But i am using hand gestures. I m like, what do you guys do on this side of the room . Should he be walking up like that . [ laughter ] turns out the bathrooms are behind me. Hes a good guy. I judged him on what he was [ laughter and applause ] it was my fault. So im like against a brick wall. And it goes like halfway up. And the urinals are all behind here. So then he comes to use the bathroom, and he comes to the urinal right behind me. So then its just me and him just looking at everybody. And he peed. He peed without even it was the most confidence ive ever seen in my entire life. This guy did, this guy did it. Alright . Thats not an innocent man doesnt pee like that. Thats a guilty, im not getting out. [ laughter ] i took social media off my phone. Its too much. Like you just you know, you walk around and just look at it all day. Facebook, they did a real good job. Its a real good company. And facebook is just too much. Everybodys seeing everybodys best or worst days of their lives. You know . Married, or my house is on fire. No ones like, todays normal, nothing happened. I have no strong opinions about anything. My wife gets mad because, shes like, you dont like any of my photos on facebook. And its like, is this not enough just us being married and living together . [ laughter and applause ] like, you know how much and i did like it. When we took it, i said, i like that photo. Theres not much more than i can do in this photos life. [ laughter ] weve been married for ten years, and we still fight. Like, you can when youre married, fighting is open 24 hours. Anytime. We got in a fight recently at 3 00 a. M. We woke up to get in this fight. [ laughter ] nashville. We have a dog that freaks out when it thunders. So it was thundering. So we have sedatives to give her, because there are only so many times you can tell a dog its just thunder before youre like just take this. I hope this works. Im not going to hold you through it, you know. So i wake up, and i asked my wife, hey, where are the sedatives at . Shes like, theyre at the top of the cabinet. So i go get them. When i get them i look at the bottle. The bottle said they were expired. Theyre expired. She was annoyed. She was like, theyre not expired. Those are new pills in an old pill bottle. And i was like, alright. I should have thought of that. Thats my fault. [ laughter ] people come to our house all the time and they get milk, and theyre like, is that milk expired . And i have to go, thats new milk in an old milk jug. Are you the stupidest person ive ever met in my life . How could you not figure that out . Thats basically what i told her. But that was the gist. And instead of just saying, youre right, thats a logical statement, she dives all in, and tells me, it doesnt matter, the dog medicine cant even expire. She hasnt even heard a rumor about that. She doesnt know that. We dont know any dog medicine people. I know who she knows. We dont know one dog medicine maker thats like, texting her. Let me tell you a little secret about dog medicine. We invented medicine that cant expire. Alright, guys, thank you so . . Jimmy oh, my gosh oh, my gosh oh my gosh Nate Bargatze his comedy special, fulltime magic, is available at natebargatze. Com. Well be right back, everybody. Oh, my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] . . [ cheers and applause ] Nate Bargatze, by the way that was fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] my thanks to vince vaughn, Patton Oswalt and Nate Bargatze. And, of course, the roots from philadelphia, pennsylvania. Stay tuned for late night with seth myers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] . . Announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight christian slater, star of quantico, actress priyanka chopra, from hacksaw ridge, actor luke bracey, featuring the 8g band with hannah welton. . . [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] seth good evening, everybody im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] well isnt that fantastic to hear . In that case, lets get to the news. Tonight was game 7 of the world series between the chicago cubs and the cleveland indians. Now we taped this show before the game, so we dont know the outcome, but if you live in one
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