Comedian brian regan, and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 648, yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey that is a hot crowd. That is a hot new york city crowd welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to welcome to the tonight show, baby. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] the tonight show. We got a good one tonight. Heres what people are talking about on the streets there. Its been a rough few days for President Trump. And this week it came out that his job Approval Rating is at just 36 . [ audience oohs ] trump was confused, he said, how can you disapprove of a a job im not even doing . [ laughter and applause ] fake poll. Trumps Approval Rating is at just 36 , which is even lower than obamas ever was. The only time obama came close to that was when he had that meeting with trump. [ laughter and applause ] came close. Steve wow. Jimmy actually, trumps Approval Rating is worst than obamas lowest, and worse than bill clintons lowest. After hearing this, trump promised to hunt down bin laden and sleep with an intern. Steve really . [ laughter and applause ] jimmy to see if that works out. Steve wow. [ cheers ] jimmy just see if that works out. Steve yeah, see what happens. Jimmy but trump is now polling lower than a lot of things. For example, hes less popular than sitting on a warm subway seat. Steve wow. [ light laughter ] jimmy thats disgusting. Thats the worst. Steve thats not popular. Jimmy yeah. Hes less popular than vague text s that say, do you have time to talk later, its important. [ light laughter ] god. Steve oh. Jimmy thats not good. Steve thats not popular, at all. Jimmy hes unpopular. Hes less popular than biting into a cookie and realizing that the chocolate chip is a a raisin. Steve oh [ audience ohs ] jimmy thats the absolute thats the worst. Steve thats unpopular. Jimmy hes polling less than that, yeah. Steve really . Jimmy hes less popular than youtube ads that you cant skip after five seconds. Steve what . [ light laughter ] jimmy dont make me watch the whole thing [ cheers ] steve thats the unpopular dance. Jimmy hes less popular than wet doorknobs. You know what im saying . Steve oh hey [ light laughter ] thats unpopular. Jimmy finally, trump is even polling lower than people who pronounce chipotle as chipolte. Steve yeah [ light laughter ] jimmy thats what im saying. I couldnt even pronounce it. Steve no. Thats not popular. Jimmy im still angry about that raisin. [ light laughter ] steve have a cookie. Jimmy its an oat moat ma goat right there. Thats not a chockie chip. Steve thats health food. Jimmy thats an oat ma goat. Not a chockie chip. Steve yeah. You want a chocko chippo. Jimmy everythings got little pet names now. [ light laughter ] meanwhile, i saw that trump went on a twitter rant about the failure of the Republican Health care bill last night. Then blaming a bunch of people for the situation, that might explain this new commercial i saw. From the creators of life and yahtzee, comes a new board game specially designed for President Trump. The blame game. Just roll the dice to see who you should blame for your latest president ial failure. Paul ryan, nancy pelosi, the freedom caucus, whoops, you landed on yourself. [ laughter and applause ] that cant be true, go back five spaces to don jr. If things get too hard, just move your piece over to maralago and collect 2 million of taxpayer money. The blame game. For president s ages 70 and up. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that looks fun. For president s 70 and over. Well, hey, this isnt good. It just came out, that trumps soninlaw, jared kushner, had an undisclosed meeting with a a russian bank, that was under sanctions by obama. [ audience oohs ] when he heard his soninlaw was having meetings with shady russians, trump said, you could start calling me dad. [ laughter and applause ] sean spicer was asked about trumps involvement with russia again at his press briefing today. Sean spicer, man. [ light laughter ] listen to how he responded to this here. Ive said it from the day that i got here until whatever, that there is no connection. Youve got russia. If the president puts russian salad dressing on his salad tonight, somehow thats a a russian connection. [ laughter ] steve come on. Jimmy trump said, thats ridiculous. I would never eat a salad. Never. [ laughter and applause ] its actually funny that spicer mentions food though, because at yesterdays press briefing people noticed he had food in his teeth. [ audience ohs ] spicer had so much food in his mouth, he barely had room for his foot. Steve really . [ laughter and applause ] jimmy we have a great show tonight give it up for the roots, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have a fun show tonight, we love this guy the star of the new netflix film the discovery, jason segel is here tonight steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy talented guy. Steve lovely man. Jimmy plus, she is a a youtube superstar who just wrote her first book, how to be a bawse. [ cheers ] lilly singh is the raddest. And also, we have standup from one of my favorite comedians, ever, oh, my goodness, we love him, brian regan is here tonight. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hes gonna do standup. If youve never seen brian reagan, its a treat, tonight. But also, were going to talk and he has a very special announcement. [ audience oohs ] and hes gonna tell us, officially. Yeah, itll be cool. Guys, as everyone knows, President Trump is in the news all the time. But theres so much focus on him, that it makes it a little hard to get to know his cabinet. So to help you guys out, we wanted to show you some pictures of members of his administration. But we thought it would be a a little more fun if we can kids draw them. [ light laughter ] its time for tonight show kid art, here we go. [ cheers and applause ] kid art kid art kids jimmy lets take a look at our first one. We have secretary of agriculture, sonny perdue. And heres a drawing of sonny perdue sent in by winnie rose fallon, my 3yearold. [ audience aws ] look at [ laughter and applause ] thats pretty good. Steve yeah. Jimmy she did her homework. Steve looks like a who. Jimmy she did her homework, yeah. Steve yeah. Jimmy thats three years old. Thats pretty impressive. Steve thats a better picture. Jimmy thats a big help. Thank you, winnie. [ audience aws ] next is secretary of education, betsy devos. Heres a drawing of betsy. That was sent in by christie whos six. [ laughter and applause ] got the claw in there and everything, yeah. I also like how she spelled it betse. Steve yeah, betse. Jimmy the only other person who spells it like that is betsy devos. [ light laughter ] jimmy next is the secretary of commerce, wilbur ross. Hes got a friendly face. [ audience aws ] heres a drawing of wilbur ross, that was sent in by noah. [ laughter and applause ] thats fantastic. Steve yeah. Jimmy kind of looks like a a cartoon. Steve yeah. Jimmy great job, noah. Next up is secretary of housing and urban development, ben carson. Heres a drawing of ben carson that was sent in by rosa, who is six. [ laughter and applause ] it looks like his feet steve yeah. Jimmy it looks like steve it looks like he fell asleep and fell over. Jimmy thats how he thats how ben carson sleeps. Steve thats how he has his meetings. [ light laughter ] were gonna talk about housing. Jimmy he sleeps like a dead bug, yeah. Next up is one of president s senior advisers, stephen miller. Now he looks like a happy guy, doesnt he . Steve he looks super happy. Jimmy heres a drawing of stephen that was sent in by billy, who is five. [ light laughter ] i dont understand. Steve looks like a muppet. Jimmy he has blue hair. Does he have, like, a neck beard . Steve yeah. [ light laughter ] jimmy pretty good, man. I like it. Steve captured his soul. Jimmy next up is secretary of state rex tillerson. [ audience ohs ] heres a drawing of rex sent in by addison. Lets see if she captured his concerned look. Not bad. [ applause ] steve not bad. Jimmy next up is Vice President mike pence. Heres a drawing of him sent in by molly, who is nine. [ laughter and applause ] steve what are those things . Are those drones . Jimmy he looks so cute, yeah. You know who he looks like . Whos that artist, bill is it Bill Plympton . Questlove yeah, Bill Plympton. Steve no, he was an author. Jimmy yeah, i think it might be Bill Plympton. Questlove yeah, he used to do work with frank zappa. Jimmy yeah, hed do stuff, yeah. Steve raplh steadman. Jimmy bill, what . Questlove Bill Plympton. [ light laughter ] steve youre thinking of ralph stedman. Questlove no, Bill Plympton. Steve Bill Plympton was a a writer. Bill plympton was a writer, Ralph Steadman drew all the jimmy i think it might, let me check, does this thing work . [ light laughter ] we have it on the desk every night, never used it. I think hes right, im going to say its Bill Plympton. [ light laughter ] steve im going to see, because you might be cheating. Jimmy Bill Plympton. Yeah, its Bill Plympton. Questlove i used to have nightmares about Bill Plympton, when i was like, three. Steve oh, with a y. Questlove yeah. Steve Bill Plympton with a a y. [ light laughter ] jimmy get out of here [ cheers and applause ] steve come on. I was thinking of bill plimpton who wrote, you know, paper tigers. Jimmy stick a head through the dudes ear, it would come out the other. Steve yeah. Jimmy anyways. Questlove nightmares. Jimmy yeah, yeah. Its pretty, pretty, pretty cool stuff. Steve that still doesnt explain what those blue things were floating in the sky on the drawing. [ light laughter ] jimmy theyre just fun, man. Heres another drawing of mike pence that was sent in by an 8yearold named lance. [ laughter and applause ] all right. Got the cheeks down. Got the cheekbones. Steve yeah. Jimmy next up is White House Press secretary sean spicer. This is a great one. This is sent in by anthony who is eight. [ laughter and applause ] steve oh wow look at the