And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 664, montserrat, yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you. Jimmy oh please. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Enjoy yourselves. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to the tonight show, baby. [ cheers and applause ] thats what im talking about. Beautiful crowd tonight. Beautiful new york city crowd. Welcome, everybody. Well heres what people are talking about. Tomorrow is President Trumps 100th day in office. [ cheers ] and in the new interview, trump said that he thought being president would be easier than his old life. [ laughter ] people dont know whats more shocking, that he thought being president would be easy, or that he thought his old life was hard. [ laughter and applause ] i guess yelling, youre fired from your apartment is hard. In the same interview trump actually stopped to hand out electoral maps that show which states he won during the election. [ laughter ] then he said, i colored them myself. [ laughter and applause ] good for you, youre very talented. Keep walking. Trump also says he misses a lot of things he used to be able to do, like driving. Then he said, but i also miss putting and everything. Its amazing a week away from golf, i just miss every aspect. [ laughter and applause ] but this is true. Trump said he does, he misses driving. It turns out trump, i didnt know this, hes actually a a pretty big car guy. Steve really . Jimmy yeah, take a look at this video he just put out. This is donald trump and i absolutely love automobiles. Especially these fantastic automakers like chevrolet, bumwa, lamb in a bikini, meatball sushi, ashton kutcher, and my personal favorite i sue you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its interesting. Steve wow. Jimmy meatball sushi. Steve wow. I sue you. He does not know how to pronounce those names. Jimmy lamb in a bikini, yeah. He loves cars. Steve he loves them. Jimmy to mark his 100th day in office, trump also did an interview with fox news. Trump was so excited to be on fox news, it was like when a a kid goes to disney world and gets to meet all his favorite characters. [ laughter and applause ] oh, my god, sean hannity hi, sean hannity. Tucker carlson [ laughter ] thats right, tomorrow is trumps 100th day in office. So instead of giving you a full review of everything thats happened so far we decided to put together a little montage that focuses on the key words from trumps presidency so far. I hope you enjoy this. [ cheers and applause ] 100 days so lets review trump cant get his agenda through Health Care Bill absolutely no Immigration Reform remains in limbo border wall no funding at all trump willing to delay it until this fall so its early its positive he is following through on his Campaign Promises by nominating a Justice Neil Gorsuch you are fake news nothing to do with russia knock knock [ horn honks ] first 100 days [ cheers and applause ] jimmy strong handshake. Steve yank that arm. Pull it out of the socket. Jimmy lets get to some sports here. Last night was the start of the nfl draft. That was exciting. [ cheers and applause ] right . The Cleveland Browns had the first pick or as they put it, crap, thats tonight . Oh my goodness. [ laughter ] whos the biggest guy . And this is kind of interesting, i saw the Dallas Cowboys drafted a player named taco charlton. [ light laughter ] of course, taco isnt his given name. His given name is cheesy gordita crunch charlton. [ laughter and applause ] thats right. Theres a defensive end named taco charlton, marking the first time a taco will be stopping some runs. Steve oh hey [ laughter and applause ] [ rimshot ] [ cheers ] going to a bowl. Jimmy hey, i want to say happy birthday to Willie Nelson who turns 84 years old tomorrow. Willie, baby. [ cheers and applause ] and if you forgot about it, dont worry, because so did he. [ light laughter ] so, its all good. Speaking of marijuana [ laughter ] get this, i saw that disney world has added marijuana to its list of prohibited items. Then parents are like, you mean, we could have been high this whole time . [ laughter and applause ] just now we what . [ applause ] heres a local story. I saw that a brand new, stateoftheart public restroom just opened behind the new york public library. [ scattered applause ] it replaces that old public restroom, the new york public library. [ laughter and applause ] thats the new thing. And finally, after their big scandal a couple weeks ago, United Airlines says it will give passengers up to 10,000 if they agree to give up their seat. [ audience oohs ] which backfired when the pilots were like, sweet, see you guys later, 10,000 bucks, lets go. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show tonight, we do. Give it up for the roots, baby. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh [ cheers and applause ] did you hear that again . Tariq another soul clap. Jimmy im not. Tariq, im not making it up. Our crowds are the coolest crowds in the world. [ cheers and applause ] they did it again. They did it again. Jimmy they did it again, normally the roots play [ clapping along ] everybody is like yeah. Thats not what you guys were doing. You were going let me hear the beat again. Jimmy i mean, thats fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] the soul clap steve soul clap. Jimmy it is soul clap fridays here at the tonight show. Welcome back. [ cheers and applause ] weve got a great show tonight. We love this man. Hes hilarious. Martin tall, no. Martin short is on the show [ cheers and applause ] martin short. Steve one of the funniest humans on earth. Jimmy he might be the funniest human being on the face of the earth. Steve ever made. Jimmy plus she stars in the new Netflix Series girlboss. Britt robertson is dropping in as well. [ cheers and applause ] girlboss. Steve girlboss. Jimmy and our pal, she is the author of the great new cookbook called food swings, Jessica Seinfeld is stopping by [ cheers and applause ] steve heyoh heyoh jimmy were going to catch up with jessica and then were going to do a fun Food Experiment with some of her recipes. Steve ooh. Jimmy where i use my taste buds. [ light laughter ] to tell what what is what steve only your taste buds. Jimmy yes. Steve no other senses . Jimmy were going to remove some of my senses. [ laughter ] guys, as you know i interview celebrity guests on my show every day. Well theres someone who has been doing it a lot longer than i have and i have a lot of respect for him. His name is jiminy glick. [ light laughter ] and he is known for i know, some people think he looks like a heavier version of martin short. [ laughter ] steve yeah. Jimmy hes known for asking celebrities and politicians a a ton of hardhitting questions that most hosts are afraid to ask. Well i watched his most recent interview last night, and i gotta say it was pretty intense. So i thought id share it with you. Please enjoy jiminy glicks interview with the president of the united states, donald j. Trump. Please enjoy. [ cheers and applause ] hello im jiminy glick and im here with former reality star, bankrupt casino owner, and the 40 the 40 the 45th president of the united states. Difficult one to utter. Donald j. Trump. How are you, mr. President . Jimmy thank you jiminy. Im a big fan of your work. Tonights gonna be fantastic. Oh, im so excited to see you. Let me shake your hand. Look at these. This hand, its like five cocktail wieners attached to a a ham hawk of some form. I think and i dont want to use this inappropriately. But this is what we call circus stuff. You are such a handsome man. Jimmy thank you, jiminy. Thank you. You look like if dennis the menace made a bunch of bad life choices. But still [ laughter ] jimmy thank you. Now your first 100 days, would you say its a complete embarrassment or a total failure . [ laughter ] i know youre very concerned about leaks and so am i. Im actually been leaking for the last 20 minutes. [ laughter ] no really. Im wearing an adult diaper and i swear to you, right now, it weighs 75 pounds. [ laughter ] if you could deport one of your kids jimmy eric. Wow. Not an ounce of hesitation. Interesting indeed. If mike pence is against gay people, why does he walk around with a stick up his ass . [ laughter ] besides ben carson, can you name another africanamerican . Jimmy George Foreman grill. [ laughter ] let me understand your education. It was not extensive is it . Its a limited education. Do you not feel that even words that are simple should be said properly . Say china. Jimmy jina. China. Jimmy yina. Jina. Say Chitty Chitty bang bang. Jimmy jitty jitty bang bang. Say gynecologist. Jimmy jynecologist. Okay. Unbelievable. This is absolutely terrifying. Its now been 100 days since youve seen melania. Where is she . Where does she go . [ laughter ] shes in hiding. Jimmy if i ever see melania again ill ask her. Okay. This is like its like a a 4yearold walked in lost, and i took his hand and i said mama, is mama around, because this is not a normal if this is any indication i cant believe theres five children in the [ laughter ] now chris christie, do you still see him . Jimmy its hard not to see him. Because hes so fat. If anyone should make fun of heavyset people it should be you. Jimmy thank you. Youve met Vladimir Putin. What does he taste like . Jimmy Vladimir Putin is a a great guy. Hes a fantastic guy. Really, really personal, charming, and ive never met him. But you have, again, a a vocabulary of six or seven words. Jimmy thank you. Do you ever want to add another one like the. Jimmy duh. Say the, the its really something. Jimmy duh. My god youre a handsome man. Not many people can pull off a a moat that look likes a cats butthole as it walks away from you. Why do you squint so much . Is it because you dont see what youre doing to the country . I want to ask this, you had this wonderful dinner at the white house with sarah palin and kid rock. Jimmy thats right. And how did you get them over . Did you phone them up or did you just burn a whole bunch of tires and let the smoke signal them . Jimmy dont you love kid rock . I love kid i love kid rock. Jimmy isnt he fantastic . And ted nugent. Jimmy ted had some very great ideas. Have you ever seen or heard of ted talks . Thats ted nugent . Jimmy that is. What do you jimmy