House republicans stated that even though they plan to vote on repealing obama care early next year, the actual process to replace the law could take all of Donald Trumps first term. Really . It could take six months . All right. [ laughter and applause ] sources sources say that donald trump attacked vanity fair this morning, because the magazine wrote a negative review of his restaurant, saying it serves garbage food. Even worse you know its accurate because this was the reviewer. [ laughter and applause ] donald trump also attacking vanity fair editor, graydon carter, who is the first to suggest trump has small hands. Funny, with those tiny hands, you would think it would be easier for trump to let go of things. [ laughter ] variety magazine yesterday named Television Coverage of Donald Trumps campaign to be the worst tv of 2016. Are you kidding me . That show had everything. It had passion. Heart break. It had lavish sex. There was a goofy dad. A whacky neighbor. Actually, a bunch of whacky neighbors. It had romance. And the biggest, the biggest twist ending in tv history. Oh, and major a cliff hanger for season 2. Reporters of an old interview in which donald trump allegedly says he likes having people explain things to him in ten words or less. Okay, if you keep skipping security briefings, were all gonna die. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] today in 1791 the bill of rights became law. And on january 20, itll become a suggestion. Peter pan Peanut Butter has been hit with a record 11. 2 million fine for its role in a massive salmonella outbreak. To be fair, peter pan has always been very up front about not wanting kids to grow up. [ laughter ] researchers have six new species living on the sea floor, including a kind of hairychested crab. I think we actually have a photo of the hairychested crab. Oh, there it is. A woman in russia passed away after falling into a tank of melted chocolate. Or as Chris Christie calls it, natural causes. [ light laughter ] and finally, paris is reportedly facing its worst rat crisis in decades. But on the bright side, a lot of great new restaurants. Ladies and gentlemen, weve got a fantastic show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] her spectacular all i want for christmas is you concert is a new york city mustsee. Now through december 17th at the Beacon Theater and mariahs world airs sundays at 9 00 p. M. On E Mariah Carey is here tonight, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] also, he has a fantastic comedy special on netflix, the new york story, colin quinn, one of our favorites is back shown the tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and they are legendary titans of metal and they are here to perform for us tonight, megadeth is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] i challenge you to find anywhere else in new york city where youll get mariah carey and megadeth in the same place. You know, when i came in this morning there were actually some flurries falling. And yu know, it seems like the time of year when you just cant help but wait, im sorry i could be wrong here. But i think i smell some smoke. And that can only mean one thing. Its time for ya burnt. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome to the burn zone. Weve got a lot of topics to sizzle through but not a lot of time. Over here is the burner, lets turn on the gas, and load her up. Woohoo hello, nurse. First up, the three wisemen. Who even are you . If i find out my infant son had three adult male friend id have questions. Oh, good, baby jesus fully grown bros are here, and these gifts you brought. Gold, frankincense and myrrh, just what a baby wants myrrh. Honey, the baby is crying, get the myrrh. Did you forget you were buying for a newborn . Next time just hook a brother up with a binky, a blanky, and a baby bjorn. Ill see you guys wandering around all night trying to find a baby . Thats not a bible story, that an episode of law and order svu. Three wise men wise up to this. Ya burnt. Mistletoe, the bill cosby of plants. Side burn cosby. Sideburn. Seth mistletoe is the tradition that answers the question, what if tinder was just some leaves. Also this is the holiday spent mostly with extended family, do we really need to incentivize on the mouth kissing and no one has gone to the bathroom for 45 minutes because weird cousin gary has been lurking in the door way. Mistletoe . More like mistleno, youre burnt. Christmas carolers, so wait. Youre telling me i get to pause the basketball game i had on and watch an a cappella concert i didnt ask for . Sign me up. [ light laughter ] also, carolers, can someone please tell me what im supposed to do while youre singing . Do you want eye contact . Do you not want eye