Didnt we didnt have any of that. Stephen its called twitter. You should know we have a black president now. Its amazing. Im glad my fellow reps followed through with the spirit of the emancipation product lamedication. Stephen hes a democrat. After all i did for them . Stephen yep. Great catching up. I have a live show to do. Ive got to get down t theater. Ntheater. Dont go to the theater its a trap its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight stephen welcomes rob lowe, kal penn and emma willman, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its word war one, the sorry, america. Your time is up. cheers and applause . Captioning sponsored by cbs stephen hey whats up, joseph . Hows it going, jon . cheers and applause stephen hey , whats up . . cheers and applause whoo thank you very much welcome to the late show, everybody. Thank you so much. Hey, everybody we cawelcome to the late show, everybody. Thank you so much. Im Stephen Colbert, and not only is this audience alive, tonight we are live broadcasting from the ed sullivan theater boom live means in the excitement of the moment, if i make a mistake, it can never be taken back. I would like you to keep that in mind, when you go vote this next november. Never can be taken back. Jon please do. Stephen so deep breath, everybody. Lets come up for airport we all just watched donald trump and Hillary Clinton debate for an hour and a half. Coming into tonights debate, des two strong emotions, panic and pantscrapping. laughter democrats have not been this nervous since Anthony Weiner asked to borrow their phone. laughter jon whoops stephen of course, i wouldnt do it. Not worth it. Not worth it. Jon no. Stephen the expectations for the two sides were very different. For hillary to win, had to be confident, not smug, knowledgeable without being know shrill, likable, warm, authoritative and not coughing. laughter meanwhile, donald trump had to not commit murder. laughter on camera. laughter and that low bar was reflected in Donald Trumps debate prep. Instead of doing a bunch of mock debates, the word is that he sat down with friends over bacon glasses of cocacola and tested out zingers. Wow thats how i prepared for tonights debate, too laughter and he may not have prepared, but it also looked like he didnt. laughter meanwhile, hillary was so prepared, my new nickname for her is preparation h. Yeah, its a compliment. In the primaries, she already proved she could soothe the burn. laughter i dont know what that means. Of course, it did not take long for one of these two candidates to tell a lie. Donald, its good to be with you. laughter stephen false where are the facts checkers . Where are the fact pinocchio then secretary clinton went on the offensive on the topic of Climate Change. Donald thinks that Climate Change is a hoax perpetrated by the cheese. I think its real. I did not. Ts science do not say that. Stephen lets go to the tweet. Donald trump tweeted the concept of Global Warming was created for and by the cheese to make u. S. Manufacturing noncompetitive. Look, in all fairness, there is by the cheese to make trump noncompetitive. You dont know. applause you dont know. Jon we dont know stephen for months now, donald trump has questioned hillarys health repeatedly, and i gotta say, there was one possible health scare on stage tonight. Trump sounded like he was fighting off a cold with cocaine sniff, sniff we have to renegotiate our trade deals with mexico sniff, sniff laughter stephen he sounded like the coked up best man in the bathroom at a wedding. No, no. You guys, i got it sniff i know how to fix the economy. Lets go in together sniff buy a boat. Were going to start a laughter he was like scar face but with more face. laughter the debate was moderated by Nbcs Lester Holt which makes sense since he hosted dateline and is used to two rich white people who want to murder each other laughter and at times the crowd was a little rowdier an allowed in the rules and lester holt had to scold them. Let me admonish the audience one more timre agreement. We asked you to be silent. Stephen all right, so help me i will turn this debate around and neither one of these people will be president. Stop clapping. Trump no, no clapping. Where was i. Okay. Trump went on to explain why hillarys detailed plan to defeat i. S. I. S. Was a bad idea. Look at her web site you know what . This shes telling us how to fight i. S. I. S. Just go to her web site. She tells you how to fight i. S. I. S. On her web site. I dont think general Douglas Macarthur would like that too much. Stephen yeah, general Douglas Macarthur would be, like, what is this web site you have . And what is this why is it asking me to donate 50 to a Hillary Clinton . laughter now, when the topic moved on to racial strife in this country which is a touchy felt he knew exactly what the problem was. First of all, secretary clinton doesnt want to use a couple of words, and thats law and order. law and order theme sound byte stephen thats a cheap joke and serious subject. You were saying . Im sorry. We have to bring back law and order law and order theme sound byte hes right. Fact check. A very good show. We miss you sam waterston. laughter still when it comes to Public Safety and national security, trump was proud of his endorsements. I was just endorsed by ice. Stephen now, actually, i