Today on the Meredith Vieira show, we are talking whats hot now, a couple connecting on instagram, then married each other within seconds of meeting each other. Is their hash tag happily ever after. Gay, straight, jesse reveals why love shouldnt have a label. And hollywood couples Devon Franklin and meagan good open up why they waited to have sex until their wedding night. Could you . And a 14yearold beating the odds. His story will inspire you. Hes a gift. There is not one day, not one it all starts right now on meredith [cheers and applause] feeling real good meredith hi everybody. Welcome we have a great show today. Film producer and good friend of our show Devon Franklin is here with his wife actress meagan good. They have a new book out called the wait they say holds the keys to a healthy and long lasting relationship. You are going to want to hear this but first lets talk about whats hot now [ applause ] okay. We absolutely love Devon Franklin on this show. He has been on quite a few times last season. He and his wife meagan good are here to talk about the wait can help a relationship. By that i mean no sex until you even though they had sex in previous relationships they both decided to stay celibate until marriage even before they met they were celibate. Well talk about how they say they helped their relationship but i wonder with you guys, could you wait until marriage . Looking at these four pathetic faces,. Remember i told you, i didnt lose my virginity until i was 27 years old. I did wait and holding out but things got rough. 27 no more at one point last year with you we were doing this topic in some way shape or form and you took him on. Have you take changed your mind . Him and his wife, megan is so gorgeous and men, if you waited and got a woman like that, all of yall would be tying yawls self down number one but theyre a beautiful couple. A beautiful example for me. Im at a place where i have been dealing with a lot of bums. Meredith why do you keep dealing with bums. Im not getting fulfilled. You give yourself to a man because you give them your body because you think thats your most valuable thing. And you are not connecting with his soul and researching this guy because everything is physical. I like this idea of waiting and really getting to know someone because a lost times we let men in our soul and spirit that dont need to be there. A lot of demons you let in here because youre not waiting. You can get to know someone without having to sign a contract of marriage. Marriage is not a joke. When you sign a contract, i mean its not romantic at all. Its a piece of paper that you divide everything, okay. So why do you. Why do you have to wait to get married . You can find out about someone, take a long time, you know, to sign that contract. People cant wait to have sex i guess. I think its irresponsible not to figure out everything sign that contract. Find out if your compatible. Physically compatible. It is very irresponsible. Thats making sex a focal point. Its making sex. You are making it a bad thing. Sex is such an amazing and great thing that you should do it with someone who deserves to have sex with you, not just anybody out there on the street. Thats what im. Why do you have to have a piece of pay p per . Yall married now, im not. Okay. Marriage is all over here. This is what im doing. I am getting there slowly. Let me ask a question. Here we g. Here she comes. What you are telling us are you waiting now is today the day you are waiting . I asked them to pray for me because its tough. Its really tough. I have an apartment by myself sized bed that, you know, needs about it. Im not saying that im perfect, but i absolutely appreciate and i value what they have shown because theyre a great example. I love people who are great example of what they preach. And i love. Im so confused. This question yet. So i get that theyre waiting to have intercourse, okay but lots of things happen before intercourse. Nothing below the waist . Nothing below the waist. Nothing. Thats an extreme. But they dont want to initiative that because its. If you go there, you are going to round the base. Meredith theyre not trying to go right to the edge and then move back. They know its hard. Anyway. Theyre going to be on. [ applause ] how long should you wait to marry someone after you meet . For one couple who randomly connected on instagram, the answer was seconds after they actually met in person. Why would you lie to you . Im not lying to you. And because this is 2016, a news crew was there to document the whole thing, of course. Take a look. Nice to meet you. Oh my gosh. Hi. Im erica. Dont drop me. Nice to meet you. Artie pops the question. Weird. Meredith wait, the couple quietly exchanged vows right in that airport. Theyre legally married. They had known each other over instagram for a year but that person. You are going thats weird. Instagram is not real. What you project on instagram, most of those people 80, 90 its all beautiful and rainbows. It makes my life look amazing sometimes. How is it any different from online dating. They havent talked. all talking at once they met on instagram and communicated via text and cell phone. You