[ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] President Trump today met with the leaders of fiat, chrysler, ford, and general motors. And he asked them one question. How many people do you think were at my inauguration . [ laughter ] President Trump said today that he is, to a large extent, an environmentalist. Well he certainly made sure that the grass in the National Mall wasnt trampled. [ laughter and applause ] stay back. Stay back. Oscar nominations were announced today with meryl streep nominated for Florence Foster jenkins, Natalie Portman for jackie, and Hillary Clinton for smiling her way through the inauguration. [ laughter and applause ] happy place. Think of your happy place. Happy place. [ light laughter ] according to sources, Hillary Clinton is seriously considering running for mayor of new york city. And just to be a dick, so is trump. [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] today was National Peanut butter day. Interesting fact about peanut butter, its what they put in the president s mouth to make it look like hes talking. [ laughter and applause ] google maps has announced a feature that will help users find a parking spot at their destination, and just look at all these open spaces it found. [ laughter and applause ] actor mel gibson welcomed his ninth child this weekend. Hey, mel. Mazel tov. [ laughter ] good for you. Police are searching for a man who broke into a sex shop to steal a blowup doll, and they shouldnt have much trouble catching him because hes probably out of breath. [ light laughter ] but why is he out of breath . Think about it, get back to me. [ light laughter ] and finally, today was National Compliment day, so, to my wife, id just like to say, youre a very lucky woman. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show tonight. Hes the host of bravos watch what happens live, also a New York Times best selling author and a dear friend of our show. Andy cohen is here tonight, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] she is the star of girlfriends guide to divorce. Shes also going to help me with some serious day drinking. Retta is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] and he wrote an incredible cover story for the atlantic on president obama called my president was black. Tanehisi coates is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] so excited that i get a chance to talk to him again. Before we get to that, in a meeting yesterday with a Bipartisan Group of congressional leaders, President Trump repeated the false claim he would have won the popular vote had it not been for three to five Million People who voted illegally, which brings us to a segment we call, hey [ cheers and applause ] seth hey, why do you keep lying about this . There is zero evidence for this claim. Also, why would you say three to five Million People . We already know from the inauguration you have no idea what a Million People looks like. [ laughter ] just accept youre bad at guesstimating. How many kids do you have . Well, theres ivanka 20 . [ laughter ] but hey, you won the election. What are you complaining about . Youre like a guy who wins the super bowl and spends the post game interview complaining about a pass interference call in the first quarter. Winners dont complain about the final score. You know who does . Degenerate gamblers. [ light laughter ] but i guess if you knew anything about gamblers, your casinos would still be open. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] the election the election is over and youre the president. So let me just say what dozens of women have already said to you. Hey, let go of it. [ audience ohs ] this has been hey. [ cheers and applause ] you guys, here at late night, every night i deliver a monologue comprised of jokes that are written by a diverse team of writers. As a result, a lot of jokes come across my desk that due to my being a straight white male would be difficult for me to deliver. But we dont think that should stop you from enjoying them, so wed like to share them with you in a segment called jokes seth cant tell. [ cheers and applause ] seth hey everybody, these are two of our writers, amber and jenny. Im black. And im gay. And were both women. Seth and im not. [ laughter ] so heres how this works. Ill read the setups for jokes and then amber and jenny will read the punch line. So, all right, here we go. According to a recent article, lesbian bars in america have almost completely disappeared. Theres only one left, and its called guitar center. [ light laughter ] seth so if there are no lesbian bars, how do lesbians find each other . Oh, there are signs. You know, like a crisp buttondown shirt, or a strong jaw line or a short hair cut thats kind of spiky in the front. You mean, like this . Yeah, exactly like this. [ laughter ] seth strong jaw line, ill take it. [ light laughter ] a florida theater is set to screen a series of africanamerican silent films. Said people in the theater, finally a movie that wont interrupt my conversation. [ laughter and applause ] seth neo nazis have declared new balance the official shoes of white people. While the official shoes of lesbians are ugly. [ light laughter ] seth aw, come on, jenny. Lesbians dont wear ugly shoes. Okay, yeah. Point taken. [ light laughter ] those are your fancy shoes. [ light laughter ] the department of justice recently found that the Chicago Police use excessive force. Said black people, theres a department of justice . [ laughter and applause ] seth a new lesbian dating app called click rejects the concept of swiping and instead matches women based on their values and interests. That way users can keep their fingers free for other stuff. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] seth lesbians. [ laughter ] british Prime Minister theresa may today outlined her plans for how the u. K. Will leave the european union, which some are calling a black brexit. Before that, the definition of black brexit was when you left ihop before you got the check. [ laughter ] seth im glad i didnt tell that one. Im glad you told that one. Im a little sad i told it. Seth Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi are reportedly shopping for a house in australia. Which makes sense, since lesbians love to go down under. [ laughter and applause ] seth the library at the university of West Virginia is seeking copies of three rare africanamerican newspapers published in the early 20th century. But you cant have mine because there are coupons for baby powder in there. [ light laughter ] seth what do you use wait. What do you use baby powder for . To put on my face in case the cops pull me over. [ laughter and applause ] hey, seth. Why dont you tell one . Seth no, i dont want to. Come on. Seth i think if i do, ill get in trouble. Okay, i trust you guys. [ light laughter ] the academy gave eight nominations today to the black, gay comingofage film moonlight. Though i prefer its original name, brokeblack mountain. [ light laughter ] how dare you . Seth you told me it would be okay you should be ashamed of yourself seth black women and lesbians are liars [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with andy cohen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] at planters, were all about great taste. And we thoroughly test all our nuts for superior craveability. Hey richard, check out this fresh roasted flavor. Looks delicious, huh . Yeah. Richard, try to control yourself. I cant help it. And how about that aroma . Love that aroma umph craveability, approved oh, can i have some now . sure help yourself. Wait, what . Irresistibly planters. So tasty. Wecagefree eggs. Ng and we care about amazing taste. Because at best foods, were on the side of food. Kids, juicy fruitmmmm with longerlasting flavor . Mmm zipping zipping rattling longerlasting juicy fruit. So sweet you cant help but chew and chew. If youre gonna make an entrance. [car driving upon the water] new pantene doesnt just wash i wiyour hair, it fuels it. Gain. Making every strand stronger. So tangles dont stand a chance. Because strong is beautiful. The full value of your totaled new car. The guy says, you picked the wrong insurance plan. No, i picked the wrong Insurance Company. With new car replacement™, well replace the full value of your car plus depreciation. Liberty mutual insurance. Play marian hill. Are you down, dddown, dddown, dddown, down, down . Are you. Down, ddown, down, dddddown, down, down, down . Down, ddown, down, down, dddddown, down, down, down . Are you down, are you down, are you dddown, are you . [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Please, give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, back with us tonight on drums, hes from the grammynominated rock band mutemath who are coming off a summer tour and surprise ep collaboration with 21 pilots, and are currently working on their fifth studio album. Darren king is here, everybody. There he is. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is a New York Times bestselling author and the host of watch what happens live, which airs sunday through thursday at 11 00 pm on bravo. Please welcome back to the show, our friend andy cohen, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Im great. That was so funny. You know, if the president saw any of your monologue seth yeah. He would bust a capillary, i feel like. Seth it wouldnt be great. Im glad that this is not a show he seems to watch. Right. [ laughter ] seth i understand. Yes, yes. Seth i understand the choices he makes. I want to congratulate you thank you. Seth because i have done your show before. It is one of the most fun shows to do. Thank you. Seth its right here in new york city. Yes. Seth but youve just upgraded your studio. Yes, we moved basically from, like, a tictac to a studio apartment. Seth okay, great. [ light laughter ] so we had 18 seats, and now we have 34 seats. [ cheers ] which is seth which is great. [ applause ] it i you know, its hard to explain to people exactly how small your old studio was. Its teeny. And the new one is really small, too. Seth yeah. Last night, Jerry Oconnell was on. Seth yep. And he we were about 15 seconds before air. He was leaning back and busted his chair. Were down a chair. Seth i think we have a shot of this. [ light laughter ] cause this is not something you [ laughter ] and the chair broke and the chair broke. By the way, i did nothing. And i realized today, i didnt even ask him, like, are you okay . [ laughter ] i go, our chair [ laughter ] hes a regular on the show. Its okay. Seth hes a regular. Hell be back. Yeah, its fine. Seth and but it was the funny thing about the show is at commercial breaks, you kind of, as a guest, have no choice but to talk to the people. They are so close to you. I know, cause theyre on you theyre in your lap. Seth