Im sorry, were all a little on edge here. Step five wrap the box in a heat shield. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes Nick Offerman. Wayne gretzy. And morgan spurlock. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen thank you very much hey, everybody whats going on . Hey, whats up . Thanks everybody. Welcome to the late show. Thanks so much. Nice to be here. Oh, my gosh. These are lovely people to spend time with every night. Thank you so much for being here, everybody. Welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert, your host. It is another Beautiful Day in the trumpy hood. Another Beautiful Day for him to show you his wood. Allegedly. There is continuing fallout an grabup from last weeks bigmouth billy bush. Did you know trivia question did you know there is someone else running for president . Hillary clinton. Its true, you can look it. Every day, we get another revelation about clinton from wikileaks. Any more, and were going to need wikidepends. Cant even tell im wearing a pair. The latest the latest wikiwikileakyleaky, is a list of the Vice PresidentS Hillary Clinton was considering. It was just released. It includes political superstars like minnesota senator amy klobuchar, and secretary of agriculture tom vilsack the vilsack attack. Also in this wikileakreleased list are Business Leaders like apple c. E. O. Tim cook and starbucks c. E. O. Howard schultz. But, apparently, hillary decided against schultz because the race already had one pumpkinspiced candidate. But there were almost 40 names on the full list, and Clinton Campaign chair john podesta organized them, apparently, into women, latinos, african americans, and military and Business Leaders. Groups he called rough food groups. Which, of course, can only mean one thing john podesta eats people. Probably could mean other things, too, but thats the first thing i thought of. Coincidentally, i just got my hands on Donald Trumps list of potential v. P. S. Its tom brady, meatloaf, all my kids not tiffany and a handdrawn picture of boobs. Pretty good. Pretty good likeness. Jon i see that. Speaking of rambly old men, last week bob dylan won the nobel prize in literature. applause yeah. Im on board. I love it i love it. This is great for bob, and it finally proved someone can understand what hes saying. Theres just one problem the Nobel Academy says they cant find bob dylan to give him his prize. He could be anywhere, but if i were looking for him tonight, i might try the kiva auditorium in albuquerque, new mexico, because thats where he is. Grab him during a hard rains gonna fall. Thats, like, a fifteenminute song. You guys like dylan . Jon yeah, yeah. Stephen dylan is amazing. I love his lyrics. You have seen him lately . He does mumble a lot and he likes to change up the instrumentitationave song. I saw him at Madison Square garden it was, like, i dont know, 200 a ticket or something, and he played alternative tunes, too, like hit songs. And you also cant understand what hes singing, so you dont know what song hes playing at any time of day. Like, the entire thing, i hear him say, hey. Is this tambourine man . Is he doing tambourine man right now . I heard a hey. I cant tell. Wait, he said, maggie. Is that maggies farm or is he covering rod stewarts maggie may. Someone, pass out a glossary now, the Nobel Committee says they will celebrate with or without kill an. If he doesnt want to come, he wont come. It will be a big party in any case. Someone just won the nobel passiveaggressive prize. Meow meow applause cheers actually, maybe its better if he doesnt come. Nobody likes the guy at the party who picks up a guitar and starts playing bob dylan songs. laughter anyway, nobel people, if you really cant find him, just play one of his songs in a commercial. His lawyers will find you. Now say hello to some actual tambourine men, jon batiste and stay human. cheers and applause cheers and applause tambourine man play a song for me stephen jon, do you know why im excited . You can guess why im excited . Jon snap, why that . Stephen tomorrow, tomorrow night we will be lifehere in the ed sullivan theater after the president ial debate. Show time, baby. There is no time like show time. Were going to do it. Jon were going to get them good. Stephen yeah. Where were we . Thank you, thank you, tambourine man. Folks, its been 11 days since we heard donald trump on the gropetown express, and a lot of people have distanced themselves donald trump, at least one arms length. But one person is standing by him, his wife and strategic eye shadow reserve, melania trump. laughter yesterday, melania did interview for both fox news and cnn. She would have gone on msnbc, but Steve Kornacki gets jealous when another supermodel is on the network. The man is an adonis. Now, last night on the Anderson Cooper power hour, melania explained who she really blames for Donald Trumps behavior. They were kind of a boy talk, and he was lead on, like egg on, from the host to say dirty and bad stuff. Stephen yes, it was all billy