dont know how instagram works number one. They met and havent physically even each other. Meredith would you marry someone like that . I got engaged nine months to the day after meeting my husband. People thought that was really fast and that was eight and a half years ago. Meredith you were physically together. People will always judge. People will say you need to be dating x amount of dates before you get engaged. There is no science. If they want to be married and other. Irresponsible until you figure out is this the person for me. I need to physically know if im into you. But if theyre about to enter a contract, this is a contract you make it sound so. But thats what it is. Thats what we all fought for because we needed a contract for taxes and all that kind of stuff. It you make it sound like a business. It is a bbs. There is a difference between getting married for your lord, for your god. Thats completely different and a marriage contract. Completely different all talking at once w2 but when you have sex. all talking at once it wasnt a contract. It didnt say all that stuff in it, did it . You signed a license to get married. It has nothing to do with romance or anything like that. Your romance is your own thing. Your marriage, your wedding. Meredith you are making it sound transactional. Im confused. People need to understand it is a business. Its a partnership. Meredith you cien it because you have to buy law. I bet there are a lot of people that got married without before the lord. People need to understand joke. When you get into something, you are stuck with these people. She didnt know if he could carry her weight and she jumped right on him. I wouldnt do that. Those are the things you need to find out before you get into a marriage. [ applause ] meredith if my daughter lilly did that i would haul her out of there and lock her up. If she got over 30 you would be pushing her out there on him. Thats what my mother does. Get out there on him. Meredith empire star is on the march cover of out magazine although he is a gay man he doesnt rule out the possibility of falling in love with a woman down the road. He says i would hope that anyone with leave themselves open not to gender but to love. Acceptable for women to beby bisexual. Thats sexist. People are very polyam russ as i love everyone but i think this is kind of like on the down low, if he went with men and then went back to women, i dont know. It happens all the time. He is obviously an incredibly attractive man. Im not single but if i met somebody and they were we were in love, is it better he was with 200 women . What makes one worse than the other. Would you be with someone if they had been with a man before . If i knew him as a gay man and i think if i knew him as a gay man i would probably rule him out but if i met him just as a man and we fell in love and loved each other and that was part of his past, would i accept it because. You. Cant help who you fall in love with. These millenials really are fluid. To be cool and say theyre fluid but theyre open to anything. Say jesse is 65 years old, been a gay man his entire life and sex is out of the equation for him and he falls in love with his best girlfriend and they want to spend the rest of their lives together as partners. Thats companionship or friendship. So thats how i think they think of it. That kind of stuff happens all the time. Do you know how many gay men are married to me . Im every gay mans best friend. On a more serious note, people are gay say this is not a choice because would i not have chose then lifestyle. Its too difficult. This is the way i was born. If you can go back and forth like that, is he saying i can choose to be gay or i can choose to be straight. I think he is saying he cant choose who he is going to fall in love with the rest of his life. He says he identifies as a gay man but maybe in his lifetime he might fall in love with a girl because he cant choose hat. Of women if they are bi than men. At least we are talking about it. More whats hot after this. [ applause ] coming up, why one mom says you cant have it all unless youre Kim Kardashian. And later how do people really feel about signing choose the one new revlon ultimateallinone. Our revolutionary mascara delivers 5 lashtransforming volume, length, definition, lift, and intense color. Choose love new revlon ultimateallinone mascara. brian im brian. I was in the military for 18 years. But i smoked. And i got heart disease. My tip is, its hard to serve your country when youre too weak to put on your uniform. announcer you can quit. For free help, [ applause ] hot now. For the women in the audience, please clap if you feel pressure in terms of juggling career and family. [ applause ] its not easy and a recent New York Post editorial a mother with three kids says they cant think they can, its a big lie. She compares herself to Kim Kardashian who bounced back after giving birds but here is a photo of kim four months after giving birth to her daughter. She looks great. Do you relate to. Not necessarily to the Kim Kardashian hangup but in general to her point about feeling that frustration that he is somehow not good enough. First