Treading water in midtown manhattan . The thing . Hell sink like the rock he is, and, yes, i know the thing is marvel, but who cares, well all be drowning. Except for me, i can swim for hours without getting tired. Thats what i do. So, again, trump, you have aqua mans gratitude. Now, if you will excuse me, i have to use the bathroom. I just did. Thats whats great about being aqua man, the whole world is my toilet announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight stephen welcomes kevin hart, Ali Wentworth, and musical guest the war on drugs, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey hey whats going on . cheers and applause band playing hey welcome to the late show, everybody so glad youre here. Im your shows Stephen Colbert. Its great to be back. We were off for a week. I didnt miss anything, did i . laughter well get to the news in a second, but youre here on a special night. Anybody see wonder woman this weekend . cheers and applause yes. Yes. Its amazing, incredible. I havent seen it. But tonight, in honor of the biggest movie in the world, our audience is entirely half filled with women. cheers and applause piano riff thats right. Its exclusively half women. Also important, the white house announced today that theyre kicking off infrastructure week. Its like shark week except american infrastructure might actually kill you. laughter piano riff and it started with trumps plan to turn the air Traffic Control functions of the f. A. A. Into a nonprofit corporation. Although, to be fair, any Company Trump runs is eventually nonprofit. cheers and applause piano riff its so nice that we have trump fans here laughter and trump defended the plan. Were proposing reduced wait times, increased route efficiency, and far fewer delays. Our plan will get you where you need to go more quickly, more reliably, more affordably. Stephen plus, more leg room, and the whole can of apple juice laughter whole thing. Not the glass. Tip it over, spills in your lap. Two stars. No ice. applause trump also bragged about how great the new system will be. The best equipment anywhere in the world. Therell never be anything like what were doing. And other systems are very good. I wont tell you the names of the country, but we have studied numerous countries, one in particular. Stephen wait, why wont you tell us the country . laughter youll tell the russians about israeli intelligence, but you wont tell us what countrys good at landing planes. applause i dont understand why that can cheers and applause piano riff there cant be any scandal. Its a compliment what are your yelp reviews like . Great meal. Five stars. You got to try it. I wont name the restaurant. laughter applause no, huhuh, wont name em. Huhuh. What country could it be . if he wont name it, its got to be some exotic, faraway land full of adversaries who are hostile. Canada is an example modernized their air Traffic Control through a Nongovernment Organization about 20 years ago, and they have cut costs significantly, adopted cutting edge technology, and handled 50 more traffic. Stephen 50 more traffic. Yes, i wonder why there are so many more people flying to canada these days . applause one way ticket. Jon one way district . Stephen i like it here, though. I like it here a lot. piano riff but if theyre going to be a nonprofit, our air Traffic Control is going to have to do some fundraising to make ends meet. And im here to help. In the arms the angels fly away from here every day, thousands of flights take off across the u. S. For just ten cents a day, you could make sure one needy plane gets cleared for landing. laughter a plane like this one here. applause this is delta flight 8625 out of houston. Its been circling la guardia for eight years. laughter wont you help it land . Right now, a child is kicking the seat in front of him. Wont you call . cheers and applause thank you, sarah. Thank you, sarah. Of course, if you come from a muslim majority nation, air traffic is not your problem because trump is still trying to push this muslim travel ban. Remember, he had that executive orders he signed, showed everybody, and that was struck down in court, then rewritten a little softer, then struck down again, and now the revised version is headed to the Supreme Court and the administrations only chance of winning is not calling it a travel ban. Why, sean . Its not a travel ban. Because when we use words like travel ban, that misrepresents what it is. Stephen got it. Okay. So this thing should get approved by the Supreme Court as long as nobody calls it a travel ban. trump people, the lawyers and the courts can call it whatever they want, but i am calling it what we need and what it is, a travel ban cheers and applause oh, come on piano riff mr. President , that was the one thing youre not supposed to say laughter its like going to an a. A. Meeting and shouting, who