hey, how you doing . Theyre like, oh, good. Exactly. Seth are you happy im here . Theyre like, no. [ laughter ] yeah, exactly. Seth you have two is it two oprah chairs . From the oprah studio . Yes we bought its the most expensive part of our new studio. We bought two chairs from the old Oprah Winfrey show audience. Seth so two of the 34 chairs are yes, there are vip chairs. Seth okay. And they have plaques on them that say, like, certified oprah with her signature. The final seas not a real signature, of course. Seth right. [ light laughter ] but they were like, 500 each. So it was really we had to go to bravo and be like, uh, can we have a thousand dollars for these chairs . [ laughter ] seth and so and they were like, for all the chairs . Youre like, no, two of the chairs. [ light laughter ] yeah. Theyre like, youre over budget now. Seth who sits there . Who gets the oprah chairs . Um, just vips or friends of the guests, or goodlooking people, or cute people or upbeat people. Seth gotcha. Yeah. Seth and obviously if oprah came, she would be led to those immediately. Well, no. She would be with me, of course, but we would want her to touch the chairs. Seth you also you have a lovely dog. I see you walking him all the time. Wacha . Yes. Seth and now you have a stuffed wacha for the set. We do, yeah. Thats oh, yeah, wacha hates [ audience aws ] seth so wacha hates stuffed wacha . Yes, this is wacha about to rip poor little stuffed wacha apart. Yeah. Seth it must be traumatic for a dog to see another version of himself that never has to eat yes. Seth never has to go do the bathroom. Yes seth hes like, oh, this is a real upgrade. I know. He is becoming my favorite dog. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] stuffed wacha. He gives me no no lip. Seth we were talking backstage. Obviously the trump administration, theres a lot of interseting characters that are now on our tv every day. Kellyann conway, who was on this show obsessed. Obsessed. Seth and you see she recently said alternative facts. My favorite statement ever made [ laughter ] in the history of ever. [ applause ] and i you know, i ive been saying for many, many for a year, i was calling all the debates housewives reunions. Seth yeah. Because they were. And the parallels to the housewives and a lot of the things that happened during the election there are so many. And kellyann conway i am begging her to just consider a spot on the housewives. Seth shed be such a great housewife. Shed be amazing, because alternative facts i am waiting for them to bust it out. Im taping the Beverly Hills reunion in a few weeks, and im waiting for lisa rinna to be like, well, no, thats an alternative fact, but, you know. [ laughter ] and she but she reminds me someone tweeted me the other day and pointed out, she do you remember michaele salahi, who crashed the white house . Seth yes. She actually also really looks like michaele salahi. And interviewing her is i was interviewing michaele like, did you were you invited to the white house . Shes like, well, i mean, you know, they told us that if we came, you know, we might be got in. Im like, okay, so were you invited . Shes like, well, when we got there, we you know, its a circle. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] its amazing. Seth it would be alternative facts. [ laughter ] were you a redskins cheerleader . Well, you know, when i cheered, i oh, so you did cheer. No, well, no. Hold on. [ laughter ] seth im not done with the circle. Yeah, right, exactly. Seth im here, and i gotta come all the way around. I want to make a full circle. Seth my dad will call me sometimes, give me feedback on my show. Your mom i love your parents. Seth yeah, my parents i met them at a benefit. Seth yeah, they theyre kooky [ laughter ] seth they were very excited to meet you. Yeah. Yes, i was maybe more excited to meet them. Seth the best is i dont know if your parents are like my parents, but they said, were going to this event that andy cohen is hosting. And i just knew, theyre definitely gonna go say hi to andy. Oh, my god. I took a selfie with them immediately. [ laughter ] seth yeah. I was like, can i have a selfie with you please . [ light laughter ] yes. Seth but your mom will give you feedback on your show. Yes, she does. Blistering, brutal. Seth really . Yes, yes. Never stops. Last week was particularly rough becau i mean, literally, im walking off the air, and the text comes in, disgusting [ laughter ] like, gross a riot . Okay, and then i had three in a row that got literally, i thought she was never gonna she has told me in the past that my show has jumped the shark. Seth right. Shes like, no more crotch games. [ laughter ] cause we do a lot of crotch guessing games and such. Seth sure. And then last wednesday, Neil Patrick Harris and b. J. Novak were on, and she said, finally a decent show [ laughter ] finally decent. Yeah. Seth thats very nice. Yeah, yeah. Seth i forgot, too, thats an especially bitter pill, cause youre a live show, so you see it right when i get off the air. Seth yeah. As im walking out. Seth my parents are like 24 hours behind, so ive moved on by the time they criticize this one. Yes, right, exactly. Youre over whatever funk you your own personal demons you might be in. Yes. Hows my office, by the way . Seth what . Hows my office . Seth oh, yeah, i i have andys old office. Yeah. Seth he used to have its beautiful. Its good . That view. Seth