We sure are. Youre our best friends, you know. In our hearts, you will always be our neighbors. When do you think youll be moving . Well, first of all, we have to sell our place here. Thats going to take a little time. Doll, you better put an ad in the paper. Yeah. Ill call right now. Okay. And, carol, sweetie, will you help me figure out the things ive got to do . My little head is just spinning. Of course. Ill be in as soon as i finish this sketch. And what can i say . Im so happy for you both. Oh, wilbur, youre a doll. Come on, carol, sweetie. Oh, my dear, i have to throw my whole wardrobe away. You know, like heavy orbachs league. Well, there go the addisons. ed laughs when do we break open the champagne . Ha ha. You dont know addison, ed. Hes a wonderful guy. Yeah, every time i bite into one of his apples and see a worm, ill think of him. You both have a perfect driving record. Perfect. No tickets. No accidents. Clips a food truck, ruining your perfect record. Yup. Now, you would think your Insurance Company would cut you some slack, right . No. Your insurance rates go through the roof. Your perfect record doesnt get you anything. Anything. Perfect for drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. And if you do have an accident, our claim centers are available to assist you 24 7. For a free quote, call Liberty Mutual at switch to Liberty Mutual and you could save up to 509 call today at see Car Insurance in a whole new light. Oh, boy. How long have you had this tree, rog . Well, let me see. 16 years. 16 years ago i planted it, and look how its grown. You know, its almost like a son to me. Well, sap is thicker than water. Yeah, boy, ive nursed this fella through windstorms, drought, frost, rains. Look at it. Grown into a strong, healthy tree. Careful. Youll wake up the termites. Kay addison, theres a man here about the house. Coming, kay. Hey, wilbur, youd better come along. This may be your new neighbor. It draws beautifully. door opens i see. Weve never had any trouble. Uh, mr. Douglas. Yeah . This is my husband. Oh. How are you, sir . How are you, mr. Douglas . And this is our nextdoor neighbor wilbur post. Mr. Douglas how do you do . Ill, uh, be frank with you, mr. Addison. My wife and i, have often driven past and admired this house. Uh, i told him how much we want for it. The price seems fair enough. Wonderful. Yeah. My husband will be finished with that letter of agreement in a few minutes. Fine. Fine. No hurry. Meanwhile, ill fix us a little snack. Ill give you a hand, kay. Oh, no, sweetie. You stay and get acquainted with your new neighbor. The reason i like this neighborhood is because its so quiet. Yes, its just like the country. If not for tv, wilbur and i wouldnt know what to do evenings. I hope you dont play it too loudly. No, no, no. Very low. Ill be honest with you, mr. Post. One of the reasons im selling my house is because of a noisy neighbor. I got tired of calling the police. I hope you dont have any dogs or cats or parrots. No. Just a horse. Hes very quiet. Walks around the barn in house slippers. You dont take anything seriously, do you, mr. Post . Youll get used to his sense of humor. I doubt it. By the way, mrs. Post, what time do you turn on your sprinklers . Why do you ask . I come home at precisely 6 00, and i dont like to risk walking on slippery pavements. Lawsuits can be very costly. Ive, uh, drawn up the letter of agreement, mr. Douglas. Oh, yes. Now, if youll sign right here, please. Thank you. Well, did you find you have anything in common . So far, just a wet sidewalk. Uh, here, uh. Heres my check as a deposit, mr. Addison. Thank you, and good day. Oh, dont get up. I can find my way out. Pardon me. Whats the matter, honey . Hmm . Oh, i was just thinking about our new neighbor. Were not gonna have much of a life after he moves in. Lights out at 10 15. Taps at 10 30. And if one of us should accidentally snore, well be arrested for disturbing the peace. But, honey, we cant stop the addisons from moving. No. I guess we have to be philosophical about this. Were not losing a friend, were gaining a warden. I wonder what he does for a living. Didnt roger tell you . Hes an inspector for the Internal Revenue department. Oh, great. Now if we brag about our furniture, our tax goes up. Hi, ed. Hi, wilbur. What is that . Who ordered it . I did. Its a farewell cake. A farewell cake . Ed yeah, for old addison. Thanks, from the l. A. Smog committee. Oh. Dear mr. Addison, your leaving solves the air pollution problem in our town. laughing it got a big laugh from the baker. Well, i dont wanna hear another crack out of you about mr. Addison. Is that clear . Oh. Okay. I wont say another mean word about that creep. Thats better. You know how badly i feel about roger