Musical guests dirty projectors featuring dawn and the legendary ros crew. Questlove 672. Yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you know it you know it you know this is it, baby. Welcome to the tonight show [ cheers and applause ] you feel it i feel it theres a buzz, theres a buzz in the building tonight. Steve oh jimmy you feel it. This crowd knows [ cheers and applause ] its a great show tonight. Welcome, welcome, everybody, welcome. Heres what everybodys talking about. It was another crazy day in washington. Can you believe whats going on . I dont even know what to say anymore. Yesterday donald trump fired the director of the fbi, james comey, the guy who has been in the news every day since the election. [ light laughter ] he fired him. Yeah. I guess comey heard about it right before a recruitment event he was going to speak at. [ laughter ] he was like, hey, while im recruiting, anyone want to be director . Just came up. Its a new i just got the email. What . Theyre also saying when he got the news, comey thought it was a prank and started laughing. [ laughter ] but to be fair, thats also how trump reacted when he won the election. He was like, okay. [ laughter and applause ] thats very good. Wheres Ashton Kutcher . I love the i love that guy. [ laughter ] all right, lets put this in perspective. People trump has fired, ahead of the fbi. People he hasnt fired, bret michaels, the winner of celebrity apprentice. I mean, he won. [ applause ] of course, it drew immediate reactions from other politicians. When she heard comey was fired, hillary called him and said, aw, did someone take away a a job that was rightfully yours . [ laughter ] awe, too bad. [ applause ] so sorry. Now comey was right in the middle of investigating trumps ties to russia when he was fired, and a lot of people think the president got rid of him to try to make the russia story go away. That might explain this new commercial i just saw. The Trump Organization is proud to announce its newest product, trump coverup. [ laughter ] its the best way to cover up things that you dont want anyone to see because they could damage your look and lead to your resignation. [ light laughter ] just look at this mans problem area. Now, look at him after some trump coverup. Wow, all gone. [ light laughter ] so when you need your problems to disappear, try trump coverup. No one has to know. Jimmy there you go. [ cheers and applause ] guys, i saw that Melania Trump will join donald on his first trip overseas as president. Melania said shes a little nervous for the trip because its always hard traveling with a baby, you know . [ laughter and applause ] i saw that this week mike, this is crazy. This is one of the craziest stories. This really got in my head. Mike pence and his wife, karen, introduced their family rabbit to the public. [ light laughter ] that part i dont mind. Steve yeah. Jimmy did you hear the name of the rabbit is marlin bundo . [ laughter ] do you get that at all . Do you get that . I dont you couldnt think of another how about, like, cinnabunny. Steve yeah. [ laughter ] or bunny madoff. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy thats pretty good. Not bad. Steve marlon bundo. Jimmy chance the rabbit. Steve there you go. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy hair hairy styles. Steve oh. [ laughter ] jimmy any look, if you have a good rabbit name, tweet the Vice President vp and use the rabbit. He reads them all, and lets come up with a better name for this bunny. [ cheers and applause ] marlon bundo . Steve bunny and cher. Jimmy got some tv news here. I heard that abc wants Kelly Clarkson to be the judge on the Upcoming Season of American Idol. [ audience oohs ] [ scattered applause ] because what American Idol winner doesnt dream of ending up back on American Idol . [ laughter and applause ] what . Steve hey jimmy guys, i just saw that nevada just voted to start selling Recreational Marijuana this summer. [ cheers ] of course, after weed is legal in las vegas, things are going to be pretty different. [ laughter ] ill show you what i mean. For example, before weed was legal, the slogan was, what happens in vegas stays in vegas. After they legalized, the slogan will be, wait, what happens in vegas . [ laughter and applause ] steve there we go. Jimmy what . Heres another one. Before weed, it said, you had a great time at cirque du soleil. After weed, you had a panic attack at cirque du soleil. [ laughter and applause ] stop everything right now. Just stop it. Before weed, you wanted to get these chips. After weed, you want to get these chips. Steve yeah. [ applause ] jimmy and finally, before legal weed, you had penn and teller. And after, youll have ben and jerry. There you go. [ applause ] some things are gonna change a a lot. Steve ugh. Jimmy guys, i read about a a coffee shop in toronto that doesnt have any wifi to encourage customers to talk to each other. Yeah. [ scattered applause ] although all the customers talk about now is how they should really get wifi in this coffee [ light laughter ] [ applause ] are you getting a signal . I aint getting any. Oh, this is pretty cool. An 88yearold man from georgia just graduated from college. [ audience aws ] yeah. [ cheers and applause ] he called it the best four years of his life, while his roommate said, college was a a little weird for me. [ laughter and applause ] my roommate was 88 years old. Finally, heres a local story. Police are looking for a man who stole 5,000 worth of wigs from a home in brooklyn. They describe the man as blond or brunette or redheaded. [ laughter ] it could be anything at this point. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots right there, you guys [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, i love it. Its a hot crowd tonight because they know whats up [ cheers and applause ] tonights show, shes the coolest, most hardworking, funniest person. [ cheers ] tina fey is here tonight [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness. Tina fey is on the show. Were going to talk about her tv shows, great news, which is a big hit on nbc. We have Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, which i think is, like, a 100 rating on netflix or whatever it is. Its hilarious. Theyre both great, and she has a new Broadway Musical about mean girls. Steve come on jimmy mean girls, the musical. [ cheers and applause ] too much to talk about with her. And also, we have some fun surprises planned as well. Steve ooh. [ cheers ] surprise. Jimmy something different, its going to be good. Plus from the new hbo movie the wizard of lies. Steve ooh. Jimmy this is the Bernie Madoff story. Steve its the bunny madoff story . Jimmy alles [ laughter ] bernie, no. Steve im sorry. I didnt hear you. Jimmy no. Alessandro nivola is joining us, you guys. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its good, really good. Oh, and we have great music from our pals dirty projectors steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy featuring dawn is here tonight. Guys, its may. Summers right around the corner. Its time to start loading up on some good books for the beach. Steve ooh. Jimmy which means you got to toss out all those bad books you got lying around your house. So to help you out, im about to show you some books that you should avoid at all costs. Its time for my latest installment of my donotread list. Here we go, do not read. [ cheers and applause ] do not read do not read do not read these books these books jimmy now, before we start, i just want you to know that every book im about to show you is 100 real. These are actual books. You can find them on amazon or check them out at your local library. They are real. Lets see whats on my donotread list. This first one here is a a cookbook. Steve oh, great. Jimmy i love cookbooks. Steve love them. Jimmy this ones called for men only. Steve good. [ light laughter ] yes. Jimmy mastering the microwave. [ laughter ] are we that dumb . Are we that are we that steve yeah. Jimmy are we that dumb that we need cookbooks for a a microwave . [ light laughter ] really . These people think men are so dumb . Lets just see. Lets go to a section for seafood here, called meat from the deep. No one calls it meat from the deep. Steve oh. [ laughter ] jimmy maybe we steve that doesnt sound like a cookbook. [ laughter ] jimmy well ill tell you the special the special tonight as far as meat from the deep. We have baconwrapped scallops. Ive never heard of meat from the deep ever. Steve last time i did i got crabs. [ laughter and applause ] come on bunny madoff. Jimmy i didnt give it up. I dont know, man. Now im starting to like marlon bundo. I kind of enjoy it. [ light laughter ] i get it now. I get it. You dont get it . Steve no. Jimmy oh, never mind, man. Steve not so good. Jimmy its over your head. You dont get it, man. I get it, marlon bundo. Steve oh, so its super great now . Jimmy yeah. All right. We got another one here. This is a history book. Steve love history. Jimmy yep, me too. This ones called the history of and social influence of the potato. Steve oh, my. [ laughter ] jimmy its 685 pages. Its like if the bible was only about potatoes. Thats just rude, and theres no pictures. Steve oh, my god. [ laughter ] jimmy i mean, come on. Yeah. Steve sevenpoint font . Jimmy i know. I love potatoes. I microwave them all the time because i dont call them [ laughter ] steve what do you call what do you call them . Jimmy apples from the dirt. [ laughter and applause ] dirt apples. Steve yeah. Jimmy dirt apples. Steve yeah, call them that. Jimmy here we go. Guys, this next up one is short story collection. Steve oh, my gosh. I love short stories. Jimmy yeah, these are ten tales to make your head explode. [ laughter ] by craig run or something. Lets take a lets read the back. See what it says here. It says think. Think as hard as you can. Think so hard, you can feel the veins swelling in your neck. [ light laughter ] steve mm. Jimmy think so hard, your cheeks turn red. Think so hard, your head starts to tremble. Think so hard, your temples begin to burn. Think so hard, you feel lightheaded. This is real. Think so hard, you can no longer hear anything around you. Now think like this until your head explodes. [ light laughter ] i actually might read this one. Steve yeah. [ light laughter ] dont read it dont read it no [ explosion ] [ applause ] jimmy were down to our last book. This ones a craft book. Steve oh jimmy this is called pop toppings poptop terp with kenneth patton. These are pretty cool. These are outfits you can make with those tabs used to pop open a can of soda. Its pretty cool, man. Lets see what you can make here. Steve mmm. Jimmy here it is. That dude is making something. Steve all right. [ light laughter ] jimmy look at that. Its like a winged, winged outfit. Steve wow, its gorgeous. Jimmy it is. It is, dude. Steve yeah [ laughter ] jimmy i like that. Steve yeah. Jimmy i like this guys style. Steve its like billy crudup. Jimmy let me try something on there. Oh, i like this. Steve oh. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] steve smile. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats all i have for this edition of my donotread list. [ cheers and applause ] if you have a book that you think should be on our next donotread list, i want to see it. Send your titles to our blog at donotread tonightshow. Com. Well be right back with the ragtime gals, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] machines dont have emotions. But the rare few can inspire them. With a naturally aspirated 5liter v8 engine, and a 10speed directshift transmission. The firstever lexus lc. Experience amazing. Its kinda hard to describe. Its like a. I dont know. Im just going to say it, alright you are completely and utterly. My friend. Music piano cover of guns n roses sweet child o mine welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx thats like lebron trying to pperform with old equipment. . Foul blows whistle upgrade your game to intels fastest processor. Bite into magnum double cookies and cream. And unleash your wild side. Made with cookies cream ice cream and rich belgian chocolate. Discover magnum. [ cheers and applause ] steve ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever, combining the harmony of barber shop quartet, with the music of bruno mars, please welcome the ragtime gals. [ cheers and applause ] hey hey hey hey thats what i like i got a condo in manhattan baby girl whats happenen you and your ass invited so go on and get to clapping go pop it for a pimp pop pop it for me turn around and drop it for a pimp drop drop it for me ill rent a beach house in miami wake up with no jammies lobster tail for dinner julio serve that scampi you got it if you want it got got it if you want it said you got it if you want it take my wallet if you want it take my wallet if you want it [ cheers and applause ] watch me give it to you cool jewel be shining so bright strawberry champagne on ice lucky for you thats what i like thats what i like lucky for you thats what i like thats what i like sex by the fire at night silk sheets and diamonds all white lucky for you thats what i like thats what i like lucky for you thats what i like thats what i like little darling sex by the fire is just the kind of thing the kind of thing that i like youre so lucky thats just what i like [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well be right back with more tina fey, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] the best tour of italy is the one you create at olive garden. Create your own tour of italy starting at 12. 99. Choose 3 of 9 of your favorites. Delicious new grilled chicken parmigiana. Always a favorite lasagna classico. And all the garden fresh salad and breadsticks you want. Have everything you love all on one plate. May you always get just what you want. Create your own tour of italy for a limited time only at olive garden. We, the device loving people want more than just unlimited data. We want unlimited entertainment. So we can stream unlimited action. Watch unlimited robots. Watch unlimited romance. If you are into that. But we also want more like. Unlimited hbo. Can i stop dying now mark . No cant do mi amigo. Its unlimited. Besides you are really good at it james. Dont settle for any unlimited data plan. Only the at t unlimited plus plan comes with hbo included at no extra charge. How was your vacation . Hey, guys, whats this tomato doing at randys desk . [all coworkers laugh] hahahahaha. You know, that actually reminds me, steve. I got you something. Aloha mangoes can get sunburned. Put some flavor in your break with new snapple mango tea make time for snapple. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. We are joined right now by a a bestselling author, a a multiple emmy and golden globe awardwinning writer and performer, and the producer of two very funny shows, great news, which airs tuesdays at 9 00 p. M. On nbc, and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, which begins its third season next friday on netflix. Please welcome back to the show, tina fey [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tina thank you for doing ragtime gals. Im honored. Jimmy with us on the show. It was so fun, man. I get super nervous whenever i have to sing anything. I get, like, immediately, like, i think i have a sore throat. Jimmy do you have like a a musical theater background . I was a musical theater nerd in high school and stuff. But i always was like the general of the salvation army. [ laughter ] i played frenchie in grease. Who didnt really sing. Yeah, yeah, frenchie. Jimmy frenchie doesnt have a song, no. No song, too. So that was always nice. Jimmy thats the best. But i want to talk about mean girls, the musical. Its coming to broadway. Its moving along [ cheers and applause ] jimmy dude. What are you talking about . How exciting is this . Im so excited. I mean, ill probably come back here like five more times before we actually come to broadway. Jimmy good, good, good, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is a real thing now. And were going to we go do our out of town in washington, d. C. , at the national theater. Jimmy then that means its kind of like a rehearsal . Right. So then, well actually do, when its a new show, you practice it here, and then you go out of town and to either chicago or l. A. So, were going to d. C. Were at the national theater. You can buy tickets now. Previews start on halloween. Jimmy are you excited or what . I mean, the process, how would you even so fun because well, you can sing, but like, ive been in stuff thats like movie musicals or whatever a little bit. And its like, the secret with movie musicals is you can secretly suck and like be a a star. [ laughter ] but you do things on stage. Like these kids are so talented. We have the cast. Now were rehearsing for like a a month. And theres like a bunch of baby timberlakes. Like everybody can do everything. [ laughter ] jimmy baby timberlakes, yeah. They give you like a little packet and water. Jimmy little timberlake. Make a little timberlake. Jimmy little timberlake, yeah. Absolutely. And they just like sing so loud and they dance so hard. Like they learn things like my brain is broken. Choreographer tells them like, okay, in this part its like [ beatboxing ] and theyre like, got it. You got it . You know it . Jimmy i have to rehearse that for two weeks. Yeah, exactly. Gong chakong. Jimmy gong chakong . And then chekong . Okay good. Almost got it. Got it. Jimmy because i was going gong chekong gong . It was super fun. And then my husband Jeff Richmond was writing all the music. And Neil Benjamin is writing the lyrics. Jimmy im so happy. Thats so fun. I cant even well, we all cant wait for it. So its in d. C. Now. Yep. The theater is going to be like three blocks from the white house. You could make a little trip of it. If you like work there and you get fired, come down. [ laughter ] jimmy great. 20 off if you got fired that day. Jimmy its already sold out. Its already sold out, sorry. [ applause ] it just got sold out. Oh, sold out the day i got fired. Jimmy it sold out show. How is the family, hows the kids. Oh, theyre good. Jimmy alice and penelope. Thank you for asking. Theyre getting so big. Jimmy i love them. Time flies. Alice, my older one is 11. And i really cant say more than that because recently she said to me, hey, i was at my friends house and her older sister showed me a link of you telling a bunch of stories about me as a baby on talk shows. And i was like, i dont know what youre talking about. [ laughter ] that never happened. Jimmy and hows the baby . So i cant talk about her anymore. The babys hilarious. Shes five now. Jimmy shes 5 now. Shes 5 shes so funny and shes like definitely little brother, little sister thing. Shes just like in it to win it. Does not the real honey badger. [ light laughter ] and she also like shes funny and she kind of knows shes funny. And stuff like, how did you know that was funny . She knows its funny to put your finger in the crack of your butt and chase people with it. [ laughter ] jimmy she knows that. I didnt know that till my 20s. [ laughter ] shes already got that. On lock. Jimmy you just took your family to Universal Studios . Yeah, we went down to florida. [ cheers ] florida [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, yeah, exactly. I do love florida. We go down there all the time. We went down there disney in orlando. The 5yearold, she wont ride anything that goes fast. But she watches these illegal youtube pov videos of any ride. You can go on any ride basically on youtube and it just shows you like everything thats gonna happen. So shell say like, im not going in the haunted mansion because that guys gonna come out. [ laughter ] the only ride she would go on is she went on your ride. She went on the preview of the jimmy fallon race through new york, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i was gonna ask, how great . How great is race through new york. Its so fun. Hats off, because i really am like a theme park nerd. It has a really good queue. Thats what they call the place that you wait for two hours. Jimmy yeah. And its awesome. Because it looks like this building. I was so proud. We came in and both of my daughters were like, oh this looks like the floor in, they call it, mommys other work. Jimmy yeah, exactly, yeah. Like its what they call snl. It looks like the floor in your other work. And then theres like the roots are basically like the roots are playing for you. Amd its awesome. And then, penelope was like, my little one was like, this is gonna be okay because it has this kind of seat belts. [ light laughter ] like she knows, because she studies shes not going to be tricked. Jimmy penelope sounds like sometimes. Oh, manny. Jimmy oh, manny. [ laughter ] oh, manny. Jimmy oh, manny. But she is. She always thinks were gonna trick her into rides. And shell be like, im not going on it. Im like, no, no ones tricking you. But then, this one, she knew because its the across the seat seat belt. Jimmy if youre afraid of roller coasters. This is the one you gotta watch out for. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We dont mess with that. This one no, no, no. Jimmy this ones so fun. Yeah. And she she was telling everybody, i went on the jimmy fallon ride. I got sick. [ laughter ] she did. She didnt actually get sick. But it is kind of like a jimmy oh yeah. It moves around. Its bumpy. We made Blake Shelton sweat. He was like, wow, thats a a real roller coaster, man. You lied to me. [ laughter ] i want to tell you about congratulations on the ride. Jimmy thank you, pal, come on. I want to talk about congratulations to you. Great news, by the way. You have to watch the show, its on nbc tuesdays at 9 00 p. M. Nicole richie is hilarious, right. Jimmy shes unbelievably great. Shes perfect for this. Ive always been a fan of Nicole Richie since the simple life. I was like, that little ones funny, man. Jimmy yeah. We all knew that. That little one knows what understands whats happening. Jimmy yeah, she gets it, man. And shes super funny. And we said, do you want to be on this, not knowing if she would want to. Then she was like, okay. And then she came. She was great. She plays a sort of very millennial newscaster, the shows about crew at a news room. And basically, this girl works there and her mom is andrea martin. Jimmy the great andrea martin. Who is the greatest. Gets an internship at her daughters work. So its like sort of everyones worst nightmare. Jimmy your mom has to work with you. Your moms at work with you. You would love it right, if your mom was at work with you. [ light laughter ] jimmy just the fact that you mentioned it, im gonna get a phone call like, tina fey said i should come work on the show. [ laughter ] shes joking, mom. Shes joking. Shes joking. Good gosh. [ laughter ] but so andreas great and John Michael Higgins you would know from like every Christopher Guest movie. Theyre super funny. Its on nbc. Com. And horatio sanz. Yeah. Jimmy we were goofing around the other night. He came on the show to talk about it. And hes having the best time. Its a great show. Great news. Check it out. Then you have Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Yes sir. Jimmy which is going on netflix. [ cheers and applause ] netflix next friday. That comes up, the whole series comes up. Yeah, the whole season three comes up on may 19th. And you can check that out. Jimmy its so funny. Jane krakowski, obviously i told you this before, i just love her so much. I love her. Jimmy amy sedaris is insane. Yes. Jimmy shes too funny. Amy sedaris does some good stuff this season. Jimmy ive never seen anything like what shes doing. They might eat sushi off her naked body. [ light laughter ] jimmy she was like we showed a clip. She might get infected by implants. Amy does some stuff this season. [ laughter ] jimmy shes unbelievably great. Fred armisen makes a funny cameo. Fred armisen plays robert durst. Yeah sure. Because why wouldnt he . Mayas gonna be on this year. Jimmy oh, come on. Maya rudolph . Maya rudolph. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, we love maya rudolph. I just love and theres just so many good things. And obviously the stars too, Ellie Kemper Ellie kemper and yeah jimmy and Tituss Burgess are just two of the most talented people out there. They really are. Jimmy the thing also i love about the show, its there so down to like the second frame. Theres always a little easter egg of something that you dont explain. You did it on 30 rock as well. Yeah. Jimmy things that no one knows. Like when they would draw in the margins of mad magazine. Jimmy yeah. I participate. Im an easter egg this year in season three of kimmy schmidt. Its an upsetting one. Early in the season we were shooting. I was really obsessed with this clip of mason reese. Everyone here is too young to remember me. Jimmy i totally remember mason. He was a cute kid actor in the 70s. Jimmy red hair. Red hair and i was obsessed with this video of him tap dancing on the mike douglas show because its just like the most pure, beautiful like his little soul just like tap dancing. And i love it so much that i dressed up like him for halloween. [ light laughter ] which looked horrible. Im clearly like a grown woman. [ light laughter ] jimmy you dressed like mason reese for halloween. Tape my boobs down. And the writers were like, you should do that on the show. So somehow, i dont know. Jimmy this is mason reese. Look for this person. Jimmy this is mason reese on the mike [ laughter ] this is real, sweet, beautiful mason reese. Jimmy thats mason reese. This is what you might find on