[ laughter and applause ] the white house today formally nominated Christopher Rey to be the next director of the fbi, and hes been fired. [ light laughter ] its a very short cycle these days. Disney worlds hall of president s, which has been closed since january in order to add a new President Trump robot, has reportedly pushed its reopening to the fall. Bummer, said literally not one child. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] oh no, now we have to go on a real ride. According to reports, President Trumps team has been fighting with disney world over the speech trumps robot will give, in their hall of president s exhibit. Hopefully its better than the one that trumps robot gave at the Republican National convention. [ laughter and applause ] in a recent interview former georgia congressional candidate john ossoff said his nearvictory for the democrats last week, showed that President Trump and chief strategist steve bannon should be sweating in 2018. Umm, have you seen those guys lately . They probably sweat getting out of bed. [ light laughter ] beyonce and jayz have reportedly taken their twins home from the hospital, while Angelina Jolie reportedly took home someone elses. Someone stop her [ light laughter ] you have enough babies. German chancellor Angela Merkel said in an interview yesterday, quote, i laugh at least once every day, otherwise i can not do this job. Once every day . I would have guessed once, period. [ light laughter ] it was 1989. [ laughter ] my father wore a silly hat. I chuckled. [ laughter ] in the same interview merkel said that while she doesnt have a twitter account, she checks President Trumps tweets once in a while. And trump said while Angela Merkel doesnt have twitter, he still follows her. [ laughter and applause ] a Company Recently started selling rose ice pops that can hes will i be mistaken for childrens popsicles. Said one child [ slurring ] no, you need a nap [ light laughter ] i dont need a nap you need nap get your blanket. [ laughter ] get a crib. Get a crib according to recent study a persons cognitive capacity decreases when their smartphone is nearby. Heres the study. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, a couple on sunday became the first people to be married at a taco bell. She said yes, said the groom, when asked if his bride was drunk. Ladies and gentlemen we have a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause ] he is the star of spiderman homecoming, tom holland joins us tonight. Very excited. [ cheers and applause ] to have him here. Shes the cohost of abcs the view, the very funny, the always funny joy behar, joy behar. Joy beehive. [ applause ] and music from the fantastic fawk roke band oh my god. [ light laughter ] fawk roke . Its all come undone ever since i did drunk baby. [ light laughter ] music from a fantastic folkrock band, the lumineers. There it is, the correct name. [ cheers and applause ] fawk roke. Before we get to that, during the president ial campaign, candidate trump promised to bring back industries that were becoming either obsolete or being phased out during the Obama Administration, like the coal and steel industries. But one you probably heard less about is the forprofit, private prison industries. So, we decided to take a break from the breaking news of the day, and try to understand why trump is supporting the expansion of private prisons. This is the the checkin. [ applause ] seth it seems like trump views living in the white house, how most people view being in prison. Which would explain why he is always trying to escape. The president will travel to maralago for the weekend. President trump will spend the weekend at his golf club in bedminster, new jersey. In the 143 days since trump took office, he spent 42 of them at a trump property, that, of course, includes his maralago, which he calls the white house south, estate in palm beach. And the Trump International hotel in d. C. 29 days have been spent at his Golf Properties in florida, virginia, and new jersey. Seth to put it one way, if the white house is shawshank, trump is in zihuatanejo three days a week. [ light laughter ] im surprised theres not a poster of Rita Hayworth on the oval office wall. [ light laughter ] but, even trumps predecessor admitted that its not easy living in the white house. And ill take his word for it, because he actually spent a majority of his time there. The hardest thing about being the president of the United States, is it is unique in its isolation. You live in whats called the bubble. And it is a very nice prison. [ audience ohs ] seth so we can all be happy for obama that hes out of prison, after his daring kitesurfing escape. [ light laughter ] and with regard to actual prisons, president Obamas Justice department, last summer, began to phase out the federal use of private prisons, also known as contract prisons. Unlike governmentrun prisons, they are forprofit private companies that have contracts with state and federal governments, which means that they need people to lock up. Because, unlike a government facility, private industry cannot survive without customers. Thats why the vegan empanada place on your block went out of business, but the post office is still there, even though nobody ever