moving. Sorry, wilbur. I promise to lay off him. phone rings hello. Oh, hi, kay. Yes. Yeah. Bring him on over to our house. Ill be right in. All right. Ed, the douglases are dropping by with their little boy to visit us. How about sending the little fella out here with me, wilbur . You know i get along great with children. Its a shame you never learned to love Roger Addison the way you love kids. I couldnt love that guy if he shaved off his moustache and began wearing rompers. Yes. Isnt it amazing how nice a room can look with inexpensive furniture . Wilbur, i want you to meet mrs. Douglas. Mrs. Douglas. How do you do . And you know mr. Douglas. Of course. Yes. Yes, thats right. Kay and this is timmy. Hello, mr. Post. Well, what a sweet little boy. Do you like horses, timmy . Oh, yes, sir. Look, if youd like to go out in the barn, you can play with mister ed. Hes a wonderful horse. Thank you, sir. My i get my toys from the car, father . Of course, son. Thank you, sir. And you play very nicely with that horse, timmy. Oh, i will, mother dear. Ill play very carefully. Good boy. Run along. Get your toys. Oh, he is polite. Yes. Oh, my. Such a wellmannered little man. You must be very proud of him. Oh, indeed we are. Come on, mrs. Douglas. I want you to meet carol. Youll love her. laughing youre a dead horse. I have a feeling im not long for this world. Hes not long for this world, either. Want some sugar, horse . Theres a lot of sugar in here. Look laughing just wait till i try this one on you. Ah, brother. I wonder how wilbur is making out with the father of this son of frankenstein. Mr. Douglas, wont you be seated, please . Oh. All right. Fine. I understand youre an inspector with the bureau of Internal Revenue. Thats right, mr. Post. It must be a very interesting occupation. Mr. Addison tells me youre a very successful architect. Successful . Well, i mean, what is successful, you know . What can be success for one man, on the other hand, thats failure for another, you know . I mean, you take my office out in back. Why, i have never deducted one penny for depreciation that i couldnt back up with receipts. Really . You dont believe me . Well, i can prove it. Now, last year, i had that roof fixed. Cost me 365 and 46 cents. No, but someday my case may come up before you, and i. Right here, now, i have all. All of the receipts. Every. Every. Oh. mutters sighing this is all. All of 1960 in. In here. I have 58 and 59. Really, mr. Post, i did not come here to examine your books. Well, youll find that im not a tax evader. I mean, there are people who deduct for gas and oil to and from work. But you said your office is right out in back. I travel. I travel. You see, right now, im building a house in arcadia. Thats. Thats 32 miles. I have a witness. Here. You can phone the witness. I have his telephone number. Really, mr. Post, ive got to be going. Ill go and get timmy. No, no. Ill get him. You stay right here. Ill get timmy for you. Dont worry about a thing. Ill get timmy. Oh, this is all 60. As i said, i have 61 begun back here. Very bad year. 53. Hey, stop that bless your little. Now, timmy, that is not a nice way to play with mister ed. How would you like it if i told your father . Go ahead and tell him. He wouldnt believe you. Im a good boy. Oh, where did that little green man come from, wilbur . Have we been invaded from mars . Ed, cheer up. Hes just a little kid. Maybe hell outgrow it. But will i outlive it . Wilbur, we cant let that babyface killer move in next door. But dont worry about it. The father is much worse. Carol and i are sick about it, but theres nothing we can do. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What about good old addison . Maybe we can get good old addison to stay here, huh . What do you think . Thought you didnt like him. Oh, i love him. I love him, wilbur. How can i show good old addison i love him, huh . Forget it, ed. Its too late. Wilbur, what in the world are you doing . Oh, just cleaning things up for you. Well, say, thats very nice of you. Well, the papers are in escrow, wilbur. Another 90 days, and im off to my castle on the hudson. Yeah. Hey, whats with mister ed . Take it, rog. What . Take the rose. Me . Yeah. Thats eds way of showing you he hates to see you go. Really . Oh, ed. Good boy. Well, hey, what do you know . Ive seen everything now. You can finish it up. Im tired. Oh, wilbur, dont forget to bring carol over tonight for our regular gin game. You know, were not going to be together much longer. Hey, thats right. Tonight, lets make the game a little bit different, huh . How . Lets not play with your marked cards. Come on, ed. Well, im sure going to miss these nice sociable evenings. I know weve said this before, but ill say it again. We certainly will