And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 489 woo steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much, everybody. Welcome. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, to the tonight show. This is it. You made it. Youre here. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show. This is what the people want to watch, and weve got a big show tonight. Im your host, jimmy fallon. Im gonna start off with some good news for new yorkers. Yesterday new York Governor Andrew Cuomo attended a a groundbreaking ceremony to rebuild laguardia airport, and called the airport the front door to new york. As opposed to now, when its known as the gates of hell. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i think thats a nicer has a a better ring to it. Steve true. True. Jimmy lets get to some news here. I saw that the first united state of womens summit was just held in washington, d. C. And First Lady Michelle Obama sat down with oprah where she discussed her feelings about the president and it seems like theyre still pretty happy together. Take a look. Watching my husband walk off of marine one and go to the oval office. Its like, mm did he always have that swag or has he gotten swaggier . No, he he was very swagalicious. [ laughter ] jimmy meanwhile, sasha and malia were like, ew [ cheers and applause ] thats thats so gross swagalicious is obamas new secret service code name. [ laughter ] its like, swagalicious. The big political news is that the primary season is officially over. Thats right, the last [ cheers and applause ] i know. The last primary before the convention took place in washington, d. C. , yesterday and Hillary Clinton was the winner. But get this. Bernie sanders still hasnt dropped out. [ laughter ] at this point, its just weird that hes still hanging around. Speaking of which, jay leno is my guest tonight on the show. [ cheers and applause ] over on the republican side, donald trump is still the nominee, and i dont know what to make of this but herman cain was introducing him at a rally today. Or at least i think thats what he was doing. Look at this. Aww, shucky ducky [ laughter ] this sounds like a shucky ducky kind of crowd on a shucky ducky kind of day. Here to support an aww shucky ducky kind of candidate. [ laughter ] jimmy what is going what is going on . [ applause ] oh, shucky ducky hes making that his catch phrase. In fact, herman cains even dropped a new single called shucky ducky. Take a look at this. This sounds like a shucky ducky crowd shucky ducky day donald trump shucky ducky candidate allow me to set the record straight and he makes America Great [ cheers and applause ] shucky ducky shucky ducky Shucky Shucky ducky sh sh sh shucky ducky shucky ducky jimmy ooh ooh shucky ducky [ laughter ] i think i might have pulled something on that last joke. Im not sure i can go on, actually. But this is the tonight show. We have to go on. I need someone to tag in for me. Anyone could you could you [ cheers ] you got this . [ cheers and applause ] thank you thank you very much. Thank you very much. Now, i dont know if you heard [ cheers and applause ] big story. Hi, guys. According to the Social Security administration, the most popular baby names in 2016, noah and emma. Least popular baby names . Donald and hillary. [ laughter and applause ] now, hillary Hillary Clinton says she is the most transparent candidate in modern history. How many can see right through her . Just curious. [ laughter ] uhoh, more problems for Hillary Clinton. You know, bill has been out campaigning for her, and i i dont think hes helping. Like last week in san diego, bill stopped to kiss a baby, which is usually okay. Except the kid was Breast Feeding at the time. [ laughter ] so it made it made it awkward. [ applause ] made it awkward. Ive been enjoying Donald Trumps new reality show, the amazing racist. [ laughter ] anybody watching that . Well, trump is still refusing to take back what he said about the judge. You know the judge with a a mexican surname . In fact, trump is threatening to have the judge deported back to indiana. [ laughter ] [ applause ] look at this. According according to a a Political Science professor, all of Donald Trumps speeches are given at a fifth grade level or below. [ light laughter ] and today trump said the professor who did the study was a doody head. [ laughter and applause ] actually, did you know this . Now, this is fascinating. Theres actually a dating site for Trump Supporters called trumpsingles. Com. [ light laughter ] because sometimes screwing the entire country is just not enough. [ laughter and applause ] yeah. Little hands accepted. And as jimmy said, Bernie Sanders still not conceding. Bernie says he is the most antifossil fuel of any of the candidates. [ light laughter ] well of course he is, thats cause hes the only candidate who is an actual fossil. [ laughter ] that is why that is. [ applause ] listen to this. Bernie sanders Bernie Sanders still upset because he says his fundraising dinners didnt raise as much money as Hillary Clintons. Well, of course they didnt. Nobody wants to eat dinner at 4 00 in the afternoon. [ laughter ] huh, how much cream of wheat can you eat . Please [ applause ] and during the interview last week, Bernie Sanders admitted to smoking marijuana as a young man. Yeah. He said it impaired his perception and it distorted his thinking but he expects that to clear up eventually. [ laughter and applause ] president obama president obama doing well. Approval rating 51 . 