bushs fault. laughter now i know why they were on a bus. Its easier to throw billy underneath it. laughter applause cheers so, let me get this straight. Melanias defense of donald trump the man who wrote art of the deal is that he got outmaneuvered by a guy who has been deemed by the today show to be unqualified to watch someone else make a festive fall frittata . If billy bush can manipulate donald trump, we have it tow keep him away from heavy hitters like mario lopez. Who put a picture of Steve Kornacki up there . Just imagine what impact billy will have once trump has the Nuclear Codes . Hey, mr. Trump, this is me, billy bush. I think its time to teach finland a lesson. What would you do . I would bomb the bleep out of em. Id blow up every single inch, there would be nothing left. Stephen gone, finland. laughter now, these melania interviews were themselves a surprise because weve barely seen her since the republican convention, where she plagiarized michelle obama. But now that she has resurfaced, we at the late show want in. So please welcom live via satellite, melania trump. Thank you. cheers and applause mrs. Trump, thank you for joining us. laughter my pleasure, stephen. And i want you to know we are completely alone. There is no one else in the room coaching me. laughter . Stephen okay, okay. Good to know. Now, we havent seen you much since your speech at the convention. Yes, that is my choice. They did not send me to live in an undisclosed location. I am a private person, stephen. My life is not a photo op. laughter stephen so, okay. How are you dealing with the pressure of the campaign . Stephen, why are we talking about me . We need to focus on important issues facing our nation, like how the election is rigged. Stephen really . Whos rigging it . The leftwing media, international bankers, amd billy bush. Stephen billy bush. So you dont blame your husband for what he said . Yes, i do. I said to my husband that those words are very unappropriate. Plus, he said them on a bus. Disgusting. laughter this is not the man i married. Stephen well, have you forgiven your husband . Yes. laughter applause cheers stephen you have . Yes, yes, apparently because he he explained it was locker room talk. I did not know this, but when american men gather to sport, they always brag of grabbing women by the billy bush. laughter stephen im sorry. The billy bush . Boosh. Stephen boosh. Okay. So youve forgiven him. I have morthan forgiven, stephen. I have forgotten stephen its hard to believe anyone can forget what he said. Forget what was today . Stephen okay, but numerous women have said they were groped by your husband, as well as beauty pageant contestants who say he walked in on them while they were naked. Those are all lies, stephen. Except the ones where theres videotape. Then its locker room talk. Stephen explain something to me, how is it locker room talk walking in on pageant contestants . Its a womens locker room. Stephen. My husband is kind. He is a gentleman. Stephen okay, hes a gentleman, then why did he say he didnt do it because they were too ugly . Hes raw. He tells it like it is. And these women, woof. Am i right. Up top. Stephen i cant highfive you over satellite. Mrs. Trump, are you all right . I am fine. Im certainly not blinking out in morse code that someone else is in the room telling me what to say. laughter stephen okay. Do you think these scandals will doom your husbands chances among women . No. Women know its boy talk. Bad boys, bad boys, what you going to do . laughter stephen i hate to point this out, but your husband isnt a boy. Hes a 70yearold man. Boys, men its the same. No matter how nice they seem, secretly theyre all foulmouthed billybushgrabbing pigs. Im talking about your husband, your brother, the pope, luke skywalker, all of them. Stephen all men are like this . Yes. Theyre all animals. If only a woman could be president. cheers and applause stephen well, i dont know how to say this, i mean, melania, actually, Hillary Clinton is a woman. Why dont you just vote for her . Aaahoh i cant hear you, stephen. Oh, no, our connection is breaking up. Stephen melania trump, everybody. Well be right back with Nick Offerman and his technicolor. Dream beard. Your Car Insurance policy is 22 pages long. Did you read every word . No, only lawyers do that. So when you got rearended and needed a tow, your Insurance Company told you to look at page five on your policy. Did it say great news. Youre covered on page five . No. It said, blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah. The Liberty Mutual app with coverage compass™ makes it easy to know what youre covered for and what youre not. Liberty stands with you. Liberty mutual insurance. Then shielding lubrication. And cooling. Brrr. With lubrication before and after the blades. Shields and cools while you shave. Proshield chill from gillette. Enjoy your phone you too. inner monologue all right, be cool. You got the amazing new iphone 7 on the house by switching to at t. What . . Aand you got unlimited data because