Believe you definitely learn from the tough times you gain resilience if you're lucky. It's where I've learned the most you know about the solution when things don't go as expected. So not going to need to look right. What am I not seeing how . Can I make this different for me make this better for me for the people because when it's easy you don't you don't try and change anything you don't grow right I read that use study with Dr Drew as author of The 4 Agreements How did that come about. This is back in 94 a former. College was studying with him when he was in his I know the timing works out and small good teaching. Single she had met him a couple years before the study and when he visited her and you know why are. The marking was important. And I had I had left a relationship that was drama left a career I was burned out in both kind of like the solution right there these places I was. In some fulfillment and happiness and I was trying to figure it out and. The runner up that was there was. A small window of opportunity because hardly anybody was studying and. I actually just heard about him and I took that book out of the library to read. For doing this book international bestseller is that other books. Like the books of knowledge I prefer more. Go back and read through the. Really incredible wise man. To have spent a lot of time with. Magic. If you're just tuning in we're speaking with Gary van warmer gamma creator pathway to happiness dot com Now Gary you started as an engineer. I started as an engineer. From a well. Grounded in the world so how did you land to where you are now developing this pathway to happiness dot com. I was starting with remember. Actually start showing. Some of the work in small groups and. I saw a vision that I could do this full time I could teach I could share with people the stuff I have learned that helped me change my life. And I thought I would be a really wonderful thing. That was 20 years ago wow something very blessed to. Do any thoughts on the fact that right now 23 about to wrap 2019 and I mean I I'm aware that there's a lot of anxiety and depression especially among teens. Some of the technology phones and do you have any thoughts on where we are as far as the happiness level. You know I haven't been historically around for a 100 years I think there's different ways to look at it I think if you look at 100 years ago. Roughly the time of depression and poverty was much higher people were focused on just getting enough food and shelter so I think 500 years ago was worse so in the relative scale of things movement the Bigart we're much safer we're much healthier. And yet we are basic physical needs are met but in those hierarchy then you start noticing like Ok Right but how do I feel emotionally. You know Will. Then pencil What are you stressed about you know you've got everything you need to know that you have a roof over your head you have your food but. Now we're moving up in our attention is more like what are we feeling yes what are our emotional needs being met and so I think we have a lot of these emotions that we haven't had practice dealing with because we are in survival mode right now because we have extra time we have some freedom of our attention to focus on what do I want to do with my life I've got options I'm just not going to take over my dad's business and. You know there's this paradox of opportunity for some Pritam but also opportunity to not be sure what to do or how to do it and to be much more in touch with our motion and I think that's helpful this kind of the next evolution in consciousness. As humanity. Go through and say well now what do we do with all these emotions and how do we take care of ourselves emotionally now that we have the basic physical needs met so this is a relatively new opportunity culturally. I want to throw out your website pathway to happiness dot com and you have a lot of free material on online courses for teaching believe emotions in creating better relationships could you tell me a little bit about that. Fundamental issue. Couple issues that we don't know we didn't learn in school a what do we do with these and most. What do we do with these negative thoughts how do we deal with affectively and ideally change not just manage him and repress them so I don't want to feel that I. Can't think that me and we go make ourselves busy but that stuff still churning in the background those those things don't go away. So I developed a course that came out of my work with my clients and work with me on the phone and I had the I think get them to write Ok good progress during this week. 2 weeks between conversations on your own and so there was this process that grew organically right give them an exercise and come back in 2 weeks again what happened and I see the change has made us with given that never go do this for 2 weeks and it's a gratitude exercise a certain writing assignment to focus in a certain area to watch certain words with kind of mindfulness based but they're very practical and they came out of. Full teachings I got from ego in my own experience and so I began to see what would work and I tried the next client and after a time I built this whole up into a system where you do a certain set of exercises in a certain order and they're driving you have better control over tension or teaching you how to not believe to teach you how to find the policeman than the unconscious breeze so that you can solve those and take the emotion out and the charge out of and change your emotional