Because sustaining the shelling of i. S. I. S. Insurgents is nothing to weathering the merciless bombardment of april ryan. If i am felled on the battlefield, the wind will whisper my words to you woohoo, sweet release, i am free. Sincerely yours, sean spicer. P. S. , please send gum. laughter announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight stephen welcomes mayim bialik, andy karl and Ramy Yousseff, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And, now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause band playing stephen whoo captioning sponsored by cbs hey thank you whoo youre too kind please, thank you so much. Welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. Well, the last 24 hours have just raised more questions about why donald trump fired f. B. I. Director james comey. Okay. No one seems to know why. Donald trump doesnt seem to know why. laughter first, he said it was based on the recommendation of assistant attorney general and 50yearold just hitting puberty, rod rosenstein. laughter hang in there, rod. Trump even sent mike pence out there to repeat it. What are you going to do . Rod says hes gotta go. Rods the man. Some people were skeptical that this was true. For instance, rod rosenstein, who said, and im paraphrasing, what . No sorry, fellas, no. At one point, rosenstein actually threatened to quit. It will be detailed in his tellall book threatening courage. laughter still, the white house staff kept repeating that the decision came after the recommendation from rod. And today Donald Trump Backed those staffers up and then ran over them repeatedly by changing his story. Monday you met with the Deputy Attorney general rod rosenstein. Right. Did you ask for a recommendation . What i did is i was going to fire comey. My decision. It was not you made the decision before they came in the room . I, i was going to fire comey. I theres no good time to do it, by the way. They because, in your letter, you said i have accepted their recommendations. You had already made the decision . Oh, i was going to fire regardless of recommendation. Stephen yes, he was going to do it regardless. Totally believable. Trump does have a long history of doing whatever he wants regardless. But hey, when youre a star, they let you do it. Comey should have known he was in trouble when trump pulled out the tic tacs. laughter so if it wasnt the recommendation, why did he get rid of him . Look, hes a showboat, hes a grandstander. audience reacts stephen that is really the squash calling the pumpkin orange. cheers and applause that was an orange float at the rose parade. applause and that wasnt trumps only interview this week. He also sat down with the economist, and talked about chinese president xi jinping and the Amazing Things he learned. Our relationship with china is long. Of course, by china standards, its very short. You know, they go back 8,000 years. We have 1776 is like modern history. They consider 1776 like yesterday, and they, you know, go back a long time. Did you know that general tso was a real guy . i think he fought with capn crunch. laughter jon magically delicious. Stephen this interview with the trump really thinks he likes his new best friend xi jinping. I think i like him a lot. I think he likes me a lot. We were supposed to meet for ten minutes, and the ten minutes turned out to be three hours. Alone, the two of us. The next day it was supposed to be ten minutes, dinner turned out to be three hours. I mean, hes a great guy. Tell me more, tell me more, did you have lots of fun . Tell me more, tell me more. Will they kill kim jong un . applause tell me more tell me more do you have any regrets tell me more tell me more, will they dpoar give our debt . Thank you very much. laughter what else . Trump also laid out his new tax reform plan, and used a totally original metaphor its called priming the pump. You know, if you dont do that, youre never going to bring your taxes down. You understand the expression prime the pump . Have you heard that expression before . Because i havent heard it. I mean, i just i came up with it a couple of days ago, and i thought it was good. laughter yes. Dont adjust your television sets. You heard that right. Donald trump is claiming he came up with the phrase, prime the pump . sir, did you learn nothing from melanias speech . laughter just dont do it cheers and applause now, im no expert. Im not sure who invented the phrase priming the pump, but i think it dates back to the pump. What other phrases did trump invent . Paper or plastic, that was me. I call a left turn a louie. Hows it hangin . No one wondered how it hung before me. Chocoholic. You are the weakest link. Goodbye. laughter trump also gave a white house tour to Time Magazine, and gave reporters a firsthand look at his dinner routine. As he settles down, they bring him a diet coke, while the rest of the guests are served water. When the chicken arrives, he is the only one given an extra dish of sauce. And at the dessert course, he gets two scoops of Vanilla Ice Cream with his chocolate cream pie, instead of the single scoop for everyone else. Wow two scoops . jon oh, man stephen does he also get to ride in the front seat sometimes . applause man, i wish i was the president or really, anyone else. laughter trump was also sad about how everyones been so mean to him, saying, it never made sense to me, the