Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170801

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 715, wisconsin steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness. Thank you so much. Oh, my goodness. Hi welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it, this is the show to be at. [ cheers and applause ] youre here, you made it. Well, heres what people people are talking about, some big news out of washington. Today President Trump officially removed Anthony Scaramucci [ light laughter ] as his communications director. And this is a little awkward, when scaramucci called an uber to pick him up at the white house, sean spicer was driving. [ laughter ] steve thats not good. Jimmy can you imagine the odds . The odds of that happening. Steve awkward. Jimmy thats right. Scaramucci lost his job after just ten days [ light laughter ] following an obscene interview with the new yorker. You know its bad when you get fired after ten days and everyones still like, what took you so long . [ laughter and applause ] thats bad. So hes out hes out after just ten days. So scaramucci is gone, but his cologne will linger forever. [ laughter ] and get this, scaramuccis official start date was supposed to be august 15th. [ laughter ] or as trump put it, see, were setting so many records. [ laughter ] hes the first person to ever get fired before they start working. [ applause ] were setting so many records. And it came out that scaramucci actually missed the birth of his son last week, because he was with trump. So he this is real he texted his wife congratulations. [ audience oohs ] trump was like, you dont text your wife after she has your baby. You tweet her. [ laughter and applause ] thats right, last week was the craziest week yet for the trump white house, and when things get crazy, the gop turns to its fans for support. Luckily, the gops biggest fan is with us tonight. So, here to offer them some words of encouragement, is gop fanboy john early. Hey, john. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for this popcorn, jimmy. [ light laughter ] jimmy now, please. So, what do you have to say to the gop . To my boys in the gop, dont let those haters get you down despite some minor hiccups this past week, and every week before that, you guys continue to slay all day [ laughter and applause ] jimmy now john, on friday, Reince Priebus was forced out as chief of staff, after just six months in the position. Do you have a message for mr. Priebus . Keep your chin up, reince. [ light laughter ] daddys not sorry, donalds not mad, just disappointed. Take your time out to think about what youve done. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy and priebus leaving just came a day after Anthony Scaramucci called the new yorker to rant about priebus and steve bannon, and now hes fired. Do have any words of support for scaramucci . Keep telling it like it is, mooch we as a nation love that youre not pc and or fake. Enjoy that time off, babe. I hope you spend it like steve bannon would, by sucking your own jimmy oh, wait. John, john, john, john, john. [ laughter and applause ] john. What . Jimmy john, youre on national television. I cant hear anything youre saying right now, i think its a connectionbased issue. [ light laughter ] jimmy well work on that. Well, finally the gop is having a lot of trouble getting a new Health Care Bill passed. President trump has called out the republican senators on twitter, telling them, they need to repeal and replace obamacare. Anything you want to say donald trump about this . Stay strong, d. T. You better work and by work, i mean needlessly take away the health care from the very people you promised to protect. Who hurt you . [ applause ] jimmy gop fanboy, john early, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] and we talked about this last week, President Trump responded to a letter from a 9yearold boy, nicknamed pickle, who wrote in to say that he was a a fan of the president. Well, pickle actually went on fox and friends this weekend. Take a look at his reaction to one of their questions. You know, a lot of kids write letters to the white house, but not all of them get an answer from the president himself. What did you think when you heard the president had read your letter and wants to be your friend . What did you think, buddy . Whatd you think . [ light laughter ] youre shocked . [ laughter ] jimmy that kid was so good at avoiding questions, trump named him White House Communications director. [ laughter and applause ] steve wow. Jimmy today. Steve today. Jimmy pickle. Pickle pickle is in the white house. And finally, i read that five baby flamingos were just born at the sacramento zoo. [ audience aws ] and this was nice, the mother even got a text from Anthony Scaramucci saying congratulations. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show tonight, give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey thank you very much, thank you roots. You guys, its monday, were very excited to be back. We have a big week of shows ahead. Tomorrow night, Jeremy Renner will be here. Were going to play [ cheers and applause ] were gonna play a game of blow your mind. Steve boom. Jimmy its going to be fun, yeah. Then, later this week, halle berry, ice cube, and jessica alba will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] we have performances from george ezra, Louis Tomlinson featuring bebe rexha. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy but first, we have a a great show tonight. From the new movie the dark tower, idris elba is here. Look at this guy. [ cheers and applause ] hes a stud. Steve come on. Jimmy i love this guy. Later in the show, idris and i are doing something fun called Google Translates songs. [ cheers ] its ridiculous, but it will be fun. Plus, she created and stars on the Comedy Series nightcap. The very funny Ali Wentworth is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] we love Ali Wentworth. And we have great music from tame impala, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] heres the album right here. Currents. I love tame impala. You want a you want a taste of the tame impala . Steve bust me off a piece. Jimmy yeah. Love paranoia. Jimmy that was tame impala. Thats all you get. Steve is that it . What . Jimmy just a little taste. [ light laughter ] steve just wet your beak. Jimmy yeah, just wet your beak a little bit. cause theyre gonna come out i actually, i went to a a a concert last night. Steve whered you go . Jimmy i saw neil sedaka at the steve really . Jimmy yeah, at the West Hampton Beach Performing Arts Center. Steve Performing Arts Center . Jimmy yeah, and you knew it was the Performing Arts Center . Steve yeah, i love West Hampton Beach. Every time im there, i go to the p. A. C. [ light laughter ] jimmy i went to the p. A. C. It was just neil sedaka and a a piano. Thats it, no band. Steve thats all you need. Jimmy and he crushed. And he did every one of his hits. It was great. And then he asked me to go up and sing with him, which i always get embarrassed to do, cause im going to see him. No one wants to hear me sing. But, i was just naming the months in calendar girl. Steve right. Jimmy he names all the months. [ light laughter ] steve he did all 12 months . Jimmy no, maybe i think he leaves out august. I dont think he mentions august. But he he leaves out one or two months. But anyways, i couldnt really even remember the months, cause i was nervous. Im like its like january . February. And im like, what comes after february . And then im like mar march april april im like, screaming. April and then people were like, boo anyways [ light laughter ] i want to thank neil sedaka. It was a great concert last night and [ cheers and applause ] go see him if you can. Hes great. Steve april jimmy guys, whenever i get some down time here at the show, i like to go on instagram. Steve really . Jimmy and scroll through all the photos. Steve i did not know that. Jimmy one thing ive noticed is that a lot of times, two people will write the exact same caption, but the pictures they post will be completely different. Steve what . Jimmy yeah, ill show you what i mean in this next segment. Its time for picture this. Picture this picture this picture this yeah picture this [ cheers and applause ] jimmy okay, look at this first example. Its from al gore and donald trump. Steve wow. Jimmy they both wrote, an inconvenient sequel. Al gore posted a picture of his new movie poster. Donald trump posted a picture of donald trump jr. Steve oh, my. [ laughter and applause ] did he really . Jimmy isnt that weird . You see what im saying . Steve the exact same words. Jimmy this next this next one is from lebron james and Anthony Scaramucci. Steve lebron james and Anthony Scaramucci. Jimmy they both wrote, you know where to find me. [ light laughter ] lebron james posted a picture of a basketball court. Steve okay. Jimmy Anthony Scaramucci posted a picture of linkedin. Steve wow, thats not [ laughter and applause ] jimmy hes available. Hes available. Very available. Next we have one from rachel from the bachelorette. Steve oh. Jimmy and education secretary betsy devos. They both wrote, ive been looking for him my whole life. Rachel from the bachelorette posted a picture of a wedding tuxedo. Betsy devos posted a picture of waldo. Steve oh, my god. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy you cant find him. Steve you cannot find him. Jimmy its very hard. Very very difficult. Steve her entire life. Jimmy very difficult. Heres one from miley cyrus and mike pence. Steve oh. [ light laughter ] miley and mike. Jimmy they both wrote, watching baby driver. miley cyrus posted a picture of the movie baby driver. Mike pence posted a picture of trump in a firetruck. Steve oh, my god. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy tweet, tweet, tweet. Steve drive through a a wall. Jimmy next, heres one from mcdonalds and chipotle. Steve oh. Jimmy they both wrote, now back for a limited time. Mcdonalds posted a picture of the mcrib. Chipotle posted a picture of the norovirus. Steve oh, my god. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy but its a limited time. Short window. Steve short window of survivability. Jimmy yeah, guac is extra, i apologize. In advance. [ light laughter ] this one is from Oprah Winfrey and rick perry. Steve oh, my gosh. Jimmy they both wrote, i could lose myself in this for hours. Oprah posted a picture of war and peace. Rick perry posted a picture of a corn maze. Steve oh, my god. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy very easy to get lost. Steve you could get lost in there for hours. After eating a corn dog. Jimmy heres one from facebook and red roof inn. They both wrote, over a a billion users. Facebook posted a picture of their home page. Red roof inn posted a picture of one of their beds. Steve oh, my god. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy billion users. Steve thats a lot of people. Jimmy and finally, heres one from pizza hut and taco bell. They both wrote, we know why you come here. Pizza hut posted a picture of a a pizza. Taco bell posted a picture of a a joint. Steve wow. Jimmy there you go, guys. Thats all the time we have for picture this. Well be right back with idris elba, ladies and gentlemen. Come on back [ cheers and applause ] its not easy to brew a beer this easy to drink. Bud light is tasted by brewmasters every step of the process. Its a tough job, but for you and your friends, its worth it. We dont just brew beer. We brew beer for friends. We dont just brew beer. Out out get get get grrr did you find everything okay, sir . Whaaaaat . Ball park franks got their right here in the ballpark. They soon became a summer tradition, passed from one generation to the next. With the taste of 100 angus beef, ball park franks bring on summer. Francisco. It started at midnight and fishermen say this year could be a turnaround after a bad season last year. Add and on our twitter page. Three men, taken into custody in los angeles after a chase. One of the suspects, making moves like a worm after being caught. The video is on our feed. [ indistinct chatter ] [ intense music playing ] its here, but its going by fast. The opportunity of the year is back the mercedesbenz summer event. Get to your dealer today for incredible onceaseason offers, and start firing up those grilles. Lease the gle350 for 579 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is a a golden globe awardwinning actor who stars opposite Matthew Mcconaughey in the new movie the dark tower, which is in theaters this friday. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome idris elba. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy look at you. Youre a come on, this is a a star right here. Come on. Thank you, thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy beautiful. And i have to comment on your shoes. Oh, yeah jimmy oh, man, what are these jams . You know what im saying . A little some gucci loafers. Jimmy yeah. [ cheers ] youre pulling it off. Youre pulling it off, baby. Pretty good. Just literally two minutes ago, i was putting cream on my ankles cause they were really ashy so, im glad i did that. Jimmy yeah, exactly, i didnt know he was going to cut some sorry about that. [ light laughter ] hey well well take it right out. Nobody no, its cool we can take theyre nicely creamed up now. Jimmy no, no, perfect. Lets just move away from this. Jimmy were you at the premiere the premiere is tonight, right . The dark tower. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, i had to straight after this, were going to go open that movie, yeah. Im excited, man. Jimmy your daughter is going to come . Yeah, yeah. Jimmy does she think youre the coolest dad in the whole wide world . Not anymore. [ light laughter ] i mean, shes like no, she loves me, but she does you know, she just tells me to calm down a little bit. [ light laughter ] you know . Jimmy cause why, you just love her too much . Well, she just thinks im trying to be cool all the time. Im like, i am cool. [ laughter ] jimmy exactly yeah, exactly. You are cool. [ cheers and applause ] shes always trying to quiz me on rappers, and i dont know whos who any more. Jimmy yeah, me neither. I dont know anything, yeah. But that will be fun, it will be a big a big deal. Im excited. The films a good film and, you know, like Jimmy Stephen king, i mean come on. Yeah, stephen king, right. Jimmy no one gets better than that. Did you get to meet stephen, though . I did meet stephen on the set. He was really excited about me playing the part and jimmy id be frightened. He scares me. [ laughter ] like i dont think im happy i dont know him. Yeah, theres a lot of darkness. Jimmy i love him, i respect him, i dont i dont want to meet him. Its just he scares me. Hes the best at writing the horror things. Yeah. Jimmy i mean you got to be a little demented, you know theres a lot of darkness. Jimmy well, i mean you write all those things, right . I gave him a hug immediately. I was like jimmy you did . You need one. [ laughter ] jimmy you hugged stephen yes, yes, you need a hug. He needed it. Jimmy he does need a hug. He needed it. [ light laughter ] jimmy oh, hes a genius, man. Hes great. He is a genius, yeah. Jimmy i always find some interesting facts on you when i do research on you. You wanted to be a dj at one point, is that right . Yeah, yeah, i mean jimmy a radio dj . A radio dj, yeah, yeah. I deejay now, but i i wanted to be on the radio with the mic, you know, the midnight hour, ladies and gentlemen. Howre you doing . [ cheers ] jimmy yeah. Hey, yall this is all right, were going to take it down for you tonight. [ cheers ] look, i know you feel feeling it at home and, you know, things you had a hard week. Jimmy oh but that just listen to idris on the quiet storm. [ cheers ] jimmy the quiet