Youre late for work. You grab your 10gallon jug of coffee, and back out of the garage. Right into your wifes car. With your wife watching. She forgives you. Eventually. Your Insurance Company, not so much. They say you only have their basic policy. Dont basic policies cover basic accidents . Of course, they say. As long as you pay extra for it. With a Liberty Mutual base policy, new car replacement comes standard. And for drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. Learn more by calling at Liberty Mutual, every policy is personal, with coverage and deductibles, which is why we dont offer any offtheshelf policies. Switch to Liberty Mutual and you could save up to 509. Call Liberty Mutual for a free quote today at see Car Insurance in a whole new light. Betty betty betty, i need you in the kitchen. Betty, i need some potatoes peeled. In a minute, mother i need you now im halfway there already. Bud. Bud, you havent emptied the wastebasket yet. Im practically there already. Kathy, you may start setting the table. Bud im on my way. I got to finish doing something first. By all means, get that important work done. Hi, dad. You home . No, im in ethiopia hunting wild goats. Look, i know i shouldnt bother you when youre so busy, but if youll just slow down for a minute, id like to say something. Margaret bud, betty cant come now, mom. Dads keeping us here. What are you doing to my workers . Im not doing anything, and neither are they. Look at them. I hope they dont get nervous breakdowns from overwork. Im talking to you, too, princess. Oh, hello, father. Daddy, why dont little fish swim backwards . I dont know, and dont change the subject. Your mothers been calling for a little help, and none of you have moved. We said wed be right there. You said it, but you didnt do it. We need a little more action around here. Dont you kids realize that the habits you form here at home are the ones youre gonna take with you into your Community Life . A good citizen doesnt shirk his duty. He does his share to help others. And whats more, he doesnt have to be asked a hundred times. He volunteers willingly and cheerfully. Is that clear . Mother, do you believe Elizabeth Taylors waistline is only 19 inches . Kathy, will you lead us in our closing pledge . Under the sign of the wigwam, we, the little squaws of america, pocahontas tribe, district 19, pledge our hearts and our minds to blaze a trail of goodness and to help others along the way. [ ululating ] thats fine. Kathy, thats enough. Now, girls, lets be sure and remember it goes to a poor family in town who needs our help very much, so lets all bring in our bundles of old but usable clothing tomorrow morning. Gee, mrs. Davis, do we have to . Marcia, the spirit of giving comes from the heart. You do it because you want to, not because you have to. Its purely a matter of volunteering. And you do it willingly and cheerfully. Did you say vol nteering . Thats right, kathy. You know what that means, dont you . Mommy, im leaving margaret all right, angel. Come right home after school. But, really, i didnt touch the suit. Now, what would i want with one of your suits . Well, i know i hung it there. Im positive. I took it out of the could i be losing my memory . Oh, dont worry. Itll turn up someplace. Whats the matter . Isnt it all right . It doesnt have any holes. Oh, kathy, its wonderful. Your father must be a very generous person. Yes, maam. This will be quite a surprise. [ sadly ] yes, it will be. Well, say, now. Say, now hey, edna, look at this yeah, look at this are you sure these things came from the little squaws . [ chuckles ] oh, will, i never thought this would happen to us wearing castoffs and oh, now, now, honey, weve got to keep our spirits up. Well get something. At least now ill look presentable [ chuckles ] pretty good fit, huh . Not bad. Tailored for jamee anderson, 607 south maple. [ chuckles ] pretty fancy, huh . Peanut butter and jelly. I dont know why you kept on wearing the old thing anyway. Well, some suits have a certain feel to them, give a man a sense of confidence. Ill never get another one to hang on me like that one did. I hope not. I feel as though ive lost an old friend. Hey, dad, i just been to a junior hiy meeting, and theres something i got to check with you. How much will it cost me . Nothing. Thats good. Yet. Our annual fatherandson banquet comes up next week, and, well, they have entertainment and stuff like that, see . Uhhuh. And they needed somebody to head up the entertainment committee. Nobody said anything, then i remembered what you said about volunteering, so i raised my hand. You too . Oh, im for it, son, 100 . That was the whole idea of the talk. Go to it, boy. Then ill call up joe phillips and tell him its all set. Good. Im glad to see bud take an active part in things. Hes a little apt to sit back and let the others do it. What amazes me is you try and try to get a point over to the kids, you swear theyre not paying any attention at all, and then a few days later joe . This is bud. You home . Yeah, im home. I always like that intelligent conversation he and joe have. Yeah, well, dad said he was for it 100 , so put him down as head of the entertainment committee. Ill see you tomorrow, joe. Bye. Wait, bud dont hang up already hung up. Something you wanted to ask him . No, theres something i want to ask you. Whats this about me . I thought you volunteered. I did. I volunteered you. See, for these banquets, the dads always head the committees. Well, look, cant you, uh. Unvolunteer me . If everyone will do his part willingly and cheerfully. All right, all right. Bud, take these upstairs, will you . Try unbuttoning your shirts before you take them off. Okay, mom. Dad, who do you think youre gonna get to entertain at the banquet . Well, um. How about marilyn monroe, bing crosby, betty grable, the ritz brothers, roy rogers, and trigger . Thatd be swell. Im so glad you approve. You know, this will be a Better Program than oli zeiglers dad got off last year. And they all said nobody would ever top that. Dad, how soon you gonna know if all these people can come . Oh, look, bud, in the first place better know pretty soon cause we got to get the names printed in the programs. Bud, i well, i got to go upstairs, do some homework. Night, dad. Good night. Sure was keen of you to volunteer. [ tires screeching ] [ crashing ] [ indistinct conversations ] jim the good citizen doesnt shirk his duty. He does his share to help others. [ thinking ] oh, somebody will want me to be a witness. Besides, nobodys asked me to be one. And whats more, the good citizen doesnt wait to be asked. He volunteers willingly and cheerfully. Man oh, miss would you wait a minute, please . I didnt really see any of it, hardly. I just ii sure could use a witness. Wouldnt you just give me your name . Im sorry. Why, yes. I always believe one should do ones duty willingly and cheerfully. So i said i would. Witness . What do you mean you have to be a witness . Well, just that, father. See, i was coming home from the library. As i crossed oak street, these two cars bumped into each other. What two cars . The two cars in the accident. Oh, that helps a lot. Was anyone hurt . No. Some woman was driving one of the cars, and the other one was driven by greg. Well, whos greg . Greg patterson. Mother, he has the most wonderful brown eyes youve ever seen. A senior in college, but i never met him. Mother, his eyes are actually penetrating but actually you should never have gotten involved in this, betty. Well, i started to walk away, and then i remembered what father said about good citizens always volunteering. [ coughing ] so without a moments hesitation, i marched right back and volunteered to help, thinking only of my civic duty. You should never have stopped. No, she did the right thing, margaret. As an insurance man, i know how difficult it is to get witnesses in these cases. Im glad you did it, betty. It was your duty. Im worried, father. I dont know how to be a witness. What do you do first . You cross your legs, dont