have you to realize Kim Kardashian has a team of people helping her. There is a difference here. [ applause ] but i think, i would applaud Kim Kardashian if she posted herself a picture saying shes exhausted because being a parent and a mom is so difficult. I looked like tales of the crypt. I was so tired answering the door in my bra. Didnt know which way was up f. She was a little more real she would have a lot more empathy. You know her real. Thats her brand. I was at her house last week and i can tell you shes tired and home. She is a normal, normal mom but have you to respect that is her brand and she feels that, maybe i dont know if this is the case that she cant put that step forward or she might lose something. I think these moms, dont compare yourself to anybody else but yourself you are going bounce back how fast you are going bounce back. [ applause ] men dont go through this at all. They dont feel this. They dont manifest stress in the same way. Women get anxious. You are the backstop in the game. When the ball comes, we are the last one to have to find it and get it. Dads dont really have to do hat. I think there is a flip side. My friends are just starting to have their first babies and i think women like Kim Kardashian and these new moms, they kind of inspired my girlfriends to say hey, i just had a baby but i can like workout and get fit and they look so good and theyre like young hot moms. Some of my friends are taking inspiration from those women as about themselves. Thats the way you should look at it. And they have husbands which is a full time job and you know, this is their first baby and a lot of them live away from home so their parents are not there to provide child care. Sometimes its not realistic for women, you know, its because sometimes their uterus is falling out and everything. I done never had a baby, i dont know how it works. Meredith where do you get your information . I hear from her. My uterus did not fall out. Its right here. I can understand being a mom and having that pressure, you know, to keep up with, you should just be able to have the child and not worry about whether you are going to be a successful business woman or just a stay at home mom or whatever you are going to do. Enjoy having that baby. Meredith just bond with your baby. Be so grateful you have that blessing, you know. [ applause ] i do them every day. [ applause ] coming up, how much cash would you spend on your kids bash . Why some parents are spending big on their little ones. And later, hes a movie producer. Shes an actress, Devon Franklin and meagan good open up on racism my Psoriatic Arthritis caused joint pain. Just like my moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis. And i was worried about joint damage. My doctor saidr joint pain from ra can be a sign of existingt joint damage that could only get worse. He prescribed enbrel to help relieve pain and help stop further damage. Enbrel may lower your ability to fight infections. Serious, sometimes fatal, events including infections, tuberculosis, lymphoma, other cancers, nervous system and Blood Disorders and allergic reactions have occurred. Tell your doctor if youve been someplace where fungal infections are common, or if youre prone to infections, have cuts or sores, treated for heart failure, or if you have persistent fever, bruising, bleeding, or paleness. Dont start enbrel if you have an infection like the flu. Joint pain and damage. Can go side by side. Ask how enbrel can help relieve joint pain and help stop joint damage. Enbrel, the number one rheumatologistprescribed the oscars. Answers to your most Urgent Medical questions and how to protect you and your family plus from the hit show, debby is here tomorrow on the Meredith Vieira show. Meredith i do not [ applause ] hot. Now we were talking Kim Kardashian. Used to be the prenup agreements were only for the rich and famous. We all knew when tom cruise and katie holmes split. Cruise was worth an estimated 250 million and his prenup provided nothing for her, just the support for the little girl. 60 of people would be happy to sign a prenup, only 20 said they would find it insulting. What do you think . Would you do it . Do have you one . I do. Youre rich. That at all. I just think its responsible. I feel like a bitter. When you enter a contract like marriage is, i know, i know. You have to be responsible. This is the time to really think it out when you are in this blissful mood because when it goes south and over half the marriages do end, it is going to relieve a lot of pressure for you when it is all put in paper. This is what we get. Its just the responsible thing to do. Its so not remantic. You have taken all the romance out of it. You are hedging your bets, we call this like the big short. You are hedging your marriage is not going to work out. Its being responsible. You dont have one, right . We got nothing, so. I mean. I dont know. I guess my shoes, if he month knows where to get me. You never know what you are going to end up halving. You could win the lottery. Could you get an amazing job that makes you millions. Can you do post nup. If someone came to you now. Thats a lot harder. Like said i