i could be wrong. I could be wrong. Its time to eat. Would you like to have something . [ laughter ] [ choking sound ] jimmy are you choking . Are you choking . You are choking. [ choking sound ] whats what are you doing . Sometimes when im choking more food helps. [ laughter ] you know what . Im gonna speaking of north korea. Jimmy kim jongun is a very dangerous man. He look likes a bouncer in a a lesbian bar doesnt he . [ laughter ] well so much fun. Mr. President , lets do this again. I want to talk to you in 100 days from now. After the impeachment. [ laughter and applause ] this has been jiminy glick. And im so honored to be sitting with the commander in chief of our wonderful nation. Donald j. Trump. What does the j. Stand for . Jimmy genius. [ laughter and applause ] very good. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to jiminy glick for a in depth interview with the president. Stick around, well be right back with martin short [ cheers and applause ] ima wade, ima wave through the waters tell the tide, dont move Freedom Freedom i cant move freedom, cut me loose Freedom Freedom where are you . Cause i need freedom too Freedom FreedomFreedom Freedom what you want from me . Is it truth you seek . Oh father can you hear meee. Ooow . Is thno, its, uh, breyers gelato indulgences. You really wouldnt like it. Its got caramel and crunchy stuff. I like caramel and crunchy stuff. Breyers gelato indulgences. Its way beyond ice cream. We are not here to observe, to sit idly by, or watch from the stands. We are here. For one reason. To leave. A mark. Lexus high performance. With 5. 0liter v8s and sport directshift transmissions. Experience a shift in the natural order. Experience amazing. Welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. You stand out in a crowd. And are pulled together. You follow your own lead and show your strength. Always comfortable in your own skin. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx [ cheers and applause ] jimmy jiminy glick. You guys, i love you guys. Thank you so much. Steve oh, my god. Jimmy welcome back, everybody. Guys, today is friday and thats usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. You know i check my inbox, i return some emails and, of course, i send out thank you notes. And i was just wondering [ cheers and applause ] i was running a bit behind today, so i thought if you guys wouldnt mind, id just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. Is that cool with you guys . [ cheers and applause ] you guys are the greatest. James james, can i get some thank you note writing music please . [ laughter ] steve wow. Jimmy oh, hes in a hes in a good mood this week. Steve today, yeah. [ light laughter ] tgi friday, man. Jimmy good lord. [ light laughter ] looks like hes wearing kwames pocket square. [ laughter ] steve oh heyoh deep cut jimmy thank you, treasury secretary steve mnuchin, for letting me know what would happen if ross geller hooked up with mclovin. There you go. [ laughter and applause ] thank you, starbucks new dragon frappuccino, for looking like what came out of me after i tried the unicorn frappuccino. Steve ho [ laughter and applause ] jimmy why . Steve why . Jimmy why do we keep trying new things . Steve no. Jimmy thank you, people wearing trench coats, for basically saying, im expecting some rain and possibly a mystery. [ applause ] thank you, astronaut peggy whitson, for speaking to President Trump via satellite this week. When asked how much longer shed stay in space, she said ill probably hang out until 2020 or 2024, depending on what happens. [ cheers and applause ] why did she say that . Steve i know, thats a long time. Thats a long time in space. Jimmy thank you, counting sheep as a cure for insomnia, for letting shepherds know we find their job very boring. [ laughter and applause ] thats rude. Steve rude. Jimmy that is steve rude. Jimmy that is rude. How dare you. Fred. Fred . How dare you. [ slapping ] [ laughter ] good day to you, sir. [ slapping ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] everybody was kung fu [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, umbrellas, for keeping about 15 of my body fairley dry. [ laughter ] not worth not worth it. Steve no. Jimmy thank you, the potential writers strike, for sorry, theres nothing here. Please dont strike, please. Please dont strike. [ applause ] please dont strike. [ applause ] thank you, wildlife refuge in kenya, for setting up a tinder account for your endangered rhino. He must be pretty horny. Steve ho hey [ laughter and applause ] jimmy those were my thank you notes. Well be right back with martin short [ cheers and applause ] and let roomba help with your everyday messes. A full suite of sensors automatically guides roomba throughout your home. Cleaning under furniture, along edges, and in corners. And roombas patented 3stage cleaning system agitates, brushes and suctions dirt from your floors for up to 2 hours, recharging itself when it needs to. Which means your floors are always clean. You and roomba, from irobot. Better. Together. Hey, leggo my eggo. I dont see your name on it. Really . Ba bam know the rules. Keep your