Q ju a right now, on cozi tv. Ah, to be in hawaii, enjoying the view. To meet the perfect hero. To have a great hair day, every day. Got ya. And to get a taste of the good life, touring your dream home, crashing opening nights, having celebrities drop by your stoop, and getting all those nagging household problems fixed in a flash. It all happens on cozi tv, a new tv network. Youre about to see memorable moments from your favorite shows, with special effects. And, oh, yes, rules for living a cozi life. If youre a really good looking guy, with a ferrari, chicks dig you. Featuring our cast of experts. If i was a dude, i would break the law, just so i could fight with charlies angels. Bring it on, angels so, sit back, relax, and get comfy. Our top ten cozi countdown starts right now. Number ten when its a great hair day, its a great day, period. Charlies angels, three beautiful shedetectives, with courage, brains, toughness, no b. S. , and, oh, yeah, a great head of hair. Whether they were running, fighting, about to jump in a pool, even coming out of the pool, i mean, love scenes, no matter what they were doin, always had fabulous hair. Its impossible to talk about women on tv and not talk about Farrah Fawcetts hair. Her hair was bigger than life. It was life. You know, kate jackson has that cute, little, short bob. And right now, still, today, a bob, like, for a woman in new york city, is almost like, shes more powerful, shes more sleek, shes fashion forward, shes sophisticated. Their fullbodied, ultra glam, hotrolled curls sparked a revolution. Because of these shows, like the bionic woman and charlies angels, i knew how to use curlers, every kind of them. The foam curlers, the ones you plug in and they wrap around, the velcro rollers. I knew how to use all of those by fifth grade. Speaking of angels, on highway to heaven, Michael Landon played one. My pleasure he was on a mission from god, and with his trusted sidekick, traveled from town to town to help the lost find their way back to the highway to heaven. So, naturally, he needed a hair halo. Now, Michael Landon had what i would call, like, a sex helmet. Like, i would liken his hair to that, cause its like, it didntdidnt really move. It was just, there was so much hair, you know . It was like 90 of his whole body was hair, right . You cant talk tv hair without a nod, or a bark. [barks] to lassie. The courageous collie spent every waking minute saving her bffs, timmys, life. Lassie had amazing hair. What i like about her, is shes the kind of girl you could just stroke and stroke all day long, and not end up in h. R. How many millions of women, and a few men, fantasized about magnum p. I. s mustache . It might just be the manliest moustache of all time. Tom selleck doesnt have a mustache. Hes got a push broom stuck to his lip. If you had a cool car like magnum, and a moustache, you were, like, definitely gonna get the ladies. And remember when bad perms were, um, good . Oh, my word its fantastic when Jaime Sommers got a perm, and she liked it, i thought, wow. They must be a sponsor of the show. It was ludicrous she looked like the sasquatch person that she was gonna go toetotoe with in another scene. [growling] number nine silly stunts. When a devastating car accident leaves Jaime Sommers at deaths door, her only hope of survival is top secret technology that transformed her into the bionic woman. And, apparently, the first female cyborg sometimes had a soft approach to violence. So, the bionic woman, uh, throws a teddy bear at a guy, a sniper in a helicopter, and knocks him out of the helicopter, from i dont know how many yards away. Like, three football fields, and a plush toy hits his leg, and he fall im like, were your legs made out of cotton candy . Stop i have a stuffed animal, you nazi. Who does this . But, when it came to home economics, she was the ultimate cleaning machine. Well, because i have to juggle so many things, i shoot open house, the live show. Im a new mom, i have a husband, everyones hungry all the time. If i had the powers that the bionic woman had, i think i could do it all a little bit easier. Jaime sommers, first of all, was a great cook. She was the bionic betty crocker. She can cook without a mixer, and she can roll pastry dough a million miles a minute. The bionic womans cyborg partner in fighting crime, the six Million Dollar man, was no stranger to silly stunts. A lot of the stunts also were done by lee majors himself. He did have stunt doubles, uh, when they were the more difficult ones. On the rescue, its all about getting things done fast, and i know the six Million Dollar man is quite handy himself. I mean, ive seen him sawin boards. Ive seen him puttin in fence posts with his bare hands. I mean, ive tried to rip out fence posts with my bare hands. It didnt go so well. He can build, he can cut, he can hammer, and, uh, he does it at, like, mock