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How do you do a good evening and welcome to the jumbo had a job for Westwood One Radio we're at 186650 Jimbo 1866 viable 546261 line by the secure bow had a job dot com You can follow me on Twitter at Jim Botox We welcome to the jumbo hadn't showed Jaclyn new but a New York based divorce lawyer and author to talk a bit about the matter of divorce never a pleasant subject but one that we should probably be acquainted with even though it's not what we like to talk about because sometimes unpleasant things pop in the your life and at that point you would be better off to be a prepared so Ms Nuland thank you for being with us thanks so much for having me 1st of all I've heard it said that the end of the year is the divorce season is that true. Do they actually in January call it the worst month I think of you know the at the end of the year is that when you're People don't really want to move forward with their good work or don't want to interrupt their holiday but then when they get through the holiday Janjaweed think it worth month Wow And why is that New Year New Year's resolution time is fresh start I mean I'd guess I'm trying to understand the mentality at work here. I think it's a lot of that I think a lot of people don't want to you know start the next year the way they ended the last one and really what happens is that if you're thinking about wanting to get the Laureus hearing at the end of the year when their holiday season when you have you know children home from school you don't want to ruin somebody's you know Christmas as they say don't want to you know some and sort of course somebody stocking so a lot of people week for the end of the year and also it year end bonus is another reason why people want to sometimes wait and then come the new year people become they want to be educated about what the rest of what it would look like to actually report the divorce when you have a divorce the old cliche of course is that the husband loses a lot there's the the wife loses a lot and the attorneys get everything yeah there's a little bit of truth to that you know divorce is a very hard process for everyone and I think when emotions run high people can be illogical and a lot of times that's what can meet a high attorney's fees when you have everybody that kind of can't focus on settlement or just really focus much more so on you know hurting each other you have to put together a list of 10 things that women need to know who are thinking about to divorce Ok let's plunge into those one of these these things that women I guess as opposed to Ben the dyno. Well I mean I think that there's a lot of things that people in general you know whether it be a man or woman but generally you know I think that one of the big things that you want to start thinking about is you know why why would you want to get divorced Are you sure you want to get divorced that's the other really thing that's very important I think when talking about divorces you think about are you ready to get divorced and if you are and you think that you are one of the things and I will say this probably falls more into women than men but men probably feel strongly about this as well is that you know the issue of where you are you ready to not have your children with you all the time I mean that's one of the big issues and one of the big questions I asked my clients and they say that they're ready to divorce they say Ok what are you ready for your children not to be with you on Christmas morning because that's not going to happen every year or they're just not going to sleep under your loose and if people say they're not ready for something like that then I usually say you're not ready for divorce that's probably one of the biggest questions that you want to ask and one of the things that you want to think about you know when deciding if you're ready to get the boars Ok What else are important considerations. So there's also financial considerations you need to think about you know are you ready to financially live a different life than what you're living right now because as they say it's more expensive to have 2 households someone and so you want to think about whether you know when somebody's you know there are a lot of people that stay in marriages simply because of the fact that it's expensive to get divorced and they enjoy their lifestyle and they're not really ready to make that shift so when you're looking at finances you need to think again am I ready to do this if you are another thing you need to consider is getting your financial house in order is like that so another thing that people want to think about you know and getting divorced is whether they you know are aware of their finances if they're not aware their finances it doesn't mean that obviously they can't afford the divorce I call that being in the financials are so at that point it's really important to try to become as aware as possible start paying attention you know look at the tax returns start looking at bank statements that come into the house you know just are trying to become financially where have conversations if you're comfortable doing so you know and I do have a lot of clients that come into my office and don't know anything about the finances and I say look we can find out when you're preparing for divorce that is probably another thing that you watch is really start doing if you can you know it sounds like you're turning down a lot of business I mean it does sound very public spirited and I applaud you but every time you talk people out of divorce you've talked yourself out of the money. You know that's fair a lot of people think that at me they say another group not a great business but the way I look at it again that wasn't well hard and only want to go through it if you are absolutely sure that this is what you want to deal with and very hard to turn back when it's most inexpensive the financial expenses and therapy go they're expensive and so you know for me there's a lot of people that are so they want to get the word that you know we're not hurting their business here with a 50 percent divorce rate but I'm perfectly