you . Only in cartoons. I dont think youll have to go to court, but if you ever do, just tell the truth, thats all. Well, thats the trouble. See, greg asked me if i saw the woman go through the red light, and i said yes, and he put that down. Well, thats all right if thats the way it happened. But after i got to thinking about it, i couldnt remember whether it was red or green. I dont even remember seeing a traffic light. [ telephone rings ] how i remember those deep brown eyes. Hello . Yes, this is he. Oh, hello, mrs. Paisley. Im sorry to disturb you at this hour, mr. Anderson, but these things are always such a beastly nuisance to me. And you handle them so beautifufuy. Thats right, the leftfront fender and the grille. Uhhuh. Tell me, mrs. Paisley, did this by any chance happen at the oak street intersection . Oh, just psychic, i guess. Wait, dont tell me. Was his name Greg Patterson . Oh, thats nothing. I can even tell you what color eyes he has. I didnt notice his eyes, but i got his license number. Oh, it was his fault, naturally. And we can prove it, too, do you, uh. Have any idea who that girl might be . I didnt have a chance to find out. This this patterson person whisked her away in his car while i was examining my bumper. Weve got to locate her. Well, we may be able to find her. Youd better come in tomorrow morning and make out a full report. All right, mrs. Paisley. Goodbye. Now nnow, father, it was really your fault. I wouldnt have stopped if it hadnt been for your lecture. Yes, and thats the last lecture i ever give. I make one little suggestion, and look what happens im head of an entertainment committee, i lose my best suit, and now im involved in an accident case against my best client oh, will i ever learn to keep my big mouth shut . All right, mr. Potter, well see what we can find for you. Thanks. You think it might be soon . Cant tell. Oh, wait. You should have put down some references. Uh. References . I see youre fairly new in town, but you should list at least one local business acquaintance. Yes, one one business acqu thats right. Uh. [ clears throat ] put down my good friend james anderson. Okay. Address . 607 south maple. 607 south maple. Phone . Its in the book. [ chuckles ] i never can remember numbers. Anderson. Is that the anderson whos the wholesale grocery distributor . Thats him. Hes one of the biggest distributors of jelly and Peanut Butter that i know. Its almost lunchtime, and you eat too many of them anyway. I dont eat so many. Mostly i just lose them. Is father home yet . No. And put your sweater where it belongs. Mother, ive done nothing all morning but worry about the trial. If i testify for greg, fathers Insurance Company will lose, but if i testify for father, ill betray poor greg, and he has such beautiful eyes. You cant just testify any way you want to. Youve got to tell the truth. Oh, that. Will they put you in jail . No whos gonna put who in jail . Daddy oh. Hurry up, tell me is miss paisley gonna sue . We dont know yet. There seems to be a big difference of opinion as to who entered the intersection first mrs. Paisley or brown eyes. Can you remember who did . Uh. Think hard now. This is important. I think it was mrs. Paisley. Well, thats good. [ humming ] or maybe it was greg. Oh, fine. Well, i know it was one or the other. Well, take your sweater, and get ready for lunch. All right, mother. Father, about the intersection, which would be better for greg . Betty, trials are not conducted that way. One switch in your testimony and you could be convicted of perjury. Can we visit betty in jail . You keep out of this aw, turn blue. Dad, have you got it . Got what . The entertainment for the hiy banquet. Oh, that. Deadlines this noon. Noon . You mean right now . Yeah, if i dont get it now, we cant get it printed up in the programs. Committees gonna call you. Well, i just havent had time to do it, bud. You havent . gee, dad, you promised. Now, look, bud seems to me when a fella volunteers for something bud, have you washed your hands . Not quite. Gee, dad, you got to think of something, get somebody. Jumping catfish what are you doing in moms clothes . You wouldnt understand. [ doorbell rings ] hello. Is this where Betty Anderson lives . Yeah. Well, if shes home, could i see her . My name is Greg Patterson. Oh, youre brown eyes. Yeah, ill tell her youre here. Oh, betty, stop dramatizing this thing. Youre not mata hari going on trial for her life. Im only trying to do my civic duty. Nobodys gonna believe the testimony of some little snip of a bobbysockser. Hey, tallulah, guess whos here to see you. Brown eyes. Brown eyes . oh, theyve come for me i wouldnt faint. Its not as serious as that, dear. Whatll i do . Well, id go in and talk to him. I cant. I just cant. Ill go. I should be handling this business anyway. Stop interfering. He didnt ask to see you. Hey, dad, have you got some entertainment yet . Oh, bud, stop needling me. I have enough problems with betty and greg. Well, this was your idea in the first place. You said a good citizen. I know what i said. Uhoh, thats the committee. What are you gonna tell them . Uh. You talk to them, bud. Not me. Im not head of entertainment. Well, im not, either, but somebodys got to do something. Hello . Yes, just a minute. You may as well face it, dear. [ sighs ] hey, theres my sandwich this is just not my day. Hello . Yes, this is mr. Anderson, but ive been so busy, i havent who . State Unemployment Bureau . No, i dont know anyone by that name. You must have the wrong anderson. Whats the matter, dear . Uh. Nothing. What did you say . Oh, no, no, no im in the insurance business, and i dont know any mr. Potter. Potter . daddy, thats the man yes, this is 607 south maple. Daddy, daddy just a moment, please. Kathy, dont i have enough trouble without you pestering me . But, daddy, thats the man mr. Potter. What man . The man we gave your suit to. So thats it. Hes not satisfied with his suit. Now hes using my name, too. But, dear, hes probably desperate anything to get a job. Well, thats all very well now, you know a good citizen always does his share to help others willingly and cheerfully. Hello. Im sorry to keep you waiting, but i just found out i do have sort of a connection with this mr. Potter. Well, whats his background . Oh, it is . Uh, tell you what. Why dont you have him drop by my office this afternoon . Commercial building. Fine, thank you. Thank you, dear. Well make a good citizen out of you yet. Dad, what about that entertainment . You just got to get somebody oh, bud, stop worrying. Have i ever let you down . Well, no. But, gee, dad, theyre depending on you. Mother, guess what im going with greg oh, dear, to court . No to jail . No, to the sierra supper club. Odd place for a trial. Theres no trial. Gregs Insurance Companys settling that. [ piano playing ] whats that playing . Thats a record greg made on his home recorder. He brought it over for me to hear. Mother, hes a wonderful piano player well, ill have to have a talk with that young man. Bbut, father mother, whats he gonna do . Who knows . [ applause ] ladies and gent dads and boys, this is quite a moment for us. Edna and i. Edna and i played to many audiences everywhere, but. You people here i just cant express it, but. Its all in here. And i want you to know that, as long as we live, and my very, very good friend. You both have a perfect driving record. No tickets. No accidents. That is until one of you clips a food truck, ruining your perfect record. Yup. Now, you would think your Insurance Company would cut you some slack, right . No. Your insurance rates go through the roof. Your perfect record doesnt get you anything. Anything. Perfect for drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. And if you do have an accident, our claim centers are available to assist you 24 7. For a free quote, call Liberty Mutual at you could save up to 509 call today at see Car Insurance in a whole new light. Liberty mutual insurance. Ouou could have been there, honey. They wouldnt let the potters off the