51 . The other 49 are taxpayers. Yeah. But thats [ laughter and applause ] but i tell you, jimmy, the economy is bad. The economy is bad, guys. How bad is it . The economy is so bad, in utah i saw a polygamist with just one wife. Thats how bad. [ applause ] the economy is so bad, in hollywood, porn stars are being forced to get jobs as real pizza delivery guys. Thats how bad it is. [ applause ] the economy is so bad, i saw mexicans patching a hole in the fence. Thats how bad it is. [ applause ] the economy is so bad, i saw Colonel Sanders eating Fried Chicken at the home town buffet thats how bad it is [ applause ] the economy is so bad the government is bringing in unlicensed contractors to raise the debt ceiling. Thats how bad its gotten so bad i saw four mafia guys eating at the olive garden. Thats bad. [ laughter ] the economy is so bad i turned on the biggest loser, saw my 401 k . I couldnt believe it. [ applause ] the economy is so bad, rappers can only afford now to get their teeth bronzed. Thats how bad it is. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i got one. I got one. The economy is so bad my tv remote has a menu button and a a dollar menu button. [ laughter ] the economy is so bad, Hillary Clinton deleted all of her emails except the ones from groupon. Wow [ applause ] jimmy thats how bad the economy is. Thats bad jimmy the economy is so bad, my uber driver walked up to me, pointed at his back and said, hop on. Wow [ applause ] the economy is so bad my atm just dry heaves like a cat. Yes jimmy jay leno, ladies and gentlemen, right there [ cheers and applause ] thats how its done. We have a great show. Give it up for the roots, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how fantastic is that . That is Bruce Hornsby and sonny emory sitting in with the roots tonight. Hey [ cheers and applause ] that sounded great, guys. Thank you so much for being here. Bruces new album rehab reunion is out on friday. Thank you for being here. What instrument is that right there . Crazylooking, isnt it . Thats an appalachian dulcimer. Im really terrible at it but it doesnt stop me. [ light laughter ] jimmy no, it sounds fantastic. And that is a nice washboard you got there, too. Yeah. Thank you, jimmy. [ light laughter ] jimmy guys, its been a a great week so far. Theres more ahead tomorrow night. He is a giant star. I cant wait to have him on the show. Dwayne johnson will be here. The rock will be here. [ cheers and applause ] steve hes the best jimmy but first, we love it when this guy stops by for a a monologue tagin and to hang out with us. His show, jay lenos garage started its Second Season tonight on cnbc. Its a great season. Were gonna show this clip later on that you wont even believe. He is one of the best standups and hes tonight show royalty. Jay leno is here on the program tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so fun. Plus, from the huge new summer blockbuster, Independence Day resurgence, Jeff Goldblum is dropping in. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and we have music from wale steve wale [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you guys, as you know, were always striving to get better here at the tonight show. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. [ laughter ] so before every show we put out a suggestion box for the audience just to get some feedback about what you guys think of the show, things youd like to see us do, that kind of stuff. So tonight, lets look inside the audience suggestion box. Here we go. Look into the box the suggestion box [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you for these suggestions, everybody. This first one is from brittney alvarez. Hey, jimmy, ive really been enjoying this season of the bachelorette. me, too. Especially all the drama between the guys in the house. I gotta say, theyre kinda acting like kids. You should show what their arguments would look like if they had actual kid voices. [ light laughter ] thats a good idea. So we revoiced a tense scene between two of the guys in the house, evan and chad, with actual kids voices. Take a look. Hey, chad. What do you want . Why are you here . Huh . Why are you here . What . [ laughter ] i cant believe you didnt just come right up to me and apologize. You owe me an apology, and a a shirt cause you ripped my freakin shirt. Youre ridiculous, man. Just, like, leave me alone [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] steve what . Jimmy this ones from sam kemmis. Said, hey, jimmy, have you heard that song