contact . Do you want me to sing along . Because i do not know good king wenceslas. I dont even know how to say it. Wenceslas . Wen ces las . Wence las . Get an easier to say name, king. But seriously, thank you so much. Without you, i didnt know where i would hear Christmas Music this time of year. By the way, lady in the back, if the scarf guy next to you is your husband, your husband is gay. Hey, carolers get off my porch before i deck you right in the halls. Its beginning to look a lot like ya burnt. Candy canes, finally an after dinner mint that doubles as a choking hazard. Merry christmas kids now suck on this minty fish hook for a while until it breaks off and gores the inside of your mouth. Candy canes, the only thing youre good for is after sucking you for a while can i use you as a prison shiv the next time weird cousin gary tried to get handsy under the mistletoe. Double burn, cousin gary. Double burn. Seth candy canes, go suck yourself, ya burnt. Stocking, hey, whose idea was it to hang flammable clothes over the fire place . Are we trying to frame santa for arson . Why is it the good kids get things in their stockings . It should be the bad kids. Kevin, youve been a real ass ache all year so here you go, an old sock filled with batteries and tictacs. By the way, if anyone can use tictacs, its that creep cousin gary. Triple burn, gary. How is he not in prison . Seth hey stockings, you stink and ya burnt. Snow days, man, snow days are the best. Waking up to hear the guy on the radio saying schools cancelled. Coming downstairs all sockfooted, seeing mom has already made some hot chocolate. Staying cozy and then getting all bundled up. Heading out to throw snowballs at the garage. And thats why snow days are this weeks unburnable. Stay frosty my friends. [ cheers and applause ] gingerbread houses. Hey, gingerbread houses. Lets call you what you are. Shotty Building Materials put together using child labor, i dont know if thats frosting holding this house together or snot because little tommy is coughing up a storm and ive never seen him wash his hands in his life. Gingerbread houses, ya burnt. The 4 30 p. M. Sunset, tis the season for depression, fa la la la la la la la la. Seriously, this is great. Now i can finally enjoy a beautiful sunset while im eating lunch. [ laughter ] the only thing worse than it getting dark at 4 30 is that all of your coworkers seem to have amnesia about it. I cant believe its getting dark so early. Oh, really, judy . You cant believe a thing that has happened every year since the beginning of time is also happening now . [ laughter ] f off judy. Judys just trying to get seth yeah, f off to you too. 4 30 p. M. Sunsets. Ya burnt. Stradle the game that sounds what is it . Dreidel the game thats as fun as it sounds. Here are the rules of dreidel. You just spin the foursided top and whatever side it lands on were all losers. And i dont care what your song says, you did not make that dreidel out of clay. It was made from plastic by a bunch of kids in a chinese factory who have never even heard of chanukah. Also, the goal of dreidel is that jewish kids can horde gold coins . Way to play into the stereotype, dreidel. Does the winner get to retire in florida. Dreidel, youre spinning out and ya burnt. Up next, angels who save christmas. [ buzzard sound ] oh, ruhroh. That buzzer means we have run out of time. This has been ya burnt. Well be back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] i said i really cant stay baby its cold outside i have to go away baby its cold outside i really cant stay baby its cold outside you never know who youll meet at barnes noble. Sir . You give me that salad and i will pay for your movie and one snack box. Can i keep the walnuts . Yes. But i get to pick your movie. Can i pick the genre . Nope. With the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Backed by the service and security of american express. You get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. The spare, no, i dont want to put anybody out. Nonsense we lend it to everybody. Some people we hardly know. So, what would you like . Can i have a 2017 lexus lx 570. With dual Screen Entertainment . Yeah if youre going to wish, wish big at the lexus december to remember sales event. Get up to 2,500 customer cash on select 2016 and 2017 models for these terms. See your lexus dealer. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Our first guest tonight is the best selling female artist of all time. She has 18 number one hits, more than any other solo artist in history. She wraps her all i want for christmas is you Concert Series this saturday at the Beacon Theater. You can also see her docu series, mariahs world, sunday nights on e lets take a look. Dont show me. Show the artwork. Look at this. Its so good. Of course when theres like all these people waiting for you and you have to go on stage, its the priority. But i never want my kids to feel like mommy doesnt put them first. And cut. Seth please welcome to the show, music legend, mariah carey, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] seth thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Seth im so honored to have you here. Its an honor to be here. I have a little cold, so i dont want to get you seth oh, its all right. Once youre in a sleigh with somebody. Its a yeah. Seth and i do want to point out this is our first sleigh interview. Yes, it is. Seth which i felt like we needed to do that for a couple of reasons. One, i feel like you are the queen of christmas. They say that, but thats just a huge title. I cant take that title. Seth you cant take it . No. Seth im the duke of halloween. [ light laughter ] i think less people get offended by that. Seth yeah, thats true. I also wanted to make sure i had you somewhere comfortable because we saw an example of that in the clip. You are the most comfortable looking person on your show. Am i really . Seth well, does is not this happens all the time. Hiking gear. Seth look at that. This is not a onetime thing. Here you are at a different time. We should have laid out the sleigh this way. Seth i know. Im sorry. I mean, the sleigh clearly needed to be this way. Seth you are doing such a nice job. Look at that. Ive never been that relaxed in my life. Its hard work to lay down like this all the time, seth. Seth it is though right . I think thats important to note. Because you look relaxed but it took you a lot of work to get to that place. You got to pull up and stay there. It is what it is. Seth now, you do have this Incredible Christmas song we hear it all the time. Is it your favorite Christmas Song . All i want for christmas is you, it was the first Christmas Song i ever wrote. And is it my favorite . I love all Christmas Songs. Seth you love them all. Come on. Theres a couple of dogs in there. [ light laughter ] i love oh, well, yeah. Seth i mean, are you ever happy when someone starts the 12 days of christmas . Depends who it is. Seth thats true. I guess i wouldnt be bummed if you started. I would say, oh, my god im going to get so much mariah right now. Definitely 12 days. Seth then because you are the expert, the queen, my term, not yours, is it when is it too early to Start PlayingChristmas Songs . I have a whole thing about this. Seth okay, good. Okay, because im a new yorker. We love new york. This is a great place to be at christmas. Although, i go to aspen because im guaranteed snow. Seth okay, gotcha. So i have to have that. Seth you need to have snow . Its kind of a big deal to me. Yes. Seth okay, gotcha. Santa claus comes in a real sleigh with real reindeer. Seth yes, because here in new york he has to take the subway. Yeah. In aspen he just knows the way to my house. Seth well, there you go. Is christmas a huge deal in Mariah Careys household . Of course. Seth you take it super seriously . I do. But we have fun. We go on a sleigh ride. Seth thats good. Lots of things. Yes, were here on a mock sleigh ride. Seth mock sleigh ride, please. You could have come to my sleigh ride and i would have you would have been really seth next time well do a live remote from your sleigh ride. Yes. And we can do like kind of like, even like a bathtub sleigh ride. Like well have clothing, although, it will be like more relaxing. Seth oh, my goodness. Because thats part of it. Seth im so in on this. Every part of this. [ light laughter ] a bathtub sleigh ride. Sign me up. Bathtub sleigh ride with diamonds. Seth didnt know it was a thing now cant stop thinking about it. Now we made it a thing. Seth now we made it a thing. Honey, i have Christmas Plans for next year. Where are you going . Aspen with mariah carey in a bath tub with diamonds. Soaking in a sleigh. Seth i would see heres the thing though. I would be i feel like you would be a person it would be very intimidating to try to buy you a christmas present. One, i feel like you probably have a lot of things you want. And are you a hard person to shop for on christmas . Not really. If you go with like this type of a feeling. Seth gotcha. Im going to be happy. Its festive. Its got red on there. Seth for someone who has ever tried to buy one of those it might be hard though. You know, honestly, i do, i was looking at the pictures and i saw the clip that you guys showed and i was looking at my kids and thats most important. Seth i was watching you were looking at the artwork of your kids. How old are your children . Five. Seth mine, not even a year old. But that is very exciting seeing art they do. Even as an artist. You