comfortable not putting anyone where they're worth the money they're 100 percent not right very good in general. Because looking at this tidal wave it seems of divorces What's the major factor that would people come to you and say I want to file for divorce from my spouse. Exhibits there's a catch all phrase in compatibility is it is it money is it bedroom issues cheating what seems to be the major factor that's causing this acceleration of the divorce rate. You know I think there's a few different things but one of the things I think that there's just such a breakdown in communication between people that just didn't meet this before I think that that's you know when people ask me what causes divorce I see a lot of this breakdown in communication you can have you know when people get married let's say they're both staking us for the time that people come into my office once it's 1st and speaking was Sahili and the other person speaking Portuguese they're just completely not on the same page anymore and that really needs to break down but really I think the other issue that's going on and why divorce rates I think are probably you know actually that some are saying that they're decreasing and there's a whole you know theory behind that site I think that it's failed expectations so a lot of people go into marriage having certain expectations of either what the marriage should be as a whole or what their spouse should be and when those expectations are not met I think that that really lead to disappointment with these anger which can lead to controlling issues which can lead to issues in the bedroom and can lead to issues you know in money and everything else so it kind of what happens is it just spirals it's a case of a source Go ahead please finish your thought but I was going to say and I think social media plays a role into that as well because I think that you know everybody looks on Facebook and sees what they see to be these amazing marriages and learn marriage doesn't fall perfect but I call Facebook perfect. Puts them in a position where again expectations are just not being met are those met expectations the result of people just not living up to a normal standards or are there is that the result of unreasonable expectations. I think there's a little bit of both I mean it's hard to know what normal is normal standards at this point but I do think that. The case and the marriage are very unreasonable I think people have been living happily ever after when it's not exactly like that all the time people you know when you have no pain you have children and you have jobs and everything else I think that we really are a lot of people that aren't capable who are going well you know they were before or more the more were generation that might. Hire me if there was more to come as I note this is not a topic of course that we all like but I'll guarantee you it is a topic that many of us are going to need to know about even though we don't want to have to know about it and in some cases of course we're going to need to know about it even though we're not expecting to need to know about 818-6650 Jimbo 186-650-5462 extension 6 admitted you've always had questions to ask one you didn't want to go and retain one well here she is Jacqueline Newman New York based divorce attorney 186-6500 Jimbo her website by the way is in wife's seat divorce lawyer dot com Back in a moment for my 17th birthday I lost my sister and mom to cancer and then I got it too thanks to my children's hospital I'm cancer free and I'm starting to become a pediatric oncology nurse put your money where the miracles are get your Children's Miracle Network hospital. 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Just give me some details and get ready to celebrate your freedom from Dan Wewer Consolidated Credit we're here to give you freedom fighting for your free consultation if I had known it was this easy I would call it years ago call 805 to 6750 that's 8055 to 6758055 to 6715 it's not a great company service of the privileges of the most unlikely of the board every 3 not alone family life by the given the financial services about the amount of out of the privileged there will be a meeting or going to places by the Virginia State Corporation Commission license number d c 32 if you or someone you know is struggling with addiction please call this toll free number right now 803909528 that's 80390952 aid by calling your addiction team you're taking the 1st steps to recovery the help you need could be one call away 803909528 make the free Call now 803909528 your addiction team is a 3rd party advertiser for various treatment centers in place and networks individual results will very visit your addiction team dot com forward slash turns for more information this is John Green House and if your teeth are stained from coffee tea or smoking power swabs is the answer in 5 minutes you'll see 2 shades whiter teeth and in 7 days 6 shades even better there is no messy strips or trays that you have to leave in your mouth for an hour just wipe your teeth for 5 minutes and you're done to try power swabs call 180-679-0969 your bright white smile will have your friends talking about how great you look try at risk free 180-679-0969 that's 180-679-0969 extension 4 my 17th birthday I lost my sister and mom to cancer and then I got it to thank so much Children's Hospital I'm cancer free and I'm studying to become a pediatric oncology nurse put your money where the miracles are your Children's Miracle Network hospital. Diabetes high blood pressure and anxiety meds everyone's on them if you're a 50 year old male maybe a bit beefy or even with type 2 diabetes a $1000000.00 of Term insurance may only cost you about 200 bucks on. Month affordable term life insurance is out there called term provider and speak with Big Blue 8048114588411458 or visit Big Blue dot com Remember Big lose like you he's on meds to. Retire let God that. Let it run again let it. Force that's always a a wonderful and. Truly emotional moment but unfortunately sometimes things don't work out as planned the best laid plans of mice and men and women 186650 Jimbo Jack would do but our guest she has the