Residue from the grass they call the dew dome. Lights a guy on call run the truth season 3 great reason to. Be added to respond to the screen. I don't care for you. Know. Us Again do you call. I don't care for you Ok. The 1st to make any at the time. 'd I heard the. Changing Lanes I heard my name most beside 6 or 7 words only. It's absurd to. Not just. See this Alice. And the guys all this way. I don't care for you to know. Us Again beautiful mom. I don't care for you no kid. In the 1st few Me Get me out of the residue from the past they're going those 2 dots in my mind us against them fearful kind of walk. Hayes Sweden. Who you. Love and. Been to. Got. Through through. Me. Me. Love you. No search and. In no man that love you. Where we need some. We need some in. Need oh so bad. Is bad love. As they are then we have a. Oh Very very cool stuff where you're at there on Cape you that was the zombies we also had metal in Peru Jack Johnson cast Haley as well. And here we are 11 minutes after 7 and it is time ladies and gentlemen read to wrap up my focus artist of the week and that is dealing with the music of Susan to desk it will do is show next. So you can decide whether you should let the last bit of life out of your old clunker or upgrade to something new or as you're expecting we're going to tell you the action around them later but it's not some b.s. a guy or go to Harbor Motors dot com. We love that you've chosen Verne's furniture best furniture store so we're treating you to store wide saving Flinn mattress that's just 19995 to clean face that's proly to 9995 with no sales tax in fact no sales tax there are 4 big floors of furniture and appliances chooser new living room dining room and bedrooms that n.c.r. Selection of kitchen and laundry appliances are downtown your you can store 15 g. Street serving you for generations and voted the best Burns furniture. Looking for the best product in. Dr Green. 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Games brought to my last Frenchman pizza from Bruce Brooklyn Marvin Remax humble realty arcade as historic Creamery district in the drum Tap House and satori wellness it's right here on u m k we're going to Freddie funny is coming up at 730 Paul f. Tompkins laboring under delusions of a really great comedy record. Before that however it is time for my final day of my focus artist of the week and that is Susan to desk. With her. 1st stuff that we got a hold of here and this is her final solo record before she finally teamed up with her husband Derek Trucks to form the day the to desk Trucks Band This is the album's put out in 2008 called the Back to the river this would be the title track here I come. To. Let's. Take you to. Our. a. Long Yeah. That is Susan Tedeschi right there on. Love well from back to the river it was in 2008 Keep in mind. Trucks got married and 2001 and it wasn't until 2011. That their album came out their 1st album together as the rescue trucks band and it took some doing because I mean you could hear I mean Susan Tedeschi band tight really great Derek Trucks Band tight really great and the melded them together . Crescent City looking around 66 looks like we're in for a sunshine throughout the weekend how ever we do have a chance of rain on Sunday about a 20 percent chance. 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Hi This is Mark of blue sky roof or if you're thinking dang it's almost winter again and I got this old worn out roof and you need a roof or called Blue Sky roof 82808417 if you had drips coming from your ceiling last winter and called Blue Sky roofer and put the buckets away will keep you dry this winner just called 28084174 an estimate and secure your replacement brother you want it done now or this spring so don't be shy call Mark at 280-8417 go on line of blue sky river dot com that's blue sky are double o f e r dot com blue sky roofer dot com Don't set out the buckets this one or get your roof done before it starts raining buckets with blue sky roof or a local company based on the killing bill costs today or any day 280-8417. You who are all right ladies and gentlemen it is time for our Friday morning funnies Paul f. Tompkins laboring under delusions here Kaiju am being brought to us by the fine people like Karen McLeod insurance Mad River and Company and Humboldt cider company too much if this was your fear starting to think that I had some sort of day. Zis. Don't tell Paul we just want his final days to be as exciting as possible. Oh it is a job thank you so much for being here this evening I just want to tell you some stories tonight of various jobs that I have had over the years and I'm speaking to you in my capacity as a stand up comedian this is the longest I've held any job title ever. Ladies and gentlemen I've been a stand up comedian since I was 17 years old 17 I was a child I've child going to work in comedy clubs it was down right to Kenzie in. There I was just out of high school to my tattered cap and my study face and I went to a. Comedy Club. Please and I tell you. So the moment I set foot on the stage of a comedy club that's when I knew well this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life case closed I figured out right now but even though I knew what I was going to do with the rest of my life I still thought it was important that I go to college that fall. Now I thought about it I really thought long and hard about this and I thought if I don't go to college I might get yelled at. Is there anything worse on earth than being yelled at you're already wrong there isn't. There's a fear that persists to this day like I'm a grown man I'm a mustache right I feel afraid of getting yelled at. And examine some sort of municipal building a post office type situation. Standing there a line that I've stood in a 1000 times. Whole time in the line my lizard brain starts a whisper into me you're in the wrong line. When you get up to the glass the lady will be manic. Like right before it's my