you have directv . . Okay, just a few more steps. Door its cool get the iphone 7 on us and unlimited data when you switch to at t and have directv. cheers and applause my first guest is an actor, author, and woodworker. His new book is good clean fun misadventures in sawdust at offerman woodshop. Please welcome back to the show, Nick Offerman. applause thats a nice piece. Stephen that is a nice piece we have over there, isnt it . Look at that lovely lady over there. Nice joinery. Stephen for the people who didnt join us last time nick was on. Thats the end table he made to have on set here. Its gorgeous. And sturdy, too, sturdy. Thank you. Stephen i wouldnt i wouldnt trust any end table you couldnt stand on. No, you could park a prius on that thing. laughter . Stephen but would you . I would not. Stephen no, you would not. Welcome back to the show. Nice to see you again. Thank you, good to see you. Stephen quick question about the beard can we . Sure. Stephen is that too personal . No, bring it on. Stephen for some men, growing a beard you have to be patient. Is having a beard not a decision for you . Having a beard, youre so associated. Thank you. I hate shaving is i guess the short of it. Stephen just the face . Yes, just the face. laughter . Stephen because thats my favorite part to shave. Every place else is a pain. Then you put the aftershave in and it stings like hell, man. It stings. Anyway, thanks very much, thanks very much. No, its my pleasure. I like to present myself as Mother Nature intended. laughter stephen all right. Cant do that on cbs, im afraid. Now, im a cubs fan upon youre a cubs fan. Serious is tied up. Were taping this before the game tonight. Thats right. Stephen in l. A. How are you handling the stress . Well, you know, i have i have a compart mentallization system. Like, when i allditioned for the role of iran swanson, it took five months to get the job, so for that five months i had to put that information in this drawer that thats not attached to a motion. So i know that something might happen in the coming weeks that would be very good for my baseball team. But i im not attaching emotion to it. And when do you attach the emotion to it . laughter youve loved and lost, is what youre saying. And now youre afraid to feel. I suppose so. laughter ive ive become inured to feeling. Stephen how do you stay so zen about this . You have a sen say, right . You dedicate some of this to your sense. I have a teacher sense means teacher in japanese, in Theater School stephen thats what a lot of parents say when they find out their kids are going to Theater School. Where is your son . In Theater School haha. In Theater School in champagne, illinois, there was a gentleman who taught tea ceremony, and black ink painting. I dont know how he ended up in champagne, but we were lucky to have him. And he and i really hit it off. I would help him in his garden and he would teach me about zen he blew my mind. We were pulling weeds and he said the notion to pull weeds is the same thing that causes us to go to war. And i said inhails please please elaborate. And he said, you know, we want our good sprowts to survive and receive all the nutrients and the sun, and we want to kill the bad sprowts that are taking all of our oil and so forth. laughter stephen did you find a war hawk zen master . That doesnt sound necessarily antiwar . He is he is eye wonderfully sweet artist. And he was simply who will kill you if you try to take his oil. That may have been my paraphrasing of his lesson. Stephen okay. He married megan and i with a tea ceremony. Stephen really . Yeah. Stephen thats delightful. He gave me some of the greatest lessons of my life that i didnt know until later would just always stick with me. And its a lot of what this book is about. Woodworking for me is where i can always maintain the attitude of a student, which is what his greatest lesson to me ever was. Stephen i want to find out about that. Well take a commercial break and i want to talk about the book and i want to talk about wood. Well be right back with more Nick Offerman. applause sick of getting gouged for limited data . Introducing tmobile one. One price, all unlimited for everyone. Get 4 lines for 35 per month each with unlimited 4g lte data. Switch today. f ot steps crickets chirping jet engine heart beat water splashing rain drops engine revving tires on wet road lease the exhilarating 2017 lincoln mkz for 349 a month only at your lincoln dealer. Every time i travel, its the moments that are most rewarding. Because youll never forget them. The new marriott portfolio of hotels now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts today. On that old pc . You know. I know. New pcs are lightning fast. And yet here is the worlds fastest swimmer on the worlds slowest computer. You know about it, now do something about it. Upgrade to a new pc. Why get your eyes checked the Old Fashioned way, when lenscrafters can digitally map them for you. Introducing clarifye, no other eyeexam is more precise. Isnt just a top choice cut of meat. In for under 10 bucks, its a top choice for your wallet. Applebees new handcut, wood fired grilled steak. Now only 9. 