yeah, good use of the rink. Yeah, watch the rink all the time. Did you ever sometimes when im having a bad day, i will watch tourists on the ice rink, because its only a matter of like, 30 seconds before someone takes a total header. [ laughter ] yes oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Seth and its really just brings me such joy. [ laughter ] but how bad is christmastime . Because not only do you have the lights from saks, which is a full on laser show thats insane, coming right at you, but then the bells from the salvation army. Seth salvation, yeah. And theres nothing worse than looking irritated at someone whos raising money for charity. [ laughter ] i have no problem with it. Seth oh, youre fine with it . I dont have a problem with it. Seth this is nice, because now its just the rink is like, all thats left. Yes, but then election night, nbc goes crazy, and then they do the spotlights. Seth do the lights again, and you feel like youre under attack. I want to ask you one last thing, because sometimes when i watch your show, you will have a housewife and a celebrity. Yes. Seth sort of an alist celebrity, even. Yes. Seth who is more excited . Are the celebs equally excited to meet the housewives . Usually the celebrities are more excited. [ light laughter ] because the housewives are like, oh, my god, i have someone new to tell my stuff to. [ laughter ] you know . Once, Sarah Jessica parker was in the audience once, and ramona was on. I cant remember why sarah was there, but ramona was on. And ramona was like, you know what . I am mad at derinda. She really you know . And sarahs like, all right, whoa. I got it. [ laughter ] seth i love that theyre just looking for new ears yes seth with which to litigate old beefs. Yes thats right. Seth thats a [ bleep ] crazy world you live in. [ laughter ] did you just use the f word . Seth yeah, were not live. They can take that out. [ laughter ] [ applause ] itll just look like this. Its a crazy world you live in. Wow. Seth andy cohen, everybody watch what happens live with andy cohen airs sunday through thursday nights on bravo. Well be right back with retta. [ cheers and applause ] this is my body of proof. Proof of less joint pain. 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Whats your body of proof . Oh, look weve got fees ew, really . Oh, its our verizon bill look at them. Line access fee, administrative fees, there are even taxes on top of them. Decent people shouldnt have to live like this did i get it . Tmobile ends surprise fees and taxes thats right, with tmobile one, taxes and fees are now included 4 lines, 40 bucks each. All unlimited, all in. As ai can embrace a worldber, full of surprising moments. The new marriott portfolio of hotels now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts today. Thiswith fries and a pepsiger mis just 9. 99. Mine has bacon seared right in. Mine has gift cards. Mine has game tickets. Get a burger, fries and a pepsi for just 9. 99 at lunch, plus a shot at great prizes. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is an actress and comedian. You know her from her work as donna meagle on the hit nbc comedy parks and recreation. She currently stars in the series girlfriends guide to divorce, which airs wednesday nights on bravo. Please welcome back to the show, our very good friend, retta. [ cheers and applause ] seth hello, retta. How are you . Im good, darling. How are you . Seth im good. You look wonderful. You were in new york this weekend. And we were talking about this before, when you come back to new york, you like to see a few broadway shows. I do. Seth howd you do . I went to see dear evan hansen. Seth thats great, fantastic. God bless ben platt. Seth yeah. Oh, my god. I was so stressed just watching him. He was so much he was working so hard. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] and then i went to see hamilton again. [ cheers ] seth and now, where are we at . Where are we at on hamilton . How many times . Five. Seth five times at hamilton. [ light laughter ] and has it has it i love it seth has [ laughter ] i love it seth and when you go in your fifth time, does it still match your expectations for what youre expecting out of the evening . Yes, because its not always the same cast. Seth right. So i kind of like, i compare and contrast whos bringing what seth uhhuh. And who did what i thought they were going to do. [ light laughter ] and i was so happy because it was a completely not one person on stage had i seen before and i still got misty where i get misty. Seth yeah. I still was like, yes immigrants we get the job done when they do that. [ laughter ] seth okay, great. So, all of that. Seth its good not to if you do that at the wrong time now wait, i got this for ashe. Seth oh, this is for my baby. Yes. Seth oh, a hamilton onesie. Thats is fantastic. Yes. [ audience aws ] [ applause ] seth he will love this. Now, i want to ask you about this, because ive seen some stuff on social media. You were backstage at hamilton, and explain to me this tradition that happens backstage at hamilton called shots from the grammy . Shots off shots out the grammy. Seth shots out the grammy. Explain. So, daveed diggs, who played jefferson and Lafayette Seth yes. I saw that he was doing when they won their grammy, they were doing tequila shots. Like, anyone who came into his dressing room or their production office, he would have