dont think immigrations and Customs Enforcement is allowed to endorse a president ial candidate. In fairness, he might have been talking about being endorsed it sure wasnt ice t. It wasnt physical scumplet he also knows about cybersecurity. As far as sciesh, i agree, cyber stephen yeah he knows a lot about cyberring. Has america tried unplugging terrorism and plugging it back in just to reboot the middle east . And trump went on to explain that he didnt know if the russians hacked the d. N. C. , it could have been someone else. It also could be somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds, okay . audience reacts stephen hey i dont care if it is essential to the security of our we do not say things like that no cheers and applause maybe we do. Then trump told the biggest lie of the debate. I think my strongest asset maybe by far is my temperament. laughter stephen maybe. Of course, well never know if his temperament is really his strongest asset because he wont release his tax returns. Do you realize how lester holt is angry with you right now for clapping . laughter and at the end of the debate, things really started to go off the rails. This is a man who has called women pigs, slobs and dogs, and someone who has said pregnancy is an inconvenience to employers never said that. And women though i did say the slob thing and it was funny. laughter so we got through it. We managed to get through 90 minutes of these two people on stage going at each others throats. In tend, there was really only one word that summed up how this whole debate, this whole election feels and donald trump captured it. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Stephen wrong. applause wrong. The only phrase he says more often is i do. We have a great show tonight cheers and applause when we come back, well find out if tonights debate changed any minds, plus weve got rob lowe and kal penn so stick around, everybody ah, im in there as katie. Ill call you later. Or. No i wont, ill text you, because what am i your dad . Dont stay out too late . Yea, just text me. Thank you, get home safe. This must be what Antonio Brown feels like touchdown Antonio Brown [crowd cheering] this must be how lucas felt when he finally got katies number. . Pepsi. This is the story of how mr. Bonejangles met his match. Mr. Bonejangles was always looking for something. But he never found it. Until one day. Seven in dog time. Exactly what he didnt know he was looking for fell right in his lap. No, of course not, hes a dog. But thats the beauty of a store full of surprises. You never know what youre gonna find, but you know youre gonna love it. Marshalls. Your surprise is waiting. backwards music backwards music music the cadillac ct6. Then we wad it up to make it nice and soft. But grandma, we use charmin ultra soft so we dont have to wad to get clean. Mmm, cushiony. And we can use less. Charmin ultra soft gets you clean without the wasteful wadding. There. No wasteful wadding cheers and applause . Welcome back to the late show say hi to jon batiste and stay human, everybody cheers and applause keeping it alive. Okay. Now, the whole point of this debate tonight, the main prize the candidates are vying over is the elusive, undecided voter, and there are a lot of them. One in five people arent sure who they will vote for. In fact, one in two candidates still isnt su president. laughter i mean, it makes sense that people are torn. These are the two least popular candidates in history. Thats including the 1892 contest between oswalt the orphan strangler and box car johnny typhus. laughter so it if after all this time te entire election is going to be decided by these few undecided voters, i wanted to talk to one of them myself. Undecide voter Charles Hansen from ohio. Thank you, mr. Hansen. Thank you stephen thank you so much. Mr. Hansen, thanks so much for being here. Thank you, stephen. Also good to be here or not im still figuring it out. Stephen i understand, mr. Hansen. Voters like you hold the election in the palm of your hands but you have been having trouble your mind . Absolutely. I am 100 behind donald trump. Stephen really . What did trump say tonight that put you over the top . Well, i really liked when he said helped to bring back law and order. I love the woman star. Stephen strong argument. You werent swayed by secretary clintons moment when she said she not only prepared for president . That was good. Okay, im voting for hillary. Stephen just wanted to make sure. So her missing emails are of no concern for you . Forgot about that one. Okay, make America Great again stephen can i hold you to that . Youre definitely voting for just remembered trump university. Never mind. Im for her, stronger together. Stephen you clearly havent put enough thought into. This do you think you will be able to choose dont count on it. Stephen well, there are two more president ial debates. Do we think those are going to help . Outlook not so good. laughter stephen what about the Vice President ial debates is this will those make a difference for you . Rep reply hazy, try again you answering my questions using a magic 8 ball . All signs point to yes. Stephen while you really, really cant decide anything, can you . I know, stephen i feel so lost i woke up this morning and i told myself, today im going to decide. The next thing i know im