99 for a limited time. Only at applebees. Sick of getting gouged for limited data . Introducing tmobile one. One price, all unlimited for everyone. Get 4 lines for 35 per month each with unlimited 4g lte data. Switch today. applause stephen hey, everybody. Were back here with the bearded and a calm and zen cubs fan, Nick Offerman. Nick, youve got a new book you didnt want to put it down on the thing . Theres nothing to use as a coaster . Theres no coaster. Stephen you actually have a present for me. What do you been that . Stephen you made these for me i actually havent seen these until this second. Im thrilled. Its beautiful wooden coasters. Can we get a shot of that . It has the brand of the offerman woodshop. Smolted maple. Stephen whats that mean . You see the dark lines . Stephen thats spalting . Yes, its a fungus. When the tree falls and moisture begins to seep in, specifically in maple, it gets these cool lines. And if you mill it soon enough, you just get a cool pattern. If you leave it for a couple more months, then it rots away and its garbage. Stephen wow. If a tree falls in the woods and no ones there to mill it, does it make a coaster . Exactly. Stephen would you put that over there. There you go, sir. The book is called good clean fun. And its your joy and love of working with wood and what it does for you to do it. Do you have a personal relationship to wood . Sure. The older i get the more my intimacy with wood consumes a large part of my day. laughter stephen talking about the cubs for a second here, what are baseball bats made out of . Primarily ash. Stephen thats exactly right. Point for the man with the bird. Were in a little bit of trouble because the emerald bore beetle is destroying the ash population of the planet. Louisville sluggers in trouble for real. Stephen are Nuclear Weapons even on the table with this one . Because we have to save baseball bats. What can be done . Im not joking. What can be done to save the ash tree . Theres been no solution. Europe is almost and i think of ash trees. Stephen they dont play baseball so it doesnt matter. Thats true. But ash is used to make hurling bats. Stephen a harley, there you go. We have some wood here. And i understand you have a personal relationship to wood, and i wanted to get your feel business wood. What does it say to you . Heres a piece of macog me. Right. Stephen what does mahogany how does it speak to you . How would you characterize it . Its like royalty. If you respect it, then you will not be punished. laughter and when treated with adoration, it gives off a gentle sheen. laughter stephen okay. Not familiar with royalty giving off a sheen. But thank you. applause i like it. Would you ever paint this . Would you ever paint this . God no. Stephen never paint it. No, i would oil it. Stephen heres cedar. Heres cedar. This is cedar. This is western red cedar. Stephen wait a second. laughter but from the eastern slope of the western red cedar. Can you really smell what kind of cedar it was when you did that . Middle on a tuesday morning. laughter stephen its a pisces. laughter applause . Yeah, you can smell it. Its not aromatic cedar, but it has a very specific oh, you smelled what it wasnt. Yes. Stephen you smelled what it wasnt. Thats very zen. Western red cedar is what i make my coo news out of so i know the smell very well. Stephen youre going to hook me up with a canoe plan. Cedar is more like a dependable hippie. Stephen what is a dependable hippie, my friend . Its a hippie, its light on its feet. It doesnt take anything too heavily. But then when the going gets tough, when you face into the headwind, you can count on it. It has an incredible tensile strength. Stephen wow. Also like a hippie, its very fragrant. laughter . Stephen another and last, lets bring it home. Lets bring it home. applause lets bring it home. Lets bring it home with hardwood, okay . Maple. Maple. Maple is what i would call the valedictorian of the cabinet woods, being walnut, cherry, mahogany, and maple. It will pass any test you exact upon it. And its a smart wood. It can it can outsmart all of the other students. laughter in the woodshop. Stephen how does it outsmart them . How does it outsmart them, nick . Thats a great question. Thats between me and Mother Nature. laughter its cellular. Stephen its cellular . Yeah. Stephen cellular. Ive cooked over maple. Have you ever cooked over maple . Just chips. Stephen yeah, yeah. On my charcoal. Stephen ive cooked over fire made of pure main expel it makes your steak taste like a waffle. No kidding. Stephen it does. Im not joking. Im going to check out good clean fun. Its available everywhere books are sold. Nick offerman, everybody. Thanks. applause on the road again [ rear alert sounds ] [ music stops ] just cant wait to get on the road again [ front assist sounds ] [ music stops ] [ girl laughs ] on the road again like a band of gypsies we go down the highway [ beetle horn honks ] no matter which passat you choose, you get more standard features, for less than you expected. Hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just 199 a month. This clean was like pow everything well . It added this other level of clean to it. 6x cleaning my teeth are glowing. They are so white. 