level of animosity. All you want to do is, like, lets have a great military. Lets have low taxes. Lets have good health care. Lets have good education. You know . I didnt realize he was such a tenderhearted fellow. So im not gonna say anything negative about the president , like that his hands are so small he needs both of them to work a tv remote. Im going to let Time Magazines picture say it for me. laughter piano riff hold on hold on hold on tell the joint chiefs we are at code green. My thumb cant reach the o button. laughter but those are all just trifling details. The president also spoke to Time Magazine about the most important issue to him this show. Ahem. You see a notalent guy like colbert, theres nothing funny about what he says. And what he says is filthy. And you have kids watching. It only builds up my base. It only helps me, people like him. The guy was dying. By the way they were going to take what he says is filthy and you have kids watching him off television, then he started attacking me and he started doing better. But his show was dying. Ive done his show, but when i did his show, which by the way was very highly rated. It was high me. It was the the highest rating hes ever had. cheers and applause piano riff the president of the United States has personally come after me and my show. Theres only one thing to say laughter cheers and applause audience chanting stephen mr. Trump, theres a lot you dont understand, but i never thought one of those things would be show business. laughter dont you know ive been trying for a year to get you to say my name . And you were very restrained, but now you did it. I won whispering . Oh, no please dont make me trend on twitter again dont throw me in that hashtagbriarpatch laughter but, youre not wrong. I do occasionally use adult language. And i do it in public, instead of in the privacy of an access hollywood bus. laughter applause that is dignified. And its true the night you appeared on was very highly rated. In fact, the only episode that got better ratings was the night i had jeb bush on. audience reacts thats right. You got beat by lowenergy jeb bush. But dont worry, you won the ratings college. laughter and making jokes about you has been good for ratings. Its almost as if the majority of americans didnt want you to be president. But you know whos got really bad ratings these days . You. Terrible approval numbers. I hear theyre thinking about switching your time slot with mike pence. laughter applause but since all of my success is based on talking about you, if you really want to take me down, theres an obvious way resign cheers and applause i mean, thats it, right . Sir, if you did that, what would i talk about then . Except your resignation. Because that would be fun. cheering a president going after someone over jokes is unprecedented. That would be like nixon going after alfred e. Newman. laughter and if i may, mr. President , id like to quote that great man what, me worry . cheers and applause band playing weve got a great show for you tonight. Mayim bialik is here. But when we come back, i got the first drafts of this years popular mothers day cards. Stick around. I love you, mom discover card. How can i help you . Oh, youre real . You know im real at discover, were always here to talk. Good, cause i dont have time for machines. Some Companies Just dont appreciate the power of conversation you know, i like you i like you too at discover, we treat you like youd treat you. Get the it card and talk to a real person. Someday youll let me put my way ycomb up there air til then youre beautiful and i just stare get 25 off nike for mom. Thats 25 off select nike shoes, apparel and accessories just in time for mothers day and, everyone gets kohls cash earn it on everything spend it on anything right now at kohls. Classiness is to be expected. Woah, okay. Not that much. The all new bacon gouda burger from dennys. Its classy. band playing cheers and applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everybody thats my man jon whoo stephen good to see you, jon we all love our mothers, dont we . Jon yes. And moms just love getting mothers day cards. audience reacts thats what im talking about. Its the kind of gesture that says, i passed the card display while buying mouthwash and batteries. But even the best mothers day cards had to start somewhere. And the people who write them dont always nail it on the first try. Which is why tonight were taking a look at some early greeting card efforts in our segment. First drafts applause in first drafts, we look at the i always have somebody help me in holding up th the first drafts. I need a mom. Whats your name . Pam. Stephen there we go, pam. Right there. Have a seat. Thank you so much for being our guest today, pam. Pam, its mothers day. Right. Stephen so for mothers day, we would like to give you, obviously, a mimosa. applause and a macaroni card that says mom on it. Have you gotten one of these before . I have. Stephen these are for you. You can keep that. You want to keep that, right . Sure. Stephen thats cbs property. Not sure if you can keep that. laughter where are you from . Nashville, tennessee. Stephen lovely town. It is. Stephen you have two children of your own . A 37yearold son and a stephen what . 