Harry, please lets have the bedroom done over absolutely not i see no reason whatever spending money decorating a room in which we spend all our time with our eyes closed. But we dont we see the room in the morning when were getting dressed. You may, but i have schooled myself to keeping my eyes closed while dressing. Why . Because i love you, and one look at you at that early hour of the morning would inevitably lead to divorce. If we can have the bedroom done over, ill even let you get away with that. Presumably you are unaware that the cost would be prohibitive. No, it wouldnt gracie says mr. Rockford is very reasonable. Gracie said it would be interesting to learn just what reasonable means to a person who was born without the ability to reason. Harry, insult me all you want, but not one word about gracie. Very well. Oh, shut up doorbell rings that must be mr. Rockford. Come in and harry, please have the courtesy to listen to what he says. [michael] good morning, mrs. Morton and this must be mr. Morton. A safe surmise. My wife rarely entertains other men at this hour. In fact, she rarely entertains me. laughs my husbands always kidding it was very nice of you to come by so early, mr. Rockford. Not at all im also planning to call on mrs. Burns, so it worked out quite conveniently. You see, i have an opportunity to buy a splendid collection of art treasures and antique furnishings for 15,000 dollars, but i must pay cash. Im hoping mrs. Burns will assist me by paying her bill now instead of later in the month. Oh, well, im sure she will. About our bedroom, my husband and i have been talking it over, and he feels i will handle the matter, blanche. I am Better Qualified than my wife to expedite business negotiations. Of course. Now, as i understand it, the expense involved will be approximately the same as the fee you are getting from mrs. Burns for having decorated her bedroom. Yes,s,hat is correct. 800 dollars. comedic orchestral music my blackberry cordial its on the table, harry. Were not going to have the bedroom redecorated. He didnt say that. No, but dont wait. He wont say anything for months. Hes in a state of shock. If you come back about onethirty or a quarter of two, ill have your check for you, im sure. It will certainly be appreciated. Mr. Burns was pleased with the way i redecorated your bedroom, i hope . Well, he seems crazy about it. Did he like the new oriental highboy i put in for his shirts and linens . Well, he hangs his shirts in the closet, and then he keeps his linens in a small chest. What i did to the drawers . I hadnt noticed that, either. I put in special brass knobs instead of the usual handles. It was nothing, really, nothing . Well, i cant wait to see his face when he sits down in them [michael] forgive me for asking for immediate payment of my bill, but ill never get another chance to buy an Art Collection at such a ridiculously low price. How much is it . Only 15,000 dollars 15,000 . Yes, and i may call for the check at onethirty, you said, or quarter of two . Oh, well, maybe youd better make it two or a quarter after. Very well, ill see you then mrs. Burns. Goodbye. Goodbye. 15,000 dollars just for redecorating our bedroom . How will i ever get george to sign a check for that . Whats the joke . George, ive been married to you all these years, so im sure youre going to Say Something funny laughs i dont have to, because i already got my laugh. Oh, good so sign this. What am i signing . They can talk about jack benny, and bob hope, and phil silvers, but when it comes to signing the name of george burns, no other comedian can do it as good as you can. What am i signing . An autograph. An autograph . Yes. Two of the cutest little children are downstairs, tommy and suzy, and they want your autograph. Tommy and suzy . How come they dont want yours . They all want celebrities. Have them come up. No. Why not . I couldnt do that. Why . Their little legs are too short, and the stairs come up to here. Well, all right. Ill ask them. Yeah, well, try. Tommy, suzy, would you like to come up . Mother, has dad got you doing it, too . Thats too bad. Their little legs are too short. And the stretch . Look, gracie, i know thats a check you want me to sign. Im not going to sign it until you tell me who its for. George burns, i just hope those little children never find out how mean you are. True. [gracie] lets talk out here. [harry] ok. I came right over as soon as i got your call. Kathy and i were just talking over something in private. Harry, this is ronnies girlfriend. Oh, hello hello. Ronnie, thats funny. I always thought the girl you went with was redheaded. Thanks ok. Joyce . Harry, i wouldnt have called you, but im in an awful spot. Thats all right, gracie. What are friends for if not to help . What is it, financial trouble . Mmhmm. I thought so. chuckles you spent a little too much money this month, huh . Ran a little short . Well, uncle harry can sure fix that. How much did you want . 