our show. [ laughter ] terrifying. [ applause ] see if you can spot this face in any episodes of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt this year. Jimmy yeah, yeah. No extra charge. Jimmy look for that easter egg. We have a clip. Heres Tituss Burgess and ellie kemper in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Season three premieres next friday on netflix. Check this out. They were laughing and touching arms and worst of all youre going to need to sit down for this. I know youre sitting. Sit again. Monkey was wearing the date night outfit he wore on our first date. Oh. Are you sure the other guy was gay . Everybodys gay, kimmy, its the 90s. You have to talk to mikey and give him a chance to explain. I know what i saw. Titus, mikeys a good guy. Dont overreact. Im not overreacting. Im doing what any reasonable person would do in this situation. Im eliminating. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tina fey and i are playing the best friends challenge after the break. Stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] go, go [ rock music playing ] have fun with your replaced windows. Run away [ grunts ] leave him leave him [ music continues ] brick and mortar, what . [ music continues ] [ tires screech ] [ laughs ] [ doorbell rings ] when you bundle home and Auto Insurance with progressive, you get more than a big discount. Thats what you get for bundling home and auto jamie you get sneakygood coverage. Thanks. Were gonna live forever you get sneakygood coverage. Thanks. 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Which made the next twist so amazing. Did she expect to find a highend hair curler at a mindbendingly low price . Never. But thats the beauty of a store full of surprises. You never know what youre gonna find, but you know youre gonna love it. Marshalls. Your surprise is waiting. Hansome scrambled eggs andt i pancakes. For . Lilly we got a craving go, go, go crashing cravings in the crave van jacks gonna crash your crave jack hey, guys. Try my jumbo breakfast platter with sausage or bacon, plus 8 mini pancakes, eggs and a hash brown for just 2. 99. Handballer 2 2. 99 . How bout we play you for it. Handballers oooooooh. Jack vo you crave it, we serve it. Try my 2. 99 jumbo breakfast platter. Crave van [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. Were hanging out with tina fey [ cheers and applause ] now, tina, weve known each other for a long time. And so i want to try this game with you tonight, to test if we might be best friends. Would you like to play . Yes, please. [ laughter ] jimmy here we go. Time for the best friends challenge. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] best friends challenge oh yeah jimmy now, the game works like this i know, theres you and your real best friend is amy. [ cheers and applause ] we know. We love her. We know it, shes the best. This game works almost like the newlywed game but for friends. So were gonna take turns reading questions about each other from the best friends box and well try to write down the same answer. We didnt plan any of this out. I dont even know how were going to do on this. I dont even know how to read. So this is [ laughter ] jimmy all right here we go. I will read the first question, okay . Okay. Jimmy if jimmy, i, if i could have any other job in the world, what would it be . Do you know this about me . What you would choose . Jimmy yeah. Oh, thats interesting. Yeah, what i would choose. Okay. [ laughter ] jimmy all right. Youre still writing. Okay. Im still writing. Jimmy you dont have to draw your answer. [ laughter ] okay. Jimmy all right. Tina, what did you write . So i have two answers. So one is what i think maybe something you used to be interested in. I dont remember. And the other is what i think you should be. Jimmy okay, gotcha. So my first answer is i think you would have been like a Graphic Designer or something maybe. I cant remember what you studied, in that two weeks that you went to college. [ laughter ] and then what i thought you should be would be a a patch adams but just as an ambulance driver. [ laughter ] like an ambulance driver who tries to heal you with jokes. Jimmy who tries to heal you with jokes. [ cheers and applause ] yes. Jimmy i said i would be a a mailman. [ light laughter ] oh jimmy i think theyre great. Good choice. Jimmy anyways, yeah, thank you. Okay. Now you read this one here. So far were 0 for 1, best friend challenge. 0 for 1. If tina, thats me, was a a breakfast cereal, which one would she be . Jimmy if you were a cereal. Not, what is your favorite cereal . Yeah, if i were a cereal. Jimmy if you were a cereal. Im trying to guess by the sound of your marker. [ laughter ] its like a prescription. Jimmy i thought this one through. Because i was going to say well, if i say cocoa puffs, that means youre crazy. Youre not crazy. Right. [ light laughter ] jimmy cheerios, you are a a happy person. I wont say youre cheery. Right. Jimmy i dont see you coming over like, hi, everybody [ light laughter ] npreos, i could say that if that was a breakfast cereal. Npreos. [ laughter ] jimmy thats not a cereal. Wheaties, i was going to say because its classic and breakfast of champions. Mmhmm. Jimmy instead i went with frosted miniwheats. Thats a good choice [ laughter ] jimmy because you know why . I thought of this. One side gets the job done, pretty serious. Party in the front. [ laughter ] jimmy party in the front, then fun in the back. [ laughter and applause ] colon health in the back. Party in the front. Colon health in the back. Jimmy colon health in the back. No, like the back is sweet, its fun and sweet. Thank you. Thats a big compliment. Jimmy and mini like you are. Aw, thank you. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, youre tiny. Thanks. I sort of i think this should be counted as the same because i made up a joke cereal name. But i called em, corn blasters. [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] sweet and tasty, but also, were going to the toilet. [ laughter and applause ] were gonna get it done. Jimmy thats it. It does the same thing. That one counts. That counts. Jimmy judges . [ ding ] were still best friends. Were best friends jimmy were best friends you guys [ cheers and applause ] tina fey, everybody check out season three of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on netflix next friday. Alessandro nivola joins us after the break. Stick around. Also, great news, on nbc watch that as well [ cheers and applause ] xter ate my slippers, im going on a targetrun, you need anything . Toilet paper. Cereal. Maybe some chew toys. Got it get everyday low prices on everyday essentials, targetrun and done. Its not easy to brew a beer this easy to drink. Bud light is tasted by brewmasters every step of the process. Its a tough job, but for you and your friends, its worth it. We dont just brew beer. We brew beer for friends. Weli had to get myike sunscoffee, jane lynchion. Well what can we do to fix this . Wake up earlier . Awe, thats cute. No. Next time use masterpass. Add value. Order your coffee ahead. Speed past the line. Open the pool on time. Winning the morning. Priceless dont just buy it. Masterpass it. A 10speed directshift 5. 0transmission. Ine. A meticulously crafted interior. All of these are feats of engineering. Combining them with nearperfect weight distribution. Is a feat of amazing. Experience the firstever 471horsepower lexus lc 500 or the multistage hybrid lc 500h. Experience amazing. The toothpaste that helps new parodontax. Prevent bleeding gums. If you spit blood when you brush or floss you may have gum problems and could be on the journey to much worse. Help stop the journey of gum disease. Try new parodontax toothpaste. What if technology gave us the power to turn this enemy into an ally . Microsoft and its partners are using smart traps to capture mosquitoes and sequence their dna to fight disease. There are over 100 million pieces of dna in every sample. With the microsoft cloud, we can analyze the data faster than ever before. If we can detect new viruses before they spread, we may someday prevent outbreaks before they begin. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is a a tonynominated actor who you can see alongside Robert De Niro and Michelle Pfeiffer in new hbo movie the wizard of lies, which premieres may 20th at 8 00 p. M. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Alessandro Nivola. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy alessandro, do i call you alessandro, or do i call you some people call you sandro . Either one is good. But youre the first person who has pronounced that correctly in like 15 years. Jimmy is that right . Good, im so happy. Even my fatherinlaw called me alfonso for like the first three years i was married. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy alfonso. Lets talk about the wizard of lies. This is the Bernie Madoff story. Which i thought i knew a little bit about, but turns out i did not know anything about. You play one of the sons, mark. Have you done anything with de niro before . Is this your first time . I had i was in American Hustle with him but we didnt have any scenes together. Jimmy no. Did you we never met. Jimmy have to audition for this one . Did i have to audition . Well, it was kind of an audition. I got this call from my agent saying that there was interest in me to play de niros son in the madoff movie. And i couldnt believe it. And the guys like one of my alltime great heroes. Jimmy of course, its Robert De Niro. The problem was i was doing the elephant man with Bradley Cooper in london. And he was on a Family Vacation on a boat somewhere in europe. And so it was like a conundrum. How are we going to get together . Jimmy so youre on a boat with Robert De Niro . Well yeah, i get there, i get over to the boat. And its like, you know, its his family holiday. Hes got all his family there. His wife his sons, his daughters, theyre all there. Best friends and everything. And im this actor on an audition, there. Nobody knows who the hell i am or why the hell im there. Jimmy vacation with the family, sure. And im roaming around this boat like a lost soul. And i look up. I see up on the balcony, hes up there. And he like, hes like peering down at me like meet the