are an artist on the top charts. When, though be honest, ten years ago before you had kids, if you looked at that and it was someone elses child had drawn it. Oh i would be like, what is that . Seth exactly, right. No, i wouldnt. See people give me gifts and stuff like all the time. Seth oh, yeah. Well, your fans. Yes. Seth and your fans are called lambs . They call themselves lambs. Everybody else made up names for their fans. My fans heard me calling like my friend, hey, lamb, like its our private joke. Long story way too long for the segment. But they heard me say it, hey, lamb, lamby whatever. And they started calling themselves lambs. Seth thats very sweet. And the lambily. They call themselves the lambily. That i gave them. Seth oh, thats nice of you. Well, you know. The least i can do. Seth gotta give something back. The lambs know it. The thing is, they have a name for all these other peoples fans with naming their fans. Seth like the beliebers and stuff like that . No offense to anybody elses fans, but mine came first. Seth you might be in the sleigh with a belieber right now and you wouldnt even know it. They might think im trying to slay them myself. But no. Seth your children names are rock and roe. Thats moroccan and monroe. Seth thats great. And do they have they shown any joy of performance themselves . Yes. At first they were super shy and they didnt want to come on stage. Now they go, we want to go on the stage with mommy. This is miss monroe doing a pose like mommy. Seth there is miss monroe rocking it out. Is that rock sort of lingering in the background . She never does this. He usually takes over and makes the whole thing his show. That night she was on fire. Seth well, there you go. I think they have a very bright future. This is very exciting too. Are you going on tour with Lionel Richie . Yeah. Were going on tour. Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i spoke to him the other day. And its really great, cause hes so legendary and its just kind of like my little moment to be there. And you know, have some fun and see some fans. Seth i just met Lionel Richie for the first time earlier this year. That man looks fantastic. He is the definition of ageless. Is he really . Seth yeah, you know. Why are you asking me . Am i the expert on Lionel Richie in this sleigh . Well, whos never mind. [ laughter ] seth i cant think of a better time to have you here than at christmas time. Having you here back in new york city. I know you have to get to aspen. But thank you for making time for us here. Thank you. Youre not going to magically get me there with this . Seth im going to magically get you there right after this. Give it up to mariah carey, everybody. Mariahs world, airs sunday nights on e well be right back with colin quinn. [ cheers and applause ] [ nutcracker instrumental ] almost. There. Hmmmm. Save ten when you spend fifty on toys at target. You guys rock yeah . Whoaaa its time to givehls the perfect gift so let him be a kid again make her sparkle and help him save the galaxy. At kohls youll save a little more with an extra 15 off and earn a little more with kohls cash so you can give a little more this holiday. Kohls. vo its the holidays at verizon, and the best deals are on the best network. With no surprise overages, you can use your data worry free and even carry over the data you dont use. And right now get four lines and 20 gigs for only 40 per line. Youll even get the iphone 7, the Samsung Galaxy s7, the pixel phone by google, or the motoz droid for only 10 per month. No tradein required. Hurry, these offers end soon. Get the best deals and the best network, only on verizon. But when we brought our daughter home, that was it. Now i have nicoderm cq. The nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release Technology Helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. Its the best thing that ever happened to me. Every great why needs a great how. Iand thanks to target, i got to the after party this nice little outfit just in time using order pickup. Stay fresh get last minute gifts with order pickup at target. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. Give it up for the 8g band right over there. All week long, weve had a talented twotime grammy Award Winning drumming pioneer and a cofounder of metal icon, slayer, sitting in with the great 8g band. Hes also of punk legends, the misfits, suicidal tendencies, and dead cross featuring mike patton. Please give it up for dave lombardo, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] its such an honor having you here this week, dave. Likewise. Seth thank you so much for being here. You got it. Seth our next guest is an emmynominated comedian and an author who you know from saturday night live, and his oneman show, unconstitutional and long story short. His latest colin quinn the new york story is currently streaming on netflix. Please welcome back to the show, our good friend, colin quinn. [ cheers ] seth hi, buddy. Well, with that guys credit, i expected it to be, like, toothless and his head like this. Look at him, a normal guy after all those years. Seth yeah. And 17 psychotic punk and metal bands, you know . Seth no, dave is keeping it together very well. I know. You really held it together. Thank you. Seth you know, i want to talk about you because you im worried about you holding it together. You were supposed to be here a few months back yes. Seth to promote your web series cop show. Yeah. Seth a fantastic show. Oh, god. Seth i got to guest on it this year. Yes, you were amazing on it. Seth thank you. A lot of people told me that. Yeah, a lot of people [ laughter ] but one applause was worse than no applause. I appreciate it though. Seth what is worse . Because you feel like they thought every they only did it because they thought everybody was going to. Yeah. And theyre like, oh, i guess yeah. Seth so, but you hurt yourself. I hurt my achilles. Seth you hurt your achilles . I hurt my achilles. I was playing basketball on the set of an adam sandler movie. [ light laughter ] and and then i just it popped. Seth it popped, and you knew right away . Yeah. Seth had you ever popped an achilles before . No. Seth okay. But, no. But i you know, i was getting along, but like ive been playing it up. I just do a limp a little bit. Seth got you. But i dont really have to at this point. [ light laughter ] seth you like the attention . I just i got to a certain point, like, even, like, i lie about, like, how bad my medical problems are, and i was just told doctors are amazed, like, that you can walk. You know, and then people compare. And the only people i hate now are acl people that have torn acl because i didnt realize the achilles and acl, like, the one thing thats better than the achilles is the acl as far as a worse injury. Seth oh, i see. [ light laughter ] so they, you know, they kind of lured it over you a little bit. So, it is a little bit of a conflict on society. Seth i see. So you would rather have the worst of the injuries, so that you could get the most attention . Yeah, like, when you have ac achilles, people are like, oh, like kobe . And im like, yeah, like kobe. Seth yeah. It feels good, you know. [ light laughter ] and theyre like, that must be hurt painful. And im like, no, you know, its all right. Its not as bad as you think. Im being, like, humble, you know. Seth yeah. And then theyre like, oh, this guy is pretty brave. You know, a stalwart. You know. Seth i want to talk about your great show, new york story. But i want to before we get to that, we have now a new yorker is going to go into the white house. Yeah. [ light laughter ] seth how do you feel about this . What is your reaction to the election of donald trump . Well yeah, but he got elected by he got elected by not new yorkers. He got elected by mostly red states, you know . Seth yeah. And, yeah. But, i mean, its partially i blame show business, our peers. And because apparently carpenters at the they dont like civics lessons from people on the red carpet, okay . You cant tell the sheet metal worker in wisconsin to acknowledge his privilege. They dont like that. Seth no, they dont. I think theres going to be a civil war. Seth you do . And how would a civil war manifest itself in the modern era . Online. Seth online . [ laughter ] oh, yeah, i think we will break up. Think it is, like, six countries. Like the big east, you know, the pac 10. Its gonna be, like, broken up into divisions, like the ncaa. [ light laughter ] seth and then, will there at least be a bowl period around the holidays so where we can face off against each other . Yes, i like that. Yeah, the wars will be bowl games. Seth and do you what do you think its a good idea. We can put together, like, a bad movie, like a movie that seems good until you see it. Seth oh yeah, thats right. And the bowls not even that great. Seth a we can go in, and we can sell that idea immediately. Yeah, exactly. Seth and then, three years of turning in scripts and them saying, i thought it would be funnier. So you what do you think the relationship is between mike pence and donald trump . Because these are two very different guys. Thats the other when i say civil war, there is going to be, like, ten Different Countries going on in the united states. Were too big, you know . Seth yeah. 13 colonies, and then, we should separated every other but because pence and trump, thats another conflict on the way. Pence, its like, its like, the christian, like the real hes a real republican. And