tie. The detail on the tie. Jimmy great job, anthony. Steve good job, anthony. Jimmy next up is kellyanne conway. [ audience ohs ] this was a drawing of her sent in by georgie whos six. [ laughter and applause ] pretty good. All right. Were down to the last one. Its for President Trump. It was sent in by ellis, whos ten. Here we go. There you go. Thats it right there. [ cheers and applause ] thats all the time we have for tonight show kid art. My thanks to all the kids who took time out of their busy schedules to send in drawings. Stick around, well be right back with battle of the instant song writers. [ cheers and applause ] dont look now but chuck norris is right behind you. I heard superheroes read chuck norris comics. I heard at night, the boogeyman checks under the bed for chuck. I heard cats say they have chucklike reflexes. Do you think hes still got it . I bet you a buck he catches this salt shaker. Youre on hey chuck you owe me a buck. You cant always see whats coming but when you choose unitedhealthcare, finding an innetwork doctor thats close to home is easy. So what happened . I had lunch with chuck norris. Unitedhealthcare. Say goodbye to extra taxes and fees on your wireless bill. And hello to tmobile one. Right now, get two lines of unlimited data for a hundred bucks. Taxes and fees included two lines, a hundred dollars, all in, all unlimited. Switch today. Hashtag stuffy nose. Hashtag no sleep. Hashtag mouthbreather. Just put on a breathe right strip. It instantly opens your nose up to 38 more than Cold Medicine alone. Shut your mouth and say goodnight mouthbreathers. Breathe right. Ive been with ive been retired for 11. S. One day my wife came home and said, youre driving me crazy. So, i figured ok, well as much coffee as i drink in my life starbucks was a logical place to work. When i first heard of cold brew i was like, we got iced coffee, why are we doing this . Until i drank it. Cold brew, you coarse grind it. And let it sit for 20 hours in cold water. It really is very smooth. Im hooked. I love it. Moingutse ton elenty. A antue. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody welcome back to the tonight show. Thank you for watching. Thank you for being here. You guys, earlier today on snapchat, adam levine and i did an instant song challenge where you gave us song titles, and we made up songs on the spot. Still might be up there. I dont know how snapchat works really. [ light laughter ] but i thought it would be fun to try that with our audience. [ cheers and applause ] it is time for battle of the instant songwriters here we go. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats right. Welcome to battle of the instant songwriters. Before the show, we went through our great audience, and picked out two people who said they were musicians. [ light laughter ] we gave them each a made up song title, and then gave them one hour to write an original song based on that title. Heres a shot of them practicing backstage one minute ago. He looks a little high energy. A little more energy. [ laughter ] well i cant wait to see what they came up with. Lets its time to meet them right now. Come on over, guys [ cheers and applause ] hi. [ talking over each other ] jimmy hi, nice to see you. Welcome to the show. Thank you. Lets start with contestant number one. What is your name and where are you from . My name is amy. Im from brooklyn, new york. Hey, all right [ cheers and applause ] brooklyn youre just saying that to get the crowd on your side. Yeah, i know. What was the title of the song that you were given . Its called i saw a ghost on spring break. [ light laughter ] jimmy ooh. Thats a great title. That could be spooky or it could be kind of fun. [ light laughter ] who knows . You could party with a ghost. I dont know. What instrument will you be playing tonight . Guitar. Jimmy all right. Cool. All right. Please take a seat on the stage. Now, ladies and gentlemen, here to perform the World Premiere of the soon to be classic i saw a ghost on spring break, it is amy [ cheers and applause ] lying on the beach sun block on my nose open my eyes and i saw a ghost [ cheers and applause ] he called me his boo but that wouldnt do you tried to woo me you couldnt fool me i saw right through you [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness yeah whoa whoa wow hey that was incredible [ cheers and applause ] that was unbelievable. Were you were you were you on the voice . I was. Jimmy yeah . You were . Yes. Jimmy last season . Season nine. Jimmy i saw you. You did . Jimmy yeah. No. Jimmy thats why i recognized you. Stop. Jimmy oh my god. Thats so rad. Whats your name again . Amy. Jimmy amy, yeah. Whats your last name . Vachal. Jimmy amy vachal, thats so cool. Hey. Good luck. Yeah. I know. Really [ applause ] jimmy its not very fair. Random audience member. I didnt know. Whats your name, and what tv show have you been on . [ laughter ] jimmy fallon show. My names josh. Jimmy josh, where are you from, josh . Im originally from baltimore. Ive