website and wife seat divorce lawyer dot com and she handles cases like this and you never know you never know rowboat in Silver Spring Maryland calls it hi I know you were well thank you. And you're on the radio you know by Ok can you guys hear me we hear you fine go ahead Ok I'm in a bit of a situation right now I've been married or just about 1213 years and my wife basically she told me she needed and basically look on who you know she was starting her business and I pretty much went like. Letting her do its thing you know and it's like now I'm trying to do my thing right it's a point where she's saying I haven't been doing enough and now she wants a divorce but now I'm. Confused because she'll say that but they should go back and say well I don't want that and I'm just really really stuck because I'm not even living at the house right now you understand well no idea how you're dealing with someone who apparently has a little bit of trouble making up their mind. I don't know if you run across stuff like that Jacqueline But what would you say to ramona Yeah no absolutely I mean maybe a decision to have a divorce is you know it's very hard and I think a lot of people are in a lot of conflict especially It sounds like you've been married for a long time and so it sounds like you know she has moments where she feels like she wants them the marriage another time she doesn't it just sounds like she's in a lot of conflict but I mean is that the basis in most cases that I know it's hard to generalize but but if you're that of sure that back and forth there's a really bunch of a basis for a relationship but all I have to wonder I mean I think that there could be I think you know again maybe you know the romantic in me to say what I do for a living that I really am a believer that unless you are 100 percent sure you don't move forward with the boys so I think it's one of those things where you know maybe giving her a little more space till she's in a position to make up her mind might be worthwhile or if it's something that you want to fight for you know maybe then you should make that very clear to her but I'm a big advocate of people going to therapy and just trying to work through things to make sure you know make sure you're making educated decision I guess our best advice is good luck robo on but anyway Seriously good luck appreciate your call sorry about your plight as we go to the next call let me ask you quite frankly Jack what do women divorce lawyer are you really a romantic Are you a hopeless romantic. I'm a hopeless romantic that maybe I am a romantic I'm a big believer that there is someone for everyone and you know a lot of times that you get married and then you only get to work I don't always look at is a great ending a lot of times I think it could be a beginning and it could be a time to get out of with an unhealthy relationship and hopefully open you up to a new one for the fall right next up is Mark in Canton Ohio on the Jumbo headed show with New York divorce attorney Jacqueline Newman Hello Mark below thanks for let me be on your. Let me on the surface this by saying I've been divorced 'd for 10 years now and I'm comfortable being single and I've just I've tried online dating on and off a few times periodic Lee and I've I've I really do analyze a lot and one of my big things that kind of analogy come up with is let's say let's say you're an old time romantic and you believe in marriage for life and let's say you know let's say your grandpa make his grandma at a local fair 80 years ago and let's say at that fair there was a finite number of women and let's say there were 20 in the out of those tortie Grampa chose grandma or not because she was perfect but she met the most criteria that Grampa had in a woman and what and vice versa and when I tell people that they say will kill what's your point and I say we'll put online dating back then do you think grapplers stop the grandma and so I think it's not don't whole reason that because it's the one reason that people get divorced but it's a big slice of pie and it's infinite choices and I'm one dating is really over the years I can tell you how many times I've I've heard women say I've met my best friend's husband online and they were talking. Interesting with her guest responded that I hadn't even thought about that but there are a lot of aspects of course of our digital existence with an impact. Grab bodied wife you'll do it but I've got the Internet over here just a case of what you think Jack with you know it's very interesting and it is an interesting theory to think that people it's because of the fact that they have so many choices I do think that social media as a whole online dating all of that definitely is playing into you know divorce rates I think that the fact that you can be in a marriage and it you know it's just a simple as a kind of click on the keyboard to be in a situation to open yourself up to other relationships I think definitely plays a large role and again as I said earlier I think the social media the idea that there are so many people out there the idea that you can be so much happier with someone else connecting with old flames you know is just that easy and I think that plays a lot of the role so I think they agree with you I think there is an element of there being a lot of people that you can choose from you know it's not just meeting someone at the fair and in addition I think that you didn't see people having people so easily accessible to you to open those doors I think that does lead to divorce you don't walk down the online mate buff a They're Ok to Charlotte in Durham North Carolina Good evening Charlotte you're dating Jan thank you. You know I don't know if you hear this advertisement for either of you guys reside. In the Raleigh Durham Chapel Hill area of North Carolina. The Research Triangle Park near one of the studs but go ahead yes sir. And many times a day w.t.f. Has ever tires online where I think they are actually encouraging divorce and they say are you going to do is pay $299.00 and you can get a divorce and it doesn't take any time and just you know don't worry about it just go ahead and do it and you