called panda by desiigner . Its so catchy, its currently number two on the billboard hot 100. Id love to see you dance to it. Well, that song is great. [ cheers and applause ] since its called panda. I think i know someone who would be better at dancing to it. Come on out, hashtag [ cheers and applause ] i got broads in Atlanta Twistin dope lean and the fanta credit cards and the scammers hittin off licks in the bando black x6 phantom white x6 look like a panda goin out like im montana hundred killers hundred hammers [ cheers and applause ] black x6 phantom white x6 panda pockets swole danny sellin bar candy man im the macho like randy the choppa go oscar for grammy jimmy that is crazy. There he is right there. [ cheers and applause ] hashtag the panda. Is he doing the stanky leg . Steve yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy is he still out there . Hey, there he is. [ laughter ] roots, do you have any other songs that he might dance to . [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] jimmy all right. Hes exhausted. Hes leaving. Hes tired. All right, hes tired. All right, thats enough. Thats thats enough. Thats good. [ cheers and applause ] do we have a water bottle or something . What was that he had . He had a did he have a water bottle . Is he still get back hey [ laughter ] steve somebody shoved him back in. Jimmy somebody shoved him back in. That is awful. Steve hes trying to escape jimmy that is awful. Go ahead, take a breather. Hes been dancing nonstop. Steve yeah. Hes been dancing while hes wearing a suit. [ light laughter ] jimmy we would never, ever, ever do it one more time. [ applause ] lets try [ cheers and applause ] heres one from marty fines. Hey, jimmy. Im a big fan of podcasts. I think it would be fun if there was a podcast hosted by two people who work at your show. Do you think you could make that happen . Thats a great idea, and we think it sounds fun, too. So we went ahead and recorded the First Episode of our new podcast, the tariq and adler show, starring our very own Tariq Trotter from the roots and one of our writers, jonathan adler. Now [ laughter ] keep in mind [ applause ] keep in mind these two barely know each other and have rarely spoken aside from an awkward head nod in the hallway. [ laughter ] right, guys . Yep. Heres a clip of the podcast. Tariq hey, whats going on . Im tariq. And this is adler. Tariq and welcome to the tariq and adler show. [ laughter ] do your kids have any pets uh, pets . Tariq pets . Pets . [ laughter ] no. Like, if im flipping around on tv, and seinfeld is on. Tariq right. Yeah. Like, ill stop and thats what ill watch. Tariq i will not stop. No . [ laughter ] tariq nope. No. Is there a show that has that for you, where youre flipping around and you see it . Tariq naked and afraid. [ laughter ] really . Tariq yeah. Are they naked the whole time . Tariq yeah. I mean, unless you make clothes from, like, leaves or, you know, you have a burlap sack that you can kinda cover yourself with. Oh, interesting. If a game of volleyball broke out and its shirts and skins, i would definitely say i gotta be on shirts. Would you care . Does that even cross your mind . Do you even care which side youre on . Tariq listen, if a game of volleyball broke out, im out of there. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that was pretty good, right there. Tariq and adler. [ applause ] thats my favorite line in the history of comedy. If a game of volleyball broke out, i am out of there. [ laughter ] oh, my gosh. I was crying laughing, hearing that one this morning. Oh, gosh. Thank you for that. This last one is from bill schpep. Steve oh, bill schpep. Jimmy yep. [ laughter ] bill schpep. Steve schpep. God bless him. The schpep family. Jimmy yeah. Steve schpep. Jimmy schpep. Steve schpep. Jimmy bill schpep. [ laughter ] youre not even trying anymore. Steve yeah. Yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy hey, jimmy, i love freestyle rapping and i also love random objects. Is there any way you can combine the two . Actually, its funny that you should bring that up, because the other day i was watching this guy on youtube. His name is afro. Hes unbelievable, hes amazing at freestyle rapping. We actually invited him here to the show to take part in a new bit called box of freestyle. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome afro [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you. Thank you very much for being here. I appreciate it. Thank you. Yep. All right. Afro, next to me is a box filled with some random objects. In a second, the roots will lay down a beat. And one at a time ill pick up an object and youll have to freestyle about that. And you havent seen these, we rehearsed with different objects, so this is all real. You think you can do that . Cool. Jimmy yeah. Okay. [ laughter ] ready . Roots . Take it away. Yo yo listen volleyball ball ill eat all trials to holler off as i do an audience jimmy fallon feel like a little person hanging from my medallion afro the black stallion listen i got to go back on the barn pineapple rhyme snapple to trapple rhyme apple to find a way the rhyme snappin now i try and back to the high action high fraction high panicking thats how i do it let me turn the thug down a little now this a cowboy boot this a trialed old suit without the truth without the proof cause afro straight be the truth rapping in the chrome microphone grabbin the throne decide the song holds at the top rhyme is so rapid attackin all these foes how i do it Steering Wheel thats how i go to the freeway on the street breezing i know the fro go on a replay relay elay three seater lets see the dj thats how i do it rockin roofs blockin shooters talking shoes when we shootin often choo choo train the two truths fade to shoot through to few yous brang who strange with loose change how i do it now its just to get the notice get to know anyhow i got the graduation and now i gotta go peace. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy come on how do you do that . How do you do that . [ cheers and applause ] give it up for afro that is all the time we have for audience suggestion box. Stick around. Well be back with jay leno that was awesome [ cheers and applause ] take on the unexpected with a car that could stop for you. Nissan safety shield technologies, available in the altima, sentra and maxima. Innovative sonicare technology with up to 27 more brush movements versus oral b. Get healthier gums in 2 weeks guaranteed. Innovation and you. Philips sonicare. Save when you buy the most loved rechargeable toothbrush brand in america. whistle now go left, left, left, left. Run to old navy for activewear from 5. 00 and up to 50 off the entire store. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we are joined right now by one of the greatest standup comedians of all time, as well as one of the greatest talk show hosts of all time. Lets give a warm tonight show welcome to mr. Jay leno, ladies and gentlemen [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey the one and only. Thank you so much for wow, thanks for having me here. Its great fun. Jimmy oh, please. I loved the monologue we love doing the rodney runs. Thats a kind of a tribute to rodney dangerfield. Jimmy yeah. Rodney would pound the hey, ill tell you one more. Its so bad. So thats what we do. We just started doing that. Its a lot of fun. Jimmy its the greatest thing. Thank you for doing that. Last time i talked to you, we had some good stories about you being on the road. Right. Jimmy because the road is tough, right . You know, the road is see, this is a pet peeve of mine. Comics, bitching and moaning. The road sucks. I only got and i used to be that way until something happened. One day i was working in reno. I was making no money, and i was feeling sorry for myself. I used to eat every day the 99 cent buffet at one of the cheap casinos. Jimmy sure, absolutely. So, i saw a side of show business. I went into this casino. In there, in the middle of the casino theres a boxing ring. Whats going on here . And the guy in a tuxedo, ladies and gentlemen, the fight of the century. On this side is a dwarf. [ laughter ] its not a derogatory term. Dwarf. And this side is a kangaroo. [ laughter ] and the kangaroo has boxing gloves on. The kangaroo has got a cape. Jimmy what . And there are handlers around the kangaroo, squirting water in his hair, and doing this to the kangaroo. [ laughter ] jimmy what . And meanwhile the dwarf is just sitting in the corner. I go, whats this . So the ring master goes, ladies and gentlemen, the fight of the century, let it begin boom so the dwarf goes out like this. Come on, mr. Kangaroo come on, man and the kangaroo, they got him on a choke chain. Two guys now, the dwarf knows this is an act. The kangaroo has no idea. [ laughter ] so the kangaroos guys went and the lead it, and the kangaroo goes boom i mean, a punch so fast. Boom the dwarf slides across the room [ laughter ] he gets up. He has a big, red welt. Haha, you missed me, mr. Kangaroo meanwhile the two handlers squirt the kangaroo with water. And they give him a treat for punching the guy. [ light laughter ] they lead him out again. Boom hits him again. Dwarf goes down. Kangaroo gets up again. Dwarf gets up again, goes over to the kangaroo. Now, they just let the kangaroo go. The kangaroo goes out boom, boom, boom, boom, boom just pounds this dwarf jimmy what is going on . Hes out cold. Hes out cold. They bring the kangaroo back to the corner. They raise his arm like this. They give him his treat. They squirt him with water. Everybody is applauding the kangaroo. The dwarf is lying there like [ laughter ] and then the ring master heres the horrible part. [ laughter ] heres the horrible part. The ring master moves the clock and says, next show, 40 minutes. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy what in the world . I dont want to hear, banned bitch. I dont want anybody bitching about how bad the world is. No matter how bad the road is, youre not getting punched in the face by a kangaroo every 40 minutes. Every 40 minutes. Bam jimmy depressing. Thats absolutely depressing. Thats show business [ laughter ] so, when youre sitting in your hotel room jimmy oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause ] exactly, exactly. Jimmy oh, my goodness. Exactly. Jimmy well, you told us some great road stories last time. cause a lot of the clubs were owned theyre mafia run. Theres no mafia. Jimmy no, no. Of course not. Yeah. Well, you know, now theyre all run by, like, the Marriott Corporation or Something Like that. But, back in the day, they used to have the boys used to run the clubs. Jimmy wiseguys. And there was a guy named jimmy the weasel who owned some clubs. Jimmy it sounds like a a great guy. Had some clubs in new york. And he flies me in. Okay, and im with my wife. And these two guys pick us up at the airport, and they have suits are made out of, like, sofa material. You know, just [ laughter ] you know what i mean . Jimmy i know exactly what youre talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were in, like, a a 66 cadillac, you know. And my wife is in the back going, this is really scary. I said honey and these two guys are driving us, you know. So now, im, like we flew into laguardia, and i say to my wife, you know, honey, if were going in to the city tonight, i might need a piece. So the goon in the front hears me, goes, oh, mr. Leno, here, please. Here take had gun here, no problem. [ laughter ] and he hands me a gun. I go, im only kidding. He goes, no, no. Its got no numbers or nothing. [ laughter ] he said, dont worry about it. If you dont use it, throw it in the gutter, put it in the dumpster. Whatever it is, its got no numbers or nothing. Just wipe it off and throw it away. I said, im not no, i want you to have it. Okay, now im Walking Around new york with a gun. I have a gun in my pocket. [ laughter ] jimmy come on so then, im working this club, and there is a the bouncer who had picked me up every night, his name was antny. Not anthony. Antny. Jimmy oh, i know antny. Antny. Antny. Antny. Okay, big guy, he picks me up. He said, you italian, right . Hey, im italian too. You know. [ laughter ] thats monday. Tuesday, he picks me up. Heads all wrapped in bandages. I go, antny, what happened . He said, last night, i went back to the club after i dropped you off, and i got in a a fight with a guy. The guy cut my ear off. I said, oh, jeez. What did you do with your ear . He said, i took it home, you know. I live with my mother. My mother put it against my head and wrapped the bandage and said, give it about a week until it takes. [ laughter ] so i said [ laughter and applause ] so i said to him, you know i said, antny i said, antny, youre not a a plant. [ laughter ] jimmy til it takes your ear. You cant water your ear, and then, its gonna suddenly grow a new ear. He goes, wait, you calling my mother a liar . Jimmy no, no, antny. You realize youre dealing with psychopaths. Jimmy no, no. Exactly. I said, no, no. Day two by day three its winter time. Im in a closed car with rotting ear. The smell of the rotting ear just the smell of the rot i said, finally on friday, i said, antny, you got to throw the ear away. Its all wrinkled up. Its all black. Its awkward. You cant use the ear anymore. Its like a nightmare. Jimmy van gogh. Yeah, exactly. Jimmy i want to talk about this, because this is dangerous stuff. Your show, and ill show the clip, but well talk about this. Man, this is one of the craziest oh, yeah, this is funny. Jimmy well get back. When we come back. Jimmy well talk with jay leno. Come on. More when we get back. [ cheers and applause ] buy an eligible galaxy device and get a free gear vr Virtual Reality headset. Belvitlike the hottest guy are fat the office. 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Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Raise your expectations. Ask your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, control is possible. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back. Were here with the great jay leno, everybody. Right here is [ cheers and applause ] his hit series, jay lenos garage, kicked off season two tonight. It airs every wednesday at 10 00 p. M. On cnbc. Congratulations on this show. Well, thanks. Its a lot of fun. And you know, the great thing is i dont have to deal with publicists. Its fabulous. [ laughter ] jimmy its a different show. No, you just call a a celebrity. You go, look, i dont care about your cocaine bust. I dont care about your divorce. Jimmy yeah. I dont care how your movie did. We just want to talk cars and motorcycles. Great [ light laughter ] jimmy lets just do that. People just show up. Jimmy youve got great people showing up. You have seinfeld. Which was fantastic. Seinfeld was there. Jimmy joe biden was a cool one. Vice President Joe Biden its a great story. His dad, when he got married in 1967, 1966, gave him a 67 corvette. Joe still has it. And hes never driven it, because he is Vice President of the united states. Jimmy they dont want him driving around in