And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 549 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon . . . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, everybody welcome welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Thank you very much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it. You made it. [ cheers and applause ] you guys are the show. What a crowd. Hot new york city crowd. Welcome, everybody. Heres what people are talking about. This is very interesting. I heard that yesterday, ivanka trump bumped into Rosie Odonnell at a restaurant here in new york. [ light laughter ] she said, im sorry hes so obsessed with you. And ivanka was like, yeah, im used to it. [ laughter ] listen to this. Two more playboy videos were uncovered where donald trump makes a cameo. In any other election, a a candidate appearing in three pornos would end their campaign, th got . [ laughter and applause ] two more adult films were uncovered that featured an appearance by trump. When asked why it took so long to find them, reporters were like, we couldnt find anyone willing to Google Donald trump porno. [ laughter and applause ] you do it. I dont want to do it. I have kids. You do it. Almost cant unsee that stuff. While speaking at a rally in nevada, yesterday, trump pointed out that a lot of yeah. But i think trump might have gotten a little confused when he was pointing that out. Listen to what he said. We love nevada. Nevada. Nevahda. And you know what i said . You know what i said . I said, when i came out here i said, nobody says it the other way. It has to be nevahda. [ applause ] jimmy id never get it wrong. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i guess its like that old saying, you say potato, i say wrong. [ laughter and applause ] trump also talked about his running mate, mike pences performance at the v. P. Debate this week. Of course, trump never has been known to exaggerate. But it seems like he might be id argue that mike had the single most decisive victory in the history of Vice President ial debates. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, but winning the Vice President debate is like winning a 2 scratchoff. [ laughter ] its cool, i guess, but it doesnt change anything. [ applause ] i guess im a winner . I dont know. Give me another one. Donald trumps former accountant is speaking out about trumps 1995 tax returns. Here he is givhi the story on inside edition. Take a look. How involved was donald trump in preparing his taxes . Or did he just hand everything over to you . No, i did all the tax preparation. He never saw the product until it was presented to him for signature. Really, this was your idea . Right, im the one who did all the work. [ light laughter ] jimmy that must have been a a stressful job, because that guy is actually 36 years old. [ laughter and applause ] years young. Steve yeah. 36 years young. Jimmy this week, the White House Press secretary was asked about reports of creepy clowns popping up across the nation. I dont like this story at all. [ light laughter ] creepy clowns are popping up across the nation. He said that he wasnt sure if president obama had been briefed on the situation. While joe biden hasnt slept in five weeks. [ laughter and applause ] you hear a horn . Thats a red nose giant shoe prints. [ laughter ] i read that a growing number of Senior Citizens are signing up to drive for uber. Yeah. Personally, i think its a great idea. In fact, just to show my support, im going to request a a senior uber right now. See if someone picks up. There he is, yeah. Milton. [ light laughter ] hes going around at Columbus Circle he missed the turn there. But its all right. Going to go around just go down. Hes gonna go up that. Yep. [ laughter ] oh, he missed the turn again. He just keeps hes going in circles. I wish i could call. Ill check in steve hell be here. Jimmy ill check in with him later. I dont know. Hell make it. Hell get here eventually. Some celebrity news, here. I saw that Susan Sarandon just turned 70. [ cheers ] yeah. She says her tips for staying young are to laugh and have sex. Then her kids were like, geez, mom, just blow out the candles. [ laughter and applause ] speaking of 70yearolds, let check on my driver on uber. Milton. Milton, where are you, buddy . Hes in the grand canyon. [ laughter ] what the heck . Milton. Cancel. [ applause ] this is the stupidest thing. Cancel. I cant even cancel. Four stars [ light laughter ] i showed milton. Steve you showed him. Jimmy i showed him. I showed him whats what. This is kind of crazy, you guys. A Southwest Airlines flight in kentucky had to be evacuated on the runway yesterday after someones Samsung Galaxy phone started smoking in the cabin. Even the guy eating a tuna fish sandwich with his shoes off was like, come on, you cant bring [ laughter and applause ] thats rude [ light laughter ] this is pretty controversial, here. A new dad in utah is claiming that the hospital billed him an extra 40 for holding his baby right after he was delivered. Thats why my dad said, i just stayed around the bar around the corner. [ laughter and applause ] he didnt say that. I screwed that joke up anyway. Yeah. What was the joke . What was the punchline . Yeah, thats it right there. The baby was delivered and then my dad said, thats why i just stayed at the bar around the corner. Yeah. [ laughter and applause ] . . [ laughter ] thats funny. Yeah. Thats funny. [ laughter ] that gets a three air horn. Steve that joke gets four stars. Jimmy let me just try it one more time. [ light laughter ] i think this times going to work. Steve this time its gonna work. Jimmy here we go. [ cheers and applause ] steve you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it. Jimmy oh, my gosh. This is a pretty controversial. [ laughter ] steve what happened . Jimmy a new dad in utah is cl him an extra 40 for holding his baby right after he was delivered. 40. Steve oh, my gosh. Jimmy then my dad said, thats why i just stayed at the bar around the corner. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] . . Steve winner [ cheers and applause ] joining this season of the voice as advisors. [ cheers ] so far, the only advice theyve given is, dont eat the brownies in mileys dressing room. [ laughter and applause ] there you go. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] . . . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much, we had a great week so far. Theres more ahead. Tomorrow night, our pal, tyler perry will be here, ladies and gentlemen. We love him. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy plus, Abigail Spencer and van morrison will be here tomorrow night. Steve come on. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy also, thank you notes. But we have an unbelievable show tonight. This guy is the best. Hes talented, hilarious, hardworking. His new movie, the accountant, is in theaters next friday. Ben affleck is here steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy love that guy. On, we always have fun. Bens going to tell us all about his new movie, the accountant. Then he and i are going to do some acting together in a bit called kid theater. Its gonna be good. Plus, she just won the emmy for her amazing portrayal of marcia clark in the people v. O. J. Simpson American Crime story. Shes unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] i want to give her more awards. Just for that. Steve shes brilliant. Jimmy but shes great in everything shes in. She now stars in the new film blue jay and the new season of American Horror story. Sarah paulson is dropping by [ cheers and applause ] Sarah Paulson is dropping by. Steve come on. Thats it, right . Thats the whole show. Jimmy thats it. You dont need anymore show. Steve yeah. Jimmy but we have more show. Steve what . Jimmy we have music from one of the coolest, best, loudest, awesomest bands on earth. Green day is here steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] come on wow. Jimmy love those dudes. Green day. Guys, it is time for [ cheers and applause ] . Hashtags hashtags . Jimmy there we go. Are you guys on twitter . Anyone using twitter out there . [ cheers and applause ] we use twitter on our show every single week, so if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i will send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. So since the Vice President ial debate was earlier this week, and things got pretty heated, i went on twitter and started a a hashtag called mydumbargument. Out a funny, weird, or stupid argument that youve had. We got thousand of tweets. Within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u. S. , so thank you for those tweets. [ cheers and applause ] theyre good. So right now, i thought id share some of my favorite mydumbargument tweets from you guys. Here wo go. This first ones from kristenrose124. She says, one time my parents got into a fight because my dad tried to convince my mom that his leg cramp was as painful as childbirth. [ laughter and applause ] not going to win that one, dude. Jimmy this ones from georgecherries. He said, once i got into a a fight with my grandmother, because she thought that beyonce was a type of beer. [ laughter ] steve it should be. Jimmy this ones from 1rsmadunicorn. [ light laughter ] steve uhoh. Uhoh. Jimmy he says, my friends definition of a boy band is any band that consists of boys. She tried to convince me that metallica is one too. [ laughter and applause ] no, thats not true. I guess so. No. Theyre not a boy band. She says, caught in a traffic jam. Yelled at a guy, you have a a nice day he yelled back, no, i wont have a nice day [ laughter ] well, thank you. Well, no, thank you [ light laughter ] good day to you, sir. [ slap ] the old steve the old switcheroo. This ones from philborgenicht . Borgenicht . Someone know how to pronounce that . [ light laughter ] steve borgenicht . Jimmy his names in, like, reverse. Its backwards. Borgenicht. Steve borgenicht. Borgenicht. [ speaking backwards ] [ laughter ] [ speaking backwards ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy put my game down flip it and reverse it. [ speaking backwards ] . . Jimmy my names phil borgenicht. [ cheers and applause ] phil borgenicht. Steve borgenicht. Jimmy borgenicht. Steve borgenicht. Jimmy borgenicht. He says, my friend and i once fought over whether mr. Monopoly and the pringles guy were brothers. [ laughter ] oh, well thats they look related. Steve could be. This ones from bigtoastytoast. Steve yeah toasted jimmy he says, i won an argument that purple would taste better than blue based on the fact that red probably tastes great. [ laughter and applause ] steve he won that argument . Jimmy i dont know. Steve he won that one . With who . Himself . [ light laughter ] jimmy wow, that was a good one. This last ones from bphil7. He says, my friend once insisted that the beach boys song barbara ann was really called bo and applause ] there you have it. Those are tonight show hashtags. To check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow. Com hashtags. Stick around. Well be right back with ben affleck [ cheers and applause ] were going to prove just how wet and sticky your current gel antiperspirant is. How degree dry spray is different. Degree dry spray. Degree. It wont let you down. . . . . . . One smart choice leads to the next. . . Of a wellmade choice. . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we are joined right now by a bigtime movie star and multiple Academy Awardwinning writer and film maker. He stars alongside the accountant, which is in theaters next friday. Please welcome back to our show, ben affleck [ cheers and applause ] . . Always good to see you, pal. . . Always a pleasure to be here. Jimmy looking sharp, buddy. Looking sharp. Thank you very much. Jimmy thank you for coming back to the show. Just trying to show respect for the show. Jimmy were going to do a a bit later in the show called kids theater and i thought it was kind of fun to show something a clip of you as a a kid because you were an actor as a child. I was. I did do some child acting. I wasnt like the child actor, who, you know, luckily, i didnt end up on the show and get famous and go on crack and go crazy. [ laughter ] yu know what i mean . Jimmy you actually had a a childhood. I had a normal childhood, and my mother let me go do this voyage of the mimi. It was for kids. You know, educational, kind of. Jimmy voyge of the mimi. Youre laughing, but its not a joke. [ laughter ] jimmy its very available on youtube. Yeah. You can find it. Jimmy you can find it, yeah. The voyage of the mimi. Combining science and math topics with an interesting adventure. The young man [ light laughter ] jimmy youre really selling it hard, yeah. I still feel like i have to pitch it. Jimmy but you were traveling with a fisherman or something . Whats the deal . Hes your best friend . No, hes my grandpa. Jimmy i thought it was like sling blade. You meet up like a a deranged [ laughter ] it was sling blade on a a boat. Jimmy he meets up with a a little kid and it becomes youre my best friend. [ laughter ] you start cruising around together, you and the fisherman. It was awesome. Yeah. It was a lot of fun. Jimmy i want to show a clip here of a young ben affleck. On the voyage of the mimi. I forget what episode this was. Anyhow, remember what ramon said about whales ancestors living on the land . Well, you know, i found that kind of hard to believe, so i came here to see what i could i wanted evidence, and i figured, if i could find it anywhere, it would be at the Natural History section of the smithsonian. . . [ vocalizing ] that was before i had testicles. [ laughter ] jimmy wait, you didnt have them yet. They were not you could [ laughter ] i used to wonder why i id get all mad at the operator they would say, sorry, maam. Jimmy i love the hard [ boston accent ] it was really hahd to find [ light laughter ] it was hahd to see jimmy it was hahd to see that whale. A whale was going really fah. [ laughter ] jimmy but look at you now, man. Your just crushing it. I know youre doing Justice League and the batman and this is the accountant. This is the accountant, yeah. Jimmy this is what an interesting movie. I had no idea where this was going or what this was about. I go, how is he going to make this movie about an accountant . And yet it turned out to be entertaining. It sounds like the most boring movie you could ever possibly find. Jimmy i thought it