Musical guest, future islands, and featuring the legendary roots crew, questlove 621 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, hey [ cheers and applause ] oh, youre too nice. Welcome. Enjoy yourselves. Sit down. Enjoy yourselves. Relax. Welcome. Thank you for being here, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] this is the tonight show. Today the east coast was hit with a major snowstorm and it forced new york city Public Schools to close. When she heard that [ scattered cheers ] when she heard that, the new education secretary betsy devos was like, hey, my plans working already. Thats [ applause ] thats exactly what i was looking for. But it is pretty crazy out there. In fact, today i saw a woman, she was Cross Country skiing on [ laughter ] new york citys west side highway. Apparently when her kids told her they had a snow day she was like, i got to get to work. I mean i got to [ laughter and applause ] strap on in. [ cheers ] but the snow made it really difficult for anybody who was rujjr city. Heres what some people had to say. This woman said, this is a a nightmare. The flight out of laguardia was cancelled. It could be days before i get out of here. [ laughter ] this man said, my flight was delayed for six hours, then cancelled. I dont expect to get home anytime soon. [ light laughter ] finally this woman said, oh no. Looks like i cant make it to washington, d. C. This weekend. Bummer for me. [ cheers and applause ] doesnt look that upset. Steve really . She does not look upset. Jimmy she doesnt look upset at all. Steve she looks very happy. Jimmy like shes in a good mood. Steve weird. [ light laughter ] jimmy hey guys, i saw that nordstroms stock went up after President Trump attacked them on twitter. [ cheers and applause ] oh, my nordstroms stock went up after President Trump attacked them on twitter for dropping ivankas clothing line. Then radioshack said, would you mind attacking us . [ laughter and applause ] i mean we also refuse to sell her clothing. And we mentioned betsy devos earlier. She was also confirmed this week as secretary of education. Some people arent too happy with her confirmation saying that she has no real experience in public education. Yeah. Well we wanted to give her a a chance to defend herself, so we actually have betsy devos via satellite right now. Betsy . [ applause ] betsy . Betsy betsy hi, jimmy. Hi, jimmy. Thanks for having me on your television. Jimmy betsy betsy, the cameras the other way. Just turn to your yep. [ light laughter ] perfect. Jimmy welcome to the show. I have notes. [ light laughter ] hi. Im betsy deevos. Jimmy no. Thats actually its devos. And im very exited jimmy excited . Excited. To be your new secretary of educake boss. [ laughter ] jimmy all right, betsy, betsy. Betsy, put down the notes, maybe. And lets just talk, okay . Now look, i hear you already got some ideas on how to improve schools. Is that correct . Yes. Idea number one. No more textbooks, theyre too heavy and got too many words. [ light laughter ] from here on out, every school will be switching to a a pamphletbased education system. Take the history pamphlet. [ laughter ] right . It tells how the dinosaurs fought the vikings then went on to form the band america. Which had great hits like a horse with no name. But i actually know the horses name. Its cinnamon i love cinnamon [ laughter ] jimmy im not sure i follow. Im betsy devos. [ light laughter ] jimmy i know. Yeah. Thats correct. Thats right. Heres the pamphlet on foreign languages. Jimmy okay. [ laughter ] thats [ applause ] thats now, mr. Trump wrote this one himself. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, that is interesting, yeah. Betsy betsy dont eat the pamphlet. No. Betsy, no. Betsy, put it down betsy, put that down. Dont eat the pamphlet. Please. Hi. Im betsy devos. [ laughter ] jimmy i know, i know. Betsy, i know that. Okay, look [ light laughter ] um jimmy im afraid to ask, but are there any other new changes . Hi, jimmy. Every student will learn a a brand new pledge of allegiance that i actually wrote. [ laughter ] jimmy i know this is probably a mistake, but im going to go ahead and ask. What is it . I pledge allegiance to the frog of the untied states of macarena. Jimmy okay. And to the Reince Priebus for which it stands one nae nae under dog, invisible. Jimmy all right, all right. Im going to stop you right there. Okay . Im gonna stop hi. Im betsy devos. Jimmy thats right. There we go. Betsy devos, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] thats betsy devos. Thank you very much. I saw that this week homeland secretary john kelly took responsibility for the chaotic rollout of trumps immigration ban. And said that he should have known to delay it. Kelly actually release a a statement. But im not actually sure that he really wrote it. Take a look at this. It says for the record the immigration ban chaos was all my fault. Sad. [ laughter ] i am purposely writing this statement because, believe me, i screwed up bigly. [ laughter ] i am a loser. That i can tell you. I choked so bad. Im lucky the truly fantastic President Trump isnt deporting me to china. [ laughter ] sincerely, secretary whats his name. [ applause ] that doesnt sound like feels like he didnt write it, you know . Steve i know. Jimmy a lot of us can relate to this. Our pal, shaquille oneal, says that hes trying to eat healthier. And hes cut soda, bread, sandwiches and fast food out of his diet. Yeah. When asked what hes eating instead he said, mostly trees. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy this is pretty crazy. I read about a woman in colorado who quit her job because she was feeling burnt out and then won over 3 million from the lottery a a few days later. [ audience oohs ] i think the big lesson from this story is dont try and learn any lessons from this story. [ laughter ] theres no pure luck. It will never happen. [ applause ] hey, some news for travelers. I read the baltimore airport just got a gym where you can work out while you wait for a a flight. [ cheers ] finally combining the two things americans love most waiting in airports and exercise. [ applause ] finally. Thats right. Theres a Fitness Center at the baltimore airport. So now instead of just sitting around during long layovers you can spend that time feeling guilty about not going to the gym. There you go. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots, right there [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness. That is nathan east sitting in with the roots tonight hey good to see you, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thank you. Jimmy looking good, pal. Thank you. Jimmy his new number one jazz album, reverence, is out now. Thank you so much for coming back. We love you, buddy. Great to be he. Jimmy sounds great. Thanks, jimmy. Jimmy talented dude. Guys, this has been a great week so far. Theres more ahead. Tomorrow night lena dunham will be here. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy common. Common is coming back on the show. Steve oh. Jimmy commons going to do a little wheel of freestyle tomorrow. Dont miss that. Plus, we have stand up form comedians kate berlant and john early. [ cheers and applause ] really funny. Steve oh. Jimmy and thank you notes. Thats all tomorrow. Its going to be good. But first, he is hosting saturday night live for a a record 17th time this weekend. The one, the only alec baldwin is joining us tonight steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oy, oy steve robot. Jimmy were going to catch up with alec baldwin. Then he and i are going to play box of lies. Steve ooh. [ audience oohs ] jimmy stick around for that. Plus, from the new movie fist fight, Joanna Garcia swisher is dropping in. [ cheers and applause ] and weve got great music from future islands, everybody. Steve oh [ applause ] jimmy not that. Thats not it. Steve thats it, right . Jimmy no, that it wont be that. That . Steve maybe. Jimmy is that it . Thats right. Right there, future islands. Thats it. Steve is that it . Jimmy thats the fun thats the fun thing about their, all of their album covers. Steve you become coauthors. You decide which ways right. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah. cause whos to say, that youre standing up looking down steve right. Jimmy going, oh thats cool. Steve yeah. Jimmy is it cool . Steve we dont know. Jimmy well who knows . Unless you like that. Steve explore all angles. Jimmy oh, thats normal. Like, what is normal . Steve there is no normal. Thats whats normal. Jimmy normal is what it is to you. You see what im saying . [ light laughter ] steve nice. Jimmy future islands are here tonight. Steve yeah jimmy thats good stuff. [ cheers and applause ] ah yeah. Theyre good. Hey, guys, its time for tonight show hashtags. Here we go. Hashtags hashtags jimmy oh, thank you, guys. That was good tonight. Guys, we use twitter on the show every single week. So if you watch our show and you want to play along with us we do this thing every wednesday. Right . Ill send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. So, since valentines day is coming up reminder. [ light laughter ] i went on twitter thats yeah. Thats for you higgans, man. I went on twitter and then sent out a hashtag called whyimsingle. [ light laughter ] i asked you guys to tweet out a a funny, weird, or embarrassing story about why youre single. We got thousands of tweets, within 15 minutes it was a a trending topic in the usa. [ cheers and applause ] im laughing at really good. So now i thought id share some of my favorite why im single tweets, from you guys. And thank you so much for being honest and sending these in. Its great. [ laughter ] this first ones from dazyski. He says, i keep snacks in my pocket. Once on date i was caught sneaking a handful of cinnamon toast crunch while waiting for our food. [ laughter and applause ] steve oh jimmy you want some . This ones from wawaiki. Steve wawaiki . Jimmy he says, i held the door for a girl i had a crush on, she said, thank you. then i jumbled youre welcome with no problem and said, your problem. [ laughter and applause ] now i its your problem youre going steve thats on you. Jimmy youre going to have to walk in without opening the door. [ light laughter ] steve oh, im bleeding. Jimmy thats your problem. Jimmy this ones from kt12346. Get it . [ light laughter ] steve k. T. What . 