went to either of them. [ laughter and applause ] and thats exactly why, thats exactly why private prisons and sentence centers, are controversial. You keep them profitable, to keep them profitable, you have to keep them full. For example, a case involving private detention facilities several years ago was referred to as the kids for cash scandal, after two judges in pennsylvania were found guilty of receiving kickbacks from the private company that built and maintained the new youth detention facility that replaced the older county run center. One of the judges sent kids to juvenile detention for crimes such as possession of drug paraphernalia, stealing a jar of nutmeg, and posting webpage spoofs about an assistant principal. Some of those sentenced were as young as ten years old. And juvie must be awfully hard when your answer to the question, what are you in for, is stealing nutmeg. [ light laughter ] looks like we got a pumpkin pie fan, boys. Now, last summer, a government report found that private prisons actually posed higher security risks, were not costeffective, and that disturbances in several federal contract prisons resulted in extensive property damage, Bodily Injury and the death of a correctional officer. And despite that, trump said we should have even more private prisons. And when asked about criminal Justice Reform in general, trump seemed to have no idea what he was talking about. As you know, our prison system is a disaster. Its a complete disaster, all over the country. Almost everything we have, chris, if you want to know the truth, is a disaster. Really . Seth trump uses the word disaster more than a bitchy interior decorator. [ light laughter ] this sofa is a disaster. And the wall paper . Disaster. But trump did follow through on his private prison promises. This year, the Trump Administration reversed the decision to phase out the bureau of prisons private contracts. U. S. A. Today says private Prison Companies donated big money to pro trump groups, and they stand to make gains under the president s new immigration orders. Private prison operator geo group gave 250,000 to mr. Trumps inaugural festivities. Seth and, if youre surprised that a private Prison Company donated to his inauguration, remember his Campaign Slogans were build a wall, and lock her up. [ light laughter ] thats a recipe for building a prison. [ laughter and applause ] geo group also donated 100,000 to rebuild america now, a trump superpac, the day after the Obama Administration made an announcement about ending the use of private prisons. And so far, it looks like the companys investment is paying off. Under the Trump Administration, a private Prison Company won a government contract. For 100 million. For 100 million. Taxpayer money. Seth so now geo group has a contract to build the first new immigrant Detention Center under the Trump Administration in texas set to open by the end of next year. Theres another major private Prison Company that, like geo group, is publicly traded. The company used to go by the name Corrections Corporation of america, but has rebranded, expanding its detention related offerings. And is now known as corecivic. With the tagline and im not making this up, better the public good. Which is still better than their original slogan, if you shoplifted some nutmeg, you live here now. [ light laughter ] and these companies seem to be banking heavily on trump. Stock prices for corecivic, and the geo group, which had plummeted after the obama directive have soared since election day. For the private prison industry, the Trump Administration is an enormous gift. Seth it may be a gift for the prison industry, but not so much for taxpayers, who are essentially funding these facilities. And according to reports, we can expect little in terms of accountability in return for footing the bill. Even though forprofit prisons are fulfilling a Government Role by housing federal prisoners, the industry remains shrouded in secrecy, and shielded from meaningful public oversight. And secrecy is not good here. When you add the word secret to prison, it makes it ten times worse. Its like when you add secret to santa. Santa is great, but secret santa . No thank you. Oh, a candle . Smells like nutmeg. [ light laughter ] takes me back to juvie. [ laughter ] United States already has a greater number of people behind bars than any country in the world. And while increasing the use of private prisons may be a boon for the few who benefit from it, the rest of us, for the rest of us its a complete disaster. Seth this has been the checkin. [ cheers and applause ] seth well be right back with tom holland, everybody [ cheers and applause ] woman so this happened. 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Set me free [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause ] also sitting in on drums this week from one of my favorite bands, interpol, whose classic debut turn on the bright lights has been rereleased to commemorate its 15thyear anniversary, sam fogarino, everybody. So happy to have you here, sam. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is the star of spiderman homecoming, which is in theaters and imax 3d july 7th. Lets take a look. Oh, my god, what do i do . Give me an xray to the boat until i get on the strongest point. Ah gosh, oh great job, peter. Youre 98 successful. Seth please welcome to the show, tom holland, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome to the show. Thanks for having me. Thank you. Seth congratulations on the movie. I feel as though many actors would be very excited to play spiderman, its sort of a dream role. But literally you were a huge spiderman fan all through your childhood. Yeah, i feel like ive been playing spiderman in my bedroom since i was five. Seth you actually posted a photo this is you holding up like a this is one of your of your spiderman shirts. I think that is the first one. I think my my lovely mom kept that, which im now super grateful for. But, yeah, i think thats my first ever spiderman costume. Seth and was it was that the only superhero that you dressed up with as as a child . I i had a superman phase. Seth okay, gotcha. I cant lie. I cant lie, but spiderman has always been my alltime favorite, yeah. Seth gotcha. Youre a fantastic actor, but i see you more as spiderman than superman. Thank you. Seth so i think this worked out. Im not as big as henry cavill, you know. Seth yeah, you just its a sigh. Yeah. Seth and hes a little more boring. Lets be honest, superman is, you know, because, you know, hes one of those outer space people and spiderman is just a regular guy. And and it just must be so exciting to play this part. Its a dream come true, man. When they announced they were recasting spiderman, i couldnt have imagined that i would get the job. For me, i asked my agents for an audition, just because i wanted to meet the marvel people, you know . Seth sure. Ive been such a huge fan of their movies. Seth get a few comics out of it. I would just like to meet them that would be really cool but now im in the movie, so its crazy. Seth what was it like the first time you tried on the suit . Because, i guess for the first time you played spiderman was in captain america civil war, which is really exciting because you were fantastic. It was great to know that you would then have your own film. What was it like putting on the suit for the first time . I have to say, it was very disappointing. Seth okay. You know, not ill explain. [ laughter ] ill explain everyone is like what a dick. Seth was it because you realized you didnt have the power . [ laughter ] thanks, seth. [ applause ] thank you, like, tell me, why wont this work . So basically i was cast on lets say a friday, flew to atlanta two days later to start shooting the next day. So i arrive in atlanta, i go seth so you had only had two days between getting cast and starting . It was such a whirlwind. I finished shooting the movie and it was like, did i do anything . [ light laughter ] like i feel like it was just a rehearsal. So anyways, so i show up, i go to my costume fitting, and theres all these mirrors, so i had them close the mirrors because i wanted to see the suit for the first time on. And i put the suit on, it felt great and they opened it and because it was my stunt doubles suit and he was much bigger than me, it was really baggy and saggy. [ laughter ] and looked like a very old, sad spiderman, you know . [ laughter ] so it definitely wasnt as heroic as i would have hoped. Seth yeah, you were not spiderman, you were spiderdivorcedad. Yeah. [ light laughter ] seth and you i wanted to ask about this because this is a photo you posted. I guess you would go out during breaks and get coffee. But you would not change out of the spiderman suit. Was it sort of difficult to get in and out of and once you had it on, you would just keep it on . Yeah, well the funny thing is, is you cant take it off yourself. Seth right. And youd be like, can i take it off . And theyre like, no. Seth because its too expensive. Its a yeah. Yeah, its too expensive, it takes loads of time, and we werent allowed to leave our trailer when we were in the costume because its a secret. And one day, i was like, i just need to go for a walk. So we sort of distracted the security guys and my friend and i ran the other way. And we went to starbucks. Seth and so its a real you do really good work from the waist up. [ laughter ] yeah. Yeah. Seth really excellent. [ laughter and applause ] yeah, the funny thing the funny thing about that day, is we were in downtown l. A. And i was standing on the side of the street and this guy came up to me and he was like, dude, those are such dope pants. [ laughter ] this is this is a costume. This isnt an outfit choice, bro. Seth yeah, well, to be honest, like in l. A. , you could just as easily be a dj, so [ laughter ] yeah, exactly. I fit right in. Seth yeah. And you is it this is not, you didnt just dress up as spiderman as a a young child. You actually went as an adult. You dressed as spiderman to a party. Was it a Costume Party . It was supposed to be a Costume Party. Seth oh, no and they forget to tell you that it wasnt . Still to this day, i dont know if it was a prank or if it was my Poor Organization skills, but i showed up to this High School Party dressed as spiderman, to open the door to all my friends in regular clothes. [ laughter ] i was the only one dressed up. I felt like such an idiot but that said, i rocked it all night. Seth yeah, well, you know you know, here