speed. We cant leave out charlies angels. Kris hows this for a stunt . If you think escaping a bad guy via skateboard is easy, youre sadly mistaken. Farrah fawcett on that skateboard, the ultimate and the original extreme sport. I couldnt get away from my grandmother on a skateboard, and she is outrunning a truck. The best thing about it is, shes able to ride a skateboard on grass. Its an allterrain skateboard. What . Coming up, the most dramatic fight scenes, ever. Ah plus, hot, hotter, and even hotter. They would never wear guyliner. These were, like, dudes who could, like, stomp on, like, a car. When our cozi countdown continues. Its the cozi tv top ten countdown for living a cozi life. At number eight doomsday is here. In six hours, all life will begin to die on this planet. Just give us an hour or two, and well save the world. In every episode of any one of these shows, doomsday is right around the corner. A doomsday device has been triggered, and only the bionic woman can attempt to break through the defenses held up by super computer, alex 7000. Its over, alex it wont be over until i win. Too bad that computer wasnt siri, because it wouldve understood what jaime was asking, and it couldve found her a great place to get a latte. What happens when you have three angels and three bombs . One of the best doomsday plots ever. When you snip the white wire, the thing goes boom. If it doesnt go boom, youve got somewhere between ten seconds and one minute to get rid of it the angels have to go on a luxury cruise and disarm these bombs, thats gonna explode the boat, including bosley, all the people on the boat, and all their clothes. Number seven in a world moving way too fast, embrace a different pace. The slowmo pace. Without question, to this date, in my opinion, the coolest thing on tv the slow motion on the six Million Dollar man and the bionic woman. In both the six Million Dollar man and the bionic woman, i never totally understood why, when theyre running fast, they go slowmo. They cant perform their incredible acts unless you see it super slow, with some twangy, cool music in the background. Very good. Because half the show is in slow motion. Every time theres a fight scene. Every time theyre running somewhere. And they didnt just Foil International terrorist plots. They also got frisky in slow motion. If you got a bionic man and a bionic woman, theyre like the bionic adam and eve. They ran through fields in slowmo. They jumped over fences in slowmo. They made out in slowmo. Thats what i didnt really understand. Were they making out in hyperspeed . Because slowmo always means hyperspeed, when it comes to them. [laughing] the pillow fight scene. When you see those pillow feathers floating about slowly, i had to wonder about that myself. You know, maybe theres a bionic field that surrounds them, so that, whatever is nearby is caught in that bionic field. And, suddenly, everything just slows down. Right now, at number six. Brawls and bruises. That masked hombre talks big. Lets get him, boys. Learn their weak spots and take em out with one punch. Dont mess with the lone ranger. Extexas ranger and masked man, with his trusted horse, silver, and his buddy, tonto. Theyd fight injustice in the old wild west. Thats every western. Theres always a bottle breaking over somebodys head. Theres always, you know, a fisticuff happening somewhere, but not normally by a guy who looks like hes in an s m video, and thats what made it special. I love the lone ranger because i actually grew up in the wild west, and i always wanted to be a cowboy. With my tengallon hat, my pistol, hangin out with my best friend, tonto, on his, you know, painted horse. Charlies angels were forever getting kidnapped. Like, every single show. Angels were always in jeopardy. One was always kidnapped, oror hijacked, or, you know, put a belt around that was supposed to explode. They may not have been trained to anticipate personal danger, but they damn well knew what to do when it arrived. If i was a dude, i would break the law, just so i could fight with charlies angels. Bring it on, angels i love the dramatic fight scenes from all of these. Karate chop, punch keep going, jump on something. And suddenly, theyre, like, unconscious. When it comes to dramatic fights, cyborg six Million Dollar man and the bionic woman had one thing in common big foot. [growling] that was the First Episode i saw as a kid. Big foot was an alien, and that weve been observed by aliens forfor centuries, and steve stumbles upon their complex, when he and osco are in the mountains. I love how lindsay wagner, as the bionic woman, overtakes the entire animal kingdom. From sharks to big foot. You know, is big foot an animal . Is this big foot . So then, he hallucinates that shes somebody else. We have a hallucinating sasquatch. That was delicious back then, wasnt it . Sasquatch, trust