wants shots . They all do. Thats why theyre there. But dont say it laughter and if calling it a travel ban wasnt bad enough, trump went on to tweet, the Justice Department should have stayed with the original travel ban, not the watered down, politically correct version they submitted to Supreme Court. Mr. President , you cant criticize the Justice Department you control the Justice Department to quote third grade boys everywhere quit hitting yourself, quit hitting yourself cheers and applause piano riff you okay . You okay . Thats cameraman abuse. laughter and this isnt the only tweet thats made news in the last week. I know this happened five days ago, but i will not be denied the chance to enjoy this one from just after midnight last wednesday despite the constant negative press covfefe. cheers and applause piano riff okay. Strong statement. Bold. President ial. Reminds of the first draft of the gettysburg address. Four score and seven ratselttab. laughter of course, the internet lost their covfefe over this. Why did the president type that . It was the new what color is the dress . But instead of white versus blue, it was sleepy versus stroke. laughter the tweet was taken down six hours later and replaced with a response from trump, saying, who can figure out the true meaning of covfefe . . . Enjoy laughter see . Its just fun jon meant to be a joke. Stephen its not a mistake. Its fun. Hes in on the fun what a hilarious jokester. Its a great follow up to everything he does that makes no sense. Who can figure out the true reason i withdrew from the paris climate treaty . . . Enjoy laughter who can figure out the true reason i inflicted my corrosive vortex of paranoia, wounded ego, and stifling inhumanity on this great nation . . . Enjoy laughter rough riff who can figure out whats on the famous russian videotape of me asking those women to covfefe . Enjoy laughter of course, the big story last oh, covfefe, oh, covfefe Something Like that, covfefe. Jon covfefe. Stephen covfefe will cost you extra. laughter of course, the big story last week was trumps announcement that america was pulling out of the paris climate agreement. audience reacts yeah, i know. I know. I know. But dont worry, hes got a sound, scientific reason. I was elected to represent the citizens of pittsburgh, not paris. Stephen mr. President , its pronounced st. Petersburg. cheers and applause jon what . piano riff stephen were having fun enjoy laughter by the way, i believe pittsburgh, not paris is now the official motto of pittsburgh. laughter according to trump. He pulled out because the agreement lowered americas status in the world. At what point does america get demeaned . At what point do they start laughing at us, as a country . Stephen oooh, i know that one. January 20, 2017. cheers and applause piano riff jon oh oh stephen enjoy enjoy 3 other members of the Trump Administration have been defending the move, including Vice President and man pretending to think, mike pence, who said the Climate Change debate has gotten too political. For some reason or another, the issue of Climate Change has emerged as a paramount issue for the left. Stephen yeah, for some reason those lefties want the earth to remain inhabitable. Probably because thats where George Clooney lives. Coincidence . Meanwhile, things continue to happen in the trumprussia scandal. Its full of surprises. Just when you thought you knew what was going on, it turns out, its exactly what you thought. Case in point, we learned last week that, back in december trump soninlaw and proud graduate of cobra kai, jared kushner, held a secret meeting with russian bank c. E. O. And man whos pretending he has a mustache, sergey gorkov. Gorkov is the head of the government owned, vnesheconombank, where the first two pages of your Bank Statement are just their name. Gorkov is also in the domestic form of the former kgb, whats in your wallet . Tell us or we will kill you. laughter now, trump folks say that kushner met with gorkov as the trump transition teams official primary point of contact with foreign governments. Of course, the primary point is the most sensitive part of the contact. But vnesheconombank claims that gorkov met with kushner in his role as the head of his familys real estate business. Oh, its just his real estate business. It explains the sign in front of the white house country for sale. Best offer. laughter weve got a great show tonight kevin hart is here that guy over there cheers and applause stick around why put another crossover on a road already filled with them . Why give it headlights like jewels . A body that feels sculpted . Why give it an interior where even the dash is cut and sewn by hand . Its simple you can build a car. Or you can build a cadillac. Mom whats for din. Ner . Water. Just water. Lots and lots of water. You wouldnt feed your kids just water, so why starve your