reaction seem to be weaker so this was the course of course when I was teaching my clients. Over the phone that they can to run their own at their own pace and after a while repeating the same exercise because the system got very well tested. I got to make recordings the Internet was. Going out with m p 3 s. And I got to make recordings but I didn't have to say the same thing over and over it's great to just go do these things in this order things will change your you will see your mind differently your reactions will change remotes and for change you will know what to do with your emotions when they show up. And so it's it's been incredibly city what people have done with that course and how much their lives with change have exceeded my expectations of what was possible sounds incredibly rewarding it's very satisfying Yeah I like to get those emails back and I just finished her course I got this status lesson in this whole issue of mine that you know I see it in a whole different way. Yet the best most here back to me thing what are the what would you say the target age range would be for your course is it mostly corporate clients or individual adults. Marketed to individuals No I have posed in this teenagers and I ask people in their seventies. You know hey I'm with that and. You know I've been fighting my anxiety and depression for years and this makes sense finally this makes sense I know when I'm dealing with my mind. So. It's across the board so. It's fantastic anything else you'd like people to know about you. About me yes. I have no need to promote myself in the rest of the you know what people know about them so what are they doing with their emotions. It was a client of mine who said what don't you know but if you did know when you acted on it change your life for the better. Question and then start to open up our mind to like Ok I need to learn something new or new thing but if I learn it not apply it will make my life better most people are trying to opt for it within the realm of what they know. And their mind is only giving them information that they have from their past it's looking at things the same right it's approaching the problems in the same or trying to make the old strategies work. For change you have to go out into unfamiliar territory say I have to do something different. To do something therefore that I don't know the result I will get and therefore it's going to be some trial in there and that's going to be uncomfortable but if I think if I benefit from that. I can change my life and so there's this hurdle of you know what some comfortable so I would rather people. Not so much about me but let's I'm comfortable and what do you do about it that would make your life better right when you get on that other side of I'm comfortable. And when I like what you're saying is you're helping people build long term happiness for sometimes you know obviously happiness can be fleeting you know yet that promotion you get that new car you know that that's not long term happiness. That is the reaction of happiness that's the. Reward when you know that's what we learn in conditioning that goes in turn conscious belief system that says if I do something good I get the guy. You know impress somebody I'll get a good response then I'll feel good about myself and that's a reaction and we're trying to then please other people because enough for other people. To get that compliment get that attention get that affection and that's not that we have to do it again the next day again the next day become exhausted you know the kind of happiness I'm talking about is how do you feel when you're sitting at home alone and you're with your own thoughts. Exactly to get that kind of happiness in those what are your own thoughts and can you and that means moving through the emotions that are behind those thoughts and really the key to it all you have to get to the beliefs that are behind those thoughts what are and conscious we're not aware of what is the belief the high growth stocks and emotions that are rooted in their new address really starts to come back right well unfortunately we have to wrap up but I'd love to have you back on again . To be here all right thank you for having me Garry van Dam your your Web site is pathway to happiness dot com Thank you so much happy holidays. To all sort of everybody else I'm great thanks Don. If you missed any part of that my conversation with Gary will is going to be up on the show blog within an hour after I wrap you are listening to k.c.i. $80.00 f.m. In Irvine Thanks. Thanks. I've. All right we are back and standing by to join us is Kent Scoville going to talk about l.a. Connection comedy theater l.a. See and his upcoming New Year's Eve shows. All right we dislike him. We will stand by for one second and we will get him back on the line let's go back to the shelters and then I will bring him on right now. It. It. S. . It. All right we are back and here's can't Sco joining us. Good morning morning all right we got you get me so can tell me about the l.a. Connection comedy theater and your upcoming New Year's Eve show yeah well lead we've been around for 43 years before the 4 years next year and we've been doing New Year's Eve shows for about 25 years and they both sold out we do kind of like cruise liners anyway style improv comedy shows and I love that we do impressions we do take us to the dating game we do. Topical humor relationship him or you know personal here that people can relate to. And. We do shows 8 and 10 pm The