been in new york for ten years. [ cheers and applause ] i love new york. I love baltimore, too. Jimmy please tell everyone what your song title is. Cheeto in my speedo. [ laughter ] jimmy you lucked out. You got a great title. Yeah. I like it. Jimmy yeah, were pretty fair here. [ light laughter ] looks like a good competition. Jimmy what what instrument will you be playing tonight . Guitar. Jimmy all right, very good. Take a seat over there on that stool. Get ready. Get in the zone. [ cheers and applause ] the talent, the inspiration. Ready . Now, ladies and gentlemen, get ready for the World Premiere of cheeto in my speedo by josh [ cheers and applause ] when springtimes skies are blue and theres one thing im dreaming just to do he lost my daisy dukes and head on down to the Swimming Hole with you and even though the weathers just a cool 45 dont believe that ive ever felt so alive ive got a cheeto in my speedo and its flaming hot for you hand me that floppy old pool noodle and well sing toodle doodle do but the cheeto in my speedo would stretch a thousand miles for you but the water was getting cold i looked down at my poor noodle it was a tiny cheese doodle [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh that was great that was unbelievable holy mackerel wow wow that was fantastic give it up once again for these guys [ cheers and applause ] oh, my gosh. You are talented. Two talented people. Guys, now its time to see who won. This is a tough one, man. So were going to let our great audience decide the winner. Was it amy . [ cheers and applause ] or was it josh . [ cheers and applause ] the winner is amy congratulations [ cheers and applause ] youll be going home with 1,000 and a tonight show notebook for writing more songs. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Yeah. Jimmy and no one goes home emptyhanded. Josh, you will get an envelope for 500. [ cheers and applause ] oh thank you so much. Jimmy keep writing. Man, oh man. Ill be seeing you guys around. You guys are fantastic. Isnt that great . These instant songwriters [ cheers and applause ] stick around, well be right back with jason segel, everybody unbelievable [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. Werent they fantastic, those singers . Werent they great . [ cheers and applause ] they were fantastic. So many talented people in this world. Oh, my gosh. Guys, my first guest is a very funny man and a very talented actor. He stars in the new movie, the discovery, which premieres on netflix and in select theaters this friday. Please welcome, the always entertaining, our pal, jason segel, everyone [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back. Thank you. Jimmy youre looking sharp. Thanks, thanks. Thank you very much. [ cheers ] jimmy thats a lot of love for you. That must feel good, right. Right. Jimmy we love having you on the show. Thanks. Jimmy we missed you. I dont get to see you enough because yeah, yeah. Jimmy you kind of moved to, like, a small town somewhere, right . Yeah, yeah, yeah. I moved, like, a couple of hours out of l. A. , and i live in, like, a little real small town, kind of out of it a a little bit, which is nice. Jimmy do fans still come up to you and, like no. People dont care so much about me at all in the town, which is nice. [ laughter ] weve been on a little, like eight cities in 10 days college town. Jimmy oh, yeah. So, thats been a little bit more because people love how i met your mother a lot. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. Jimmy sweet. And im also i feel like you and i are similar in this. Im, like, the least intimidating version of a a celebrity. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, exactly. If you saw robert deniro, you would be afraid. Jimmy yeah. But people run up and, like jimmy hug you . Like, marshall [ laughter ] which is great. Jimmy no, thats fun. Its the best. But they always want the selfie. Jimmy yeah. And then, ive noticed they Say Something kind of interesting. They say, my friends will never believe me. Jimmy yeah, they do say that. Like theyre the friends who make up weird lies about, like, running into celebrities. [ laughter ] jimmy maybe thats true, but i never thought about that. Maybe they have a problem, like lying. Yeah, like, i saw ted danson at the coffee shop. Jimmy yeah, its like, no, you did not. Yeah. No, you didnt. Liar, weird liar. Jimmy picture or it didnt happen. Yeah. Yeah. They want proof. Jimmy yeah, but so i started realizing, like, im not really, like, getting anything out of this exchange. Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] so i want at least to have some amusement. Jimmy yeah. So i, instead of taking photos now, i asked them if theyll take a walking video. [ light laughter ] jimmy what is a walking video . Well they say, hey hey, marshall [ laughter ] jimmy yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Can we take a selfie . And i say, well, id actually id rather take a a walking video. [ light laughter ] they say, whats a walking video . I say, oh, give me your phone. And then, they give me their phone, and then, i push record on the video. Jimmy yeah. And then, i start walking. [ light laughter ] jimmy this is genius. Yeah, i brought you one to check out. Jimmy let me see. Heres the walking video. This is what jason segels been up to. [ laughter ] this is a cool walking video. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy first of all, you couldnt have said how nice of those people. They were the nicest. I let it go for, like, way too long. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, yeah. They didnt know what to do at one point. Jimmy no. Thats whats the greatest. I wont respond to any questions or anything. [ light laughter ] so at some point, they just grow very uncomfortable, and sometimes, they start narrating the video like i dont know its for. Theyre like, this is jim walking down the street with jason segel. [ laughter ] just saying whats up. Jimmy oh, i love it. Yeah, its great. Jimmy but youd also i see you take photos, too because this kind of made me laugh. Well, this is where it changed. [ light laughter ] so jimmy this is where you yeah. I was in newport, rhode island, filming the discovery, and the u. P. S. Man asked if we could take a picture. And i said, yes, of course. I would love to. And so, we took this picture. But then, he, like, very early on hashtagged it, the discovery poster. So then, when you would google the discovery, which is like a provocative film about the afterlife [ laughter ] this would come up. Jimmy i love i love this yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i love the way the world the world is so fun right now. Yeah. Jimmy its the wild, wild west. Yeah. Jimmy what is wrong with perople . So, the Robert Redford, rooney mara drama looks like a a 90s sitcom. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy you in buddy cop movie, yeah. Totally. Jimmy oh, gosh. Thats hilarious. Yeah. Jimmy this is not the poster for the discovery. Thats right. Jimmy that is on netflix and in select theaters. What is the discovery about . Okay. Well, the discovery is sort of, like, a maybe a scifi love story. Jimmy mmhmm. Its about a scientist, Robert Redford, who has proven the existence of the afterlife jimmy there is . That there is life after death. And the unexpected consequences that everyone whos unhappy just starts killing themselves. Jimmy yeah. To get to the other side to start over. Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] yeah, why did the chicken cross the road . Why . Jimmy why . To get to the other side. Yeah. [ rim shot ] [ laughter ] that should have been our tag line. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Robert Redford would kill you. Yeah, but we should have used that as a poster. [ laughter ] jimmy it would still be great. Why did the chicken cross the road . Why did the chicken cross the road . [ laughter ] jimmy thats the name of the show. I want to show a clip. Yeah. Jimmy heres you and rooney mara and Robert Redford. Jason segel in the discovery. Take a look at this. The head or the feet . Head. Okay. Oh, hey. What are you up to . Oh, nothing much, jim. Im just walking a corpse through a parking lot. Whyd you go to the gym . We could jog at a a hypothetical gym. Believe me, a hypothetical gym makes you not want to kill yourself. I could be supportive. Do we just leave it there . Believe it or not, this is my first time returning a a corpse, so im improvising. [ cheers and applause ] jason segel, the discovery hits netflix and select theaters this friday. [ cheers and applause ] well be back with lilly singh stick around, everybody jason segel [ cheers and applause ] the average familys hectic home its raised 1 dare devil, 2 dynamic diy duos, and an entrepreneur named sharon. Its witnessed 31 crashes, 4 food fights, and the flood of 09. Its your paradise perfected with behr premium plus low odor paint. The best you can buy starting under 25. Unbelievable quality. Unbeatable prices. Only at the home depot. I dont think thats how theyre made. Klondike hooks up with tasty flavors. The best ice cream bars ever conceived. Its an italianankie, hero from subway. Got there . Thats a lotta meat on that sandwich well yeah, its got mortadella, spicy capicola. Capicola, niiice. Genoa salami, provolone. 