i am today, whos laughing now . [ cheers and applause ] seth there you go. There you go. So theres a huge burden when you take on these iconic superheroes, because the fan base has such an expectation. But also i imagine theres this real burden of all the other people in the marvel universe who have already played these superheroes. So the first time you met Robert Downey jr. , i guess that was the person you had the screen test with based on the that was the first scene we saw you in was with Robert Downey jr in civil war. Yeah. Seth what was it like meeting Robert Downey jr. For the first time . So i was in atlanta for my first screen test. They told us 25 minutes before that robert was going to come along and and do the audition. Literally on cue, a helicopter like flew down and robert got out and came for his audition. Seth yeah. Now did you i was like, one day. Seth yeah, i was going to say one day but but yeah, so i go into this room to do the audition and i see Robert Downey jr. I go up to him, i shake his hand, nice to meet you and im starting to panic, right . Im like, oh, my god, its Robert Downey jr. [ light laughter ] and im looking him in the face, sort of going, theres Something Different about you in person. Do they do something to your face on camera . Like you dont look the same . And then robert then walked in. [ laughter ] and i realized i had been talking to his stunt double the whole time. [ laughter ] so i got like my nervous jittery stuff out of the way with glen and then met robert afterwards. Seth oh, my god. That guy probably youre probably his favorite actor. Hes like, you know, i do lot of movies and nobody ever says hi to me, but that guy, he treated my like a star, i really appreciate that guy. [ laughter and applause ] now, you had a role previous to spiderman, which ive heard you say was actually very helpful. You played Billy Elliott in london on stage . Yes, i did. Seth and was that helpful to to spiderman, was the physicality of that part helpful in this . Yeah, definitely, i mean dancing is a really good way of controlling your physicality and playing a character like spiderman, he is probably the most physical character you could ever play. So every day, i with a having to land in poses. The amount times i pulled my groin on this movie, is ridiculous. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. But yeah, my gymnastics background was the most helpful thing. But the funny thing is the director got too excited at times, and was like, tom, can you can you climb up that wall and then do a Double Backflip off here on to there . Im like, no. [ laughter ] im not an olympian, i have a basics gymnastic background. Seth yeah, thats the thing, in hollywood if you have a little bit of skill at anything thats not acting, you have so much more than everybody around you. Yeah. Seth so they just assume that youre that much better. Yeah. Seth and so we do have so you mentioned your background in dance, how did you take dance classes when you were a kid . Did you start that early . Yeah, thats all down to my mum. Seth okay. It was i have to like my mom, i have to give credit to my mum for everything. It was a Janet Jackson song when i was a baby, that i was just obsessed with. And she was like, oh, my kid can dance, i should send him to a saturday school. So i used to go to this School Called nifty feet. Seth right . Which was seth that is by the way so uncool. Seth such what i want all like all English Schools to be called. [ light laughter ] yeah. Nifty feet, darling. Yeah, so i went every saturday and i got spotted at one of the shows we do every year to audition for billy. I was told i was too small. Seth uhhuh. But to keep training and two years later i was training, training everyday and i eventually got the part and here i am today, yeah. Seth fantastic, thats fantastic. You you mentioned your mom. [ cheers and applause ] and props to your mom, i met your brother, who is backstage. Yes. Seth you were saying, your other brothers are coming you obviously are very close with your family . Yes. Seth is that safe to say . Absolutely. Seth are they with this very quick sort of onslaught of how recognizable you are, are they helping keep you in check . They are, theyre also loving it. Seth yeah. My brother harry has been on tour with us now for the promotion of the movie and hes had the time of his life. Seth yeah. You know, im there like working for hours on end and hes just out exploring. Seth yeah. Yeah seth like big room Service Bills . The room service in my room its always charged to my room. Seth yeah, right. The first question he asked when we get to a hotel, its like, whats your room, bro . Just so i can charge it to your room. Im like, thanks, harry. [ laughter ] seth well, i have to be honest, i do believe thats the sort of kindness that spiderman would show as well. So, again, youre incredibly well cast. Congrats on the film and thanks so much for being here. Such a pleasure. Thank you. Thanks so much. Thank you. Seth tom holland, everybody. Spiderman homecoming, is in theaters and imax theaters 3d july 7th. Well be right back with joy behar, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] all across america more people are choosing nissan. Its americas best sales event at nissan the fastestgrowing auto brand in the u. S. A. Take on every day get 0 for up to 72 months on 13 models. Schick hydro®. Protecting mankind, one face at a time. Schick hydro®. Technology that transforms. First you start with this. These guys. A place like shhh no. Found it and definitely lipton ice tea. Lots of it. A lipton meal is what you bring to it. And the refreshing taste of lipton iced tea. For all kinds of things. Like walking. Ewarded hey, honey. 