15,000 dollars. 15 15,000 . How could you . 15,000 dollars . Yes, i owe it to somebody and i need it by two oclock. Could you write the check and have the bank cash it, please . Gracie, if i wrote a check for 15,000, the bank would send it right back. Wonderful, just so the money gets here by two oclock im out of trouble. Theyd send the check back. Thats even better ill have the money, give you back your check, gracie, ive only got 98 dollars in the bank. After giving me 15,000, youre lucky to have that much forget me and just think of this, gracie, if you want to borrow 15,000 dollars you have to go direct to the bank. All right, ill phone the man in charge. cheery orchestral music gracie, theyll want security. They might want to mortgage the house. All right, ill do it how do you happen to owe so much money . Its a long story, but it wouldnt have been that much if george had been satisfied to keep them on [mr. Adams] good afternoon [gracie] good afternoon. I am mr. Adams from the Loan Department at the bank of america. I have to look over your house before we can ok your loan. Well, come right in. Well start in with the dining room. I called your bank because youre very reliable. [mr. Adams] well, thank you every month so far. [mr. Adams] thank you. The dining room is in here. [ronnie] excuse us ronnie, who are all those people . How should i know . I just live here. Kathy, youre the sweetest, most adorable girl in the whole world. Have i said that already . You probably have, but not to me. Oh, kathy. [george] were all close enough to sing harmony. Ronnie, who was that check for that your mother wanted me to sign . I dont even know who shed owe all that money to. How much was it for . Dont you know . [george] no. I dont, either. Its nice of you to protect your mother. She always protects you. She didnt tell you about madeline, did she, tracy . My name is joyce. phone ringing phone ringing [voice] hello. May i speak with ronnie, please . Hes not home. Dad, if its for me, i am home. Youre not, and youd better keep it that way. Its just another one of dads jokes. He wants you to think its a girl. You sure you want her to hear this . Hello . [voice] hello, sweetheart. This is joyce. I cant talk now goodbye well, goodbye and good riddance, you tall casanova mary . Yeah, both kids went for it. Yeah, they went for the ribbon. Thanks a lot. Goodbye, mary. Mary . You see, kathy, ive been a straight man all my life, and when i pull a joke, i go all out. Its an actress i know. You really owe ronnie an apology. I am sorry, ronnie. Will you forgive me . Yes, kathy. Ronnie, isnt there something youd like to tell me . [ronnie] its 15,000 dollars fift 15,000 dollars . Come in, mr. Rockford [michael] hello, mr. Burns, thank you. Your wife said i might drop by this afternoon and pick up my check. Ive never heard of anybody charging 15,000 to do one bedroom. No, my bill was only for 800 dollars. Mrs. Burns must have misunderstood. I did say i needed 15,000 to buy an Art Collection. Thats where she got well, ill put the check in the mail tonight. Good, i can use it in the morning. Thank you very much, mr. Burns. [george] goodbye [michael] by the way, does your wife always get this confused . If she didnt i couldnt sign that check. Goodnight, mr. Burns. Goodnight. [mr. Adams] from what i see so far, the house is in excellent shape. The walls seem very solid. Yes. [george] gracie whos that . Its kathys father. Yes, thats kathys father. You see, when ronnie marries kathy he wants to be sure they have a nice house to live in. Its mr. Shaw, kathys father. Mr. Shaw . Hello, mr. Adams. Hello, mr. Burns nice to see you again. Hows everything at the Loan Department . Fine. Good. Im sorry but we wont have to have the house mortgaged. And, gracie, you dont have to worry about the interior decorator, ive taken care of it. [gracie] you have . I have. [gracie] youre wonderful thank you, dear goodbye, everybody [george] goodbye, mr. Adams. [gracie] goodbye [harry] goodbye, mr. Adams. If you need me again, just give me a call. I certainly