No place for equine in todays world. Hear what he called me . [chuckles] equine, uh, is just another name for horse. Well, i have another name for that editor. Jerk. Dont get upset. The man is just trying to make a sociological point. Yeah. Some nerve. Saying horses are useless. Ed. Its vicious propaganda. A smear campaign. Ed. I demand equal time. Ed, the man is just stating a few facts. Lets face it. Ththe cars replaced the horse in the city. Tractors replaced em in the country. No matter where you look, the horse is being replaced. Yeah . And what does matt dillon ride on . A gopher . Yyoure being a little too sensitive. Come. Well, sensitive. Ed, just look at your room arent you ashamed of yourself . You just calm down. How about some lunch . No way. I feel if i ate now, ill get an ulcer. Come on. Eat some hay. Im not eating a thing till you let me tell off that editor. Ed. Im on a hunger strike. If, uh, if youre on a hunger strike, why are you eating . You dont expect me to start one on an empty stomach. Look, you clean this room up. Wilbur, i need your help. You know that beach property i bought some time ago . Dont tell me. The tide came in. You want me to help you look for it. Just like you. I need help, and you throw me an iron life preserver. Im sorry. What can i do to help . Well, a bunch of teenage beachcombers have set up camp on my property and refuse to budge. Now, all day long they lie around playing records, uh, what do you think i ought to do . Join em. Sounds like theyre havin a ball. Im worried, wilbur. Now, these young beatniks are destroying the value of my property. And the worst part is, my wife will not let me chase them off. And you want me to talk to her . I very rarely ask a favor of you, wilbur. All right, ill talk to kay. Now, fine. Now put this on the basis of facts. You are an architect. You know the value of property. You can be very persuasive when you want. True. I dont have much luck with carol, but i do pretty well with other mens wives. What i mean im sure youve had a very exciting past, but tell me some other time. No. carol i think if we raise the hem about 2 inches, my dress would be in style again. Dont you think so, kay . Well, i dont know, sweetie. The way they keep raising and lowering the skirts these days, we might as well wear venetian blinds. [laughs] just tell her those beach lizards have no right squatting on my property. Theyre as good as unsquatted, right now. kay carol, this may be a little bit too short. But youre tiny. Maybe you can get away with it. Youll see. Thats right. And i think. Yes, what do you think, wilbur . I think that, um. Ii think, uh. I think that hem is much too high. Oh, but wilbur, theyre showing knees this year. Theyre also showing navel oranges. Honey, dont be so oldfashioned. Oldfashioned . I just dont like my wife parading her kneecaps in public. Dont you think im right, rog . Wilbur, the beach. On the beach, its all right to show your kneecaps. kay what a wonderful idea, carol. Why dont we all go to the beach this sunday . Oh, id love it we could lie around in the sun and yeah we could play records. We could build a bonfire. We could toast weenies. We could ride surfboards. What do you think, rog . Those words do have a familiar ring, dont they . [inaudible] uh, kay, uh, i was just talking to rog. And, um, he was talking about those kids that are camping on your beach property. Is this too high, wilbur . Uh, hmm. Ive got to show a little knee. Well, all right. But just up to the dimple. Wilbur, you were telling kay about those beachcombers on my property. Oh . Oh, yeah kay, i agree with rog. Those kids just dont belong thats just their trouble people saying they dont belong. Thats why those kids feel rejected. Kay, why dont you listen to an impartial opinion . Wilbur, what do you think . I think one of her knees is lower than the other. Oh its just the way im standing. Im through talking. Its time for action. Ill have them evicted by the police [phone ringing] hello . Oh, hello, buzz. Uh, 2 00 will be fine. Goodbye. [phone clicking] who was that . Buzz dixon. One of those beach kids. Hes coming by at 2 00 to ask you for a favor. Favor . What favor . Maybe he wants to build some units on your beach property. Wilbur. I know. Go home. Im gonna tell off that editor. Hello, operator. Get me smedley 34000. I said, smedley. S as in seabiscuit, m as in man 0 war, e as in equipoise. Oh ed, who were you calling . That smartaleck editor. Ed, i told you to forget about that editorial. How would you like it if somebody told you there was no place for people in the world today . Id become a horse. Look, ed, stop worrying about the editorial. Ill get you some more hay. I told you, im on a hunger strike. Come on, fella. Take my advice. Eat your lunch. Forget the whole thing. I gotta mail a letter. Can i get you some apples . Well, maybe a few pounds. We, uh, weve gotta keep up your strength up while youre on that hunger strike. Yeah. Thats thats right. Thats right. Wilbur, do you mind if i hide in your barn . Kay and those beachnik kids are looking for me. Oh, rog, look, if youre worried about selling that beach property, i think i may have a prospect for you. A prospect . Dont get your hopes up. I spoke to a client of mine. Hes building a house at the beach, and i recommended your property. Wonderful oh