turn I'm convinced I get up there I'm going to say what I need done and she's going to say you're in the wrong line Sarah. You get burned out all because nothing. We all agree we don't like him right. Get to the back of the other line Oh and you're a bad person just like you thought you were. Now of course that hasn't happened yet yet. So there was no way I wasn't going to go to college so they got to college though much like as I said put on a comedy club stage and knew this is what I was going to do for the rest of my life soon as I said put on a college campus like Louis lower school. When is this ever a and. So I dropped out so fast so fast I dropped out. And I don't regret anything to this day ladies and gentlemen I will occasionally realize I never have to go to school again in this age of relieve watches over like Oh that's right. Oh I do what I like Oh I'm not so poor dumb child not control of their own lives. So my Acca my academic career ended literally unceremoniously. And I had to tell my parents that I had dropped out of college right and I was terrified braced myself for a gale force yelling at. My mother just says well we expected this to happen. I don't care for that at all. Let's put aside the fact that technically you are correct because here we are. Jealous of the lady. Who just kind of nonsupport of parenting that is driving me to seek validation from strangers in comedy clubs. So mother said Well if you're not going to go to school you have to get a job fair enough so I went downtown move downtown Philadelphia got my 1st retail job. Now I never had a job before and this opened up a whole new universe of getting yelled at that I didn't even believe was possible. Like this person a year older than me determined my fate every day. Where you retell was the 1st time ever heard the phrase if you've got time to lean you got time to clean. Another human being said that. To my face. If you've got time to leave you got time to clean Why are you writing stuff like that are we in the Army. But you leaving just out of the question totally other question down acceptable for an 8 hour shift you know not a horse right I can't like just lock my knees and I'm good for the day. So my 1st retail job. It was a hat store. A hat store by the name of hats in the belfry. We're going to pull off. Surely the owners of had to the bill for we're doing the same thing with Jim. Let me walk you through that title. You know the expression bats in the belfry. We think something's a little crazy it's not quite what you expected. And you know hats I. Write at. Pubs these 4 words are combining to let you know this is your grandad is ours our. Splits going to. Think about what's the number one complaint we all have about had stores moer. If I have to be and have stores every other day my life it should at least be a fun experience. What's really sad is this name actually worked on me like I thought it would be fun to work there. So who did have fun and out of the belfry was the customers. People would come in by the gaggle. They would ask me to hand them things that were closer to them than they were to me. Trying to have some Gago laugh at each other take pictures now. Leave everything lying around for me to clean up. Leave without buying anything pausing only to look over their shoulder and say to me you must have so much fun working here. Mustang. You are not the boss of me. That other teenager is. They were people had the most fun at out of the belfry was trying on our fanciful theatrical hats they were hanging up on the wall these were costume as they would be like an oversized 10 gallon hat or in a blink and stovepipe or a Roman centurion helmet these hats were so much fun they could be down on the ground where people would just get at them anytime they wanted so for some sort of joy overdose. Cats were hung up on the wall out of reach and for us to get these hats down off the wall where the employees would take this long wooden pole and with this pole we would fish the hats out of the heavens. And then deposit them in the hands of the waiting fund seekers below. Their heads were people thought I was having so much fun working there because I got to play with a stick. Right they thought I was like an ape who'd figured out a tool. Always going to get Samantha on a stick and that'll be his lunch. Was when I knew it was kind of time to move on from House of the belfry. When more than once this happened more than once this happened to me someone came in the store I'm alone behind the counter person comes into the store and says to me pointing at a very specific hat that has a very specific name say to me Hey let me try on that King hat. I. I. I I. I. Called a king etc. It's called a crown. What are you doing I . Crown you know this. Sort of foreign term we don't have a word for it in English. It's not a word you've only ever seen in print you never said it out loud your phrase going to mispronounce a. Crown. Not King hat. Crown. You know like. Like crown. More then once this happened one week for Humanity ladies and gentlemen 6 months later a totally different person walks into the store I'm alone behind the counter a can I see the king at what is going all over. How could this be. Dictionaries to have you given to some words. Needless to say neither one of these geniuses purchased the King at the genie that will be as. Well you will be buying the king had today he. Will be buying the king had using your value papers. Well then may I show you to the Go away hole I. Go. The way. Those guys have come. For the so that Ok if I have to have a day job a muzzle of a day job that actually is fun rights as fun as it could be so I knew there was a video store up the street of a video store that is perfect you were just standing there renting movies to people and watching movies all day long it's simple so this video store knew they were hiring. And I knew they were aggressively hiring. Because the name of this video store was beta