want a post nup. Frying pans would come out. Not for that. When we got married there, wasnt heard of. If someone said dominiquely marry you, i have lots of money prenup. I would hope he would be 89 years old and on his way out, okay . Okay. I am a romantic guy, okay. I am a romantic guy. Thats ironic because you are probably the most romantic person on this panel and very giving and very sweet. Im a realistic guy. I understand what a contract is. I want to switch gears. When i was a little kid my Birthday Party consist ted of dinner with my family and i got chocolate case with vanilla icing. But now days these parties clap if you agree, have gotten so out [ applause ] according to this new survey, the average cost of a Birthday Party for a child between the ages of 410 is 455. And how many kids are even going to remember . Theyre not. Its just nuts. Because its for the parents. Its fot for the kids at this point. Theyre trying to keep up with the joneses and look cool in front of the other parents. I blame pintrist because all of these moms are going on there and seeing these elaborate themes and trying to recreate it. Give them a cake, give them a pinata if you are mexican like me and call it a day. We have joint parties to defray the cost. You get a little wine for the adults, juice for the kids and and now you know the number three. Kids parties are outrageous and. I think 455 honestly because we are in new york city. I know people who swent thousands. 455 is on the cheap side. I mean. 600 for a kids party. They want to rent a real horse, try to pretend its a unicorn. They have elves and stuff going o. Its a whole mess. But it is for the parents. I had a very traditional birthday. We used to get strawberry short cakes on my birthday and my grandmother would take me to the dollar store and say get two things. Thats not bad when you are a little kid. And i loved it, yeah it was cheap but i loveed it. Would you do the same with your kids . No, i would spend thousands of dollars. On that note we well be right coming up, hes a movie producer, shes an actress, Devon Franklin and meagan good open up on the oscars and a teeb who beat the odds and found his true calling. The first time i was like oh my gosh, im on the internet. Dont miss his inspi hi dad uh huh, okay yeah. Sorry about that. What do you think . Hi ted, glad you could join us, re going to like these numbers. [cheers and applause] our next guests say they have found the secret to a lasting marriage. Are you ready for this . Dont have sex before your wedding night. Oh well. I guess im out. They have written a book called why the wait is worth it. Please welcome meagan good and movie producer Devon Franklin. Before we start on the book, which is so interesting. And im not surprised because you have been on the show in the past and talked about celibacy. Im not surprised you guys wrote this, i want to talk to you first about the potential boycott of the oscars. You know will smith very well, back to the pursuit of happiness. You worked on that together. He and his wife have been very vocal about boycotting the oscars because they feel there is racism in hollywood and it should be dealt with. People should stand up. You worked within the industry. A Senior Vice President of columbia pictures. I figured you would be the right one to know if indeed racism is alive and well in hollywood and if so how bad is it . I wish i could report that it wasnt and i wish that could i report that hollywood is color blind. I did a piece in the reporter a week ago and said it shouldnt be oscar so white. It would be hollywood so white. At the studio system, the Agency System and management system, all of the higher ranks, there is no diefortd. We have to have systems in place not only for recruitment for retention incubation. There have been times when i was mistaken for a bathroom attendant. And if i didnt have people that were higher than me that mentored me like elizabeth cannestell, if i didnt have people at the top who saw potential in me i would never have made it. It is solvable but requires a longterm solution and requires finances to help fund. Meredith do you think boycotting the oscars would go a long way to initiating that solution. People dont make change until theyre forced to. An idea of boycotting the oscars and bringing attention to this, i hope it wont just stop at a boycott. That there will be enough public really long lasting change in hollywood because it has to happen. Meredith i agree with you but its so interesting because when you saw the sag awards, there were so many people of color who were nominated and won. Right but thats peer to peer. And the academy is not necessarily peer to peer and there are a lot of, you know, members that are older and its not very diverse at all. So when you look at the nominees and how it works, it doesnt necessarily reflect the diversity of the academy where sag tends to be a little more diverse in its ranks and also because its peer to peer, there tends to be a desire to make sure that we are nominated. Meredith megan, you have been in 30 plus films. People say this woman does not experience racism. She works a lot but have you . Absolutely. There