was you were just gonna crunch numbers. I go, okay, i mean dude, hes like an actionpacked. I mean, this is its fun. Thats why i wanted to do it. I read it. I totally thought i could see it coming and its got all these surprises and a lot of twists and turns and it changes sort of genres. A little bit of a thriller and an action movie. Kind of a drama and, yeah, i really like it. Jimmy but also you you have aspergers in the film so its a very interesting character to play. Really its tough to play both roles. Yeah, that was actually something where i kind of felt like i had to do some research, you know what i mean . I ended up meeting with a lot of people who were on the spectrum and experts and reading stuff and just getting a lot of stories and anecdotes and people, they were really actually psyched that i was making well call it an autistic superhero movie so it was completely awesome. It wasreally inspiring. Jimmy i want to show a a scene here. Is there anything else you want to set that up . Well i have this like this is when she comes into jimmy all those bad guys. Theyre were being chased, me and anna kendrick, whos awesome in the movie, and i have this, like, secret trailer, basically, where i where he keeps all his stuff if he needs to run away at a a moments notice. Jimmy his rv. His rv, yeah. Jimmy yeah, im obsessed with the air stream, ive been talking about it forever. I want to do an rv its awesome. I bought the airstream that i thats in this movie because i love it so much. Jimmy i love that thing too. You can come over any time. [ laughter ] its my i love it. Jimmy do you travel around with it . No i dont travel i use it as a trailer for when i do a a movie. And i dont yeah, i go in that. Jimmy its on wheels. You can travel with it. The guys hitch it up and drive it right to the next location. Its amazing. Jimmy fantastic. I totally want to hang with you. [ laughter ] now he wants to hang out with me. Jimmy no, i do. I always want to hang out with you. You know who else . Will smith also is into rvs. Really . Jimmy and hes been talking about going on vacation with me for years. [ laughter ] has he really . Havent gotten around to it. Jimmy not really. Not really. Hes very busy. Yeah. Hes in a lot of movies. Jimmy yeah but me, you, and will smith, well bring the families, go and get in an rv. Family but just my three kids in that rv is a whole lot. Jimmy i got two. In the airstream, it feels like nine. Its like dog years. Jimmy do you have dogs or pets . I have two dogs also, yeah. Jimmy bring them along too. I love this idea. Jimmy this is fun. Is the band coming . Jimmy yes, the roots are invited. They can all come. [ cheers and applause ] we can fit them all in there. I would love it. Jimmy this scene is not the rv scene. Its not. Jimmy no. This is the scene [ laughter ] youre going to have to go to theaters for that. Saving her life. Oh, this is the action scene. Thats right. Im used to because we promote it in the daytime, they cant show action clips. Jimmy oh, we can show action. But the night time jimmy oh, please. We can show action. Were all about action. [ cheers and applause ] this show this show is in 3d. I can tell. People at home. Look coming at you jimmy theyre freaking out. Whoa freaking out. They pay big money for this stuff. This is a vr, brandnew, state of the art show. Jimmy yeah, you seem totally real. [ laughter ] youre not here. You understand . Im the curve tv. Jimmy yes, exactly. Youre the curve tv. Youre the virtual reality. Youre not even here. Okay, but this clip is. These bad guys break into and theyre going to try to kill anna kendrick, and she just knows you as the accountant. Boy, does she see the other side [ laughter ] of the accountant. Heres ben affleck. Check it out. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats what im talking about the accountant [ cheers ] thats what im talking about. Its going to be big. Are you ready to read some movie scenes written by children . Im psyched. Yeah, i have experience doing that. Jimmy yeah. Ben affleck and i are acting out some kid theater after the break. Stick around, everybody. . . You should masterpass that, now. Hey dude. Xxxl she wants her fruit chews. Masterpassed. Because i masterpass. . . You never believed in fairytales. Knights in shining armor or happily ever after. But you believed when the right one came along, youd be ready. Alright, did you know i was the mommy slam dunk champion . Really . Yes, really dont sound so surprised. Lets see it oh youre ready. Right. I go to the left. Fake em out. Mama go up, up, up she did it. Again . You cant avoid gravity. But unitedhealthcare can help you avoid financial surprises by helping you compare costs and doctor quality ratings. Unitedhealthcare uhhuh get to kohls thursday through monday because friends and family like you take an extra 20 percent off. Ets kohls cash too youve worked hard. Retirements within reach, but congressman blum wants to raise the retirement age to 70. Blum weve got to raise the retirement age. Blum would make it harder, voting to cut Social Security and privatize medicare. Blum would even deny Social Security to seniors until theyre 70. Im Monica Vernon, and i approve this message, earned Social Security and medicare. Weve got to protect it. . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy were hanging out right here with ben affleck, everyone. His new movie [ cheers and applause ] the accountant is in theaters now, ive seen the movie. Its great, youre fantastic in it. It got me thinking, i want to test you out a little bit, you know, i want to see what you got. Okay. Jimmy so i was thinking maybe we could perform a few scenes from the accountant right now. Does that sound cool . That sounds great. Jimmy alright, good. Perfect. [ cheers and applause ] but heres the catch. The scenes youll be reading are not from the actual movie. They were all written by Elementary School kids. [ light laughter ] and we gave them no direction, just the title the accountant. And let them do the rest. It is time for kid theater. . Kid theater kid theater . Jimmy all right. Here we go. All right. Jimmy this first one first one is from christine. Shes 9 years old. Ben, youll be playing the role of little boy, and ill be playing the role of little girl. I can do that. [ laughter ] Jimmy Higgins will read the descriptions for us. Thanks, higgins. Whenever youre ready. Steve a little girl and a a little boy are talking on the a bench. Steve bench. [ laughter ] he had one job. Jimmy you had one job. Steve one thing. He told me one thing. Jimmy youve gotta set the scene. You set the scene, little girl and a boy are talking on a a beach. Thats not true. Totally changes the plot. Jimmy totally different movie. [ talking over each other ] steve exactly. Its the accountant. Jimmy havent you seen the steve yeah, youre right. I messed it up. My bad. [ laughter ] its on a bench. Its on a bench. Jimmy okay. All right. Steve a little a little girl and a little boy are talking on a bench. [ light laughter ] jimmy what do you want to be when you grow up . Either an astronaut or an accountant. [ laughter ] jimmy how will you decide . Well, i really want to wear an astronaut helmet, but i also want to use a calculator. [ laughter ] jimmy thats a tough decision. I know. Jimmy wait, i got it. Got what . Jimmy you should be an accountant who wears an astronaut helmet. Seriously . Up and becomes an astronaut accountant and the little boy grows up and becomes an accountant astronaut. They bump into each other on the moon. [ light laughter ] jimmy whoa whoa [ applause ] steve they laugh for a long time. [ laughter ] jimmy i love you. I love you too. [ laughter ] jimmy and scene. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy it could have been on a beach. Steve would have been better. Jimmy yeah. The sequel, theyre on a beach. [ light laughter ] this next one was sent in by steven. He is 8 years old. For this one, ill play the role of boy, and youll play the role of dad. Great. Jimmy higgins, could you set the scene, please. Steve yes. A boy walks into his dads office. The dad is writing things on a a computer for work. [ light laughter ] . . Jimmy i know. Do you want to play baseball . No. [ laughter ] jimmy what about basketball . No. [ laughter ] jimmy what about soccer . No. Jimmy are there any other sports . No. Jimmy well, what are you working on . The stock market. [ laughter ] jimmy good. I love you. Yeah, you too. See you at home for dinner. [ laughter ] steve the boy is about to leave and then the dad stops him. Wait, kevin, one more thing. Can i have a hug . [ laughter ] jimmy no. [ laughter ] just kidding. Yes. Steve the boy and the dad hug for five seconds. They count the numbers out together one, two, three three four steve all right. Save it for the airstream. Come on. Jimmy and scene. [ cheers and applause ] five seconds. All right. Do one more. Were going to do one more. This one was sent in cant get this anywhere else. Just on this show, folks. Thats it. Jimmy this one was sent in by chris. Ill be playing the role of roger. Higgins, set the scene, please. Steve two accountants sit at a dinner table. . . I love numbers so much. [ light laughter ] jimmy me too. I went your voice youre an older kid. Jimmy yeah, older. Rogers a little bit older. [ laughter ] me too. On the count of three, lets say our favorite numbers. [ light laughter ] awesome. Jimmy one, two, three. Jimmy whats so great about 41 . Do you want to fight me . [ laughter ] jimmy yes. Right now. Steve steve and roger stand up, and put up their fists. Jimmy wait. What are we doing . Were accountants. We promised to never fight other accountants. [ laughter and applause ] of course. The accountants oath. Their hands to the heart and say the oath together. [ laughter ] together we, the great accountants of america, promise to never fight other accountants. And most importantly, all numbers are the best. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy 41 isnt so bad, steve. Neither is eight. Lets do the special accountant handshake. Uh oh. [ laughter ] all right. Jimmy all right. Thats special. [ laughter ] jimmy thats special. I love being an accountant. Jimmy i love being your friend. [ audience aws ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats acting thats my man ben affleck check out the accountant in theaters october 14th. Well be right back with Sarah Paulson [ chee a . . What is that . Man, i dont know. Ask google . . . . . . . . . . . . A 526 pound barrel of tennessee whiskey. These people can do everything else. . . This is lynchburg, tennessee. The home of jack daniels. foot steps this is lynch . . Rg, tennessee. crickets chirping . . jet engine . . heart beat n drops engine revving tires on wet road . . Lease the exhilarating 2017 lincoln mkz for 349 a month only at your lincoln dealer. . . . Thats fun. . . Its already dry no wait time. This is great. Its very soft. Can i keep it . laughter all the care of dove. Now in a dry antiperspirant spray. Awarded best of beauty by allure. tic tac rattling thump, thump, thump, thump crash crumbling . . Tic tac freshmints. A whole lot of flavor in a little mint. Vernon im Monica Vernon, and i approve this message. Congressman blums Smear Campaign misleading and false. The truth Monica Vernon donated every pay raise to charity and helped build a homeless shelter for women and children, but multimillionaire blum promised hed take only half his salary. Then in congress, blum broke his word and kept all the pay. Now he wants to cut Social Security and raise the retirement age. Congressman blums out for himself, not us. How tall are you . How do we measure greatness in america . The height of our skyscrapers . The size of our Bank Accounts . No. Its measured by what we do for our children. The values we pass on. Ive spent my life fighting for kids and families and it will be my mission to build a country where our children can rise as high as their dreams and hard work take them. Not debt. And an economy where every Young American can find a job that lets them start a family of their own. We face big challenges, but we can solve them the same way families do. Working together. Respecting one another. And never giving up. I want our success to be measured by theirs. Im Hillary Clinton and i approve this message. . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is an Emmy Award Winning actress starring in the new film blue jay, which opens in select theaters tomorrow and worldwide october 11th on itunes and other digital on demand platforms. You can also see her in the new season of American Horror on fx. Heres the very lovely, the very talented Sarah Paulson [ cheers and applause ] . . . . Jimmy oh, very nice. A little air guitar jam. Yeah, and there was not even an air guitar happening. Jimmy no, not at all. But i like to bring it in always. Jimmy yeah, why not . Bring an air guitar. A little accompaniment. Yeah. Jimmy you look gorgeous. Thank you for coming to the show. Thank you for having me. Jimmy i am a giant fan, as everyone is out here. Congrats. [ cheers and applause ] were gonna talk about your film, blue jay, i want to talk about American Horror story, but we have to talk about the people v. O. J. Man, oh man. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy and made me see marcia clark in a whole new way. Yeah, i think everybody felt that way, which was great for marcia. Jimmy yeah she deserved it. Jimmy you took her to the emmys, which i thought i did. Jimmy which was super cool. My boobs, like, hanging out in that picture. [ laughter ] jimmy sorry about that. I apologize. Thats why youre showing it. Jimmy no, im not showing it i swear. Look at this picture of marcia and sarah. And some boob. Jimmy ooh. Wow. Whoo yeah, but now i cant even look at the photo. But you i thought it was classy and cool and i just loved your speech, and it was just great. Thank you. Jimmy and i dont know if you could feel it but everyone was like, just please say Sarah Paulson. Oh, my god. No one felt that way more than i did. I was really hoping they were going to say it. Jimmy really . Well, just because i wanted an opportunity to stand there and say what i said to marcia on behalf of america, i think, to just say, were sorry for getting it so wrong. Jimmy yeah, gosh. It was a surreal experience, the whole thing, though, let me tell you. Jimmy right . Just like having her there, going up there, they hand you the emmy, brian cranstons name is on. Jimmy yeah, thats a cool thing. Yeah, its super cool. You walk back there and someones, like, hi, im going to need that. And i was like, what . My emmy . And theyre like, yeah, yeah, thats a prop. Jimmy its a fake one, yeah. Yeah, and i was like jimmy you didnt really win an emmy. You didnt really win it, yeah. And i ended up having a dream two nights later that Kerry Washington actually won. Jimmy yeah. And i did not win and they were like, were going to need that award back. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, exactly. And i would wake up in the middle of the night and look over at my desk where i keep it right in the line of sight and there it was. It was very nice. Jimmy i was even thinking r acting with that wig and the mole. Oh, the mole was the hardest part. Jimmy right . Yeah. Jimmy no, that would have drove me i was like, also, you should have seen what it was like to try to put that thing on in the morning if the trailer was shaking. They had a tiny little box with like 18 different moles, and then someone would take a a tweezer and theyd be like, please nobody move nobody move youd be like, oh, damn. Jimmy we got to do it again. Yeah. It was great. Jimmy it was just anyways, i thought it was fantastic. Thank you. Jimmy lets talk about American Horror story. Yeah. Jimmy you say theres a a twist coming up that is going have used is nutty bobo nut town. Jimmy whoa yeah. Jimmy thats serious. Wow. No one says that. No one ever says that. Jimmy no. Thats how and i dont know why. Nutty bobo nut town nutty bobo nutterton mcnutterton mcnutterson. Jimmy a collect phone call from nutty mcnutterson. I will accept. You will. Jimmy i will accept. cause you know jimmy i want to my mind would be youll know its me. Jimmy yeah, ill know its you and i want my mind to be bent in two so i can understand whats going to happen. Something really, really i mean, im not trying to overse oversell it because theres an enormous thing that comes that changes everything and then Something Else happens later too. Its really [ laughter ] jimmy youre going to have to come out for i cant tell anybody jimmy for the second one. Yeah, and then ill talk to you about that one. Jimmy alright, good, good, good. Lets talk about blue jay now. Yeah. Jimmy cause this is a cool idea and i go i see these movies and i go, i wish i had thought of that idea and just wrote that. Yeah. Jimmy cause i think everyones its about these high school sweethearts. Yeah, high school sweethearts, who just jimmy that just see each other yeah, after years and years, 20 years, i think. Jimmy yeah, its not a jimmy they actually see each other. [ laughter ] yeah, we actually see each other in person. Jimmy you actually see each other in person. And its really awkward at first and then we kind of have a beautiful 24 hours together where we revisit what went wrong and what was right and then we dont know what happens. Its a nutty bobo nut town. Jimmy no, thats not. No its not nutty bobo nut town no, no. Jimmy but i want to show a a clip. Its beautiful. Heres Sarah Paulson in blue jay. Take a look at this. Right. Stretch it out. Are you kidding me . Are you kidding . Could we please get on with the rub. Ive waited a very long time for this. You cant rush greatness, okay . Take it easy, alright . If you want to experience the ancient art of phrenology, you really need to wait and get it done right. Come again . Well, if you had seen men at work, the classic Charlie SheenEmilio Estevez film from 1990, you would know. Its when you, you know, feel and interpret someones skull features and you kind of see whats going on in there. So i get up in here, and i say, see that knot right there . That says youre a terrible youre [ bleep ] shut up. Jimmy there you go. Come on. Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that is a come on. Yeah. Jimmy we just love you. We love you on here and everything. Also, i hate putting people on the spot and i oh, but youre going to. Jimmy yeah, i am. But no, in a good way, though. I heard that you know the words to shoop. By saltnpepa. Youre not going to make me do that. Jimmy please, no, its just that heres the deal. We do have a microphone, here. Oh, my god [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and the roots can play it. Oh, my god. Jimmy just, come on. Jimmy wait, do you do this at karaoke . What do you do . Yeah, no. . Youre packed and youre stacked especially in the back brother . . Wanna thank your mother for a butt like that can i get some fries with that . . Shake shake boobie if looks could kill you would be an uzi youre a shotgun . . Bang whats up with that thang i wanna know how does it hang straight up . . Wait up hold up mista lova my friends say youre a sexy motha . . Well i like em real wild bboy style by the mile smooth black skin with smile