Text your vote in now, and tune at 8 00 7 00 central. Who knows . The next secretary of state could be you. [ laughter ] one of Donald Trumps potential attorney generals is reportedly already working on a plan to make muslims register with the government. Does anyone see a problem with that . Or do you nazi . [ cheers and applause ] Vice President joe biden and had lunch together this afternoon, and just to piss him off, biden told the waiter it was their anniversary. [ laughter and applause ] according to a new poll, almost 60 of americans believe donald trump should compromise with democrats. Like, instead of a wall at the mexican border, maybe a beaded curtain . [ laughter ] [ applause ] into space, and this is pretty amazing. She is going to do it without a rocket ship. [ light laughter ] just take off with rage. The mayor of london said recently that if people based in the u. S. Want to escape Donald Trumps administration, quote, london is open. Said melania, taxi [ light laughter ] actress Carrie Fisher revealed in her new memoir that she and Harrison Ford had an affair while filming the originalar but then he went back to using his hand solo. [ audience ohs ] [ applause ] denver has become the first city in the u. S. To permit the use of marijuana in restaurants. So if you thought it was hard to remember the specials now [ light laughter ] i think like a halibut. Crusted. [ light laughter ] and finally, according to a new study on migrating tree frogs wait im sorry. I could be wrong here but i think i smell some smoke and that can mean only one thing. Its time for ya burnt [ cheers and applause ] . . Seth welcome to the burn zone. Weve got a lot of topics to sizzle through but not a lot of time. Over here is the burner. Lets turn on the gas and load her up. [ sizzle ] woo watusi first up, family touch football. Family touch football. You know whats fun . A contact sport featuring people of different ages and skill levels. Heres a final score prediction. Six torn hamstrings, three broken relationships and one decadesold family secret that wasnt meant to be screamed. Youre out of bounds. You were adopted. [ gasp ] [ laughter ] also cousin tyler is six and he doesnt have any front teeth. Stop making him say mississippi so many times. Announcer side burn. Seth hey, family touch football. Blue 42. Ya burnt [ applause ] caramel apples. The perfect candy if you want to spend 10 minutes eating dessert and the rest of your life picking your teeth. But you know what they say, a caramel apple a day keeps the dentists kids in private school. [ light laughter ] and just because you put something on a stick doesnt make it fun. Dont believe me . Ask joan of arc. Announcer she burnt. [ audience ohs ] seth caramel apples, ye burnt. [ applause ] christmas music. November is only half over. Can we slow down . Nat king cole you have the voice of an angel but i dont want to hear a peep out of you until december 18th. Announcer your chestnuts just got roasted. [ laughter ] seth hey, christmas music, i know youre trying to be joyful, but it comes off a little sarcastic when you hear its the most wonderful time of the year while you drag your screaming toddler through a target. Do you know what would be a good Christmas Song . I will survive. [ applause ] pardoning turkeys. Good news, were going to save one of you. Bad news, the other 50 million members of your species can go straight to hell, i. E. My belly. What happens to the pardoned turkey the next day . You send him off to a nice farm somewhere, where the survivors guilt just gobbles away at him . You know who i bet doesnt love the tradition of pardoning turkeys . Innocent people on death row. Oh, quiet down, the president is making a pardon. Oh, its just another [ bleep ] turkey. Pardoning turkeys, pardon me, but ya burnt. [ applause ] ah, your parents house. You just finished thanksgiving dinner and now its dawning on you its not even friday and youre stuck here for three more days. How will we pass the time . I guess ill wrap myself in the worlds itchiest throw blanket and watch mississippi versus mississippi state. Oh, and you can change the channel if you can figure out which of the 8 different remote controls changes your parents tv. And dad, you turned my bedroom i cant help but notice you havent started a company yet. All i see is a dusty old compaq presario. Announcer it has intel inside. Seth yeah, you told me. Of course, if you really need to get out of the house you can always head to your favorite hometown bar. Aka the goatee museum. Hey great baseball caps, fellas. Im sure none of you are balding. Your parents house, just like that smell coming from the garage, ya burnt. [ cheers and applause ] thanksgiving table manners. Hey aunt judy, could you close yo theyre already mashed potatoes. You dont have to chew them another 50 times. Also, you just got here and your blouse already has gravy on it. Did you stop at popeyes on the way over to thanksgiving dinner . Thanksgiving table manners ya burnt. [ applause ] uninvited plus ones. Why are you here . Were gonna argue enough about politics without the jill stein voter cousin amanda met at burning man. At least