37. Stephen no way i do. Im going to have a grand baby this summer. Stephen congratulations thank you stephen okay. I have another son, too, hes 33. Stephen you have a 33yearold son as well. Is he going to have a grand baby soon . Danny. Stephen danny, get on the stick. You bet is that i would like for you to hand me the top card off each of these. Ill hold it up, and this will be the final draft of the mothers day card, and the next one will be the first draft of the mothers day card. Do you understand the premise of the jokes we will be doing . I believe so. Stephen excellent. Heres one that says happy mothers day to the worlds best mom. Love loy, who wouldent want to get that. Would you like that . I would. Stephen okay. But the first draft read, kevins mom lets us smoke weed in the basement. laughter applause ever have that situation . Probably. Stephen other parents arent as good as you. You dont let your kids play with those kids, right . No. Stephen okay, yeah. Heres a nice one. It says, youre not just my mom, youre my best friend. audience reacts thats very sweet. Stephen that was really sweet, all right. But the first draft said, im going to start calling you linda. laughter how would you feel about that . I dont think id like that, no. Stephen have your kids ever said can i call you pam, or ever call you pam . Not really. Stephen would you be okay with that if they said i want to call you pam . Maybe not. Stephen no in i dont like it either. All right . This one says, happy mothers day. Mom, you taught me everything i know. But heres the first draft dad taught me how to siphon gas. laughter is your husband here . He is here. Stephen where is he . Raise your hand. Is that you, sir, in the grey hair . Is that you . Yeah. Stephen did you ever teach the boys how to siphon gas . No . Yeah, well see. Stephen well expect that card at fathers day. This is pretty on the outside. Reads happy mothers day. We may be far apart, but a part of you is always with me. audience reacts stephen yeah. But if you look at the first draft it says, im slowly turning into you, and it creeps me out when i look in the mirror. applause you know that feeling . Yeah. Do your boys look like you or your husband . Actually, its i would say one is more me and one is probably my husband. Stephen okay. Even handed of you, mom. Yeah. Stephen which one looks more like you . The oldest one. Stephen do you have a favorite . Oh, i cant say that. Stephen you cant say. She has a favorite. That means she has a favorite. Simple answer no. Simple answer no, senator. All right. applause stephen okay. Were joking, boys. How about this card . It just says, happy mothers day. Simple and to the point. And heres the first draft happy mothers day. For the last time, heres your wifi password, dont throw this away. Thats happened. Stephen thats true . cheers and applause oh, yes. Stephen okay. This one says happy mothers day to the worlds most to the mom i can talk to about anything. But the first draft read im into butt stuff. laughter cant talk about that. Yeah. Stephen there are limits. Mom doesnt want to know. All right. You happy you came up here, mom . laughter heres a nice one youre the number one mom in the whole wide world audience reacts but the first draft said, statisticians say sample size is too small to accurately determine your ranking. laughter this one says queen for a day. This one says happy mothers day. Thanks for being my godmother. But the first draft read, im not totally clear what your role is. Pam, thank you for being here. Please enjoy your mimosa and macaroni art. Pam, everybody happy mothers day not really. Yes, you do. Every single time i. Get down there you are. You always have. My back my back music piano cover of guns n roses sweet child o mine you plan to capture every moment. But what you really cant plan for, is when the moment captures you. Experience moe as a member. The marriott portfolo has 30 brands in over 110 countries, so no matter where you go, you are here. The following ad for your viewing convenience. I finally switched to geico. Oh yeah . Ended up saving a ton of money on car insurance. I hear they have a really great mobile app. The interface is remarkably intuitive. Thats so important. Try aveeno® sheer hydration. Its active naturals® oat formula. Goes on feather light. Absorbs in seconds. Keeps skin healthy looking and soft. Aveeno® naturally beautiful results. 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Internet for one everyday simple price and no extra monthly fees. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody welcome back folks, get ready, because you know my first guest from beaches, blossom, and of course the Big Bang Theory. Please welcome mayim bialik. cheers and applause band playing stephen please, after you. Nice to have you on the show. Nice to be here. Stephen not only are you on this show on cbs tonight, but tonight the Season Finale of season 10 of Big Bang Theory is tonight and i understand this is taped before that broadcast. Correct. Stephen its whatever, 3 45 or everyone dies whoops laughter just kidding. Stephen hard to make that funny. New big bang the universe starts all over again . Is it something having to do with your character . Yes. Stephen you have a one in seven chance of being right with that guess. Stephen youre here, might as well take a stab with it. Something big happens with my character and sheldon. Stephen Something Big has already happened between the two of you. We had coitus. Stephen