6x whitening a i actually really like the 2 steps. Step 1, cleans. Step 2, whitens. Every time i used this together, it felt like leaving the dentist office. Crest hd. 6x cleaning , 6x whiteninga i would switch to crest hd over what i was using before. Crest. Healthy, beautiful smiles for life. Initiating retrieval sequence. Target acquired. Dang it ah come on astronauts can vote from space. Take a break from the election with red or blue tea. Make time for snapple. Thunder thunder thunder [ rock music playing ] have fun with your replaced windows. Run away [ grunts ] leave him leave him [ music continues ] brick and mortar, what . [ music continues ] [ tires screech ] [ laughs ] [ doorbell rings ] when you bundle home and Auto Insurance with progressive, you get more than a big discount. Thats what you get for bundling home and auto jamie you get sneakygood coverage. Thanks. Were gonna live forever you get sneakygood coverage. Thanks. cheers and applause stephen hey. I am proud to say my next guest is a sports icon and possibly the greatest athlete of all the time. Give it up for the white tornado. The main wayne. The manada from canada. Wayne gretzky. Wayne, thanks for being here, man. Good to see you, please. Wayne gretzky. cheers and applause a lot of canadians, right. Stephen what did you say . A lot of canadians here. Stephen a lot of canadians, yeah. We pack them in so theyll take us back after november. For those who may not be familiar with Wayne Gretzkys career. Four stanley cup wins, most goals of all time, most assists of all time. The first number ever retired leaguewide for the nhl. And 10 trophies for most points in a season. cheers and applause now you got me nervous. Stephen i got you nervous. Im nervous. So youve been called the great one since you were 10 years old, i understand. Yeah. Stephen no pressure. laughter how did that happen . What did that mean to you at 10 . Well, some guy decided i scored 400 goals when i was 10, and some guy decided you scored 400 goals when you were 10 . Yeah. I played with some good players. Stephen yeah, yeah. I played defense. Stephen okay. So i got 400 goals. And this guy wrote in a little town, he wrote in a paper, everybody should have their own nickname. A player of that caliber should have a name and he said well call him, the greatest one. And i thought oh, my goodness i dont want that name. And it stuck with me my whole life. Stephen did you feel you had to live up to it when you became a pro . I felt the responsibility of playing well. Each and every night, the cities you played nthe people paid to see you play and you want to play the best you can play. Believe me, i had a lot of bad games, but all in all, i am pretty proud of my career. cheers and applause . Stephen the game, as you see it now when you look at hockey now, has the game change . Oh, yeah. The players are bigger. Theyre faster. Theyre better athletes. The equipments better. Theyre better coached. Its a great time for hockey right now. Our sport is in a good position, its in a good place. Im a fan. I love watching these kids play. Stephen how do you think you would do in todays league . Im 55. Stephen i mean, when you were younger. Oh, okay. Stephen obviously, you wont be in the top 10 now. But when you were younger if you were a younger man in todays league, would it be tougher or easier . Oh, it would be a lot tougher. Stephen why . Because the players are better. But i think that somehow my hockey sense i would have found my way through it all. Stephen your hockey sense. I didnt have the size or the power or the speed. I had to use my knowledge of the game, and thats what made me successful as a player. So i somehow would find a way today, but, obviously, it would be tougher. Stephen was there so many people look up to you. Who was the player you looked up to . There was only one, gordie ho, with e. applause yeah. He was mr. Hockey. The greatest person, the greatest player. I say this all times to people, sometimes you meet your idol and your mom and dad say, hour, was it . Was he good . Was he nice . Was he friendly . Sometimes its not that great. I met gordie howe when i was 10 and i said to my dad, it was bigger and better than that i ever imagined. What was really great about it, i got two hours off of school that day, and i got a new suit. That was my first suit i ever got after the banquet. Stephen how much longer after this . I was 10 in that photo. Stephen how long before you were playing pro hockey. Seven years. Stephen seven years did you ever play against gordie howe. We played together in the world pleeg all star game. That was fun. Gordie was in the locker room, and my sweater was so big i was 145 pounds that