hes better than her date from last year, the parolee who carved the turkey and said, [ light laughter ] uninvited plus ones, ya burnt. The rolls oh, no oh, no, the rolls, oh, no oh, no, i forgot about the rolls. Oh, no rolls, ya burnt. [ cheers and applause ] this has been, ya burnt. Well be right back. Oh no, we wont be right back. Weve got a great show for you guys tonight. Should have explained it to me. We have a fantti bad santa 2 kathy bates is here tonight. The fantastic kathy bates. [ cheers and applause ] she is the founder of punk band against me , and her new memoir tranny, an incredible read. Laura jane grace is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and then, im very excited about this, laura and against me are going to perform the track 333 from their latest album shape shift with me. Well be right back with kathy bates. [ cheers and applause ] . . Once i heard i was going to be a park ranger, i got really excited. Gabes obviously really sick. And theres a lot that he isnt able to do, and makeawish stepped in. We had to climb up the mountain to get the injured hiker. He fell from, like, a rock. Hes been the one that has been rescued so many times. Has helped grant the wishes of over twelve hundred kids so far. Get a new subaru, and well donate two hundred and fifty dollars more to help those in need. . Put a little love in your heart. . Just press clean and let roomba from irobot help with your everyday messes. Roomba navigates your entire home. Cleaning up pet hair and debris for up to 2 hours. Which means your floors are always clean. You and roomba, from irobot. Better. Together. . . Remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Its time to snap out of it. Hello moto. Snap on a jbl speaker. Hello moto. Moto is here. The new moto z with motomods. Save up to 400 when you trade in your old phone and switch to verizon. Mmm. I cant believe its so delicious. I cant believe it has 40 fewer calories than butter. I cant believe its made with real, simple ingredients. I cant believe were on a whale. I cant believe my role isnt bigger. Oh, its real. Real ingredients. Unbelievable taste. Go ahead, enjoy. [ 80s music ] anyone a beer . Make it a redds apple ale redds apple ale. . . [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Please give it up for the 8g band right over there, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] also, this is very exciting. We have our drummer tonights thats here tonight, against me . Atom willard is our guest drummer. Give it up for atom. [ cheers and applause ] and youre gonna see atom both behind the 8g drum kit and then later playing with the band. So were very excited about this. Also, for fans of the 8g band, you might have noticed recently that our fantastic guitarist marnie stern has not been around. That is because she has been out doing something even more important, which is having a baby. Which she just did yesterday, so give it up, everybody, for marnie [ cheers and applause ] and her beautiful baby wyatt n and im very so happy. I dont know if you can tell, shes representing late night with her late night tshirt there. And because that is in everyones contract. [ laughter ] you guys, our first guest tonight is an Academy Awardwinning and emmywinning actress you know from films such as misery, primary colors, and about schmidt. You can see her in the latest season of the fx series American Horror story, and her new film bad santa 2 is in theaters november 23rd. Lets take a look. Ah, we still got it, kid. Yeah, i guess so. It was always supposed to be this way, william. You, me. Or i [ bleep ] it all up. But even when i was in the joint, i thought of it. And i always had a drink on your birthday. January third. Seventh. August fourth. [ laughter ] fourth . And august. Ah anyway. Seth please welcome to the show, kathy bates, everybody [ cheers and applause ] . . . . Seth im so happy to have you here. I watch your show all the time. Seth well, thank you very much. Im a huge fan of yours, and this is very exciting for me because im a huge fan of the first bad santa film. Im thinking how can they outdo themselves the first time, and then they add kathy bates to the cast and that really is the answer right there. Thank you. Seth and you play willies mother. I do, sunny soke. And its sort of the like the moment when Sigourney Weaver sees the mother alien. Seth uhhuh, yeah. Yeah. Seth not a great mother. Not a great mother, no, no. Shes very shes foul mouthed. Shes very unpc, shes an old biker chick. Seth yeah, i mean i think we had to bleep you three times in the clip. I know. No, i was thinking, i was backstage saying, oh, gee, can i say that now on tv . [ laughter ] i was like, nah, i dont think so. Seth but its kind of nice because we actually sort of see where billys character became billys character because you see a mother like this. Yes. Seth and in the scene we saw, thats you guys sort of getting drunk in a van together. That must have been a fun scene to shoot. Yeah, we loved it. We actually did one take with the pink dildo, which was a lot you know it kind of takes poking fun to the nth degree, you know. Seth yeah. But we