know. Oh my Marcy. Marriage is a tough assignment I mean it just really truly is and I think Jim that a majority of people may go to America over the ledge and share with a very. You know. Expectations that are unrealistic and it's like oh well he doesn't like the same colors as me anymore and they don't like carrots and I like rutabagas and it's a checklist Senate checklist and after you get the said Very well I'll just give me another one and you live well that's what I guess respond to that 1st of all let me assure you that w.p. To the Radio News Radio 680 is not suggesting that everybody go out get a divorce they may have sold commercial time to a company law firm perhaps offering a perfectly legal advice in that regard that doesn't mean that your local radio station is out to see the entire Raleigh Durham area becomes split up having said that your thoughts about lawyer advertising Jacqueline. Yeah and we don't see that as much in New York definitely not I don't personally see a lot of the bad when you're usually good attorneys don't do that sort of thing so I agree I think it's probably happening is they're just showing that you know it's an expensive gear and even if you're in a relationship in the media you're not getting out as a parent can't afford to movie they're just trying to direct you know people aren't probably since at the commercial and he shouldn't be replacing them over the ads Yeah all right 186650 Jimbo is our number 186-650-5462 extension 6 we will come back we'll talk some more about some things that I ran across that I found rather interesting we've all heard about prenup so what about post nops that's what I want to bring up with our guest and also the notion that divorce is contagious believe it or not 186650 Jimbo our number 186-650-5462 extension 6 they're glad to have you with us tonight as I say it's not a topic that we love but it's a topic that you may need to know about and fortunately in some cases you may need to know about it and you don't even know yet that you need to know about it if you get my drift back in just a moment. We try to make healthy choices but do you ever choose the air you breathe now you can with a complete indoor air quality package from Way Home Solutions included is the wave smart ventilation unit with computerized sensor control an app to reduce moisture mold odors and insect infestation from your basement or crawl space it also expels harmful gases such as write on carbon monoxide and other pollutants addressing the worst air in your home will transform the entire house add the wave 6 stage hospital grade air purifier the only one with have a filtration to u.v. Lamps and other processes for a 99 percent kill rate of a broad range of pollutants in allergens the wave indoor air quality package will make your home a drier cleaner and healthier one all year round it's time you choose the air you breathe choose wave Home Solutions call 888979 wave that's 888979 w.e.v.e. Or visit Dr House now dot com Dr House now dot com claims ownself as. They come along. 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I answered in the fire. You have at least. Your the streets of Florida information. 802916670 there is no goes through obligation for the information don't call 80916670 b I think you are. Going to get your 500 well and 6070 today will in North Dakota hijack it all on the respites publishing is looking for others that have it working and want to get a public place h. Publishing your book in our stores and online no Amazon us in our I'll let you handle all aspects that well pushing for you bringing our publisher to your copyright and editing back 105013689. 869. 805013689. I'm. Addressing a topic that our guest Jacqueline bit of the New York based lawyer addresses at her website in Wife c. Divorce lawyer can our children fare better if we use the Collaborative the Bourse process I'm not familiar with that term. So a collaborative divorce is where you it's a close call it's collaborative loss but basically you entrenchment agreement saying you're not going to go to courts is a very big push on settlement and what it is you work with collaboratively trained attorneys and usually it's an interdisciplinary approach so you can bring in a divorce coach which is a therapist trains a model a financial expert and then a child specialist in the placable I always stand most expensive player on the team why wouldn't you work with these people but the biggest catch of the whole thing is that the process breaks down and it's voluntary so either party can say they don't want to do it anymore at that point you cannot use those same attorneys in litigation so let's say I'm representing the husband and he and I are getting along fine and then the wife decides she doesn't want to be collaborative brawny more not only an eye out but so is my entire firm and everybody has to start all over again Ok now that I this is a term I just heard about and I don't know exactly what it is we all know what a prenup is before we get hitched Here are some of the things we agreed to back of the lovey w. Fades. Ad I don't know what to post not even the ads or even when it kicks in but but tell us about that concept. Sure I saw a post-nuptial agreement it's similar to a pre-nuptial agreement but it's after marriage so we actually have been seeing them a little bit on the rise and when generally what our office sees is that when there's going to be a liquidity event on a lot of time people want to do a postnuptial agreement for whatever reason meeting that their business is about to be sold or they feel you know for whatever reason during the marriage one party feels that you know finances they want to just put their finances in a certain way or set it up a lot of times I offered you see them when there's been enough there and then sometimes people feel you know if you want to stay in that marriage I want to know I'm going to be financially secure night and then this is an interesting study I've heard of that divorce is contagious you're 75 percent more likely to get divorced if you have a close friend whose marriage has also ended and what's more people are 147 percent more likely to split if they