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[ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is a a comedian, and star of one of the most popular channels on youtube where shes known as super woman, and she has over 11 million subscribers. Shes also written a book called how to be a bawse which comes out today. Everyone please welcome the very talented lilly singh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy lilly, welcome back to the show. You look gorgeous. Thank you. Thank you. I took a shower. Jimmy you did, you took a a shower. Thank you for doing that. Congratulations on the book. Thank you. Thank you. I know. Its like my baby. Jimmy i mean this is it. This came out today. Its my baby, i gave birth to it today. [ light laughter ] jimmy and look how you look fantastic. Thank you. Jimmy absolutely. I lost all the weight already. Jimmy oh, my gosh. Thats what being a bawse is all about. You know. Jimmy now, what is the difference between being a boss and a bawse. Youre saying it correct by the way. I know youre feeling insecure about it, i feel. Jimmy a little yeah. How did you know that . It was because you said bbbawse, but youre saying it so well because, you are a a bawse. Well get to that in a second though, but a boss is someone whos in the workplace. You know, you think about them professionally, but a boss is someone who conquers their life as a whole. So not just at work, but at home, in the relationships. In how they communicate. They dont just survive life, they conquer it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy dont you want to be a bawse . Yes jimmy thats what you want to do. Its a great book. Its a great read. Thank you. Jimmy its so many fun things too, and chapters to give you tips on being a bawse. [ light laughter ] when did you realize that you were a bawse . Youre still nailing it, by the way. Very well done. Jimmy that was a little bit better . Yeah, its all good. I think i learned you know, my journey on youtube was very much what taught to be comfortable who i am. Be comfortable in my own skin, no matter how weird i am, if i have stretch marks, if i have love handles, i dont care. I was just like, i live who i am. Thats when i decided im a a bawse. Jimmy yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i need this. Sometimes i dont feel like a a bawse. Well, you know what, i wanted to bring this up earlier. You are a boss because i mention you in the book. Jimmy i saw this. I really i really i kind of got a little emotional. Did you . Jimmy yeah. Aw. Jimmy it was very nice of you. Jimmy. Jimmy you dont have to do that. You dont have to i didnt have to. I wanted to. Jimmy and it was a chapter called shake what your mama gave you. [ laughter and applause ] and so i was wondering, why im in that chapter. [ light laughter ] you can see my confusion, but i was still emotional. I mean well jimmy i was like oh my gosh, shes seen me dance. Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy yeah. Yeah. You know you know what it was, was when we met, and you walked out of the room, i looked when you walked away, and i was like, damn, jimmy. Jimmy no, no, no. [ cheers and applause ] thats not damn, jimmy no but for real, the titles supposed to misdirect you, but its about how when you walked in, the first time i met jimmy, he walked into my change room. I was obviously fangirling, because i adore you, and we were having a conversation, and you paused because you realized you didnt introduce yourself to everyone in the room. So you said, hi, my name is jimmy, and shook hands with everyone, and when you left everybody was taken so aback because you were so sweet and down to earth, and i thought, hes shaking what his mama gave him, his hands, and everyone knows youre jimmy, but you didnt care, you still did it. [ cheers and applause ] bawse. Jimmy i just love you. I think youre the coolest. Oh this is a good bawse. Thank you. Jimmy this is a good bawse photo right there. Bawse oh, okay. Jimmy yeah. Okay, i mean this is major league. Thank you. Jimmy i mean youre in the library of congress. [ light laughter ] its a cool thing. Thank you. It is really cool. Jimmy i feel connected to you and thats why i wanted to play a game called the jinx challenge. Okay. Jimmy now, heres what it is. Were both going to put on these gloves. Fancy. Okay. Jimmy yeah okay. Ooh. Jimmy were going to put on these gloves, im going to shaking what his mama gave him for real. Jimmy here we go, yeah. Here we go. Jimmy all right, now you put that on. Now were going to read a a category from these cards here, all right tricky. Theyre very large. Jimmy and then we count to three, and then both pick something in that category at the same time, and when we say the same thing, its a jinx. And we want a jinx. We want a jinx. Jimmy we want to be connected, yeah. Teamwork makes the dream work. Got it. Got it. Got it. Im so nervous. Jimmy teamwork makes the dream work. Got it. [ light laughter ] jimmy last time i did this was with nicole kidman, and we got three jinxes. Pretty good. Lets try to break the record. All right. Lets see what the category is. Planet. Three, two, one [ at the same time ] jupiter. Jimmy oh [ cheers and applause ] that was impressive. That was really good. Jimmy that was great. That was good. Were good. Were good. Jimmy woo, all right, you ready . Oh i love this. Im so nervous. Jimmy i know soup. Three, two, one vegetable. Chicken noodle. Oh, and im a vegetarian. Jimmy i know you are. Ready . Three, two, one cream of mushroom. Jimmy chili. Chili . Jimmy i know. I know. Im blanking on soup. Three, two, one lentil. Split pea. [ light laughter ] jimmy all right, we didnt get that. Okay, im