bright as the sun . Come and give me some of that yumyum chocolate chip honey dip . . Can i get a scoop baby take a ride in my coupe you make me wanna shoop shoop ba doop . Jimmy thats what im talking about right there [ cheers and applause ] come on Sarah Paulson, everybody [ cheers and applause ] . . Well be right back with music from green day. Stick around, everybody. Initiating retrieval sequence. Target acquired. Dang it ah come on astronauts can vote from space. Take a break from the election with red or blue tea. This is me, using a wrench to build a jet engine. Well we thought ge programmed machines to talk. Ge is an Industrial Company that actually builds worldchanging machines. Machines that can talk to each other digitally. Hello . They dont talk to each other like that, ricky. Shhhh, youll anger it. Vo hey, evan. So, youre stuck at a work thing. With directv and at t you can stream all your favorite shows without using your data. That makes you more powerful than a table for 60. Businessman wednesdays are the new thursdays or the mandatory after party. Evan how early is too early to leave . Vo youre not going anywhere. Evan im not going anywhere. Its your tv, take it with you. Watch all your live channels, on your devices, data free. . . [ male announcer ] cats will do anything for the irresistible taste of temptations treats. What are you doing . Oh, here, check this out. . . I think my strongest asset, maybe by far, is my temperament. Id like to punch him in the face, ill tell you. I would bomb the [bleep] out of em. I could stand in the middle of 5th avenue and shoot somebody and you can tell them to go [bleep] themselves. Get him out of here get him out of here get the hell out of here priorities usa action is responsible . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guests are fi and rock and roll hall of fame inductees whose new album revolution radio is out now. Performing bang bang, give it up for green day [ cheers and applause ] . . . . . I get my kicks and i want to start a rager i want to dance like im on the video . . I got a fever for the violent behavior im sweating bullets like a modern romeo . . Bang bang give me fame shoot me up to entertain i am a semiautomatic . . Lonely boy youre dead im wellfed give me death . . Or give me daddys little psycho and mommys Little Soldier . . . . I testify like a lullaby broadcasting live and its on my radio . . I got my photo bomb i got my vietnam i love a lie just like anybody else . . Bang bang give me fame shoot me up to entertain i am a semiautomatic . . Lonely boy youre dead im wellfed give me death or . . Give me broadcasting from my room and playing with my toys i want to be a . . Celebriar the leading man in my own private drama hurrah bang bang . . Hurrah bang bang the hero of the hour daddys little psycho and mommys Little Soldier . . . . . . I want to be like the soldiers on the screen its my private holy war oh baby baby . . This is viva vendetta for this is love or its world war zero . . . . . . I want to be a celebrity martyr the leading man in my own private drama . . Hurrah bang bang hurrah bang bang the hero of the hour daddys little psycho . . And mommys Little Soldier i want to be a celebrity martyr the leading man . . In my own private drama hurrah bang bang hurrah bang bang the hero of the hour . . Daddys little psycho and [ cheers and applause ] jimmy come on come on thank you, oh come on oh, oh, oh and you get a car, and you get a car, and you get a car revolution radio, green day [ cheers ] catch them on tour in the u. S. Now. Well be right back oh, gosh, thats how you do it youve worked hard. Retirements within reach, but congressman blum wants to raise the retirement age to 70. Blum weve got to raise the retirement age. Blum would make it harder, voting to cut Social Security and privatize medicare. Blum would even deny Social Security to seniors until theyre 70. Im Monica Vernon, and i approve this message, earned Social Security and medicare. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to ben affleck, Sarah Paulson, green day, once again [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night i hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] . . Announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight ashton kutcher, mlb Network Analysts kevin millar and sean casey, cartoonist chris eliopoulios, featuring the 8g band with stanton moore. . . Ladies and genemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening, everybody. Im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] that is wonderful to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. The second president ial debate will take place this weekend, and not as hillary requested, now. Now lets do it right now [ laughter ] the second president ial debate is this weekend in st. Louis,