stage. Oh, i bet they were happy. It must have seemed as if they were living again. Well, they were. And you know what happened right after the banquet . What . Hal leonard signed them up for a tour of army camps. How wonderful. And what a change it made in them. It gave them back their selfrespect. I certainly learned tonight how important that is. You must never take that away from a man. And you know Something Else . That suit of mine never looked better. Captions by vitac and jane wyatt. giggling with elanor donahue, billy gray, and Lauren Chapin in father knows best. upbeat music honking jim look out hi, everybody kathy hi, daddy bye, daddy remember me . Kathy sure daddy, i could never forget you. Jim how about a kiss to pay for your room and board, and laundry . laughs okay, paid. door slams hello, honey. Whats burning . Hello, dear. Jim oh, cornbread. Margaret its a cake. Jim is it a pancake . Margaret its a birthday cake i mean, well at this point i really dont know myself. Betty mother mother have you seen my oh hi, father. Jim hi, princess. Betty father before you say another word, i want you to answer just one question, and i want the truth. Am i getting fat . Jim all i can say is theres never too much of a good thing. Betty oh no margaret in simple language, you told her that she was growing into a hippopotamus. Jim i said that . Margaret ralph said shes gaining weight. Jim oooh. Why doesnt he mind his own business . whining margaret what can i do with it . Arent you home early . Jim yes, and youll see why. Theres something i want to show you. Margaret what . Jim out in the driveway, something i bought for bud. Something hes always wanted. Margaret well that probably means something you want and never been able to have. Good heavens jim how do you like it . Kathy margaret oh good gracious, get her jim stay here, honey. Jim happy . Kathy hey, let me go jim i told you not to touch things margaret is she all right . Jim a little oily, but otherwise sound. Margaret kathy, go upstairs, put on a clean dress. Kathy i just put this one on, its clean except for the dirt. Jim go on with you. Better gosh father, where did you get this . Margaret thats exactly what id like to know. Jim i bought it second hand. Margaret but darling, weve got a perfectly good car, why you look ridiculous riding jim its not for me, its for bud. Margaret bud . You mean that. Youre going to give a dangerous toy like that to a boy buds age . Jim margaret, its not dangerous, and its not a toy. Look at me, i rode it home from the office, and not one broken bone. Betty gee, this is really something margaret youre not going to give that to bud. Hes not ready for it. Jim margaret, the boy has to grow up. Margaret not on that thing he doesnt. Jim well i got a terrific bargain. One of the boys at the club put it up for sale, and with a little careful manipulating i got it for a price. Betty how much . Jim well i talked him down to fifty dollars. Margaret fifty dollars . Betty fifty dollars . Jim [read] from left to right, yes fifty dollars. Margaret i could have bought all new curtains for upstairs. Betty i could have taken dr. Bixleys reducing course. Jim i could have gotten some new golclubs, but it happens i bought bud a motor scooter instead and thats that. Margaret im not going to let you give it to him, jim. Jim but margaret, the boy has to have responsibility. Margaret bud doesnt know the meaning of responsibility. Hes a child. Betty, go upstairs and get ready for dinner. Betty i want to hear who comes out ahead. Jim betty margaret, you havent heard the best part of the whole deal. Jim i pulled a fast one over on fred heartly. He wanted it for his kid, but i outsmarted him. Margaret by fifty dollars . Jim well you know how fred is, always bragging about getting a bargain on everything. I took it right out from under his nose. Its nearly killing him margaret well its not going to kill bud. You can sell it right back and thats that. Betty betty okay, now i know the ending. Ill get ready for dinner. Jim margaret, if the poor kid sees it and then we tell him he cant have it, itll break his heart. Margaret he doesnt have to see it. Now quick, jim. Hide that thing. Bud will be back any minute. Jim hide it where . Margaret right in the garage and throw something over it. Jim throw what over it . Margaret oh jim, youre stalling just so he can see it. Now hurry up jim poor bud. Margaret jim, are you sure you hid it carefully . Jim under two blankets, a piece of canvas, and the lawnmower. Margaret, im making one last appeal. And its going back in the morning. Betty. Is it polite to read at the table . Betty theres no use in my even sitting down, all im having is a piece of lettuce. Kathy rabbits get fat on lettuce. Ha ha ha, bettys a rabbit. Margaret kathy, be quiet. Wait for the rest. door slams bud sorry im late, say, you should have been with me, claude [unintelligible] that she never came home. Hi, dad. Jim hello, son. Well were you out today on your broken down old bike . Bud no, i loaned it to joe phillips to deliver his papers. Say dad. Have you thought any more about getting me a motor scooter . Jim why yes, i that is, ive thought about it a little. Margaret bud, eat your dinner, and dont worry your father about motor scooters. Bud okay. But if i had one i could get a lot of extra jobs around like delivering and stuff. Jim you see, margaret . Kathy singsong i know a secret i know a secret jim what were you going to say, kitten . Kathy i cant tell. Jim oh, thats a new twist. Betty i got it why its miraculous jim what is . Betty this is a book on handwriting analysis, and i just analyzed yours, and it actually works jim how did i do . Betty well the curly qs on your r show that you have a b personality. Jim just b . Maybe i can work up to an a if i watch my curly qs. Kathy whats a curly q . Margaret eat. Kathy if i eat will i find out . Betty according to professor steiden, b is far above average. Jim thats me betty ill read on. This is fascinating kathy bud. Bud what is it, shrimp . Kathy will you do me a favor after dinner . Bud what kind of a favor . Kathy get my roller skates. Margaret well you not going roller skating, itll be too late. Kathy i dont want to skate, cant i just have them . Jim let her have them, margaret. Where are they . Kathy out in the garage. Jim bud, get your sisters skates. Margaret bud stay right where you are. Therell be no roller skating after dinner young lady. Betty listen your handwriting reveals that you are the type who rules this family with an iron hand, and always gets his way. Jim betty. Betty what . Jim the professor who wrote that book must be a bachelor, take it back. Betty jamie has just got to see this book door slams kathy gee that was a good dinner. Youre the best cook in the whole world. Kathy mommy, why do little girls play house . Margaret because. Well its instinctive with them. Kathy whats that . Margaret it. Jim. Explain it to her. Jim huh . Margaret kathy asked me why little girls play house. I said it was instinctive. Explain to her what instinctive means. Jim well instinct is something that comes naturally. There, that explain it . Kathy why dont little boys play house . Jim well thats a silly question. Margaret i think its a very intelligent question. Jim whats so [unintelligible] intelligent about it . It sounds a little ridiculous to me. Margaret jim jim well to tell you the truth margaret, ive never delved into this subject. Do you know why little boys dont play house . Margaret well it. Kathy, time for you to go to bed. Kathy alright. Night, daddy. Jim goodnight, sweetheart. Kathy could i ask for a scooter . Margaret kathy jim your mother handles the scooter department. Kathy im off to bed, bud. Look chugchugchugbeepbeep, margaret kathy kathy chugchugchugchugbeepbeep. Margaret jim. Jim hm . Oh, i was just. Margaret darling. The children are all upstairs in their rooms. Now is the time for you to call fred heartly and let him have the scooter. Jim oh honey, i just want you to take a look at this thing. Did you ever