pm goes about $930.00 mph or so stars and the best of it like it actually goes out to 10 and they go to about midnight for the countdown I would give everybody noisemakers knowledge sort of good stuff for The Late Show and I want to things we did before each show as we put our signature movie to having that we take a look clips and democratic comedy soundtracks Oh that's funny Yeah we actually did a show with Dick Park years ago and I did. Try to go to so he was a real together and he introduced us so we use that as a way to introduce the election every year since Dick Clark is iconic with New Year's Eve for so many years yes yes how did you get involved in comedy. Well I was always kind of the class clown and showing up. I played sports and I would always make all the other athletes or team laugh and do kind of weird stuff and it was kind of told you know you could do comedy in your high school I still didn't sports I did drama and drama teacher gave me distinction drama I thought you know what I get if I just take a class Yeah but he encouraged me says you know you're a funny guy and it's a very creative so what you see if you can make it you're you're living in your business so I joined a committee and Sam Cisco got into college and the committee was pretty well known at the 7 Cisco Rob Williams was there actually went to high school and college was Rob weigh ins and and then I would have been was the big guy Dr Johnny Fever I mean instead of Sam and so he was a big guy it was an equity are foreigners up on Broadway and just loved doing improv there and that Dacosta father they're all the right desk and work with some really really great people and that kind of got me going and I found a group in college. Called now caring which was a strange name helping out there and. Every time I would bet it's a stupid. Thing that we get we've found all over the city to for there to organization and. Events benefits. A place and accounting of the bellows stater and it just got to be good to get a little bit of a polling so I was in problems in my blood. And then when I came down to. Us Back in 1075 I joined a rock wait here group. And the improv there was. Quite well met and a good encourage made so that I'd formed a human comedy show I did at an unfunny l.a. Connection back and I did in 77 wow down a lot we thought about 50 people about that day and some of those were quite good to know what I would have quoted her as a comedian. You know all over. Those roles in my original letter is a collection and. It turned out to be quite good and would do the Repertory Theater about 75 people and of course today that Repertory Theater is about 160 I have a question for you because I have taken classes at the Groundlings and you see for people that are listening what does it take to become part of improv like what kind of skill set you know because it's totally different Groundlings and you see. Yeah you should use more long form the Grammys a little bit more no priest gets comedy we're pretty much talked about short form and long form but. They are paid for today. And I think it's a lot to get improv you know reaches into some people get into it. They just want to you know. I could try to figure out a fun night and to explore you know their inner self and don't worry whether you're funny or not just you know go out and play a suspect role play you know looking at different roles of characters and you know getting a little outside of yourself that you know I mean everything comedy comes from I just look at it like you know your Bible or your dictionary. Every I post all the knowledge that you have inside of you. Could be utilized and gone on for your propositional skill set or whatever stain that you know there's your your history your background that you can draw on right and you know I curse people you know not actors to do it I've had. A public relations people I talk to your department have to get out and be more open and. Be able to communicate better with people so it public speaking yes and so can be used for a lot of purposes some people use it for writing like I have a lot of writers. I mean how do you know how to Miss made oh yes yes yes now she came out of the application and. She was actually writing a spec and back itis is nice maybe early ninety's. And she had a rose and I actually liked it and she stepped in and kind of she wanted to go more goals things like that so her case in effect cratered Pritchard writer put up her mind but as for straight writing. Oh yeah and losing a little bit yeah you know some people use it as a tool stepping stone to get on Saturday Night Live you know well I am out of here Tori Jackson. Some writers Melanie Grammer What did you ever said. So some use it you know as a professional skill set to writing skills. To help their stead of. Something so they're Let me ask you thing till in the beginning of the year you offering classes to people that perhaps are listening thinking I'd like to do that . We have classes all year round people can go into Level one without an audition if they want to addition for me I have 5 dates every month and so it's like asking for a chair backstage and then we had to ship people use them Saturday 3 Saturdays a month one Sunday I will and usually a Wednesday night and they can set a date to go but I want to have it all improv and they did really well that you know and maybe a little too a little bit of what levels are bookies and everyone from once a month better day 7 level 4 which is based on Sundays performance