eggo. Leggo my eggo. Okay. State farm knows that for every one of those moments. What . Theres one of these. Sam, i gotta go. Is this my car . This is ridiculous this is ridiculous from car insurance. To car loans. State farm is here to help life go right. So ammara, youre a verizon engineer, tell me, whats one really good reason why the Samsung Galaxy s8 is better on verizon . Well we have the largest 4g lte network in america. Yeah thats a pretty good reason. And the most reliable. Uhhuh. And, with unlimited, you get full hd video. Oh wow, yeah, thats, uh, two, maybe even three reasons right there. Its exactly three. Okay. Sure, whatever you say. vo if you really, really want the best, switch to verizon unlimited and get the galaxy s8 for just 15 a month. I saw you take those phones, you know. No, you didnt. Kohls lowest prices of the season. Prices so low, no coupons needed. Get 5 jumping beans tops and bottoms kitchen electrics are only 4. 99 after rebate and the big one bath towel is just 2. 99. Plus, get kohls cash. Wednesday through sunday at kohls. You might not ever just stand there, looking at it. You may never even sit in the back seat. Yeah, but maybe you should. laughter well its a perfect nespresso hold on a second. Orge. Mmm. [mel torme sings comin home baby] hey there. Want a lift . Where are we going . No dont tell me. Let me guess. Have a nice ride. How far would you go for coffee thats a cup above . I brought you nespresso. Nespresso. What else . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness. Our first guest is a very funny, very talented man. Hes currently on a 40city comedy tour, with the also very funny and very talented, steve martin. Upcoming dates are sunday may 21st at the ohio theater in columbus, ohio. Friday july 21st, starlight theatre, kansas city, missouri. Friday august 11th Concord Pavilion at concord, california. Theres one in rochester hills, michigan im booking the whole tour. Steve are you really . Jimmy please welcome our good friend, the always entertaining martin short, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for having me. [ cheers ] jimmy martin short oh, my goodness. Thank you thank you so much. Jimmy oh, my goodness. There he is. Martin short, everybody. Im embarrassed that we almost went we almost thought it was over. I almost thought it was over. [ talking over each other ] jimmy welcome, welcome to the show martin short. Thank you so much. You know i cant stay long. [ light laughter ] i cant. Jimmy you just got no, no, i know i did. But i i left my uber driver waiting. Jimmy oh. [ laughter ] and you know how testy bill oreilly can get, you know. [ laughter ] jimmy [ inaudible ] martin now. Now marty. [ cheers and applause ] put that down. Poor bill. You know, his problem was, he thought harass was two words. [ laughter and applause ] steve heyoh oh thank you so much. Jimmy oh, my gosh. Good to be here. [ light laughter ] jimmy we love having you. You are hilarious tonight. Jimmy we love having you thank you. I love your monologue. Oh, my god. How brave are you. [ laughter ] no really, to do an entire monologue and not worry about any reaction from the audience. Its a its an intriguing new approach to show business, i think. Jimmy but the audience loves you. We love you. I mean, i love you. They go nuts when you come. Oh, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you look you look fantastic. Oh, thank you. Well you look sensational. [ cheers ] no, really. Ive never noticed this before but you in person, you look like a slightly older version of kim jongun. [ laughter ] jimmy yes. Just just a little more moody. Thats all. [ laughter ] no really, i mean you got you got donald jr. s face and ivankas figure, i mean, it works on you. Jimmy oh, thank you so much. [ laughter ] i appreciate it cause i know you watch the show. Kylie jenner lip plump is working. [ light laughter ] jimmy yes, it is, a little bit. Thanks, i appreciate that. Yeah, no, really, your whole vibe is very you know, honey boo boos mom after the weight loss. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] steve higgins. I love you steve. Jimmy you love steve higgins. Oh, my god. He looks to me like the worlds most jovial undertaker. Steve oh. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy so nice and thoughtful. Steve oh, my gosh, how sweet can you [ talking over each other ] oh, my gosh. Well, anyway im im thrilled to be here. Jimmy i i wish you could be here more, but i know you live in l. A. But we would have you on every single night. Oh, please. No i listen, this show to me its like a united flight with games. Jimmy thank you. [ laughter ] thank you again. I appreciate all of this. Oh, i was i was on that flight. Jimmy were you really . Yes, i was. I was so furious. Jimmy yeah. cause they dragged that guy right through first class and it knocked my arm. My champagne went everywhere. [ laughter ] i mean that is unacceptable. [ laughter ] you cant you cant drag a a guest. Jimmy no. That is not true. Although southwest calls it an upgrade. [ laughter ] actually thats what they do with trump, each morning, they just drag him like that into the white house. Jimmy