see such a neat Little Machine . And the taillight, you know taillights add to safety for night driving. This honey of an engine, imagine one little harmless cylinder, one little piston, one little spark plug margaret and one little item that youve completely overlooked. Its not for an irresponsible boy. Jim oh margaret, its a harmless Little Machine. Margaret its a two wheel accident looking for a place to happen. I wont be persuaded, jim. Jim you get on it, margaret. See for yourself. Margaret now you get away from me, jim. Jim oh come on. Margaret jim go right in the house and phone fred heartly. Jim margaret i cant understand you. Before we were married you used to ride on the handlebars of my bike, now you wont even sit on a scooter. Margaret before a girl is married, she has to take a lot of chances that are no longer necessary afterwards. Jim you mean you didnt enjoy it . Margaret if you will take time to study the construction of a handlebar, you will hardly find it conducive to a girls. Comfort. Jim why didnt you ever tell me . Each other that well then. Jim i never had any idea what you went through to capture me. Tell me more. Margaret actually, this is completely off the subject. Now jim, were going to go in that house, and youre going to call fred heartly. Jim no im not. Margaret you stop that, jim now you cover that thing up so that bud cant see it. Im going to get fred on the phone. Jim margaret, ill feel like a fool asking fred heartly to buy it after i outsmarted him. Margaret hello, fred . Well this is margaret anderson. Fine, thank you. Fred, jim wants to talk to you. Jim cant we put this off until hi, fred. Fred you got a nerve calling after the dirty trick you played on me today. Jim just a little manipulating, fred. In fact thats what im calling about. Fred if youre calling to rub it in you can hang up jim oh, just the opposite, fred old man, i. I got a twinge of conscience knowing how much you wanted it for that boy of yours. Fred cut the malarky so what . Jim well im going to let you have the scooter, fred old boy. Fred what happened . Did it fall apart . Jim no, it didnt fall apart. I just realized it was a selfish move, and you can have it for just what i paid for it. Fifty dollars. Fred ill give you forty. Jim but i paid fifty dollars hard cash betty have you seen my handwriting book . Jim fred, ill tell you what ill do. Ill split the difference with you. Forty five dollars. How do you like that . Im doing him a favor and he wants to haggle. Betty father, have you seen that paper i had . Jim oh betty, im telephoning. Fred, listen to me. Forty two fifty, and thats my last offer. Margaret whispers how much does he want to pay . Jim whispers forty dollars. Betty cant anybody leave anything around this house without disappearing . Margaret betty. whispers how much did you say . Jim forty dollars fred its a deal jim oh fred, i was talking to fred fred . the shark hung up on forty margaret well thats better than losing fifty, and im happy its all settled. Better here it is well goodnight again. Jim betty betty yes, father . Jim analyze my handwriting again, and see if it shows im a shrewd operator who drives a hard bargain. Margaret i dont have to analyze your handwriting. Its written all over your face. Better mother. Margaret betty isnt that a little extreme for dinner with the family . Betty im just trying it on for tonight. How is it . Margaret betty, i think its a little too. Well, too. Betty well its supposed to be. Do you think harvey will like it . Margaret frankly, there isnt enough to dislike. I dont seem to remember that dress, dear. Betty janes aunt loaned it to me. Shes so sophisticated margaret betty, i dont think its exactly for you. I think its a little too old. Betty mother margaret well i do. How old is harvey . Betty nineteen. Margaret then i think its too old for him too. Better mother, harveys quite sophisticated. Jim margaret, wherefore art thou . Margaret in here, dear. I dont think your fathers going to like it. flute solo jim hi, honey. Oh how do you do . I didnt mean to betty betty do you like it, dad . Tell me the truth. Jim ill tell you the truth alright, where do you think youre going in that . Margaret then you better put a turtleneck sweater over it. Betty father, dont be so rectangular. Jim margaret, are you going to let her leave the house in that thing . Margaret well i. I dont especially like it. Betty maybe youll loan me the bloomers and mini blouse you wore when you were a girl. Jim well your mother looked pretty good to me. Betty father, but this is the twentieth century. Jim margaret, do i seem Old Fashioned to you . Margaret not in the least. Do i to you . Jim no. Margaret then that probably means that we both are and dont recognize it. Jim alright. Whats for dinner . Margaret by the way, did you take care of that motor scooter . Jim oh dont mention it, it nearly broke my heart to let that chiseler have it. Margaret oh jim, you only lost ten dollars. Jim i cant help thinking how bud would have loved having it. Margaret well what he doesnt know wont hurt him. Jim ill have to make it up to him some other way i guess. Just to ease my conscience. Bud mom. Oh, hi dad. Jim hello, son. Bud mom, how long before dinner . Margaret itll be ready in about a half hour. Bud okay. Jim bud bud yeah, dad . Jim wait a minute son, i want to talk to you. Bud what did i do . Jim nothing. This is something between you and me. Here, i want you to have this. Bud money jim twenty dollars. Bud i cant believe it whats the catch . Jim sometimes your parents want to give you things, but we feel youre not grown up enough. You know, responsible enough. Bud you mean i dont have to wash the car or clean the cellars for the next ten years . Jim no strings. Bud i dont know how to thank you, dad. Jim you can thank us, bud. Just prove you know the meaning of responsibilty by the way you handle this money. Bud gee. Kathy daddy, what did you give bud . Jim bud . Oh, some money. Kathy what for . Jim well its sort of a secret. Kathy a real secret . Jim heres a bright shiny new dime for you. Kathy what do i have to do for it . Jim nothing. What am i around here, simon legree . Kathy youre a wonderful daddy upbeat music kathy morning, daddy. Jim good morning, kitten. Kathy daddy, do you make as much money in saturdays when you dont work as you do on thursdays when you do work . Jim well lets just say i dont lose any. Kathy daddy, how much money did you give bud yesterday . Jim thats between bud and me. Kathy a water pistol costs a quarter. Jim alright. Here. Its a shakedown. Kathy i didnt ask you for it margaret oh kathy its good having you home saturday mornings, darling. Makes the weekend seem longer. Jim better than that, it makes the weekdays seem shorter. I wish i could manage it every saturday. Mmmm. Have you already eaten . Margaret ages ago. Bud was up an hour before breakfast. Jim well thats not unusual. Margaret for bud to go without breakfast . Jim, you shouldnt have given him all that money yesterday. Jim how do you know . Margaret bud told me. Why . Does it have to be a secret . Jim no, not actually. But tell me one thing, did kathy know you knew about the money . Margaret well she was right here when bud mentioned it. Why . Jim nothing. I just hope she remembers us if she ever decides to hijack fort knox. Bud mom dad i got a surprise for you jim wont believe what . Bud out in the driveway, come on come on, look at it jim wait a minute, i havent finished my breakfast. Whats going on here anyway . Margaret oh no jim the scooter bud isnt it a knockout . Jim right in the shoulder plexus. Margaret so you did give it to him and lied about the whole thing jim now take it easy honey, i dont know any more about it than you do. Bud dad didnt give it to me, mom. Mr. Hartly bought it for his son freddy, only freddys mother said no. Can you imagine a goofy mother like that . Jim your mother has an excellent imagination. Go on. Bud well you know that twenty dollars you gave me . I sold my old bike to joe baker for ten, and