a corvette. We got it running. And we got and i called general colin powell, who is a a republican. Hes a corvette guy. So i got him and biden to race. [ light laughter ] i mean really race. I mean, biden was and the secret service, slow biden down slow biden down [ laughter ] get out there. Slow biden down. Jimmy somebody call swagalicious. [ laughter ] yeah, exactly, yeah. Secret service is going because biden is sliding this 60yearold 40 or 50yearold corvette back and forward. I mean, hilarious. So, should be fun. Jimmy do you get nervous behind these things or no . No, no. You get nervous when i take you for a ride on my 60yearold motorcycle. Jimmy i do, i do. I took jimmy for a ride in a a 80yearold motorcycle. [ screams ] [ laughter ] jimmy i wasnt like that. It was close, but yeah, not that high pitched. [ light laughter ] man, oh, man. I get nervous watching these things. And this is all real. Were about to show this clip. What this clip is, there was a car in the 60s called the [ light laughter ] jimmy im getting nervous getting ready for the clip. Its called the hemi under glass. It was a 66 barracuda that had a huge hemi engine in the trunk. So when you floored it, the front end would come up. We went for a ride. Unfortunately, we crashed. Jimmy a ride, yeah. But luckily, we had cameras in the car. So we caught the whole crash on tape. Jimmy lets take look at the car crash. Were going to see this two times from both inside and outside the car. Okay. Jimmy this is season two of jay lenos garage. Check this out. [ engine revving ] dammit. You all right . [ laughter ] [ engine revving ] dammit. Are you all right . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] you okay . Jimmy im okay. Yeah. Trying to kill me . Jimmy yeah. Thats insane. Ill take you for a ride when you come out. Jimmy no, thanks yeah, ill take you for a a ride. Jimmy but the best is, what do you say at the end . You go, my wife is going to kill me. My wife is going to kill me. [ laughter ] jimmy our thanks to jay leno, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy jay lenos garage. Youre the best, buddy. Thank you, pal. Jeff goldblum joins us after the break. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thats not fair, he should give you your rollerblades back. And, shes back. Storm coming . A very dangerous cheese storm. Presenting the American Express blue cash everyday card with cash back on this. Mouth toys. That really takes me back. Cash back on this. 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He gives a hundred and ten percent im confident this 10 can boost your market share. Feel me lois . Im feeling you. Boom look at that pie chart. The ready for you alert, only at laquinta. Com. Whatcha gonna do when you get outta here . Im gonna have some fun what do you consider fun . Fun, natural fun. Yeah, we rocking right now. Its a party over here. Hey im in heaven owww. Trolling for a gig with cant blame you. Its a drone you control with your brain, which controls your thumbs, which control this joystick. No, im actually over at the ge booth. Were creating the operating system for industry. Its called predix. Its gonna change the way the world works. Ok, im telling my brain to tell the drone to get you a copy of my resume. Umm, maybe keep your hands on the controller. Look out ohhhhhhhhhh. You know what, im just gonna email it to you. Yeah thats probably safer. Ok, cool. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is an Emmy Awardnominated actor starring in the upcoming summer blockbuster film Independence Day resurgence, which opens in theaters and imax 3d friday, june 24th. Please welcome the very talented and charming Jeff Goldblum, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, chucky ducky thats what im talking about. Chucky ducky. Oh, my god. Jimmy Jeff Goldblum is here. Look at you. You look fantastic. Do you think so . Thank you. Jimmy you always do. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for saying. Get out of there. You you look fantastic. Jimmy no, no. I have to talk to you about this, because last time ive seen you, since ive seen you, you are now a first time father. You have a baby boy. A baby boy, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you very much. Jimmy its the best thing ever, right . Its the best. You have a couple of jimmy two little girls. Isnt it great . Jimmy yeah. We have, charlie is his name. Jimmy oh, thats good. Charlie ocean. Jimmy Charlie Ocean . Yes. Jimmy thats cool. You think so . Jimmy oh, yeah. Good. Its not too celebrity celebrity gibberish jimmy no, no. Charlie ocean goldblum. Charlie ocean goldblum. Jimmy yeah. And he was born on the fourth of july. On Independence Day. Jimmy this is just a movie ploy. No, no, no. [ laughter ] he really jimmy honey, hurry up and have that baby right now. Trust me. We really did. Jimmy thats amazing. We were shooting Independence Day in albuquerque and it was the due date and she had it. Jimmy thats unbelievable. Heres the picture of you and your little guy right