plants . Feed them miracle gro and go from doom to bloom. So why starve your plants . With motionsense technology. Degree has redefined deodorant so that i can redefine. Power. Footwork. Range. The more i move, the more it works. Degree. It wont let you down. Guyscause this is my jam. N. Showtime tell it to my heart tell me im the only one. Nailed it tim, nailed it. cheers and applause band playing Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everybody cheers and applause stephen welcome back my first guest tonight is a oneman Entertainment Industry standup comedian, movie star, and now an author. Please welcome, kevin hart cheers and applause band playing thank you thank you cheers and applause i appreciate it thank you, guys its always amazing. Theyre never not amazing. Not for every guest. Really . Stephen not for every guest. These guys leapt to their feet. They donts do that for every guest, i promise you. cheers and applause now, im surprised you are looking as healthy and rested as you are because you do everything. I was just thinking that could have went left. Stephen no, no, because youre so busy. Im surprised you look healthy, Kevin Stephen no, because youre so busy. Were you at the cavs game last night . No, i went to game one. Stephen they lost two in a row now. Yeah. Stephen gotten spanked twice in a row now. Is that how you do it . Stephen thats how you do it. Who are you pulling for when youre court side . Well, heres the thing, all right, its tough because i know all the guys. Stephen you know all the guys. I know bryan, i know k. D. , stev, i know those are real friendships. Stephen okay. O secretly, this is between us stephen so turn off the cameras. Cut em off. Stephen yeah. Ecretly, im pulling for lebron right now because i want to see bron make history. Im big on history. I love what he hs doing and accomplishing and i want to say i saw it for this generation and witnessed it. But at the games i dont let stef and k. D. See me cheering for bryan. If they look, i just start scratching or act like im doing Something Else. Or i wave, whats up, man . This is a good game. But i whisper but i dont scream it. I dont want bryan seeing me cheer for him and him see me cheering for bryan. You know what i mean . Yeah. People will say, you know when you cheered from the other side . I know, but thats a different time. Stephen lebron or steph curry . They all would do . I dont think one outweighs the other. Stephen you dont have to worry about a job. You are a movie star, standup star, highest paid comedian of 2016. cheers and applause and now youve got a book, its called i cant make this up, life lessons with kevin hart. Thats so good. Thats so good. Stephen how does, again, youre a very busy man for someone who looks so healthy. How do you whats the process when you write . You go to a cabin . Pipe, smoking jacket, elbow patches . No, im naked. Im naked. Stephen hold on. Got it. Got it . Stephen yeah. Uhhuh. Oh, my. laughter you know what . I think that i have a very interesting story, and heres the thing with me, im not selfish with information. I think in the entertainment business, people become selfish with information. Stephen what do you mean . When they make it, people get to a high level of success and they dont share the story of their road to success. Stephen oh, because the other guys coming up. I dont want the other guy coming up and taking my spot. But the story can be useful to people with dreams and aspirations. Sometimes people need to know how many times you heard no or the door was slammed in your face or rejection was literally at your doorstep and you felt like your dream was not going to become a reality. Stephen the book is a motivational seminar. It really, is man. Its me being 100 honest. Im giving you the good, bad, ugly, whether its negative, negative or one level negative. Stephen for somebody out there facing a lot of rejection or smings things are rough in their life, whats a rough patch you went through that you pushed through anyway . A rough patch . The roughest patch in standup comedy when i was a young comic coming up i wanted to audition for the comic strip and a guy named lucien ran the comic strip. His opinion was the ultimate, he saw eddy murphy and said this will be the next guy, sign felt will be the next guy. So many stars became a star because he put his hand on them and said its going to happen. His word was the word to get. I auditioned and he told me to come back to his office. He sits me down and says, i dont think this is for you. I dont think comedy is your thing. You should find a job and look to do Something Else with your life because this is it for you. No laughter afterwards, blank stare. Im waiting for the punch line. Whens it getting funny . Whens the funny . Im not laughing. This seems its real. He said, thank you for coming but unfortunately, you