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Say hi to everybody who wasnt invited vo when it really, really matters, you need the best network and the best unlimited. Just 45 per line for four lines. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Our next guest cohosts the view, weekdays on abc. Please welcome to the show, joy behar, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth hi, joy. Hello, how are you . Seth im so happy youre here. Thank you. Thank you. Seth i saw you about a month ago. I stopped by the view. Always have a wonderful time there. Do you . Seth i really do. Its a lot of fun. Why . Seth you guys are all very good at what you do. Thank you. Seth and i you know its hard to i cant even imagine what it would be like with four other hosts, i like being the only one who gets to talk. [ light laughter ] of course. Seth but you share focus very well on that show. But im an only child. Ive gotten along with all my siblings for 20 years. [ light laughter ] the rest of them, you know, not so good. Seth not so good. So, you and i both have shows that talk about trump a lot. One huge difference, trump has been on the view. Yes. Seth never been here, what was what is your relationship over the years been like with him . Well, its not intimate. Seth okay. [ laughter ] i mean but you know, he, he hates me then he likes me, then he hates me and now he hates me again. Seth yeah. So youre on the hate cycle. Right now im on his, you know, his bad list. Im on the tweeter, the twitter list, also. Im proud of that. Thats like being on nixons enemies list. Seth yeah, exactly. [ light laughter ] yeah so, he came on the first time with ivanka. The first time and he, you know, he said seth that was a famous interview now. That was the time he said, you know, if she wasnt my daughter, you know, id date her. Seth yeah. [ audience groans ] and i said to him, who are you, woody allen . [ laughter and applause ] so so he said he laughed at that actually, he thought that was quite amusing. Seth yeah. Everything used to be very amusing to him. Everything was amusing to all of us about him. Seth yeah. It was. Not any more. Seth no. So then he liked me. And then i did some jokes about his hair, and he found to be inappropriate. Making a pass at your daughter is not inappropriate. My making a joke about your hair is inappropriate, according to him. Seth yeah, exactly. Right. So i made a joke about his hair. I get a letter from his office, cease and desist with the hair jokes. Its his real hair. If you dont believe me, come to the office and you can check on it. I said, im not doing that. So he comes to the show again and he makes me i pull his hair a little bit. And it is in fact his hair. Seth right. Okay . All right. So now he thinks im going to lay off him. But thats not what comedians do. [ laughter ] so, i then make a few more jokes about him and his hair. Now he hates me again. And he puts me in his book that i have no talent, et cetera. Seth yeah, ive found that, too. Yeah. So i was on yeah i was on his bad list again. Seth you but then seth right. Then the tide turned. Seth oh, back to the good side. What happened . Well, because then i had a show on hln which belongs to cnn. Seth yep. And i had melania on. [ bleep ] when did you ever see her in an interview. Seth yeah, certainly not a oneonone. I feel like you rarely see that. Well she came on, basically, to sell her jewelry. Seth okay. So hln became qvc for a minute. So i figured ill interview her and ill get a watch out of this. Seth there you go. [ laughter and applause ] why not . And i did, i did. And so but i talked to her about the birther thing and the whole madeup thing about president obama not being born here. We had a whole discussion. Then she backed her husband up. So shes a birther girl too. Seth yeah. So then he came on the view and he liked me again because i brought his wife on the show. But then he hates me again now, and he should hate me now, because im all over him every day. [ cheers and applause ] seth do you and what do you think about what are you going to do . Seth what are you going to do . Its right there. You have to. A girls got to do seth what do you think about people who frame cause you you said she backed up his birther stuff about obama. Yeah. Yeah. Seth which i, you know, still find to be some of the most despicable things hes ever said. How do you frame melania . Are you one of these people who has sympathy for melania . Or do you think we should judge her exactly like anybody with free will . Well i kind of feel [ laughter ] she has free will, youre right. Seth yeah, she does. But i feel sorry for her. She had to sleep with him once. [ laughter ] at least once, she did. Right . Seth yeah, at least once. And then when she was in new york and