into the white house. Thats how gets there he doesnt want to leave maralago. I well, yeah. [ light laughter ] jimmy i love i love reading your book, and i did not i must say, its called i must say my life as a a humble comedy legend. Yes. Jimmy and its a great book, its a great read. But i did not know, its also an audio book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy i didnt know i cant hear higgins with the audio book, because its fantastic i would love to hear your voice as well. I dont read it. Sharon glass from cagney and lacey reads it. But [ laughter ] in retrospect, i probably should have read it. Jimmy you probably should have. I mean, you have a great delivery. No, but you i want you to tell the story about how you you thought of maybe a a different career, one not in show business. Yeah. I was not going to be i was going to be a doctor. Jimmy thats right. And i went it was in two years in premeds, until it suddenly hit me that i didnt care about science, you know. [ laughter ] i just liked the way the scrubs fit around the crotch, you know. But [ laughter ] you know, that that can be enough. But i i never i used to i was so far behind in my anatomy class, cause i was always doing plays. You know, whats a nice like you and other students were actually going to class. So i i was behind in my anatomy class and it was all tied to dissecting a cat and knowing every, you know, organ and every tendon, so i went and stole a cat. Jimmy this is real . Yeah, this is true. Stole a cat out of the freezer, of Mcmaster University in the middle of the night, took it home, cause i had to dissect it all night, cause the exam was the next day. And my poor cat my real cat was 17, tiger [ audience ohs ] and she came into the room and, you know, this is the worlds fattest cat, she was the worms in her stool had type two diabetes. [ laughter ] jimmy that is that is she smelled the formaldehyde and ran. But i i used to do i was two years. I would do rounds with the doctors, you know. Jimmy you really would. You would get around in theater and oh, it was terrifying, yeah. I mean, i remember one time, it stayed with me all my life, this great doctor, doctor gosai, and this really happened, i was like, you know, 21 or something, and he there theres this young man had been he was like 25 and he had been in a car accident and shattered his jaw. And they had to wire his jaw closed and and he was saying he said, its going to be wired. Doctor gosai said its going to be wired for six weeks. Hes like, how will i live . How will i eat . And he said the doctor said, im going to use simplistic terms because i dont want to lose you, but [ laughter ] he said, youll have to be fed through the back door, he said. He said, fed through the back door . Its the only way you can eat. You have very small veins. So, they couldnt do it that way. So they he said well, i am kind of hungry. I missed lunch. Whats for dinner . And they said, roast beef, a a baked potato, broccoli and hot chocolate. He said, well, might as well do it. So we flipped him over, and they put a funnel type thing in his in his back door. Its true. All true. And the doctor said, what do you want to start with . And he said, ill have the hot chocolate. And they poured the hot chocolate in the funnel and the guy went, ah [ laughter ] and they and the doctor said, too hot . He said, too sweet. [ laughter ] jimmy thats a true story. All true. Jimmy its a true story. Martin short is on tour with steve martin in the evening youll forget for the rest of your life. Go see him. Hes amazing. Martin short, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with Britt Robertson. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] with my moderate to severe crohns disease,. I was always searching for ways to manage my symptoms. I thought i had it covered. Then i realized managing was all i was doing. When i finally told my doctor, he said humira was for people like me who have tried other medications,. But still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohns disease. In clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief. And many achieved remission. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections. Including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers,. Including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions,. And new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb,. Hepatitis b, are prone to infections,. Or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. If youre still just managing your symptoms, ask your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, remission is possible. Attention. We and by we, we mean us, the entertainmentloving people of america, have updated our terms and conditions. One. From now on, the word television will no longer be defined as that thing over there on the wall. We want all our things to be television things. Phones. Ipads. Refrigerators. Heart monitors. Ok, maybe not heart monitors. Two. Our shows and movies. We want them when we want them. So they should go with us. Anywhere . You got that right, kid show thing. Three. Nothing beats live. So we want to stream all that