wont be performing here, thats it. I had to get up and walk out of the office. That was literally the first punch in the stomach i took. My friend told me what do you care about somebody elses opinion . He said youre in charge with your own destiny. Youre in competition with yourself. The day you give up on your is the day you give up on your dream. If youre in the businessov giving up on your dream, i dont want to be in the business of being your friend. I think youre talented so why dont you stay true to what you think you can do. It was words like that that made me get the thick skin to deal with hollywood and rejection. When i heard no a thousand times, i started to roll off my back and when i got the one yes i never listened to them again. The young generation needs to know im going to stay true to me dream and im going to stay till i see the light in the tunnel. Im happy now, but there was a role for me getting here and that role and story should be told, hence my book. How good of talker am i . cheers and applause stephen were going to take a little break right here. Youre a great talker. Weve got to take a break. Back with more kevin hart. Stick around. cheers and applause band playing sorry about the holdup, folks. We have some congestion on the runway and im being told itll be another 15, maybe 20 minutes, and we will have you on your way. Runway models on the runway . Surprising. Whats not surprising . How much money evan saved by switching to geico. I would not wear that lace. Hmm, i dont know . Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. Thats like lebron trying to pperform with old equipment. . Foul blows whistle upgrade your game to intels fastest processor. And that doesnt happen every by accident it takes 15 years to become a heineken brewmaster. Almost as long as it took me to master this look. Still practicing. It takes 15 years to become a heineken brewmaster. Theres more behind the star. cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody were here with kevin hart. One nice thing, your new book, i cant make this up life lessons, kevin hart, you said this is a love letter to your mom who raised you. Yes. Stephen how did she influence you because you have two kids now. And one on the way. Stephen a third on the way . Yes. Stephen congratulations hey, honey stephen what are you like as a dad . Im an amazing dad. I think im the best dad walking this earth. But the reason for it is because stephen how do your kids feel about you . My kids think im a dope. Thats what make me happy. My kids actually think im the coolest dad on the planet. Its different when you think youre cool and your kids are, like, shut up, dad, and youre not cool. But my kids think im cool. My dad has a lot to do with that. The mistakes my dad made, the decision to do drugs and many if and out of jail and our lives, i saw first hand whatnot being present did and i know what being present means and what effect it can do can and the effect it will have on your child coming up. I choose to go positive instead of negative and because of that my relationship with my dad is amazing now and my dad understands how i feel and how i look at things and my dad is focusing on being the best grandparent that he possibly can. Stephen you wand and the your dad have gotten back together and healed your relationship . Thats beautiful. That doesnt always happen. But you have a choice. You know how much time it takes to hold an attitude and grudge . Thats time and energy. The time it takes you to go i dont like that person and keep that in you is a lot of time that can be devoted to be positive. Stephen Nelson Mandela said holding a grudge is like drinking poison and thinking it will kill the other person. First off, thats amazing and imed off that i didnt know that. That was a real bad moment for me as a black man. laughter stephen you cant know everything every black man said. No, but you said, you know what Nelson Mandela said and i was, like, oh, bleep , i didnt know. That was tough. That was tough right there is that im so sorry. You said youve got a lot of life lessons fromout people in hollywood. Yes. Stephen you want to be the guy who passes it down. Yes. Stephen you learn a lot of things from people you did projects with. Any particular people who gave you lessons on the set or like you did what did you do you did soul playing with snoop. Did you learn anything from snoop . Yeah, i learned you shouldnt smoke over a certain amount. Yeah. Thats a true story. Yeah. laughter stephen thats hard not to with snoop. Well, there is a point with snoop you just had to go, where are we trying to get to . Like, whats the end game . When does it stop . Literally, it just doesnt stop. And i was, like, at this point, maybe you should find Something Else, because this i dont think this is the high youre looking for, man people are dead. Like, everybody