have several divorced friends in their social network even having a divorce brother or sister be injured 22 percent more likely to get divorced and having a divorce coworkers increases your chances of splitting up with a partner by 50 percent of this a study that. Came out to see from a psychologist Dr Caroline Schuster a Do those numbers seem right to you. You know it's interesting I hadn't heard that study but as you're reading to me I'm thinking that makes a lot of sense but yes I think that you absolutely increase your chances of getting divorced if you have people close to you and again I think it's just that influence so you know there is let's say you have one couple who you know the wife gets annoyed at the husband for not putting the just in the dishwasher or whatever small type of thing that normally might not be as annoying but then when you have your friend who's sitting and talking about how they're you know their husband does x. Y. Z. And it's just a kind of there is the there's the pot shall we say and also if you have a friend that's getting divorced and it's not in you know the loveless marriage that you feel you're in and now is out dating and having a good time and you know having free evening then all this sort of thing people get jealous and they're like you know what I want to do that too and I want to have my like that way too so I do think there's an element you know being contagious is one thing but I think that you know having like the Boers and the can happen too but let's face it a lot of marriages used to stay together which was not necessarily a good thing because of the terrible stigma attached to divorce we used to societal a stigmatized any number of things children out of wedlock and the like these days we don't stigmatise much of anything except the politically correct people drinking water out of plastic bottles and this sort of thing I'm wondering your thoughts about what we might call the the the shifting stigmas of society. I mean I absolutely agree with you and I think that that is a really bother large reason why divorce is on the rise as a whole concept is because it isn't seen in the way that it was and obviously it's easier to get you know there was a time where only men could get divorced if women had cheated on them and by 3 means living to get support that meditated on them I mean there's a lot of shifts that happen over time and I think that the statement definitely one of them Same thing with prenuptial agreements you know Iraq says upon a prenuptial agreement and I think that you know it used to be seen as just the way the rich would do it no one would talk about it and then now so many people are doing it at the stigma that is gone it's become almost like a trend was that stigma helpful I mean granted there are probably marriages that should have have stayed up the get busted apart these days a conversion rate there are probably were in the days gone by back in the days of your probably marriages that stuck together that shouldn't have you know I think that that's there's some truth to that I think another reason that people say to marriages you know the generations back is because again you know a lot of women were more financially dependent on men and so they were in a position to get that work and I think now with so many women in the workforce and earning you know there's a lot of women are out earning that and you're starting to watch this trend I think that women don't stay in marriages for financial security the way they need to so there's more to come as we learn about some of the things that we may need to know about divorce not because we think that's a wonderful idea but because you may need to know before we take a break let's talk to Charles he's a listener to Cliff 570 in Fort Worth Texas Hello Charles thank you very much for taking me sure. I have been doing a lot of reading and I've come up with some ideas are there been some theories that instead of courtship. People are dating which is just a training ground for serial monogamy you don't go into the relationship as something permanent but you go into the relationship thinking well if it doesn't work out I can always go on to the next one you're faithful while you're in the relationship but it's it's nothing that you would consider permanent as courtship and marriage used to be interesting thoughts I remember a card today in The New Yorker magazine a few years back in the show the guy on one of the with a regular woman is sitting there and he says Marcia will you be my 1st wife what about it Jacqueline. I mean I think there you know there's some truth to that I think that you know is it kind of goes back to the idea of whether people are staying in marriages for different reasons and I think that you know I would agree that I do think that people feel that they can get divorced much easier it goes back to one of the earlier callers who you know there's no advertising on t.v. That for 300 dollars you go get that word so I think that you know getting divorce is an easier process than it used to be especially if you know the states have gotten rid of faults as a grounds for divorce but now you can get divorced just for not getting along any more by the concept of no fault I mean New York was one of the last states that got rid of no laws and I can tell you as somebody who's experience doing small trials of the herbal terrible thing to have thoughts as a reason for people getting divorced and there are courts that would deny you a divorce if you didn't prove enough grounds to really put people in a position to have to be exaggerated you know event in their marriages just to be able to find a judge to grant a divorce so you know it was a little bit of a happy dance in New York when ultimately they got rid of no fault I mean they got a fall to make it a no yappy. Mordecai 186650 Jimbo Well 866-505-4626 Our guest is Jacqueline do about her website pretty much says who she is and why see divorce lawyer dot com We're at 186650 Jimbo 186-650-5462 extension 68 will be back in just a moment if you or someone you know is struggling with addiction please call this toll free number right now 803909528 that's 80390952 aid by calling your addiction team you're taking the 1st steps to recovery the help you need could be one call away 803909528 make the free Call now 803909528 your addiction team is a 3rd party advertiser for various treatment centers in place and networks individual results will bury visit your addiction team dot com forward slash turns for more information sarcoma odds are you never heard that word before for the 40 people diagnosed with sarcoma every day it is a life changing word because circum is cancer awareness advocacy and in research the sarcoma Foundation of America is bringing hope to the families whose lives have been turned upside down by a cancer they have never heard of until diagnosis least once in the place to find the cure for sarcoma for more information on the work of the sarcoma Foundation of America go to cure sarcoma dot org. 