what a lovely way to put it. Are you blushing . Stephen under all this makeup. laughter we had jim parsons on last week and he said hes not actually understanding any of the things he says on that show, nor does he want to understand. Correct. Stephen you actually have a ph. D. In neuroscience. Correct. Stephen was that just, like, intense . Was that intense method acting . How did this come about . No. Actually, i took time off. I was on blossom when i was younger. I took off 12 years to get my undergraduate and graduate degree at u. C. L. A. , had two children, did a lot of things in those years. I returned to acting, honestly because we were running out of health insurance. Stephen pretty soon, everybodys going to return to acting. cheers and applause who would have thought acting was the safe choice . laughter i had been teaching neuroscience stephen where were you teaching neuroscience . I taught junior high and high school in our home school in los angeles and also taught biology and chemistry. Stephen do you ever explain to the other cast members what theyre saying means . So heres the thing about actors they dont like when other actors say, let me give you a little pointer on that one laughter stephen not even pronunciation . They dont like that at all, no. Stephen i love anyones enthusiasm for knowledge. Science isnt always valued as much as it should be. True. Stephen the people on the characters yall portray on the show are referred to as in other words. How do you feel about that term nerd . Actually, my first email address ever was nerd at ucla. Edu. Stephen that was available . Thats right, in 1995, it wasnt cool yet and no one wanted it, but i did. applause stephen what makes someone a nerd, in your opinion . Because there are a lot of controversy over the definition of nerd sometimes, like theres a rise of nerd culture and people want to be in other words but they dont know what qualifies you to be nerd. I thought nerd just means youre enthusiastic about something. Im enthusiastic about this mug. Im a mug nerd. Stephen an ancient design. Its how things work on an academic on intellectual level . Yeah, generally fall under nerd. In other words dont tend to have an elaborate social life but they can. We do. Stephen yeah. Information is your youre now my best friend. So i had no other plans tonight. This is it. Stephen could i qualify as a nerd . Tell me some of the things you like. Besides mugs. Stephen i really like astronomy. Okay. Stephen i really love the lord of the rings and tolkin. That would qualify you as a geek in my book. We could literally talk about this all night. Stephen lets cancel all the other guests. Lets geek out. So nerd versus geek. Id say geek tends to be someone whos interested in those kinds of things, fantasy, you know, star wars culture, star trek. Those people arent necessarily academically or intellectually inclined but are inclined towards having friends who also like those kind of geeky things and thats their social circle. In other words are by themselves. Geeks are by themselves with other people who are also by themselves. applause stephen so let me see if i get this right. A geek, if im interpreting correctly, is, oh, yeah, i know that dude, i met him at comic con. The nerd is i didnt know he was so quiet. Stephen why are you perpetuating stereotype . Thats my job on the Big Bang Theory. laughter stephen you have a new book called girling up how to be strong, smart and spectacular. Right. Stephen how does one girl up . By becoming a woman from a girl. I used my scientific background and my interest in the process of becoming a woman. For me, i was a very unusual child im sure thats shocking to you im pretty much an unusual adult, and i wrote this book to speak about the full female experience both for girls who dont fit in and those who do to teach about the full experience with a background in science in terms of the hormones and the biological processes of being a female . Addition to dealing with difficult things in the 21s 21st century female girls have to deal with. Stephen im a 52yearold man. Is there any way a man can girl up . Anything positive to learn from this . You just asked me two different questions. There is something positive you can learn from this stephen but i cant girl up . How gender fluid are you feeling tonight . Stephen the night is young. applause girling up out now mimmayim bialik, everybody back with andy karl lovely to meet you this is me when i feel controlled by frequent, unpredictable abdominal pain or discomfort and diarrhea. 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Neutrogena hydro boost water gel. With hyaluronic acid it plumps skin cells with intense hydration and locks it in. For supple, hydrated skin. Hydro boost. From neutrogena ayou dont have to choose just one thing. Choose your trio with any 3 of 9 selections for 15. 