me, please. For Jaime Sommers, big foot had nothin on fembots. Ah when you really think about it, it seems a little bit over the top for jaime to have that crazy reaction. I mean, she screams that bloodcurdling scream. Ah its like, jaime, is it that farfetched that this woman might be a robot . You are half robot. Coming in at number five rules to live by. You can learn a lot from tv. Usually when you werent meant to. I love the rules to live by, in magnum p. I, because its like, he leaves the navy, hes 33, and he knows that hes never been 23. So, the secret to life is, like, you gotta have fun. You gotta kick back. Its 5 00 somewhere, right . I totally respect magnum for doing that, and going back, andand just living his life, cause you only have one. Some of the best lessons i have learned from the bionic woman are, live life in slow motion. If a computer gives you trouble, pour water on it. Goodbye, alex the main takeaway from lassie is, if you wanna look like a hero, always hang out by a well. God, parents, watch your kids. They are getting into a lot of trouble. And, really, if you need a dog to save the day, youre probably a bad parent. What i learned from charlies angels, was to always have great hair and wear a good bra. What ive learned from charlies angels, is that i would always be inadequate. I would never have my own jaclyn smith collection at kmart. I would never have hair like farrah. I would always be fatter than kate. But, i did know that i could get a boyfriend like charlie, who would never have to look at me. Coming up. Powerful ladies showing up the boys. You know, behind every great man, theres a great woman. Plus. Theres an old polish proverb that says, if your socks are not in your shoes, dont look for them in heaven. What . When our cozi countdown continues. re counting downat . To number one, on our top ten countdown for living a cozi life. At number four awesome catch phrases. [dog barking] oh, my god theres an old polish proverb that says. Hello, angels. Roy rogers featured the king of the cowboys, and the queen of the cowgirls, and one heck of a memorable theme song. Happy trails to you who could forget roy rogers . Happy trails to you, and you. Even before, you know, charlies angels or the bionic woman, we have dale evans. You know, roy rogers sidekick. Shes writing that hit song. Happy trails to you that was a real pop hit. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. Better, stronger, faster. This is classic. They say, we have the technology. Well rebuild him, in a very serious tone, which i just think is hysterical. Even if you werent a fan of the show, if you hear those words, you know, steve austin, astronaut, you know, a man barely alive, automatically, you know its the six Million Dollar man. Hello, angels. When you hear hello, angels, or good morning, angels, what you wanna do, is do exactly what those three women did, which was, you just kinda got really comfy in the seat, and you just waited to hear what was gonna be laid out. Hiyo, silver away yolo is a catchphrase that kinda, like it means you only live once yolo. Hiyo, silver you never leave and go, hiyo im out. Oh, my god you know, wouldnt you hate to be higgins, to have to be around that guy all the time, with the speedos and the beer . I think higgins shouldve gotten combat pay. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn. When a crime proved too difficult for insurance investigators to solve, they called suave freelance insurance investigator, thomas banacek, who only took on the impossible case. And, as a bonus, delivered classic sayings. Theres an old polish proverb that says, only the centipede can hear all the hundred footsteps of his uncle. What . Although a hippopotamus doesnt have a stinger in its tail, would rather be sat on by a bee. That one made sense to me. Okay, as im reading these sayings, im concerned, because theyre starting to make sense to me, or they actually make sense to me, like this one. Only someone with something to be sorry about smiles at the rear of an elephant. Okay, now it doesnt make sense to me. [laughing] if the butterfly had teeth like the tiger, it would never make it out of the hangar. Why does that make perfect sense to me . Oh, yeah these sayings are stupid. Heres number three, on cozi tv girl power. Its known you can tackle anything, because youre a woman. The bionic woman and charlies angels were among the first tv dramas to feature a Strong Female heroine. We really had nobody on television who could become our hero role model. They came along at a time when you really didnt see women as superheroes, as crime fighters, as saving the day, and they showed that women, you know, we can kick butt, too. And nothing says girl power like this. Now, some teachers feel that the best way to get respect from their students, is to threaten them. A show like the bionic woman is, on the high