put it with the twenty and bought the scooter. Jim you bought that for thirty dollars from fred heartly . Bud if he wasnt there i think i could have got it from mrs. Heartly for nothing jim oh gee honey, youll have to admit, bud deserves it. Anyone who can trim fred heartly. Look at it dear, no one can get hurt on it. Bud whats the matter . Jim well bud, i think your mother doesnt approve of the scooter. Shes afraid it might be too dangerous. Im not a kid you cant mean it jim bud, will you promise your mother to be extra careful while riding it . Bud of course ill be extra careful, mom. I even stopped off at the Police Station and got this book on safety rules. That isnt a toy. Margaret it isnt . Bud well of course not, mom. A motor job like thats a responsibility. Almost like a car margaret bud. Thats the first time i ever heard you use the word responsibility in connection with yourself. Go ahead and keep it. Im sure youll be safe with it. Bud gee mom, youre great margaret go ahead and say it. Jim okay. Jim no no, straighten it, straighten it thats it alright, now this way honks Horn Margaret oooh now that was fun betty i want to be next kathy i want to be next jim fathers next bud my motor scooter. Margaret be careful dont speed, look out for the trucks. Jim dont worry bud think ill ever get a chance to ride it . Jim why of course, son its yours, isnt it . ending theme [ ] [bus honking] harold hold the bus hurry up bye, mom, dad bye, hazel bye honey, will you call my office and tell ms. Stahl ill be late . All right. I wanna drive by the muellers bake shop and get their signatures on that option. Oh, havent they signed yet . Mrs. Mueller has agreed, but her husband thinks they oughta hang on to that building for another ten years. It would be worth a whole lot more. Oh. course, you know, hes right. Oh, hazel, that reminds me, what have you done with the money your nephew sent you . Well, i bought a few things i needed, good. Soon as i have a little more time, i want to talk to you about investing for your old age. Okay, mr. B. Darling, as long as youre going by the bakery anyway, would you pick up that dark rye you like so much . No, he dont need to do that. Mr. B, im going right past there to go to Signor Antonios to see my new handmade shoes i ordered. Wait a minute. You mean you ordered shoes from Signor Antonio . How much . Oh, golly mr. B, my arches was killing me honey, she wont have that money a week. George, it is her money. Hazel, if you dont hang on to at least 1,000 of that money to invest, illill fire me . Ill just deduct 50 a month from your paycheck and invest it for you, and if you dont like it, quit. Can i help you, ms. Burke . Oh, id like a cream puff and coffee here, and i want half a dozen crescent rolls in a freezer bag to take out. Oh, and a sevenlayer tort, and one of those loaves of dark rye that mr. Baxters so crazy about. No no dark rye for mr. Baxter. Why . Whats the matter with it . Nothing for mr. Baxter will i sell from this shop. Here, hazel. Eat. You are my friend. Eat whatever you like, but take out no more. Mr. Baxter, he should starve to death. I wouldnt sell him a crust of bread for ten millions of dollars shell be back now dont worry she didnt mean it. Mean what . My anna, my wife. 47 years, psh, out of the door. Oh, you mean mrs. Muellers left you . I dont believe it [chortles] the lawyer you work for, that lowlife, for weeks ideas he puts into her head. To retire to california, he says. No im a young man well, i dont think mr. Baxter mean to start any quarrel. Shh dont you mention his name shell come back, mr. Mueller, dont worry who is worried . What is she going to do in california . Be a movie star . [sniffs] somethings burning. Oh, mr. Mueller, your cheesecake oh, let them burn let the whole building burn up [sighs] who is going to rub her back in california . Jack lemmon . Now mr. Mueller, you gotta pull yourself together. Im together. But you gotta decide what youre gonna do. Mama wants to retire to california, let her. I send her money. In Beverly Hills she can live, in a penthouse. But mr. Mueller, wholl take care of the books . I get along. She doesnt need me, i dont need her. But you said yourself you had no head for figures. Dont you worry when she finds out i dont need her, shell come back. By kansas city already, she will be sorry. But what if in the mean time, i hire someone else. She is smart. You want to make some extra money, hazel . Oh, well, id be glad to help you, but my friend. What did i tell you . Dont worry. My friend hazel will do mamas job until she comes back. But dont forget, mr. Mueller, i got a fulltime job with the shh dont mention his name well, what i meant was, i can only give you a couple of hours a week. Plenty see, what did she do . I cant get along without mama . Im the baker whatever salary you want, its all right with me. Oh, i dont want any salary. She does not want any pay. I tell you what, i make you a partner. A partner . Ill sell you a quarter interest in my place for 8,000. Right today, i turned down your boss offer for 36,000. Is that fair . Oh, its more than fair, but i dont have that kind of money. How much you have . Well, i got 1,000. Okay 1,000 cash, and the rest you pay out of the profits, huh . You want to shake on it . Just a minute, first i wanna make sure that youre absolutely, positively certain that you wont change your mind about selling. Do i look like a man who changes his mind . No. I stay right here in this bake shop if mama never comes back want to shake on it . Shake, its a deal. Only i just dont know how im gonna explain it to hello mr. Egan, thanks for calling me back. I got something to tell you. Whats the matter . Im afraid i have rather disappointing news, though. Mr. Mueller wont sell, and thats that. Hazel, how could you . ive talked to him and his wife several times. Yes, well, we tried. Ive already started getting options on that other location we talked about. Shouldnt take more than three or four days. Oh, by all means. You let me know your flight number, and ill pick you up at the airport. Thats right, ill meet you. Well, the sooner you tell him, the better. But missy go on, tell him. Thank you, mr. Egan. Goodbye. Mr. B, im glad you and mr. Egan aint too disappointed about mr. Mueller turning you down. Well, hazel, you learn to take things as they come. Id rather not speak about mr. Mueller. Hazel, do you know that man practically insulted me . Oh, but mr. B, mr. Mueller dont mean everything he says. What, do you think theres a chance of his changing his mind . Well, hazel, what did you hear . Its very important to tell me. If theres half a chance of putting that deal over, i wont go ahead with this other proposition. Oh, no, i didnt mean that, mr. B, no. No, im absolutely, positively certain he wont sell. Oh. Otherwise, i wouldnta bought a quarter interest in his bakery. You wouldnt have what . george, she only had to pay 1,000 down, and hes gonna let her make up the rest out of the profits. Supposthere arent any profits . Any business is a risk. She should have put her money in annuities, where shed make money itll be all right, darling. Im sure it will. Mr. Mueller is a wonderful baker. How is she gonna do her work here oh, but mr. B, you know i wouldnt let the bakery interfere with my job. Id never do a thing like that. Have you signed a contract . Well, i shook hands. And i wouldnt wanna go back on a handshake. Well, hazel, theres nothing more i can do and say. I wish you luck and i hope you make a barrel of money. Oh, well, thats very sweet of you, mr. B. But if anything goes wrong, dont bring your troubles to me. Oh, what could possibly go wrong . [knock, knock, knock] mr. Mueller . [knocking continues] signora, your shoes are ready ill come back for them mr. Mueller, why are we closed . What happened . Wheres sally lou . I phoned her not to come in this morning. My bread doesnt rise. My pie crust, you couldnt cut it with an ax. I have fever, maybe . No. Some chills . No, you feel normal to me. Normal, she calls me. I think i better call the doctor. He came in last night. What does he know . Nerve medicine, he gives me. I havent got a nerve in this body. You know what i think . I thought you oughta call mrs. Mueller and ask her to come back. Never over my dead body, i call her. Well, then you oughta give me her number, and ill call her. Shed come back in a flash if she knew how you needed her. A lot does she care if im dead or alive who needs her . You do. Huh . And me, too. I got my good money invested in this bakery. And we aint got nothing to sell, and you not able to bake. Im better already. A good friend to tell my troubles to, thats all i needed. 