indian. We dont drink soup. [ laughter ] jimmy you dont drink soup. Ready . Im like split pea . Is that jimmy i thought of chili. All right ready . Video games. Three, two, one super mario brothers. Mortal kombat. Youre right. I should have said that. Jimmy no youre right. I like mortal kombat. Ready . Okay. Jimmy three, two, one street fighter. Mario party. Jimmy i think were going in opposite directions. Okay, were Going Old School here. Jimmy three, two, one pacman. Sonic. Okay all right. Its cool. Its cool. Were connected. Jimmy yeah, were still connected. Do you want to do one more . Yeah, for sure. Jimmy video game or no . New category. New category. Jimmy new category. Ready . Super heroes. Three, two, one wonder woman super woman. [ laughter and applause ] what . What . [ buzzer ] jimmy i cant believe i didnt say i know, i know, of all things. All right, ready . Three, two, one both iron man. Yes [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its a jinx. We got two yes jimmy we need one more to tie. Two more to win. Im so completely invested in this. Jimmy get ready for this. Come on. Lets get bawse. Jimmy lets do this. Holidays. Three, two, one both christmas. Yes [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yes yes we get one more jinx and we have the record, right . This is the one. Jimmy fish. One, two, three both salmon. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yes youre the best lilly singh, her new book how to be a bawse is available now. We have standup from brian regan after the break, stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] various shouting heigh ho its off to work we go woman on the gulf coast, new exxonmobil projects are expected to create over 45,000 jobs. And each job created by the Energy Industry supports two others in the community. Altogether, the industry supports over 9 million jobs nationwide. These are jobs that natural gas is helping make happen, all while reducing americas emissions. Energy lives here. At red lobsters lobsterfestime. All while reducing americas emissions. Any of these 9 lobster dishes could be yours. 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The nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release Technology Helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. Its the best thing that ever happened to me. Every great why needs a great how. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is one of my favorite comedians. Were always so happy to have him join us. On june 23rd and the 24th, he will be recording the first of two netflix standup specials at the Paramount Theatre in denver. Please welcome the very funny brian regan [ cheers and applause ] hey all right [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thank you. Yeah, thats very nice. Well, theres been some changes in our country since the last time i was here. [ light laughter ] i dont know if anybody saw that blurb in the paper, but i think theres a new president . [ light laughter ] i dont think ive ever been more afraid to bring up a a subject in my life. [ laughter ] even socially, you know, going to barbecues, are we going to be talking politics, or are we going to be having fun . [ laughter ] i just want some brisket. I dont want to be yelled at. [ light laughter ] i just saw the hatfields and mccoys peel out. They couldnt take the tension. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] i dont know why anyone would ever want to be the president anyway, you know . I wouldnt want that job in a a million years. Can you imagine being awakened every morning like this . Problems. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] all kinds of problems. [ laughter ] no matter what they decide, theres two sides to everything, you know . Theres controversy about whether or not we should put boots on the ground in the mideast. Some say yes. Some say no. I think when you hear that expression, though, boots on the ground, you assume that means soldiers in the boots. [ light laughter ] id say we drop a bunch of boots on them. Just plane load after plane load, just keep shoving boots out. [ laughter ] they wont know what hit them. Theyll be like, what are all these boots on the ground . Keep dropping dropping our best boots. [ cheers and applause ] so theyre up to their neck in them. Theres too many boots on the ground [ laughter ] be absolutely stymied. [ light laughter ] problem solved. [ light laughter ] speaking of problems, i read this. Apparently, the israelis and palestinians are not getting along . [ light laughter ] what the [ light laughter ] what happened . I go on a short vacation. I dont know how theyre going to solve their issues. They tried violence. That hasnt worked. [ light laughter ] nothings worked, you know . But you know what they havent tried, and i think its worth a a shot. They havent tried a good dad [ light laughter ] because a good dad can solve a a problem in 30 seconds. [ light laughter ] i say we send a good dad over there. What in the hell is going on over here . [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] well, he started it. No, he started i dont care who started it. Knock it off [ laughter ] why are you fighting anyway . Well, this is mine. No, its mine. How about if its neither of yours . Would you like that . [ light laughter ] how about if i took it away from both of you . You dont like that so much. Figure out how to share. Give each other a kiss and a a hug. Say you love each other. Get a good nights sleep. Were going to have a great day tomorrow. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] hey, this is cool. Kim jongun is one of my facebook friends. [ light laughter ] hes, like, liking my stuff. Thanks, kim jongun [ laughter ] i read recently im not making this up. They said kim jongun is considering outlawing sarcasm in north korea. [ light laughter ] i wonder if he proposed that to his team, and one of his generals said, oh, yeah. That will work. [ laughter ] thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy brian regan. [ cheers and applause ] were gonna talk to brian after the break stick around, everybody come right back [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back were hanging out with brian regan right here [ cheers and applause ] thats what im talking about. Thank you. Jimmy i kind of slipped the big news before i introduced you and i said that you were filming one of two netflix specials over in denver on the 24th, i want to say. So you signed a deal with netflix . This is first im hearing about it. Jimmy yeah, yeah. For two specials. Jimmy this is it. Yeah. Im pretty honored. Jimmy theyre getting every great comedian. You, chapel, chris rock, jerry seinfeld. And amy schumer. All the big comedians are doing this. I think heads are going to roll when they find out i slipped myself into that company. [ light laughter ] jimmy no, its great. Are you still do you go on the road all the time . Yeah, i love it, man. I love doing standup. I love audiences like this. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i dont even know if i brought this up the last time you were on. But i opened for you a couple of times. I know. Jimmy and you were so nice to me. But not only just me, but your staff. We went out, you bought all the staff pizza and drinks after the show. And i was like i dont know. Ill never forget that. It was just so good. I appreciate it, man. Thank you. Jimmy you didnt have to do that. Yeah. I had to pay for it. [ light laughter ] you drove us there. I slipped out before the check came, you know. Jimmy we would play a game where wed try to sneak in a a funny word into our act that wed never use in our act. Do you still play that game . Sometimes, yeah. Jimmy like, what was, i think it was lunch meats or something . It might have been once. Youve got to work it into a a bit, theres no place for it. You just say it out of context. The only laugh is the other comedians in the back. [ light laughter ] jimmy its the most fun game. He said lunch meat. Jimmy i said some pretty good lunch meats. You know, i like a sandwich. You know, with my chockie chip chip. [ light laughter ] do you hang out with fans, do you meet them after the show . Its really nice, man. Whats fun is i have different age ranges that seem to like what i do. Which is very flattering. But its weird, you know . I had a little kid, i swear, come back after the show with his family and pointed at me and said, why were you so loud . I was trying to sleep [ light laughter ] jimmy sorry about that. I didnt mean to do my act during nap time. [ light laughter ] and i had another family come back with, like, their grandmother, you know. Jimmy yeah. A very nice family. And the grandmother wasnt saying anything. She was off to the side. Out of the blue she just said, so, how long have you been in vaudeville . [ light laughter ] jimmy oh my gosh. Since 1910, i guess. [ light laughter ] jimmy vaudeville . Crazy. Jimmy good god. Youve got to get out more, yeah. Or get netflix. And then you can see it on there. Our thanks to brian regan, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] for tour dates, and more information, check out brianregan. Com my thanks to jason segel, lilly singh, brian regan once again [ cheers and applause ] and the roots from philadelphia, pennsylvania stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching have a great night i hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight scarlett johansson. The hosts of morning joe, Joe Scarborough and mika brzezinski. Cooking with mario batali. Featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening, everybody. Im seth meyers, this is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] thats great to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. Democrats have called for the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee to recuse himself from the investigation into russias electionrelated hacking over concerns that he is too close to President Trump to be impartial