else is dead. Stephen everybodys out and hes still driving on. At this point, youre talking to yourself. Like, youre the only one talking. So i think for snoop, man, it was a lot of things. If i saw snoop over there, hes, like, come smoke with your uncle, im going to say i have asthma. Im going to do something. Im not going over there. I did it once and it didnt end well. I think i honestly like, im not a drug guy. I know what my dad did and the consequences of it, but snoop, this was a legendary moment, you got to smoke with snoop if you get a chance. I have to say, dont do drugs, but if you do do it, do it with snoop. laughter applause stephen quality, not quantity. Quality. I smoke with snoop. I think i was high for three weeks. Stephen totally dont ever get on willie nelsons bus. Never stephen this book ends with you saying go forth and prosper. Yes. Stephen which sounds like the end of a church service, go forth and prosper. Will this book make people rich . If they read this book, will they have a prosperous life . Absolutely not. What you will have is a different attitude in your approach to becoming prosperous. Thats what this book will do. This book will simply make you stay true to your dream. It will make you be determined to find the successful version of yourself. At the end of the day, i want people to be better. Thats why im sharing this information. I dont want to be successful by myself. There is enough success in the world for everybody. Everybody should be able to get a piece. I think if everybody adapts that mindset, that our world will ultimately become a better place. Ates crab in a barrel mentality now and it takes people to speak up about being positive and bringing people close together and thats what i do, man. Stephen what is a crab in a barrel mentality . A crab in a barrel. You put a bunch of crabs in a before reel, every crab that tries to climb out of the barrel, theres another crab thats going to grab the crab and pull him back in. Eventually no crabs get out of the barrel because theyre all pulling each other down trying to get to the top. No crab is helping. How do you not know that . Stephen because i havent read your damn book yet. laughter kevin, thanks for being here. I cant make this up goes on sale tomorrow go forth and prosper kevin hart, everybody back with Ali Wentworth ally ham to be our next spokesperson . Seems like a good fit. But hes so boring. Im yawning just talking about him. Well its our job to change that. Uh guys. I think he can hear us. Hm. Sounds like youre on the fence. Why dont i just leave you my resume . Yes, its laminated. No thanks. Youre hired caramel has been square for far too long. Uh. Ow. Introducing new caramel m ms. Itbut one i think with quesa simple answer. We have this need to peek over our neighbors fence. And once we do, we see wonder waiting. Every step you take, narrows the influence of narrow minds. Bridges continents and brings this world one step closer. So, the question you asked me. What is the key . Its you. Everything in one place, so you can travel the world better. Depend real fit briefs feature breathable, cottonlike fabric. In situations like this, theres no time for distractions. Its not enough to think im ready. I need to know im ready. No matter what lies ahead. Get a free sample at depend. Com. School lunch can be difficult. Cafeteria chaos. One little struggle. Can lead to one monumental mishap. Not with ziploc easy open tabs. Because life needs ziploc. Sc johnson. Goal nitedhealthcare, you can get rewarded for waldad. We wanna welcome everyone to the father daughter dance. Walk, move and earn money. For outofpocket medical expenses. Hes ok unitedhealthcare its the applebees big bold grill combos. Try a chicken combo, combod with a ribs combo. Its the combo of combos. Combod two meats, two sides. The big bold grill combos. Starting at 12. 99. Only at applebees. Starting at 12. 99. You dont even want to know protection detergent alone doesnt kill bacteria but adding new lysol laundry sanitizer kills 99. 9 of bacteria with 0 bleach. Stephen hey, welcome back, everybody cheers and applause folks, my next guest is a comedian who stars as a late night talk show talent booker on nightcap. Listen to me. I am at the end of my rope. You just made me feel bad, i wanted to stop thats the end of me movie, a mental breakdown. No this is not mental breakdown. Ive had enough of doing it more. I want you gone oh my bad ow h, jeez stephen please welcome Ali Wentworth cheers and applause nice to see you again. I know they stood up for kevin hart, so i was a little nervous. Thank you for standing up for me. cheers and applause stephen theyre lovely. Now, the last time we were lucky enough to have you on the show, winter was just starting. Yes, winter was upon us. Stephen we wanter was upon us. It was the winter solstice. Yes. Stephen so we made