naked in a rock quarry swaling email server and tax returns in the dust with my tears stephen im going to help you. Go on instinct. Youve got to decide right now, gun to your head, trump or clinton . silence stephen mr. Henson mr. Henson, can you hear me . Oh, im sorry. I was imagining a gun to my head. laughter stephen undecided voter charles henson, everybody be right back with rob lowe . The Bud Light Party wasnt invited to the debates. . But we dont need them. We have debates of our own every night. A hotdog is a sandwich. Over bud lights, of course. Its pronounced jif. You cannot outrun a zebra. Heres to good natured civil debates. Also, its gif. I tried hard to quit smoking. But when we brought our daughter home, that was it. Now i have nicoderm cq. The nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release i struggle with bipolar depression, and its tough. It leaves me feeling sad and empty. It makes it hard to be there for the people i love. So i talked to my doctor and she prescribed latuda. There are many forms of depression. Latuda is fda approved to treat bipolar depression which is different from other types of depression. Onceaday latuda was proven effective for many people with bipolar depression. Latuda is not for everyone. Call your doctor about unusual mood changes, behaviors, or suicidal thoughts. Antidepressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults. Elderly dementia patients on latuda have an increased risk of death or stroke. Call your doctor about fever, stiff muscles and confusion, as these may be signs of a lifethreatening reaction, or if you have uncontrollable muscle movements, as these may be permanent. High blood sugar has been seen with latuda d to coma or death. Other risks include decreased white blood cells, which can be fatal, dizziness on standing, seizures, increased cholesterol, weight or prolactin, trouble swallowing and impaired judgment. Avoid grapefruit and grapefruit juice. Use caution before driving or operating machinery. Being there for the people i love means i get to be a part of lifes little moments. And that means so much to me. Ask your doctor if oncedaily latuda is right for you. Ohalleran i had some really tough cases as a police detective. But the problem in washington is as clear as day we cant trust our politicians to work for us. Tom ohalleran has a plan ss a budget, reduce the influence of big money and special interests, and no more firstclass travel paid for by taxpayers. Im tom ohalleran, and i approve this message cheers and applause . Stephen hey welcome back to the live show, my first guest tonight has been a politically active dreamboat for as long as you can remember and he still looks younger than you. Please welcome rob lowe cheers and applause stephen nice to see ya that was fun. That voter was an idiot, though. Stephen that guy . He was an idiot. Stephen what a tool. Unbelievable. Im happy youre here but i have a bone to pick with you. Okay. Stephen because this whole damn thing might be your fault. What did i do . Stephen youre very influential. You realize that, right . Be careful where you point that face. This is it. Because we have footage that proves you have been looking forward to 2011. Ready . Why do you like donald . I think donald should run. I wish hed reconsider, theres still time. If palins thinking about getting in, theres still time for you to reconsider. I think it would be great. I really want to see you in a debate. It would be good to see you keep people honest in a debate. Will you reconsider . I will say this, i watch those debates and they are on stephen you got what you want. All i have to say, stephen, is my work here is done. Stephen are you rawngs mole by any chance . I am from the kgb to ruin the country stephen youre trying to look like your evil twin tonight with that hair on your face. Thats a compliment. I take it as a compliment. Stephen have you made up your mind . After that, im going with dratted. Donald drank so much water that i am very concerned for his health. Stephen maybe he ate a lot of beef jerky before the debate. Whats it going to take to get rob lowes vote . You have been politically active. You campaigned for arnold schwarzenegger. I campaigned for both sides i can always pick a winner. Stephen wow i have been on both sides of it. Heres the thing, my new show code black is coming out. I want every voter to watch, no matter how stupid. Stephen no matter how stupid the voters are. Stephen so youre not going to say which side youre on. When the ratings come in, i will tell you. Stephen youre a businessman. Stephen youve met both these people, trump and mrs. Clinton. I have. Mrs. Clinton is one of those politicians that in rooms of small people shes really funny, she totally gets it. Then sometimes she can be out in public and come across as stiff and maybe whatever, but shes always been really sweet and funny, and president clinton wrote me a nice note about my book completely out to have the blue. Thats how good they are. They want that one last vote in california. Stephen what about donald buddies. Stephen do you have any relationship with him . Have you spent any time with him . I havent. Stephen has he written you a nice note . No, but he donated to the charity i was on the show promoting, habitat for humanity, and he out of the blue donated 5grand to