storm . Did you ever do it . I did. I did do it one time, but, yo, check it out, it wasnt exactly how i planned out. So well, i answered this ad for a Radio Station, you know, young intern. Boom, took it. And it was actually a hospital that had no, for real, they had a house a hospital that had its own Radio Station and they would play, you know, music for the patients and they could click on and they would get shoutouts and jimmy good idea, thats a a great idea. Great, but it was just the shoutouts were weird, you know what i mean . [ laughter ] it was like you know, hey mr. Davis, how you doing . I hope that catheter is looking okay over there. [ laughter ] jimmy hope that catheter is looking okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thats a bummer. Thats a bit awkward in places, but it was a good experience. Jimmy hope that catheter is looking good, yeah. Then you did you do like a a pirate Radio Station . Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Probably when i was about 19 til like 20. I worked on jimmy howd that work . Climax fm. Jimmy climax fm . Yeah, yeah. Jimmy would you like would you be in a van or something . What would no, no, no, we used to be in a little tower block in east north london. North london, i cant give you the address, of course. But north london jimmy it would be illegal, yeah. Yeah, it was illegal, yeah. And i had a show from 6 00 til 8 00 on a saturday. I had the drive time show. I loved it, i loved jimmy were you like were you ever scared that you were going to get busted . No, no. Not really. I mean, cause basically you had to climb up a couple of roofs to get into the studio. [ light laughter ] you know jimmy no one could be bothered, right . Its just awkward. You get into your show, you had like dirt and leaves and dust all over you. Jimmy yeah yeah. Lets talk about dark tower. You, Matthew Mcconaughey, how hes great, hes great. Yeah, hes a good guy. You know, we we only had like two, three days actually shooting, me and matthew. Jimmy oh, really . Yeah, cause he, you know, he didnt he didnt work much if im honest, but, you know, i i [ laughter ] no, im serious he he had like four days on the movie and i had the whole movie, but anyways jimmy yeah, exactly, yeah, whatever but, you know, hes a a really hes a jimmy thats hilarious. Hes a good dude. Hes a really good guy. Jimmy hes laid back. Hes cool. Hes very funny, yeah. Jimmy yeah. Hes very funny. Jimmy you did you did he do, all right, all right, all right . All right, all right no, today, you know, we had like three days of press and i heard him say that about fifteen times. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah. Because everyone asks him to say it, right . Everyone asks him that, yeah. Jimmy yeah. So but i got to know him this trip and hes really good hes a great actor, hes very dedicated to what he does. And i learned a lot from him, just watching him work. It was good. Jimmy do you remember your first line like in a in a a movie, like does that stick in your head . Like do you have an all right, all right, all right . First line oh, my first line was my bike [ laughter ] jimmy yes, of course, yes [ rim shot ] thats fantastic, wow thank you, thank you. Jimmy so now, everywhere you go idris now everywhere where you go, youll be like, dude, take my bike [ light laughter ] what was it, my bike . Yeah, i was doing an infomercial for for i guess a lot of bikes were getting stolen, so some someone was like, lets make a a commercial about guys locking up their bikes. And i played it while running up this hill and my bike was supposed to be there and its not there. And i look, the guys stealing it i go, my bike [ laughter and applause ] jimmy fantastic. I love that infomerical, it was my favorite. My bike jimmy yeah, my bike i want to show everyone a clip here. Heres idris elba in the dark tower. Take a look at this. [ gunfire ] [ screaming ] [ gunfire ] [ screaming ] jimmy thats how you do it. [ cheers and applause ] that is how you do it right there. Idris elba. The dark tower is in theaters on friday. Idris and i are doing something fun after the break. Stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] Liberty Mutual stood with me when this guy got a flat tire in the middle of the night, so he got home safe. Yeah, my dad says our insurance doesnt have that. What . you can leave worry behind when liberty stands with you™. Liberty mutual insurance. Whats going on here . Um. Im babysitting. Thatll be 50 bucks. You said 30. Yeah, well it was 30 before my fees, like the pizzaordering fee and the dogsitting fee. And the rummage through your closet fee. Are those my heels . Yeah yeah, were the same size. In shoes. With tmobile taxes and fees are already included, so you get four lines of unlimited for just 40 bucks each. For a limited time save 300 dollars on the amazing iphone 7. But what about the start . S at the finish that moment you suck up all that doubt that fear all those reasons why not and decide to begin. Get your game on with under armour. Now at kohls. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody, were here with idris elba right here. Come on. [ cheers and applause ] they love you. They love you. Idris, everyone knows youre an amazing actor. But not everyone knows that youre also a great singer. What . Jimmy yes, you are. [ laughter ] i thought it would be fun if you and i performed a few songs. But heres the catch. To mix things up a bit, we fed these songs into Google Translate, and were going to perform the jumbled lyrics right now. It is time for Google Translate songs. Here we go. Google translate songs [ cheers and applause ] jimmy now if youve ever used Google Translate, you know its not always perfect. For example, when translated to latvian and back, the tonight show starring jimmy fallon becomes this is Jimmy Fallons show tonight. [ light laughter ] so we did the same thing with popular song lyrics. Some people have done this online, its super fun. Were going to try this right now. Idris, you are my guest, so youre up first. Heres your microphone. Oh, really . Oh, thats nice. Jimmy yeah, very of course. [ laughter and applause ] you will youre our guest. Oh, yeah, no, im the guest. Jimmy yeah. Okay. Jimmy youll be singing the Google Translate version of baby got back by sir mix a lot. [ cheers and applause ] translated it is called the baby escaped. [ laughter ] okay. Jimmy roots. Check one, check one. [ cheers and applause ] i mean did anyone understand anything i said . Jimmy no, yeah. Thats the fun of it. [ light laughter ] thats the fun of it. Okay. Jimmy all right. It is my turn. Here we go. Ill be performing the Google Translated version of the 1 1998 Britney Spears classic, baby one more time. Boom. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy which is now called meet my kids. [ laughter ] here we go. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow, that was heartfelt. Did you feel that . Yeah, i know. Jimmy that one came from the heart. Last one at Google Translate, there must be a few poets. Jimmy yeah. That was beautiful in poetry. Jimmy for this last one, lets do a duet. Yeah, okay. Jimmy is that good . Mmhmm. Jimmy this is [ cheers and applause ] this is ill make love to you by boys ii men, but well be singing the translated version, which is called ill place kindness on you. [ laughter ] boom. Jimmy ill place kindness on you. Roots . Lady, ill always love you. No matter what you do. Im going to place kindness on you. And your heart will never see mine. Jimmy idris elba, everybody. Thank you, thank you very much. Jimmy the dark tower is in theaters this friday. Stick around, well be right back with Ali Wentworth. [ cheers and applause ] hundreds of dollars on youmy car insurance. Saved me huh. I should take a closer look at geico. dog panting geico has a 97 Customer Satisfaction rating and fast and friendly claims service. Speaking of service . Oooo, just out. It was in. Out. In out. In what about now . That was our only shuttlecock. Take a closer look at geico. Great savings. And a whole lot more. Except for every ladies night. Vegetarian. Only glad has forceflex to prevent rips, leaks, and punctures. So whatever you throw in the bag. Stays in the bag. Be happy, its glad. [crunch] yeah [slap] [slap] [punch] [crunch] america by simon and is that good . 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We need it to live. But what we dont need are surprises, like extra monthly fees. I see you, fee, played by legendary actress anjelica huston. You got me, mark. Internet for one everyday simple price and no extra monthly fees. Food. Water. Internet. We need it to live. For all the streaming and the shopping and the newsing, but most of all. For the this. Internet for one everyday simple price and no extra monthly fees. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. Thank you so much for being here and watching this. Our next guest created and stars on the television Comedy Series nightcap, which airs its Second Season finale this wednesday at 8 00 p. M. On pop. Please welcome the lovely, the funny, the entertaining, Ali Wentworth [ cheers and applause ] hi jimmy thank you for being here. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Im so happy to be here. Jimmy i have a lot of questions. You look gorgeous, first thank you. Jimmy and welcome and thank you for coming on. I have a question. Yeah, ask me anything. Jimmy how was your weekend . Oh, my. Thank you for asking. Jimmy because yeah. Because i saw this. You saw my instagram . Jimmy yeah. Yeah. Jimmy i saw this photo and it says, these are my pajamas. Yep. Jimmy they were on fire. Yep. Jimmy longstory. Yep. [ light laughter ] [ audience ohs ] jimmy what the hell happened . What happened . Well, it was not sex with my husband, if thats what youre thinking. [ laughter ] jimmy no, no, no, no. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, so i went to my Little Sisters wedding and i stayed at a b and b and i woke up with little red bumps and i googled it and it said bed bugs. And they said i know. I know, dont get near me. Jimmy it was bed bugs . [ light laughter ] you see now we you can take that chair with you. Yeah, oh, yeah, no. [ laughter ] hey, ali stop so yeah, i dont know if it was bed bugs, but i think it was. And so one of the things it said in google was to microwave all your clothes. [ light laughter ] jimmy what you mean, in wait what first of all in the google. In the google. Jimmy in the google. It said microwave your clothes, thats how you kill the bugs, it doesnt say for how long. [ light laughter ] so jimmy you cooked i put my jamies in for four minutes. [ light laughter ] jimmy did a flame come out . Yes flames came out. Jimmy oh, my gosh. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy yeah. So and i also burnt my sweater, and then i just threw my clothes away. And i come back to new york. This is northern california. Jimmy yeah. I dont know if i brought bugs with me to our apartment. Jimmy this is terrible. I also got three stds in my sleep. Jimmy no, no, ali, ali, ali, ali. That is not true. No, i dont. Jimmy that didnt happen. No, i didnt jimmy no, no, you didnt get that. Im clean as snow. Jimmy yeah. How is your no. [ light laughter ] jimmy how is your husband, by the way . My husband, george stephanopoulos. Jimmy george stephanopoulos. Yes. Jimmy yes. He is great. Hes probably asleep by now. Because he gets up at 2 30. Jimmy does he think im the greatest golfer in the world . He thinks youre the greatest golfer lover in the world. [ light laughter ] jimmy no, golfer. Here, i have a great story. George stephanopoulos. Im golfing with mario batali. Yeah. Jimmy and im playing golf, which is fun. And i go, i got to split, i got to go to work. And so george came in to do the second half of the nine holes. And he came in and i was like, oh, ill do just one more hole. So he was, like, your replacement . Jimmy yeah. He subbed for you. Jimmy yeah. Yeah. Jimmy he was the better yeah. Jimmy better me. And so, anyways, i hit it, and i almost got a hole in one. Yeah. Jimmy and i just i let the ball on the green. I go, you pick up the ball, i got to go. Later, dude. Yeah. [ light laughter ] george, nice to meet you. Nice meeting you, dude. And i got in the car, im like, oh, my god [ light laughter ] so i texted batali like, dude, he must think im fantastic [ light laughter ] i awful, im a terrible golfer. He thinks youre the greatest athlete ever to live. [ light laughter ] jimmy it was so yeah. Jimmy i did that, im like, take care, man. Nice to meet you, george. Yeah. Jimmy take care. I was like i got in the car, im like, oh i know. I know, hes like, yeah, im not good enough to play with fallon. Jimmy it was the coolest move i ever did. Well, i cant wait to tell him that youre actually horrible at golf. Jimmy no, im terrible, yeah. But im very consistent. Yeah. Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] so my husband is probably asleep. Jimmy yeah. We just celebrated 16 years together. I know you, too, are married. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah. Hey, good for you. 16 years. 16 years. Jimmy how did you meet . We met on a blind date. I was living in los angeles. I was single. I know, shocking. Well, how was this on the market for even one minute. [ light laughter ] what with the bed bugs and the stds and everything. [ light laughter ] and jimmy [ indiscernible ] one girl and i had, like, a girl party, a birthday party, all girls, and everyone said, yeah, and you have to start dating, ali. I said, you know what, i live in l. A. Its either agents or actors, im not interested. Jimmy yeah. And they said, oh, well, no, thats what you do. You know, get back on the horse. And one of them said, you should go out with my old boyfriend, george stephanopolous. I said, no, thank you. [ light laughter ] not interested. Jimmy not interested. No. No, not my type. I grew up in politics in d. C. Like, no. I was like, when is Matthew Perry getting out rehab . Thats who i want. [ light laughter ] so [ applause ] jimmy what . Yeah. Jimmy when he gets out when he gets out ill be ready. Jimmy when he gets out, youre ready for him. Ill be ready. Or hugh grant. Jimmy oh, yeah. I want to be mrs. Hugh grant. Jimmy Matthew Perry or hugh grant. Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy but then different jimmy george stephanopolous, totally different dude. So, i know. So, i said, you know what, i was going to new york in a few weeks. I thought, it will be a good dinner party story. My date with george stephanopoulos. So jimmy yeah. I called him up, and i said, hi, its Ali Wentworth, im coming to new york. He said, great, how about dinner . And i was like, ooh, thats a a commitment. I said, what about coffee . He goes, what about lunch . I said, uh okay, how about barneys . Because i thought i get my kale scrub. Like, it wont be a total waste of time. [ light laughter ] jimmy oh, my god. So jimmy so youre going in with the right attitude. Yeah. Jimmy yeah, of course. So im going in with the right attitude. And again, i didnt shower, i did not shave my legs. I wore a black suit. I read the New York Times cover to cover because i knew it was going to be smart talk. [ light laughter ] i was not in l. A. Anymore. Jimmy smart talk. Yeah, okay. And i came in and we sat down, we both ordered the crab salad. And im telling you, by the end of lunch done. We were engaged two months later. Married six months later. And by the way, after lunch we went outside and he said, it was nice to meet you. I was like, well, in l. A. , if they like you, they throw you over their shoulder and take you back to their cave. Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] i dont know what this means. So jimmy nice handshake because hes a gentleman. Nice to meet you. Jimmy hes a classy gentleman. So a few nights later, we went on some dates. And we were in a cab, and i thought, oh, i guess were going back to his place. Because, again [ light laughter ] if you got this [ laughter ] and jimmy hey, hey stop, stop [ laughter and applause ] so, i think were going back to his place. And i said to him, look, i just i dont want to raise the bar too high. I want to go through a few things. Jimmy yeah. I have a lot of cellulite. [ light laughter ] i am mediocre in bed at best. [ light laughter ] im not limber so dont ask me to anything jimmy yeah, okay, yeah. And i like lights out with a a big tshirt. You know, i went through all my needs. Jimmy yeah, weve seen your pajamas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy you microwave your pajamas. Yeah. And jimmy you might as well just tell him right off the bat. At the end, we pull up in front where i was staying and he just kissed my hand. He was like, no, i wasnt going to try to have sex with you. Ever. [ laughter ] and kissed my hand. He was such a gentleman. And heres the thing. Jimmy he kissed your hand . He kissed my hand. Jimmy thats such a good move. He got it, he got the trophy. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy he got the trophy. Yeah. Jimmy he won. He won jimmy he won, big time big time look what he got. Yeah. Jimmy he married up. Yes, yes. And so then, you know, i went are there any greek people in the audience . Because jimmy any greek people . Opa. Jimmy opa. Opa yeah. Thats a fake greek. [ laughter ] but once you marry a greek person, you know, you marry the country, and georges father is a priest. So he married us. It was like a seven hour service. The priest made me renounce satan, which i was like, wait a second. Jimmy no, no. [ laughter ] lets not i renounce satan. Lets all i can distance myself from him. [ light laughter ] jimmy distance myself from satan, yeah. Yeah. Jimmy okay, yeah. Dont make me renounce him. But yeah. Jimmy you never know. But the greek thing is a a whole thing. And then i we had a baptism, our eldest daughter elliott was baptised. And im a wasp. Which means, you know, we live on alcohol. Were a dying breed. And [ laughter ] when you get christened as a a wasp, you know, you get a a little bit of holy water. Jimmy yeah. And then you go out for mimosas and eggs benedict. Like, thats it. Youre baptised. Not so with the greeks. So my fatherinlaw, the priest, was going to baptise our daughter. Elliott, i had her in my greatgrandmothers christening outfit which is like the white silk with the cap you know the bulbous eyes. Those early american painters of, like, and the sickly children. And, again, the wasps, they get a little cross. They took my baby and submerged her in a copper pot of water. So she goes down and comes up and then she goes [ laughter ] and im watching this in horror. You have two girls. You know what im saying. And im freaking out, and i look over, i see my mother turn to my sisters and go, look away, look away [ laughter ] jimmy look away. And this church was like two different people. There were the greeks and the wasps. Jimmy yeah. And the greeks were watching its a wonderful life. And the wasps were watching the texas chainsaw massacre. [ laughter ] jimmy youre like, this is insane whats happening right now. Yeah, these people were screaming, opa [ applause ] jimmy oh, my gosh. That is fantastic. I want to talk about your show. Yes. Jimmy now lets talk the Season Finale of season two yes. Jimmy is coming up. Yep. Jimmy its on pop. Which is a new network. And its so new, its hard to find. Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] yeah. Jimmy its called pop. Look for it. Its called nightcap. Yeah. Jimmy and its based on booking its behind the scenes of a a late night talk show and the host is name is jimmy. What . [ laughter ] jimmy i know, what . What . And its jimmy a host named jimmy . I know, isnt that crazy . Jimmy a late night host. Wow. Yeah. And hes very hot and funny. But you never meet him. Jimmy you never meet him. You never see him and its real celebritities that come on, and play versions of themselves. So Sarah Jessica parker, and alec baldwin. And this wednesday is our finale. We have j. J. Abrams, and mark hamill doing a star wars thing. Jimmy what . Yes [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats fantastic. Yes, its really fun. Jimmy i want to show a clip here. Heres Ali Wentworth and celebrity guess stars j. J. Abrams and mark hamill in the Season Finale of nightcap. Take a look at this. Here i am. Professional. Staci, talent booker. Tell me about your story in ireland. You were on a meadow . Staci, theres a guy here who says he has a meeting with j. J. Abrams and his new producing partner. Oh, hey, mark. Oh, god, im sorry. I forgot to cancel the meeting about our movie pitch. Mark, its hollywood. These things happen. Let it go, trust me. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how did you get him to do that, thats amazing that was so cool. I know. Jimmy Ali Wentworth, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] watch the Season Finale of nightcap this wednesday at 8 00 p. M. On pop. Tame impala performs for us after the break. Stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] ready, o when we say study you say haul study haul study haul when we say study you say haul study haul study haul everything you need to ready, set, go back to school. What are all these different topped loaded meals . Its an american favorite on top of an american favorite, alice. Its like Labor Day Weekend on top of the fourth of july. Hotdogs. Get your favorites on top of your favorites. Only at applebees. Get your favorites on top of your favorites. When i was too busy with the kids to get a repair estimate. I just snapped a photo and got an estimate in 24 hours. My Insurance Company definitely doesnt have that. You can leave worry behind when liberty stands with you™ Liberty Mutual insurance. The ford summer sales event is in full swing. They are not listening to me. Watch this. Who wants ice creeaaaaaam . So thats how you get them to listen. Take on summer right with ford, americas bestselling brand. Now with summers hottest offer. Get zero percent for seventytwo months plus an additional thousand on top of your tradein. During the ford summer sales event get zero percent for seventytwo months plus an additional thousand on top of your tradein. Offer ends soon. Wh. Mr. Jackson isg into my clasthe rapping teachert. We call it the remainder thats number that remains. Technology is a huge piece of education. Using the pen for the first time on the windows 10 pc is great. Im able to highlight different rhyme schemes, i can actually. See my lines when im shading in, i can change the. Weight drawing directly on my screen. I couldnt do this on my mac. I can definitely see the future. Happening, i mean i feel like the skys the limit. Listen, do you hear that . You always h. Have been. My best. Friend. Forever. To friendship. Music piano cover of guns n roses sweet child o mine it seems like Dwayne Johnson cant possibly take on any more. The rock oh, that sounds like a challenge. [crash] hey siri, get me a lyft ride to lax. [siri tone] [crash] [tires squeal] [jet engine] [siri tone[ painting, painting, painting. Siri mr. Nakamura can discuss your fashion line. Im out. Rock. Hey siri, take a selfie. [siri tone] [siri tone] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i love these guys. Tame impala, my favorite jam i would say is elephant is what my favorite jam you were here so play it loud. Stream it right now. Get look at it is so good, and so loud. I love this band. Theyre a Grammy Nominated band whose critically acclaimed album currents is available now. Performing love paranoia, give it up for tame impala. [ cheers and applause ] i may not be as honest as i ought to be now then when the walls go up i said it didnt worry me but it hit me and i cannot hold it in i can just be paranoid dont quell the desire to know what was really going on does it really matter baby is all you can ask me ok fair play here we go ive heard those words before are you sure it was nothing cause it made me feel like dying inside and i was insecure but its pure didnt notice until i was in love for real and my feels gonna cross the line just to find what your type is if only i could reach your mind ooh id be fine id be normal nows my time gonna do it and suddenly im the phony one the only one with a problem true love is bringing it out of me the worst in me and i know now do you remember the time we were the time we were by the ocean i didnt care if it was day or night we were right where i wanted babe im sorry and some day ill be true sorry [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much. Fantastic. Tame impala. [ cheers and applause ] that was fantastic. Currents is available now. Well be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] whats going on here . Um. Im babysitting. Thatll be 50 bucks. You said 30. Yeah, well it was 30 before my fees, like the pizzaordering fee and the dogsitting fee. And the rummage through your closet fee. Are those my heels . Yeah yeah, were the same size. In shoes. With tmobile taxes and fees are already included, so you get four lines of unlimited for just 40 bucks each. For a limited time save 300 dollars on the amazing iphone 7. What should i watch . Show me sports. Its so fluffy look at that fluffy unicorn hes so fluffy im gonna die your voice is awesome. The x1 voice remote. Xfinity. The future of awesome. Dilike, outside dirt,. Thats not a bad thing. Also, it comes off. Inside dirt, yeah. Thats way different. But now theres a more powerful chevron with techron. Yeah. It has even more cleaning power to clean up deposits left by low quality gas. And cleaning up deposits restores lost gas mileage. Its legit. Now with more cleaning power. Chevron with techron. Care for your car. Nice hat [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to idris elba, Ali Wentworth, tame impala. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. Stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching, have a a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody. Thank you [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight molly shannon. Star of the americans, actor matthew rhys. Music from bleachers featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening, everybody. Im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. According to the New York Times, President Trump has removed Anthony Scaramucci as White House Communications director. Man, that was fast [ light laughter ] if scaramuccwa