it officially to happy summer. Happy summer to you. Stephen you and your family, george stephanopoulos, and how many children, two . That i know of. Stephen do you do summary trips . Were big vacationers because, frankly, george works seven days a week so he takes a week at christmas and a week in the summer. We took a trip last year which permanently damaged my two children, two daughters. Stephen your last summer vacation. We took them to the galapagos islands. Has anyone ever been there . cheers and applause it was my vietnam but good for you for having a good time. Reporter why . Tore us the problems . I would have given anything for a tore us the problem. I dont know what a tore us the would be. Stephen neither to i. Apparently, it itches. We think, this is going to be educational. We book it through one of those Family Vacation things which, by the way, just go to disney world. Just dont do anything else, and we flew to ecuador and we get into this huge bus with a thousand tourists, and, which is fun. Stephen big bus. Because my husband loves to meet new people, and we go to this dock and i see two boats. Announcer see this white, shiny, gorgeous boat. It should have been named beyonce, it was the stunning thing. And then there was captain phillips boat. So we get in our dinghy and go to that boat, not the beyonce boat, we go to the scary pirate boat. All our luggage has been dumped on deck and you get to pick whatever you want. Theyre wet anyway, just pick a suitcase. We go to our rooms, and theyre below deck, which means youre below the water. So youre under the water. And george and i have this room this size with two little cots, like drawers in a bureau. Tiny little cots. Our kids come running from their little box and theyre, like, we want to sleep with you were too scared so we go, thats great. Lets all sleep together in this chair. Lets all four of us sleep together in this chair. Our toilet had blown up moments before we had checked in to the pirate boat and, so, when you walked in a our room, all this water and poop would come up between your toes. audience reacts so youre literally, like, ill be right back, let me go see whats for dinner squish, squish, squish. audience reacts by the way, dinner that night was a pigs head with jello around it. audience reacts okay, so stephen Carnival Cruise line is so lovely if you want to try Something Like that. laughter were only left off the boat two hours a day. Stephen is that a Work Release Program . Youre only allowed to go on the islands two hours a day. So im thinking were going to see a bluefooted platypus or stephen sure, not that but Something Like that. Im sorry, is that my Harvard Education coming through . And we didnt see anything. We saw two seals. I can see seals in central park two blocks from my house. I said, where are all the freaky animals . I had a disposable camera. Nothing. So, meanwhile, george okay, this is a man who can not be without his cell phone because there is breaking news every five minutes. Stephen but there is. No, i know. Believe me stephen this is real. I know it is stephen this is actually happening. I know it is. Stephen yeah. O he cannot function in life without his cell phone. So we get on the boat, and they say to my husband, oh theres no internet. Theres no internet. Every night, he would go to the top of the deck and hold his phone out like this, and i would come up and say what are you doing . He said, if i get a bar, i can somehow get a helicopter to come get us. laughter by the way, by the end of the trirntion because this could be a 40minute segment, my husband had a thick beard, he was rocking back and forth in the cot and looked like holm tom hanks in castaway. Stephen new york city is a lovely place to spend vacation. You can spend it right here. applause of course Stephen Lovely to see you again. We have to go . Stephen yes. Were not going to do the anal sex story . Stephen no, do you guys want to hear the anal sex story . applause so, how do you and george approach parenting differently . Im so glad you asked me laughter im assume wegre at commercial now. Stephen yeah, none of this is going on air. laughter hes very serious and i use humor, mostly to deflect. Stephen he has to be serious. Hes an attorney, he has to tell the truth. Yes, he has to tell the truth. Stephen he has to tell the truth i know im just doing that because you did it. Stephen i did not start this you started it. laughter you started it. Well roll back the tape. Now its a twohour show. So my daughter who is in sixth grade, they got this book called its perfectly normal which is for their sex ed, and its very provocative. I was reading chapter 12 and 13 and i was, like, oh, my god, i have no idea. So were sitting at dinner and my little daughter says, mommy and daddy, have you ever had anal sex . And before i could even make eye contact with