12346 . Jimmy oh, i get it. Steve all right, yeah. Wait. I dont get it. Jimmy you dont get it . Steve no, no, i dont. K. T. Jimmy k. T. 12346, get it . Steve missing the 5 . Jimmy gimme five. [ slap ] [ light laughter ] well, she says, i have a a framed photo of Chris Hemsworth that i signed hanging above my bed. It says, thanks for everything, katie, love chris. [ laughter and applause ] steve oh. Jimmy hes a good dude. I bet you he would do that. Steve yeah. We should get that for her. Jimmy we should get that to kt12346. Steve hes the greatest. Jimmy Chris Hemsworth if youre watching. Steve just send it to her. Jimmy yeah. Send her a framed photo that says steve you got it mate jimmy thanks for everything, katie, love chris. Steve yeah. Jimmy hes a good dude. Hell do that. Steve hes a good dude. Jimmy yeah. This ones from squawkyou. Steve i get that one [ laughter ] jimmy i dont get it. Steve yeah. Go squawk yourself. [ laughter ] jimmy i dont get it. [ laughter ] what kind of a mother squawking thing is that to say, man . Steve hey, squawk you and your jimmy oh, squawk you, too steve squawk off jimmy all right. [ laughter ] meet the squawkers. Dude im telling you this is something we could make this something. Steve ive already got the mugs. Jimmy he says, im a a health inspector. On dinner dates i cant help pointing out all the Health Code Violations in the restaurant. [ laughter and applause ] leaky air conditioner. Steve yeah. Theres rat feces in the corner. [ laughter ] yeah. Somes allowed. Yeah. Jimmy yeah, this ones allowed. [ laughter ] this one is from carebarrett6. She says, my dad makes me run every potential date through the sex offender registry just in case we catch a live one. [ laughter and applause ] what . Steve wow. Show up with a 12 pack of mikes hard lemonade. Jimmy i love her dad. Thats awesome, man. Steve call chris hansen. Jimmy we got a live one. [ laughter ] get in the car, honey. Steve im ready for him. Jimmy this is funny one here. Steve is it a good one . [ light laughter ] jimmy this ones from steve i cannot wait to hear it. Jimmy alicia baltus. Jimmy alicia baltus. Jimmy shey says, when i eat cake i flip it upsidedown so i can lick the icing off the plate when im done with the cake. [ laughter ] i like her i would do that. Steve yeah jimmy i never thought of that. Steve thats class. christyshark89. Steve i get that one. I sharked. [ light laughter ] jimmy she says, a guy i was dating sat down on the couch next to me. I proceeded to whisper to myself, thats the cats spot. [ laughter and applause ] there you have it. Those are our tonight show hashtags. To check out more of our favorites, go tonightshow. Com hashtags. [ applause ] its fun. Its good stuff. Thank you, guys, for sending that in, being honest. Hey, guys, before we go to commercial i want to mention this cool thing that bmw is doing. We all know they make cars, like they have the new 5 series. But now theyre also theyve been making films for 15 years. And they have a new short film out called the escape starring clive owen. You can check it out right now on bmwfilms. Com or you can just stay tuned right here. Because this is the first time theyre doing this. Theyre going to be playing it for you during tonights commercial breaks. Steve ooh. [ audience oohs ] jimmy yeah. Steve like, throughout the whole show . Jimmy yeah. Steve how many commer like jimmy i think its like four four breaks. Youre going to be full on youre gonna see movie, basically. Steve nuts. I love it. Jimmy yeah. Check it out. Its pretty awesome, man. Steve i love it. Jimmy stick around. Well be right back with alec baldwin, everybody. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] this is gus. Gus is a handful. We dont know what this thing is, but someday, gus will because this is the thing that gus will build that will change the world. And this is the thing that could change gus world. Gus doesnt know what this thing is, but we know what this thing is. This is the thing well help gus get rid of. And without this thing, gus can grow up to build this thing, whatever that thing is, because thats what we do. We do health things, and we do those things for northern california, birthplace of pioneers. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we are joined right now by a gifted performer who will be hosting saturday night live for a record 17th time this weekend with musical guest ed sheeran, put it together for a very talented man, mr. Alec baldwin, ladies and gentlemen [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness Alec Baldwin Alec baldwin, you are a stud. Welcome back to the show, and you look great, buddy. Well, i got this suit at from the ivanka trump mens collection at nordstroms. [ laughter ] big sale right now, 95 off of everything. Jimmy is it really that 95 off. Jimmy well, thats a good deal. Well, i want to say that you look great and you are so funny and you are so handsome. Jimmy thank you. But you also, you have the best band. Dont you think . Jimmy oh, i have the best band. [ cheers and applause ] the roots. From philadelphia, pennsylvania. The roots. Theyre unbelievable. You know, every time you come on the show, its super fun. Is this distracting . No. [ laughter ] i know youre ocd. Please. Jimmy i have to clean it every single time. Every time you come on the show its always fun. You never know what is going to be, you know, going to be [ laughter ] happening. Jimmy you never know whats going to happen. You were here with Barbra Streisand. Yes. Jimmy the great Barbra Streisand. We did the show with streisand. Jimmy dude, you did a duet with Barbra Streisand. Well jimmy she did a duet with you. If you stretch yeah. I watched her sing, and we called it a duet. Jimmy no. It was beautiful. It was fantastic, but my favorite part was you did the first take, you did it. She was blown away to be singing with me. She was so blown away. [ laughter ] she couldnt she couldnt concentrate. Jimmy yeah, exactly. Completely blew the take. Jimmy exactly, right. Do you have a clip . Jimmy we have a clip. I think it was let me see. She cant handle it. [ light laughter ] take it with me. Jimmy heres Barbra Streisand and alec baldwin breaking during their duet on our show back in august and i ended up joining them onstage. Check it out. What do you say we just stay home what do you say we just go out on the boat and get smashed and then na, na, na come in and sing with us. Can i go on the boat too id love to [ laughter ] i never thought it could happen like this give us a kiss [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats fun, man. We did a take. We did a take here and we blew it. Whole thing fell apart. Then we did it again, the right way. That was take that we blew, it was very funny. Jimmy it was so much fun. Its Like Old School show business fun. It was just great. Everyone went nuts. But we never aired that. But anyways thanks for doing that. When i did the song, we recorded the song in a studio here and i would sing and theyd put you through and i dont know much about music, they put you through the computer. Jimmy yeah. The juicer, you know, which fixes up that you cant really sing. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah. So youre like auto tuned . They auto tune you. Put you through machine. And id sing and literally, like, maybe three out of five cues i would do like id do, id hit it id be like and theyd be like, its close enough. Were okay, were fine. [ laughter ] jimmy i want to talk about this. This is very exciting for me. April 4th, is a big day. Write it on your calendar. Because youre coming out with a memoir. And i cannot wait to get it. I want an autographed copy. I want to read im gonna read it front to back, top to bottom. With all that time you have. With all that spare time you have. Jimmy no, im so excited. I want to know everything about you. I think youre one of my favorite actors, you have such an interesting life. We talked about all of these stories. Ive been friends with you you wrote a book. You wrote a book. It wasnt a memoir. What was the title of your book . [ laughter ] whats the title of your book . Jimmy dada. Dada. [ laughter ] he wrote this probing, insightful, like incredibly honed and researched treatise on parenthood called dada. [ laughter ] jimmy here it is. Thats it, dada. [ cheers and applause ] at least you know at least you know that i definitely wrote it, though. [ light laughter ] i didnt have like a ghost writer right dada, you know. I wrote a book, it was really it was tough. It was very tough to find the time. [ laughter ] jimmy you know, i was thinking to myself, like, what does a cow say . Yeah. [ laughter ] lets just go with moo and see what happens. [ laughter ] what kind of flip flops would a cow wear . But [ laughter ] jimmy what kind of flip flops would a cow wear . What kind of flip flops would a cow wear . But no, but i wrote the book and it was really hard, because like what you leave in, what you leave out. You know . You dont want to tell the truth about everybody. Jimmy oh, really . No jimmy am i in the book . Oh, my god. [ laughter ] jimmy you cant tell any stories out of school, man. I wrote several. I wrote a lot about you. [ laughter ] jimmy wait, what . I know. No. Jimmy but i want to hear stories about it. Writing the book, it was just a very arduous process. Jimmy but its like is it you going into, like, your acting . My childhood and my career and jimmy you grew up in long island, right . Grew up on long island, yeah. The book is called never the less. Jimmy never the less. Never the