miss you two. We feel the same way. Well, lets play, shall we . Lets break up the game for a few minutes and all have a good cry. Thats the way i feel. Im ready. Me, too. Whats the use of kidding ourselves, kay . My heart is not in moving away. Oh, doll, i was hoping youd say that. We can sell that White Elephant in new york and make a nice little bundle on the deal. Thats right. And living in california, half that money is legally mine. But what about this fella douglas . Ill take care of that right now. The papers are still in escrow. Ill just return his check, and well be right back where we started. Hello, mr. Douglas . Roger addison. Oh, im glad you called, mr. Addison. Id like to drop by tomorrow with my contractor. Well, he wants to measure the yard. Im having it cemented. Thats right. All of it. Youre removing my apple tree . Well, i certainly do mind. As a matter of fact, mr. Douglas, i called you to tell you ive changed my mind about selling my house. I know. A deal is a deal. Es, i know legally you can hold me, but. Hes not chopping down my tree. Ill call my lawyer in the morning and cancel the whole deal. But, doll, weve got his check. The house is his if he wants it. What do you mean . What are you talking about . Carol, we are going to invite the douglases for dinner tomorrow night. doorbell rings ah, come in ah, thank you. You look wonderful how beautiful, mrs. Douglas thank you, mr. Post. Come in, mr. Douglas. Thank you. Well, it was nice of you to ask us for dinner, mr. Post. laughs uh, dont mention it, doug, old boy grunts oh, my dear, you look ravishing. growling wont you sit down . Uh, y. Yes. Oh, that dress, mrs. Douglas. Youre being positively unfair. Please, doug, come on. Sit down. Join the party. Yeah, well, uh, i, uh. Allow me. Uh, thank you. Ill get my wife. Carol, baby carol ahh, shut up shes a little upset tonight. Oh . Is something wrong . Nah. She just burned the dinner. Burned the. I hope you two like hot dogs. Ho. Hot do. Oh, no. You see, im afraid my husband cant eat hot dogs. Oh, no. Theyre much too spicy for him. You see, he has a queasy stomach. Thats okay. These are queasy hot dogs. Hey, i hear my square neighbor just phoned you last night, huh . Trying to weasel out of the deal. Yes, but i intend to go through with it. I gave the man my check as a deposit, and i expect him to keep his part of the bargain. Look, uh, mrs. Douglas. Listen to that mrs. Douglas. How formal can you get, huh . chuckling whats your first name, honey . Hortense. Hortense. Horty, you, uh, do much sunbathing . Sunbathing . Oh, well, i. Im afraid we dont get to the beach very often. Aah, we dont, either. We just kind of lie around the backyard. Uh, you got a bikini . I dont allow my wife to parade her body in public. Oh, i agree with you. With a shape like hers, that isnt a parade, thats a procession. clears throat hey, uh, doug. How about a little snort before dinner, huh . Get us loose and the girls tight. We never indulge in alcoholic beverages. Thats all right. I dont think we have any left. Hey, lets get a little life in the party, huh . rock n roll chuckles keep punching, buddy boy. I got all my feet crossed. Baby hey, hey, hey. Man, this is the craziest. Bop that beat. Come on, daddy. Were gonna twist up a storm. I cant stand this. Youre right, daddyo. It is kind of draggy. I dig you, doug. Lets make our own music, pops. Crazy. Theres nothing like my babys music to get these feet going. Please, mr. Post. Please any requests, friend . The only request i have is for you to tell mr. Addison that im tearing up the escrow papers and stopping payment on my check. Oh, whats hurry . Dont you want some crazy black hot dogs . Hot dogs. laughs you did it. You did it. Wilbur, you were wonderful. Even i hated you. Twist anybody . Music, maestro. bagpipes wheeze oh, no. Well, do you feel any better now the mean little kid wont be living next door . I sure do. Then youll be happy with the same old neighbors, huh . Yes, sir. Ill take good old addison any day. Hes not so bad. Wilbur, that mangy old plug of yours has been swiping my apples again. He has . If he comes into my yard once more, your friends will be sending you sympathy cards. Good old addison. Good old addison. Ill keep saying it till i believe it. Good old addison. Good old addison. Good old addison. Once more. Uh, good old addison. Llllllllllllllllllllllllllllo. Im mister ed. A horse is a horse, of course, of course that is, of course, unless the horse is the famous mister ed boy, im fit to be tied. Mule head. Ah [sighing] [grunting] imagine that [grunts] the nerve of that editor. Guys like him ought to be shot. Im never gonna read his paper again. Ed, what are you doing . Look at that paper on the floor. Read that editorial. Humph