bonded, kind of, as a mother and a son, which we hadnt up to earlier in the movie. Seth and now i think the nice thing, too, is now whenever i see a pink dildo, ill think of christmas. [ laughter ] honey, if youre lucky, you might get one in your stocking. Seth thank you. [ applause ] moving . [ laughter ] do you know that happened to me once . Seth what happened . Oh, you want this is not the list of what we were supposed to talk about. Seth oh well please lets get off the list. This seems like a better list. So this was many years ago when i was dating kind of a rough guy. And so we were on our way to chicago and theres one of those stores where you can get the you know, the stuff. Seth yeah. And so we went to the hotel and i had it in my pocketbook and it went off. Seth okay. [ laughter ] we were in the elevator. [ laughter ] four of us and it was going [ buzzing ] [ laughter ] and it was new, so i didnt know how to turn it off. Seth right, yeah. Yeah, that was something. [ laughter ] didnt think you were going to hear that today, did you . Seth no i this is so much better. Im wondering, like, if that happened, if im in the elevator, is my first thought, oh, no, theres technical difficulties on the elevator. No, it was a dildo gone awry. It really was. [ laughter and applause ] seth no, nobody panic. No, no. Seth nobody panic, it was just a dildo. Long yeah. Seth i love that im like, absolutely, yeah, yep, i know exactly what youre talking about. [ laughter ] i got a punch card, if i buy one more, the next ones free. [ laughter ] yeah, you do. Seth thats great. So now you cant remember what you were going to ask me. Seth well i was going to ask, did you were you a fan of the first bad santa . Oh absolutely, i loved it. You know, its one of those movies where, you know, you come in in the middle and you think, i got in. Lets watch until bernie mac throws that kid out of the you know. You know, i just loved it so much that when they asked me to do it, i said, where do i sign up . Seth and its really you know, billy bob was here last night and its become like an actual holiday classic that people, i feel like, you know, watch with children that probably shouldnt be watching it. Oh i hope not. Seth oh, no, i think a lot of kids accidentally see that movie way too young. Oh, you do . Seth i do, but i think thats okay because we live in a world now where the faster you learn [ bleep ], the better. [ laughter ] no need to no need to be loose with it. Also, congratulations. This is is this y story . Yeah. Seth this must be such a great [ cheers and applause ] its been great. Seth and again it seems like when you work with great actors or a great show creator like that has, it must always be exciting, but for you guys, the fact that you change every year. As an actor it must be great to just have a completely different role. Its great, its great. I remember when we were doing hotel and stefani i call her stefani, lady gaga i turned around to do a scene with with blue glasses on sniffing me and i thought, who is that . Then i went, oh, thats finn. Thats finn wittrock. Because you dont see people getting ready for the show so seth that must be really cool. Its a blast, you know. And each season is so different. Seth and here is your look this year, which is just fantastic. Yeah [ audience oohs ] seth thats full full really creepy. Yeah, the butcher. Seth the butcher. And you have like a when you create an accent like you have this year, because its a very memorable accent, is that something you have to work a long time on or do you just of stumble upon and go, no, this is her. No, no, no, i worked with liz himselstein, who is a brilliant dialect coach. Seth oh, wow. Yeah, we studied the guy on the witch, the movie the witch. We loved the guy that was the father so theres a yorkshire dialect so we worked really hard on that. Seth thats great. Thats nice. [ in yorkshire accent ] seth meyers, you must come and smell the blood. Seth yeah. And consecrate the land. Seth yeah, no, thats very unsettling. [ laughter ] now tell me in that voice that you got me a pink dildo for christmas. [ laughter ] if youre a really good boy ill give you a pink dildo for christmas. [ laughter and applause ] crazy, crazy, crazy. Seth now, i feel a lot of us were first introduced to you in the film misery, which was again, a fantastic film. [ cheers and applause ] you were terrifying in that role. Thank you, thank you. Seth and i have heard tell that men will still, because of what you did to james caans ankles when sometimes guys wi see you. Yeah. Seth and you have something to say to them, yeah . Yeah, its really boring. Seth yeah. Im over it. Seth youre over it. Im glad youre sitting back behind that desk though, arent you . Seth yeah, i am. [ laughter ] i do feel a little tingle oh, you do . Seth and so that but thats the movie like after that movie, that was when people knew who kathy bates was. They did. They did. That was very lucky. Seth and when did you know right away . Because you so you have an oscar yeah, it was like overnight. It was unbelievable. Okay, i have to tell you this so the very next day, i got a call, i was supposed to