are at least three times that come to mind right now where i was told flat out, you know, that i couldnt have the lead because i was black. Where they said you were great. We love you, we would love to give you the lead but this movie is going overseas and you guys to give you the best friend part. Meredith you people meaning people of color. By the grace of god in the last two or three years i think there has been a major shift in diversity for tv and ive been able to be a part of that shift so thats amazing but the fact that its just now something that is happening, im thankful for it but, you know, its interesting because its just now happening where there is a conversation about so much diversity last year and more people different nationalities this year it shouldnt have to be a conversation. But im glad that it is. Meredith at least its that. It has been going on for a long time, i want to talk about this book because its about your decision as a couple to remain celibate before marriage. I think there are probably some people in the awed sense going thats nuts. You want to test drive the vehicle, you know, to get a sense what have is going on. [ applause ] and im very comfortable with my decision as you are, to have sex husband. Differently about it y. Do you think that sex before marriage is a huge mistake . Because you felt this for a long time not just when you met megan. I had been practicing this since my early 20s because i really believed that when the sex was on the table, it was clouding my judgment. It was clouding my ability to get to know the person. Meredith how . Because you are focusing on how was it . Was it good and that focus is not really what is going to make a longterm relationship. What i wanted to do was do i like her heart. Do i like where she is going . Am i into what she is about . And when i took sex off the table, meredith, i got so much clarity on people i was dating and as a man. I was thinking wait, i cant manipulate her for my physical needs. I have to be honest with her about my intentions and that clarity and honesty laid a foundation for discipline and success in the just in my personal life but every area of my life. Meredith did you find it easy after a point. It does get easier. Its hard but it gets easier. Listen, i did it for 10 years, about year five you just get used to what is going on. But the reality is what when we got together, we got together, you know, a year before we got married and it was probably. Meredith you mean as a couple. As a couple, yes, we began to date a year before we got married and that was probably hardest during my 10 years. Meredith because you knew you wanted to. It was the person i wanted to be with. Meredith you were celibate when you got together. What used to you make that decision . I was tired of maybing the same decision before. I was tired of being in relationships that the would last two and three years and not really knowing who the person was to the degree that it took me years to learn them. There were things that i think a lot of women and men settle for things in relationships because they kind of make excuses because theyre so physically so codependent on that person in that relationship, i need that person instefd being able to really see hot person is and i was just tired of wasting years granted there were good times, Lessons Learned but at the end of the day i felt like i was running in circles and it was time do Something Different. The second i did Something Different the way i learned him in the first few months was more than i knew someone i had been with for almost four years. Meredith you attribute that to not having a sex um component to the relationship. The sex was icing on the cake after we got married. Meredith what if it had been disaster. I believe you can teach anybody anything. [ applause ] our connection and we love each other. Meredith you knew the connection was there. You have a foundation of trust and you can be vulnerable and when it comes to sex being in that environment we can learn each other and what feels good and what is right and having the nowndation of marriage. When you talk about the wait, it is not just about having sex, it pertains to all parts of your life. The value of delayed gratification in this idea that there is power in patience and whenever we choose instantly the wrong decision and when you practice the delayed gratification and you have an ability to wait, what happens is in every other area of your life you have the same patience. So for me, when we are talking about being in hollywood, so much of my wait happened when i was an executive in hollywood and that gave me a patience about the whole process there. Were things i wanted in my career in the moment but it took years for the things to manifest and because i was practicing patience personally it helped me professionally. Meredith for so many people they stop having sex once they get married. Of. [laughter] just kidding. Devon, meagan thank you very much. Thank you congratulations on the book. Well be right back. Coming up, a 14 yeerl who is beating the odds. Welcome back to anothery disition. His story will inspire you. He is a gift