fockers like meet the parents style, you know. [ laughter ] im like Gaylord Focker down there, you know. Jimmy how does it end . The next day, he invites me to do all these extreme sports activities. Jimmy yeah, but what did you do . Jet skiing and stuff . My sons and i, were going to go up and jump off the bow of the boat. You want to come . [ light laughter ] you know, and im like, i guess i got to jump off the i get up there, its like 50 feet, you know, down to sea level. Im about to throw up. And he blows by me, swan dive. Jimmy yeah, of course. [ laughter ] boom. Jimmy nothing. The water gets hurt. No splash. Jimmy the water gets hurt. No splash. Jimmy he lands, the water goes, oh. No splash. So perfect, yeah. Hes down there, hes treading water looking up at me. [ as de niro ] you coming in . Jimmy here we go. Coming in . Jimmy how bad you want it . How bad you want it . You got to do it. Jimmy and did you do it . And his kid jumps off. Hes like 8 years old. Cannonball. Im like holding my nose. I like hold my nose, hold my balls. [ laughter ] point my toes. A Little Pencil jump. [ laughter ] jimmy penciled it, man . You cant do that, man. You gotta cannonball. I did my best. You know . [ light laughter ] jimmy so anyways, happy you got the job. Such a great job. I want to show everyone a clip. Heres Alessandro Nivola in the wizard of lies. Take a look at this. Im leaving you another message. I know i keep leaving you messages, andrew. I cant even reach stephanie, i cant reach anybody. Im seriously going to lose it, i really am. Im like trapped in here. Guess what . Its me again. I dont know if youre away are you away with catherine . I mean, where are you guys . Have you gone fishing . Its like ever since shes been in your life i cant [ bleep ] reach you anymore i cant ever talk to you. Youre just like always [ bleep ] on some holiday okay. I just left you a 20minute message and i got cut off. Andy, marty, i dont even know who im leaving messages for. Im just leaving messages now. Aaah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i love it. Alessandro nivola, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] the wizard of lies premiers may 20th at 8 00 p. M. On hbo. Dirty projectors featuring dawn perform for us next. Stick around everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy guys, dirty projectors selftitled album was released to critical acclaim earlier this year. Performing cool your heart, give it up for dirty projectors featuring dawn, tyondai braxton, and the roots [ cheers and applause ] how do you feel is it loneliness is there shining in your heart but no gloss on your lips do you sail alone around the island with a silhouette of a shark beneath the skiff and then you say wanna be where you are youre the right one wanna be where you are cool your heart wanna be where you are youre the right one the right one the right one yeah yeah yeah youve been waiting for the light in me and theres been waters indeed weve been hanging tight for all the things we want out of love so wait go wade go deep only wanna be where you are youre the right one wanna be where you are i wanna be wanna be where you are yeah yeah oh oh wanna be where you are wanna be wanna be where you yeah yeah yeah yeah wanna be where you are youre the right one the right one the right one oh oh oh whoa whoa yeah though ive been trying hard not to fall the feeling is tumbling in last night i realized its been feeling wrong to start relying making decisions based on another person cool your heart cool your heart cool your heart cool your heart cool your heart cool your heart cool your heart if you feels us get on your feet yeah cool your heart wanna be where you are cool your heart youre the right one cool your heart wanna be where you are cool your heart cool your heart wanna be where you are youre the right one cool your heart yeah yeah wanna be where you are youre the right one cool your heart wanna be where you are cool your heart wanna be where you are youre the cool your heart the right one cool your heart cool your heart [ cheers and applause ] jimmy dirty projectors, dawn [ cheers and applause ] tyondai braxton, oh [ cheers and applause ] dirty projectors is available now, everybody [ cheers and applause ] my thanks to tina fey, Alessandro Nivola, dirty projectors, dawn, tyondai braxton, and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania [ cheers and applause ] yeah, quest, youre late. Quest, youre late. Youre late. Get ready. Youll never get over there in time. Stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight wanda sykes, comedian chris gethard, music from devin dawson, featuring the 8g band with josh dion. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gtlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] seth good evening, everyone. Im seth meyers. This is late night. Hows everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] so wonderful to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. House republicans today voted on and passed an obamacare replacement bill without knowing how much it could cost. Though im not surprised, they also voted on an obama