trumps guys are gonna be like midtown steakhouse, you know . Seth right. Guys putting each other in head locks, and, like, you know. You know, guys trying to find a grammy dropped on the ground at the holiday party, basically for you know, Goldman Sachs holiday party. Seth and are you concerned about the role russia played in this election . Is that something no, because we already have we dont need the cia because we already got nobody understands the way i understand whats going on. Its we already have our cia guy over there. Who just scammed the big citizen in russia . Seth i dont know. Who did . Steven seagal. Seth oh, right. Steven seagal is now officially a russian citizen. Trump will be like, a tremendous guy, tremendous guy doing fantastic work. Steven, whats going on . Hes doing a wonderful, wonderful job . Wonderful, fantastic. And, those go back and forth. Seth the fact that we just dont have to worry about it because trump will talk to putin. Sorry folks. Im not an impressionist. [ laughter and applause ] seth youre being way too hard on yourself. Its okay. [ applause ] seth they did there was that moment of, oh, were about to see a master impression of trump talking to seagal. And they got all right on the edge of their seats. I know. Seth then you just let them down. I know. But, you know, i was trying my joke was trying to say, like, they both sound the same. Seth yeah. Thats really what i was selling. [ light laughter ] if i could do the impressions, i would have done them. I actually went on i thought of it today. And i was literally on youtube for 20 minutes, and you feel bad. Im not responding. Trying to, like, get seagals voice. Seth wait. That was the practiced impression we just saw . Yes. [ laughter and applause ] seth that was researched researched and practiced . I literally 20 minutes there, i was like, you know what . We are on youtube and watch seagal and try to get it. Seth yeah. And now we see the response. [ laughter ] seth this is i see i didnt get it. Seth yeah. Thats how comedy works. Seth so sometimes you got to watch the cow get slaughtered, right . Seth there you go, absolutely. New york story, which is a fantastic oneman show. I loved it when i saw it. Thanks. Seth but you had an actual new york story happen on a subway recently. Oh, yeah. I go on the subway. I go i go down the subway. You know . So im on the subway. Thes guy is playing neil young, a young kid, playing a neil young song. Im the only guy in the entire car thats old enough, white enough to really appreciate a neil young song. [ light laughter ] seth right. You know what i mean . Its, its seth its for you. Its, like, your yeah, exactly. Its not seth your pandora station. Yeah. [ light laughter ] yes, perfect. So the kid comes by, you know. Everybody is ignoring him. I throw him a 5. Its not 50. You know, its not that kind of story. And i give him 5 bucks. Im in a metro cart. Im on the subway. [ light laughter ] and then i give him 5, and i didnt think he noticed me. Just walking by and takes the 5, and he goes, hey, man, thanks. I knew it was just a character you played being a dick on tv. [ laughter ] i shouldve snatched that 5 right back from him. [ laughter ] he was a little guy, too. But i admire that more when somebody small has this attitude like that. Seth yeah. Anybody big can be like that, but when youre small, its you know. Seth you talks a lot about new york has a lot of unique people with attitudes. True. Seth including one of my favorite, that new york has middleclass snobs. Yeah, yeah. Seth theyre unique. Bluecollar snobs. Seth bluecollar snobs. Yeah, its the only city where even people, like you can go on vacation everywhere else, people come and are like, oh, when they go on new york people go on vacation just to tell people how its not as good as new york. Theyll be like, we have pizza. Theyre like, thats not new york pizza. Its like, yeah, you know, youre in italy. I dont care. Its still not new york pizza. [ laughter ] thats not a new york bagel. What kind of bagel is that . Its the wrong water. Thats what everyone says. Its the wrong water youre using. And were telling people that water is like out waters filthy. Seth yeah. Theyre like, you dont have the right water. One time, i was in l. A. In the 90s, and Cathy Moriarty had, like, a pizza place, shes an actress and she had this pizza place, mulberry pizza and even, like, on the tonight show, jay leno would be like, oh, they use new york water. And thats why the pizza tastes so good. Mulberry street, its called. So one time, im in there i used to talk to her all the time we were, like, friends. And i go, hey, is it true you use new york water, and thats why the pizza is different . She just stopped and gave me, like, the most