year and the jersey was so big, gordie took these stitches and he stitched up my jersey to make it tighter. And i kept the jersey. Gordie howe did it before the game. Thats how great he was. The book is called 99 stories of the game. 99, obviously, was your jersey number. Are there 99 stories in here . Approximately. It was so hard to pick exactly what we wanted. It is the ninth anniversary of the National Hockey league right now, so i wanted the kids to read about the cities and the arenas and the plaers and the teams, the franchises, some of the Great Stories of the players who played the game. I loved the game so much, and it was so good to me. I wrote sat down and wrote something. Hopefully kids will love it. Stephen one other thing about gordie howe. I understand when you broke his alltime scoring record he was there. Yeah. He was he was always around every time i got close to one of his records i would call and invite gordie and colleen to be part of it. Sometimes i would get so nervous because he was in the stands, i could go a week without scoring, and id be saying, oh, my gosh, i have to score a goal here so gordie howe can go home. That was pressure. Stephen did he travel around with you guys . Yes, he did. Hes a wonderful man. And i loved him being around, lets face it. Stephen was it also hockey or do you think there could have been another sport you could have played . My first love and my passion was baseball. As a kid, i grew up i loved the game of baseball more than anything. I just wasnt quite as good at baseball as i was hockey. So i think i made the right decision. Stephen now, i understand you actually ran into the Cleveland Indians in a hotel the other day. Yes, toronto. Stephen gave them a few tips. I gave them a couple of poirnts and both guys hit home run. Stephen so if they win the series, you get to touch the trophy. Yeah, people in toronto will be upset. Stephen 99 stories of the game is available now. The great one, wayne gretzky, everybody. Thank you so much, wayne. Lovely to meet you. applause was she expecting to find ther perfect designer boots at such an amazing price . No. But thats the beauty of a store full of surprises. You never know what youre gonna find, but you know youre gonna love it. Try theraflu expressmax,nd flu hold you back now in new caplets. Its the only cold flu caplet that has a maximum strength formula with a unique warming sensation you instantly feel. Theraflu. For a powerful comeback. New expressmax caplets. ,,,, old computer slowing you down . You know. I know. New computers are superfast. And yet here you are with a new world record for the slowest computer. You know about it, now do something about it. Upgrade to a new pc. Then shielding lubrication. And cooling. Brrr. With lubrication before and after the blades. Shields and cools while you shave. Proshield chill from gillette. Ah, beth. So the elevator is stuck again. With directv and at t you can stream your favorite shows without using your data. That makes you more powerful than being stuck in an elevator with a guy with overactive sweat glands. Sorry, rode my bike today. Cool. Its your tv, take it with you. Watch all your live channels, on your devices, datafree. If you an applebees to see usda choice top sirloin searing to smoky oak perfection on a new woodfired grill. Just wait until you see the price. Woodfired steak with two sides for just 9. 99. Now for a limited time. Only at applebees. Because shevery year. Ow that it kills 40,000 californians. Because she doesnt understand what cancer is. Because she cant spell emphysema. Because she is a butterfly, who fights fires. Because she is my daughter, and the Surgeon General says that raising tobacco taxes. Is a proven way to make sure she never smokes. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody. My next guest is the Academy Awardnominated filmmaker of supersize me. Please welcome morgan spurlock. applause stephen well, nice to see you again. Great to see you, thank you. Stephen its been a long time. Everybody knows you from supersize me and your shows on cnn and elsewhere. You started in feature films, though, right . I did. My very first movie out of college i walked on the professional. Stephen the one with natalie portman. So very glamorous as a p. A. I was up on 96th street and a police horse goes riding through the horse, and they go, morgan, will you take care of what the police horse left out in the road. And im out there shoveling the lefted overs from the police horse and im like, man, this film making is glamorous. Stephen any film you make is a step up from that. You have tackled tough subjects fast food, prison, migrant farming. But also a documentary about one direction. Yes. That this one direction be insulted that theyre included in that list . I feel like those boys needed, you know, a real expoas a about what was happening with them. Stephen how do you think theyd do in prison . They would be very popular. laughter stephen popular, popular. Youve put yourself through some hell doing what