once a Sunday 8 and I usually do about a good hour show about 10 games and usually people about 6 rehearsals it was a bit about it was performing the play. The lines in a box or sing a different game so that when you go up they're played at least experience playing it once said it got it and then usually what our records will host the show we let them do some posting but we have to look at the postings but this is them just playing the games that we're about sounds a lot and then. They do a show once a month and then we also do outside things we've done all the inputs laparoscopic up of the know back as well so occasionally do shows over there and then I. Come over an hour so we did our 1st show down there and I'm going to start doing a relation with them as well so our performers will bite. At a couple shows a month when there are rookie levels one at the theater one outside Ok and I did the same thing for 7 years in the Comedy Store in the main room because I wanted them to get experience as not only to perform here at the theater but to perform outside the theater and we do that every summer with camps we book about usually about 50 camps every summer so we do some other theater and some on location we do birthday parties we do have a verse really January for each and every 3 have an official 40th birthday party for a fine young woman who we did her 38th birthday so we do that for every every 10 years we saw out. So he can what's your why web site for people that connection comedy dot com Ok and they can also just look at belly connection comedy in Burbank because directly call me and the number will be there and. You know they can send it to audition or they can just sign up for Level one and take the classes for a month and see if they like it also kids ages 5 about 12 performing every Sunday at 330 actually Josh Groban the country singer came out of our kids group years ago yeah and then we had teenagers as well on Saturdays and they made it re and they do a show every week 530 so both our kids enter teenagers do shows weekly So we're not just limited to. Doubles we also get after kids program here at one of the elementary schools Roosevelt elementary school in Burbank they come after school they used to serve 4th year doing after school with them that's great and so we do all sorts of things we do corporate gigs we had a t.v. Series for years called mad that he's with a connection that took old movies and kept it with me company soundtracks. That read on m.t.v. For 3 years and a good night for a couple years and syndicated for a couple years and then we did a show on a back in 93 Bayard in 94 it was nominated for a cable is the word I'm a special skill like an Emmy excellent Well yeah I just want to mention your New Year's. Showed people not already committed for their plans New Year's Eve It's Thursday December 31st at the l.a. Connection comedy theater 3435 West Magnolia Boulevard Burbank and you can purchase tickets or make reservations 8 win 874868 but I put the information on my show blog which is get the funk out show dot caves. So we have to wrap up give your website one more time if you like an action comedy dot com Ok. All right you can always call me directly. I don't have a thing on December 9th so that would put me on the side of a building. Like Matthew Perry. But I know we have. Actually met. Bill that's right I miss him but I think 3. Fantastic Well thank you so much and Happy Holidays and I love to come to a show some time well you call me up any time I'll give you a free pass. Thank you so much thank you headed back great having on thanks that was Kent's go calling in to talk about connection l.a. Connection Comedy Theatre l.a. See if you missed any part of this everything is up on my show blog in our conversation will be on there after I wrap get the funk out showed. Dot org take a little break and then I have a very special guest calling in Peter Konstam is joining me live to talk about his book a chance to live based on a memoir of Peter's father and their escape from Nazi persecution this is a really powerful story of struggle determination and survival we're also going to talk about his childhood friendship with Anne Frank and she was his babysitter and playmate and actually Peter is related to me so we're going to talk about that in just a little bit that's coming up. At 930 you are listening to k.c.i. 8.9 f.m. Interview on. The. Views expressed list of its management supporter free agents. All right we are back I'm Janine you are listening to k.c. I 88.9 f.m. In Irvine and standing by is my very special guest and actually this is a cousin of mine a distant cousin he his name is Peter Konstam and he's joining me live to talk about his book a chance to live which I had a chance to read and it was mindblowing it's based on a memoir written by Peter's father and their escape from Nazi persecution and it's a powerful story and my pleasure welcome Peter Konstam to the show Good morning Peter. How are you I'm wonderful I'm glad we could make this happen. Radio station for. My pleasure my pleasure so I got ahold of a copy of your book through my Aunt Jane who lives here in California and she had a chance to meet you and I read your book and I was just blown away I want to start with How did you get a copy of your dad's memoir. Of your father's name one how did you get a copy of this. It took me many. Of my dead. Money. And then we will living in New Jersey. To write a story. To Us possible. And. Back. The manuscript. How we got it. Got