do a little part in a film in chicago and at first i was like, ah then i see my oscar and i think, eh, did i really want to go do that little part in chicago . Seth right. And i kind of thought, okay, come on you have to. They call me and they say, well, instead of a town car were going to send you a limo. Seth oh, wow. And were going to give you an extra room at the hotel. And my husband said, what do you need an extra room at the hotel for . I said, well, its for my assistant. He said, well you dont have an assistant. I said, shut up, its just a really nice thing. [ laughter ] so, i go to chicago. Its a night shoot. Alec baldwin, right . And six to six in the morning. Were walking to the set, everybody is screaming for his autograph. Seth sure. Theyre screaming for mine. Seth oh, it was the first time . Like that. Seth first time theyve screamed for you. Oh, my god. Everybody. And i ran across. We all did autographs and stuff so i was like, kind of you know. And then i go back to my trailer. I had my little dog with me. It was about 2 00, and i had to take him out to do his business, and so i opened the door and i said, i have to take my dog out and they said, mrs. Bates you cant go alone, you have to seth wow. And i was like, shut the front door. [ laughter ] seth yeah. Okay . Only three more and ill be like madonna. So i went with my little dog, and i had forgot to take something to clean up after him. And my mind was racing and i thought, this bodyguard is going to call the tabloids and make a lot of money and tell them im a slut and im filthy and all of this stuff. [ laughter ] so i was desperate and i saw a piece of paper on the ground, and i picked it up, and it had my autograph on it. [ laughter ] seth what a it did. It did. It did. It was like, you know it was like, god saying, settle down. Seth right. Just settle down. And i used it. Seth really . You used it to pick up thats a good yeah, like autograph down. Seth yeah, thats great. I did, i did. Seth and now your dog wont go to the bathroom unless you sign a piece of paper. [ laughter ] unless you give him an autograph first. Damn, youre good seth well, let me tell you something what . Seth because i want to ask about this, have you noticed wanted autographs have you noticed now no one wants an autograph anymore . All anybody wants is a photo of you, right . A selfie. Seth yeah. Yeah. Seth and i must be i even think now if somebody was like, look i got an autograph, no one would care. They wouldnt care, no. Seth they just want a picture. They want a picture of them with you so they know youre captured forever in that moment in time. Seth the bummer, and i dont know if you feel this way because i feel like when you sign an autograph, you can actually talk to people and ask them a question or whatnot and you cant do that when a picture is going down. Like theres just too much business with a picture. Oh, i talk to people. What, you dont talk to people when they [ laughter ] mostly because i dont heres why you dont hear them . No, i dont want a picture where im answering a question. Its like [ laughter ] oh, no. Seth i have to be very still. I just talk to them afterwards. I talk to them afterwards. Seth but what if theres someone else who wants to i feel like, i dont know. What . Seth if you take one picture then somebody else wants one. I i do it, kathy dont look at me like that. [ laughter ] well, youre a lot more famous than i am. Youre a lot and theyre waiting for you outside, you know that after the show theyre going to be there. Seth look, let me tell you this, take your dog out around 30 rock and youll find hundreds of my autographs to pick up. So, this is very exciting. You got a hollywood a star on the hollywood walk of fame. I did, yeah. Seth congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Seth but you you have actually been youve been outside manns chinese theater as a kid. Yeah. Seth very close to where the star ended up. Is this true . Yes, thats true. I was with my beloved aunt lee. Id go to visit her in l. A. And its i have a photo from 1956 when i was eight years old, right in front of graumans. S look at you guys. [ audience aws ] i know. Seth so where were you my star is like 20 yards that way. Seth thats great. Right in front of the souvenir store. Seth really . Yeah, next to patti mcdaniel. Isnt that cool . Seth thats a good one to be next to. Here you are the day it happened and there billy bob is there with you. Yeah, billy bob and my friend shirley. Seth thats great. Isnt that nice . It was a great day. Seth did you have other people come . Yeah, i ahd all my friends from college, you know, from back in 1965. Seth wow. Seth where were they where was that . Well, we went to spagos, we went to the Beverly Hills hotel. Seth so you did it up . You did a full hollywood yeah, but mainly we sat, you know, on the terrace at my house and just got drunk. Seth oh, thats good. [ laughter ] yeah. And we reminisced about all the times we got drunk back then. [ laughter ] seth its funny how drinking makes you want to talk about the times you were drinking. I know. Seth wait, what time in the day did you do it . Is it like early drinking