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I'm sad to say they mean right down the middle and if you want a better. Song I think that it hurts too much Ok you got the call my I got Shaq. Yeah there you go 186650 Jimbo 186-650-5462 extension 6 we should note by the way that Judge Jackson Newman not only practices all of this but she's written a book about it which is coming out in January the new rules of divorce published by Atria publishing often I tell people that a certain book would be a great holiday gift I'm not sure that that this would be the case in this particular circumstance. But on the last there are people out there who probably should be aware that the new rules of divorce why the old ones were hard enough to follow what pray tell are the new ones. You know the new ones really are kind of breaking a lot of the stereotypes so for an example there used to be this concept that you know women would always get custody of children and you know now do you know one of the things we talk about I talk about in the book is that that's not the case anymore now if men want 5050 custody you know a lot of courts are seriously considering it and I think that you know I would say maybe 5 years is going to be the presumption and you know the burden on the person who doesn't want to get 5050 custody so I really think that there's just you know it's into one of the ship kind of thing that is going on and there are just other issues also that you want to just start thinking about things they're just not what they need to be. The subtitle to Jacqueline to much book of the new rules of divorce is 12 secrets to protecting your wealth health and happiness share a secret or 2 with us for one of them as I just said is really the custody thing I mean that's a totally I would say that's one of the big ones that people do you know I talk also about not knowing if you're ready to get divorced you know which again we talked a little bit about that I talked about the timing of divorce you talk about you know picking an attorney you know there's this theory that people say that they want to shock for an attorney and I we say dolphins are smarter than sharks you know a lot of times you really don't need and shouldn't have somebody who's just blindly aggressive you want someone who's going to be very strategic in the way that they move forward so it's a lot of things like that I don't want to give all the secrets away. As a lot of it's a lot of things where you know really just kind of giving people the guidelines and you know it's sort of a handbook that I want people to see meeting before they go and you know spend the retainer fee meeting an attorney just get a little knowledge and again when people are on the fence they're not sure they want to go in with a divorce I'm hoping that looking at and meeting this book will just put them in that mindset to say yes this is definitely what I want to do or no I'm not really ready for this again Jacqueline look there's a people Jacqueline's forthcoming book is The New Rules of divorce published by Atria and the subtitle 12 secrets to protecting your wealth health and happiness she is an attorney based in New York City and her Web site n y c divorce lawyer this is the dad who calls them from hell of Georgia Hello Daddy. Oh Jim so I. Just wanted to state this it's been many years ago for me but it might help somebody that was in the same situation I was not married to this girl lady we had a son and we had a mortgage but we were not married is this was in Georgia 'd. What was common all along had been done away with I don't know that there have been things that really did do with the but the situation was that we had a son. But when we split apart of course we had a mortgage together every did have to have an attorney on that but when we split apart a friend of mine had told me that I needed to get a paternity test not I was like You're crazy because you know he is my son yada yada but when it came down to visitation that was when we had a problem you've been listening to a special sports program we now return to regularly scheduled programming already in progress and after. A that the only rights that I had was to pay child support so the paternity test I think might have helped me had it not so my understanding and you know the state handled this all very differently and I don't practice in Georgia so I really can't speak to that but I do know that there are certain states that have an automatic presumption is the mother put the child father's name on the 1st a terrific at and it she does not or even if she does a lot of times that they will enforce and they have a paternity test I must get like a ruling from the court that you are in fact the father not every state does that there are certain ones I can't be contrary to specifically but that might have been something yeah that could have been possibly helpful for you know the movie Kramer vs Kramer is that basic scenario outdated today. You know on some level it is I mean you know Kramer vs Kramer was one of the 1st movies that came out that really kind of exposed you know what happens to Boris and that's a lot of the children and and looked at it from the father's point of view which a lot of movies and you know a lot of that was a very moving movie for that time and you know