will. Youll probably hear from me next week. You gave a fine performance. [mr. Adams] what . [george] nothing. Goodbye, mr. Adams. Goodbye. [george] goodbye. He was good. Gracie, was this harry von zells idea . Yes, george, i dont know what id do without him. Well, youll have to do without him, because hes not with us anymore. Harry its too late, george. Lets go in the kitchen, gracie, and well have a cup of coffee. Tell me how this whole thing started, and i want you to start at the beginning. All right. This morning, i went excuse us, well go out in the garden. Seems hes kind of stuck on her at that. Garden was busy, huh . The living room is nice, yes. New girl, he met her [gracie] last night [george] theyre a little busy. Back to the garden . Were you going to let me go right out . Am i really fired . [george] of course not, harry i was only kidding. Sit down, well all have some coffee. Gracies got a great story to tell. Start from the beginning. All right. This morning, i went upstairs, and i said, george, breakfast is ready, and you said, i was just on my way down, and i said, how did you like sleeping applause [gracie] thank you thank you very much. Gracie, which member of your family should we talk about this time . How about my cousin cecil b. Allen, the movie director . Cecil b. Allen. Sounds familiar. Who was he named after . His father, cecil a. Allen. They were named in alphabetical order . Yeah, cecil b. Had two sons named after him. I get it. Cecil c. And d. Allen. No, theyre identical twins, c. And c. Allen. C. And c. Allen. Who did he work for . So he started out as a top director for a major studio. What has he done . He made two pictures for them. Of course, he made them at the same time. He made two pictures at the same time . When he started directing it was his first picture, and when he got halfway through the studio decided it was also his last one. [george] last one . [gracie] yes. When he lost his job, what did he do . He didnt lose his job. They gave him another contract. They gave him another contract . Oh, sure. You see, the first contract only allowed him to make one picture a year for an outside studio. And this new contract . With that, he had to make all his pictures for outside studios. Did he make any outside pictures . Sure he made an epic that lost over six Million Dollars. Lost over six Million Dollars . The story was from a very bad book. Didnt he know that . No, he never reads the book. He always waits until the picture comes out. And then he sees it. Thats a very, very good idea. This kid sounds like a great director. The greatest yes, he was the first one to do a scene where a hundred roman slaves stood by while the heroine took a cottage cheese bath. Cottage cheese bath . Thats supposed to be a milk bath. Yes, i know, but cousin cecil made a little mistake and used cold milk. So . So the scene took a couple of hours to shoot, and all the time the heroine was shivering in the tub. Cottage cheese . Yep. What did the studio say about that . He got another contract. To make more pictures . Well, sure, and cottage cheese the kid is really moving now then he made a civil war epic. Another epic . He was loaded with epics i know, but this had a wonderful finish it was the end of the war, and general robert e. Lee was leading the victorious southern troops he had the south win the war . He didnt want the people to guess how the picture would come out. What . Asking him to make pictures on the outside wasnt far enough. He should have made them way outside. [gracie] he did he went on location and made a jungle epic. In africa . No, in a parking lot in glendale. Did that look like africa . It certainly did, except for the automobiles, but he explained those in the dialogue. How did he do that . In the middle of every scene, one of the natives would stop and say, what are automobiles doing in jungle . And the other one would answer, autos taking detour, freeway full of elephants. Say goodnight. [gracie] goodnight [george] goodnight applause ronnie, whats wrong with you this morning . Yeah, you hardly said a word to and from the airport. Im worried. I got something on my mind. [gracie] whats her name . [blanche] whats her name . Kathy shaw. audience laughs that pretty little girl you met last week . Whats the trouble . Im serious about kathy and id hoped she was about me, but now shes having dates with ralph. Oh, i thought he was your friend . Some friend. Last night when i called kathy, her father told me she was out to dinner