there. Oh, yeah. Look at him. [ audience aws ] jimmy look at that guy i mean, really. Jimmy look at that guy. Look at that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah [ applause ] oh, my god. Jimmy its the greatest thing. Thank you, thank you. Jimmy how do you but you look fantastic. Youre not losing sheep. Youre in great shape. Thank you very much. Jimmy do you work out . Do you have a routine . I have a little routine. I have things i do. I do cardio and kind of things. But i do a thing, ive never talked about this publicly. And ill teach it to you if you like. [ cheers and applause ] so this is absolutely true. Ill teach you something. Jimmy okay. Its, you know, ive been doing something you know, derived from yoga since long before you were born. And now ive pruned it down to a little thing in the morning that do i each morning. Its my own thing. Ive never shown anyone. My wife sees and it makes fun of it. Jimmy okay. But, its a few moves. Heres the first thing. Ill show you three things. I take off my glasses. I put this middle finger jimmy you take your glasses off . Well, thats the first thing. [ light laughter ] i put this middle finger in that ear. Believe it or not. No ones ever i made this part up, too. Jimmy yeah. And then i take this hand there. And i go like this. Like that. Yeah. You look to the side. You look up. And it cracks. It does a nice crack for me right there. Jimmy yeah. And then do i the other side. Like that. Like that. You know, thats one thing. Do you feel anything from that at all . Jimmy sure. [ laughter ] okay. You dont have to just say that. Okay, ill show you two ill show you two other things. Jimmy might as well just say yes. Well, you know. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. Ill show you two other things. What got me into this is i enjoyed the cracking. Like id say, that would crack my neck. And i enjoyed that. I dont know if youre a a cracker any place. Jimmy i love cracks. [ laughter ] good cracks. You dont get good cracks anymore. Really . Jimmy no. I used to get a crack, but i dont so much anymore. But sometimes i do. Jimmy yeah, yeah. If youre lucky. If youre lucky. Jimmy yeah, yeah. Nobody showed me this. Now look at this. I used to kind of do this. You have to i dont know how it will work out. But i did this and then i would go mmm, mmm. And i just thrust a little bit, yes. [ laughter ] its a very subtle jimmy yeah, yeah. And i would get a crack. Im no anatomist, but i dont know where it came from. Jimmy what are you doing . What are you doing . Well, im just kind of jimmy how do you do that . Its like a half thrust and a half kegel, i guess. [ laughter ] i dont know. You know . And i would get, if it was successful and by this time, ive got my glasses back on. If it was successful, i think somewhere in the pubic bone or something i would get a and it would feel very good. [ laughter ] jimmy if thats not a meme tomorrow, then i dont know whats happening with the world. [ laughter ] and i was naked. I always do this naked. [ laughter ] jimmy oh my god, no. The only other thing i do is this. [ laughter ] jimmy no, no. Lets get through this. Anyway, thats it. Jimmy we have to talk about the movie. Lets talk about the movie. Jimmy lets talk about the movie. My god. My god in heaven, all right. Jimmy we have to talk about the film. Independence day resurgence. Jimmy yeah. Get out of your head and start thinking about Independence Day resurgence. Congrats again. Thanks. Jimmy big huge action movie. You are the scientist here to save the world. Yes. Jimmy from aliens. Yup. Jimmy there you go. Thats it. [ light laughter ] and people who have seen it, this is only anecdotal. But people who know the first one, press people weve been talking about this say, i loved the first one. And everything i wanted this one to be it was and more. Thats what they say. Dont go by me, but thats what they say. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its a fun summer movie. I want to show a clip. Heres Jeff Goldblum in Independence Day resurgence. Take a look at this. Look, the roswell crash in 47. The farmer who made contact drew the same circle. Every time i interview one of my patients and show them this, they all expressed the same emotion. Fear. And i dont think its a a circle. The night the ship turned on. I experienced the strongest vision ive ever had. And i drew this. Thats incredible. How did you decipher so much of their language . They were hunting us. We had learn how to hunt them. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Jeff Goldblum, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] Independence Day resurgence hits theaters and imax 3d friday, june 24th. Music from wale when we come back. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] whistle now go left, left, left, left. Run to old navy for activewear from 5. 