and if you close the deal, ill give you the customary 2 Percent Commission. Uh, dont you mean, the customary 5 Percent Commission . Well, its 5 percent when youre dealing with strangers. But since were friends, wilbur. Just call me mr. Post. Now remember, you dont know where i am, mr. Post. Oh, wilbur, wilbur. My pal, wilbur. kay hi, wilbur. Oh, addison. kay addison . Theyre just darling. This is my husband, mr. Addison. Hi, daddyo. How are you, sir . And our neighbor, mr. Post. How do you do . Mr. Post. And this is buzz dixon, and zelma beasley. Arent you a little early for trick or treat . Mmmhmm. Yeah, thats my husband. Always making little jokes. The littlest jokes you ever heard. I gotta mail this letter. This is for you, mrs. Addison. I painted it myself. Oh, thank you, doll. Oh, what a wonderful subject. Why, its, uh, uh, unique. Uh, i know just the spot for it over my fireplace. I know a better spot in the fireplace. Im a very busy man. What is it you came to see me about . Well, mr. Addison, we came to, like, ask a big favor. Wed like to put up some leantos, like, on your property, so we can make it like an art colony. Fine. Oh, gee we dont have that kind of money. Man, we dont have any kind of money. Addison, theyre not harming our property in any way. Thats right. Were not taking any sand, and the ocean is just where it always was. That happens to be a very exclusive piece of property. And no one is going to buy it if they find it overrun by a gang of waterlogged adolescents. There it is again. Rejection, rejection, rejection. buzz cast out by a world we didnt make. Youll be cast out by the police if you dont get off my lot. kay addison, please. Arent you kids being a little overdramatic . I mean, having such a pessimistic attitude at such a young age . Oh, we dig pessimism we love it would you want to, like, hear a poem zelma wrote . I think i can, like, resist the temptation. Uh, wed love to hear it, sweetie. If youll excuse me. zelma i call it rejected, neglected, buzz oh, its a gasser. A nothing, a zero, a hole in the cheese. The scene cant be made when youre in the deep freeze. Rejected, neglected, befuddled, bemuddled. The moment is wild, were blown off our course. Thats why our youth feels extinct like the horse. buzz do you dig it, pops . Id rather bury it. You take my advice, and vacate my property by midnight tonight. Gee were holding our first exhibit tomorrow. We sent out a lot of post cards. Do you think you could talk mr. Addison into letting us stay a few more days . Oh, ill try. Ive talked him into letting me stay 20 years. But youre not sure, huh . Im afraid i couldnt promise you anything. The story of our life rejection, rejection, rejection. Theres no place for us kids today. Oh, dear. Come on, kids. Ed, whats going on here . Just call me ed, the beachcomber. What started all this . Those kids that were here yesterday . Yep, were birds of a feather rejected, neglected, befuddled, bemuddled. What do you know . A beatnik horse. What, uh, got you started on this painting kick anyway . Its therapy to relieve my depression. Hmm. Well, lets, uh, have a look here, huh . Yeah, its, uh, its depressing, all right. Whats it supposed to be . Im calling it the horseless headman. A horseless headman . Thats right. The whole world is gonna be horseless soon. Look, i keep telling you thats just an editorial. Ed, therell be a place in this world for horses im real down. Beat, like, depressed. Neglected, rejected, befuddled, bemuddled. Boy i can see you need little bit of cheering up, ed. Come on. Lets just put these things away, ill take you for a nice ride in the park. Fresh air will do ya a world of good. What do you say, ed . Poem ode to life. Life is a feedbag without any oats, a stable as empty and bare. I search for the hay in an empty corral, but how can i find whats not there . Henry horseworth longfellow. Ed, i can tell by your attitude youre in no mood for a ride. So ill come back when youre feeling better. Thats right. Reject me. I am not rejecting you. Uh, holler but, like, dont hit. Im, like, not hollerin i just expect you to act like a normal, human horse. I dont have to stay where im not wanted. I belong with the outcasts. Wheres my hat . [waves washing on the beach] hey, thanks a lot. Yeah. Thanks, pal. Hey where did he come from . man i dont know. But he sure looks, like, way out. Whats the matter, fella . Are you lost . Id love to get him on canvas. Hed make a great subject. Man, hes crazy say, man, i think that horse reads us. Boy you said it, daddyo kay put it back, addison. Kay, you know this is a monstrosity. Oh, no, it isnt. Its a form of art. So is a shrunken head. But not in my living room. Uh, would you rather have my mothers picture back there . Id rather have a shrunken head. Hey where did you get my old ukulele . Oh, i found it up in the attic when i went up to get that picture frame. Yeah . Remember the last time you played it . The last [laughs] boy i know i was just a kid. We were both kids. [grunts] you used to play it at the beach, remember . Mmmhmm. [strumming] oh, those were the days. You used to call me legs mccarthy. Hmm. Remember how we used to sit around the campfire . Our whole gang trying to solve the worlds problems . We couldnt even solve our own. Your father wanted you to be a doctor. And you wanted what did