or [ laughter ] seth no, well, yeah what time is okay . Im having an argument with my wife about this. When is it cool . Well okay, what we say at my the yard arm somewhere in the world. Seth oh, well thats good. I will use that and my wife will immediately say, where did you get that from . That does not sound like you. Okay. When did what . Seth so what time of the day did they actually do the ceremony where they put down the star . Oh, it was in the afternoon, yeah. Seth okay, good. It was around 12 or something. Seth thats really great, and you look fantastic. Oh, well thanks. Thanks. Seth thats a great photo, well done. Thanks. Seth yeah, congratulations. I appreciate it. [ applause ] seth this is very exciting, as well, that you are doing a comedy coming up. Seth whos both fantastic. Theyre creating its this sitcom called disjointed. Seth thats great. And its about a woman whos been a cannabis lawyer and a cannabis activist ever since she was 16 and shes got one of those pharmacies, those, you know, things, dispensaries in a strip mall. And i have these amazing kids in their 20s that you have never heard of, that you are never going to forget after you see this show. Theyre amazing. We had our first night. Jimmy burrows directed the pilot. Seth oh, thats great. A legend. Yeah, we had our oh my god. Its been so long since ive been in front of a live audience. Seth when was the last time you did stand up . Oh god, i cant even remember, it was probably before you were born. Seth okay, gotcha, great. [ laughter ] and it was just great. It was so great. I just felt like id come home. You know . I feel so lucky seth thats fantastic. And when will we be seeing it . Its on netflix in july. Seth oh, thats great. I cant wait. And its such an honor to have you here. Aw, thank you. Seth ive been a fan for a really long time and i really thank you. Seth appreciate you taking the time to do this. [ cheers and applause ] kathy bates, everybody. Bad santa 2 is in theaters november 23rd. . . Come on why doesnt verizon offer unlimited data like tmobile . Is it because their lte network was built six years ago . Six years ago . Thats like a hundred. In phone years their lte network is older, slower and they limit you. Switch to tmobile, the newer, faster and unlimited network. We cover 99 of the americans verizon covers. And well give you 800 to spend anywhere you want. During the ford year end event, discover why ford is americas bestselling brand. Awardwinning value. And the highest owner loyalty. Giving drivers what matters most. Thats how you become americas bestselling brand. During the ford year end event get an extra thousand dollars black friday bonus cash on top of all other great offers. Its an amazing time , thats lovely. So graceful. The corkscrew spin, flawless. His signature move, the flying dutchman. Poetry in motion. And there it is, the baby bird. Breathtaking. A sumo wrestler figure skating . Surprising. Whats not surprising . How much money heather saved by switching to geico. . . [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. We have more guests to get to. But first i actually have to do a very quick live ad for one of our sponsors. So give me a second here. All right. We good . Okay great. To get Auto Insurance on my 1995 chevy lumina. I dont know what to do. Yeehaw seth that can only be one person. Its the sheriff. The spokesperson for sheriff Auto Insurance. Howdy, partner. Whats all this hullabaloo about, seth . Seth oh, sheriff, i need Car Insurance, and fast. Well, if you need Car Insurance then why dont you go to the sheriff Auto Insurance. Com and get a free quote today. Oh, seth. Your driving record is no problem. The sheriff will hook you up with sr22 vehicle liability Auto Insurance. Which is perfect for a butterfinger like you behind the wheel. Seth oh, sheriff youre always giving me a hard time. [ light laughter ] but wait. What if i dont have a lot of cheddar in my piggy bank . No problem, hombre. Our rates and payments are low and we offer special discounts to save you money. Seth well that sounds great, sheriff. F sheriff and save some time. Seth all right, give it up for the sheriff, everybody, from sheriff Auto Insurance. [ cheers and applause ] so moving on, im not sure, but have you guys seen hey, seth. Seth uh, yeah, sheriff . Did i forget something . No, no, no, no, i just wanted to ask you something. Seth sure. I was wondering, how much skirt do you get with this job . Seth sorry . Dont be bashful, playboy, you must have to beat them off with a stick. Seth im sorry, sheriff, but im a married man with a kid. Oh, yeah i was married once. Didnt work out too well. Seth okay. Yeah, it was no good in the marriage department, if you catch my drift. Seth yeah i think we do. Do you . [ laughter ] seth yeah, we do. I had sex with a woman who was not my wife. Seth okay, you know what . [ laughter ] sheriff, look, you know, the live ad is done now. Weve done what were contracted to do. I think maybe its time for us to move on with the show. Oh no, seth. Im sorry, man. I dont know where my head was at. Seth no, its okay. Hey, remember the jingle . For an awesome low rate you can