To define who they are and get them primed and ready for their window of opportunity. I think id rather be married to 300 koreans. Then i could get my nails done whenever i wanted. Max, this is the real deal. The woman who runs it is a branding genius. She created the nike just do it. Oh, that woman didnt make up just do it. High school boyfriends have been using that for centuries. Youre still here whats it gonna take, another 10 . Hey, i dont need a seminar. I found a brand thats gonna get me richobnoxious okay, earl, how is cleaning your area coming along . Ive got decades of napkins over here with all my old ideas on them. Apparently, napkins were the old twitter. Hello. Could you tell the owner the Health Inspector has arrived . Oh, you are a woman. Thank you for noticing. Are you han lee . So where would you like to start . Sadly, the mens room. Ground zero. I will join you in a second. Is it miss or mrs. Rotello . Its miss. Thank you for asking. Ill see you at the toilets. Ground zero just got a lot nicer. Han, i think that Health Inspector wants to inspect you. Stop if she hears you, shell give me an f. I think she wants you to give her an f. Max, i paid you 90. Now, go here, max. Whats this . Thats how well make the 600 we need for the seminar. [ding, ding] i made flyers for a yard sale at kinkos. Wow, kinkos and yard sale in the same breath. Where do i keep finding this inner strength . [knock at door] hi, girls hey, sophie wheres all your junk . Oh, where it always is in my trunk [laughs] well, look here. I got a bunch of stuff that oleg wanted to donate to your yard sale. Aw, thats so nice of him. Oh, yeah, he doesnt know about it. Yeah, its all the stuff hes been leaving around my apartment. Hes getting way too comfortable, so. Sell it all yeah. [laughs] you probably can get a couple of bucks for his passport. Yeah, he paid 80 for it. Maybe hes leaving things around because he wants to take things to another level, maybe even move in. Oh, girl talk. Ooh shouldnt you serve me a cosmo like they do on television . Dont have any cosmos, as were broke and its not 1998, but. How about a pink cupcake . Oh, even better. Youre starting to have intimacy issues about getting close. Oh, come on. Save that garbage for your yard sale. Yeah, the man is just up there too much. I mean, hes down there when hes up there, but, yeah. Its way too much, yeah. Hes got to change, or hes out. Hey, thanks for the cupcake, max. And, caroline. I dont know what you add, but, yeah. Our yard sale is not quite all set up yet. Youre early. Our flyer said 1 00 to 5 00. Oh, i dont do flyers. Miss trudy, my card. This is my wife, miss trudy, and the birds name is scott. Dennis endicott the third, thrift shop scout and brooklyns crazy kitsch genius. Lord of the things. So, i have lots of classic couture pieces. You wont be disappointed. [scoffs] we went all the way to pennsylvania for a facts of life bean bag toss game. No blair [whispering] no blair. Just two tooties. Life just sucks it hard sometimes. Am i right, scott . So, on that chair are my things, and youll notice that theres a lot oh, i already did. 14 for all of it. 1,400, perfect hundred . Darling, 14. But this is all vintage. Vintage, or just out of season . Wait, is that a nugget buddy . Miss trudy, they have the cowboy. He loves the cowboy. I bet he does. Oh, i am so relieved. When we dont find anything good, he gets really mad. [whispers] at me. Im sorry, thats not supposed to be out. I cant break up the set. You have all ten nugget buddies . Yep, and every other happy meal toy since 1993. My mom used to take me there a lot. [laughs] well, she used to leave me there a lot, but same diff. 600 for the whole collection. Sold whoa, whoa, not sold. Max, come on, this is our future. Well, those are my past. No sale. Lets go, scott. This is tootiegate all over again. And you when we get home, you better put on the punishment pillow. Dont worry. I kind of like it. Well, so much for a horse in a hat being the weirdest thing in this yard. Phil oh no. under his breath hey man hey peter. unenthusiastic oh. Ha ha ha joanne . Is that you . Its me. You dont look a day over 70. Am i right . Jingle jingle. If youre peter pan, you stay young forever. Its what you do. If you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. You make me feel so young. Its what you do. Mastering irresistibly smooth. The lindor truffle. Created with passion. By the lindt master chocolatiers. A hard outer shell with a smooth center. Luscious. Flowing. Welcome. To the best time of youray. Unwrap. Unwind. Experience the melt. Only the lindor truffle. From the lindt master chocolatiers. Just two years ago is worth less than something that came with a dipping sauce a happy meal toy reminds people of a sweeter time, attention, attention i have something very important here. The results of your dna test proving your mother was asian and your father was a pine nut . No, we got our