that time because a lot of they just didn't look at fathers point of view so I would say there's an element of it outdated because it really there was again this presumption of the mom and it was so shocking that the mom left in the Father missing care of them but now the fathers are as involved as mothers and very often in childbearing I don't know if it would be seen in the same way that it was seen at that time. So there were there's more to come Jacqueline No but our guest her website n.y.c. Divorce lawyer dot com Her new book coming out in January from Atria publishing the new rules of divorce what it's 6650 Jimbo it will be back in a moment as a kid I want to snowboard all over the world but then I contracted bacterial meningitis my legs were amputated below the knees thanks to great care I became a professional athlete they are money where the miracles are getting your Children's Miracle Network hospital. Sarcoma odds are you never heard that word before but for the 40 people diagnosed with sarcoma every day it is a life changing word life changing and devastating because sarcoma is cancer sarcoma is a cancer of bone and soft tissue more prevalent in children than in adults more than $6000.00 people lose their lives to Sarcoma each year treatment options for sarcoma are limited and new therapies are desperately needed more research and increased awareness is necessary to find a cure for a cancer that you probably didn't even know existed until now through awareness advocacy and research the sarcoma Foundation of America is determined down those affected by this forgotten cancer to bring hope to the children and adults whose lives are for ever changed by a word they had never heard before please help us in the fight to find the cure for sarcoma for more information on sarcoma and the work of the Sar Komen Foundation of America please go to your sarcoma dot org Doctors Without Borders teams confront hard facts and conflict in crisis sounds when others look away we step in to act because measles still kills more than 100000 children every year we're there to vaccinate more than 1000000 because some countries have only one or 2 mental health professionals we provided over 400000 mental health consultations last year the fact is your support makes our life saving work possible picture the impact we can have together Doctors Without Borders dot org Dr. Without Borders teams confront hard facts and conflict in crisis sounds when others look away we step in to act because measles still kills more than 100000 children every year we're there to vaccinate more than 1000000 because some countries have only one or 2 mental health professionals we provided over 400000 mental health consultations last year the fact is your support makes our lifesaving work possible picture the impact we can have together Doctors Without Borders dot org Right now Doctors Without Borders medical teams are operating in some of the most remote and dangerous corners of the world when front yards become front lines at the crossroads of conflict an epidemic where there are no hospitals that's where we operate your response is critical to our response in places where few others will go that's where we operate learn more of Doctors Without Borders daughter org as a kid I wanted to snowboard all over the world but then I contracted bacterial meningitis my legs were amputated below the knees thanks to great care I became a professional athlete your money where the miracles are getting your Children's Miracle Network hospital. On Alonso. In them. Than. 4. 126650 jumbo 186-650-5462 extension 6 about the things that I know that you're prepared to talk about this would just drop my jaw what it divorces is not caused by student loan debt really Yeah I mean what happened the situation like that is that you know you have one person who you know maybe walk into a marriage without the money that and the other one does and so you know when money can be tight there's a lot of stress at home then and when you're paying the student loan debt especially if the kookier that the 1st you have debt is not Ok for you think a lot of anger there could be resentment it could be the feeling of you know I'm working really hard on earning a certain money we're still getting pennies and yet I'm paying the debt that you had before the marriage and you're not even earning a significant amount of money so it does cause a lot of stress I mean I think it ties into money stress of the whole Yeah you know loan debt I think something that is calmer one of the things that bothers people a lot I'm usually a pretty large and again I'm not producing with a good income I think if you need them at the other end of the age scale here how divorce is destroying the finances of Americans over 50 how how what is the age range for most divorces or can you generalize to that. You know it really trends I see spots so I think that you know you do have your divorces in your say mid twenty's and those those are really the ones that got married just too young they just didn't really know what they were doing they got married too young maybe a life this wasn't the person for them and a lot of times you know it's an easy divorce there aren't necessarily children and finances are not great so it's kind of an easy one but then you see this big jump and I see the next stage is usually when the children go to college usually it's that they in around your fifty's late forty's early fifty's where a lot of children are going to college and ends up happening is that the children was the bond between a lot of these people and they really think grown apart so the child sees they're off in college and the husband and wife and across the table from each other and say so and they realize they have nothing to talk about they really think clearly grown apart and I think that it's really a big time that a lot of people will do that and then we have what's called the Great of course and that's really where people may have grown children and they realize that they don't want to die next to this person and so there's a really big push on great of worse we have a lot of people are starting to say you know this is I don't