end, inspirational. Women can kick butt. On the low end, you have to be a machine to make it happen. So, a little unrealistic. Ah dale evans, from roy rogers, was a pretty tough chick, too. She was a cowgirl, but every inch the modern woman. [gunshot firing] [laughing] behind every great man, theres a great woman. For women to then watch this, or young girls to watch this, it was really inspiring, cause then they thought, i can do this, too. Number two sex appeal. Feeling sexy means feeling confident, feeling strong, feeling good all over. No fever at all this time. Oh, i feel like i just got a good grade in school. Marcus welby, m. D. The straighttalking but compassionate family doctor. Before there was George Clooney and er, before there was mcdreamy, there was dr. Kiley, and women swooned. On his motorcycle, too . Oh, please, hes a bad boy and a doctor . Oh everybody wins. Yes, it was dr. Welbys show, and, yes, he was the one with the skills to solve complex medical problems. But when aspiring neurologist, dr. Steven kiley, drove up on his motorcycle, thats what got a womans Blood Pressure spiking. What kind of doctor wears such nice suits . I never seen a doctor wear such a nice suit. So, he knows how to drive a motorcycle. House calls he can make a house call. James brolin has to be the ultimate hunk of burning love. It makes you wanna have a kidney stone. He makes you wanna have appendicitis. He makes you wanna have varicose veins. You just wanna go there immediately and have him help you. Charlies angels, they kicked butt and looked good doing it. You know, charlies angels was all about sex, and sex appeal, and beautiful women, and beautiful clothes. Charlies angels. There was the smart one, the athletic one, and the sexy one. Which one would you be . The sexy one wed all be the sexy one. The guys would want the sexy one. Its the sexy one. No one does sexy like magnum p. I. , and no one can get away with wearing short shorts like him, either. The thing about these, like, the dudes from these shows, like the six Million Dollar man and magnum p. I. , its like, they were testosterone. Twodimensional testosterone. Its like, i never seen a guy with that much muscles and hair, you know . It was like kind of being attracted to saskatchewan, but theyre dudes. The lone ranger, hed show up out of nowhere, beat up the bullies, fix everything that was wrong, and ride off. You never saw his face, and he never wanted to stay for dinner. I dont know if i find the lone ranger sexy per se. Now that im thinking about it, kinda kinky, actually. If we could combo magnum p. I. And the lone ranger, thatd be my superhero. I mean, id have a fathead of him on my wall, today. Up next, were revealing the number one rule for living a cozi life, when our cozi countdown continues. Welcome back to our top ten cozi countdown for living a cozi life. Youve seen some memorable and hilarious moments from your favorite shows. From awesome catch phrases, to great hair, these shows had it all. And coming in at number one, its time to get a little cozi. After all, we are cozi tv, and were all about making you feel calm, good inside, and, of course, cozi. So, what makes you feel cozi . I grew up watching charlies angels. I had two sisters. So, we always felt like we were charlies angels. It was the three of us. We really knew our way around a curling iron. Look, when i watch tv, i actually dont wanna stress out. I really dont want, like, my pulse to be, like, increasing, you know . A lot of todays shows, im, like, sweating, and im, like, upset. Sometimes, i just wanna, like, chill. It sounds funny, but i feel cozi seeing the lone ranger, out there on the horizon. I think he looks beautiful. A real cozi moment is the fireplace romantic scene. Theres always a scene in all these shows where somebodys by a fireplace, and theyre either lying down on some type of fabric, not unlike this, mkay . And theyre having wine, and theyre talking. And ive always wanted to do that, and i never have. You know what, im gonna im gonna set my furniture on fire when i get home, and tell my wife to lay on the floor. Marcus welby, even though my great love was james brolin, and i knew that if i were ever ill, that he would be there for me, i also knew that marcus welby would be looking at all the lab results, to make sure that mr. Sexy didnt make any mistakes. With a show like the bionic woman or charlies angels, youre gonna get a really nice, little, neat package by the end of those 60 minutes. Theyre gonna be saving the world, kicking some guys ass, looking awesome doing it. I dont know. Theres something incredibly comforting about it. Its kind of like the mac and cheese of tv. Thats all for our top ten countdown for living a cozi life. Head to cozitv. Com to check out the lineup and hilarious outtakes. Cozi tv its the easiest decision youll make all day. After all, we are cozi tv