with him. Ooh i could punch him right in the nose. Well youll never get kathy back that way. Why her father . If youre gonna punch anybody, punch ralph. audience laughs honey, he meant ralph. Oh, its his nose you want to punch. Yeah. See, i had a date with kathy and then she went out with ralph and broke it. Well, if she already broke it then ya have nothing to worry about. audience laughs cant we get this straightened out . Why should we do it . audience laughs you know, ronnie, when a girl isnt engaged she has a right to go out with other fellows. So if a fella wants to go steady with a girl, he has to put a ring on her finger. An Engagement Ring . [blanche] mmhmm. I havent got enough money to win one in a claw machine. Oh, well you dont have to buy one. Give her this. audience laughs your own Engagement Ring . The one dad gave you . Well i dont need it now. Why should a married woman be engaged . audience laughs thanks. Do you mind if i go over and give it to kathy right now . No. Thanks. Goodbye, mrs. Morton. [blanche] goodbye. But, gracie, what if george notices that your ring is missing . He might not like your giving it to somebody else. Oh, blanche, dont worry about that. A clever woman can always think of a clever explanation. Right, blanche . Right. Well sure. If george notices the ring is gone, oh no, gracie, i get involved between you and george too many times. Now you think of something yourself. Well, oh, what if i tell him its stuffy today so i took my ring off to let my finger get some fresh air . No. [gracie] now you see . I need you. When it comes to lying to a husband nobody can do it as good as you can. Well thank you, gracie, but i am not getting involved this [george] anybody home . Uh oh, im leaving. Gracie, where did the voice come from, the kitchen or the garden . The kitchen. The kitchen, mmhmm. audience laughs hello, blanche. audience laughs gracie, you tricked me. George, blanche has something to tell you. What is it, blanche . Harry left a message for you. He says to say goodbye. He told me that this morning. He must think a lot of me to say it twice. audience laughs blanche, now that youve had time to think, tell george what happened to my Engagement Ring. audience laughs your Engagement Ring . Its gone. What happened to it . Where is it . Oh, dont ask me. Whatever i say, youll think im lying. audience laughs but if you think blanche is lying it wont matter because she doesnt love ya like i do. audience laughs blanche. audience laughs audience laughs audience laughs its so simple, you wouldnt believe it. Well try me. If i like it ill use it on my television show. audience laughs may i get up now . Yeah. Well. Lets have it. Hurry up or ill put you back on my lap again. Well you see when i went to pick up gracie to go to the airport she was washing the dishes and the ring slipped off her finger and it went down the drain. I like it, i believe it, then ill use it. And now ill go call the plumber. No, no, wouldnt you like me to call the plumber for you . No, no, i can call the plumber. Im one of the greatest plumber callers in all of show business. audience laughs i shouldve gone on that plane with harry. audience laughs audience laughs a little surprised i believed blanches story . Well i gotta believe it. Thats the plot of our show this week. When the plumber gets here i hope he can find that ring. It wont be easy to replace that diamond. They just dont seem to be able to cut them that small anymore. audience laughs plumbers charge by the hour and theyre pretty expensive. He stays here over two or three hours, the plumber will cost me more than the ring did. audience laughs certainly brings back memories. The first day i met gracie i fell in love with her and that night i proposed to her but she wouldnt accept me. She hardly knew me. But she said, just so the evening wouldnt be a total loss, ill let ya kiss me and then well have a few dates and if i dont like ya ill give ya the kiss back. audience laughs well right there and then i knew i wanted gracie. If not for my wife, at least for my act. audience laughs then we went into vaudeville together. We played a Little Theater in jersey city and that morning we were engaged. Ill never forget how sweet gracie looked when i slipped the ring on her finger audience laughs the reason i gave her the payment book was so that if she lost the ring she could show people we were still engaged. audience laughs right after the matinee she gave me back the ring. She says a fine thing. Tell a