[ light laughter ] this is what it did to a smart person. [ laughter ] by the time youre out of office, youre going to look like the toxic avenger. [ laughter ] President Trump said yesterday that being president has been a big burden on his family. Yes, but somehow we manage, said melania from her penthouse in new york. [ light laughter ] in an interview today, President Trump questioned why america fought the civil war, even worse, then he questioned whom america fought in the civil war. [ light laughter ] wait, i know this one. Was it china . [ laughter ] thats right. President trump questioned why america fought the civil war. You know, at this rate the only way trump is going to get a second term is if hes held back. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] all fs . I flunked everything . [ cheers and applause ] i got a bplus in phys ed. [ light laughter ] President Trump published an oped in the Washington Post on saturday to promote the accomplishments of his first 100 days in office. But in retrospect, he probably bought a little too much space. [ light laughter ] Southwest Airlines has announced it will no longer overbook its flights while united says it will now match up flight attendants and passengers by weight class to make for fairer fights. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] good progress. According to the reuters, President Trump has a button on his desk that he uses to order a coke. Of course, he thinks it orders a Nuclear Strike but once he gets the coke in his hand, he forgets what he was so worked up about. [ laughter and applause ] scientists have developed a new robotic drill that could conduct brain surgery in two and a half minutes, because thats what youre aiming for when you get brain surgery, the speed record. [ light laughter ] today was may day, although honestly ive been saying that every day since the inauguration. Mayday mayday [ cheers and applause ] and finally, an arizona man was recently arrested for smuggling 67 pounds of marijuana. For reference, heres what 67 pounds of marijuana looks like. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, weve got a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] you know her from nbcs superstore our friend, America Ferrera is back on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] always a delight to talk to her. Also, hes in a hilarious new movie with amy schumer and goldie hawn, snatched, Ike Barinholtz, my dear friend. [ cheers and applause ] Ike Barinholtz is joining us. So were going to have a really good time tonight. Before we get to all of that, the last few days of Donald Trumps presidency have been very revealing. He has, among other things, feuded with the press, admitted that being president is harder than he thought, praised authoritarian rulers, and made bizarre comments about the civil war. For more on this its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth as you may recall, trumps positions on most issues during the campaign werent all that clear. But there was one thing he was very clear about, and that was that being president would be easy. Were going to make America Great again. Its going to be easy. Its going to be easy. Its so its going to be easy. Believe me, the jobs are coming back, folks. Thats going to be so easy. Youre going to have such Great Health Care at a tiny fraction of the cost, and its going to be so easy. They dont understand it. They said, but how do you get them to pay . I said, its so easy. And you understand. Just rely on me. Okay . So easy. Thats so easy. Seth people who are actually reliable dont have to say the words rely on me. [ light laughter ] if you ask your buddy to pick you up from the airport and he says rely me, get ready for dinner at cinnabon. [ light laughter ] of course the story of the first 100 days has been trumps child like naivete colliding with reality. In fact, trump asked, without shame, admitted the basic aspects of the job have turned out to be harder than he thought. Like health care or chinas relationship with north korea. Its an unbelievably complex subject. Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated. [ light laughter ] mr. Trump said, he told his chinese counterpart he believed beijing could easily take care of the north korea threat. Mr. Xi then explained the history of china and korea. Mr. Trump said, and im quoting the president here, after listening for ten minutes, i realized its not so easy. [ light laughter ] seth the president is literally being tutored by foreign leaders. [ light laughter ] and ater he taught me about the history of china and north korea, he helped me with my math homework, which was very [ light laughter ] and while hes at it, maybe president xi could give trump an American History lesson too, because today when trump was asked about his supposed model for the presidency, Andrew Jackson, he went on a bizarre tangent about the civil war and jackson, who died 16 years before the war started. I mean, had Andrew Jackson been a little bit later, you wouldnt have had the civil war. He was really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to the civil war. He said, theres no reason for this. People dont realize the civil war you think about it, why . People dont ask that question, why was there the civil war . Why could that one not have been worked out . [ light laughter ] seth yeah. [ laughter and applause ] people people dont ask that question. [ cheers and applause ] no one ever asked why was there the civil war. [ light laughter ] and who can forget those searing letters from soldiers on the battlefield . Dearest elizabeth, i write to you from the front lines where the civil war rages on for whatever reason. [ light laughter ] today i bayoneted my owner brother, for what purpose, he cried out and i, of course could only respond, i do not know. Nobody knows. [ light laughter ] general grant informed us today we will be marching on to gettysburg, why . Whats there i asked. [ light laughter ] he shrugged, confused. Who knows he said and cited the famous words of our current president , Andrew Jackson, theres no reason for this. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so trump clearly, clearly does not have a firm grasp on the basic aspects of being president , let alone basic facts about American History. And now hes essentially admitting that hes in over his head telling a reporter that he didnt expect the job of president to be this hard. I loved my previous life. I loved my previous life. I have so many things going. I actually, this is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier. I thought it was more of a im a details oriented person, i think you would say that. But i do miss my old life. This i like to work, so thats not a problem, but this is actually more work. [ laughter ] seth you thought the presidency would be easier than being a Game Show Host . [ laughter ] theres a reason Abraham Lincoln is on the 5 instead of alex trebek. [ laughter and applause ] although i have to say, i have to say that this, this is the most absurd part of trumps answer. Im a detailsoriented person. I think you would say that. Seth no. [ laughter ] i would not say that. [ light laughter ] no one thinks details are your strong suit. [ light laughter ] and im not even talking about the Little Details im talking about things like why did the civil war happen or you know, which country did i just bomb . Weve Just Launched 59 missiles heading to iraq. Headed to syria . Yes, heading towards syria. [ laughter ] seth yes, yes, syria, but you know, iraq, spoiler alert. [ laughter and applause ] now now, you might think you might think a president as unqualified as trump would show some humility, instead, he spent the last few days as usual, attacking the media. Today, he abruptly ended an interview with cbss John Dickerson after once again, making his baseless claim that then president obama had him surveilled but refusing to provide any evidence. All dickerson did was try to get trump to explain what his own words meant, but trump was not having it. You saw what happened with surveillance and i think that was inappropriate. Whats that mean, sir . You can figure that out yourself. Well, i the reason i ask is you called him sick and bad . Look, you can figure it out yourself. But you stand by that claim about how i dont stand by anything i just you can take it the way you want. [ light laughter ] but im asking you. Because you dont want it to be fake news. I want to hear it from President Trump. You dont have to ask me. You dont have to ask me. Why not . Because i have my own opinions, you can have your own opinions. But i want to know your opinions, youre the president of the united states. Thats enough, thank you. [ light laughter ] thank you very much. Seth you know, dramatic exits are definitely less dramatic when you stay in the same room and just sit down. [ laughter ] you cant fire me, i quit. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] maybe trump is just frustrated by the fact that despite his many promises he has very little to show for his first 100 days. In fact, his only real accomplishment seems to be turning the oval office into something of a man cave. A reporter for the Financial Times relayed this anecdote from a recent interview with trump. Sitting across from donald trump in the oval office, my eyes are drawn to a Little Red Button on a box that sits on his desk this isnt a Nuclear Button, is it, i joke, pointing. No, no. Everyone thinks it is, trump says on cue. Before leaning over and pressing it to order some cokes. Everyone does get a little nervous when i press that button. [ light laughter ] no, no, no, thats not the Nuclear Button. The Nuclear Button is right next to it. Its also small and red, but i remember which one it is because its on the right, and i have the right to use nuclear weapons. Of course, i also have the right to have a coke in the middle of the day because im the president and i dont have to worry about it the sugar because i have the best dentist. [ light laughter ] i mean, this guy, hes amazing and hes right about everything, which is why i keep a right button to the right of my coke button that calls my dentist. Do you want me to call him right now . [ explosions ] [ laughter ] [ applause ] so trump doesnt seem to have much knowledge of or interest in things like governing or American History. But theres one think trumps very interested in, and thats his own electoral victory. Because when trump called reporters into the oval office to discuss the accomplishments of his first 100 days, the only actual actual accomplishment he had to offer was the act of becoming president. And accomplishment he bragged about in the middle of a conversation about chinese president , xi jinping. We were