00 and up to 50 off the entire store. Its a taste so bold, yet so smooth, it could only be called, black silk, from folgers. A taste you could enjoy, fresh brewed, or one cup at a time. Black silk, from folgers. Innovative sonicare technology with up to 27 more brush movements versus oral b. Get healthier gums in 2 weeks guaranteed. Innovation and you. Philips sonicare. Save when you buy the most loved rechargeable toothbrush brand in america. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy fantastic. All night long. Thank you, bruce. Thank you, sonny. Tonights musical guest is a a grammynominated rapper whose new album, shine is due this fall. Performing his new single, my pyt, with a little help from the roots, give it up for wale [ cheers and applause ] hey hey lets go she a couple couple couple years younger but she badder than a mother though [ cheers and applause ] bad badder than a mother though hands up get up come on she got her own she dont need no ticket hey she get it yeah she got it so you know im going to get her she my mypyt oh she my mypyt oh she my mypyt oh she my pretty young thing and i do anything for her i want to love you stand up pretty young thing you need some loving from a real one hey hey i want to love you eh pretty young thing hey you need some loving hey and im a real one real one i said hold up whats up what it do i aint trying to do too much but come through cartier frames too much but its cool the only thing strange they wont get off you say you want a rider well i got a ticket and later we can hide out try and get missin now im all up in your mind now cool thats how i get you but you cant figure mine out see im quite different hey a james bond with a Saint Laurent fetish and thank god i never had a baby mother either snapchat shortie flash that for me clap back at like thats not for you give her 50 feet fell in love in a week she penetrating my mind i penetrate that physique i would delete digging our chemistry no limit to me and she come give me kiss on the cheek pretty thang hands up she a couple couple couple years younger but she badder than a mother though bad badder than a mother though hands up got her own she dont need no ticket hey she get it yeah she got it so you know im going to get her she my mypyt oh she my mypyt oh she my mypyt oh like that she my pretty young thing and i do anything for her i want to love you eh pretty young thing you need some loving from a real one i want to love you pretty young thing you need some loving and im a real one this ones for you hold the set down this ones for you my pretty young girl toast to you and i this ones for you i just wanna see you shine shine baby nothing make a man feel better than a woman hey queen with the crown but for now its a birkin theres a few things that for certain my lady we can make war or make babies im a rider and a ticket thats comes with good planning and channeling your ambition i know this fat what that properly seen the vision that use to move keys he khaled a little different another one khaled another one key another one when she put it down on me i put them numbers up facts i love that jawn woo she 21 she old enough to eat maybe could be my lunch stay low and build with her i coachella chill with her i got colorful lyrics we twinning so every other color kylie come out with i get them she a couple couple couple years younger but she badder than a mother though bad badder than a mother though lets go got her own she dont need no ticket here we go she get it yeah she got it so you know im going to get it she my mypyt oh she my mypyt oh she my mypyt oh she my pretty young thing my turn hands up and i do anything for her i want to love you eh pretty young thing you need some loving eh from a real one eh i want to love you eh pretty young thing hey you need some loving uh and im a real one i said hold up whats up whats your name i shoulda ask the verse before dont throw shade a lot of girls do too much for that fame but i could get to know you just from your page hit me on the snapchat [ cheers and applause ] mmg shine baby self made 4 i see you fat boy [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wale my pyt is on itunes now. Well be right back. You cant get my jimmy hit my snapchat. Oh, you cant do that. You cant do that . Jimmy you cant do the [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thank you to jay leno, Jeff Goldblum, wale [ cheers and applause ] Bruce Hornsby and sonny emory right there, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots from philadelphia, pennsylvania. Thats the roots. Stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight martin short. From o. J. made in america, director ezra edelman. Comedian fortune feimster. Featuring the 8g band with john tempesta. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, Seth Meyers Seth good evening, everybody. Im seth meyers. This is late night. Hows everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. The latest polls show Hillary Clinton now leads donald trump by 12 points nationally. I guess shes getting some traction from her new slogan, come with me, if you want to live. [ laughter ]
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