99. Like new creamy lobster pasta toasted parmesan shrimp and southernstyle crab cakes. Come create your trio before it ends. For all kinds of things. Like walking. Ewarded hey, honey. Dad, wheres the car . Thought wed walk. Hes counting steps. Walk, move and earn money. Goal dad. Hey, we wanna welcome everyone to the father daughter dance. Look at this dad, hes got some moves money you can use on outofpocket medical expenses. Hes ok, yeah unitedhealthcare cheers and applause band playing stephen hey, welcome back, everybody my next guest is nominated for a tony award for his performance in groundhog day. Please welcome, andy karl cheers and applause band playing so good. Stephen welcome to the show. Nice to have you on. Thanks for having me. Stephen we met briefly the other night. The met gala. Stephen super splashy and fancy. I want to say one thing i noticed while you were there, there is so much hubbub going on celebrity galore. It was my first time. Stephen fancy models and rihanna. But the one woman you wanted to be with was your wife and you kept canoodling with her all night and it was beautiful to see that. I was with my wife cheers and applause stephen thank you. You just got me serious points. Thank you very much. Happy mothers day stephen thank you very much. Did you meet any fun people . You run into really cool people, talking to elon musk about methane reclamation systems on mars or something. You never know. I did not meet him. I met hugh jackman. That was cool. Wolverine he had seen my show the night before. I was glad i could meet him there. He gave me a weird compliment a friend of his told him that i look like a combination of him and Anderson Cooper if they had a love child. I was, like, i will take that compliment stephen yeah, thats a power couple. It is. Stephen wow now, youre currently starring, as i said, in groundhog day on broadway. Hows that going . Its so good. Stephen yeah. Its a great show. Stephen youre currently starring in groundhog day on broadway. Hows tha that going . So good. Its a great show. Stephen youre currently starring in applause but heres the thing, as if people may not know. As youre nominated for a tony, beautiful performance, everyone blown away, but might be more blown away if they know what youre working through. Can you tell the people what happened three days before Opening Night . Three days before Opening Night, ill try to make a long story short stephen youre all over the set, jumping, flipping im pretty much on the entire show, running around as phil conners, the weather man whos stuck in time. Its a very active show and one part of the show towards the end where im running around saving everybodys life. Ive learned my lesson and saving everybodys day, catching cats falling from trees and all sorts of things. Running from stage left to right. Last part of the number, full tilt, leapfrogging over somebody, landing catching a woman falling off a ladder then catching a cat falling out of a tree. So i didnt get the catching part because after the leapfrog my acl just, like, ripped. My knee did this. I went down and im crawling off the stage sobbing and sad. This has a really good ending, at least. Stephen this is not the sort of thing you can hide from the audience. No, we had to stop the show. They asked for a doctor in the house. I never thaw i would hear that. Stephen literally . Over the loud speaker . Yeah, a pediatrician came back and it was as close as we could get. I sent everybody away because i wanted to sing the last song of the show for the audience because we were so close to the end. The last song is a brilliant song by our composer called seeing you, about phils journey around the show and hes learned his lesson and sees everybody around him makes him better. I have a hard time talking about it, when i came back out, i got such love, they applauded me going out there and i sang it for them. Its one of the best and worst theater experiences in my life. applause stephen and the show must go on. Thats a real trooper. The show must go on. I learned that a long time ago in theater and its proving it now. Stephen im guessing the guy, whoever it came up with the phrase the show must go on, had not just torn his acl. He had a hangnail or something. Stephen . Stephen the flu or Something Like that. coughing the show must go on. laughter stephen do you specialize in doing musical versions of movies . I could see you in fast and furious the musical. Broadway drift. laughter stephen is it sort of hard to fulfill the expectation of the audience who said, i saw this movie, thats not phil conners . Whats great about the show, its a work of art. Its so good how they deconstruct it. When youre turning a musical into a movie, you really have to tear it apart and put it back together again because youre adding music you dont normally get. We made other characters sing that you wouldnt expect. So what theyve done is Just Brilliant and its genius to look at and listen to and danny ruben who wrote the original scripts with harold ray muse is the script writer for this show and youre in good hands and will love it. Stephen groundhog day is at the August Wilson theater. Andy karl, everybody. Back with comedian Ramy Yousseff band playing cheers and applause your babys chubby little hand latches onto your finger so hard, its like shes saying i love you. Thats why aveenos oat formula is designed for your babys sensitive skin. Aveeno®. Naturally beautiful babies. Chevythree years in a row. Car company really. Lets see how quickly you can read through all their awards. 2017 motor trend car of the year. Kelly blue book 2016 best resale value. U. S. News best cars for the money 10 best blah blah blah only about 90 more to go 2017 iihs. Top safety. 