talking as i mentioned earlier about president xi and that relationship, and then he sort of interrupted himself and handed out this map of the Electoral College and said that these were the latest figures of the areas in the country that he had won in 2016. And there were three of us in the interview as i said, and he had a copy for each of us. I think he just wanted to relish in the fact that this map looks good for him. And he said, you know, the red is obviously us. And the red are the areas in the country that he won. Seth and in fact i even colored in the map myself. [ laughter ] and if you noticed, i stayed within the lines which everyone says is the hardest part. [ light laughter ] and i did it all in under a hundred days. Now, as troubling as that that is, trump has also spent a lot of time lately praising authoritarian rulers with terrible human rights records. For example, he recently released a statement congratulating turkeys president for referendum that gave him expansive new powers and in interviews over the weekend trump praised north Koreas Kim Jongun multiple times, calling him a pretty smart cookie and saying, if it would be appropriate for me to meet with him, i would absolutely. I would be honored to do it. Youd be honored . Hes very misunderstood. Youd like him, we should call him. I think its this button. [ explosions ] [ applause ] and kim jongun wasnt the only wasnt the only authoritarian trump praised this week. And on saturday he spoke with president Rodrigo Duterte of the philippines. Dutertes been accused of running death squads and has bragged that he has personally murdered people. Like when he said, quote, i will pick you up in a helicopter to manila and i throw you out on the way. Ive done it before. Why would i not do it again . Its stories like that that earned duterte the nickname, united airlines. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] now, duterte has since claimed he was joking. Nonetheless despite his dismal human rights record, the white house issued a statement saying, trump and duterte had a very friendly conversation and the President Trump invited president duterte to the white house. So if youre a journalist covering the white house when duterte visits and hear donald trump say this lets give them a helicopter ride, okay . [ light laughter ] seth run [ laughter and applause ] so to recap a president whos in over his head is fighting with the media, remising about his Election Night victory, inviting authoritarian rulers to the white house and also, maybe doesnt know why the civil war happened. Donald, do you still stand by your claim that the presidency would be easy. I dont stand by anything. [ light laughter ] seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with more late night, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] engine revving screams man woo hoo join in on the fun and cash in on the deals at the chevy 4th of july sales event. Man this is a fast car. Man 2 oh, boy enjoy the ride while making no Monthly Payments for the rest of the summer on these exciting chevy vehicles. Or, for a limited time, get 0 financing for 72 months on these 2017 models. Or get 20 below msrp on 2017 impala premier and sonic lt. Find new roads at the chevy 4th of july sales event. 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Zoe brought over some limearitas to avas rooftop and thats when we knew it was going to be one of those nights. Thats elyse busting out her dance move from summer of 08. Looks like were staying here tonight. Limearita. Make it a margarita moment. Limearita. When better chickens ares hatched, we will hatch them. Its why today all of the tyson chicken that bears his name will be raised with no antibiotics ever. Every nugget, every strip and every drumstick. Because everyone deserves something a little better. Keep it real. Keep it tyson. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Please, give it up for the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] also sitting in with us this week, hes an innovative drummer from the brooklynbased band paris monster. Their latest single aint no movin me can be found on itunes and bandcamp. Com. Josh dion is here. Thank you so much for being here. [ cheers and applause ] really thrilled to have you. So here at late night, every night, i deliver a monologue. That monologue is comprised of jokes written by a diverse team of writers. As a result, a lot of jokes come across my desk that due to me being a straight, white male would be difficult for me to deliver. But we dont think that should stop from you enjoying them. So wed like to share them with you now in a segment we call jokes seth cant tell. [ cheers and applause ] seth these are two of our writers. Amber, jenny. Im black. And im gay. And were both women. Seth and im not. So heres how this works, ill read the set ups for these jokes and amber and jenny will read the punch lines. Here it goes. A washington, d. C. , lesbian bar closed this month after 45 years in operation. A lesbian bar is like a regular bar but with a longer line for darts. [ laughter ] seth okay, okay. Cool, cool. The library of congress recently acquired a rare photo of Young Harriet tubman. It looks like exactly like a photo of old Harriet Tubman because black dont crack. [ laughter and applause ] seth Marvel Comics recently revealed a new lesbian super hero who will fight evil aliens. As opposed to a regular lesbian who will fight anybody. [ laughter ] seth jenny, i cant imagine you in a fight. You dont seem scary at all. [ laughter ] seth the cw network is currently developing a show about an africanamerican super hero. He shows up late to every crime and then gets arrested for it. [ laughter and applause ] seth two gay penguins at a zoo in china have begun stealing eggs from other penguins in an attempt to become fathers. While two lesbian penguins are writing a folk song about it. [ laughter ] seth a California Elementary School was placed on lockdown recently after a black bear was spotted wandering around the parking lot. Meanwhile, white bears Walking Around all over the place. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] seth according to a recent article, 2 of americans are vegan. While 100 of lesbians are vajitraian. Seth jenny [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] im sorry. I should have said dicktose intolerant. [ laughter and applause ] seth yeah, all right with that. Im all right with that. According to a recent study, black americans get less sleep than white americans. Because when you sleep, they get you. [ laughter ] seth amber just kidding. They get you what youre driving. [ laughter ] seth okay, this next joke about latinas. Jenny, youre latina, why dont you tell it . Ehh four jokes a night is my limit, but i brought up a backup latina. Hey, come on out [ cheers and applause ] seth America Ferrera, everybody [ cheers and applause ] all right. You know how this works, america. Here we go. According to a recent report, the city with the lowest number of hispanic residents is jackson, mississippi. And the city with the most hispanic residents and jackson, mississippi. [ laughter and applause ] seth nice job, america. Hey, seth, why dont you just try. Seth no, i dont want to. Come on. Just come on. Seth i feel like if i do ill get in trouble. Awe, come on. Do it. Do it seth okay, okay, okay. Over 20,000 lesbians recently gathered in Southern California for the Worlds Largest allfemale festival. It was called cootchella. [ light laughter ] [ audience ohs ] how dare you seth you told me it would be okay i am shocked you should be ashamed of yourself seth black women and lesbians and latinas are liars [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with this one right here. [ cheers and applause ] im on the phone towel please while other Insurance Companies just see a house. We see the home youve worked really hard for. So why not give it the protection it deserves. First you start with this. These guys. A place like shhh no. Found it and definitely lipton ice tea. 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Create your own tour of italy for a limited time only at olive garden. Do you remember when i took your [photo this morning . , [boy] yea [intern] im afraid i have some terrible news. You have. Bug eyes here come the bugs ahh bugs everywhere uh oh, this little buggy got a lasagna. Seth welcome back, everybody. My first guest is an emmy and golden globe awardwinning actress you know from the film, sisterhood of the travelling pants, and the hit series, ugly betty. Shes currently starring in nbcs superstore. Lets take a look. Oh, thats just thats a grid for recalibrating. Were gonna die in a cloud nine surrounded by diarrhea medicine. Well, you should keep talking so those arent your last words. [ laughter ] seth please welcome back to the show the lovely, the talented America Ferrera, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Im great, how are you . Seth good, you look wonderful as always. So do you. Seth and congratulations on the show. Its a wonderful show. Its a comedy, but you guys also deal with a lot of other real life issues, transgender issues, gun control issues. Is it do you enjoy working on a show that is both funny and also deals with societal issues like that . Totally. I mean, i you know, i grew up on shows like roseanne and cheers and all in the family where, you know, comedies were always like about something. They were rooted in real life. And we have such a diverse cast. People from all different backgrounds racially, but also experiencially. And that lets us have conversaions about jokes that a cast of five white people cant tell. Seth yeah. Just like your little bit. [ light laughter ] seth im very familiar, yeah. [ light laughter ] i feel like there were shows that used to deal with societal issues but because they had an all white cast, it would always have to have a guest star would show up. Like if we want to talk about this, wed have to have, you know, the person outside our demographic would have to show up for an episode. Wed deal with that. But then wed sort of send them on their way. [ light laughter ] like well, we took care of racism, goodbye. [ light laughter ] thats so sad. Seth yeah. Thats very sad. Seth i want to talk about this. The last time you were here, which i thought was very fun. You guys had gone like taken a cast trip to vegas, which was exciting. Yes. Seth you guys rocked it out. But im very sad to hear just year later, you guys are no longer fun. We dont like each other anymore. No, were aging in dog years. Were like now we get together for pajama parties, its like not vegas anymore. We got together for the oscars and all wore our pajamas cause thats how lazy we are now. Seth all right, well thats okay though. You