you want to be, doll . Nothing. I just wanted to lie around the beach and rub your back. Know what you were, angel . Just a teenage rebel. Rebel . I was the whole confederate army. I guess every generation of kids feels rebellious and misunderstood. Yeah, i guess so. Youre pretty foxy, arent you . All right. Until i sell the property, the kids can stay. Oh, thank you, doll. Youre just a big, fluffy, old honey bunny. Yeah. Guess thats what i am, arent i . Kay, remember this . [doorbell ringing] ill get it, legs. Wilbur, my boy come in. Come in, boy kay and i were just recalling some of the old songs. Would you like to sing with us . No, thanks, mitch. Rog . Actually, ii dont feel much like singing, cause, see i just got some bad news on a business deal. Forget about business, wilbur. Its only money. What could be so important . Well, the client i had for your beach property just backed out of the deal. Ill kill myself roger, wait a minute. Like you said, its only money. Only money . What do you think i live for . Why did he back out, wilbur . See, now theyve made the place a hangout, he figures they may keep coming back. Im going down and drive those parasites off my property, lock, stock and sunglasses relax, rog. Why dont we sing some more of the old songs . Out of my way, legs all right, young man. Oh, hi, mr. Addison. Uh, hey heres the owner of this property. Get a shot of him. Never mind that. Hello, sir. Im with the valley globe. Are you the owner of this property . Thats right. Sir, you should be proud of yourself. You know, the kids here would be right back out on the streets if it werent for people like you. How do you spell your name, sir . Roger addison. Addison. Addison. Got it. Now, mr. Addison, have you always been interested in youth work . Youth oh oh, yes, indeed, i have. Yes, indeed. The welfare of our teenagers has always been a very deep concern of mine. That is why i have dedicated myself to making them feel wanted, needed, appreciated. Youre not writing. That our youth needs love and understanding. These boys and girls have been neglected much too long. Rejected much too long, befuddled much too long. Youve been out in the sun much too long. Come on, rog. Ill take ya home. Wilbur, please, im talking to the press. Cant you see . Now. To help them overcome this feeling of rejection, i try to give them a feeling of accomplishment by encouraging their art endeavors. As a matter of fact, i, uh, have one of their paintings hanging over my fireplace. Replacing a portrait of my beloved motherinlaw. Hey, thats pretty good. That fruit looks almost good enough to eat. That isnt a fruit, man. Thats a horse. A horse . Yeah. A palomino. Uh, withwith big dark glasses and a floppy straw hat . Yeah, man. Howd you guess . Oh well, if i were a horse, which way did he go . Over there someplace. Thank you very much. A kook. Ed, what are you doing out here . I dont like you running away from home. Why did you do it . Im extinct, wilbur. Useless. Ed, remember this anyone who is loved is never useless. Well, then you really love me, huh . Well, of course i. Ed, youre like my own kid. [chuckling] then take me home, daddy. Lets go. Youre late for work. You grab your 10gallon jug of coffee, and back out of the garage. With your wife watching. She forgives you. Eventually. Your insurance company, not so much. They say you only have their basic policy. Dont basic policies cover basic accidents . Of course, they say. As long as you pay extra for it. With a Liberty Mutual base policy, new car replacement comes standard. And for drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. Learn more by calling at Liberty Mutual, every policy is personal, with coverage and deductibles, customized just for you. Which is why we dont offer any offtheshelf policies. Switch to Liberty Mutual and you could save up to 509. Call Liberty Mutual for a free quote today at see Car Insurance in a whole new light. Boy just look at all this sand. Hold still. I want to get the dirt off your coat aw, forget it, wilbur. Lets send it to the cleaners. Youre in a pretty good mood now, arent you . [chuckling] yeah. Im glad you got over that rejection business. Yeah. Id look pretty silly lying on a psychiatrists couch. Ed, i want you to promise me that you wont run away from home again. Yeah. Uh, you wanna hear a little poem i just made up . Ok. [clearing throat] life is a feedbag, overflowing with oats. A bag that should never be shut. And a horse that would leave a sweet guy like you must be some kind of a nut. And jane wyatt. With elinor donahue, billy gray, and Lauren Chapin in father knows best. [margaret] hey. [jim] hi, honey. What do they make lipstick out of nowadays . Lead and linseed oil . Not on me, buds painting his car. Hi, dad ive got a little deal id like to talk over with ya. [margaret] well not in that chair, bud bud, why dont you use a spray gun to paint your car instead of dobbing it on with your shirt and jeans . [bud] who can afford a spray gun with my pitiful, measly, little allowance . I cant even afford a bud . Oh, too late. laughing [bud] im sorry, mom, gosh. [margaret] just leave it. [bud] but its not my fault, its dads my fault . Yeah, if i had a bigger allowance, i could put my car in a paint shop and then i wouldnt get paint on my hands, and then i wouldnt dirty moms refrigerator