less, which is based on a joke that my friend told me. Would you like to hear the joke . Jimmy yes, i would. All right, so Michael Gambon, the great english actor Michael Gambon who you know from harry potter. I did a movie with Michael Gambon jimmy i know him for his other do you . [ laughter ] you know from all the John Le Carre he did. Jimmy yeah. So, Michael Gambon tells me this joke when were working back in 2001 and the joke is Something Like this. I know im going to mangle it, but its based on the sir character from the dresser donald wolfe, the great english actor. And he comes out on stage. Hes doing, hes doing shakespeare in the hinterlands there, in the provinces during the war in england and he comes out on stage and theres a a smattering of applause, hes this great star. He says quiet, he says tonight the role of desdemona shall not be played by lady emily tredwell, a murmur. He says, please, please, please. But instead it shall be assayed by my wife Lady Margaret pickering, and in the back of the theater some guy yells out, your wife is a a [ bleep ] bitch [ laughter and applause ] and sir says, nevertheless. [ laughter and applause ] thats my jimmy nevertheless comes out april 4th. Alec baldwin and i are playing box of lies after the break. Stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] with the xfinity tv app, anything with a screen is a tv. Stream 130 live channels, plus 40,000 on demand tv shows and movies, all on the go. You can even download from your x1 dvr and watch it offline. Only xfinity gives you more to stream to any screen. Download the xfinity tv app today. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. Im here with the one and only alec baldwin right there [ cheers and applause ] hosting saturday night live this weekend with musical guest ed sheeran. Alec and i are about to faceoff in a game box of lies. Now, heres how it works. Upstage are a bunch of boxes containing objects neither of us have seen before. Taking turns were going to select a box and open it on our side of the table, out of the view of the other person. You must remove the object from the box, show it to the audience, then look at your opponent and tell them, whats in your box. [ laughter ] they have to guess if youre lying or telling the truth. Well play three rounds. Alec, why dont you pick the first box. Go for it, buddy. Any number. Any one. [ audience shouting ] yeah, you pick it up. Ooh. Thats already a hint. Very light. Ooh. Okay. Ooh, its very heavy, maybe. [ laughter ] these are all hints. Im exhausted already. [ laughter ] jimmy all right. [ laughter ] i just rip it jimmy alec, what what is in your what is in your box . What was in your box . In my box was a very thick, red gelatinous teddy bear [ laughter ] swaddled in a blanket with a a binky in its mouth. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy youre good. [ laughter ] youre good, baldwin. Almost too good. [ laughter ] that is a lie eat this, jimmy fallon [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy gosh i just believe all right. All right. Which one here . [ audience shouting ] [ laughter ] good acting jimmy ah ah ooh [ laughter ] if we dont get the emmy this year [ laughter and applause ] weve done something horribly wrong. Uh what was in the box, jimmy . [ laughter ] jimmy in my box is what i assume to be shavings of pickles . In the shape of a welcome mat, a tiny welcome mat, for probably a doll house. Could be shavings of i think its pickle. [ laughter ] and the word is written on the mat, it says, erma gerd, welcome. [ laughter and applause ] id say you are a liar jimmy ha ha you got me oh, my god its weird. Right . Its, like, olives, pimento olives, with like a hand with a a ring on it . I dont know what [ laughter ] i dont know what it is, man. Its like a surgical glove filled with olives. Jimmy it is its grossest thing ive ever seen in my entire life. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] grab a box and tell me whats in your box. [ audience shouting ] oh, my gosh i could tell its light. Oh, my gosh. I got to do i got to do like good acting again. Jimmy i can tell thats its light. Ooh. Okay. Its a box of tic tacs. Here we go. Jimmy uhhuh. Whew. [ laughter ] jimmy this is good already. [ laughter ] see if i get an aura off it. I know what it is. I feel it. Yeah. [ trump impression ] jimmy, its a burrito. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] its a really big, fat, juicy burrito, filled with bananas. Its a banana burrito. [ trump impression ] jimmy can i ask where this burrito is from . Its a big, fat, juicy banana burrito from honduras. [ laughter ] jimmy its not a juicy burrito from china, is it . No. No. I myself would not ever eat a a burrito from china. [ laughter ] and the hondurans that delivered this burrito here to the studio, we had him deported. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy its a good idea. That sounds like a good idea. Its a burrito filled with bananas. A banana burrito. You know what . Absolutely not. You lie, my friend. What makes you say that, jimmy . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hes still the champ. Hes still the champ. Alec baldwin [ cheers and applause ] congrats there buddy. Break a leg this weekend. Saturday night live this weekend. Ed sheeran. Stay tuned, come on, now. Come back, for more tonight show after the break, everybody come on back [ cheers and applause ] the Hydrogen Fueled mirai. Its only emission is water. Toyota. Lets go places. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest stars alongside ice cube and charlie day in the funny new film fist fight which hits theaters february 17th. Please welcome the lovely, the talented, Joanna Garcia swisher [ cheers and applause ] jimmy this theres a a blizzard outside. You had to attack me with a a snowball . I feel like you work so hard, i wanted to bring a a little of the outside in. By the way, you nailed me. I did. If i didnt i would have not been able to fly home. Jimmy right, cause your husband nick is tonight. Jimmy honey. Come on . Why didnt you get him . [ laughter ] thats not even how he sounds. Thats my own jimmy hows he doing . Hows nick doing . Hes great. Jimmy i love him. I love him. And congratulations on to him and to you on a beautiful baby girl. Yes. We did it again. Jimmy i mean, thats thats two little babies. Yes. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Never again. Were done. Jimmy what is that . What do you mean . Hes on notice, to yeah. Hes on strict notice. We are done. I am making no more. Jimmy really . Yes. Jimmy did you say, nick, nope, no. This is no. Yes. Hes on strict notice. Well get into more detail later what that means, but jimmy yeah. I want to show everyone i think this is one of the cutest pictures ive ever seen in my life. Aww. Jimmy this is sailor . Yes. Jimmy the new babys name. And then then look at this. Thats from both our new babies. [ audience awws ] jimmy i mean thats thats dianne. Jimmy and how old is the puppy . She was, like, three weeks at the time we found her. I had two things on bottles. And nick was like, are you insane . I was like, she needs a home. And then that one needed a a home, too. [ laughter ] jimmy both. But, how cute. This should be on a calendar. Thank you. Jimmy i mean, this is the best thing ive ever seen. Were going to do a daisy calendar. Jimmy little daisy. Oh, my god. Thats so cute. Daisy and sailor. Yes. Jimmy and hows the older baby . Is she enjoying the little baby . She is she is. Shes actually really nice to her. Which i was super surprised, cause shes kind of a yeah, shes a beast a little. [ laughter ] emmy is a beast. Shes a little you know, shes a tomboy. Shes a hot mess. Shes completely my child. She came home the other day covered in filth. I didnt even i took her clothes off before she got into the house. And i was like, what did you do . And shes like, i was making dirt sandwiches. I dont [ laughter ] jimmy duh hello it was a rainy day in l. A. And im making dirt sandwiches. I was like, oh, my god. Jimmy this is her. She rides horses . Yes. Thats emmy and finn. Jimmy i mean, so emmy is your daughter, but then look at this horse whos gorgeous, too. Yes. Jimmy theyre both beautiful. Gosh. You know what i read. I thought i would be like this dance mom, tiger mom, crazy beast, but nick is actually that in our family. Jimmy nick swisher is. Like, they have a whole talk. Theyre like, hes like, champ. Thats what he calls her. Jimmy yeah. What are we here to do . And shes like, were here to win jimmy i said what are we here to do . And hes like jimmy let me hear you what number are we . Shes like, number one jimmy im sorry, dad. She is like, locked in there. Jimmy shes into it . And she did win the blue ribbon, but she wasnt competing against anybody else, so. [ laughter ] jimmy 2017 everybody. Thats the way it is. Thats the way it is. But it was so cute when they announced her name, she looked over at us on the horse and she was like jimmy aww, thats cute. And we were like, oh, yeah. Cause im like, why does she know what a blue ribbon is at three, nick . And he was like, because she needs to. Jimmy thats right. [ laughter ] oh, my god. Jimmy well shes got to be proud of her mom. Fist fight. Gosh, its funny. Ice cube, charlie day. And ice cube was here. Isnt he terrifying . Jimmy no. No but see see, im so nervous. I got i was in the elevator with him last night at the hotel and i was like, hey. Im in the movie with you. And hes like, i mean honestly, weve been together now for months. So, like, i dont know why we were jimmy he said no, he said that, he has like a mean face. Yes. But its so cute. And then mean. Its like its a role. Like, its an enigma for me. Jimmy a little tough guy tough guy face. But i said to him, im like, are we going to get out tomorrow. You know . And hes like, what do you know that i dont know . And i was like, i know nothing jimmy i dont know how i know that. I know nothing jimmy im sorry, i mean