we had to pay 1 million a day to keep her here. Just because she doesnt want to sleep with him, we have to we have to pay for that. I didnt like that. Seth yeah. cause i dont want to sleep with him, but nobody gives me any extra money. [ light laughter ] they dont pay my rent. Right. Seth but, you so you know, you kind of talk like, oh, hes been on the show. But youre burying the lead. You went to his second wedding. You were a guest. I did. I was at marla the marla wedding. Seth so he marries marla maples. You get invited. I did. Why was i invited, you may ask. Seth yeah. It was because i knew somebody who knew him and thats how i got invited. Seth but thats not how weddings work, you dont say like, bring everybody you know. [ light laughter ] oh, thats the way his weddings go. Seth gotcha, so he basically just invites people and says, also, you know does he want does he say kind of bring other luminaries . Bring people no, i dont think so. I was not a luminary, i was just some, you know, some pain in the neck girl, you know. But i went and it was at the plaza hotel and marla appeared in like as if she was in the grotto like a lady of lourdes, you know . [ light laughter ] she comes in the gown and the thing and its a whole big magillah and then and i was having a good time. You know, o. J. Simpson was there. All the some criminals. A lot of criminals. Seth yeah. [ cheers and applause ] he attracts that sort of type, i guess. Seth yeah. And then, wait, i got up to dance and when i came back to my seat, this is how long ago it was, when i got back to my seat, the film had been taken out of my camera. Like the kgb was there. Seth really . Yeah. Seth so there were no they didnt want you to take any pictures . No pictures. Seth wow. Yeah, but they actually took the film out. Seth that, well, that was the good old days where you could do that. I know. Seth now you would have to delete each one. Itd take forever. Well, no, now they wouldnt let you have a camera at all. Seth yeah, well, there you go. Well, you know, the reality is that its good that you went to one of the weddings, but you know, if youll probably turn it around and go to his next one, you know. [ light laughter ] theres no saying that youve gone to your last trump wedding. Thats it for him. Hes not doing it again. Seth you think . Oh, come on. Seth well, theres nothing you can say oh, come on about with trump now, that ill be like oh, youre right. Thatd be outlandish. [ laughter ] thats true. Youre right. It doesnt quite fit with him, youre right. [ applause ] seth so, youre writing a book about trump. I am. Seth when is your book coming out . Its coming out in late october. Hopefully before hes only hoping it comes out before hes impeached. Seth yeah. Because, you know, i want to sell the book. [ laughter ] seth yeah, i think youre safe. I think youre safe. I dont think hes getting impeached. I think youre good. You dont think so . Seth no, i think hes not. I think youre gonna your books going to get out there. Impeachment would be good for the country, but bad for my book. Seth yeah, okay, well, you know again, we weigh these things and try to get it right. You are, youre happily married . I am. Seth i met your husband backstage. Right. Seth you guys have known each other for a very long time. Right. Seth do you get time to actually go out with your schedule and actually go on vacations . You know, we went on a trip, kind of a semi honeymoon trip to sicily. Seth thats a lovely place. So, sicilys beautiful. We were driving. Theres a gps in the car. Ill tell you a funny story. So the thing speaks italian. Well im italianamerican. I know people think im jewish, but im not. Everyone thinks im jewish, so a few years ago seth everyone thinks im jewish too. Do they really . Seth yeah. Well seth meyer is jewish. Seth yeah, i get it. Im not blaming them. [ laughter ] i think theyre doing pretty good deduction work, yeah. [ laughter ] but one time i get a call, happy hanukkah, i said, ma im not jewish. [ laughter ] anyway seth anyway. Badum boom. So anyway, so were in the gps thing, and shes and the woman is like [ speaking italian ] which means go to the left. Now, i dont know enough italian. I dont know what shes talking about. And hes jewish, the guy, my husband. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] [ speaking italian ] so he keeps driving straight. And the thing is like [ speaking italian ] and then she starts making [ speaking italian ] [ laughter ] and he keeps going [ speaking italian ] ive never threatened by my dashboard before. [ laughter ] seth but you guys got to where you were going. Well, we were going to mount aetna. Which was another thing. You know, you go to mount aetna, and were driving up this thing, this high, high, high seth yes, very precarious. And you would go up to practically all the way up to the top and he pulls over and it goes, i cant see. Seth what . He goes, i cant see. I said, what do you mean you cant see . Two minutes ago hes mario andretti, now hes Stevie Wonder . [ laughter ] so he goes, i cant see. I said to him, whats the matter with you . I dont know, something happened to me. So i said, okay. On my vacation the guy has to lose his eyesight. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] so, i said, okay. Ill drive. He says, no, ill drive. I mean im that bad a driver. Seth hed rather drive blind than have you drive . [ laughter ] thats right. Why, why, why . Because i was tailgating a cop car one time . Seth yeah, that counts. Or because i drove an suv into a farm stand in the hamptons once. [ laughter ] seth you billy joeld it. I did. I billy joeld it. Seth thank you so much for being here. Really appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] joy behar, everybody. The view, airs weekdays on abc. Well be right back with more late night [ cheers and applause ] sometimes, you feel the need to take. A smellfie. Hanes wants to end the smellfie. Those quick selfsniffs. To check the ol smell levels. But this thing weve all done doesnt need to be a thing. Theres a smart way to stay fresh. Hanes with freshiq advanced odorprotection technology. Get your free trial pack at hanes. Com. I may be dead, but let me tell myou one last thing. D get the new ipad pro it has the powerful a10x fusion chip, so you wont miss me at all thanks ghost computer. Whoops, forgot my powercord, coming back down. This isay selfie mazing. Selfie you must be hashtag devastated. Thanks captain obvious. Selfies arent always rewarding. But hotels. Com is. Save up to 50 during the hotels. Com 4th of july sale. Nosy neighbor with a glad bag, full of trash. What happens next . Nothing. Only glad has febreze to neutralize odors for 5 days. Guaranteed. Even the most perceptive noses wont notice the trash. Be happy. Its glad. Woman so this happened. Nikki picked up some limearitas and thats when we knew it was going to be one of those nights. We started hanging a disco ball but then the ball reminded ava of her sequined dress. Now we have two disco balls. Limearita. Make it a margarita moment. Limearita. Wwell, its just abolike a real pencil, . So when you write on the new ipad pro, theres basically no lag. Whats the big deal about a little lag . Wait whats happening . Laaaaaaagggg present. Youre always itthinking about it. S always what if my cancer comes back . Ive been working on this therapy for 5 years now and were getting ready to go to the clinic. My son definitely keeps me fighting. I want to be there for him when he needs me. Thats what motivates me. I want to see patients have gray hair. I see myself growing old with my pink hair. That to me, is enough to keep going. Governor jerry brown signed a new budget bill into law. It includes 5. 4 Million Dollars for flood victims in san jose. In february, 14thousand people were forced to evacuate when coyote creek overflowed its banks. Add on twitter city leaders in palo alto have adopted a plan that will increase the cost of Downtown Parking garage permits. A yearly permit will go from 466 a year to 738. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. Now, before we continue with the show, i wanted to welcome someone sitting in all week with the 8g band is norwegian black metal guitarist, gorbon hausinfrud, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for sitting in, gorbon. Thank you for having me in your kingdom, lord meyers. Seth well, its not a kingdom and can you just call me seth. [ light laughter ] okay, well thank you for sitting in. I just want to talk about some of the guests we have coming up next week. Im very [ wind ] seth. Seth gorbon . Can you hear me, seth . Seth yes. Seth . Seth are you speaking to me telepathically . Yes. Seth thats impossible, how can you do this . An ancient tribe of norse witches performed paganistic ritual where my soul transcended my earthly body and entered valhalla where odin himself taught me how to free myself from the shackles of speech and gave me the power of mindtomind communication. Seth thats amazing. Seth, i have a very important warning for you, seth. Seth what is it, gorbon . Seth seth yes . Get a hotel room if you take your family to a water park. Seth what . Its just such a long day. Last summer i took my wife, rachel, and the twins to Crystal Springs water park in east brunswick, new jersey and we tried to drive back in the same day. What a mistake, we were totally wiped. The kids were cranky and it was just a complete nightmare. [ light laughter ] seth our son is too young for water parks. Youre lucky. I mean, dont get me wrong, theres Nothing Better than the look of joy on your kids face when you see them play in the wave pool. Seth uhhuh. But its very stressful. Its like a twohour drive and then you have to put in the car seats, pack the lunches and swimsuits, goggles, swim caps, sunscreen, change of clothes in case the twins have an accident, flipflops, widebrim hats, and uh i feel like im forgetting something seth goggles . I said those seth im sorry, gorbon, but did you telepathically connect with me just to tell me about a trip to the water park . No seth, i have more to speak to you about. I have a dire warning for you, seth. Seth a warning . What is it . Seth seth what . Dont listen to the naysayers, cruises are great for family vacations. Seth come on. I know, i used to laugh at people who went on cruises too, but it just makes sense when you have kids. Seth uhhuh. I go on norwegian cruise lines. Seth because youre norwegian. Im not norwegian. Im from tampa. Seth tampa . Then whats with the accent . This is a florida accent. Seth whatever, man. Anyway, i love the norwegian gem cruise liner. Its a twelvedeck cruise ship with an indoor pool, spa, fitness center, worldclass restaurants like the grand pacific, and a state of the art bliss lounge. They also have a fully supervised kids club so you and your wife can get away and you know. Seth yeah. I know. Do you get it . Seth yeah. Please dont say it. [ laughter ] have sex. [ laughter ] seth gorbon, come on. The only thing is, its kind of hard to sexually perform under those time constraints, its a lot of pressure. Parenthood takes a toll on the marriage. I just miss the old days when we could be more spontaneous in bed. But i also love to see my life being such a caring mother to our beautiful children. I love her so seth hey, its okay, man, weve all been there. Thanks, seth. So are you having sexual problems with your wife . Seth no, were doing great. Okay, dude. Seth look, man can we wrap this up . No, seth, wait, i have a very Important Message for you that you must heed. Seth okay, what . Seth seth what . Sometimes wifeswapping can spice up the marriage seth you know what, im sorry. Sorry, gorbon, but just get out of my head. Hey, seth. Seth ive had more than enough of you. Seth, seth, how are you talking to . Seth well, gorbon, he was wait, he was gorbon . Seth he was just there. Oh, he had to take a call from his wife. Rachel, exciting news, i think seth and his wife alexi are in. [ laughter and applause ] seth give it up for gorbon, everybody. Well be right back with music from the lumineers. [ cheers and applause ] the ford summer sales event is on. Its gonna work, i promise you, we can figure this out. Babe. Little help. Hold on, mom. No, wifi. Wifi. Its not a question, its a thing. Take on summer right with ford, americas bestselling brand. Now with summers hottest offer. Get zero percent for seventytwo months plus an additional thousand on top of your tradein. During the ford summer sales event get zero percent for seventytwo months plus an additional thousand on top of your tradein. Offer ends july 5th. Whats that . P3 planters nuts, jerky and seeds. I like a variety in my protein. Totally, thats why i have this uh trail mix. Wow minty. P3 snacks. The more interesting way to get your protein. We, the tv loving people, roooooaaar want our whole house to be filled with entertainment. Easy boy but we dont want annual contracts and hardware. You scoundrel we just want to stream live tv. And we want it for 10 dollars a month. batman raspy wow. Id like that in my house. Its a very big house. Yeah, mine too. Look at us. Just two bros with sick houses. High five. Directv now. A big streaming deal for 10 a month. Its entertainment your way. First you start with this. These guys. A place like shhh no. Found it and definitely lipton ice tea. Lots of it. A lipton meal is what you bring to it. And the refreshing taste of lipton iced tea. When it comes to hitting prperfect drives,er. Nobody does it better. Hes also into oil painting. Looking good. But when it comes to mortgages, hes less confident. Fortunately for rickie, theres Rocket Mortgage by quicken loans. Its simple, so he can understand the details and be sure hes getting the right mortgage. Apply simply. Understand fully. Mortgage confidently. [ cheers and applause ] seth tonights musical guests are currently on the road with select shows opening for u2 and tom petty. Here to perform their new single, angela, please welcome the lumineers. [ cheers and applause ] when you left this town with your windows down and the wilderness inside let the exits pass all the tar and glass til the road and sky align the strangers in this town they raise you up just to cut you down oh angela its a Long Time Coming and your volvo lights lit up green and white with the cities on the signs but you held your course to some distant war in the corners of your mind from the Second Time Around the only love i ever found oh angela its a Long Time Coming home at last were you safe and warm in your coat of arms with your fingers in a fist did you hear the notes all those static codes in the radio abyss the strangers in this town they raise you up just to cut you down oh angela its a Long Time Coming oh angela spent your whole life running away home at last home at last vacancy hotel room lost in me lost in you angela on my knees i belong i believe home at last home at last home at last home at last home at last oohh oohh oohh oohh [ cheers and applause ] seth the lumineers, everybody. The album cleopatra is out now. And head over to latenightseth. Com for another great performance of tom pettys walls. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] you know new pantene. R tangles the minute you wash it . The first shampoo with active prov nutrient blends fueling hair 100 stronger thats instantly smoother and tangle free. Because strong is beautiful. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to tom holland, joy behar, the lumineers, everybody sam fogarino and the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause ] carson good evening and welcome to last call. Im your host carson daly. Nice to see you. Lets see what we got for you tonight. Coming up, snd
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