47 years, i had someone to talk to when i was working, and now, psh, out of the door well, uhh, i tell you what. Suppose i was to come in for a little while every night and keep you company while youre baking. Would you do that, hazel . Promise, 2 00 sharp . Well, if you promise to take your medicine. I dont need it, but for your sake, if it makes you happy, ill do it. Im a reasonable man. All right, ill be here tonight, 2 00 sharp. Hazel, youre a good friend. We show mama who needs her yeah. [weakly chuckles] signorina oh, yeah, my new shoes. Sit down, signorina, sit down. [laughs] [speaking in italian] [italian continues] [italian continues] look, signorina, like gloves they fit. Hmm, like gloves they look. Baseball gloves. Come, step down, huh . Oh, they feel great, they really do. Come on, you walk now. Walk. Huh . Mehvillosa. Esplendida. Grazi, grazi, signorina. [speaking in italian] well, i sure cant wear these for dressup, but it doesnt look as if im gonna have much time for dancing. Things always work out for the best, i always say. Well now, lets see. George. Hello, darling. Whats the matter . Shh nothing, nothing. But hazel got her new shoes today, and george, if you laugh, ill never speak to you again. I mean it. Laugh . Why should i laugh . Promise me. Okay. Hello, hazel. Uh, any phone calls . Uhuh. Notice anything . My new shoes. Oh, yes, you look very comfortable. Whats the matter, mr. B . You lost your sense of humor . Shopping for an suv . Well, this is the time. And your ford dealer is the place, to get 0 financing for 60 months on a ford suv. Thats right. Just announced. Ford explorer. Edge. Escape. And expedition. Are available with 0 financing for 60 months. Ford suvs. Designed to help you be unstoppable. No wonder ford is americas best selling brand. But hurry, 0 financing for 60 months on ford suvs is a limited time offer. Mueller a letter again, from my daughter. But not a p. S. Even from mama. Not even a stamp. Oh, but shes bluffing. Shell come back. Mr. Mueller, them pies aint got no crust oh, good morning, hazel. Morning. Thanks for getting my paper for me. Youre up kind of early this morning, arent you . Oh, yes, kind of. Well, as long as you are, how about a cup of coffee . And if it isnt too much trouble, i could eat a couple of scrambled eggs. Oh, no, no trouble. Oh, its a glorious part of the day, isnt it, hazel . I think im gonna start getting up early every morning. Mueller four days already, and not even a postal card. Retire, she says. Lets enjoy what we have, she says. We are not as young as we used to be, she says. Who aint . Me. [yawning] i wont be home till late tonight, hazel, so better plan dinner for 7 30. Okay. Lets have stuffed pork chops, okay . And its just possible george may bring mr. Egan home with him, in case they close that deal this afternoon. Hazel, im worried about you. No. Do i look skinnier . Well, its all right to cut down, hazel, but you shouldnt even try to lose more than two pounds a week. You eat some breakfast. And take a nap this afternoon. I was planning on that. [phone rings] oh, it cant be noon already. Cant have slept that long. [phone continues ringing] [clears throat] baxter residence. Oh, hi, mr. B. Well, it must be a bad connection. I can hear you all right. Ohwhat . Yeah, meet mr. Egan at the airport. Yeah, okay. What time . 3 00 . All right, mr. B, i will. Yeah. Okay. Bye. [alarm ringing] [phone ringing] announcer this station will go off the air for four minutes, during the testing of our alert system. [barking] [car horn honking] [honking continues] [honking continues] [honking continues] [doorbell rings] mueller hazel, its me, mr. Mueller [mumbling] take your medicine. [yawning] oh, hazel, wheres mr. Egan . Uh, uh, uh wasnt he on the plane . Hazel, why didnt you call and tell me something happened . Do you realize i kept seven people waiting for him to show up . Well, uh oh, hazel, im very angry with you. You know how hard ive worked on this deal. Why, after disappointing these people, some of them may change their mind about selling why dont you answer me . Wheres mr. Egan . What happened . Well, uh, i [doorbell rings] ill get it. Oh, uh, here, this must be for you. Somebody shoved it under the back door. Oh, boy. You do all this research on a perfect car then smash it into a tree. Your Insurance Company raises your rates. Maybe you should have done more research on them. For drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. Just one of the many features call for a free quote today. See Car Insurance in a whole new light. Oh, mr. Egan i thought somebody was going to meet me. I, uh, i i waited and waited and waited at that airport for threequarters of an hour i, uh, i i finally took a cab, and when i got to the meeting, youd all left. I im getting myself another boy. I hi, mr. Egan. Hello, hazel. Im sorry i got everything snarled up, not meeting you at the airport, but its lucky i didnt. Right, mr. B . Lucky . sure. You wouldnt wanna sign with them other people when you got the mueller bake shop. Heres that power of attorney youve been waiting for, mr. B. Why, this is wonderful news, george. Im sorry if i seemed a trifle upset. You better look it over, see its okay. Howd you ever convince mueller that he ought to sell . Well, when mr. Mueller decided his wife wasnt gonna change her mind, he finally realized that he had to change his, so he packed up and went off to california. Right, mr. B . Yes, ii guess thats about what happened. Well anyway, heres the power of attorney permitting me to transfer the property over to you at the terms we agreed upon. Yup, and properly signed by both partners, you see . Why dont you and mr. B go io the living room and ill whip you up some of them Little Cheese puffs you like. Hazel. Are those contour shoes that youre wearing . Yeah. They aint much on looks, but boy, are they comfortable. So ive heard. Id like to try a pair. Ill take you down to Signor Antonios tomorrow. Hes a real artist. Oh, thats very kind of you, hazel. Oh, no trouble. I was going there anyway. Im gonna order me a pair in white to go with my summer uniforms. Id sure appreciate it. Theyre pretty expensive, but theyre worth every penny of it. I feel like i can afford em now, since i made that terrific investment last week. 100 on my money. [ ] [ ] what in the world are the baxters going to do in the middle east . Oh, well, you see mr. Griffin has a big oil deal goin, and he wants mr. B to handle it for him. I just cant believe it. How long will they be gone . Well, i dont know exactly, but a couple of months at least. [phone rings] baxter residence. Oh, hi, gracie. Yup, its true. Well, the baxters left last night. They ought to be in baghdad tonight. Well, im gonna be staying with mr. Bs brother. Yeah. Ill call you just as soon as i get settled. Bye, gracie. Well, i locked the garage. Is there anything else i can do for you, hazel . No, im all set. Im just waitin for harold to come down. Were gonna miss you, hazel. The sunshine girls just wont seem the same. Oh, for petes sake, myrt, i aint leavin the country. As a matter of fact, ive been wondering about that. After all the years of service that youve given to mr. And mrs. Baxter, im rather surprised that theyve just tossed you aside like this. Dont worry, rosie, i could have gone if i wanted to, but i wanted to stay here with harold. And thats another thing why didnt they