sweet live stuff. Like football. Red carpets. And yelling. Wait what are we yelling about, guys . Four. We dont just want unlimited data. We want unlimited entertainment. Like unlimited hbo. Can i stop dying now mark . Cmon man. Its unlimited. Last thing. We just want all our stuff. The way we want all our stuff. Thats not too much to ask is it . Only at t brings you entertainment on your terms. Directv, wireless, internet. Its entertainment your way. Sure shutup i can do that do i have to . I dont want there to be white marks. Good bye beautiful dress i never got to wear. Nothing no dust, theres no marks. Its really dry what is this . Oh my god, its dove i knew it its a 48 hour antiperspirant. No white marks. On a 100 colors. I would absolutely use this. I think you converted me yes, the fuel is complimentary for up to three years. Yes, it has an epaestimated range of 312 miles. Yes, you will probably have to answer lots of silly questions from strangers. Yes, this is a mindblowing marvel of technology. And, yes, you can buy it today because the future doesnt start next week, next month or next year. The future starts now. In the hydrogenfueled toyota mirai. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hello, and welcome back everybody. You know our next guest from films like tomorrowland and nicolas sparks the longest ride. She currently stars in the brands new series, girlboss which is streaming on netflix now. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome Britt Robertson. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back. Welcome back to the show. I have never been here before. Jimmy youve never been here. No. Jimmy i meant welcome back to the audience, but you oh. Jimmy i was actually i was talking to marty. Jimmy i want to talk about girlboss. Okay. Jimmy this is a big deal on netflix. Im very intrigued about this whole story because you play its loosely based on a true story . Very true. Jimmy yeah. The loosely based, or the true part . Loosely based. Both. We sort of go back and forth between like a fictional version of sophia, and then like true events that actually happened to her, and then kay cannon, our creator jimmy kay cannon, who i know from who is the best. Jimmy marty, you must know from 30 rock. Marty yes, shes brilliant. Jimmy and she also wrote pitch perfect. Yeah, both of them i think. Right . Yeah. Jimmy this girl that you play is sophia amoruso. She started this thing just started selling vintage clothing on ebay. Ebay. Jimmy and making like, a a threethousand percent profit. Yeah. Jimmy Something Like that. Pretty crazy. Jimmy is that right . Yeah, no, its right. Youre good. Jimmy yeah, youre good. Thats what youre acting like. No, no, no, youre so dumb. Youre so stupid. [ laughter ] jimmy but then she ends up doing making a website called nasty gal or something. Nasty gal. Its based on a bette davis song that she liked and then she named her like ebay account nasty gal vintage, and then later her store and like her whole like, you know, clothing thing is nasty gal. Jimmy forbes said that it was worth like 300 million dollars. At one point she like made more money than beyonce i think. Someone told me that. I dont know that thats real, but someone told me that. [ laughter ] jimmy no, i believe that. Kind of cool. Jimmy it think it is, yeah. I mean, of course its real. Of course she makes more money than beyonce. Jimmy shes girlboss. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy but then she wrote a a book called girlboss. Thats right, and thats the new brand girlboss. Jimmy girlboss is the new brand. Girlboss is in. Nasty gal is out. Jimmy wow. I just said that. I dont know that thats true. Somebodys probably going to jimmy well, who wouldnt believe you . Yeah, yeah. Jimmy youre here. We have to believe you, but im very interested about this because ive only seen the first episode. Okay. Jimmy which i love, and i know one of the writers jake fogelnest. Yeah, hes awesome. Jimmy hes a great guy, really funny guy. I know him from snl, and also hes on xm, hes on sirius xm. Really . Jimmy oh, hes a fantastic radio oh, no way. I mean, hes very funny and he has like a very quirky sense of humor which i like. Jimmy great musical taste too, ask him about music. But, also Charlize Theron is the producer, yeah. Jimmy come on. I know, i know. Jimmy marty. Marty, stop it. Marty. Sit back down over there. [ inaudible ] jimmy marty. Marty what what jimmy no interruptions tonight. Marty no scrubs tonight. Jimmy she charlize, she must be super fun to work with. Shes super fun. Jimmy does she take care of you. She does yeah, she really takes care of me. At one point, like early on in the process, she like gave me her number, and her email and she was like reach out. But i feel like when people do that, and especially if i have no reason to contact her then, you know, i shouldnt be calling her. That was just like a courtesy, right. You know like, im your boss. If you need anything hit me up. And at one point i tore my groin like running the golden gate bridge, and i didnt call her, and then she was like, i gave you my number, and i gave you the email so that you would call