2017 north american car of the year thats a lot of awards get 20 below msrp on all malibu lt models. Thats 5,200 on this chevy malibu. Find new roads at your local chevy dealer. Of being there for my sons winning shot. That was it for me. Thats why im quitting with nicorette. Only nicorette mini has a patented fast dissolving formula. It starts to relieve sudden cravings fast. Every great why needs a great how. [mel torme sings comin home baby] hey there. Want a lift . Where are we going . No dont tell me. Let me guess. Have a nice ride. How far would you go for coffee thats a cup above . I brought you nespresso. cheers and applause band playing im leaving you, wesley. But why . You havent noticed me in two years. I was in a coma. Well, i still deserve appreciation. Who was there for you when you had amnesia . Im leaving you, wesley. You havent noticed me in two years. I was in a coma. Im leaving you, wesley. Years. Still appreciate stop this if its appreciation are you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool . Try zyrtec® its starts working hard at hour one and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. Stick with zyrtec® and muddle no more®. Its not easy to brew a beer this easy to drink. Bud light is tasted by brewmasters every step of the process. Its a tough job, but for you and your friends, its worth it. We dont just brew beer. We brew beer for friends. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody welcome back. My next guest is making his Network Television debut. Please welcome, ramy youssef cheers and applause piano riff hey my name is Ramy Yousseff, and im muslim audience reacts like, yeah, yeah. Like, from the news . Have you guys seen our show . Fox news or any of the news, really. Theyre all about us. I get why people are afraid. I do. Especially if you dont know a muslim, of course. Even if sometimes i watch for too long, im, like, whoa, am i going to do something . laughter they make it seem inevitable. I feel like, no matter what i do, im just going to turn 30 and get a hogwarts letter from i. S. I. S. applause no, seriously, there is going to be a dude at my house with a beard and says, youre a terrorist, ramy, you have been one the whole time and we start in september. Ill be, like, yeah, cool, do i get a wand . Id join i. S. I. S. If they gave me a wand. A wand is way cooler than democracy. Seriously. Thats not real. I dont know what is real anymore. Like, i agree with trump when he says fake news. All thes in feels fake because none of it really affects me. Like i see this tragedy on a screen and im sad, but then i have my day, and its fine. Like, i remember if day the muslim ban happened. I was upset. I have family that doesnt have citizenship. You know, i want to see them again. But personally, i had a really good day. laughter that day, i got cast in a taco bell commercial. laughter applause so, yeah. Im watching tv and this guy is, like, this is a terrible day for all muslims. Im like, well. Not all muslims. laughter and it was this shell made out of fried chicken, and i had this line i had to say. I go, a shell made out of tried chicken . Thats inconceivable. Then my mom texted me and shes like were not sure if your uncle can get back in the country. I was, like, wow, mom, thats crazy. But yo you want to know whats inconceivable . This shell. laughter obviously, i dont agree with the ban. Of course not. But the problem is i do agree with, like, every third thing that trump says. Its like a weird multiple choice test. Hell be like mexicans are rapists, muslims have got to go, the government is broken, it could do better. Ill be, like, one of those is true. But are all of them true is this laughter and then he says some things that are definitely true. They have nothing to do with the debate but hillary would be up there and say this is what im going to do about i. S. I. S. And bring ac jobs. What about you, donald . He would be just, like, La Guardia Airport sucks. I would be, like, it does, man hillary hasnt talked about la guardia all year shes lying, check the emails. laughter and now were here. I still think were going to be okay. I really do. I believe in god. Like, godgod. Not yoga. Yoda. laughter i get it. Religious culture could be crazy. I grew up in a town where i watched my gay friends struggle to come out to the religious community. Now i live in l. A. Where im a religious person struggling to come out to the gay community. applause and tell them what i think. Theyre just like you believe in god . Dude, thats so guy. laughter for me, god is hope that theres more to life than whats in front of us. You know, that even if things seem impossible, theres still a chance that it could be okay. And im not trying to be preachy, im really not. All im trying to say is just submit to islam because its the truth laughter applause and thats the only way you will be saved. Seriously, thats the only way. Trust me. cheers and applause stephen you can see him on the Upcoming Season of mr. Robot. Ramy youssef, everybody well be right back. ,, makewith instant moisture utes from ky ultragel. cheers and applause stephen thats it for the late show. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be tracy morgan, timothy simons, and musical guest, dan auerbach. Now stick around for james corden and his guests goldie hawn and kevin bacon. Goodnight cheers and applause band playing captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where you come from its gonna be all right its the late, late show ladies and gentlemen, all the way