them do shots out the grammy. So i got to go on lin, leslie, and phillipas last night. Seth wow. It was a big night. Seth big night. And i the crew we were backstage, we were on stage, and i met jane fonda that night. Seth wow. And made friends with troy gairty, and his wife was like, you met my motherinlaw . And i was like, oh, have i met j no, i havent met jane fonda before. [ light laughter ] so we were just chatting with people, and i saw daveed, and i met daveed before, and i kind of know him. So i went up to him. I said, you were great as always. The only thing i regret from my run my run of hamilton. [ laughter ] because i felt like i was a part of it, was that i didnt get to do shots out the grammy. He was like, oh, lets go do that nonsense. [ laughter ] and so we went backstage and did it. Seth i actually have video. This is what it looks like when you do shots out the grammy. Yo, with my sister from another mister retta, and shes about to do a shot out the grammy shots out the grammy [ cheers and applause ] killed it. [ laughter and applause ] doing a shot out the grammy seth of all i was so happy. Seth of all the innovations that hamilton brought to our lives, shots out the grammy might be one of the finest. Just a heads up, so the its a gramaphone, right . So, its, like, curved edge. Seth yeah. It was all over my top. [ laughter ] seth they can always tell when people walk out of the theater with tequila here. Yes. Seth theyre like, you did shots out the grammy. [ light laughter ] so girlfriends guide to divorce, congratulations on the show. Thank you. Seth and you started as a guest, and now youre a series regular on the show. Yes. Seth and tell us about your character. Barbara was abbys boss when she first got there. And they kind of butted heads at first, but became friends, became peoples, became homies. And then, by season three, which is the current season thats airing, abby gets fired and the managing boss asks barbara to take over her friends job. So she didnt want to do it, but she did it because shes [ light laughter ] seth it must be nice to become a series regular. You probably spend more time with cast members that you didnt get a chance to work with in the beginning. Well, by the end of season two, i was working with all the girls. But this just means i have more hours. Seth so thats great. [ laughter ] do you like more hours or well, i like more pay. Seth okay, got you. [ laughter ] usually the two are together. Youre going to stick around yes. Seth because we actually went and we did some drinking during the day. We did. Seth we did shots out the glass, and were gonna show people what that looked like. [ light laughter ] well be right back with more from retta. [ cheers and applause ] vo when youre on your phone 24 7, you probably think you need an unlimited plan. But actually, the majority of people pay for data they never use. Thats right, two out of three people use less than five gigs. Now verizon introduces the one plan thats right for you. Switch, and for just 55 get five gigs on americas best network. Thats tons of data at a cost thats less than an unlimited plan. And the best part, no surprise overages. Finally, all the data you need, on the network you want. Verizon. Imy bargain detergentgh a couldnt keep up. Isaster. So, i switched to tide pods. Theyre super concentrated, so i get a better clean. Tide. Number one rated. 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[ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to late night. Were here with retta, everybody, and retta and i had last friday off. And we thought what better way to spend a friday afternoon than go into a bar cocktails seth and getting hammered. [ light laughter ] we went out, and we full got hammered. This is seth and retta go day drinking. Oh, god. Seth hey, everybody. Im seth. Thats retta. And, were going to do some day drinking with some lovely champagne. But before we drink our champagne, how about a round of shots . Oh, okay. Seth to drinking in the day. Cheers. Hey seth [ bleep ]. [ light laughter ] and now lets toast 2017. Heres to a happy and healthy 2017. Heres to a happy and horny 2017. [ light laughter ] seth 2017, the year my 9monthold son finally starts pulling his [ bleep ] weight. [ laughter ] 2017, the year my spanx continue to pull my weight. [ laughter ] seth well, i dont know about you, but this champagnes not quite doing it. No. Seth so im going to chug it and head over to the bar. Okay. [ light laughter ] [ light applause ] seth here we go. Weve got the bar to ourselves. This is what i propose. We will give each other shows we love okay. Seth and then the other person will make a drink based on that show. Mmhmm. [ light laughter ] seth oh, bartender. Hi, sethie. Seth i would love a walking dead. Ive got something in mind. Seth okay, great. Rum. Seth rum. Bourbon. Seth bourbon. Tequila. Seth why not. [ light laughter ] white wine. Seth white wine . Dont judge me. [ laughter ] seth white wine. Accept it as truth. Seth because it is on a premium cable channel. [ light laughter ] wait, was this red wine . Red wine . [ laughter ] seth you cant put red wine and white wine in a drink. All right. All right. Seth okay, fantastic. Youre looking like a pro. Because you said the walking dead, i made you a zombie. Seth why do you call it a zombie . Because after you drink this, youre gonna die. [ laughter ] seth heres how a good a drinker i am. Uhhuh. Seth im going to drink this awful concoction you made me, and it will not read on my face. Okay, lets see. Seth it will not read on my face that ive never had this before. God bless you. Seth ugh. [ laughter and applause ] ooh. Gin alone. Seth oh, that should not be a drink. Gin alone. Seth thats growing on me. Okay, im sweating. [ laughter ] okay sethie, whats your next show . Seth keep it simple for you, network comedy. Make me a big bang theory. Rum. Seth rum. Diet coke. You want the bang. Seth yep. The theory is the bang. Seth yes. So mentos. Seth okay. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] you have to work later . Seth oh, bazinga. Yes [ light laughter ] yes seth give me a television show, and ill make you a drink to your liking. Game of thrones seth game of thrones g. O. T seth you got to put some ice in it [ beat boxing ] because winter is coming [ light laughter ] its coming seth im going to make you a drink called the white walker. Oh, god. Seth im going to put some heavy cream. [ laughter ] yikes. Seth and what do white people drink . Malibu. [ laughter ] all right, and here we go. Because to make it a full game of thrones, were going to put in a little dry ice. Ooh. Seth okay, here we go. Okay. Seth oh, actually, you know, the other thing the white walkers have is poison [ light laughter ] [ laughter and applause ] that drink is poison [ laughter ] king joffrey is dead [ laughter ] seth one of the things i dont like about tv these days, there are no lyrics to theme songs. Okay. Seth now that were drunk, i would like you to give me a tv show, and im gonna make up a theme song for it. This is us. This is us nbc going back and forth in history weve got a couple that has three kids and were jumping back and forth in time mm. [ laughter ] Mandy Moore Mandy moore i dont want to listen with mandy moore [ light laughter ] black mirror. Do you like british shows that have a twist at the end like Twilight Zone then you should watch black mirror because were taking apart modern technology [ laughter ] seth nbcs timeless. Timeless [ cheers ] were moving through time we are not here but back then back then back then to fight the crime [ cheers ] with houdini with who else is in the past . Seth Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln wasnt on it. Seth lincoln should be on it. No, but it was with houdini. [ light laughter ] seth with Abraham Lincoln. And, no, no. [ light laughter ] whos the guy that was the traitor . Seth oh, yeah. Abraham lincoln. [ laughter ] no. Seth it was Benedict Arnold. Yeah, it was. It was. It was. With houdini and Benedict Arnold and Abraham Lincoln [ laughter ] they didnt do one with lincoln. Seth well, they should. Timeless back in tiiiiiiime less yes [ cheers and applause ] seth okay. As a married man, im worried that ive lost my ability to pick up a woman in a bar. You still need it . Seth no, i just feel like you want to know you have it. Copy that. Seth heres whats going to happen. Im gonna come out with you. Im going to try to pick you up at a bar. But youre gonna come up with me . [ laughter ] seth here we go. Im going to try to pick you up. And heres the thing. If the minute you think no, i just want you to go, meh. Hey. Have you ever been with a seven and a nope. [ laughter and applause ] seth wassup . [ laughter ] my wife just died. [ laughter ] dont laugh. No. Im going through a really hard time. You cant start with your wife. Seth what . You cant start with your wife. [ laughter ] seth okay, hold on. Someone just died. [ laughter ] want to blow this place and play some air hockey . Yes. [ laughter ] seth whoohoohoo son of a bitch seth now, were drunk enough now. I feel like you and i, right here, can solve all of the worlds problems. Okay. Seth global warming. Go. Solve it. If all the girls from jersey stopped using hair spray. [ laughter ] were good. Seth all right. How are we going to solve racial tension . Oh, i know how we can solve that. Ebony and ivory [ cheers and applause ] were together in perfect seth this has been seth and retta go day drinking. [ cheers and applause ] seth give it up for retta, everybody [ cheers and applause ] girlfriends guide to divorce airs wednesday nights on bravo. Well be right back with tanehisi coates. [ cheers and applause ] Liberty Mutual stood with me when i was too busy with the kids to get a repair estimate. I just snapped a photo and got an estimate in 24 hours. My Insurance Company definitely doesnt have that. You can leave worry behind when liberty stands with you™ Liberty Mutual insurance theres an unspoken rule that you have to help your friends move. The least they can do is buy you a nice dinner in return. Try our bourbon street chicken and shrimp. Now under 10 bucks. Only at applebees. Remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Its time to snap out of it. Hello moto. Snap on a jbl speaker. Put a 70 screen on a wall. Get a 10x optical zoom. Get excited world. Hello moto. Moto is here. The moto z with motomods. Get 50 off on moto z droid. Wecagefree eggs. Ng and we care about amazing taste. Because at best foods, were on the side of food. So tasty. Hush my darling. Dont fear my darling. The lion sleeps tonight. [snoring. ] hush my darling. [snoring. ] dont fear my darling. The lion sleeps tonight. [snoring. ] take the roar out of snore. Yet another innovation only at a sleep number store. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is a National Book award recipient, best selling author, and National Correspondent for the atlantic. He wrote the wonderful cover story in the Current Issue of the atlantic entitled my president was black. Please welcome back to the show tanehisi coates, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth thank you for coming back on the show. Thanks for having me back on the show. Seth now, congratulations on this article. Its a fascinating read. Ive read so much about obama over the years, and yet i found i was learning thinking about him in a different way after reading this article. But one of the things you required was access. You sat down with him multiple times. And is it hard to get someone like president obama to agree to spend that much time with a reporter . No, its easy. [ light laughter ] seth you just call him up. Yeah. Actually, and it was hard for me specifically because i think we started trying to get this done in like, 2014. 13, 14, somewhere around then. Well, because i had written things that were kind of critical. Seth sure. And i had been called into these off the record sessions where he was very plain about how he felt about those things that were critical. He was not pleased. [ light laughter ] seth right. So, you know, it wasnt clear to me that he was going to grant that sort of access. You know what i mean . But he read my previous book between the world and me, really liked it. Wrote me a note. We had lunch, and i asked if he would sit, you know, for a series of interviews, and he agreed to do it. Seth before we move on because you spoke to him after the election, and i want to talk to you about that, but do you remember the first time you heard the name barack obama . Yeah. It was when he was running for senate. And i mean, its hard for people to remember this, but before barack obama won in 2004, there had been only two black people postreconstruction that had been in the senate. Edward brooke and Carol Moseley braun also from illinois. So the idea that a black guy was running for senate and might actually win. Named barack obama. People overlook that all the time. Named Barack Hussein obama in 2004, you know, three years after 9 11, it was stunning. Seth yeah. I mean, it was absolutely now that hes president , its like whatever. Senate, that was nothing. [ light laughter ] but it was stunning. I was shocked. I was like, who is this dude, you know . Seth and one of the things you talk about over the course of this article and then even when you spoke to him afterwards, that he has an enduring optimism about this country. And about the people in this country. Right. Seth certainly i think its safe to say less optimism than you have. Probably. [ laughter ] seth yeah. Where do you think that optimism and more than just that optimism, but the fact that the optimism seems unflagging up to this point up to after this election. Well, i think all president s well, i mean, jesus, i guess thats not true. [ laughter ] i was gonna say all president s have to be optimistic. [ laughter ] maybe not. Seth almost all. Almost all. Up until now. And this was the thing he said, you know. All president s have but he had to be optimistic. Lets be very specific. I think he had to be in order for him to be the first africanamerican president. I think it comes out of a couple things. I think not only is the president biracial, but hes actually raised by his white family in a loving home far from the fulcrum of jim crow and segregation in hawaii, not in chicago, not in new york, baltimore, cleveland. Nowhere like that. Like in hawaii. And remarkably by a family that did not feel this urge to make him choose. Told him he was black. Said that was a pretty cool thing. As he said, you know, he felt his mom thought black people were cool. So he didnt grow up with the kind of selfdoubt and selfquestioning not only about, you know, himself, but the sort of questioning i think a lot of us do about white people and their intentions. That was not that was always abstract to him. You know, he understood racism but as it being a personal thing, it wasnt the same. Seth and you talked to him afterwards, and do you think you know, because he still has this trust. And he also had this doubt that this country could elect somebody like donald trump. Is that the same core that youre talking about . That his upbringing did not allow him to think that a person like this could end up being elected . I mean, i dont think it accords with his basic theory. And thats just me speaking right now. Obviously, if he were here, he would Say Something different. But i know that when i talked to him before, he did not think trump could be elected. And part of why he didnt think he could be elected was his, you know, beliefs about the american people. You know, he just thought that it really, really wasnt possible for folks to go you know, and this circles back to what we talked about. You had to be optimistic. You couldnt appeal so some sort of dark, you know, sense. That proved to not be true. Seth you i want to ask about this because i you talk about this idea, and i said it even on the show. You know, in the early days after the election, trying to boil it down, that people who voted for him and then voted for trump, they could not be racist. And that was an idea that i shared and i realize now after reading your article, there was something reductive about that. I was