letter grade from the city Health Inspectors office. [gasps] whoo we got a b thats the first b i ever got i didnt have to french kiss for. A b . No, no, no, no this boy dont play with no bs. Im calling that little tease, miss jean rotello, right now. This isnt good. Asians dont do well with bs. At wharton, i got a b, and the japanese kid who sat next to me killed himself. Oleg, im kind of getting used to this look now. You kind of look like bin ladens ghost. Good night, girls. Im going to go over and spend the night at sophies. No, maybe not. Why would you say that . Its just, she might like a little space sometimes. She needs space . Did she say that . Not in so many words. No, those were the words. Look, sophie loves having you around. Its just, she told us that youre getting a little too comfortable there when she came over to sell all your stuff at our yard sale. I know how that sounds and yet, you keep going. Oleg, sophie is just feeling a little smothered. She feels smothered . Have you ever tried motorboating those cans of hers . Once, but i was very drunk at the time. Just make a few changes, and everything will be right back on track. And stop talking now. Make some changes . Thats all ive done for her. I changed my furniture, i changed my ways. I changed my underwear more than once a week. And no more changing for sophie. Im done changing. Im back, baby. Spread the word i think hes gonna be spreading more than the word. I want to kill someone why, did they cancel suite life of zack and cody . No, i just got off the phone with the restaurant inspector she answered her phone at this time of night . Come on, its not like she was out on the town. Han i think that b youre holding might stand for bitch. And she told me i got a b because of the conditions of the back room off the dishwasher area. I didnt even know we had a back room, did you . No, but of course theres a mysterious back room in this new upside down world, oh, there it is. I always thought that was the property of the bar next door. If we share a door with a bar, my breaks are about to get longer and drunker. Wait here, girls, while i push this rack away. [grunting] [grunting] p90x, dont fail me now im pretty sure this is what my soul looks like. Now im going to have to hire an emergency crew to come clean this by friday to get my a. Oh, damn it. I guess caroline and i can do it. Are you insane . Max, i cant. I havent worked on the railroads like you. Han needs his a, and we need the money for that seminar. Isnt this one of those windows of opportunity . 600. Forget it, girls. Look at these walls. I need professional steam cleaners. I have steam cleaned before. I mean, how else do you get malt liquor and blood stains out of a rented prom dress . Ugh, its so humid and damp in here. Now i know how balls feel. Let me just move this cord out of [electricity sparking] oh i just got a shock [laughs] no. A shock is coming home to find your mom in the tub with your tenthgrade crush. I should push these light cords back up over [screaming] uh, its a roach nest. [screaming] its okay, its okay, its okay, its okay, its okay its okay [whimpering] bad news, as i pull them out of your hair, theyre decomposing. [whimpering] are you crying . I cant do this. Not even for the seminar. Ill sell my happy meals. Max, you dont have to do that. As soon as the man with the bird gets here, youll be leaving my loving care and going out into the big, bad world. Shoes will step on you, and some real sickos may stick you in a trunk and drive you across state lines. [knock at door] hi, sophie. Oleg cheated on me, and im so [screaming] maaad [screaming] oh, i have to break things but everything upstairs in my apartment is too nice so. Run a tab, girls [screams] aah [screams] [screaming] i gotta break more things [screams] wait, dont break that box thats my happy [screaming] ohh. I feel better. I really do. Okay. All right. I think we just saw what it would look like if someone cheated on the incredible hulk. Hey, girls. [breathing heavily] sophies back. Spread the word max, look, your happy meal toys. Oh, look under the newspaper, theres some sort of stained glass window there. Aw, pretty oh, youre finally getting the money you wanted and youre so chipper. Im chipper, to use your word, because were working to earn money to move our business brand forward. Stop saying brand. And this seminar better be worth it. Why are you saying it like that . Seminar, with quotes around it, like its a silly idea or something. I didnt say seminar with quotes around it. You did. You said ooh ooh, sorry sorry i was trying to illustrate that you put quotes around it. I am too tired to put quotes around things, that word would be, seminar oh, and branding and i would put big, giant, dumbass quotes around branding seminar max, you did that on purpose oh, maybe it was just an accident stop stop youre spraying the light cord hello water and electricity, not the best