take harold with them . Well, he couldnt miss any of his schooling. He would have missed a whole semester. Hi, hazel. Hi. Hey, harry, youre supposed to be on duty. What are you doin here . Im here representin the fellas the chief gave me special permission because youve done so much for us. Oh, i aint done nothin. I wanna present you with this helmet, makin you an honorary member of hook and Ladder Company number nine. Oh, thanks, harry. Wont it seem funny working for a stranger . A stranger, mr. Bs brother . Oh, hes like one of the family. Is he married . Oh, yeah, hes got the sweetest wife barbara and the cutest little girl. Hi, everybody. Hi, harold. Im all ready to go, hazel. Did you remember your toothbrush . Yes. Good boy. And combing brush . Yes, and last nights pajamas. Good boy. Can i hold the firemans hat . I knew you were gonna get it. Well, i guess were all set. I just cant believe it. Oh, barney, for petes sake, we aint goin to the moon. I guess we better call your uncle steve honey, what are you doing . You dont have to clean up. Hazels coming. I dont want her to see the house looking like this. [phone rings] ill get it hello . Oh, hi, hazel. I put some flowers in your room. Yes, he is. Just a minute. Daddy, hazel wants to speak to you. Oh, she probably wants to know what time im gonna pick them up. Tell her late this afternoon. I wanna wash the windows. Hi, hazel. Are you getting packed . Uh, mr. Baxter . Oh, well, were all packed. Were all ready to leave. Oh, well, id planned to pick you up later this afternoon. Oh, no, you dont have to do that. A friend of mines giving us a lift. Well be there in about an hour. Bye. Uh, hazel . Hello . Hello . Shell be here in an hour. Oh, no. Oh, swell. I havent scrubbed the kitchen yet. Harold and ill be able to play before lunch. Now, simmer down, both of you. Susie, you go outside and play. I wanna talk with your mother. A secret . Not exactly, honey, but it doesnt concern you. Ill sure be glad when harold gets here. Were going to have secrets, and were never going to tell anybody. Barbara, hazels coming, not the inspector general. Oh, but shes such a fabulous barbara, relax. Ive known hazel since i was a kid. Shes a maid, thats all. Shes just the best maid in the whole world. Now, who told you that . Well, you did. The last time we had dinner with george and dorothy. All right, shes a fantastic cook and housekeeper, but that doesnt mean you have to change your way of doing things. Honey, it only means youre going to have some help with this big, old house. Okay . Thats true. All right. Steve, promise me you wont change after hazel gets here . Me change . Now, why should i change . Well, you remember what you said about george. After hazel started working for him. He didnt know how to handle hazel. I do. How . Well, i intend to be firm with her. Patient, but very firm. The minute she steps out of line, i clamp down. It may come as a shock to hazel, but shell adjust when she discovers whos boss. I suppose. [phone rings] hello . Oh, hi, millie. Yes, hes right here. Hi, millie. Whats cookin . Good morning, mr. Baxter. Yes, a man and his wife came in looking for a house to buy. Oh, sure, theyre right here, uh, mr. And mrs. Robert dunlap. Robert dunlap, the millionaire . The millionaire . Oh, millie, you didnt say that right out loud to him, did ya . She did say it right out loud to him. He walked out, right . Hes still there. Millie, ill be right over. Oh, bless that millie. Hi, millie. Hi, mr. Baxter, this is mr. And mrs. Dunlap. The millionaires. Oh, im, uh, im sorry about that. Oh, dont be. Thats one of the happier words in the language. Now, exmillionaire, theres a sad one. Well, i dont think i have to be concerned for myself either way. Please, sit down. Thank you. Well, what can i do for you this morning . Well, were looking for a house. With a nice garden. And room for a pool table. And extra bedrooms in case the grandchildren decide to stay over. You know, weve seen our grandchildren for the first time in two years. Weve been living in europe. It was nice, but itll never take the place of grandchildren. Do you have any listings in the Evergreen Heights area . Uh, well, as a matter of fact i have. The houses are quite large in that section, but i we know the area. We loved it. We should never have sold the place. Well, how about it . You wanna show us what you have . Oh, fine, fine. My car is right out front. The houses are both empty, so we can go right in. Oh, thats a bad sign. Been on the market for a long time . Well, a little while. White elephants, huh . Oh, i wouldnt say that. Its just that theyre quite large. And expensive . Yes. Well, well take a look. Good. I suppose i shouldnt expect to buy a White Elephant with peanuts. Lady, youre speaking to the greatest elephant salesman of all time. They leave the worst tracks of anybody. I may have sold the bundy house. Youre kidding nope, mr. And mrs. Robert dunlap seem to think its just what they want. Well, come in, oh Great Elephant salesman of the north. For this rare, white pachyderm . 60,000. Oh, steve, the commission on that would be uh, 3,000 bucks. Well buy a piano. Wait a minute. The dunlaps wont make their decision until this afternoon. Uh, and besides, we dont play the piano. Well give susie lessons. I wanted to play the piano all my life. Honey, somewhere your logic breaks down. If we get a hunk of cash like that, its going right back into this house. We managed to trade our way into it, but we still have a beaut of a mortgage. [bells clanging] whats that noise . What is it . Oh, hi hi, aunt barbara, uncle steve. Hi, susie its hazel and harold it sure is. Well . I told her. Where is she . She said shed be in as soon as she puts on her uniform. Now, you understand what were gonna do . Were gonna lay down the law. Well establish right from the beginning just whos boss and what we expect from her. Yes, dear. You know, i really have to laugh at george, and the way he let her dominate him. Itll never happen here. Now, look, one more thing. I wanna establish shh here she comes. Well, i just took a look in the refrigerator. I didnt have time to clean it. Oh, for petes sake, it looked perfect to me, but i noticed you had some baked ham. I thought maybe youd like somean omelet for lunch . [laughs] oh, oh, thatd be fine. Uh, did you get all settled, hazel . Yes, pretty well. I wondered if i could stow my scuba diving gear oh, uh, thatll be all right. Well, of course, ill put my spear way up where the kids cant get it. Good, good. Who does your hair . I do. Oh, you do a terrific job. Ill help you next time if you want me to, like i did missy. Oh, i noticed there was a fresh bottle of vitamin pills over the sink. Who takes them . Uh, steveuh, mr. Steve. Uh, mr. Baxter is going to start taking them. You got a condition . What do you mean, have i got a condition . Well, i mean, is that why you have to take the pills, and do i have to watch your diet . Certainly not. Im just rundown a little, thats all. Now, hazel, we asked you in the living room so we can establish some ground rules for our relationship. Oh, thats a good idea. Mr. B and i did that right after he married missy. Good, good. Yeah, well, of course thursdays my day off, and then i like enough time off on sunday to go to church. Oh, well, thats fine, fine. Oh, well, breakfast is at seven, and i like everybody to be at the table on time, cause there aint nothin worse than a cold breakfast. Fine. Now, for lunch well, lunch is 12 15 on the dot, and thatll give susie and harold time to get home from school. You take your lunch home . Well, sometimes. Uh, my office is just in the next block, so i oh, what about customers . Hmm . Well, you have to give me at least half an hours notice if youre gonna bring customers home for lunch. Oh, we dont have to do that. I was just dinners at 6 30, and you can have as many guests as you like, cause i like snappy conversation while im serving. Oh, what time do you have . Oh, its, uh, 11 45. Oh, for petes sake, im slow. I gotta start