simplifying it. Talk a little bit, because you make this point that in order for a black president and you speak about the optimism like he kind of had to be the perfect candidate. Yeah. Seth whereas white candidates in this country dont have to be. [ light laughter ] i mean, every day something happens. Its like, i just cant imagine, like, a black dude as president standing in front of a memorial for all the cia agents who died talking about how smart he was. Seth yeah. It just doesnt like, that guy couldnt be governor. You know . Much less i mean, every day trump does i cant imagine a black man running for lets just say senator, you know, with a tape coming out about him bragging about having sexually harassed its just not possible to imagine a black donald trump. That really is the difference. Its the bar. The bar is significantly higher. And just really quickly, i think it doesnt say necessarily if you voted for trump that youre a racist. That doesnt necessarily have to be true. Seth of course not. But what is probably true is that trumps appeals to bigotry are not disqualifying. Seth right. And if youre a target of that bigotry, that would make you feel some sort of way about the fact that its not disqualifying. Seth yeah, of course. And i think its fair for people to feel that about people who voted for trump. That you can say that racism is not disqualifying. Right. Seth and that is not insignificant. Right. Seth you wrote that you were shocked that you were shocked about the outcome of this election. Explain exactly what you meant by that. I mean, theres a part of me, you know, that i really wanted and want still, you know, i mean listen, i didnt think barack obama could win. Like, i didnt think there could be a black president. I was wrong. I was very happy to be wrong. Like it was like, you know, this beautiful moment. You know what i mean . Its like people who think say, who believe in global warming. If they were wrong, im sure theyd be very happy to be wrong. Seth right. Itd be a great world to be wrong about Something Like that. Seth of course. This, in a very, very uncomfortable way, i feel like accorded with a lot of what i had been writing. And maybe i theres an intellectual part of me that wanted to believe it, but that believed it, but in my heart, i dont want i would much rather his view of the world be correct. You know, you interview somebody for four and a half, you know, hours, you know, over several sessions, you think, maybe they are right. Seth yeah. Maybe im wrong. You know, and then what happened happened. Seth yeah. And it was not a great night to be right. No. No, no, no. I was not going around crowing. Seth yeah. You know what i mean . Seth one of the things that i am a big fan of is the Different Things you do with your career. You write a piece like this. We talked about this last time. You were about to embark on writing black panther for marvel comics. Youve had an incredible run. Im so glad you do it. And youve got a new one coming out black panther and crew. Right. Seth and this one takes place in harlem . It does. Seth thats fantastic. Yeah. Its awesome. Seth and how has the because you were about to start last time you were here. How is it balancing sort of the very heavy stuff you work on and then also spending time although it should be noted, you have some heavy themes. Right, right, right. Seth this is not the lightest comic book either. [ light laughter ] at least the nice thing is you send it off and someone draws pictures. That must be nice. Right. [ light laughter ] its fun, its exciting. You know whats interesting . For much of my career ive written about, you know, force of racism. These very heavy, divisive issues. It is nothing compared to the response you get when you write comic books. [ light laughter ] the intensity of people who care about ive never seen anything like it. Seth is it a nice intensity . Have you enjoyed it so far . Sometimes its nice. [ laughter ] seth yeah. Sometimes its really nice. I mean, because if they love you, they really, really love you. Seth right. But if they dont, you are the worst thing that ever happened. Period. Seth well, lets hope in our political culture, we never get quite so ramped up that were into comic book world. Right. Seth thank you so much for being back on the show. Thanks for having me. [ cheers and applause ] seth such a pleasure talking to you. Tanehisi coates, everybody. You can read his cover story in the Current Issue of the atlantic magazine and on theatlantic. Com. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] over 1,000,000 californians have gotten something thats been out of reach for far too long Health Insurance. How . They enrolled through covered california. Its the Health Insurance marketplace where youll find a range of plans from leading Health Insurance companies that offer you the best combination of quality, rates, and benefits. And, through covered california, you may get financial help to pay for coverage. To get covered, youve got to get going. Open enrollment ends january 31st. Visit covereca. Com today. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to andy cohen, retta, tanehisi coates, everybody darren king, the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] carson im carson daly, this is last call. Tonight, were back at 235th in new york city, one of our favorite spots
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