get online, come to the sheriff and same some dimes. Seth okay, thank you, sheriff. All right. So moving on with the show. Theres this brand new thing where hey seth, what are you doing this weekend. Seth i dont know. I was just going to hang around the house. Why dont you come up to my lake house . Seth yeah, no, i told you i have a family. Ditch em, bro. We can go out on my pontoon cant. Hey, to sweeten the deal, i know some chicks that would love to get down and dirty for a celebrity like you if you know what i mean, seth. Seth yeah, i do. Do you . Seth yes. [ laughter ] yeah, we all know. Please dont explain it. They want to have sex with you because youre on tv. Seth thats enough, sheriff. Come on, seth. Cheat on your wife. Be somebody. [ laughter ] sex stuff. Oh, i see, seth. Maybe you want to have sex with my horse. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] seth thats disgusting. What do you think, seth . You like what you see . Seth all right, thats it. Sheriff, you and your gross horse, get out of here. For an awesome low rate you can get online, anonymous sex is divine. Seth get out of here lets book it. Yeehaw seth well be right back with Laura Jane Grace everybody. [ cheers and applause ] . . Remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Hello moto. Snap on a jbl speaker. Put a 70 screen on a wall. Get a 10x optical zoom. Get excited world. Hello moto. Moto is here. The new moto z with motomods. Save up to 400 when you trade in your old phone and switch to verizon. [ 80s music ] redds apple ale. Also for a limited time in ginger apple. . . As soon as i became a parent i changed as a person, drastically. . . I tried hard to quit smoking. . . But when we brought our daughter home that was it. . . Now i have nicoderm cq. The nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release Technology Helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. Can you say thanks nicoderm cq . Every great why needs a great how. This piece is so you. I saw it and i was just like oh, i have to have it. State farm knows that every one those moments, theres one of these. This piece is so you. I saw it and i was just like i have to have it. From renters insurance. To rewards credit cards, state farm is here to help life go right. . . Is that coffee . Youre ready. . . Get ready to experience a cup above. Is that coffee . Nespresso. What else . Nothinseafood celebration. Lf like red lobsters holiday so try new dishes like the new grand seafood feast, with a lobster macandcheese topped lobster tail. Come treat yourself to feast fit for the season before it ends. Neil lane designs jewelry for hollywoods biggest stars. And, with his vintageinspired collection at kay jewelers, he designs them for you, too. The inspiration for this ring goes back almost 100 years. Its based on an art deco design. Over 50 diamonds, all handset. You know the saying, e bridal. At kay. The numberone Jewelry Store for. Yes. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is the lead singer of tonights fantastic punk band, against me her new memoir tranny confessions of punk rocks most infamous anarchist sellout is in stores now. Please welcome back to the show Laura Jane Grace, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] . . Seth thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. Seth as you know, im a huge fan. And thank you for doing double duty and both talking to me and then playing with the band later. I appreciate it, yeah. Seth so this book is fantastic. Its because you used tons of your old journals. I did. Seth youve been someone who has saved journals your whole life. When was your first journal entry . When i was 8 years old. I my father was in the army and was stationed in italy, and he had to do a Training Exercise in germany, so my schoolteacher impressionable trip and i got a really good grade on the journal that i kept. And i just kept keeping journals from there. Seth its impressive because that was a thing there were so many points in my life where i said, im going to start keeping a journal. And when i look back, all those journals have one and a half entries and then just tons of blank pages. And so but theres really no real major gap in your life when you werent doing this. No, i mean i definitely lost a couple journals along the way when i was younger. But from when i was, like, 16 until now, you know, like, i boxes sitting around that ive had to haul around with me everywhere ive moved. Seth as you so was this nice, like, getting your journals on paper in a book that now people can own . Now are you getting rid of those journals, or are you still saving them all . I plan on burning them. Seth okay, yeah. A nice big bonfire. Seth a nice big bonfire. So this book both charts your career as a musician, but also about being a transgender woman and transitioning. What was very fascinating to me might not fully understand this, which is why the journals you have are so great is this is something that you are identifying as at a very young age. Right. Well, i mean, you know, at a young age i didnt have the words for it. Seth right. I didnt probably hear the word transgender until i