nothing. Im sorry im like, its gonna snow. Do you know the snows coming. Jimmy hes the most fun dude. Hes been on the show so many times. He is a gem. Jimmy the combo of him and charlie day. And tracy morgan. Jimmy and tracy morgan in this film. I know. Jimmy but, the idea is funny. Its basically, he gets your husband charlie day fired. Yes. Jimmy oh, no im sorry. Charlie day gets ice cube fired. Yes. Jimmy and then so ice cube and theyre both teachers. Yes. Jimmy and so ice cube challenges him to a fist fight. Theyre teachers. The most epic, terrifying fight, in one of those schools that lost complete control of all reality. Jimmy well not really because ice cube would kill charlie day. Yeah, no. [ light laughter ] jimmy i mean, yeah. But you know, i really i mean you know, charlie could probably tell you truth, but i think hes still he had sustained some injuries that he is still dealing with like a a year and a half later. But they both went for it. Jimmy they did. I mean, you cant have a a movie called fist fight and not have an epic fist fight . Jimmy it all works. I want to show a clip. Heres Joanna Garcia swisher and charlie day in fist fight. Take a look at this. Wait, honey, why are you here . Its 11 30. Shouldnt you be in class . Is it 11 30 . Yeah, usually i have class now, but i think uh yeah. Wait. Did you lose your job . No. What . Oh, my god. Oh, my god. I knew that you wouldnt stand up to these people. I just knew it. Wait, im sorry. What do you mean you knew i wouldnt stand up to them . It came out wrong. What im saying is, you know, sometimes you just let people push you around. I do . Its just your thing. I have a thing . Yeah. Youre the nice guy and then people are like, hey, im going to stomp on that guy. Youre spinning out. Okay. Everything really is okay. I dont know why you dont believe me. Just cause youre acting kind of nervous and youre what, you caught me off guard. Youre a little shifty, daddy. [ laughter ] jimmy Joanna Garcia swisher, everybody. Fist fight opens february 17th. Well be right back with music from future islands. Stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] heers and applause ] [ alarm clock beeping ] weather. [ laughter ] cartoons. Wait for it. [ cat screech ] [ laughter ] [ screaming ] [ laughter ] make everyday awesome with the power of xfinity x1. Hi grandma and the fastest internet. [ girl screaming ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh our next guest will kick off a a u. S. Headlining tour in may in support of their upcoming album, the far field. Performing their new single, ran, give it up for future islands [ cheers and applause ] ingest where it goes nobody sees but me so perfect and so sweet but the rest feels incomplete whoa like the rabbits foot i keep in the locket with no key i cant take it i cant take this World Without this World Without you i cant take it i cant take it on my own on my own on these roads out of love so it goes how it feels when we fall when we fold how we lose control on these roads how it sings as it goes flight of field driving snow knows the cold ran round the wailing world and whats a song without you when every song i write is about you when i cant hold myself without you and i cant change the day i found you on these roads out of love so it goes how it feels when we fall when we fold how we lose control on these roads how it sings as it goes flight of field driving snow knows the cold out of love so it goes how it feels when we fall when we fold how we lose control on these roads how it sings as it goes flight of field driving snow knows the cold ran round the wailing world [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy oh fantastic. Future islands [ cheers and applause ] the far field is out april 7th. Well be right back, everybody [ cheers and applause ] to get a cma certification, you have to brave 8 hours of testing in the 11 most crucial areas of management accounting. Only 50 will pass. Done. So if youre one of them, feel free to brag. Youve earned it. Oh yeah. I want that. Whos next . Im next. After her. After him. The cma certification. Youve got to earn it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to alec baldwin, Joanna Garcia swisher, future islands, once again [ cheers and applause ] nathan east [ cheers and applause ] and the roots from philadelphia, pennsylvania the roots [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for late night with seth meyers thank you for watching. Have great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight drew barrymore. From crashing, comedian artie lange. Author viet thanh nguyen. Featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applaue ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening, im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. In that case, lets get to the news. Controversial nominee senator Jeff Sessions was confirmed as attorney general yesterday, and he got so excited he ran all the way back to the shire to tell his family