only. What I said. Beta only it was a video store that trafficked exclusively in Betamax videotapes. This was in 1990 I. Dream of bed I had long since God. Save for a hearty band of 8 people who made up our entire customer base. These were people who knew the rest of those fools made a mistake. These people. Available for. It would come to the store and every time they did at some point the transaction they had to get it out there that Beta was still superior to v.h.s. . Sometimes when they 1st walked in sometimes when they were just browsing around sometimes when they're on their way out but at some point it always had to happen Ok well I'll return this tomorrow I hope it's good I mean even if it's not and still be a pleasure to watch with so many more lines of resolution. I heard you. So because the same 8 people are not necessarily going to read videos every night it was a lot of down time and paid only I worked the night shift this guy Jeff. And Jeff and I would sometimes pass a shift in crushing silence. Why would that be well I will tell you it seems the owners of the beta only video store could not scare up a bit of mags video pull a or 2 have in their beta only video store. So in the absence of watching movies all day Jeff and I got our video store clerk small talk out of the way in the 1st week of working together it's not supposed to go that fast you're supposed to parse it out over years even you're only going to talk in between movies that's how it's supposed to go. So in the absence of any movies to watch to fill up the time Jeff and I we're now like an old married couple who stopped talking to each other years ago. But we were still together just for the company. So one night shift is going by not a word has passed between us and I tried this conversational gambits I said to Jeff Jeff I said. Jeff I'm awful tired Well this sparked something in Jeff. Jeff turned to me and said. I'm tired too. Well the wheels started turning ladies and gentleman. Jeff I said. I propose that we take naps at work. Oh absolutely Jeff was intrigued. What you do should we. Should we nap in shifts. Oh no Jeff dear boy. I put it to you that we now come currently at work. Jeff. No one is coming in here. And with good reason this store is dumb. Well just saw the wisdom of words. And he laid his little head down on the counter and I crawled inside the counter. Which was empty because what we're going to put in there our bags of money. Slid the door shut I fell asleep instantly deep dreamless. I will confess you know I've been chasing that video store counter sleep ever since . I spent thousands of dollars on the finest mattress in the world as to our. Oh yes I bought them from hotels. So our ship came in and. We woke up eventually it was time to go home we locked up the empty register and we left. The next day I go into work. The manager says Paul I need to talk to you and I think all. Gates. I am going to get yelled at for sure. The manager says listen I'm really sorry that I've to tell you this but you've been taking so much time off from work to do these stand up comedy shows that it doesn't make sense to keep you employed here any longer you know it's taking too much time off so we have to let you go and you have 2 options you could either go home now or you could be getting I was out the door why would I. Stay around here the rest of that sentence. Now you know our stay out of finish out my last shift I mean what happens if there's a rush. And children comes in. Yes indeed it is only it is Paul f. Tompkins laboring under delusions It's our Friday morning funnies here Ok chew em oh yes there is plenty more where that came from I assure you but 1st our fine sponsors have a few words they need to say don't go anywhere. 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Vested interest in helping your business succeed we also have a huge audience we should all for radio stations and a last post out post you can get all of humble county by working with just us l.c.c. I can showcase your business to your friends community and customers in creating a place. Regular old radio can will work with you we're flexible and adaptable to your budget to contact us today and see how to help get the word out about your business 765104 email or ties each dot com Your friends your neighbors your community. And here we are minute and a half away from 8 o'clock close enough to college you got it tuned to k h u m cutting your Benbow translator 8 to 8 to 80 for now and streaming on the web at Kaiju m. Dot com It's our Friday morning funnies Paul f. Tompkins we bring under delusions. So I was fired but I was triumphant because now I was embarking on my career as a professional stand up comedian dream come true because at that time ladies and gentlemen Well hold on a 2nd. A. Lot happened between then and now. Because at that time ladies and gentlemen there was a stand up comedy movement happening in America stand up comedy was everywhere was all over the television there were 3 major clubs in the city of Philadelphia alone any bar in the suburbs that had an empty corner they'd stick a microphone in there it was an easy way for everyone to make a lot of money and it was going to be that way far Adaora. 2994. The stand up comedy boom has gone stand up comedy bust people have seen too much stand up comedy it's not a t.v. Anymore all the clubs are closing down they have taken the microphones out of the corners of the bars. Work is drying up I don't have any work I don't have any prospects of work and I figure All right well I'm going to start struggling again I'm as we'll do it someplace warm. So I moved to Los Angeles California where I did not know a soul and why very quickly burned through my stake of $200.00 I. Never been so broke you can't believe it you know that you. Know maybe I really. If I just was a holo. I have 0 money. I don't think I was even legal. So I knew what I had to do but I really did want to do it which was get a day.