know, you mature. And you guys all have jobs so thats okay to, yeah. Yes, yes. Seth do people then bring their pajamas and change at whoevers house it was . No, you showed up in the pajamas. Seth really . Yeah, yeah. Seth so i guess in l. A. Its just totally normal to walk to your car in pajamas and drive somewhere . [ light laughter ] in l. A. , yeah. You can do whatever. Seth its harder in new york i guess, cause youd have to be in the pajamas on the subway and stuff. [ light laughter ] yeah, but in new york, like no one would think twice in new york, right. Seth no one would think twice, thats right. Thats the difference. In l. A. Fewer people see you, and here, everyone sees you and nobody cares. [ light laughter ] in l. A. , nobody, unless youre like rihanna, no one cares who you are. Seth yeah, so you could wear pajamas. You could wear just the pajama top, you would be fine. [ light laughter ] so, you directed an episode. I did. Seth and you directed an episode that was about your character actually went and confronted an Internet Troll. Yes. Seth and the Internet Troll had a house full of rabbits. Yes. Seth and you tweeted that that was very challenging for you to be around rabbits. I did not know until seth here you are with a bunch of and is that neil casey . Yes, thats neil casey. Seth fantastic actor, funny guy. I did not know until this very scene that i was terrified of rabbits. Seth really . [ laughter ] yeah, i had no idea. I thought, oh, 25 rabbits in a room, ha ha, theyre going to hump like rabbits, like that will be so funny. Turns out instead of humping they tried to kill each other. Seth oh really . Like they go at it and theres no like you cant train a rabbit, like or if they werent welltrained rabbits. [ laughter ] and i didnt realize until i stepped into the room, i dont want to be in this room with 25 rabbits. Seth so you hadnt, it just turns out at this point in your life you had not crossed paths with rabbits . Id never been in a room with 25 rabbits to this point. Seth i guess i havent either, i shouldnt judge you, like, how have you not been in a room wiith 25 rabbits . [ light laughter ] so it was definitely the most challenging day. Just trying to get seth now youre acting and youre directing and you have 25 rabbits. Were you having to yell cut during scenes because the rabbits were scaring you . I would mostly just like, when i yelled, they knew to reset the cameras. Seth when you like, as a director, i know you have to then go in and look at the footage and edit. Were you surprised at how scared you were when you actually watched the footage . Yeah. I was terrified. I ruined like every take. [ light laughter ] and they said, america, you missed the point of this scene. The point of the scene is not that amys afraid of the rabbits. [ light laughter ] and thats like what the whole scene became. Seth so ultimately the social you guys attach for this episode is being afraid of rabbits. Yes, yes. Seth for people who have a lapine fear. [ light laughter ] its real but then people when i said that i was afraid of the rabbits, people online got very mad at me, that i was afaid of the rabbits. Seth so it came full circle because the episode is about Internet Trolls. [ laughter ] there you go, yes. Seth well done. Very well done. I like that. [ applause ] activism has always been a big part of your life. You were at the womens march. The womens march at the day of the inauguration. [ cheers and applause ] day before . Day after. Seth day after . Day after. Seth you were in d. C. You spoke to a crowd of over a Million People, right. Yeah. Seth and youre not donald trumping us. They were actually there, right . Youre not like donald trumping and being like, there were so many people there. They were actually there. [ light laughter ] they were. It was huge. It was the biggest crowd, seth, let me tell you. There were like 1. 2 Million People there. And i had never been in a crowd of 1. 2 Million People. Seth what a year for you. 1. 2 Million People, 25 rabbits. [ light laughter ] like im just bigger and bigger crowds. Seth yeah. And i didnt know what to expect, i dont think anybody did. It was the day after the inauguration and a lot of people were feeling a lot of things and i didnt know what to expect. But, you know, there were times where it felt very you felt the gravitas and you felt the reason why we were there. And then there were times where it felt like this amazing hopeful party. As im sure everyone who went out and marched with hundreds and thousands of people felt. It felt good to know that people were in it together, and it was just infectious. It was an amazing day. Seth you know, obviously i think a lot of people were worried because of the proximity to the inauguration crowd, which obviously was a very different crowd. And yet it seemed incredible peaceful and wonderful. I dont think there was a single arrest or a single altercation in all of d. C. I dont know that for a fact. So another way that im like donald trump. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] no. I might have just made that up. [ applause ] seth you said i think. I said i think. Seth he would have said, there were no arrests. It was amazing. It was the fewest arrests ever i have to build my confidence up. Seth yeah there you go. Youll get there. Ifs early. Its early still. Only 100 days. [ laughter ] anyway, i want to ask about the harness project. Tell us about that. Yes. So harness is an organization i started with my husband and our friend, wilber valderrama. And it was about convening people with front line activists to hear what the authentic stories about was happening in our most vulnerable communities. And so, i think right now is a time where we all fell this unprecedented energy, people want to take action, people want to take part. But its so overwhelming that you dont know where to begin, right . And so where our entry point is just having conversations with the people on the front lines of these communities, telling us what is the most effective way to engage. And so we started in a living room with 75 people and our next meeting was 400 people with these incredible organizations like black lives matter and cair and native american reps from standing rock. So we are trying to continue those conversations and push it out as far and wide through digit content. So people can go to harness. Space to sign up and be a part of the conversation. Seth thats wonderful that youre doing that because i think theres this tendency. Its very easy to sort of watch these rallies, see them on television, and think, oh look at this, this is the resistance. This is progress. And not actually take any steps to be helpful. Absolutely. And you know, i think it starts with education. We have to be willing to admit what we dont know about one another and what we dont yet know about issues. And if you really want to make an impact in a meaningful way, then we have to stop and take the time to listen to one another. And its like showing up, you know, with pencils when what somebody needs is a hammer, you know. So its like, tell me what you need so i can show up with the right goods. Seth feel terrible about bringing you to pencils. [ laughter ] i really needed a hammer, seth. Seth its always such a delight to see you. Thank you so much for being here. [ cheers and applause ] America Ferrera everybody, the Season Finale of superstore will air on thursday at 8 30 pm here on nbc. Well be right back, with Ike Barinholtz, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] liz assumed she could trust her dating site. Liz assumed all dressings were made equal. Assume nothing. Just like the leading brands, these kraft dressings are made with high quality ingredients, at a price you can feel good about. No wonder kraft is so good. 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So he even has the energy to take the long way home. Keep it up, steve dr. Scholls. Born to move. Award winning interface. Award winning design. Award winning engine. The volvo xc90. The most awarded luxury suv of the century. Visit your volvo dealer today and get up to 4,500 in allowances. 60 of women are wearing the w. Experience leaks. Introducing always my fit. Find the number thats right for your flow and panty size on the top of any always pack. The better the fit, the better it protects. Always. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Our next guest is a very funny actor you know from the Mindy Project and the films neighbors and sisters. You can also see him alongside amy schumer and goldie hawn in the upcoming comedy snatch which opens in theaters may 12th. Lets take a look. This is morgan russell. Yes morgan russell, im the one thats been calling about the middleton ladies and their situation down in south america. Lets go get them. Whats the plan . Right, so i told her to contact me once she gets to bogata. Mmhmm. Theres not much more i can do unfortunately, sir. Okay, i imagine that you have some kind of commando squad, maybe like four underground criminals who were tried for a crime they didnt commit mmhmm. And theyve been living in the underground kind of helping people along the way almost. Sir, were you born in the 70s . Yeah. That sounds like the ateam to me. It is ateam. Do you have an ateam . Seth please welcome back to the show our very good friend, Ike Barinholtz, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth hi, buddy. Hi my man. Seth oh, its so good to see you. How are you . Seth are you well . Everything well . Yeah, i miss you. Seth i miss you, too. Hi, guys. [ cheers and applause ] how are you . Thank you. Thank you seth i miss you, too. Youre out in l. A. , im in new york. We dont see each other as much as we used to. Were bicoastal friends. Seth were bicoastal friends. We text a lot. Seth we text a lot. Email sometimes. Seth every now and well get an email. But we keep in contact. Seth we keep in con you were just in atlanta. Hows atlanta . Youre shooting a movie there. How was that . I think its called hotlanta, seth. [ light laughter ] good night, everybody, thank you. [ light laughter ] were down there was our friend dave sasson. Seth yep, a fantastic writer and dear friend. But im doing a movie there with leslie mann and john cena. I get mistaken for john cena a lot. Seth do you . [ light laughter ] i would like to. Seth yeah. I would like to be. Hes very muscular. Seth yeah. Yeah. Seth hes also very kind. Yes, and im weak and neat. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] so, you can see why im trying to get there. Seth but atlantas been good . Its good. Its good. We were there the other day and it was fun. We had a special visitor come. Shut down the airport for a few hours. Ill give you a hint. Hes orange. Seth okay. [ laughter ] and he talks like this. Your trump is good. I like your trump. Its good. You do the kind of thing seth its a laz i do a very lazy trump yeah. I would i dont know what youre talking about. Seth i try to put as much into my impression as he puts into the presidency. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] seth you dont you hating on me. Im sorry, thats a plug for a different show. Oh, my god. Seth so he came down to atlanta he came down to atlanta, and he shut down the airport for a little while. And you know, it bugged me. And i was a big supporter of his until that moment. [ laughter ] seth right. And now im off the trump train. Seth so you play schumers brother. Goldie hawn is your mom in this. Yes, yes. Seth your pronunciation of mama yes seth in the film. In the film, im playing like a hes a big baby. Seth yeah. Hes agoraphobic. He doesnt want to leave his house. So i kind of just started naturally saying to goldie, i was like, mama, mama, mama can i have some more toast, please . And then i watched the movie with my wife and shes like, thats what our daughter calls me. Thats how she literally my daughter days mama. Like shes in madeline. Seth yeah. Like, mama. [ light laughter ] and my wife says, you just stole that from our daughter. She asked if i was going to cut her in on a piece of the movie. And im not going to. Seth i love it. [ light laughter ] you know what im going to do . Im going to take the money i get from the movie and im going to buy you food and shelter and education. [ laughter and applause ] seth roof. You might throw a roof in there. . Roof. Ill throw a roof in there, yes. I pay for me childs food. Seth so this and goldie hawn, have you ever crossed paths with her before . I havent, i havent. Shes like true hollywood royalty. Seth absolute legend. Her stories theyre so good that theres no like like, i cant keep up. Like, shell be like, you know, i remember me and Walter Matthau and gerald ford were in a limousine in 74. And im like, well, one time, me and Hayes Macarthur were with josh meyers and we got lost. [ laughter ] so its hard to compete with the goldie. Seth this film is sort of about a travel disaster. Yes. Seth you have ive known for about 15 years. Yes. Seth youve had i feel like when you get into a taxi, things going wrong. When you get on a subway things go its always a disaster. Seth youve had so many transit disasters. I have. Seth you had you have one of the worst flight stories. I did. I did. Well, we went to amsterdam. Seth yeah, we lived together in amsterdam. Yes. [ light laughter ] [ cheers ] thats right. And i had to fly back home to chicago and i could only fly on, i think it was air kuwait. Seth okay. And i want to mention them because i do get money from them every time. Seth okay. [ laughter ] but i was flying air kuwait and i got on the plane. The minute i got on the plane, the flight had originated somewhere else, and it smelled like feces. Seth yeah, okay. [ laughter ] and there was an older man on the plane, you know, and he lost control. Seth okay. Had a problem. And they didnt take him off the plane. And they just put, like, a plastic bag over the seat, you know. Seth oh which seems bad so im sitting next to the only other american. It was this woman sitting next to me, and she was like, oh, this airline is the worst. [ light laughter ] and i was like, yeah, this is awful. And shes like, the last time i was on this airline, the guy next to me died over the ocean. [ laughter ] i was like, wait, what . What happens when a man dies . Shes like, nothing. They just put a blanket over him. [ laughter ] im like, you sat next to a corpse . Shes like, yeah, for like eight hours. [ laughter ] that cant be. But air kuwait has some great specials if you go to airkuwait. Com. [ laughter and applause ] theyre flying now domestic u. S. So seth yeah, i got you. This, by the way, theyre flying into each other [ light laughter ] and right now theyre doing this. Its not good. Seth but you saw the united story and you were inspired. Well, i decided im going to step up my game financially. Seth uhhuh. Because i dont know if you know that guy settled for an undisclosed amount which seth what do you think the undisclosed when weve had this discussion. 10 million dollars. Seth you think its 10 . Heres what i think. I think tonight im flying tonight and im going to get my as thrown off that plane. Seth okay. [ laughter ] and daddys getting paid. Seth yeah. Yeah. If i were yall, i would check twitter about 10 00 p. M. [ laughter ] and see video of me being, no, with my shirt being pulled off. Seth well i was going to say, ive known you 15 years and ive seen you with your shirt here like 130 times. [ laughter ] but this time, this time im getting paid for it. Im going to buy my own plane. Yeah. Seth i dont know we told this. We shouldnt say who it is. Okay. Seth and were not going to say who it is because you saw a celebrity get dragged off a plane once because right, i dont want to say. Seth dont say who it was. I wont say who it was. Seth but just say that you knew their face. I knew their face. He was a very famous rapper. Seth okay. From the 80s. Thats all im going to say. Seth youve given away more than i did. Two hints, two hints. [ laughter ] seth stop and i was like, i heard he was having a medical problem and they were dragging him off. And i was like, oh, hes going to come right past my aisle. And i was like, dont look, dont look, dont look. And, like, the minute i turned and looked was the minute he went, rahr [ laughter and applause ] and thats how i met icet. [ laughter ] it was not it was not icet. Seth way more than two hints. Oh yeah. But it was bad. It was bad for everyone. Seth but that person is fine. Hes fine now. Hes great. Seth i want to ask, the Mindy Project, youre coming up this is the last season, right . [ cheers ] thank you. [ cheers and applause ] yes. Do you remember do you remember when my character in the Mindy Project was a guest on your show . Seth yeah. And my dog was a guest on the Mindy Project. My character was guest on your show and frisbee the dog was guest on the Mindy Project. Seth and so you worked with frisbee. And how do you i think frisbee is a little uppity bitch. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] she bit me. Seth she bit you every take. Every take she like and i was like and i was kind of like, ah, ive known frisbee for seth and it was not helpful for the story how much frisbee hated you. Frisbee was if she would have read her lines. [ light laughter ] she would have known that we were supposed to be friends and not mortal enemies. Seth i think we carved out about two hours to shoot in about 15 minutes you basically said, i think were good. I think were good. I think we got it. We got it. Seth yeah. Otherwise, if i get bit one more time im going to have to get a shot. Seth yeah. But she was really great. Seth and 100 is how many episodes are you going to end up with . Were going to end up like 120 and its funny. Were doing the table read for the 100th episode, right, and i turn to mindy and im like, god, can you believe you were on two different shows that went at least 100 episodes . She was like, wow. Because she was on the office. Seth right, over 100. And then i thought about it. And i was like, oh, wait, so was i. Because i was on mad tv and then i was on the Mindy Project. And then we made a list for every actor that had been on multiple 100 its like 500 people. [ light laughter ] seth oh, so it wasnt the point is were not special. [ light laughter ] were not good or interesting. Were bad, basic were basic bitches, mindy and i. [ laughter ] seth i really hope im going knock on wood because theres a chance were both in the writers guild. Theres a chance there will be a Writers Strike that would start tonight. That would mean this would be the last show before the strike. Were confident were hoping i would be excited to be the last show. Seth yeah. Because it would the most resonant. But um im hoping theres not a strike. And if there is a strike, i will do commercials for anything. Seth okay. [ light laughter ] poison. [ laughter ] seth okay. Im the face of poison. [ laughter ] seth this is different than the way you felt 10 years ago during the last one. Yeah, the last one i was like, oh, were in it to win it. But this one now, im like i got two kids. All right, you got a company that makes, i dont know, machine guns for toddlers . I can sell those. [ laughter ] i have the perfect face for that. [ laughter ] hi, im Ike Barinholtz for Little Machine gun. [ light laughter ] this one has extra ammo holders. That would be i dont write the copy stuff. Seth right, okay. [ light laughter ] i wasnt criticizing you for the copy. Look, get a slight look. [ laughter ] seth all right. Well, hopefully that doesnt happen. Yes. Seth always great to see you. Congrats on the film. Thank you. Seth congrats on everything else. Go see it. Its a fun movie. [ cheers and applause ] seth Ike Barinholtz, everybody. Snatch in theaters may 12th. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] [laughing] everything is better now. Ooooooooo everything is better now. Hey ooooooooo everything is better now. Hey waaaaoow, waaaaaaow, waaaaaaow, waaaaaaow everything is better now. Ball park franks got their right here in the ballpark. They soon became a summer tradition, passed from one generation to the next. With the taste of 100 angus beef, ball park franks bring on summer. Mawhen it comes to helping. Her daughter, shopping for groceries, unclogging the sink, setting up dentist appointments and planning birthday parties, nobody does it better. Shes also in a rock band. Look at her shred. But when it comes to mortgages, shes less confident. 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And be sure to check us out on youtube and facebook. Head over to itunes and subscribe to the late night with seth meyers podcast. Youll get a closer look and more. Download it right to your phone every day. That had the power to whawaken something old. Or painfully dated. Or something you simply thought was lost forever. Because it could form a strong bond, regardless of age. If a paint could give any timeworn surface stunning new life. You have to wonder. Is it still paint . Regal select exterior from benjamin moore®. Only available at independently owned paint and hardware stores. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to America Ferrera, Ike Barinholtz, everybody josh dion and of course the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. See you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] carson hey folks. Its carson daly here. Another edition of last call. Thanks for being here. Skylark is where were at in new york. Heres what we got tonight. For our spotlight, time after time star genesis rodriguez