disgusted look. She goes, colin, think about it. You think we ship water in . [ laughter ] well, how . By truck or plane everyday . And i was like, oh, good point. Seth you also note that new yorkers do not even on vacation, they do not ask people for information. No, thats how you tell whos the tourist. The tourists in new york, excuse me, wheres the museum . Excuse me, wheres the subway . People in new york accuse you of information. Where did you get the coffee . [ laughter and applause ] and then, they go [ applause ] and then they want the review. You go, down there. Is it good . [ light laughter ] you have to leave because they come back. Who is that guy who said this was good . Its not good. [ light laughter ] seth your show is very much about immigrants and this sort of immigrant experience. Immigrante. Dont know what that accent was. [ light laughter ] folks, if you came, and you wanted colin to do some impressions or something, maybe thats your problem. I wore my holiday sweater. You know, im looking festive. What do you want . Seth thats not. No, go ahead. Seth thats barely holiday. Thats maroon. What seth dont feel like that has the red the robust redness of a holiday sweater. Oh, thats right. I dont know what yeah, you know. I dont know what kind of guest youre getting on here, but a guy like me this is pretty holiday. Seth one of the things you talking about is this city nobody in the misfits wore this sweater. No. [ laughter ] do you guys ever wear holi never. Yeah. Cbgbs 1983. Never. Hey, its our christmas show. Lets put on a holiday sweater. [ light laughter ] seth youre right. I know. Seth compared to the misfits, this is very holiday. Thank you. Seth obviously, there is so much discussion about immigrants. Right. Seth and there was such a role in this election. Your show sort of celebrates in a great way. Yeah. Seth both that this is a city of immigrants, and that immigrants have gotten along and also dont like each other and also youre right. Seth live together, and it has become a thriving city. I mean, what is your do you feel like were that can sustain itself, not just here, but everywhere else . This idea that, yeah, if people from a bunch of different places makes new york great, it can make anywhere great no, i told you that were gonna have a civil war. Seth thats right. Oh, i forgot the war. There was no optimism there. Were gonna have six seth all right, the pac 10, big 10. You know, how are you going to pitch this movie if were halfway through, and youre like if people do get along, and ill be like [ laughter ] seths been really working hard. When do a daily show, youre under a lot of pressure. Seth okay, there we go. Thats not a conflict. Seth civil war, six conferences. There should be one they are, like, independent conferences . Because, you know, like the pac 10 right. Seth that covers. We know what that covers. Right. Seth but then, i feel like, theres, like because notre dame, unaffiliated. Oh. Seth so do we have part of the country that is like our independent college . Yeah, well, you know, im glad you said that because youre right. Theres, theres, theres, like, blue states. Theres blue cities in red states. Seth right. Austin, texas. Seth austin, texas. Charleston. Seth yup, so those staten island. Seth yeah, there you go, right . Staten island. [ laughter ] know what i mean . Seth it goes both ways, yeah. It goes both ways. It goes both ways, sure. Seth were gonna write a hell of a screenplay here. I know. We are. I know, were just gonna write a pitch. Seth yeah, well just write a pitch, sell it, and then give it to somebody else to write it. Thank you so much for wearing your holiday sweater. Its so great having you here. Thank you. Seth always a pleasure. [ cheers and applause ] colin quinn, everybody. Thank you. Seth the new york story is streaming on netflix, and watch cop show. Im wornderful in it. Yes. Seth on lstudio. Com well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] theres no one id [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to late night. We are less than two weeks away from christmas and things are starting to get really festive at rockefeller plaza. Here to spread even more holiday cheer. Please welcome two elves. [ cheers and applause ] seth hey, merry christmas, you guys. Merry christmas, seth. Happy holidays. Im meredith. And im meredith as well. Seth okay. Thank you guys so much for stopping by. What are you doing in town . We had to fix a light that went out in the rockefeller tree and decided to make a day of it in new york. Seth all right. Well, were so happy to have you. How are you enjoying the city . New york is good. The m m store was fun, but your rudolph sucks. Seth sorry our rudolph . Giuliani. Seth oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, quick question, have you guys been looking over everybodys christmas list . Yes, seth, we got your letter, but were sorry. Santa just cant give you a better butt. We make toys. Youre just gonna have to hit the gym like everyone else. Maybe layoff the sugar a bit. Seth hey, youre the one with the hot chocolate. A you cannot call her that. I am not with him. [ laughter ] seth im sorry, what . We are not a couple. I told you we would get caught. Seth im sorry. There is so much for me to unpack here. First of, i was talking about your cocoa. I was not calling her hot chocolate. Oh. Of course you were. Is it too late to pretend this didnt happen . Seth yeah. Seth, this cant get out. I have a family. We both do. Seth oh, wait. So you guys are together . We didnt mean for it to happen. We kissed once. And had sex twice. [ light laughter ] seth wait, so one of the times you had sex, you didnt kiss . No, no, it was three separate incidents. We tried kissing once. But we didnt like it. Then we tried having sex and it was great. It was just like the tree with all the lights. We got caught up in the moment. Seth wait you had sex at Rockefeller Center tree . Oh, no, no, no. We had sex in the Rockefeller Center tree. Yes, if youre a tourist who took photos between noon and 2 30 today please do not have them enlarged. Seth oh, man. Seth, were both married. You gotta promise not to tell anybody. Seth not to tell anyone this is on tv tonight. Quick sing something expensive so we can afford to air this. [ singing ] seth no, no. Stop it. Stop it. Whats it going to take, meyers . You want that ass . We can get you that ass. You can take mine. Its smooth, and its hairless and its tight as a drum. And i can attest to that. Ra pum pum pum. Seth okay, no, i dont. This interaction has taken a turn that i do not care for. Look. Its not my fault, seth. Im a neglected woman. My husband used to make love to me every night. But now he just looks at me with those two eyes made out of coal and theres nothing there. Seth wait, is your husband frosty the snow man . No, vladimir putin. Seth oh, yeah. Okay, well, im sorry, but, you two are finished. Well be right back with music from megadeth. [ cheers and applause ] no, im sleeping with them too seth youre sleeping with all of them . When it comes to healthcare, seconds can mean the difference between life and death. For partners in health, time is life. 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Wow, what an exhausting journey. Thats a good wedding present. Good call. With the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Backed by the service and security of american express. [ cheers and applause ] seth my next guests are thrash metal pioneers and are wrapping up 2016 with a bestmetalperformance grammy nomination here to perform their grammynominated song, dystopia, please welcome, megadeth. [ cheers and applause ] what you dont know the legend goes cant hurt you if you only want to live and die in fear they tell us to believe just half of what we see and absolutely nothing that we hear resist the twist the truth no matter what the cost supplant the rights with wrongs inside our heads outlawing all the questions to the answers that no one likes when someone winds up dead dystopia dystopia dystopia dystopia what you dont know the legend goes cant hurt you if you only want to live and die in a cage theres panic and theres chaos rampant in the streets where useless thoughts of peace are met with rage demoralize and overmastered people think the quickest way to end a war is lose dictatorship ends starting with tyrannicide you must destroy the cancer at its root dystopia dystopia dystopia dystopia [ cheers and applause ] seth megadeth, everyone. The album, dystopia, is out now. Check out latenightseth. Com for another great performance of their classic track, tornado of souls. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] hi, its me. [imitates fanfare] lois prices from Grocery Outlet. Hi, its. The rest of us hey there. Hi hey. Loifor over 60 years now, Grocery Outlet has been selling the brands you know and love, for up to 60 less than what youd pay at Traditional Grocery stores. And check this out. Lois weve got meats and produce, naturals and organics, at prices thatll make you wanna sing. Good thing weve got a really catchy theme song. Hit it Grocery Outlet bargain market bargain market. Now its stuck in my head. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to mariah carey, colin quinn, megadeth, everybody. Dave lombardo, the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] carson good evening and welcome to tonights last call. Im carson daly. Ive got a good one for you. Lets get right into it. Coming up on our spotlight