girl you love her, in a couple of days you intend to brush her off. I asked her what she was talking about and she showed me an item in the newspaper that said, george burns and gracie allen are at the rivoli theater for a three day engagement. audience laughs i cleared that up and then gracie and i left for san francisco. She wanted me to meet her family and naturally they objected. But then when gracie said that she was determined to marry me, they sort of accepted me. And then her mother even said that we could move into their home. So i said, thank you, mrs. Allen, but will you have enough room . She says, oh yes, after my husband and i throw ourselves into the bay, youll have the whole house. Okay, kathy, bye. i. [ronnie] oh, mother, kathy just loved the ring. Oh good. Im on my way to the beauty shop, ronnie, but before i go, i thought we should have a little talk. About what . Well now that youre engaged and youll soon be married, there are certain things about life that you oughta know. So sit down. Okay. Now, where will we start . Oh. Well, there are two sexes and its natural that. That. You know, this isnt gonna be easy. I dont know where to begin. Start with the flowers. What about them . audience laughs well flowers are pollinated by bees. Oh. Oh . You see, as the bee goes from flower to flower, the pollen brushes off on his legs. And without him knowing it, he is the means by which flowers are crosspollinated. Oh. So thats it. Of course, of course, we have a better example of the mating instinct. Oh, ya know, ive always wondered about that. Well in many ways birds experience the same emotional feeling as a human. Some birds remain faithful to the same mate for life. You know thats very interesting. Of course, its argued that this is merely instinct. And that humans are the only creatures capable of experiencing real love. While love might have its origin in the natural impulses of persons, it also means warmth, tenderness, and mutual respect. Oh, thats wonderful. audience laughs you know, ronnie, i just cant wait to tell this to the girls at the beauty shop. Oh audience laughs hi, boss. Oh, hello, harry. What ya doin . Oh, waiting for a plumber. Gracie dropped her Engagement Ring down the sink. What, here . Yeah. Why do you need to call a man for that, george . Im very handy, i can fix that for you. Got a wrench in here . The plumber will be here in a minute. Leave it alone. Youre an announcer, not a plumber. Oh, george, now dont worry about ole harry. You know, the trouble with plumbers is that most of the money you spend on them goes down the drain. harry laughs maybe you are a plumber. Thats a bicycle pump. The other thing is a wrench. Oh, now youre kidding, george. Im trying to get a laugh here. Harry, please, im still trying to recover from the money going down the drain. Alright, ill have this pipe off of here before you can say jack robinson. [george] do you know anything about it really . [harry] everything. Im an expert. There, i got the pipe off already. Good, did you turn off the water . Oh, sure. First thing i did was turn this little valve here. That shuts off the water. Are you sure . [harry] sure. audience laughs which valve did ya turn . The wrong one. Shouldve turned this one right here. Oh, mr. Burns . Im mr. Jantzen, the plumber. Jantzen. Oh yes, ive been expectin ya. Come right in. Thank ya ver another doityourself victim, huh . We run across so many. Friend of mine trying to save me some money. Oh, i understand, but howd he get so wet . Well, that ill never understand. The whole thing is so simple. You see, i shut off these two valves here and i thought that cut off the water. Oh and i guess mr. Burns did this. audience laughs yeah, thats how he got wet. Alright, george. Look, dont ever ask me to help again when youre in trouble. audience laughs i believe you said your wife dropped her ring in here . Oh you know how women are. Oh yes, i remember. What . My wife was usually losing things but that was a long time ago. Oh, im sorry to hear that. Well so am i. Its very lonely. I have four children but its not the same thing as having a wife. Well im sure you can find another wife. Well thats not too easy. This isnt a romantic profession. When a woman is waiting for her plumbing to be fixed, shes usually not in a receptive mood. audience laughs yeah, well i could understand that. doorbell excuse me. Thats quite alright, sir. Hello, mr. Burns. Oh, hello, kathy. Is ronnie home . Yeah. Ronnie, kathy is down here. [ronnie] oh, great, come