us. So that was nice of him. Stephen so rob reason can be bought. No question. laughter stephen youre very likable. People like rob lowe, right . cheering hell, Hillary Clintons likability numbers are low. Do you have any advice for her . Anything . My favorite hillary thing is the move she does, its so beautiful, she does it every public appearance. When she walks out, she waits and then she gives the look of, oh, my gosh, i didnt know you were here point. Stephen can we get a shot of that . Its always like she did it at the debate more, its going to solve everything. Stephen she just has to point at every person in america. Yeah, exactly. Stephen now, you not only have the support of politicians but youve played a politician in the adaptation of bill oreillys work. I played j. F. K. Stephen do you think you could play trump . Would that be an appealing role . When i try my trump out, it comes across as my bernie burl he does this with the hands. Stephen he always dhuz. Ive got the hands stephen my favorite thing let me see the size of your hands. Well, theyre small enough, sad to say. My favorite move of trumps is you know its true, its so true, we all know it is. Its so true and anybody knows. And we know it is. Policy, policy, policy i love that when you get to see the reading and the stephen have you thought about politics in any serious way in. Yeah, the only thing that i woer what Ronald Reagan did. He was an actor and ran gore Screen Actors Guild president and governor and then president. So Screen Actors Guild president i would run for only because its the only office i know exactly what my platform would be and it would be all actors get to break for lunch one hour earlier on the set. Stephen thats it . Thats it. I dont care about your residuals and multiple platforms and streaming and the internet, day. Stephen okay. And by the way, it would crush anybody. So bring it. You and i, Screen Actors Guild. Stephen i have no interest in Holding Public office. laughter ive tried to run for office. I tried to run for president twice. They said, go away, you smell bad. laughter also, i had Hillary Clinton on the show a couple of months back and we have another clip here. In april, she and i shed some light on some of the smalst came up in one of the issues she raised. Jim . And all americans should have access to healthcare. Ideally, whatever rob lowe is getting. That guy looks amazing. Stephen doesnt he . cheers and applause shes got my vote thats it its over stephen you did not come here as a plug for this, but we grooming. You laugh now. Put it on and you will look like me. Stephen i might laugh later, too. laughter recharge, age combating serum. Thats the undereye serum. Stephen how much of this . It doesnt go in your mouth laughter it goes under your eyes for dark circles and bags not that you have any stephen ive got to say,st do you actually use that stuff . I do. I designed this line. It took me eight years to do it. Stephen thats a slow worker. Do you think im a natural chemist . laughter stephen eight years . What did you experiment on, sloths . It had to be perfect. Stephen i regret eating that. Your tongue looks so Young Stephen thank you very much. laughter youre famous for people saying all . My insides are 150. Stephen a little rough living . Some rough living but no, you know, listen, i have been blessed with good genetics and i take care of myself. Not to get too serious, but being young is more about your attitude on life and i think that makes you look and feel young snore also not being old helps. Its a math thing. Stephen its a math whatever you are in years, thats what youve got. Stephen a firm grasp of the obvious, rob lowe. Thank you very much. The show code black is not new, but youre adding. Youve been brought in as a former special ops guy . Im based on real army trauma surgeons who are bringing everything weve learned on the battlefield in terms of trauma, age medicine is now, im bringing that into a los angeles hospital. Stephen how long since youve done tv . Its been about three seconds. Stephen did they literally just grab you off one set and put you on another and changed your clothes and died your hair . When im a free agent, im not on the market lock and i love it. Im grateful for it. Its a great show and im happy to be on it. Its a Emotional Trauma and a nice change for me because i have been doing comedy for so many years. Stephen thank you for doing comedy with us. Thank you. Stephen rob lowe thanks for being on the live show code black season 2 premieres this wednesday back with kal penn cheers and applause initiating retrieval sequence. Dang it ah come on astronauts can vote from space. Take a break from the election with red or blue tea. [ on the road again, by Willie Nelson ] . On the road again . [ rear alert sounds ] [ music stops ] . Just cant wait to get on the road again . [ front assist sounds ] [ music stops ] [ girl laughs ] . On the road again . . Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway . No matter which passat you choose, you get more standard features, for less than you expected. Hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just 199 a month. F you turn out to be a great athlete or whatever but, you need to make sure you get your college degree. Sometimes i call the house, just to hear her voice. phone ringing answering machine hi, leave a message after the beep. beep hey mom, this is larry. I just want to let you know that uh, i fulfilled the promise that you held me to. Love you. . cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody welcome back cheers and applause welcome back, everybody my next guest rose to fame in a harlton kumar in survivor. Please welcome kal penn . cheers and applause stephen nice to see you. How are you . Stephen fine. Thanks for being here for the live show. Thanks for having me on the live show. Thats exciting. Stephen we never really the president s party. That was nice. Yes. And before that i ran into for a neil you came in backstage and had a card. You said tell me if this is funny, is this funny . I thought you thought i was somebody else. I thought, Stephen Stephen is nong Stephen Harold and can you d is funny. Was that thing funny . I dont remember. Stephen i dont care. Leading into the debate, be were you nervous before the debate started . I wouldnt say i was nervous. I was curious. Stephen thats what a guy who was really nervous would say after he calls down. Of course i was nervous. I think i was nervous because you dont know what either of particularly trump, right, and i wanted to give him a shot. Stephen did you . I did ill tell you, why i have a lot of republican friends who espouse very conservative stephen some of my best friends are republicans. No, im not going to say that. But i heard him i couldnt tell whether he was talking about a tax on something sometimes or if he was talking about attacks like on i. S. I. S. And then i realized he doesnt have a plan for either so it didnt really matter. And then thats when sort of watching. Stephen you worked for the obama white house. Did. So im a little biased. Stephen youre a little more than a little biased here. Was there anything he said that could have swayed kal penn . I dont think so. When you talk about cutting funding for education and talk about deporting guys like harold and kumar, i just cant get behind you okay with him, hate to tell you. I think kumar is a much bigger problem. Thats fire. Stephen i legally have to ask you, are you high right now . I am not. Stephen all right. All right. Stephen now, as i said before, were going to check later sure. Is that what the pee test was for . Stephen yeah. You know youre sworn in. If you lie on its plagiarism and its live, too. You did work at the obama white house. Which is really fascinating. You were already a working actor and you said i want to stop and go do something in public service. Why did you do that . I had a lot of friends serve overcase seas in iraq and buddies who couldnt afford college. So like a lot of people, to be fair, take a leave of absence thousands of people do this for a year or two years or eight people and its amazing. Stephen is it as sexy as it sounds . I work in the white house do you use that as a pickup line . Its a very small place and you share an office with five or six incredible people in this tiny room, room after room, and it was awesome. Youre very humbled walking in there every day. Stephen i understand you served associate. Stephen associate director of Public Engagement. Yes. Stephen sounds like a fancy name for party planner. I wish. Stephen what is the associate director of Public Engagement . There are several. It used to be called the office of public liaison under previous administrations, basically an outreach office. I headed up outreach to young people, for example. President was big on making sure dont tell, pel grants, whatever, and i put meetings together and brought people to the table. Stephen did you see the president. You would see him in the hallway. I remember there was an executive order i was working on which is a piece of paper basically he has to sign. Stephen you wrote up an executive order . Im nowhere near smart enough for that. Agencies are put together to send this thing process, but i was the idiot who had to brief him before he signed it . Saying, mr. President , this is what youre about to sign. He knows but you brief him. The two weeks before, its nerve racking and im thinking im is son of immigrants, my grandparents worked with gandhi, its incredible i have a couple of years to do. This you see the president before, people around the hallway, i didnt have meetings, didnt shave for two weeks, but the night before i shave, get a haircut, get my suit pressed and walked in the oval office when its time to brief the president and i sat one thing in and the first thing he says im thinking im excited to tell everybody about whats going to happen i took one foot inside the oval office and he said, hey, look who decided to shave today applause and i was, like, man stephen thats very absolutely and, of course, i cant tell my mom this story. She would be horrified. Stephen thanks for being here. Good to see you. Yes. Stephen designated survivor airs wednesday night on abc. Kal penn, everybody well be right back cheers and applause . This is lynchburg, tennessee. This is how many are fifth generation. This is how many are named hiawatha kitty mcgee. These people have served their country. This is how many will still be in town when the Football Team plays at huntland. Shes from taiwan. Hes german. This guy keeps the town dry. These guys would prefer it a little wet. This many have ejected from an