was like, i dont know, 19 or 20 or Something Like that. So its really like it took me a long time to come to understanding, you know, things about myself. Seth and going back, was it did you find it helpful, or what did you feel as you realized, oh this is something. Taking for a really long time. I mean, you cant help but see it all just laid out there for you. You know, cause its plain to see. And you see the cycles you were locked in. You see the coping mechanisms you used. And you cant deny it, just cause its all there on paper. Seth now obviously you live in this punk community. And you write that like, there was sort of a great awareness of queer culture but not really of the transgender not like gender identity. Do you feel like now because of bit . Well, not just because of myself but because of so many other people doing that work to raise awareness. But it really is a problem of a lack of education. I mean if you think back to school and what sex ed was and how much of a joke that class was. There was no genders studies class or anything like that, and people have a hard time still understanding the difference between Sexual Identity and gender identity. Seth yeah, sex ed was a huge waste of time. Yeah, pretty much. [ light laughter ] seth i remember them showing us how to put a condom on, on like a wooden dowel that was likein remember everybody thinking, oh no. Is that what normal is . Because we all have a huge problem. [ laughter ] you also, as i mentioned, you write about this very thrilling and exciting career being in a punk band. You have obviously played some very dodgy venues over the years. Do you have a personal least favorite . You know, we have, like, played every type of venue from stadiums to we played a Subway Restaurant one time, to like barns on a farm. Seth wait, when you play a subs expecting to see a punk band . [ light laughter ] no, but its a nice surprise with their meal. Seth i do want everyone who might not be familiar with against me s music, when theyre playing a couple minutes from now, think of yourself at a subway and hearing it and not expecting it. [ laughter ] smell the bread. Smell the bread. Seth yeah. But you know, i think one remarkable place we played in our early days, especially touring in europe, we played a lot of squats. And i remember one tour we were touring in poland and played in gdansk. And before we went there we had been warned by a band a week by gunpoint going there. So we were a little sketched out going into it. Seth sure. And like, you know, driving up to it, it was just it looked like a bomb went off, and theres all these bombed out buildings and then theres the squat standing in the center of it all. And there was no electricity, the show was run by a generator. No Running Water or anything like that. And theyre showing us around the squat, and they take us up on to the root and theres like crates of rotten eggs and crates of empty bottles, and were like okay, well what are those for . And theyre like, well every once in awhile the junkies in these surrounding buildings will cause we have the nice squat so we have to defend our squat. [ laughter ] seth you realize what the level is at where the nice squat has rotten eggs. Right. But i mean those are the shows you remember. No one wants to hear about the time you played at the house of blues in south carolina. [ cheers ] seth well also although they did. [ laughter ] we didnt hear from our polish fans earlier. Gdansk must not be in the house tonight. So, but its interesting and i guess being theres a sense to me seems to me, i should say. Theres a real authenticity. Punk fans want authenticity from their punk bands. And punk bands must want the authenticity of rooms that feel punk. And it seems like your career has like so many of those. Well, it teaches you. You have to transcend the room. Seth right. Its about a connection with the audience. And some of those shows where theres the gnarliest venues, those are the best shows because kids go off. And thats what you want. Seth and did you did you find that after you came out, did your fan base change at all . For sure. I mean, like, coming out was a real, like, line in the sand. Where after that anyone who is at an agains me show, it was safe to assume, was on the same page as me. And was accepting of that. So it really lended itself to creating a safe space. And i mean it was like, you could tell it like after the show where youd see like venue staff in a good mood. Where usually the venue staffs like, all right, youre done, get out of here. You know . Seth right. And theyre like, that was great. Your fans are great. That was so much fun. Seth oh, thats fantastic. Because obviously tranny is not a term that i feel is embraced by the community at all. What made you choose a term like that to be the title of your book . I mean, you know, i hate that word. I definitely dont identify with that word. I dont like hearing it used for other people. Its almost mentally taxing to look at my book in ways. But it captures a lot of what the book is about. And a lot of what the book is about is about internalized transphobia and selfhate. And thats an