me when these things happen and then she had to like fly into san francisco. She was very upset. [ laughter ] jimmy wow. Marty, all you have to do to get her attention is tear your groin. Tear your groin. [ laughter ] jimmy hes into it. Hes into it. He look at him. Hes thinking about it. Marty wow it just dawned on me. Thats perfect for you. There you go. Jimmy i want to show everybody the clip, is there anything you want anyone else to know about this . Heres what i like about this girlboss because you guys had the idea, had the book, and then kate cannon, one of the hottest comedy writers out there you pitch at other networks, the networks were like, too edgy for us. Can we make it a boy boss. I think that was the main note. That theyd love it to be like a boy boss. Jimmy they did. Right . Yeah, yeah, but it sort of defeats like the whole purpose of the story. Jimmy no, girlboss. How could they the story what are they talking and i wouldnt have a job right now so that would have been very jimmy hello. I mean. Oh, my god. But i thought it was cool and its like. She really fought for it she fought for the idea and jimmy its and edgy its a different character especially to be one of the main leads, and i think youre doing a great job. Thanks. Jimmy we have a clip, heres Britt Robertson in girlboss. Check this out. I want this. Ill give you 8 bucks for it. No way, the tag says 12. Well, i only have 8. I think youre lying. Why. You have shifty eyes. Thank you. Ill let you have it for 10. 9 bucks, and ill give you some free business advice. Deal. So. Whats the advice . This is an original 1 1970s east west cat skin motorcycle jacket in perfect condition. Know what your [ bleep ] worth, cause you just got played. Bam son. Jimmy oh [ cheers and applause ] Britt Robertson, girlboss. Its streaming on netflix now. Well be right back with Jessica Seinfeld, everybody. Come on back. Congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] tired of paying hundreds more a year in taxes and fees on your wireless bill . Only tmobile one gives you unlimited data with taxes and fees included. Thatll save you hundreds. Get two lines of unlimited data for a hundred dollars. Thats right. Two lines. A hundred bucks. All in. And now, the brand new Samsung Galaxy s8 is here. So what are you waiting for . Get the new galaxy s8. Plus get 2 lines of unlimted data for a hundred bucks. Taxes and fees included. Only at tmobile. Hey, leggo my eggo. I dont see your name on it. Really . Ba bam know the rules. Keep your eggo. Leggo my eggo. Okay. We are not here to observe, to sit idly by, or watch from the stands. We are here. For one reason. To leave. A mark. Lexus high performance. With 5. 0liter v8s and sport directshift transmissions. Experience a shift in the natural order. Experience amazing. At planters, we put fresh roawhich has its drawbacks. An, guys, know anything about this missing inventory . Wasnt me the cheeks dont lie, chet. Irresistibly planters. Heare you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool . Try zyrtec® its starts working hard at hour one and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. Stick with zyrtec® and muddle no more®. New degree ultraclearnt saving black white. Othes. No yellow stains on white clothes. No white marks on black clothes. New degree ultraclear black white. It wont let you down. [laughs] you have a side that is retired playing tag and gettin tired. You have a side that saves for their tuition. But right now it looks like bedtime is the mission. A side that owns your own store. Looks like you need to expand some more. Thats why theres nationwide. They help protect and grow your many sides. Nationwide is on your side. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is the founder and president of the amazing good plus foundation, as well as a threetime bestselling cookbook author. Her latest book food swings, is in stores now. Ladies and gentlemen, Jessica Seinfeld [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you so much. Thank you for being here. Congrats on the new cookbook now, food swings not mood swings, food swings. Tell me what its all about. I wanted to create a bible for people to shut down that ongoing battle in their brains about what they want to eat versus what they should eat. Jimmy oh, trust me. Yeah. Its endless for so many people. Jimmy i know, i know. This, with two chapters, virtue and vice, you can live between the two covers. Jimmy and you actually are using this. You said you do this. You do four times a week, virtue. Three times a week i try but then some weeks ill do six nights a week vice, and one night virtue. So you need vice to have virtue, and you need to have virtue for vice. So i feel like just instead of a Clean Eating Program which i could never do. Jimmy no, i have tried. I do it for a week and im really grumpy. Thats the end of it. No im a hateful person. Jimmy i would rather just gain weight. And i know that theres a a huge chocolate cake at the end of the week. So when you know you can play between the two sides, its just a little bit more relaxing on the brain. Jimmy just from the cover itself, which i love, i love the doughnut