combo like some other notgreat combos i can think of. Us . You mean us . What, now we are not a great combo . Oh, wow. Sorry i suggested we go to a quoteseminarunquote. Sorry im trying to move us forward. Sorry that you think you know how to everything. Sorry that you resent the fact that i know how to do business. Sorry that you think you know how to do business, and maybe thats why our First Business failed. Sorry that you took two weed breaks every single day instead of making work calls, and maybe thats why our business failed. Sorry that i didnt take more weed breaks, because i really could have used them working with a knowitall like you and sorry its my turn no sorry that you, also, had to stick your nose into oleg and sophies business, so that he cheated, and she got mad and then, by an almost irrefutable line of direct action, you killed my toys sorry that it doesnt mamaer how many things s ever did right because poor ittybittyy baby maxs happy meal toys got all broked [hose shoots] dont push me, max youre such a fan of branding, just do it. Have it your way. What happens in vegas, stays in vegas. Got milk . Got any other stupid Business Ideas . Stop [screaming] stop, stop, stop it, stop it i am done no, im done no, were both done fine, were both done done done no, im really done, max im tired of trying to make things happen im tired of pushing us into cupcake shops and im tired of you pushing us into cupcake shops too. Shops that we cocodnt afford in the first place. [electricity sparking] [screams] oh, my god oh, my god, max max, are you all right . Cpr, what is it . Do you do pinch the nose and breathe into the mouth . Wait, wait i think youre supposed to pump the chest first. Well, ill never get through those max, im about to put my mouth on yours, so if youre kidding you better wake up right now. [blows] [crying] max, please dont die. Please dont die. Youre my best friend. [blows] [gasps] sit up sit up, sit up are you all right . What happened . You grabbed that wire, and i think you got a little electrocuted. I always knew id be electrocuted, i just thought it would be in the chair. God, im so hot. I need air. Come here. The window, come on. Come on. Come on, over here. Here, kneel. [grunts] open oh, damn, there are shutters. Here, hold on to the wall while i get this. Are you okay . Take a deep breath in. Breathe in. Max, that was so scary. For a second, i thoughghyou died. Maybe i did, cause i kind of remember a place with flames. And you were making out with me. [chuckles] what is that delicious smell . [sniffs] the pizza place next to the bar next door. Oh, god, has a pizza ever smelled so good . Hey, what are you guys doing . Is that, like, a store or something . No. Holler. Wawa, caroline. This is our window of opportunity max, whax a great idea a cupcake walkup wiow . Youre a genius i just might be since i died so much less overhead. And this time well be starting at the bottom, so well have nowhere to go but up. Thank god i am so much more comfortable at the bottom [chuckles] hey, i have this weird feeling inside. Im mchapppp [laughs] hey, girls. Turning tricks in a window like they do in amsterdam . No, we think we found our new business. Sophie, this is the new maxs homemade cupcakes. Speaking of windows, thats olegs car, right . Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Well, some people open windows, some people smash them. [glass breaking] [upbeat theme music] here you go,arl. Table 12 throwing down a credit card on a patty melt. They really need those eight Airline Miles . Where they goingnew jersey . Credit cards are the downfall of america. Well, credit cards and kim kardashian. I like her big ass as much as the next man, but dont go give the damn butt a franchise. Max, i can take a lot. Please keep your sex life to yourself. I handled it when i lost my fortune, and i handled it when i lost my fortune. You said that twice. Because i think it bears repeating. But this is too much. That couple that just lele a 50 checec a 1. 47 tip. 47 cents . Uh, i wasnt even aware they were still making pennies. I smiled and bent over backwards, giving them service all for 1. 47 . This makes me the lowestpaid hooker in new york. Hey was something wrong with the service my girl over here gave you . No. Tippings an option. So is me spitting in your food. You might want to remember that the next time you leave a waitress pennies. Im sorry. I didnt know. This was our first and last date. Sorry, dude. Looks like this little tip st lost you the chance to give her your little tip. [grunts] ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh [cash register bell dings] ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh imaginina world where the only thing you had to wrestle for on thanksgiving was the last piecece of pumpkin pie and the only place we camped out was in front of a fire and not the parking lot of a store. At t. J. Maxx, marshalls and homegoods,