george, i say only for jewelry, sweetie. laughter stephen worth the trip. Worth the trip. Thats how you parent thats how you parent stephen nightcaps new season appears wednesdays on poptv Ali Wentworth, everybody well be back with a performance by the war on drugs cheers and applause i hate the outside. Well, i hate it wherever you are. Burn. Burn. Is that what the kids are saying now . Im so bored, im dead. You can always compare rates on progressive. Com. Oh, thats nice, dear. But could you compare camping trips . Because this one would win. All i want to do is enjoy nature and peace and quiet its not about winning. Its about helping people find a great rate even if its not with progressive. Ugh. Insurance. When i said peace and quiet, did you hear, talk more and disappoint me . Do do do do skiddly do do camping with the family [ flame whooshes ] no splashing wait, so you got rid of verizon, just like that . Uh huh. I switched to tmobile, kept my phone everything on it oh, they even paid it off wow yeah, its nice that every bad decision doesnt have to be permanent now you can ditch verizon but keep your phone. Well even pay it off when you switch to tmobile. Mom whats for din. Ner . Water. Just water. Lots and lots of water. You wouldnt feed your kids just water, so why starve your plants . Feed them miracle gro and go from doom to bloom. quiet chatter soft gasp record scratching excited chatter various whoa mixed exclamations cheering cheers and applause band playing degree has redefined deodorant with motionsense technology. So that i can redefine. Power. Footwork. Range. The more i move, the more it works. Degree. It wont let you down. [beeping] wow. Good to know we have that on our prius [beeping] and lane departure alert. See what i mean . With so many safety features like pedestrian detection and lane departure alert, toyota doesnt need us test dummies as much. Oh, i get it, man hey, i gotta get my thrills somehow. The 2017 prius with Toyota Safety sense standard. Toyota. Lets go places. Well its a perfect nespresso hold on a second. Orge. Mmm. [mel torme sings comin home baby] hey there. Want a lift . Where are we going . No dont tell me. Let me guess. Have a nice ride. How far would you go for coffee thats a cup above . I brought you nespresso. Nespresso. What else . Thats like lebron trying to pperform with old equipment. . Foul blows whistle upgrade your game to intels fastest processor. Stephen now performing holding on, ladies and gentlemen, the war on drugs. cheers and applause once i was alive and i could feel i was holding on to you and i redefined the way i looked at dawn inside of you i went down a crooked highway aint no way im gonna last hiding in the seams, i cant move the past feel like im about to crash riding on my line, keep keeping on once we were apart and i could see red never trying to turn back time never meant to bring my pain to the front and into your life now im headed down a different road can we walk it side by side . Is an old memory just another way of saying goodbye . Aint no way im gonna last hiding in the seams, i cant move the past feel like im about to crash riding the same line, i keep keeping on i aint never going to change hell never get in line i keep moving on the path, yeah holding on to mine when you talk about the past what are we talking of . Did i let go too fast . Was i holding on too long . Aint no truths from the past as silent as the sea am i holding on too long . But youre right in front of me and im moving on a cast shadows on my seam i keep moving to changes, yeah ooh cheers and applause stephen their new album, a deeper understanding is out august 25 the war on dru,, who are these people . The environmentally aware. The ones with their eyes on the sky and our air. They say our climates in need of repair. Why do they worry . Why do they care . The Energy Conscious people among us say small actions could add up to something. Humongous. A little thing here a little thing there starts to feel like a badge maybe millions can wear. Limiting showers to only five minutes. Turning off lights in a room unless theyre in it. Air filter changing, solar installing unplugging, dialturning, thermostatlowering offpeaktime users all joining forces. To help get our power from renewable sources. Who are all these caretakers, advocates too . The celebrated leadbyexample crew. Turns out, its californians its me and its you. and yeah, its him too dont stop now, its easy to add to the routine. Join Energy Upgrade california and do your thing. Stephen thats it for the late show. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be selma hayek pinault, hasan minhaj, and musical guest feist. Now stick around for james corden and his guests Gordon Ramsay and michael strahan. Goodnight captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where it is you come from itll be all right