it. Action. To put it as you were reading this memoir Did you remember a lot of this or did you. Remember a lot of things. To translate a man a script. Me a while. As who's losing dictionaries. And. Translated. It. Used to write in a very. Very. To get me. What he meant. But I remember. This amazing. Remember. To credit. Memory. Sure. Ok so I want to set the listeners and because I put some information up on my show blog about you as a small boy Peter Konstam live with his parents in an apartment in Amsterdam during World War 2 by coincidence one of their neighbors was the Frank family including And Frank who became Peter's sometime babysitter in playmate when when the Nazis occupied Are you still there. I heard a funny sound when the Nazis occupied the Netherlands the Frank family went into hiding but the Konstanz decided to flee they made their way across Belgium and France crossing the Pyrenees to Spain in a year long journey filled with dangerous border crossings in the Iraqi scapes they spent the night sleeping under Bush's in trees and hiding in barns hotel. Ells or bordello and the homes of strangers from all walks of life both Christian and Jewish who took them in and helped them. When I say the name Gerda Leskie what comes to mind my pronouncing her name correctly by the way less. Than. Yes So tell the listeners what she did for you. The last one run we received the notice. Truly gentleman now she Ok patient which was sent to us. By ed by chiller Bennett station. To all of us on that street on the 1st set of those that were ordered to be present the railroad station. That night in June. There was a meeting. In our apartment. Between a doctor my grandmother and my parents. In addition. We had been we had just gone through a route. Which was something typical in those days. Those. Sort of breaking into the apartments. On the street to fight and now she's rich and I don't want to get too long but there was a little convoy in rolled down and they would break in than I to kill everybody which is what they did to Oh and they have us exactly next donate was the family of 8. And they were machine gunned on the 2nd visit and one little girl was left to live through but away. That's another story. We were luckier and they didn't kill us. Anything they took over the contents of their home. To come with them. In a way that is Germans. Took over the art and valuable furniture. And what have you in these apartments that family of 8 next door was left with one bed for aid. Just to give you an example of what was going on. And my mother slipped a little. Paper into my hand when there were Germans who were there. Breaking and. Pumping them something and yelling and kicking. With the butts of their weapons. And the paper folded paper in my hand. When I was standing in front of my parents next to my grandmother. Quietly and without trying to. Be noticed when Julie put the paper in my mouth. Unbelievable and how. Swallow that. Any part of the story you know that is good then I asked my grandmother one day left what would help her was a paper that was don't worry it will come out eventually. But now in addition to this it was a meeting no. Meeting I said was what do we what we were going to do. Not what the Frank. Had invited my father. To hide with the Franks in the annex. But nobody knew that to nobody knew he had anything place. That was before we also that. There was a video video secret. Thing and I think it was a video nice thing you know differing stated. To have asked my family my father the family to find with them. For his reasons my mother decided with the mother that was not. Going to do that. And. Could something that happen my mother called brother. Let's go to the list. The last German Catholic. Or Christian that's a better word I don't know if it were Catholics or they were Christian family. My mother Okupe Asian. They became really good friends my mother became very very close friends and I remember during to. Give patients the. What's the word says and one. Night we went to close of his and once that were. On the streets nobody owed the curfew they had a. Right yeah. Thank you so. My mother had many talents. Gregarious and charming. Linguist 11 languages. Really troubling person. That's one way that. Frank and my mother clashed on. So during. Patient time we Jews couldn't work anymore and had to request permits and the sudden death and paid to the city and to the government a lot of money and stand in lines for the food vouchers and so on. Which didn't help very much Anyway once you've got them. If you've got them. That. First thing that occurred that was she was working. On the money under the table for for the last gets who had one or 2 fashion stores. My mother loved fashion. Frank too. That was another connection so he was earning blood money. So the 1st thing she did when incidents happened she called her. Immediately without thinking said will come in on the hour or 2 hours or whatever it was to our store go through the back door so nobody will see you. And. We'll see what we can do now for the past year or so 2 years we were ready old Jewish people were already wearing the stars of David. So naturally the 1st thing that happened was to remove these. But when you removed them the left a little. Swatch on the on on the outer garment Yes stain Yes And so that we corrected and so. So. Then. To. Come up with a very very. Clever I remember reading. Well if you want to use the word clever plan. And the plan was my mother being action personal ready for good and left