experience that i theres a certain amount of reclamation with that. Theres a certain amount even with the subtitle of, you know, saying the thing about yourself that you fear the most or you hate the most before anyone else can say it. But again you know, its dont judge a book by its cover. Just read the book, and hopefully youll see why it fits. Seth i certainly hope people do. I also want to ask, you have a sevenyearold daughter. Is she seven . I do, yeah. Seth and so im wondering, a 7yearold daughter of lead singer, creator of this fantastic punk band. Um, you know, she likes it enough but shes definitely over the show experience. Seth okay. Shes not very interested. Seth just jaded by being backstage at a punk show. Yeah, you know. Being on a tour bus does not impress her. Not at all. Seth i just feel so bad for the rest of her life that people will try to impress her and shell say, yeah, no, i have been in places where they throw eggs off buildings. [ laughter ] but how cool is that . Seth it is pretty cool that shes already over that sort of thing. And she can say like, oh yeah, the first tour i did, it was with the cult. So this album we were talking backstage. So your book coming out now. Album came out two months ago. Youve been touring with it. How does it feel to tour with a new album for the first time . Is that an exciting thing . I mean, its great. You know what i love though . Is that like, i have a book out. I have a record out. And its like ill do these interviews, and the journalists will be like so you got a book, you got a record, what else have you been up to . Seth right . Its like, jesus. Im working so hard. Please. Statue . I dont know what to tell you guys. I did two things. Its true. You always get what else are you up to . Yeah. Seth ill do interviews, and people will say, so with the talk show, are you doing any movies . Im like, no. Im not doing any movies. Also nobody wants to see me in a movie. [ light laughter ] id watch. Id watch. Seth thank you so much for being here. Thank you for sticking around. Cant wait. Its always a pleasure to have you here. [ cheers and applause ] Laura Jane Grace, everybody. Tranny is in stores now. Well be right back with a performance from her band against me [ cheers and applause ] what if a company that didnt make cars made plastics that make them lighter . The lubricants that improved fuel economy. 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Switch your family of four to tmobile z26zqz zvpz [ cheers and applause ] seth back to perform 333, give it up for against me [ cheers and applause ] . . . . . Feeling like i need to fall down some stairs maybe lay face down in the river and float . . Perfect weather for a head wound or studying sophisticated nuances . The bomb all reasons to be fearful but every new to wake up . . 333 say that they knew me 333 bring it all back to me . . All the devils that you dont know can all come along for the ride . . Wanna be as close as i can get to you . . All the devils that you dont know for the ride . . Wanna be as close as i can get to you . . . . . . . . . . I saw the renowned orders of the night in person . Planned views and elevations walking through your tarot garden . . Visible mutations fading right before your eyes cycles of death and regeneration sensations of . . Absence and loss wish you had been there by my side to see it all . . 333 say that they knew me 333 bring your love back to me . . All the devils that you dont know can all come along for the ride . . Wanna be as close as i can get to you . . All the devils that you dont know can all come along for the ride . . Wanna be as close as i can get to you . . . . . . . . All the devils that you dont know can all come along for the ride . . All the devils that you dont know can all come along for the ride . . All the devils that you dont know can all come along for the ride . . I wanna be as close as i can get to you . . . Seth against me , everyone. The new album, shape shift with me is out now. The average age of a homeless person is 9 years old. My dream is to help kids living on the streets with education. Charles whats up man . Whoa how can we help . Ah man wait, is that a basketball player . Yes wow my hearts about to jump out my chest man. Charles you ought to be proud man. Im just extremely grateful they were here giving them some encouragement e his big old feet . Look. Whoa. Arizonan paul ramirez is a threetime state champion auctioneer. Looks like hes sold on casino arizona. Ramirez auctioneer speak do i hear 9. 9. 9. 900 . Where locals rule. Play now through december 27th during our 250k cash dash. 40 winners will get their shot at up to 250,000 in monday and tuesday drawings. What do you think of that, paul . Sold. Sold. Sold figured hed say that. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to kathy bates, Laura Jane Grace, against me , everybody. Atom willard, the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. [ cheers and applause ] . . . . Carson whats up guys and gals, youre watching last call from skylark right here in new york city. Tonight weve got a Little Something for everybody. Including hard rock, courtesy of