sr71 blackbird and lived to tell about it. He can lift a 500pound barrel of whiskey. These are the descendents of mr. Jack daniel himself. This is how many people are proud of what we do here. This is how many will go around bragging about it. This is our town. For 150 years, the home of jack daniels. If you cant get here, just look for one of our postcards. We send them all over. Cathys gotten used to the smell of lingering garbage in her kitchen yup, shes gone noseblind. Sfx ding, flies, meow after cat lands music starts febreze air effects heavy duty has up to. Two times the odoreliminating power to remove odors youve done noseblind to [inhales] mmm. Use febreze air effects, till its fresh and try febreze small spaces. To continuously eliminate up to two times the odors for 30 days. Febreze small spaces and air effects, daughter mom, ready to go . Hls app on your phone. Huh . Yeah, your coupons are already in your digital wallet. Oh, cool. Vo all your coupons in one place. The kohls app. Vo now thats the good stuff. Mother cool. Daughter can we go shopping now . When cold and flu hold you back try theraflu expressmax, now in new caplets. Its the only cold flu caplet that has a maximum strength formula with a unique warming sensation you instantly feel. Theraflu. For a powerful comeback. . We have debates of our own every night. A hotdog is a sandwich. Over bud lights, of course. Its pronounced jif. You cannot outrun a zebra. Heres to good natured civil debates. Also, its gif. To get a cma certification, you have to brave 8 hours of testing only 50 will pass. Done. So if youre one of them, feel free to brag. Youve earned it. Oh yeah. I want that. Whos next . Im next. After her. After him. The cma certification. Youve got to earn it. cheers and applause . Oh, youre in for a treat because here tonight making her television debut, please welcome the very funny Emma Willmann . cheers and applause thank you so much thank you, guys awesome im so excited to be here on your live show cheers and applause nice. This is great. My name is Emma Willmann, and if i say it too fast it sounds like i said im a woman. laughter and they will be, like, yeah, thats cool, i was pretty sure. laughter good to meet you. I get so frustrated when people think im trying to look like ellen degeneres. Its so frustrating because im trying so hard to look like nick carter, you know. laughter its nick im from a tiny town originally. I grew up in a town of 800 headlines that would read like this the thief has been arrested it was rick laughter its always rick, every time. Thats the thief, rick. We had a gay pride once in my town and it was one person skipping down main street, that was it. One person skipping and everyone was, like, go, steve, go laughter and then a protester showed up just walking after were going, steve, skip faster, go, go, go the protester was yelling at him, like, scop stop skipping and the protester was his father laughter i used to go back and forth when i would come out of closet in my standup, but now i do it right away because i dont want anyone sitting and wondering if im an awkward looking straight girl, you know. Here if i was, like, guys, im having problems with men. Yeah. You would be, like, sure, i would hope so, actually, yeah. laughter but i hate that stereotype that lesbians are mean to men. Do you think lesbians are mean to men . Have you ever talked to a straight married woman over 45 . Mean to men . Give her some white zinfandel, shell commit a hate crime, she doesnt care. She is going in shes, like, hes a typical man, a more ron who cant commune cairkts doesnt pull his weight around the house. Youre going, okay, lady, well, youre talking about your son and hes a toddler, so scale it back. laughter im in a relationship now but i was single for a long time, you know, because of my schedule and my personality, whatever, whatever. laughter im always in a state of confusion because im dyslexic. Which means i confuse left and right, and right and wrong, you know. laughter i always try to blame things on my dyslexia constantly. Im, like, i didnt know im dyslexic im an idiot, i didnt know i get so confused with dyslexia do i pay in the store, out of the store . What do i do . laughter amazing. I got stopped at a associate checkpoint, just a random stop, and i got nervous, and then the cop goes, to prove you havent been drinking, i want you to do the alphabet backwards ooh im super dyslexic. Im, like, no problem, buddy, thats how i was going to do it, anyway. This is good. laughter little voice message, but i notice every time she leaves me a voice message, every time, she identifies herself. Every message. Like, i would get a message from my own mother and be, like, who is this . Every message starts, hey, its your mother. Its your mother like anyone else calling me up saying, hey, just looking at you in the baby. You were very cute. Call me back immediately. You know who this is. Its rodriguezo your landlord cheers and applause . Stephen Emma Willmann, everybody well be right back . Stephen thats it for the late show cheers and applause live debate coverage, we did it, and we did it live join us tomorrow when my guests will be sean penn, Sutton Foster and Regina Spector now stick around for james corden, everybody cheers and applause . Captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by