lunch. Oh, uh, mr. Baxter, if i think of any more rules, ill let you know. Well, what do you think . Dad says hazels the best cook in the whole world. I wonder how he likes the food in baghdad. Well have to ask him when he calls tonight. I brought your vitamin pills, mr. Baxter. Thank you, hazel. Hazel, this omelet is delicious. How do you get it to rise so . Oh, well, i just beat up the whites, you know, good and stiff, and then i just ease in the yolks. There are your vitamin pills. Thank you, hazel. You can just wash em down with this water. Thank you very much. It says on the label you should take two a day. Yes. Ill just, uh, take em out of the bottle for ya. Susie, you aint drinkin your milk. I will, hazel. Now, theres your pills, mr. Steve. Hazel, im not a child. I will take my pills when im good and ready to take them. Now, i would like a little more coffee, please. Yes, sir. Thank you. Ill get the pot. That is the most infuriating woman. Thats what dad always says. Not a word from anybody. All gone . All gone. Id like a little more coffee now, please. What about you, mrs. Baxter . Uh, no, thank you, hazel. [whispering] steve, that was a silly thing to do. [whispering] its a matter of principle. I will not be pushed around by that woman. But those vitamins are for your own health. Well, now, what difference can it make if i start taking them tomorrow instead of today . Hazel will find out, uncle steve. Harold, she cant possibly find out. Now, lets change that subject, all right . Yes, sir. The dunlaps, when are they gonna let you know about the house . [normal volume] oh, boy. They said sometime this afternoon. I have to go back to the office as soon as i finish my coffee. You know, i really think this deal is going through. Im practically counting my commission. 41, 42, 43, 44, 45. Hi, millie. Any calls . Oh, hi, mr. Baxter. Yes, Freddie Mills called. He wants me to go to the movies with him tonight. Fine. Anyone else . Harvey pierce. I wouldnt go out with him if he were the last man on earth. Then don peters called. Millie, im glad you have a full social life, but were there any calls for me . Not a thing, mr. Baxter. 942, 943. So we called her in the living room, and i explained exactly what was expected of her meal schedules, things like that. As long as we keep a tight reign on her, hazel will work out fine. I remember when you told me what my duties were on this job. You looked so serious boy, i was scared. Well, i didnt mean to scare you, or hazel either, but i do believe an employee should know exactly whats expected of her. Oh, sure. Otherwise a person wont know what she can get away with. That isnt what i had in mind, millie. [phone rings] baxter realty. Whos calling, please . Just a moment. Is it dunlap . Its hazel. Oh, gosh. Ask her what she wants. Could i take a message . This is millie ballard. I work here after school and on saturdays. Nice meeting you, too, hazel. Will you ask her what she wants, please . He wants to know what you want. She wants you to come home and take your vitamin pills. What makes her think i didnt take them . Why do you think he didnt take them . Counted the whole bottle . she says its a new bottle, and it still has exactly a thousand pills in it. Oh i wont tolerate this tell her i forbid her to call me at the office. Hi, hazel. He says he forbids you to call him at the office. Mmhmm. Oh, that was sneaky right back in the bottle . Millie, please. Now mr. And mrs. Dunlap come in well, we talked it over during lunch. Yes, yes . Okay, hazel, ill tell him. Hazel says millie, please dont interrupt. But hazel says i dont care what hazel says. Im sorry, mr. Dunlap, you were saying . Well, we like the house, steve. The high ceilings remind me of our old place. So roomy. Well, good good and the grounds are beautiful. That lawn isnt that lovely. A gorgeous lawn. Oh, fantastic. What a fine putting green, huh . Uh, but say, if you play golf, theres a course less than 15 minutes away. It was finished about six months ago. Oh, excuse me. Uh, here are your vitamin pills, mr. Baxter. Hazel, for petes sake you must be millie. Would you mind getting him a glass of cold water . Sure, hazel. Glad to. Oh, you must be the dunlaps. I was hearing all about you at lunch and about the wonderful old house youre buying in your old neighborhood. Uh, well, we were thinking about it. But, steve, you didnt give me a chance to finish. We have decided against it. Against it . But you said that yes, i know, its a great house. Its a lovely house, reminds me of our old house. Well, then why heres your water, hazel. Oh, thanks, millie. Now, come on, take your pills. Not now, hazel. Go on and take them, mr. Baxter. Hes got a condition. Hazel take them, steve. Health comes first. You see . Oh, boy. The house was a little too much money for ya, huh . Oh, no, but where would we get servants in this day and age . Well, if that aint a coincidence. Im the head of an Organization Called the sunshine girls. And i could get you a cook and a housekeeper in nothin flat. Yes, i did. You aint hiding one under your tongue . No you know, come to think of it, maybe you folks would be happier in an apartment house. Hazel, what are you saying . dear, thats what ive been thinking. But weve never lived in an apartment house. Oh, its terrific no lawn to worry about. Im being stabbed. But we both like to garden. Oh, well, you can always get flowers in a flower shop. And another thing in an apartment house, youll always have somebody to talk to. Sometimes the voice comes right through the wall. But the best thing is that you never have relatives moving in on you. What do you mean . You dont have enough room. Not even enough room for someone to spend the night. Well, what will we do about the grandchildren at christmastime . Or thanksgiving for that matter. Oh, wed go out of our minds in an apartment house. Hazel, are you sure you could get us some help . Couldnt we, mr. Baxter . Well, i, uh. Okay, mr. Dunlap . Okay, steve. That was the smartest sales trick i ever heard. But i give you credit. U u know where we could put the spinet . Right over by the window. Barbara, we still have bills and a mortgage. Now, thanks to hazel, well be able to pay off a big hunk of them both. Even a secondhand spinet would be nice. Ill check the papers. Well, i put harold to bed, and i looked in on susie. Shes sleeping like a top. I cant understand why the folks call aint come through. Well, theres a time difference in baghdad, hazel. And they may have had some difficulty getting a line. Yeah, i suppose so. Darling, what time is it . Yep, thats right. Shall we turn in . I think so. How about you, hazel . Oh, no. I think ill stay up for a little while. Okay. Goodnight. Goodnight. Goodnight, hazel. Goodnight. Have they called yet . Oh, no. No, not yet. Are you gonna stay up any later . Yes, i think ill stay up for a little while, sport. Well, then im gonna stay up, too. I think we better wake them up, dont you think . Its after three. Oh, yes, i think wed better. [phone rings] baxter residence. Oh, yes, operator. Yes, ill hold on. Is it them . Yeah, its baghdad hot dog oh, hi, missy gee, its so good to hear your voice again. Oh, were all fine. Hows mr. B . Is he remembering to change his socks everyday . Well, give him my love. Oh, fine. Well, heres harold. You better make it fast, cause we gotta get everybody in in three minutes. Hi, mom hows baghdad . Guess what . We came over in a fire engine [ ] hey, opie. Where are you . Im out in the back here, dennis. Hey, opie, look at this swell clock we found. Hmm. Could you fix it for us . Yeah. Well, maybe, boys. Just leave it here and opie will work on it, as soon i get time. There sure are a lot of bees around here. Yup, i got me some hives, and im gonna make you have . Mmhmm. Boy, they sure do itch, dont they . Mr. Wilson got em last year from eating too many strawberries. And he oh, no, dennis. This is a different kind of hive. These are beehives. Oh, that kind of hive. Boys, boys, boys, dont go over there. Youre likely to make the bees nervous