you call participatory journalism. The lords work i like to call it. Stephen the lords work. You have ever thought about doing a documentary about what its like to spend a whole day at the spa. Thats the next one. I should do that next. Stephen you need it because your movie right now is called. Rats. Stephen and its been called by you or somebody else, a horror documentary. Yes. I love horror films. I grew up loving horror films. I grew up in west virginia, and my parent in the 70s took me to see movies you should never take children to. I had terrible parents. The exorcist jaws, scanners. When michael irons made that guys head explode in scanners changed my life forever. Stephen how old were you . Nine. Come on, stop judging stephen theyre judging your parents. Theyre not judging you. Well, theyre terrible people. But that was the moment that made meantime it to make movies forever. Stephen why a documentary about rats . Why cowe need to know more about rat . Because theyre evil and scary. Stephen are they evil and scary . I think we are so scared of them as humans stephen most people dont like rat. Most people dont like rats. And i think doing a film about them, but shot like a horror film, scored like a horror film, plays into our fears. Stephen it absolutely is. We have a clip here. And in this clip, its new york city . It is right downtown, probably 40 blocks from here. Stephen and these are people looking for rats . Rat catchers. There is a guy named bobby corrigan, the guru of rat on earth. If you have a rat question, call him. He has a rat academy in new york its true and hes taking the members of the rat academy on a rat safari. Stephen jimmy, lets go to the rat safari. Here we go. Thousands of rats running around, thousands of them. Kick that bag right there. He were they come. If you come late at night, theyre running across the street and everything. They say we dont have a rat problem. Oh, my gosh whoa theres always more. Unbelievable. Look at all the young ones. There are more rats in new york city than there are people. Theyre monsters. Stephen is that true . Are there more rats in new york city than there are people . I think there are more rats in this theater than there are people. laughter stephen lets find out. Oh stephen heres a little guy. Why should i be afraid of this fella . Come here, little buddy. The little leptsporoseis. Stephen whats that . A disease that could cause internldz bleeding or some, you know, organ failure. Stephen he wouldnt do that to me. Fun things like that. He could have a little zika. A little ebola. Stephen really whos got a little ebola. Stephen a little ebola. Whos got a little treat for stephen. Stephen there you go. Now, let me ask you this where in the world did any to study the rats . We went all over. We traveled around the world, new york, new orleans, india, cambodia, vietnam. Stephen do people eat rats . In vietnam we coa scene in vietnam where they transport them over in vietnam they wont eat the rats from vietnam. They import them from cambodia. So they get, like, freerange rats from cambodia. Stephen really . True story. And so did you eat any rat . I did not eat rat. I did not. Im a hill bill frewest virginia so i grew up eating squirrel tree rat. Tree rat. Its like a sexy rat. Its like a much prettier rat. Stephen did you hunt the squirrels . I hunted the squirrels. I killed the squirrelses with my grandmother my grandmother taught me how to hunt squirrel. The very first time i killed a squirrel, i shot it out of the tree with my. 22, and i said should i shoot it again . And he said, dont waste that ammunition. And she picked it up by the tail and went wham wham wham laughter applause she was a classy lady. Stephen are rats getting tougher . Theyre so tough. Rats evolve 10 times faster than human beings. Stephen what . Those are like marvel superheroes. Theyre like super rats, like the xmen of rats. You can create a poison for rats and within a few generations they will start to develop an immunity to that poison. Stephen thank you for making me so upset. Rats airs on october 22 on discovery channel. Morgan spurlock, everybody well be right back. ,,, woman how do we protect them from 4 billion in new cuts to california schools . Man vote yes on proposition 55. Woman prop 55 doesnt raise taxes on anyone. Man not on working californians, not small businesses. No one. Woman instead, prop 55 simply maintains the current tax rate on the wealthiest californians. Man so those who can most afford it continue paying their fair share. Woman . To prevent new education cuts. Man . And keep improving californias schools. Woman vote yes on prop 55 to help our children thrive. Ppats it for the late show, everybody tune in tomorrow for our live postdebate show, when my guests will be hugh laurie, paul reiser, and nate silver. Now stick around for james corden and his guests shia labeouf, cobie smulders, and rachel bloom. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where you come from its gonna be all right its the late, late show