want to live you know x. Amount of years left on this for als and I don't want to lose them with you while I have a nice day Ok to Tyler Dayton Ohio Good evening trial or. Great topic I was just going to say that I completely under understand what your guest is saying you know I do know somebody for 3 map years and her parents paid for college education I took out mine in student loans and I had $30000.00 in debt she had nothing and it was really hard to understand each other's financial situations were no longer together but there was no resent them but Herb budget was way different than mine because of that. Yeah I absolutely think that happens and also families can be annoyed so you have these parents you know maybe her parents were saying we scrimp and save So we'll be didn't have that and now you're getting in a relationship with someone has that and so and I can put pressure on her from the family and I don't know if that happened in your specific situation but you see that a lot as well Ali about 30 seconds to go here if you could change the divorce laws of this country the number one change you would make is move good question I would want courts to take a larger role which they're doing are ready but I want them to give it a larger role in protecting children during divorce and really educating parents on how they need to be handling their children during divorce and really keeping them out of it fair enough all right stand the line will speak off air again Jacqueline Newman is a New York City based divorce attorney her Web site and y.c. Divorce lawyer dot com And coming out of January from Atria publishing is her book The New Rules of divorce something to keep in mind again not a topic that we relish but you need to know about this stuff because you just never know I've Jimbo had and this is Westwood one. What can being listed on y.p. Dot com do for your business you're about to find out for free y.p. Will give your business a free listing on 2 extremely powerful customer delivering tools y.p. Dot com and the y.p. App growing your business requires maximum visibility and every month over 70000000 potential new customers search for businesses on y.p. Dot com and the y.p.s. 70000000 but if you're not there they can't find you get the maximum visibility that comes from a free listing with America's largest marketing agency for small business y.p. Look you're the expert in your business and y.p. Is the expert in driving new customers to your business imagine what that 3 listing on y.p. Could do for your bottom line play in your free business listing today potential customers are searching for businesses like yours each and every day don't let your competitors get them because you're not listed go to my free y.p. Dot com That's my free y.p. Dot com my free y.p. Dot com kill mold mildew with one simple spray wet and forget indoor mold and mildew disinfectant cleaner just spray went in for get indoor wait 10 minutes then wipe clean your done use it in a bathroom kitchen basement attic clean deodorize disinfectant one simple spray went in for good indoor mold and mildew disinfectant cleaner No scrubbing no bleach no fumes get when for get indoor at participating Kmart a true value and do it best tours or visit when forget dot com for a store near you you're listening to can a photo f. In the song also found on Tuesday k n f o f m on Lynnwood spring. This is c.b.s. News on the hour your home for original reporting on that Piper shoot out in the streets of Miramar Florida. 4 people including 2 innocent bystanders are dead after police say a jewelry store heist turned into the carjacking of a u.p.s. . Both robbers were shot and killed as are many reports from South Florida several dozen police car set off on a high speed chase that cut through the greater Miami area after at least one suspect hijacked that u.p.s. Truck eventually the truck was forced to slow down when it became boxed in by traffic at least 20 law enforcement officers approached with long guns and opened fire right now police have not yet said if it was their own gun fire Well the u.p.s. Driver as well as a driver in a nearby vehicle at least 200 rounds of gunfire were shot a Blackhawk helicopter crashes in Minnesota killing 3 National Guard soldiers who were on board w.c. Radio's Susie Jones reports the u.-h. 60 Blackhawk took off about 2 o'clock in the same clone airport on a maintenance test flight about 9 minutes after the takeoff a mayday call came in it took crews from several different departments hours to find the wreckage Minnesota Governor Tim Walz words will never ease the pain of this tragic loss and the state of Minnesota is forever in the debt of these warriors the governor says all the information on the cause of the crash is still preliminary the army Safety Center out of Fort right person Alabama is on their way to do a more comprehensive investigation Susie Jones for c.b.s. News just outside St Cloud Minnesota Meantime officials will be full of security as usual for the ceremony this weekend to remember those lost in the attack on Pearl Harbor 78 years ago as a shooting there yesterday is fresh on people's minds a u.s. Sailor killed 2 civilians wounded another and then turned the gun on himself at the military base in Pietschmann is now full speed ahead Democrats could vote in the next few weeks correspondent Nancy Courtis the speaker confirmed what many had assumed that the house is on track to impeach a president for just the 3rd time in u.s. History the president gave us no choice top. Kratz from 6 key committees are already conferring on articles of impeachment that could include abuse of power bribery and obstruction of justice for all and. All of Republicans insist the president had every right to ask Ukraine's president to investigate his campaign rival Joe Biden the Judiciary Committee holds its next hearing next Monday this is c.b.s. News. Lets start this weekend at the White House from Washington to the world correspondent Steve Butterman is in New Zealand the c.b.s. News weekend round up on the radio and online Have you ever thought about saying goodbye to your job just walking into your boss and saying I quit and how do I.