fashion she was to be the model of a make believe fashion show and yes to a mass traced. Which is south. Of me see the map south. West on the bird brought over Belgium actually in a very nice area during peacetime so. My father was a honest well. Then. The fight of documents. Which added. To it. It was going to be. Impersonating. You you were excuse me Peter you I when I was reading things about what you had to go through and pretend that you know gird it was your mother and your mother was not your mother or when you hidden in the outhouse you did things beyond your years. Well. I guess so I mean we didn't get any training on this when we were palm it was Ok on the broke down and something and kicking and hitting. And all of that my mother put the paper in my hand I mean we didn't go to school to to to to to practice does. You very mature for your. I mean my my mother told me a few times you don't this is not you mother you don't recognize or. Well. With one little only give away and train right I didn't. And then these other experiences it was just. I don't know people of asked me in the past. And my answer on known how I came to this was to fear your. Gods and spew a sion. Because I don't have another answer to that. And we knew I knew danger and we saw our lead daily. And don't forget it was an entire. People who were conditioned. Then the Netherlands was a them and then on and some it was friendly good nice people. Well the next things that happened to lead a Star of David that became a demeaning kind of serious act. Against. At any important group of society in the Netherlands and in Germany. As well as in the other countries where. Jews were. Instructed ordered to a Star of David. To suddenly the people being nice in the trams and on the streets and joking I'm playing and knowing your name suddenly now I'm so them in our neighborhood that old stopped. Demeaning. And another secret. Weapon was betrayal. Betrayal became a very important. Deadly weapon because not only did it do what betrayal is if we define it but it killed trust. And suddenly people have to be very careful. We didn't trust anybody in any place. And that included. Close relatives. Who would betray their own parents says that some brother was overwhelmed. Because even for example not to talk about it I will soon also. Grooved the joint. Now to youth groups. So. It's very difficult to explain. How we were. Trying to make it so cold. Normal quote unquote which was it was not any longer life. And a lot of this naturally oh so conditioned to block marketing right. So . You know we had some food and this and that I don't know that anybody in my family stood in line for days or weeks in the rain and the snow to get these chairs . And you should see what was happening in standing in line and. What I can tell you is standing in line in. My mother and I'm. Trying to see how we'd. Present. Me. To promise. Sometimes and which we do afterward is to stand in line. I just refuse to stand there. And. Up to what level. Do they want to do do what they should be doing. If they stand up to do it yes what. Right now. So Peter I'm going to end this here because the time Islam by and I'd like to and that invite you back on in January will figure out. The I now can you believe it because we're going to wrap up drop before 10 but this is only the beginning I want to have you back on again. Well. Thank you very much there is an interesting thing if I may add today. That started last week. Our really good close. In the division if I should say that way friends who listen to prom into what we used to live before we've played and I'm so them as China she's a historian who had worked for. Frank for many years before she. Became a history was it was a historian but then became a professor of history in the Hague teaching history and right on the road some books and just as we speak she published a book. Translated in English and a Frank was not alone. Meaning she wrote a book of the families that lived on motivate a plane that would be you to we have mentioned in the book. And this. Unfortunately the one thing I cannot. Talk to much about because I was a young kid I didn't know the name of those people I'm sorry my mother's and I live she she would I guess know the mole from most pawn and it's quite a book so I just let you know and I will say well known story I did say that when the Germans. Invaded. The next door. Polman of ours. My grandmother played bridge with the old lady. Almost every night especially didn't cause us my parents played bridge with a friend but they had to be very careful how they walked for. To prominence against the walls not being seen the guards were there. You know during curfew guarding that nobody was on the streets and no lights and this and that. Of the one girl that was left alive. In writing and researching for this book. And her. H. We believe. 6 years. Somebody . Has to. Base really. Big groups. This lady. Remember. You. See the plane so excuse me Peter unfortunately I have to wrap because there's another show coming up 10 but. The next for why we. Immigrated to the United States. So we're going to wrap up again pick this up again in January Peter's Web site is p.c.i. e t e r K o h n s t am dot com So Peter it's been wonderful talking to you again we will pick this up in January thank you so much for calling in anytime. I'll talk to you soon. All right that's a wrap and I'm Janine You've been listening to k.c.i. 88.9 f.m. In Irvine have a wonderful Monday everyone only back next week. Live