on up, kathy waiting for ya. Oh, has he told you the news . No. Were engaged engaged . Look at the beautiful ring he gave me. audience laughs congratulations, its lovely. The four of us will be very happy. I dont understand. But i do. cheerful music think ill go over there and. No, i got a better way to fix her wagon. You probably wonder what it is. Now if some shows had this suspense, theyd make you wait and tune in tomorrow. Not us. audience laughs [daughter] sometimes the hallways felt like a giant maze. [mother] jenny didnt feel like going to school, and she slept during the day and was up at night. She seemed irritable all the time. And the weight was really hard to hold up. [mother] one day my daughter was crying, thats when jenny told us she thought about hurting herself. [daughter] then my parents got me treatment. Oh, why of course, mr. Burns. Interrupt me as much as youd like. Were paid by the hour, you know. Oh yes. You were saying that youd like to get married . Oh i would. Yes i would. You see, plumbing just isnt a full life. Well i think i can help you. Theres a very pretty widow who lives next door. A widow, huh . Oh, theyre nice. Yes, nice. She saw you come in and thinks youre very attractive. Oh, she does . Yeah. Really . Widows are nice. Thinks youre a fine figure of a man. Well i do try to keep myself in shape, ya know, but its very difficult, ya know, its so cramped under there. Well this widow kinda goes for ya. Would ya like to meet her . Oh yes. Well yes indeed. Widows are nice. Yeah, theyre nice. Well ill go over and get her. I better comb my hair. Wait a minute, youre going under the sink to comb your hair . Well your pipes are very shiny. audience laughs [ronnie] hi, mother oh, hello, ronnie. Hello, kathy. [kathy] oh, hello, mrs. Burns. Oh, im so glad youre here. I brought you a present. Oh, what is it . Well itll help ya with your marriage. Its the audubon bird book. audience laughs oh, but you know, youre so young. Ya know, you better not read it until after the ceremony. audience laughs hello. Oh, there you are. Mr. Burns said you were pretty, but say, well thank you. I think youre pretty too. audience laughs i wish id worn my new coveralls. Oh, i think the ones youve got on are nice. You know, they look like theyve been lived in. Well now that weve met, would you mind very much if i ask you a very personal question . Oh, no, i enjoy personal questions. Especially if theyre about me. What do you think about marriage . Well, i think its wonderful. Its the kind of thing that holds a family together. Say, you have an original way of putting things. I like the way your mind ticks. Oh, no, its not my mind. Youve got your wristwatch too near your ear. audience laughs oh. Oh, say, were getting along fine. Fine. Yeah, fine. If you got married again, would you mind very much if the man you married had children . Women usually have them. audience laughs you dont understand. Oh, you dont understand. You see, i better buy a bird book for you too. Bird book . Oh, excuse me. Mother, can i speak to you for a minute . [gracie] oh, yes, dear. Thats my son. Oh, what a fine looking boy. Oh, im glad you have a son. I have four daughters and ive always wanted a man in the family. Oh, well then you shouldnt have had daughters. They grow up to be women. audience laughs what did you want to see me about, george . Why were you waiting outside for me . Well, its about gracies ring. You say you saw it go down the drain . Oh, yeah, i saw it slip off her finger. Well, theres a plumber at my house and hes got the sink apart and they charge about 10 an hour and if he doesnt find the ring, somebody else is going to pay the plumber. Oh . Would you excuse me a minute . blanche laughs well theres enough lovable comedians on television. So im a mean one. audience laughs jantzen gasps [jantzen] youre back. Yeah, heres this book on birds, but make sure you return it before the wedding. Before the wedding . You mean youre actually planning on a wedding . Well of course, what kind of a marriage would it be without one . Well thats true. Oh, at long last, my four daughters will have a mother. No mother . Oh, well maybe this book was wrong after all. I better take it back. audience laughs that water dripping on my head all these years, i dont think thats mumbling . audience laughs mr. Jantzen, has the widow been here . She just left. How do ya like her . Oh, shes so nice. But the conversation kept getting away from me. She went with it. Did you hold her hand . Oh