and broccoli, and i went and i made broccoli doughnuts. [ light laughter ] oh. Yum. Jimmy i just thought you want to give it a try . That looks great. Jimmy yeah. Just try this, yeah. Sure. What do you think . What do you think . Is it bad . [ laughter ] is it bad . Oh, my god. Is it awful. No, its so good. [ laughter ] its amazing. Jimmy it smells like broccoli. But did we make it sweet or something. Its really unique and good. [ laughter ] yeah. It is. Jimmy i dont know why i made you do that. All right. I dont know why i made you do that. That was really bad. It tastes like broccoli. Okay, you would think it would be sweet like a doughnut. Am i all green . Jimmy oh no. You look great. All right. Lets skip over that and get to some real recipes. Sorry about that. I want to try some of your recipes but i want to try an experiment here. Ive heard that your sense of taste becomes heightened once you take away all other senses. So were going to test it right now. Higgins, do you want to help me out with this. Higgins here is going to take away all of my senses so i can really taste each one of your dishes as closely as possible, and try to guess exactly what is in them. All right. Here we go. Lets do this. All right. Steve napkins, there you go. Jimmy thank you very much. Steve eyes, sense of sight gone. Sense of hearing. Gone. [ light laughter ] jimmy okay. Okay. Okay. Steve smell. Jimmy ow. Alright, that hurt. Alright, im ready. Are we starting . [ light laughter ] sorry about that. Steve were going to start. Jimmy i cant hear anything. Describe it. Jimmy im just guessing what the food is. Why do i need headphones on . All right. [ laughter ] steve so you cant hear the food. Eat the food, im gonna put it in your mouth. Jimmy okay. Steve i lost the war on vice. This is avocado with strawberry and lemon and salt and pepper. Jimmy i dont like this game. I dont know whats going on. What am i doing again . Steve im going to put food in your mouth. Jimmy what was that . Like a Grilled Cheese or something . Steve no. Jimmy it was like toast or something. Steve yes. Yes. Thats perfect. Jimmy and was there something on the toast. Steve yes. Yeah. Steve well, take a look at it. Jimmy oh gosh, this is the weirdest game. Steve avocado. Jimmy wait, its strawberries . Steve yes. Yes. Jimmy how would i guess that . Steve its okay. Alright, ready for the next one. Okay. Steve blindfold. Jimmy here we go. [ laughter ] steve all right. Okay. This is going to be two different things. Jimmy strawberries and avocado. Steve wrong. This is sweet and spicy pork ribs with jalapeno cornbread. Steve okay, ready for the second one. [ laughter ] come on. Put it in your mouth. Jimmy this feels like steve come on jimmy its a plate. Steve come on. Jimmy feels like fifty shades of grey. I do not like this at all. What is this . Steve just taste it. Jimmy im not doing this. Im not doing this. Steve just try it. Jimmy i know. Steve its a rib. You love ribs. Jimmy i dont want you to feeding it to me now. The games not fun if im staring at you. Steve no, heres the deal. Jimmy its too verbal. Its too loud. I dont understand what this part is. Steve thats the sense of hearing. Jimmy that felt weird. I feel like were making jessica uncomfortable. Steve were making america uncomfortable. I was fine until fifty shades of grey. [ laughter ] jimmy here, you try it. [ cheers and applause ] you try it. All right. Ready. Im going to plug your yeah hold on. Steve youre going to do what . Jimmy im going to plug your nose. You can hear me. Steve i cant hear you. I cant hear you. Jimmy the headphones arent on. Steve i cant hear anything youre saying. Jimmy open wide. Open wide. Here you go. How does it taste, man . [ laughter ] there you go, right there. That was my broccoli doughnut. [ applause ] give it up for Jessica Seinfeld. Food swings is available now. Stick around. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] lets go, shes a dog. [ whimpers ] find pingpong. Find your awesome with the xfinity x1 voice remote. Thats amazing [ cheers and applause ] jimmy fantastic. This is a Vegan Ice Cream . Yeah. Jimmy what is in this . Just peanut butter, bananas, cinnamon and nutmeg. Jimmy oh my gosh, fantastic. Guys theres all sorts of cool recipes in this. Food swings is out right now. Martin short, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] Britt Robertson. Jessica seinfeld, ladies and gentlemen [ cheers and applause ] steve higgins. And the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] im not feeding you. Stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great weekend. Hope to see you next week. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight jake gyllenhaal, comedian whitney cummings, music from post malone, featuring quavo and metro boomin, featuring the 8g band with charlie benante. Ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] seth good evening, im seth meyers, this is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. The house did not vote on the republicans obamacare replacement bill today as expected. I guess they wanted to keep obamacare until they can get this suspicious mole checked out. [ laughter ]