no. Did you kiss her . Oh, i couldnt do that. Too much talk and not enough action. Oh, really . Next time ya see her, grab her and kiss her. Oh, i will, i will. mumbling oh, george, where have you been . Ive been looking all over for ya. There she is. Oh audience laughs oh stop that, stop that stop it . But you told me to take her in my arms and kiss her. gracie gasps george burns audience laughs oh, i know youre lazy, but getting somebody else to do that for ya is ridiculous. audience laughs and imagine that man trying to kiss me . Oh, mother, dad couldnt have set him up to it. Oh, yes he did. What else would he hire a plumber for . Theres nothing wrong with our sink. Look, gracie. Oh, you gigolohirer you. Look, the only reason i did that was to teach about the Engagement Ring going down the drain. I know where it is. Kathys wearing it. Oh, well, mrs. Burns, if this is your ring, why, i couldnt keep it. Here. I dont want it either. Oh, george burns, after hiring that plumber to kiss me, our engagement is off. The ring is mine . Yes. And i can do anything i want with it . Yes. Ronnie, for you. Thanks, dad kathy, would you wear my ring . Why, id love to. Will ya forgive me . Oh, george, after our son has just been engaged . Of course. audience laughs i told ya the four of us would be happy. Thank you very much. Gracie, any news from the family . Oh yes, i just got a letter from my cousin jenny. Shes come back from a world cruise. Oh, isnt this the fourth time shes taken a trip around the world . Yes, next year she says shed like to go somewhere else. audience laughs yeah, well she must have a lot of money to do that much traveling. Oh, jenny travels free. Oh, free, huh . Yeah, shes a hostess on a cruise ship. Ooh, a hostess. Uh huh. Its her job to organize activities and games and keep the passengers amused. Oh, i see, sort of a seagoing game warden . Yes, yes. Now on her last trip she organized things from morning until night, and even if you were having an awful time, jenny made sure you enjoyed every minute of it [george] every minute of it . [gracie] yes. [george] yeah. And what did jenny do to entertain the passengers . Oh, well in the evening shed gather them all around in the ships lounge yeah, sort of sit around jenny, yes . Yes, and shed tell fortunes and predict the future by looking into a crystal ball. But she had to stop that because it made the passengers too nervous. They got nervous . Why . Well, you see, the captain kept coming in and asking her to look into the crystal ball and find out where the ship was. audience laughs well, couldnt he read the compass . Oh, george, when youre lost at sea, youre in no mood for reading. audience laughs that captain sounds smart enough to be jennys husband. [gracie] well, thats what jenny thought too, but she still couldnt land him. Why not . Well, there was too much competition. You know, on a cruise like that there are always, oh, three times more women then there are men. Mmhmm. Thats how they lost the chief engineer. What happened . Well, he was taking a stroll around the deck and he fell into the ocean and cousin jenny saw him but she couldnt do anything about it. Well, couldnt she yell for help . Oh no. She knew if she yelled, man overboard that half the women in the ship would jump in after him. audience laughs well that figures. Oh, sure. In fact, she was lucky that they pulled her out. audience laughs so the shortage of men was really a problem, huh . Well, the women didnt mind how short they were, there just werent enough of them. audience laughs thats what i meant. But whenever there was a dance, jenny made sure that every woman had a partner. That wasnt too easy, was it . No, it wasnt, especially for the men in the band. You know, its pretty hard to dance with a girl when youre playing an instrument. audience laughs she had the men in the band dancing with the women . And the captain, and the pilot, and the sailors. Hold it, hold it. If the captain and the pilot and the sailors were dancing, who was steering the ship . Well, what difference did it make . The captain didnt know where they were anyway. audience laughs you mean they were lost and they were dancing . Well, why not . You see, it was a world cruise, so wherever they were lost, it was part of it. [george] they were still in it . Yes. Gracie, say goodnight. Goodnight. Goodnight. applause cheerful music a civilian woman . Here on taratupa . Yes, sir, she was aboard the transport plane that made that Emergency Landing here this morning